#in fact it's far from it. outwardly everything i've read from the nineties he refuses to think about or talk about jason at ALL | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

amaraudermind · 1 year

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Anyone else ever thinking about the constant nightmares Dick was having at the beginning of his solo in the nineties(in which he was Robin again and trying to catch a little boy who’s face he could never make out and was always too late) that culminated in the fear gas induced hallucination issue wherein there’s another faceless young boy who eventually introduces himself as Jason

And the dreams were subsequently never brought up again

The closest we got was the hallucination he had in his secret files where he spent the whole time talking to Robin

Because I am. I am thinking about it a lot

#dc #dick grayson #jason todd #the amount that dick blames himself for jason's death while refusing to blame himself for it is astounding.#i think about it so often #because like. he is NOT like 'woe is me if i had only been there this never would've happened' he's not sitting here like #i killed jason. this is my fault.#in fact it's far from it. outwardly everything i've read from the nineties he refuses to think about or talk about jason at ALL #we get these weird isolated moments where the ghost of jason's presence is obviously HERE but even then dick isn't acknowledging it #'there's a boy falling. i never see his face. he's calling out. i never hear what he says.'#'this kid who brings the newspaper is just a kid. i don't know him.'#'i am talking to robin. just robin.'#everywhere you turn dick is surrounded by the idea of jason. he's haunted by him.#but he refuses to see it. he won't let it in #jason is gone and dick can't bring himself to think about it. won't let himself grieve.#lets the guilt he feels about not being around for jason and not knowing about what was going on and not being on the planet #and not letting himself think about the situation or jason at all. lets all of that guilt eat him slowly. lets it fester in his mind #because he can't acknowledge it. but everything he does is because of it

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