#im suffering yalll

[bbq-potato-chip]

unpopular opinion takasugi is boring esp after the shogun assasination arc im sorry i just dont like him

[images-that-are-only-cursed]

I'm very sorry for the inactivity guys, it's been a harsh work week, I'm working 18 hours as we speak, while very sick with something that looks a LOT like COVID. I'll try to post/add to queue when I get a moment of time.

And yes, wish for COVID, bc my boss is a genuine asshole and would make me work regardless

[zerogravityinq]

Webtoon reading list: Tachiyomi

So here is a screenshot of all the manhwa I am following. Most have an official release which either I am following and paying for and just reading here because the fan translation is past it or I decided, for whatever reason, to not financially support a story so I read it on another platform.

So here is a list with the fan name listed first and thoughts. Under a cut because this will be long. If you want me to explain acronyms, DM me.

Webtoons I am reading

A Red Knight Does Not Blindly Follow Money/The Red Knight Seeks No Reward - A great balance of action and romance and remorseful MC who is trying to right what went wrong. Also the art isn't like crazy beautiful or ugly - it flows with the story and does not distract from it. Just got picked up by tapas but the fan translation [by BCK] is waaaaay further.

Beatrice - its problematic as fuck but the art is so pretty. Not licensed. IS fan translates this.

Happy Ending For The Time Limited Villainess/The Villainess' Days Are Numbered - my stupid ass....didn't read this at first because I didn't like the art. But now, its one of my top faves - funny and touching at times. I like it so much. Its on Tapas and fan translated by OMA.

I Became The Wife Of The Male Lead/Author Of My Own Destiny - Abel best Daddy. Tapas just got this and BCK translates.

I Was Here From The Beginning - this is new and its kinda shit but updates are quick. Translated by DBR

Into The Light Once Again - Good art, good story, I know some [idiots] are not thrilled about the ML but fuck yall. This my ride or die. Picked up by tapas [name is the same] and translated by PO2.

Im the stepmother but my daughter is just too cute/Not Sew Wicked Stepmother - This is both funny and a punch to the gut. Great art and a fun read. The fan version is further. Also has a novel on amazon in english - look for the fan name. On Tapas and translated by LS

Justice for the Villainess - great art and good political intrigue. Suffers quite a bit from same face syndrome but has a strong plot so I am willing to overlock it. On Manta, no more fan translations.

The Emperor Reverses Time - I could make a whole side post about this [and I should] and it is worth it - dark, cute, and gorgeous art that doesn't overwhelm the story. Why the fuck this isn't licensed is fucking beyond me. Translated by IS.

Secret Lady - I feel like the art for this is way too strong for this plot but I think its still good either way. Nice little supernatural mystery story with a bit of funny sprinkled in. Was translated by Saving Your Toochies but they disbanded last month. On Tapas - fan and official name is the same.

The Princess Double Life - Don't let the main plot of a con woman transmigrating fool you - shit is DARK. I thought it would be ha ha funny con woman leading an idiot by the nose but no...no.... Art is great tho. Relatively new release. Not licensed, translated by DHC

The Time of the Terminally Ill Extra - yall.....yalll.....read this. Its pretty, its great, it handles abuse SO WELL, and the ML is the bestest of bois. Read this shit. Relatively new, not licensed. Translation by AS.

The Villainess Needs A Tyrant/The Villainess Needs Her Tyrant - I feel like this is a slightly more coherent version of The Villainess Becomes the Leading Lady or like My Fiance is In Love With My Little Sister but slightly less tragic. Great art and I like that she knows her bae is a tyrant but likes that about him lmao. Great art but the hairlines are sus. On Tapas and translated by SS and LS.

The Wolf The Picked Something Up - started as animals and now its humans and cute. one of the few chinese comics I read. The translator is being a bit annoying atm but whatever sis. Good art and nice short stories that are funny and heartwarming. I feel healed by this. Not licensed to my knowledge. Translated by GW

Under The Oak Tree - this is so good. like bitch. Its so good. A little problematic at the start but now....these baes. On Manta, no fan translations.

