#im trusting my mutuals to just shove it on my dash if it happens

[mejomonster]

Someone tell me if Picard and q bang

Or kiss

[wannawrite]

I Miss You

Monsta X’s I.M X Reader Angst, angsty til the end Word count: 2025 • based off their song ‘Miss You’ ( i almost cried im so sensitive ) but from reader’s POV • sAD VERY SAD • buT I LOVE IT JDSHSKD CONFLICTED im emo don’t touch me but thank you for requesting anon, i suppose a little angst never hurt anyone ;) hope you like it ITS A crINGY MESS BTW GOODNESS - admin L __________ //We need time, in a maze trapped with emotions.// When was the last time you saw Changkyun’s face? You didn’t know. How many nights have you spent alone, longing for your boyfriend? You had lost count. Was there an incident where he had called you after he arrived? Yes, once. It was a hurricane of emotions, all tossed and turned, intertwined. Wrapped up in sorrows, they clouded your head, blurring your vision and trapping your thoughts. It was like a jigsaw puzzle that refused to be fixed, you seemed like a blind man searching for sticks. How much time had you given him? Maybe he needed more. //You’re unable to escape, and only comfort me.// Some days, you found yourself worrying for him. You wondered how he was fairing, how he was being treated. Whether he was eating and sleeping well. You forced yourself back into the past, reminiscing about the times he was a source of hope, a source of happiness, a source of comfort for you. He was your pillar of support. Did he crumble and fall? //Leave behind all the words about it being our last, I’m more persistent than you think.// “Y/N, we never say goodbye okay? It’s always see you soon,” Changkyun had declared, locking his pinky with yours in a promise. “How could I ever leave you? I’d never let you go, jagi.” He leaned forward a pressed a kiss to your forehead, embracing you close to his chest at the same time. Then, you smiled. Promises are the lies you want to keep. ( this is for dramatisation purposes only ) You learned that the hard way. It hurt your heart to think about it. To think about all the promises you made, the promises he made. What were they to you now? Did he even fight for your relationship? Then again, did you? //Girl, I’m standing in this post, I miss you and thank you, I want to kiss you// You chuckled in disbelief, shaking your head at all the empty words and silly pledges. Changkyun always insisted his success was because of his constant support, partially true but you knew it was due to his hard work. He was living his dream, doing what he wanted to do, it would be selfish of you if you stopped him yet a part of you wished you did. Missing him was inevitable, you couldn’t  avoid that one no matter how hard you tried. //Where are you right now? Do you know that I’m looking for you like this?// Your gaze met the clear blue sky dotted with fluffy white clouds, not a single storm cloud in sight. The mild sunlight danced on your skin, kissing it tenderly as you basked in the sun. Your back resting on the blanket that covered the lush green grass, it brought you great sense of tranquility. Where could he be? You pondered, eyes closed in a relaxed mode. We used to do this all the time, could we be looking up at the same sky? Changkyun, if only I could tell you how much I miss you but I’d never be able to put it in words. Do you sense me? I’m still waiting for you as much as my heart wants me to. //When I miss you. When I’m sick, you already know, baby.// Not even the universe could keep secrets from the two of you. It was like it was meant to be, knowing even those notes in bottles thrown into the sea. Not meant for anyone in particular but someone floated to you. In your heart - you guessed - there it grew. The relationship was built on trust and knowledge, both could sense if the other had an aura of trouble or discomfort. To an extent it was invading and rude, but it was a factor that helped set the mood. //Where you at right now? Leaving behind my face that waits for you.// Rain or shine, snow or fall, he’d be there, waiting for you. Changkyun was there without fail, standing by your school gate still in his own uniform. On occasion, he held onto a fancy bouquet of flowers or a paper bag containing a small gift for you. You could recall his lips curving into an excited grin and if he was too impatient for you to exit the school, he’d walk up to you despite how different his uniform looked. The exact angle of his jaw, how his hair flopped and covered half his face when he laughed at a stupid joke. Changkyun let you trace his face before, you remembered every curve or indent of his features, how smooth and flawless his skin was. You reassured him that you loved him even with his flaws. It had been a year. Where was that all now? It was just a distant memory of the past. Where was he now? You couldn’t answer. Who was he waiting for now? That thought plagued your mind for there was no definite answer. //How could you leave me, baby? My baby, I miss you// There was no denying at a point in time, he was your boyfriend. There was no lying that you thought he would be your last. How could you leave all you had built up over a span of four years? It seemed impossible. But nothing ever is. You ended on good terms, you would tell yourself. There was a mutual agreement. It was a big lie. No one wanted the split but you forced it to happen. It was for the best, you told yourself. We could have celebrated our fifth year together today but no, it’s only me blowing out candles on the cake. Why do I still miss you even though my head tells me not to? It doesn’t make sense how it tricks me into loving you. I hope you have moved on and I know I should too but I don’t think I will ever stop missing you. … //Whenever I close my eyes, I think of you. Even stars in the night sky seem like you.