#im still stuck on this writing peice from yesterday

[foronceididntlookback]

to the girls laying on a beanbag 3 meters away from me giggling at a book they picked up: kindly shut the fuck up, im trying to work

[zombierocker17]

Harry is drunk and needy on his birthday, Harry Styles Imagine (Smut)

(Hi my lovelies, been about 2 weeks (Im sorry). I'm back at writing, It's was recently Harry's birthday!!. So I decided on a special imagine. Drunk Harry, but also needy Harry. Enjoy- Briana ♥️)

(Teasing, Handcuffs, Dominating over Harry)

The early evening of February 1st, Harry's birthday. Harry was eager to go out tonight, instead of his more recent big fancy floral or printed suits he wore a more romantic looking suit. A more tame look, his hair done nicely. A white dress shirt, unbuttoned of course. And a black blazer paired with black dress pants. Adorning his neck a loose black tie hangs.

You watched him put on each price of clothing, the silky tie dragging against his lightly tanned skin. Recently trimmed hair falling into his face as he leaned down to tie his shoes. His long fingers gripped the laces with ease. The rings on his fingers complimenting his outifit perfectly .

Your wearing a long sleeve grey dress top, with a pair of his pearls around your neck. Some tight black pants and some sparkly black heels. It was casual but fancy enough for Harry's birthday dinner. He certainly enjoyed anything you wore. Especially if you where wearing his clothes.

.

.

.

The dinner started in a restaurant for dinner with his family and some friends. Then dwindled down to a few friends, and Gemma. Harry had been saying all week how we was going to get completely wasted for his birthday. And you believed him.

.

.

.

It was a romantic fun evening, Sitting on some dark blue velvet barstools, you where deep in a conversation with Gemma. "And then Harry starts running around the house in my training bra!" she giggles talking about Harry and hers childhood. You giggle trying to imagine younger Harry in the bra running around. "That sound like something he would do. I mean yesterday Harry tried on a pair of my earnings, he was like 'Y/N do you think these would look nice with my sparkly nave blue suit?'. " you say imitating his voice, while giggling.

"That definately sounds like my brother" she drags the sentence as she looks past your head, looking behind you. She laughs covering her mouth with her hand. You turn around seeing somthing you didn't expect.

His blazer off , hair slightly messy. His dress shirt hanging on by a few buttons. He was dancing to the music stumbleing over to you an Gemma. You had only seen Harry drunk one other time, except last time it was early in the night. He was only tipsy that time, kinda silly, loud reminded you of regular Louis.

"Heeeyy baabbe!!" His voice slurred, his long ringed fingers wrap around your waist with a very tight grip. "Hi-ya H !" You say pecking his cheek. "What are you babes talkin about?" He says.

You giggle, "Did you just call your sister a 'babe' ?" You ask. "Mm yeah. She's gorgeous, I mean she's related to me after all!" He says running his fingers through his hair you thought 'there it is'. His whole 'all about him' drunk quality. It was cute and silly but it was Harry.

He walks behind you holding onto your shoulders. His lower half was now pressed against your back, he places his chin on your head resting it there. He presses he crotch against your bottom, your body tenses up at the feeling. He has a boner, and he is pressing it right against you.

He says loudly near your ear "Baabee, I neeeed you pweease" he begs. Gemma has left already, she left the moment Harry placed his head on top of yours. She knew you two would want to talk. He turns your swivel bar stool around to face him. " I neeeed you now. Can wee pweease leave?" He asks again pouting his bottom lip. Gosh, you just wanted to bite at it.

Harry is definelty the dominating one in the bedroom, but sometimes he absolutely loves it when you in charge. And judging by the way he's acting that's how you assumed tonight was going to end.

You look at his glazed over sparkling green eyes. They are practically calling to your soul to take him home. You give in knowing he would only be whiny if you didn't .

"Fine! Let's get going my needy little 26 year old." You say grabbing your things and rubbing your hand against his soft chin and jawline. He smiles and wraps his arm around your waist pulling you close. Heading out to the car you notice Harry able to walk a little smoother. Clearly his drunkenness leaveing him and being replaced with pure lust and need for you.

He helped you into the car taking into account you where still wearing your heels. Both you and Harry sat in the back seats of the car. This car had some things similar to a limo, the little window that can be rolled up for privacy from the driver. Large black leather seats for two people to sit on. And a small compartment for storage.

"Home please Tanner, and hurry please" Harry says to the nodding driver before rolling up the little window.

"Someone is needy" you say chuckling a little bit at Harry. His hand immediately takes a very strong grip on your leg. "Very needy" you say under your gasp from the sudden grip on your leg.

"On-top of me please" Harry begs a small whimper in his tone. You obey his orders taking into account he used the word 'Please' , instead of being to rough or forceful.