Recording Hall/Viridescent Crown/The Viridescent Tiara - I like this one quite a bit. Some shy away because the assumed incest [when something like Lady Devil exists which is literally twincest but I digress] but the art is nice and the plot is pretty tight. I think this is the best done 'Author transmigrated into her own work' type story in the genre. Fantranslated by SS and on Tapas officially

What It Means To Be You - yo....yo....if you are sensitive to abuse and suicide....don't read this. Just don't. Save yourself. If you aren't - this is a good read. Winter is an exercise in frustration and why are you so stupid but as a veteran of the yaoi genre, he's no worse than say Eri Yuki in Gravitation or Usagi in Junjou Romantica. This is setting the bar subterranean but at the very least, Winter isn't a rapist [yaoi keeps the bar low and grabs a shovel to start digging. Kids these days know nothing about the predecessors to dokuyuusei and yuri on ice. Everything was rape back then and that was all we had] This is MTL by some shitty group but is on Tapas.

So this isn't a complete list. There are some on hiatus and some I don't have a tachiyomi version of but I will get to those next post

Happy Reading!

[sweet-xoxo-thatcares]

I ripped up my pop-up laundry basket because I was so pissed that somebody or even the delivery stole my 2 boxes of pizza and the cheese bread off of our front porch and I paid dominos $30 for it.

I had to call them to see if he dropped it off at the wrong house or just didn't pay attention. Cause I came downstairs to check at 4:55 and nothing was there, then I went back outside at 5:00, still nothing....opposite to what my dominos tracker said.

And I bought this fucking pizza to make my day because I was so tired, depressed, and sick of being reminded of Jay while watching porn, changing videos that it made me cry because of how she used to sexually reject in the middle of us having sex and then would tell Ayunna to do my work just because I made one mistake or just really wanted to just sit there and watch. I don't understand what made her so non-interactive with me sexually even though she was the one who always initiated. And she acted like she hated the idea of me even touching in any kind of way without her permission, but it was okay if she touched me innappropiately or harassed me at their place?

She's a sicko, a sicko psycho.

And mom, not even giving a fuck that someone stole the food I was finna share pissed me off even further. She goes, "well, at least it will help you save money. You don't need to be buying no food anyway."

Bitch stfu.

And then Dominos actually thinking I'm the one lying about this. We've ordered food and bought pizza from them for years and this is the 1st time that we've ever got our delivery food stolen. Like wtffffff.

And mom knows good and damn well if I would have said that to her if one of her Amazon Packages got stolen, she would have cussed me out or told me to shut up.

She so fucking rude and I really don't wanna move out to no bummy ass looking apartment when I move out, just because the prices are so fucking in the area I'm trying to move into.

I don't wanna move to a different city with the same issue? Bitch if somebody steal anything from me, packages, mail, food, I pop the fuck off and mom was so nonchalant and passive about it, even when I asked her to check the ring camera to see if anyone took it.

It don't add up to me how there was barely anyone outside and the one day I order pizza because I feel unhappy, I get this fucking news and that bitches mouth.

Dominos gave me partial money back and kept the $4 tip. I'm still pissed because I don't believe or understand how can my food get stolen less than 5 min from what it said on the app, unless he arrived earlier than what it said 🤔

And nobody told me what time he came. He didn't even ask me was I alright. Talking about "well believe you this time. But we're not coming back."

Like WTFFF I GOT MY PIZZA TOOK AND NOW YOU WANNA BE A SMARTASS ABOUT ME STILL EVEN WANTING TO ORDER MORE

FUCK YOU, FUCK MOMS SARCASTIC, EGOMANIAC MOUTH, FUCK THIS HOUSE, FUCK THIS NEIGHBORHOOD, AND FUCK THIS PTSD THAT STOPS ME FROM ENJOYING PORN AND EVERYTHING ELSE IN BETWEEN.