// Sleep could not be an easy feat. Tossing restlessly in the sheets, I told myself that I was fine, that you were not worth the whine. When I couldn’t sleep, I looked at the stars, wondering how they shone from so far. They made me think of you, contrasting a blue. Then sometimes, I’d admire them until the sun awoke, a constant beckoning not to mope. Still, maybe once or probably twice, my pillow would be damp with tears and I’d wake up to one cold side of the bed, the sense of longing stabbing at my heart, glaring in my face like a tasty strawberry tart. I guess as much as stars seemed like you, there were some differences too. They kept me company on long lonely nights. //I’m missing you like crazy. Like a young child who had lost their mum// It drove you mad. You were confused, lost in the twisted web with no exit in sight. You supposed it was life and you had to learn but it seemed harder to let go the more you yearned. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down but to no avail. The tears still fell, in sync with the raindrops that pattered outside. You were glad you decided to spend the remainder of the day at home, your sobbing was an unforgiving sight. However, Changkyun always cradled you each time you cried, dashing away your tears and whispering soft lullabies. He said you were gorgeous no matter how appalling your exterior looked when you wailed. Who knew he was such a good fibber? You hated his lies and his reassuring words but if you could hear them once more, you would do so in a heartbeat. //You who shined on me and gave warmth like a sun. I can’t see anything ahead, where are you?// Your road was blocked. You weren’t sure why. Perhaps it was the same reason for that sigh. He always complimented your skin, blessed by the sunlight and shining within. It made you feel like you were the light in his life. But it couldn’t be, for there were always things more meaningful than thee. This tangled mess of emotions left you dazed so you prayed and prayed, God, please take them away. Where are you? How far have you run? Are you just a fragment of my imagination? Those thoughts hurt but they couldn’t kill. It would be over soon, you reassured. //Stepping on all those painful memories, please light up those glittering days again// The memories in one jar were cheerful and bright, leaving no room for darkness or obstruction of sight. The other contained upsetting and dismal things, those swept under the carpet for good reason. You wanted to relive good all days when everything was all horseplay. No rules, no rights, no fear of being left behind. He’s chasing his dream, you wanted that too but you wanted his dream to be you. Changkyun morphed from your dream to your nightmare. He was like the rain during sunshine, bittersweet. You missed him. You just wondered if you had even crossed his mind. A tear fell from your glossy eyes, it rolled down your cheek and landed on the sleeve of your shirt. You wanted those days back but they were gone forever. Still, those memories were engrained in your memory forever. Everything around you still screamed his presence, it was like an insult you would  love you receive. Changkyun, you hated when we argued and I’m sorry i offended you. Let’s not live in this tangled web of emotions, I can’t keep living like this. You stripped your wall of polaroids, those with smiles, kisses and love. His hoodies were shoved to the very back of the closet, you promised you would send them back to him one day but for now, they would have to bite the dust. After you had rid your room with the obvious traces of him, you stepped outside your house. The fresh scent of freedom welcomed you, accompanied by the feeling of wind brushing through your hair. It was blissful, it was calm. So, you wandered along the edges of the neighbourhood near the park. You felt someone glaring lasers into your back but refused to turn around. It wasn’t Changkyun. Why? Because he stood in front of you, with a group of boys you had never seen in your life before. They were well dressed and had prettily dyed hair, assistants and stylists rushing to attend to their every need. Changkyun was living his dream. As much as you wanted to turn and run into his arms, the force you applied was much stronger. You ignored him, ignored his stare, oblivious to the world around you. You walked away. All this time when you wondered where he was, he was right by you. Every time you called for him, he nearly reached your side. Without knowing where to go, you would have sunk down but this time, your mind was clear. As much as you missed him and even though you still loved him, you had to let him go. I.M, I’m sorry. I miss you but will let you go. The polaroid that you once treasured and kept in your wallet bent and floated with the wind as it left your grasp, tears raining down your cheeks. A part of you hurt to let it go but missing him anymore was a big no-no. … “Hyung, wait! I think I stepped on-” I.M couldn’t finish his sentence, he picked up the polaroid with shaking hands. His eyebrows narrowed in confusion, guilt and sadness stabbed at his conscience. Sighing, he tucked it into the pocket of his jeans, running after his hyungs as if nothing had happened. He bit back tears which only fell onto his pillow much later at night, holding on to an ex love with all his might. Y/N, I miss you too but I will let you go.

