#im unable to coherently express exactly why it made me so fucking pissed but it has smthn to do w

[voxaris]

do u ever see a post that fills u w extreme rage

[lukeysgirl]

Relentless | Calum Hood Series Pt.7

                                               Part S E V E N

Request: Being the cousin of Ashton Irwin was exciting, especially when invited to their tour to hang out with his best friends. You found yourself becoming fond of Calum Hood, who finds you annoying from your constant appearance. But what would happen if you stopped giving him that attention?

Word Count: 3k+

A/N: 100 notes please, my loves! im so so happy that you love this series and i hope this part gives you a lil somethin to smile about. i promise, calum seems a little better in this part !

Parts: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty. [DONE]  

                                                    I M A G I N E

Outside the Bar, 1:05 A.M. 

Wind blew through your hair, making music in your ears as you were stood outside of the Finnish bar. It was dimly lit, with few people waiting outside to enter the bar. Calum was still holding your wrist with a tight grip, feeling it go numb just by his touch. 

“Y/N, I...” Calum started, but stopped. Even he lacked the words to explain what had just happened. You bit your bottom lip in thought, your brain unable to comprehend what just happened. But slowly, your brain sends out waves of anger throughout your body as you quickly snatched your hand away from his grip. 

“Calum, what the fuck?” You began, looking straight into Calum’s dark, almond eyes as you were fuming. “I don’t fucking understand you, Calum!” 

“Y/N please--” 

“No, fuck you!” You interrupt him, your heart giving everything it has to suppress your anger. Your mind has decided to say the words that you couldn’t say. “You ignore me and call me annoying all the time. You find my presence obnoxious and wished I was away from you at all times. And then, for some wild reason, you have these small cute moments that give me some sort of hope about your feelings. But then that totally goes to shit when you treat me like shit all the time!” 

“Y/N--!” He tries it, but you didn’t let him. 

“No, just stop for a minute and listen to me!” You shouted, silence returning for a brief moment as Calum gulped and let you continue. “Tonight, I found your pick and you were ‘gracious.’ But then you call that annoying and tell me to fuck off tonight. I don’t get it-- I just don’t! So I do as you say and fuck off, but even then, that isn’t good enough for you!” 

Tears began to stream down your face as your hands were now shaking from the anger and nerves you were developing. 

“I was with another celebrity that wasn’t you and you just pulled me away from him!” You screamed, bringing your hands to your chest. Your heart was throbbing, genuine pain being expressed from it as you let your feelings out. “So when I’m around you, you’re annoyed. But if I’m not around you, you’re still annoyed. So what is it, Calum?”

Calum stared at you with a pained expression, his eyes coated with tears you’ve never seen before. You watch as he shoves his hands in his pockets and lets out a shaky sigh. What was he thinking? You thought, looking at his frustration stance.

“Y/N, I’m sorry about this.” Before you knew it, Calum had bent down a little and squished your cheeks together. Immediately, he pressed his lips against yours. You stood there, stunned, as Calum kissed you. His plump lips were soft and gentle, the taste of beer and strawberry entering your mouth as he briefly stuck his tongue in. As much as you wanted to shove him away angrily, you couldn’t. You were in too much disbelief to actually move your bones.  

He pulled away, his lips shining from a bit of saliva. You looked up at him, eyes wide and heart racing. You couldn’t believe him-- you didn’t believe him. Your hand quickly went to your lips, the tips of your fingers touching the lingering feeling of Calum’s lips upon yours. 

“Y-you... you just...” you whispered, but your mind couldn’t form any coherent sentence. It was taking a roller coaster of emotion right now that couldn’t be processed just yet. 

“As much as I want to give you a solid answer, Y/N... I actually can’t,” Calum began, sheepishly shrugging as he broke the gaze. His eyes darted down to the concrete ground before continuing. “I do find you annoying when you’re around... but it’s not from hatred. My heart, for some reason, beats really fast around you and for some reason, it makes me want to just touch you. Not sexually, but just... I don’t know, I want to just touch your skin and have you near me. It’s so annoying to me so I try to make you back off a lot.” 