IM TIRED OF THIS FUCKING JOB MARKET THATS SO DAMN CRITICAL IN JOB EXPERIENCE AND PROGRAMS.

BITCH IF I GOT 6YRS EXPERIENCE AND I GOT MY BACHELOR’S WTFFFFF IS GOING ON IN HR

THEY ACT LIKE 6YRS AINT WORTH SHIT IF YOU DONT HAVE EXACTLY TO THE FUCKING T OF WHAT THEY'RE LOOKING FOR.

AND MOM AND DAD THINKS ITS SO FUCKING EASY FOR ME TO JUST APPLY AND WAIT FOR ANOTHER FUCKING JOB, ONLY FOR THEIR PRIVILEGED, SUPPRESSING, CORPORATE ASSES TO TELL ME NO.

IVE BEEN WAITTTTTING SINCE JANNUUUUUUAAAARRRRRYYYYYYYT MMMMMMFFFFFFFFFFF

SO HOW THE FUCK YOU SAY I CAN JUST APPLY HERE AND THERE AND EVERYWHERE IN FUCKING WACKED OUT MICHIGAN WITHOUT SOMEBODY SAYING "WE FOUND BETTER, QUALIFIED CANDIDATES"

Like as if my own life history on this fucking resume doesn't mean shit to them. Makes me think I went to school and did dual enrollment to get out quicker, for nothing 🙃

Wtf is wrong with this world. It's exactly why I say fuck Michigan economy. Now I gotta work factory just to even save up for a car, rent is high af, student loans finna come find my ass, and I don't have a girlfriend because I'm trying to wait till I have an affordable apartment and a car that won't break down on me on the highway in the middle of us driving to Vancouver.

Driving school is only $500. But in order for me to save up for a car, I gotta stay in a $600 or less place cause otherwise imma have to wait a whole entire year to save up for a car, the insurance, gas, and the maintenance costs by the end of next year...so no...fuck that.

With this fucking salary, I'm basically feel like shit because my own fucking friend who's middle class and actually stayed longer to get her masters after I graduated....is already banking a better job, work from home, and I hate complaining to Her about my worries.

And she's the one that inspired me to even go back for the masters. Because they treat you like secondhand condom shit just for having a Bachelor’s. Like it ain't good enough no more. Then when you try to apply to places for the experience that you needed to work another job that denied you, you still get denied by them too because they said your major doesn't match and why you wanna work here if you studied this?

CAUSE YALLL AINT GOT NO JOBS FOR WTF I STUDIED STOP READING FUCKING EVERYTHING SUSAN. I AINT GOT TIME TO EVEN ARGUE WITH YOU ABOUT THAT

it's like they really don't care in the 1st place, they just wanna know if you qualify and half the time I be lying about why I wAnNA wOrK hErE because yall cats read into people shit and judge them for just trying to make a living just to even have a place to stay and eat healthy food so a bitch can find better partners than the fuckbois and users on tinder.

I'm soooooo damn tired of being judged, mocked, criticized, and being rejected. And then the past mocking me about old rejections that I'm still waiiiiittttttiiingggggg for me to heal from. A year or nor, my heart still feels like it's January, thinking about everything and why did I block Jay when they reached out?

I was afraid that she would have just lied to me again, pushed me away even harder because I had already left, and then blocked me after. When I'm the one who chose to leave, I'm the one who is hurt, why did they always make it seem like my pain came last to their pain. Like it was always about serving them, doing what they said, what they wanted just because they were the couple, and took over every God Damn thing, and kept pushing me away, neglecting my emotions, manipulating and etc.