[divineoath-a]

Mun Comfort Zone

repost, don’t reblog!

a valuable meme for any roleplayer! come display your comfort levels so your roleplay partners are aware of what they can do, and of what they should avoid! a healthy relationship between role-play partners is the key to a good time! while this meme shows the basics, please remember to communicate with your roleplay partners!

KEY:

bold italics: fuck yes! bold: yes. normal: sometimes/conditional. italics: ask me about it. strike: no.

tagged by: Stole it off my dash tagging: Anyone that would like to do it!

ROLEPLAY BASICS

LOCATIONS i am comfortable doing:

tumblr email kik, IM, discord google docs skype forum other

PARTICIPANTS i am comfortable with:

one on one role plays. up to three people. up to four people. five or more people! as big as possible!

POST LENGTH

i usually write about:

one or two sentences. one or two paragraphs. two to five paragraphs. (250-500 words) more than five paragraphs. (500-1000 words)  a few pages worth.

(( So basically I generally try to match what my partner does. It depends on dynamic, muse for the thread, my partner’s respond, and type of thread for length. I go off of my partner a lot. ))

i am comfortable role-playing with people who write:

one or two sentences. one or two paragraphs. two to five paragraphs. more than five paragraphs. a few pages worth.

ROLE-PLAY REQUESTS

i like getting requests from:

anyone and everyone at any time! when i ask for roleplays. from friends and acquaintances. ( Mutuals only ) from friends only.

ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS

important: communication is the key to a real life relationship, it shouldn’t be abandoned for a fictional one either! be sure to talk to your partners when considering romance.

SHIPPING i am comfortable shipping my characters:

never. if our characters know each other deeply. if our characters know each other deeply, and i know i can trust the role-player. at the first sign of flirting! only if the role-player and i plan it.   it depends on the character.  

(( I’m always open to shipping as long as its not forced, pedophilia, incest, etc.))

if you want to ship with my characters:

talk to me about it from the start. (( If you’re interested in that right away ))  talk to me about it once our characters know each other. talk to me about it once they both have some feelings for each other. talk to me about it when they finally decide that want to go beyond hugging.

SPEED

when shipping my characters, i like the romance to happen:

swift as lightning! fast, but not super fast. happens in about three months. slow and steady wins the race. slugs know what’s up! my relationships know no speed. they happen if they happen.

SMUT when my characters get intimate, i prefer:

to skip the act entirely.  to write the build up, but skip the act.    to write the act only if it is very special, but otherwise, skip it.  to write the act all the way through.

ROMANTIC ARTWORK when it comes to artwork depicting our relationship please:

do not post it at all without talking to me. post it if it is cuddles and hugs. post it if it is kisses. post it if it is n.sfw. only post it if it depicts n.sfw privately between us. do not post it at all if it depicts sexual acts! Muns personal addition, you can add or delete

This is your art, do what you want with it but a head up is still appreciated

DRAMATICS

important: always be sure to communicate with your partner individually if you think you are about to go outside their comfort zones even just the slightest bit!

VIOLENCE when it comes to violent situations, i am comfortable with:

no violence at all! i’m fine with verbal arguments! some violence, like a paper cut, or an accidental elbow to the face. mild violence, such as punching, kicking, hair pulling. violence, such as stabbings. beyond violence, such as torture and more.