“B-but at the same time, when you’re away from me, I get so annoyed that you aren’t around.” You look at Calum pause to clear his throat a bit. “I-I don’t really get it, because you’re so annoying but I can’t stand it if you’re away from me. And today, I learned that I get especially annoyed when you’re with another guy.” 

You were taken aback. 

Was he... jealous? He’s annoyed with you because you made him feel... things when you’re around. But when you’re not around, he’s annoyed because of your lack of presence. You were unsure how to process everything, unable to proceed with the conversation. 

“Stop fucking with her feelings, Calum.” 

The two of you turned to your right to see Ashton stood there, his arms crossed with Luke and Michael beside him. While Luke was staring at the two of you seriously, Michael was flushed and giggling a bit. Likely still drunk from how much alcohol he has consumed. 

“Seriously, Cal, you’ve gotta choose something,” Luke said, yawning a bit as his eyelids drooped from exhaustion. Ashton walked over to the two of you, getting in front of you with his back to Calum. Gently, he patted his hand on your head and weaved his fingers in a few strands of hair. 

“Let’s go back to the hotel,” Ashton said firmly, having you nod slightly. 

Hotel, 1:43 A.M.

There was a deafening silence between the five of you as you guys were surrounded and guided by guards. Fans screamed and called out to the boys, but they were too lost in thought to greet them right now. Walking to the suites, Calum decided to break the tension. 

“Y/N, we need to talk--” he tried but Ashton halted him. 

“Don’t fucking say her name,” Ashton spat, placing his hand gently on your back before opening the door to a new suite. Opening it, you saw that your things were already placed inside. “You’re sleeping alone tonight.” 

“But I need to fucking talk to her!” Calum shouted abruptly. “There’s a lot of things we need to discuss and--” 

“Nick told me that you called her vulnerable and that he may take advantage of that,” Ashton said coolly. “And yet you’re trying to do the exact same thing. Go be a hypocrite somewhere else for the night. I need to talk to her, first.” 

With that, Ashton led you inside the suite and locked the door behind him. You walked over to your bed and sat down, grabbing your knees as you looked down in them. You felt like crying again, but you were too tired to do so. Ashton joined you and placed your head on his shoulder. 

“I’m sorry about this,” Ashton said with a sheepish tone. “I didn’t think you’d go through this much over a fixed ‘study abroad’ trip.” 

“It’s alright,” you mumbled. “It’s my fault anyways. My feelings just took over and I couldn’t help but want to be around Calum. It was my fault for letting that happen. I’m sorry.”

“Wah-- what’re you apologizing for?” Ashton exclaimed. “We all have feelings that we can’t exactly contain forever. In my eyes, I don’t think it’s anybody’s fault.” 

“You aren’t mad at Calum?” You asked, shock in your tongue with your eyes widened. 

“Of course not.” Ashton chuckled right after his words. “He’s being a little dum-dum right now, but he doesn’t have bad intentions. I heard that Nick was leaning in to kiss you.” You flushed, pulling away from Ashton to cover your face. 

“I didn’t know why, I was just--!” 

“Hush, it’s alright!” Ashton said with a smile, patting your head. “Calum did well in protecting you, even if he became a hypocrite in doing so. He protected my cousin and I appreciate that.”

“Then why are you acting so angry with him?”

“Ah, to piss him off, of course,” Ashton admitted with a smirk. “He was being a dick to you, so this is his punishment.” You giggled, feeling better from Ashton’s way of making you feel better.

“Thanks, Ash,” you said, giving your cousin a small smile as he nudged your shoulder with his. 

“Now, time to get serious,” Ashton began, his joking tone dissolving into a more stern one. “What happened with Calum before we went to the bar and after when he took you out?” 

As you explained to Ashton what happened, you couldn’t help but think about how Calum was doing. He desperately wanted to exchange words with you, but Ashton didn’t allow it just yet. Calum told you how he felt, and although it was a bit confusing, you now had a fair idea as to how he felt. 