You climb on top of him straddling him both your legs on either side of his waist. As soon as you get comfortable on his lap you feel his boner against the area he craves. Grinding on him you earn a moan from his alcohol stained lips. It motivates you to keep moving, you grind harder agaisnt him his head tilts back enjoying the teaseing.

"I've been wanting this all evening, ever since I first saw you wearing these tight pants" he says sliding his hands up your thighs and wrapping around your waist landing on your ass. He gives it a quick spank, resulting in you breathing out a sound between a whine of pain and a moan of pleasure.

He smiles at your reaction. "Keep grinding Y/N please felt s'perfect" he begs. You continue to grind against him moaning at how hard he was under the layers of fabric.

You could feel yourself getting slightly wet at the feeling. Harry still holding onto your waist pulls you closer taking you into a very heated makeout session. Tasting the sour flavour off Harry's lips was giving you all the motivation to keep grinding.

At this point your both grinding against eachother your hands are tangled in his hair. His ringed fingers clawing at your back. Your both complelty enjoying eachother until the car stops. The small green light near the dividing window lights up, indicating you have arrived.

You waste no time in pulling Harry inside the house. Passionately nipping at his neck leaving several love bites that will surely be all over the news the next few days. Stopping at every corner, wall or landing up the way to your shared bedroom. Every stop removing another piece of clothing from each other.

Until you finally reach the bedroom, leaving you in your bra and panties, and Harry in only his boxers and loose hanging tie.

"Lay on the bed arms up" you command at Harry. He does as he is told, he lays on the dark red wine colored bedsheets, lifting his arms up to the bed frame. You open the bottom bedside table drawer pulling out the metal handcuffs. Harry blushes knowing tonight is going to be long, but enjoyable.

You take one of the cuffs placing his wrist into it clasping it closed not too tight but tight enough. The wrapping the chain around the bedframe and doing the same to his other wrist. He was completely stuck there until you where to unlock him.

"Well hello there" you say rubbing his cock through his now very tight black boxers. You teasingly climb on to the bed inbetween his flat spread legs. His perfect green eyes never leave you. Your rubbing on him gets stronger earning a groan out of his perfect pink lips.

"Oh look at this" you say pulling off his boxers. His cock springs free standing straight up. "Look at how perfectly hard you are H" you lightly pull his cock to one side and let go watching it swing then stand straight up again. He groans again, "Y/N do somthing. Anything please,I need you."

You wrap your fingers around his cock, admiring how your small hand barley wraps around his cock. The veins that run up the sides of his cock, each and every bump and ridge. Every perfect detail turned you on, feeling the wetness soaking your panties. You decided against what's left of your clothing. You remove them sliding each peice off seductively.

You climb on top of him , rubbing your wet folds along his cock. His breathing hitches at the contact. "Y/N C'mon please do somthing" he begs. You give in, sliding into his cock all the way. His throat releases a low growl-like moan. "Fuckin 'ell, so tight babe" he groans out.

You use his chest to help you bounce up and down, placing your hands just below his collarbone bird tattoos. Your both moaning at the speed, Harry helps you by thrusting lightly up into you. Letting you do most of the work for now. You start picking up speed more going much faster. You moan at the sound of your asking hitting eachother.

"Y/N you feel amazing." He says closing his eyes as pleasure waves over him. You lean forward and unlock his cuffs. You want him fucking you.

As soon as his hands are free, he takes your hips in his hands with a very tight grip as he thrusts into you hard. "Oh Harry. Faster please. I'm getting close baby" you yell through various moans. He reaches towards your clit, rubbing fast circles helping you through your orgasm.

"Shit.... That was hot babe" he says laying you down on the bed. He places your legs on his shoulders as he slides his cock back in your leaking cunt. "Oh fuck, Harry. That feels great. You feel so big right now" you moan arching your back. "You feel incredible at this angle Y/N your little cunt is squeezing my cock so well." He says thrusting deeper and deeper into you.

He leans down to get even deeper into you, your legs still on his shoulders. His thrusts faster and faster, as you feel the warmth deep in your lower stomach growing. "Harry I'm close baby" you warn. "Mm'to baby, together? " He asks. You nod feeling the tingly feeling get stronger.

"..3..." He kisses you, his thrusts getting very sloppy but still hitting every place you need.

"..2.." he rubs your clit harder making circles.

"..1.. cum babe. I'm cumming".

You both help eachother ride out your orgasms. Both panting lying next to each other. "Happy birthday H" you say kissing his nose. You watch that perfect smile grow on his face. "Thank you darling" he kisses your cheek as you both drift off to sleep.

[strawberryspeachy]

I have so many time periods in my life that were fucking miserable (my whole life so lol) but most of them im like

Man. I wish i could go back with the knowledge i have now and change shit

But my senior year of college still takes the cake. I would not repeat that fucking year given the chance. I legit for real am npt exaggerating at all when i say I HAVE NO IDEA HOW I GRADUATED. What strength i had. How did i do it??