(( I’m absolutely fine depicting all violence, HOWEVER I do ask we discuss stuff prior if there are going to be serious injuries, a decision of who the victor is, and if it’s a torture scene we discuss a lot in IMs to make sure we’re both still comfortable ))

if you are going to do something violent, please:

don’t do it at all. talk to me about it first. surprise me! (( only if it’s something minor ))

AUTO-MOVING when it comes to moving/touching my character without asking me first, i am comfortable with:

non-violent, non-intimate touches, like a tap on the shoulder. intimate touches, like hair or face stroking. mildly aggressive touches, like grabbing my character’s arm or pushing them out of the way. highly aggressive touches, like shoving and non-damaging hitting. violence that will not permanently damage my character. violence that may permanently damage my character. extreme violence, such as torture. you may kill my character without asking.

DRAMATIC ARTWORK:

do not post any dramatic scenes that happened between our characters. talk to me about it before posting! post what you like!

[sootopolitangrace-blog]

MUN COMFORT ZONE

Repost, don’t reblog!

A valuable meme for any roleplayer! come display your comfort levels so your roleplay partners are aware of what they can do, and of what they should avoid! a healthy relationship between role-play partners is the key to a good time!

While this meme shows the basics, please remember to communicate with your roleplay partners!

Key:

bold italics: fuck yes! bold: yes. normal: sometimes/conditional. italics: ask me about it. strike: no.

stolen from: A Certain Person Told Me To. tagging: Hey, take these memes, kid.

Roleplay basics:

Locations

I am comfortable doing:

tumblr

email

kik, im, discord

google docs

skype

forum

other

participants

I am comfortable with:

one on one role plays.

up to three people.

up to four people.

five or more people!

as big as possible!

Post length

I usually write about:

one or two sentences. (Only for Dash Commentary/Crack)

one or two paragraphs.

two to five paragraphs. (250-500 words)

more than five paragraphs. (500-1000 words)

a few pages worth.

I am comfortable role-playing with people who write:

one or two sentences. (Only for Dash Commentary/Crack)

one or two paragraphs.

two to five paragraphs.

more than five paragraphs.

a few pages worth.

Role-play requests

I like getting requests from:

anyone and everyone at any time! (Mutuals Only, However.)

when i ask for roleplays.

from friends and acquaintances.

from friends only.

Romantic relationships

Important: communication is the key to a real life relationship, it shouldn’t be abandoned for a fictional one either! be sure to talk to your partners when considering romance.

Shipping

I am comfortable shipping my characters:

never.

if our characters know each other deeply.

if our characters know each other deeply, and i know i can trust the role-player.  

at the first sign of flirting!

only if the role-player and i plan it.

it depends on the character.

If you want to ship with my characters:

talk to me about it from the start.

talk to me about it once our characters know each other.

talk to me about it once they both have some feelings for each other.

talk to me about it when they finally decide that want to go beyond hugging.

Speed

When shipping my characters, i like the romance to happen:

swift as lightning!

fast, but not super fast.

happens in about three months.

slow and steady wins the race.

slugs know what’s up! (gimme that slow burn)

my relationships know no speed. they happen if they happen.

Smut

When my characters get intimate, i prefer:

to skip the act entirely.

to write the build up, but skip the act.

to write the act only if it is very special, but otherwise, skip it. (Any NSFW will be in private, not on the blog.)

to write the act all the way through. (Selective of this. Likely will be done in private.)

Romantic artwork

When it comes to artwork depicting our relationship please:

do not post it at all without talking to me.

post it if it is cuddles and hugs.

post it if it is kisses.

post it if it is nsfw.

only post it if it depicts nsfw privately between us.

do not post it at all if it depicts sexual acts!

Dramatics

Important: always be sure to communicate with your partner individually if you think you are about to go outside their comfort zones even just the slightest bit!

Violence

When it comes to violent situations, i am comfortable with:

no violence at all!

i’m fine with verbal arguments!

some violence, like a paper cut, or an accidental elbow to the face.

mild violence, such as punching, kicking, hair pulling.

violence, such as stabbings.

beyond violence, such as torture and more.