Calum Hood actually likes you. 

“Calum is so confusing, isn’t he?” Ashton says with a fond smile. You nod. staring distantly while taking in Ashton’s words. “Grateful for the pick but annoyed that you went and found it for him? Yeesh, he sure is something.” 

“I was really confused and lost about it,” you humored. “He was apologizing, thanking, and blaming me for everything that he caused. But I’m still a bit lost?”

“Hm?” Ashton turned over and gave you a look of wonder. 

“Why was he so cold immediately right when I joined you guys in London?” You asked. “He didn’t even confuse me, he just gave me the impression that he despised me. But overtime, he loosened up to the point where that seemed like a distant memory and he’s always been this confusing.” 

“Mm.” Ashton hummed, smiling a bit as he looked forward towards the TV in the suite. “I know it shouldn’t be from my lips that you should hear this, but I won’t tell you the entire thing, okay?” You nodded, looking at Ashton with intense curiosity. “He was actually very excited to hear about your arrival.”

“Huh?” 

“Yep!” Ashton said happily with an endearing grin. “But the rest should come from Calum’s lips when you speak to him tomorrow. Get some rest, okay?” As he began to stand up, you quickly got on your stomach and grabbed his hand. He halted, turning around to look down at you obliviously. 

“Where are you going?” You asked quietly. 

“I have to go talk to Calum, of course,” Ashton said with a reassuring smile. “He’s probably flipping his dick out there.” Ashton pointed towards the door. 

“’Out there?’ What do you mean?” Letting go of Ashton’s hand, he went for the door quietly and yanked the door open. Calum was sat outside in a pretzel, his head down before he realized the sudden action. He looked up, widened his eyes at the sight of you and tried to lunge in. 

“Y/N!” Calum called, but Ashton put his leg in the way of the doorway and stopped him. “Y/N please, let’s just a talk--”

“Goodnight, Y/N,” Ashton spoke over him, shutting the door as sounds of the two of them scrambling proceeded. Ashton’s scolding words of ‘move’ and ‘get in our suite’ were heard as Calum pleaded against it. You couldn’t help but blush by Calum’s persistent side. It was charming, almost. 

A yawn then escaped your lips. Your body knew that you were handling way too many drinks and drama that you need to power up tomorrow. Stretching a bit, you rose from the bed, quickly changed into pajamas, and turned off the light. You opened the curtain of your window to let the moonlight in before you melted into your bed and attempted sleep. 

3:25 A.M. 

Why can’t I sleep? 

It’s way past your bedtime and your eyes were still wide as well. Staring at the white ceiling, you couldn’t help but think about everything. The pick, that girl with Calum earlier, Nick Jonas, and...

Calum kissing you.

Your still touched your lips, allowing the very tips of your fingers merely brush upon them while remembering Calum’s lips against them. The taste of beer still recites itself just thinking about that kiss. You were frozen still, and even Calum was motionless as he pressed his lips on your own. Surely, he led the kiss, but even then, you two weren’t even battling for dominance. You didn’t even put up a fight. 

Your thoughts then derailed as you heard voices from a distance. You turned over to look at the window, sensing the voices coming from yonder. Removing the blanket from you, you rose from the bed and onto your feet. Your feet touched the curls of the carpet as goosebumps raced up and down your body from the lack of warmth. Reaching the window, you slowly open it to listened to the voices. 

“You really should try to get some sleep.” Isn’t that Michael’s voice. You peep a bit of your head out the window to look down. You notice the bleached-head beside a black-haired head. Looking more closely, you recognized those raven locks with ease. 

It’s Calum. 

“D’you know how difficult it is to sleep without knowing what’s going on in her head?” Calum said quietly, his hand going near his face to take in... a drag? “It’s stressing me out so much that I just had to smoke again.” 

“Mate, this is your 3rd cigarette this night,” Michael said with a nervous chuckle. “Shouldn’t you at least try to restrain yourself a bit? At least for her sake?”

