#im trying to trick myself
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no longer hate my stats module because my stats module coordinator sounds a lot like lars pinfield and i know the ghostbusters majored in psychology and would have loved SPSS
#im trying to trick myself#reverse psychology perhaps#help i hate my degree#uuuuuuuuughhh#live laugh lars pinfield#mangobango
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It felt like i was tearing myself apart with my own hands
It hurts
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@keferon ‘s tragic blorbo
(Tumblr ate quality so click for better view :D)
I have another variant let me know your favorite please :)) under the cut
#transformers#maccadam#spellbound#spellbound au#mythological universe#senator shockwave#shockwave#my poor poor Senator……#I tried to lock in for this one ! found some cool tricks#like the texture#hi !#im alive Im just#I’ll be more uh#free idk#more ‘haha Im going to do that because why not#and not trying to enslave myself with my own expectations#i will be more slow maybe#or more fast but on things I chose#I mean already like I’m doing right now but I’ll try to feel better about it#anyway SHOCKWAVE#AAAAAH#drawing him is incredibke#incredible
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#starscream#macaddam#megatron#im a one trick pony. my only trick is drawing starscream and gun megs#me and my bro watched tf1 yesterday and we left pissed off.#im still assmad#no spoiler ofc. thats all. ill explain when the last country gets to see it. im mad but not for the reason you might think haha#its just that it reminded me of myself.#also yeaaaaaaaaah i simplified all the shapes to try to learn how to draw. you lieky? i like#no detail. just blocks#im gonna learn shading one day idk how to make the colors un- dull#im using layers and modes for the first time in my life and i dont get it#and god bless gunpla#its perfect for general pose refs
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#im trying to trick myself into being productive#you gotta use your interests to motivate yourself yknow#keyframes#keyframes vn#keyframes fanart#perseus tozaki#jas doodles
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had such a terribly awful day from start to finish yesterday but i am snuggling my sugu plushie and drinking warm milk like a domesticated cat and the sun is shining ……. today will be a little better
#manifesting 👽 manifesting 👽 ….#. alien was the closest i could get to like . antenna signals#idk#my mind is still a mess and i still feel like an unlovable wreck but like#i know itll pass . and thats enough for now#i think i need to unlearn whatever makes me feel so . annoying and awful when i show the slightest hint of venting on dash#bc internalizing that always just makes me feel worse. and my brain tricks me into thinking no one cares or comparing myself to other -#people and the comfort they receive …. that needs to end lmao#like actually#i will not make myself or other people feel miserable just bc im in pms hell . thats not happening#:’) i am trying to be . i dont know. emotionally put together even when ive been crying nonstop since last night pdjdkdj#and i am proud of myself for that despite it all#at the end of the day i have warm milk and my sugu and that is enough#ari noises ✩#cw vent#…… using that tag still makes me feel ashamed but ill work on it lmao#anyway good morning dash . i hope the sun peeks out for you today; or that the moonlight is kissing your skin very softly
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how do you go about drawing the heftier skeleton body types so nicely? i want to draw bigger skellies but im not sure how to go about it!
I'm so sorry this is a bit late, but I hope it still helps in some way!
I heavily focus on the shapes as a foundation for my boys. I reference a lot of body types and anatomy! If you're looking to draw bigger skellies, I recommend finding a body type you like and studying what defines it; it doesn't have to be realistic (that can be a bit overwhelming) but finding a style you like and learning that way is much easier and is a simpler form.
For me, I like wide shoulders and large, comfy bellies--aka, the wonderful dad bod <3. So that' where my major shapes will be defined; I like to focus on points like the collar bone to help me build on the ribcages, and if I draw ecto, that tells me where the pecs should be, abdominal "muscles" and other lovable folds!