If you are going to do something violent, please:

don’t do it at all.

talk to me about it first. (Approach me and we will plot it out.)

surprise me!

auto-moving

When it comes to moving/touching my character without asking me first, i am comfortable with:

non-violent, non-intimate touches, like a tap on the shoulder.

intimate touches, like hair or face stroking. (iffy.)

mildly aggressive touches, like grabbing my character’s arm or pushing them out of the way.  (Expect the character to not be pleased, however.)

highly aggressive touches, like shoving and non-damaging hitting. (Expect the character to not be pleased, however.)

violence that will not permanently damage my character.

violence that may permanently damage my character.

extreme violence, such as torture.

you may kill my character without asking.

dramatic artwork:

do not post any dramatic scenes that that happened between our characters.

talk to me about it before posting!

post what you like! (I’d rather know before hand, but if you don’t remember I’ll live.)

[ancientunspokencode-blog]

MUN COMFORT ZONE

Repost, don’t reblog!

A valuable meme for any roleplayer! come display your comfort levels so your roleplay partners are aware of what they can do, and of what they should avoid! a healthy relationship between role-play partners is the key to a good time!

While this meme shows the basics, please remember to communicate with your roleplay partners!

Key:

bold italics: fuck yes! bold: yes. normal: sometimes/conditional. italics: ask me about it. strike: no.

stolen from: A Certain Person Told Me To. tagging: Hey, take these memes, kid.

Roleplay basics

Locations

I am comfortable doing:

tumblr

email

kik, im, discord

google docs

skype

forum

other

participants

I am comfortable with:

one on one role plays.

up to three people.

up to four people.

five or more people!

as big as possible!

Post length

I usually write about:

one or two sentences. (Only for Dash Commentary/Crack)

one or two paragraphs.

two to five paragraphs. (250-500 words)

more than five paragraphs. (500-1000 words)

a few pages worth.

I am comfortable role-playing with people who write:

one or two sentences. (Only for Dash Commentary/Crack)

one or two paragraphs.

two to five paragraphs.

more than five paragraphs.

a few pages worth.

Role-play requests

I like getting requests from:

anyone and everyone at any time! (Mutuals Only, However.)

when i ask for roleplays.

from friends and acquaintances.

from friends only.

Romantic relationships

Important: communication is the key to a real life relationship, it shouldn’t be abandoned for a fictional one either! be sure to talk to your partners when considering romance.

Shipping

I am comfortable shipping my characters:

never.

if our characters know each other deeply.

if our characters know each other deeply, and i know i can trust the role-player.  

at the first sign of flirting!

only if the role-player and i plan it.

it depends on the character.

If you want to ship with my characters:

talk to me about it from the start.

talk to me about it once our characters know each other.

talk to me about it once they both have some feelings for each other.

talk to me about it when they finally decide that want to go beyond hugging.

Speed

When shipping my characters, i like the romance to happen:

swift as lightning!

fast, but not super fast.

happens in about three months.

slow and steady wins the race.

slugs know what’s up! (gimme that slow burn)

my relationships know no speed. they happen if they happen.

Smut

When my characters get intimate, i prefer:

to skip the act entirely.

to write the build up, but skip the act.

to write the act only if it is very special, but otherwise, skip it. (Any NSFW will be in private, not on the blog.)

to write the act all the way through. (Selective of this. Likely will be done in private.)

Romantic artwork

When it comes to artwork depicting our relationship please:

do not post it at all without talking to me.

post it if it is cuddles and hugs.

post it if it is kisses.

post it if it is nsfw.

only post it if it depicts nsfw privately between us.

do not post it at all if it depicts sexual acts!

Dramatics

Important: always be sure to communicate with your partner individually if you think you are about to go outside their comfort zones even just the slightest bit!

Violence

When it comes to violent situations, i am comfortable with:

no violence at all!

i’m fine with verbal arguments!

some violence, like a paper cut, or an accidental elbow to the face.

mild violence, such as punching, kicking, hair pulling.

violence, such as stabbings.

beyond violence, such as torture and more.

If you are going to do something violent, please:

don’t do it at all.

talk to me about it first. (Approach me and we will plot it out.)

surprise me!

auto-moving

When it comes to moving/touching my character without asking me first, i am comfortable with:

non-violent, non-intimate touches, like a tap on the shoulder.

intimate touches, like hair or face stroking. (iffy.)

mildly aggressive touches, like grabbing my character’s arm or pushing them out of the way.  (Expect the character to not be pleased, however.)

highly aggressive touches, like shoving and non-damaging hitting. (Expect the character to not be pleased, however.)

violence that will not permanently damage my character.

violence that may permanently damage my character.

extreme violence, such as torture.

you may kill my character without asking.

dramatic artwork:

do not post any dramatic scenes that that happened between our characters.

talk to me about it before posting!

post what you like! (I’d rather know before hand, but if you don’t remember I’ll live.)

