#im tired and its that stupid wintertime bone tired again. except now doesnt just feel like im drifting through my daily routine
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curtains
#tw vent#tw sui#alright with that out of the way.#i have two friends in the psych hospital right now.#what a fucking world huh?#both just turned 18.#it does make a girl feel a little worse about feeling worse....#funny how that works . isnt it#UGH im just. i genuinely am so finished with everything. i dont care about graduating! i dont!!!#i dont have any concrete aspirations besides something that i cannot possibly achieve until 2030.#im tired and its that stupid wintertime bone tired again. except now doesnt just feel like im drifting through my daily routine#there are PEOPLE MISSING. GONE.#and i cant even begin to be there for the rest of my friends god knows#and on top of the world collapsing in its everything in gaza and everything in my immediate family and everything with everyone else#and i want to scream all the time and im not even hydrated enough to be crying so i cant do that and theres too much happening#i don't have time for this i need to get back on track i need to fix it#i just dont know how!!!!!! i cant even think about it!!!!!!#and on top of all of this because of fucking course theres more#i have to 'give it to god'. thats what every single person has said to me today.#what a fucking joke ! give it to god! stop being worried or sad or stressed!!! make someone up and pretend its their problem!!!!#i will fall apart and it will be soon. there is no unless.#ugh. sorry just . the world is so so bad right now and i genuinely cannot see it getting better at all ever.#america is going to hell everyone is dying or trying to die and i am not going to graduate
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