I lost all of my friends. I lived with girls who made me feel worse about myself. My classes were super difficult and busy. My mom had finally admitted to me that she knew she was forgetting things.

I BECAME bulimic. That wasnt something i did before that year. Bulimic to the point where if i ate more than one peice or bread i felt guilty. Sometimes i coild rationalize to myself that i ate a healthy and appropriate meal but after 20 minutes id start panicking. That i HAD TO go throw it up. I HAD TO. if i didnt id regret it so i hadddd toooo

I didnt eat some days

And it went beyond the point of. All i have is my skinny body. It went to i hate myself and my life and i deserve to suffer. I dont deserve food. If i keep doing this maybe my body will fuck up enough that i die.

And speaking of death. It was the first time i fully tried to kill myself. I played with the idea before. Id do risky things on the off chance that id die doing it. Sometimes risky enough that i was surprised i even did it and got really scared afterwards thinking about ever doing them again. But id never made a plan. Got materials. And tried and fell asleep thinking id really never wake up. And i did it a couple times. And honestly i think i killed a part of me that year.

I cried all the time. I was just a zombie with a painted smile on my face so i could get help in class from other people. But i never actually smiled. And the second i walked in my room id start crying. All that bottled up energy released. And there was too much.

I used to fall out of my chair cause i was crying so much and id just roll around on the floor and then yell at myself to get my ass back in the chair and to keep studying. And i did. And id keep crying. And i kept studying.

And i took adderal several times a week. It wasnt even working. But it had a crack effect on me and would make me really happy and optimistic for no reason

I dont remember ever feeling confident in my studys. I walked into every exam terrifyed.

I was scared the entire year that i was gonna fail.

I was so out of it that i didnt even notice the stress permanently altered my apperance. Eveyone said i grew up. No the stress aged me. I didnt notice my hair fell out or how my chin seemed to grow. Or how my skin greyed

Theres no way to make thay year better. That was an awful year.

I have no point in this.

Just like that year and the two following it... which... issss 2014-2015-2016 to 2017

Like id completed three years of college. I had to graduate. I couldnt get out of that with a clear mind. And then coming home. None of my friends lived at home. I couldnt find a job. I took what i could get. I couldnt leave home. I had to stay for my mom. I had to and i wanted to.

Im thinking about it cause i could have immediately came to japan out of college. And i knew it then. I chose not to. I wanted to go home and be with my mom. And my family made that a nightmare. And watching her and taking care of her while she went downhill... i dont think ill be able to face those feelings... for many years to come. (I mean hopefilly not if i died while writing this id be happy) but theres really no getting around the fact that having completed my finance degree in college. My only choice was to end up as a server

My 13 year old dog died. My 18 year old cat died. My mom was shitting all over the house and refusing to sleep or eat. The woman who i hated so much that i went to work early and smiled while offering to stay later because “at least im not at home” finally died.

One day she told me she was gonna kick me out of the house (for the zillionth time) she screamed and yelled at me. And i went to work. And i came home and she was standing outside of the front door. I thought about continuing to drive and coming back later when shed moved. But for whatever reason i stopped and got out still hoping shed be gone by the time i walked up. She wasnt. She didnt even notice i was there. I was tempted to walk past her and go in. But i didnt. I asked her what was wrong. She said she could take the step to the sidewalk. And i helped her. And she rambled to me about how she thought shed be stuck there all night and how she didnt know what was wrong. The last time i saw her she had been screaming at me about how im a worthless spoiled lazy rude mean old adult acting like a baby. So. I really didnt have much sympathy to give her. I couldnt even talk. I was still mad. She thanked me. I said she was welcome. Thats all i remember. That was about 3 months before she died. If i went back to that exact moment knowing that information. I honestly dont think id change anything... she was.... so mean... so needlessly mean... im still mad about every time i was mad at her

Unlike my mom. Who i dreamed about this week. I had a dream that i was home just living my regular life in high school. And i did something. And my mom was yelling at me. And we got into an argument. Just one of those nonsense arguments that dont mean much. And in my dream i was like ugh my moms so annoying. And i woke up. And i miss her so much. What i wouldnt do to listen to my mom yell at me about something like taking too long to get ready. Or putting something in the wrong place. Or forgetting to do some chore she asked me to do. My mom with her fully functioning brain yelling at me because ive inconvenienced some plan that she has made for hersef that day. Thats shes fully capable of doing herself. And will do no matter what anyone says cause you dont mess with her schedule - you work with it.

I actually woke up and smiled. When you grow up do you ever think youll think about your parent full blown going off on you about something kinda dumb would ever make you smile...

Anyhow... that boy at work i like. I tried to be cute. He said he texts his friends back when he wants to when i pestered him about having not responded to my mesage. I was like

Oh thats the second time youve called me your friend! :) were friends :D

I just wanted a chuckle and for him to say yea yea were friends

But instead.... he said no. Were coworkers.