Most of the time, my guys are clothed, so I don't have to worry about bones. ;3
Everyone's interpretation for skellies is different, but the one thing that is universal, imo, is the use of shapes! That's where you want to start off and know that I'm encouraging you and rooting for you! <3
#cay talks#cays tips#i'm not an expert#but im always willin to lend a hand!#i believe in you#make those hot hefty skellies#you got this#<3#if you got tips/tricks/suggestions please reblog this and add it in!#I can learn something to ya know#teehee <3#its so early#i stayed up trying to figure out how to explain this without second guessing myself ough
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more rakan
#yea not apologizing im not even remotely sorry#i was trying to figure his face out#im trying to trick myself into thinking he's Fun and Easy To Draw#rakan#league of legends#league of legends art#rakan fanart#my art
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11 pm again and i spent my evening trying to draw but ending up deleting like 5 attempts again and i just want to cry
cant even get upset anymore, i just sit here looking at the wasted time and just kinda going 'yeah ... what did i expect' and the tears are already back :I
#ganondoodles talks#im tired of disappointing everyone#whatever high i once rode from all the zelda fanart i have done has long ran out#i feel like im trying to drive without tires for the past half a year#theres so much in my head but its just stuck there#everytime i think about something cool i know i cant just talk about it bc no one cares about yet another shitty text post#i need art to back my rambling up#and i WANT to have art to back it up not just bc more will care#but bc i want it to be there as art#im sorry these complaint posts keep happening instead of anything good#im on a losing streak record against myself#im also tired as fuck making these posts#i know the only thing it does is annoy people#i just cant keep it all to myself and nothing else is working#even when i think i did soemthing away from the pc or completely offline#as soon as i return- even if im really motivated- it only lasts for like .. one attempt#and im back at the bottom#trying every bit of tricks and advice i can find and it all ends the same#... i guess making these posts doesnt matter anyway- with twitters and my downfall im sure i lost like the majority of goodwill#not even trying to be all sorry for myself#wish i could throw away my brain
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Currently stuck drawing his head in only one direction atm lol :/



#the sketch is practice for a piece I wanna make#but I really dk how I wanna stylise Shadow’s wings lmao#tbh I’m struggling to find a style I wanna draw HIM let alone his wings#art#my art#fanart#sketch#kinda wip#shadow the hedgehog#shadow the hedghog fanart#sth#sth fanart#I’m trying to force myself to draw more causally#as im a trad artist its impossible to perfect so trying to trick my brain to just roll with it#idk if it’s working
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listen I just can’t find fault with a candy person for finding something that unexpectedly brings them joy and doing everything in their power to make it keep happening. I just can’t find it in me to blame them for wanting the approval of the person they love and respect more than anyone else, and wanting that approval over and over again, and I just straight up can’t blame james for figuring out a trick to make his princess smile and call him her hero. like, banana guards get her praise and approval and hugs all the time, but he’s just some random engineer with an easy smile and no one who wants to hang out with him after work. and she likes him so much, she wants him in her kingdom, even when he goes and does something stupid like push her out of the way of a super dangerous not-moving car, at the cost of his own life, she wants him back and she’ll bring him back and she'll tell him that was very brave and she loves him. of course she loves him. she loves all the candy people. but he figured out how to make her look him in the eyes and say it and give him material evidence of her pride. I can’t find it in myself to blame him for that. it wasn't good, i don't think he should have been left unchecked to keep going forever, but i can't blame him for wanting to keep reliving the nice thing that happened once. the really nice thing that happened once that came with material gifts. if she didn’t want to keep doing it she would’ve stopped LONG before there were TWENTY FIVE of them. before she was so fed up that she didn’t even spare him a kind goodbye or a chance to go home one more time.
like you’re not beating the dystopian dictatorship allegations. saying she was right to exile him from the only home he’s ever known with no recourse because he was acting weird. and the thing is, I just can’t find it in me to blame a character living in a dictatorship for getting himself into a situation because he was desperately trying to be happy the best way he could figure out how. I’m not saying he was right, he’s insane, but it just rubs me wrong, the idea that he is the one holding all this heavy blame. the idea that the princess is right to look down at him and shake her head firmly and turn him out in the cold. for chasing the rush that she gave him willingly, over and over, without any specific end parameters. for not being able to make friends, and doing something weird about it. he’s bored and lonely and this works and it’s not, inherently, bad. it really isn’t. it’s batshit, but it’s actually not hurting anyone at all.