I don't even wanna talk about the same shit that happened anymore. But my brain does, my heart does. Because I remember everything. My heart can't make the pain go away, but I'm tired of hurting. I'm tired of crying about it and I hate that people in this house can trigger my actions to tear up shit, scream at the top of my lungs like a damn scarecrow on DragonBall Z, I'm tired of mom triggering me to think she hates my actions and the way that I think say or do something she doesn't agree about or care about, so she comments on everything little thing she despises.

When I'm already struggling to be happy. She does not give a fuck. And I bet if I told her I was feeling suicidal holding that wire from the laundry basket in my hand, feeling manic so I strangled my palms, my knuckles, and squeezed the crap out of that wire hoping it would make me forget about ripping up that piece of shit hamper, and make the irritation, that need to strangle somebody, something to make this itch go away to attack my mother with my words and tell her TO HURT HER OWN GOD DAMN FEELINGS INSTEAD OF KEEP HURTING MINE, YOU ARROGANT, COCKY ASS SON OF A BITCH AND I HATE YOU FOR WHAT YOU DO TO ME. PIERCING IN MY FUCKING BACK, THE DRY ASS, PETTY ASS RESPONSES TO WHEN IM GOING THROUGH SHIT.

BUT LET ME SAY ONE LITTLE THING ABOUT YOU OR EVEN TALK ABOUT GRANDMA YO ASS ACT LIKE I JUST SINNED AND CURSED YO NAME OUT.

SO YOU GET A HISSY FIT AND TELL ME STOP TALKING OR TO SHUT UP.

QUIT TELLING ME TO SHUT UP HOE

I HAVE NO PLACE TO GO BUT HERE AND IM NOT FINNA SUFFER THROUGH THIS BY MYSELF. IM BUYING ME SOME FUCKING PIZZA AND YOU WILL NOT DRIVE MY ASS CRAZY AGAIN.

I'm sick of the ptsd episodes and I'm sick of waiting on other people to give me what I need, so if she got something to say about it, imma let her fucking have it. Cause I'm sick and tired of holding my mouth for her, and her ordering me to shut up, while she gets to sat however she fucking feels about each and little she feels the need to pick at.

Let her country, dumbass catch this heat. Imma bounce it right back to her and she ain't gonna like it. And I don't care if she wants me to just tolerate it anymore, she gon end up dead in her heart too if ever tried to kill me like she did that night in March. She showed no mercy, no remorse, and no she had not stood by her promise to make our relationship work as mother and daughter. She just said that so she didn't have to feel like a dick for her own daughter leaving her out the picture by going to her other mother, the one who understood her sensitivities and actually listened to my needs.

And that was Grandma Clara Jamison.

I hate to say it but, God why? Why did both of my grandma's have to fade. My other grandma don't even remember who I am. And If I talk to my own mom, about her mom, and say that she won't care to comfort me at all. She'll just angry that I made her feel bad because of my emotional response.

So I don't tell her anything. Cause my mom reminds me of how the terrible twins responded to me about being too sensitive, too emotional, to where they even blocked me and abandoned me. Made me suffer alone.

Just like my own mother is doing now, and it's driving my ass crazy. That she's them. Not my ex, but a narcissistic asshole, the bipolar freak who flips out and I can't come to her when I'm in pain, sadness, depression, or grief, anger even.

Because she ridicules me for having a strong feeling about something that doesn't matter. So she talks shit, goes away, or pushes me away when I try telling her in my most vulnerable state.

Which is when I'm crying or about to cry. I can't even come to my own mother about giving up and moving away to the mountains or a cabin or just committing suicide with pain pills. But she doesn't think about that. She doesn't think that her constant neglecting me, is showing me, I can't trust her.

And that's exactly how I did Jay, and walked away.

I'm there for you, but you're not there for me?

I'm out.

And I'm tired of just giving and getting hurt in return because you don't care about the situation that I'm in, nor do you care to listen.