“I can’t restrain myself because of her sake, Michael!” Calum exclaimed, frustration in his voice as he took a drag and let out the smoke. As you were on the third floor, the smoke went up to you and you took in the strong scent. You never liked the scent of cigarettes, but you could tolerate it this time. 

“Remember years ago when we were still attending school and Ashton took a cigarette from his step dad?” Michael began, having you fondly recall how angry you were with Ashton when he flaunted it. “And Y/N snagged it, cut it in two, and scolded Ashton for just having it?” 

“Yeah, and she was all like, ‘your band will suck if you guys smoke!’” Calum mimicked, having you giggle at how perfect he remembered that moment. “She may have been the youngest of us, but she was-- is the most mature of all of us.” 

“Y/N has always been so smart and motherly,” Michael said as he let out a sigh. “She was always there for us when our parents were off to work and whatnot. Taking care of us and bringing us McDonalds...” 

“She was the best...” Calum mumbled audibly, having you blush as you continued to eavesdrop. “D’you reckon she’ll actually listen to me tomorrow?”

“Of course she will!” Michael, as usual, being the optimistic button in any scenario. “She is the best, after all. Just because you sorta fucked around with her feelings doesn’t mean she won’t listen to you.” 

“H-how do you know?” Calum pondered, turning his head to face Michael as Michael leaned against the wall. He let out a chuckle, one that caused Calum to shove his shoulder. “Hey! Quit laughing and tell me!” 

“Calm down, clam down! I’m just laughing at how obvious the answer is to your question, dumbass!” Michael said, placing both his hands behind his head to lean against the wall with more comfort. “You should be the one who has known it, considering you’ve seen it first hand more than enough times.” 

“Michael, stop being so trivial...” 

“Are you stupid, Calum? It’s because she likes you!” Michael said happily. “Why do you think she hangs around you so much and did whatever she can to make you happy? She stayed back from watching me rock out just to take care of you when you were ill.” 

“W-well that was her choice--”

“But you loved that choice, didn’t you?” Michael teased. “That attention-- turning down everything but you because of her feelings for you. It was just for the attention, right? You keep pulling her in with such little actions when you feel like gravity isn’t pull her down to you as much.” 

“Fuck off, Michael.” Calum growled. 

“Not only that, but you absolutely can’t stand it when she gives that attention to another,” Michael entertained again, having your heart race from his audacious words. “It didn’t matter to you if she was vulnerable. You just didn’t want another man to place his lips on her soft, pink--” 

“Shut up, Michael!” Calum hissed, throwing his cigarette down and stomping it harshly. “You know nothing-- nothing at all!” 

“Then enlighten me,” Michael scoffed, the fun vibe completely dissolving into a sour, cold one. You kept listening though, feeling your stomach churn from the inability to walk away. “Tell me something I don’t know.” 

“Wow, for someone so observant over my actions, you don’t know such an important detail?” Calum said bitterly, proceeded a cold chuckle. “I don’t like her.” Your heart was quick to shatter. You knew this. Everybody knew this. Why is he saying something everybody knows? 

“That’s been the obvious since she came here--” 

“I love her.”

Those three words struck you. Weakly, you’ve decided you’ve heard enough as you closed the window slowly and quietly. You then turned around and allowed your legs to go to jelly. You slide down to your bottom, your back firmly pressed against the wall below the window. As you sat, your heart felt near close as to jump out your chest while your hands couldn’t stop shaking. 

Why was everything going so quickly? 

You rubbed the tips of your fingers from the nerves produced in your mind. Cousins with a famous drummer, touring with a famous band, almost kissing Nick Jonas and then being loved by the person who is immensely annoyed by you. 

“Just what goes in that head of yours, Calum?” You whispered to yourself, thinking about the stupid bass player you’ve loved since you were just a young, stupid teenager. But, hearing this words and your newfound, awestruck state, you were sure that time didn’t change a thing. And now those 3 words he dare uttered will definitely keep you awake. 

“I love her.” 

i really hope this part made you guys flip! please tell me whatcha think here. and again, thank you so much for supporting me through this series and encouraging me to write. it has made me my happiest this past week xx