#in case im not being clear. because i dont know. this is about james adventuretime.#and like. he is literally no weirder than any other candy person#i cant justify this freak (affectionate) but i also simply cannot blame him for this. imagine youre a guy in the Happy All The Time kingdom#and its goofyhappy but youre bone-numbingly bored and lonely and no one will hang out with you. youre 30 something.#wouldnt it be nice if you just had some people who Get you. well. enter This One Weird Trick. with a side of Princess Calls You A Hero.#like mann id do it all the time too dude. i dont see why pb can withhold her grace+forgiveness for checks notes. him being a lonely weirdo#who freaked out (HE DIED. HORRIFICALLY. UNEXPECTEDLY.) and found a way to ask her for friends indirectly.#is it wrong to be a weird little candy guy living in a dictatorship trying your best#like come on. sure hes not DOING RIGHT. it was WEIRD! but i CANT FIND IT IN MYSELF to BLAME HIM. that's what im here to say.#i will never find fault with him for literally just tricking her into making clones of himself so hed have friends to eat with in his home#im not sorry i mildly enjoy character on tv. candy people no.1 defender.#o#he doesnt seem to need much. like. its not like he was this extravagant strain on resources. if he was she would have noticed#ok ill stop. for now. might be back. i had a HORRIFIC discord rant#and? if he really had been dying? we wouldnt be having this conversation. we'd be saying man that is tragic. get him therapy.#but instead we are talking about whether he should APOLOGIZE for taking up space in his own tiny apartment tht he decided to share.#thats what annoyed me. among other thigns. but that bit. that she has a nebulous apology waiting for her and neednt accept#thats. insane. what did he do. not die. fake save her life. not realize heroism can branch out to other folks besides his princess.#bad things but not Obviously Unforgivable things that deserved EXILE!#adventure time#for my own search purpose just in case. I think that’s low enough in tags it won’t go into main tag.maybe not. whatever
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okay time to make a spreadsheet for the halsey tour lets go thanks for the practice taylor but the real important one starts now
(if yall are gumpy about song choices and use this to be mean and grumpy to halsey i will revoke access just as an fyi)
#i say that because everyone was tracking the taylor one and as far as i know not as many are tracking this one#but i shall have it ready within the day <3 outfits ; songs ; all the fun stuff that could change recorded for archival purposes#and for fun#halsey#for my last trick tour#so sorry if someones already doing this i do just love a spreadsheet and im trying to make myself feel better <3#also ill make it publicly viewable dont worry friends#does anyone know what font the poster is in so i can match it#okay some of it may take me a bit of time to get worked on but it will be posted within 24 hours
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i feel as though the people around me aren't understanding what i mean when i say i want a life of luxury. yes, i want the nice things and expensive things and rare things, but even more than that i want to be seen as a thing of luxury. i want to be placed on a pedestal and considered untouchable. i want people to stumble over the words and fail to make eye contact because they know im nothing like them. i want to feed off devotion.
#self obsession#obsession#obslove#actually obsessive#obsessive love#obsessive thoughts#platonic obsession#romantic obsession#paraphile safe#paraphiles please interact#pro paraphile#pro para#paraphilia#npd#actually npd#npd traits#actually narcissistic#narcissus#mdni#| i fear anyone who doesnt actually know me wont realize this blog and the act of self obsession / self worship im trying to engage in is#more about tricking myself into loving and taking care of myself again than it is about genuinely believing im above the rest of the world.#i am self centered and concieted at times and even more so when experiencing delusions of grandeur but thats only like a quarter to a third#of whats happening on this blog.
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hhhhh
#sth#sonic the hedgehog#miles tails prower#tails the fox#messy tails doodle rn is all ur getting from me#im useless for anything else#trying to get more comfortable leaving shit more messy#i dont understand why i cant just do that normally#its how i always get tricked into doing line art#then i dont draw as much as i want#'lemme just clean this up'#<- the line art demons talking#its so hard for me to draw anything but a full body too#cus im already imagining the full pose it looks weird if i stop#hhhhh kneecaping myself#spend all day wanting to draw still dont draw till like 1 am#sogjndjns how the fuck do people think of something to do and just sit down and and DO it#dunkinsart
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"am i actually intensely cringe and failing to communicate with people on any level or is it just the moon" we just don't know but I'm going to take it easy and try to find some self indulgent way to spend my Sunday instead of worrying about how I am perceived
#it's tarnishing everything from my work relationships to my shitposting this is probably just my body playing tricks on my brain#it's time to go outside when i start overthinking whether people online Understand Me and Like Me or Not#unfortunately i have been KO'd but I'm trying to lure myself outside with the idea of ramen#hapo rambles#personal hapo#i go back and forth like on the one hand i draw things that make people go what#but then on the other hand i have four degrees i can do what i want#but on the other other hand i want the weird people with degrees to not think im cringe while preaching about being cringe unironically#all a sign that i need to go dunk myself in the ocean touching grass is not enough