So don't get all I'm ready to come whoop yo.ass or call the police on me again, just because I didn't answer my phone. You hurt me momma, repeatedly and you show out every so.often and I'm tired of getting disappointed and crying by myself because you don't come check on me when I isolate myself from you in the house. My back hurts everytime she does that, cause she triggers a memory that I can't forget.

I could have hit my head, got a concussion, or even broke my neck if I didn't catch my fall and pushed you back, because you decides that night Kylee doesn't get to talk. You came at me yelling and pushing and thought that I would just take that fall down those metal basement steps for you and that everything would go back to normal the next day?

Like that fight you had with Dad just last week where you punched him in his nose, screaming and cussing at him over you being in pain and him not showing you enough care. So you hit him anyway, then he puts you in chokehold and me and my sisters are supposed to just forget that anything happened???

We have to process all the crazy, toxic shit yall do to us or in front of us BY OURRRSEELLLVESSSS

My lil sister is 18 and was trying to stop a 6'1 grown man from beating yo.ass up. And on top of that, the same grown man was pushing me back too on my own chest.

But we're supposed to just go back to normal, assemble the stage, make yall two feel happy after yall so called talked it our when literally 3 days ago, yall slept in different places, dad at his dead moms house in grand Rapids, you at a hotel.room for a different night, and him on the couch after he came back.

Whyyy the fuck are yall so damn passive about this shit, but if I bring it up or even ask about Grandma, my ass get handed to.

He's not fine. Yall are not okay. It shouldn't be imma put my hands on you just because you pissed me off and you're supposed to love me tomorrow, no matter how much I scar you or hurt your face.

Like brainwashing, forced brainwashing to accept that shit is okay. as long as i never say anything about it, I'm not in trouble or receive neglect.

Yall are the most manipulative people I ever met. And Dominos I want my $4 back too mf. Tip should come back too.

[vitaminhwang]

i hope you suffer tag

THANK YOU FOR TAGGING ME SAM @supersaiyum im a changed person & i have more trust issues thank u

Firsts

First group you listened to: exo wow my exo days.... it feels...so long ago im???

First solo artist you listened to: lee hi or taeyeon 

First group to actually know their names: exo..... yall remember showtime.... i have tears 

First song to make you emotional: playground - got7 esp remembering how much they cried for that fan project ;-;

TOP 3

Top 3 fave male groups: bts, sf9.......these days....its been astro i legit spent days on this... this question was the reason i didn’t post this right away sidhasod 

Top 3 fave female groups: blackpink, loona, gfriend

Top 3 fave solo artists: sewoon, taeyeon, leehi 

Top 3 songs of all time: as of right now... honeymoon - bap, pied piper - bts, im the one - mxm day6′s songs tho oh my god one of these songs is gon get replaced soon sihdsof

Top 3 biases: taehyung, hwi, hoshi 

Top 3 fandoms you're apart of: army, fantasy, aroha.... this was the other one oh my god

Top 3 choreographies: again - astro sbs gayo dejun dance practice - monsta x (noah fence but im offended this doesn’t have 1 mil views yet???? plus this was one of the videos that made me rlly fall into mx) burn it up - wanna one esp at woojin & lin’s rap oh my god

ULTIMATE 

Ultimate bias group: bts 

Ultimate male bias: taehyung 

Ultimate female bias: jisoo

i’m tagging: @parkswoojin @ggtanon @seungjoonssmile @imeightout @ongwu @starbins @velvetjjks @minwnh @myunghoshi if you want to!!

[looselucy]

Okay okay okay but why does my baby keep suffering :(((( also I miss Ren and H together so much, I hope they find their way back to each other. Also I think shits going to go down when H finds out he hurt her. YALLL IM NERVOUS, it’s almost to the end :/ loved the chapter as always, thanks Luce!!

I MISS THEM TOGETHER TOOOOOOO! Like I just wanna write them kissing and cuddling and declaring their love for each other. They seriously love each other so much I am in pain.Thanks for leaving some thoughts. Big love xxxxxxxxx