And i said you can be friends with your coworkers

Which led to a super long.... turned into argument...

Where he told me no. He doesnt need more friends. He only talks to me because he has to. He doesnt like me. He doesnt want to talk to me. He doesnt like when he has to talk to me. He has plenty of time to hang out with friends but not me cause im not his friend and he does not want to hang out with me. Dont ask him questions. Dont talk to him for more than a minute. He only said yes to hanging out with me because i was new to the country. His girlfriend didnt want him to and he decided he didnt want to after thinking about it. He wont change his mind. And he got really mad while telling me that his dumbass gf gets mad when i text him. And that he doesnt wanna talk to me out of work and at work only about work nothing else.

Most of that was unprovoked information. Like.. a quarter of it came from my “so were friends?” Remark. Another quarter of it came from my “coworkers can become friends” remark. And given half of it.... i brought up that he liked talking to me enough that he said he wanted to hang out with me - so you fan guess what quarter of the information came from that... oh sorry did i say quarters. I guess i meant thirds.

Extra shitty cause its a big jump from the boy who was engaging in actual conversation with me yesterday and moved so close to me that he was cms away from resting his head on me shoulder. Many times. Actually over the past couple days.

[lostboylefty]

Old but still holds true....fuck your opinion

I'm going to post something i wrote. And its got a lot of meaning for me. So if you read it, read it all and if it makes you feel a certain type of way then you should probably stop following my wall. Things are changing around here and the first order of buisness is honesty. Communication isnt something i am good at but writing apparently comes a little easier. I got to start somewhere no better place than here. I love you regardless of whether or not you feel the same about me. This is my path and im going to own the fuuck out of it. No longer care who sees my vulnerabilities or insecurities. My wall used to be locked up tight but know its public so the whole world can see the fucks i dont give for your opinion of me...... Here i go again Lord, livin in sin List so long i dont know where to begin Sometimes it seems like my only friend Is this paper and a couple of pens. How did I get here and why wont you just get to the end..... Dying ever so slowly my brains out to get me Put me in a box that i created only thing manifested is pain and misery Why did it have to be this way, why cant i find the words to say, why did i chose this life and what would it of looked like if i really tried yesterday? See you cant return something that you havent paid for Just like you cant transmit what you dont have anymore Pens flowing, minds going, thoughts are racing and everyone is pacing. As everyone is watching wondering when this insanity is going to end Im sitting over here like whens my life going to begin....... When am i going to drop this bag of resentment and self hatred and walk away? when am i going to grow some balls and say everything i need to say? How is it that im afraid to dream when my imagination is all i have it seems. And even though I apologise for it all in my dreams, my reality proves that im just another peice of shit dude coming apart at the seems. See ive always been told life is what you make it, lift your head up, see the beauty and know your what God created But if this is what God intended than i tell you now I'm quite offended that he wasted the time he did Its pretty dark when you sit here wishing you would of died from sids. Let me stop right there because thats not the truth. The truth is not everything is up to Him, sometimes its up to you. See he gives us free will to see what well do. And it never fails I take it, light it on fire and walk away, shrug my shoulders pack my bags and create another dragon to slay. And although i have always cared in every situation, my mind is always against me. Im trapped in this insanity......... so damn coach why the fuck wont you bench me. Lets wipe the slate clean and start a new, but you cant because tomorrow's already here and you will still be you. So i keep praying for all this to end, please lord dont let me keep hurting all the people I chose to call friends. Please let me see the light and finally grasp ahold of something that I can be proud of Let my family see that their boy grew up and finally became a man instead of what i see; the little boy impersonating me and wasting such untapped and raw possibility Let my friends know that there isn't a night that goes by that i dont wish i could be the person I was intended And I have moments when all i do is try But it never fails it always ends with me being defriended and the ones i love thinking it was intended. But its what i deserve, how could i even begin to get offended. So I pray for them everyday, I hope they know that it was never anything against them. Reach their hearts and minds let the sunshine in. Let them know that im sorry for the way i am and im trying as hard as i can To fight these demons i carry with me everyday. Its a battle that i will more than likely win but i just might be standing on my own in the end. But i guess i would rather stand alone in my authenticity than have a thousand friends who unfortunately get fucked over by the dude that pretends to be me. Honestly and with all sincerity I pray That you show up and show out in my life today. Enter my heart truly and make the guy in my mind go away. Because it seems that You are the only one that can make that happen, so im ready Lord please come give me that much needed spiritual bitch slapping. The only thing beautiful about this lostboy im afraid Is the desire to be the boy who strayed Away from the desperation to die And just be willing to give it a try. Its gotta be better than a life stuck living a lie. I know im worth it to you, see....., i want to believe that too......