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Understandably So no one mentions charles when talking about the Logan movie and again Understandably So This Aint Bout Him however i do confess that as someone who had never seen Logan until like. a month ago when i was binging all the movies and without knowing a single thing about it aside from laura i cant lie i was in fact jumpscared by him being there. especially for at least like 3/4s of the movie
#xmen#logan movie#snap chats#i be ramblin today hello ...#it was a pleasant jumpscare. yk until he died. after realizing he committed atrocities by accident 😭😭💀 OLD MAN NOOO#but no please LIKE I READ THE DESCRIPTION WHEN GOING TO WATCH RIGHT#AND I WAS JUST THINKING 'oh he'll probably be here for like twenty minutes. wdym he's here for way longer than that'#i THINK years ago i REMEMBER seeing a screenshot of the hotel bit with laura and charles but again that was years ago#and i might be tricking myself maybe its a false memory jealvvelka either way i just know they were cute :(#point is he was here for. i cant even say So Little cause again He Was Here For An Hour And Thirty Minutes Out Of Two Hours#and lets be clear 'snap has your brain molded that much you know exactly how much screen time charles gets in the movies'#girl no not yet i only know exactly when he punches his clock cause i had to keep restarting the movie cause it kept pausing vjAELKAJE#and it just so happened to struggle literally like. ten minutes after he dies- like when logan was dealing with x24 THAT part#so rude for that.. anyway I Repeat i miss charles and laura bein cute :(#it wasnt a lot but it was just sweet.. i always like how charles always got that Professor in his soul with these movies#like in dofp when logan's losing it after. getting future ptsd jvALKVLAJ??K charles is there to ground him#despite being. Like That vjeaLKj like sir please ily. i will accept the Youre On Acid answer youre trying your best#and then with THIS movie evidently charles is having. the worst time upstairs#but he's still super sweet with laura like oh stop you grandpa im gonna throw up#and to STRESS. they were EVIL about that wholesome dinner bit like :((( oh to see the fam happy and safe again :(((#like im throwing up frankly. people were right this movie IS sad i underestimated their assessment 😭#to lighten the mood in my heart. charles really do be an old man in this movie hes such a menace to logan JELKAK#god. Most Normal X-Men Movie Watcher Focuses On Professor X During The Movie About Logan VEJLKJA#ok im done. sorry i just keep replayin that bit in my head where theyre in the car and logans just 'Did You Take Your Meds SHOW'#like pelase. jaeRLKEaj ok im gonna try drawing i looked at my wall long enough and i think i can draw something
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so like something something horror keeps on not eating as mtt are traveling around and then he ends up either taking a shit hit that incapacitates him for a bit or crashing out around food or becoming really lethargic or just in general passing the fuck out
neither dust nor killer mention it (because why should they its not their business) until it ends up getting them almost killed and now goddamn it horror your refusal to acknowledge your own issues and self hatred and guilt is making all of you now have to deal with it 😒😒😒😒 thanks a lot man,,,,,,
anyways something something horror actually has to start eating now or trying to get better because it would really be nice if they didn't have to keep on lugging him around like a suitcase because he's a glass cannon 🧡 mtt on their way to ignore each other's issues unless it inconveniences them
#this takes place in the same universe as my mtt fic because thats peak triglycercule mtt take#i MAY rewrite my chapters where killer's there 🧡 for peace of mind#but as always horror ideas come first because he's my boy. he's my fellow i am the horror representative afterall#i do have other ideas for killer and dust too but this one was the clearest#killer analysis on its way to take a 4th month to finish are you guys proud of me yet 🧡#also horror is so glass cannon core to me. dust is like a long range distance bombardment like a fucking touhou game#horror hits hard but he's also very easy to knock down. dust has spamming on his side but is easily swayed emotionally#killer??? he's good both defensively and offensively but the issue is the guy relies so much on fuckinf likeeee#brute force and cheap tricks (bc if it works why try improving it) that the guy just has no idea how to actually strategize#mmmm triglycercule youre wrong about killer.....mmm no im not 🧡 horrordust could easily clock his ass hes too used to predicting#killer's just like the human in our regard where fully maxed out stats means you can just tank hits and memorize patterns#but when your enemies have dodging skills and know how to switch up their patterns and also have dirty tricks of their own then what???#anyways will probably write this later once im done with the analysis. ive set a rule upon myself to not do any other projects until itsdon#well also i CANT because everything i want to do requires full mtt and i dont have full mtt if i dont understand killer#tricule rant
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