[johtoxelitexwill-blog]

MUN COMFORT ZONE

Repost, don’t reblog!

A valuable meme for any roleplayer! come display your comfort levels so your roleplay partners are aware of what they can do, and of what they should avoid! a healthy relationship between role-play partners is the key to a good time!

While this meme shows the basics, please remember to communicate with your roleplay partners!

Key:

bold italics: fuck yes! bold: yes. normal: sometimes/conditional. italics: ask me about it. strike: no.

stolen from: A Certain Person Told Me To. tagging: Hey, take these memes, kid.

Roleplay basics

Locations

I am comfortable doing:

tumblr

email

kik, im, discord

google docs

skype

forum

other

participants

I am comfortable with:

one on one role plays.

up to three people.

up to four people.

five or more people!

as big as possible!

Post length

I usually write about:

one or two sentences. (Only for Dash Commentary/Crack)

one or two paragraphs.

two to five paragraphs. (250-500 words)

more than five paragraphs. (500-1000 words)

a few pages worth.

I am comfortable role-playing with people who write:

one or two sentences. (Only for Dash Commentary/Crack)

one or two paragraphs.

two to five paragraphs.

more than five paragraphs.

a few pages worth.

Role-play requests

I like getting requests from:

anyone and everyone at any time! (Mutuals Only, However.)

when i ask for roleplays.

from friends and acquaintances.

from friends only.

Romantic relationships

Important: communication is the key to a real life relationship, it shouldn’t be abandoned for a fictional one either! be sure to talk to your partners when considering romance.

Shipping

I am comfortable shipping my characters:

never.

if our characters know each other deeply.

if our characters know each other deeply, and i know i can trust the role-player.  

at the first sign of flirting!

only if the role-player and i plan it.

it depends on the character.

If you want to ship with my characters:

talk to me about it from the start.

talk to me about it once our characters know each other.

talk to me about it once they both have some feelings for each other.

talk to me about it when they finally decide that want to go beyond hugging.

Speed

When shipping my characters, i like the romance to happen:

swift as lightning!

fast, but not super fast.

happens in about three months.

slow and steady wins the race.

slugs know what’s up! (gimme that slow burn)

my relationships know no speed. they happen if they happen.

Smut

When my characters get intimate, i prefer:

to skip the act entirely.

to write the build up, but skip the act.

to write the act only if it is very special, but otherwise, skip it. (Any NSFW will be in private, not on the blog.)

to write the act all the way through. (Selective of this. Likely will be done in private.)

Romantic artwork

When it comes to artwork depicting our relationship please:

do not post it at all without talking to me.

post it if it is cuddles and hugs.

post it if it is kisses.

post it if it is nsfw.

only post it if it depicts nsfw privately between us.

do not post it at all if it depicts sexual acts!

Dramatics

Important: always be sure to communicate with your partner individually if you think you are about to go outside their comfort zones even just the slightest bit!

Violence

When it comes to violent situations, i am comfortable with:

no violence at all!

i’m fine with verbal arguments!

some violence, like a paper cut, or an accidental elbow to the face.

mild violence, such as punching, kicking, hair pulling.

violence, such as stabbings.

beyond violence, such as torture and more.

If you are going to do something violent, please:

don’t do it at all.

talk to me about it first. (Approach me and we will plot it out.)

surprise me!

auto-moving

When it comes to moving/touching my character without asking me first, i am comfortable with:

non-violent, non-intimate touches, like a tap on the shoulder.

intimate touches, like hair or face stroking. (iffy.)

mildly aggressive touches, like grabbing my character’s arm or pushing them out of the way.  (Expect the character to not be pleased, however.)

highly aggressive touches, like shoving and non-damaging hitting. (Expect the character to not be pleased, however.)

violence that will not permanently damage my character.

violence that may permanently damage my character.

extreme violence, such as torture.

you may kill my character without asking.

dramatic artwork:

do not post any dramatic scenes that that happened between our characters.

talk to me about it before posting!

post what you like! (I’d rather know before hand, but if you don’t remember I’ll live.)