#in her messages (i checked it was send before lesson) but she said theres nothing like that so naturally i was a little confused

[mxsmwndr]

Merry Christmas, Darling

Pairing: Modern!Newt x Reader

Summary: Being single is tough sometimes. Friends tease you, family members don't leave you alone, and people flirt with you constantly. It's especially tough when you have a crush on your best friend. Especially when you need him to pretend to be your date to a party.

Terms: (Y/n) is Your Name

Warnings: Nothing too bad. There is a small panic attack towards the end.

A/N: Happy holidays!! This one's dedicated to the wonderful @technolilly! Thank you for all of your requests!! There may or may not be a crush x reader fake date coming soon Bold is texting back and forth, and if you don't have your ears pierced, pretend they're something else! Here's the 'Soft Rock' playlist from this story! I actually have one!! (Cannon that Newt only listens to rock. Alt for if he's feeling pumped/angsty, and classic for the relaxing times/late nights)

Disclaimer: I don't own your or Newt or this idea

"Actually, you're wrong." You said before you could stop yourself.

"Oh, really?" Minho challenge. "How so?"

Shuck. "Well, you see... um, I'm already dating him. It's just... it's a secret, so you can't tell anyone." You said.

Minho raised an eyebrow, but seemed satisfied with your answer. "Okay. Then prove it." He said.

Oh shuck. You thought, but still decided to see how far you could push yourself. "How?"

That would give you time to come up with a lie.

Minho shrugged, and you cursed yourself.

"Fine." You said. "I'll bring him to the Christmas party Saturday." No, no! You shucking liar! Shut up! The voice inside your head screamed at you. You ignored it, though, enjoying the idea of destroying Minho's delicate ego.

In a friendly way, of course.

Minho looked shocked for a moment, which soon melted into a sly smirk. "Good. I'll see you there, then." He said, and cockily leaned against the staircase railing besides him.

You were about to release the breath you didn't realize you held until Minho spoke up again. Quickly, and to stop yourself from saying anything else you'd regret, you decided to distract yourself by tying your shoes.

"Oh." He said, clicking his fingers as if he just remembered something. "Thomas said to dress fairly nice." He said with a wink, and turned around to open the door.

"I always 'dress fairly nice'." You mumbled to yourself, and stopped Minho from leaving you at the door. "Minho!" You yelled. He turned, "Never wink at me again!" Minho smiled at you, signaling that he got your message. You got your other shoe on, yelled a quick goodbye, and shut the door behind you, making your way to your car. "How am I gonna get out of this one?" You asked yourself while you drove home.

--

Remember when you specifically asked Minho not to tell anyone about you and Newt? Yeah, that didn't really work.

Lesson learned, Minho's not great at keeping secrets.

He's not even close to being good, actually.

The next day, which just had to be Monday, was the day you discovered that. Really, it was when you found out that Minho told Thomas, who told Teresa and Brenda, who told Aris, who called Sonya, who decided not to tell Newt but instead to tell Harriet, who told Alby. Luckily, Alby can keep a secret. And as it turns out, he can make other people keep secrets.

So when Newt got to school on Wednesday, he didn't know anything about your little lie.

And that's how you liked it.

"Hey, Newt!" You called to your best friend, and ran over to him while waving a hand.

He turned to you, and his beautiful golden eyes locked with yours. "Hey!" He said excitedly as he limped towards you.

You gave Newt a hug, which he eagerly returned. Then, you pulled him away, hardly noticing the way he clutched onto you for a little longer. You kept your hands rested on Newt's shoulders, and looked him deeply in the eyes.

"I need to tell you about something." You said slowly while you checked your sorroundings for eavesdroppers (Minho and Thomas). When you were finish, you added "But not here."

Newt gave you a confused look, but Minho jumped onto his shoulders, so the expression quickly melted into a boyish grin. They did a little handshake, and you decided to be on your way to your first hour the second Minho winked at you--even though you told him not to.

--

U busy rn? You texted Newt. His Bitmoji popped up, and put a hand on it's chin like it was thinking.

No Came the response after a few seconds.

Kay You said. You thought for a moment, and quickly typed a response. Wanna fake date? You asked. Shaking your head, you quickly deleted the response and came up with another one.

R u going to the christmas party?

Newt's Bitmoji thought again, dissapeared directly after his response popped up.

Planning on it

Again, you replied with: Kay

Can u help me with something? You added, just before anxiety of Newt's reaction told you not to. Theres a guy at school who won't leave me alone... so can you pretend to by my boyfriend? Just for a little bit

With what Newt texted.

You thought for a moment, and replied with a quick lie; This is going to sound rly weird but there's a shank at school who keeps flirting with me so I may or may not have told him that I had a boyfriend so he'd back off? You slammed 'send' before your anxiety even thought of telling you no. Again.

Newt's Bitmoji jumped up, and started thinking. This felt like an eternity for you, when it was mere seconds.

Or maybe it wasn't.

Maybe it really was and eternity, and you thought it was only a few seconds. Maybe he really was about to screenshot it to send to all of his friends and ruin your life.

But that wasn't like him. Not at all.

So maybe he was trying to think of an answer so he couldn't mess this up instead--or he was asking his sister for help. Maybe he loved what you guys had, and didn't want to ruin it over a silly crush. Maybe he wanted to date you for real instead.

Whatever the reason, you both hated being put in this position. Maybe some (you) more than others.

Oh my god. Why'd I do that?! I screwed us up. Oh no, oh no. You thought. You were about to write a reply saying nevermind, when Newt's response popped up.

So u want me to pretend to be the boyfriend

You winced at yourself, at how cringy it sounded--asking your best friend to fake date you so you could prove something else to your other best friend while having secret feelings for the first one--but reluctantly confirmed Newt's theory.

Newt took a while to respond, but still less than he did before. Who is the slinthead anyway

What? You asked yourself. What does that have to do with anything?

You didn't want to point fingers, so you went with a safe bet in saying: You don't kno him.

Does Minho

No

Tommy

No

Anybody

Not that I know of. Why does this matter so much? U gonna beat him up?

Newt typed a response, but apparently deleted it and typed something else. You meant the text as a joke.

I can go so I'll drive u to Tommy's at 6:30. He said to dress nice so send me a pic of your dress so I'll match my tie

Wait. What?

Did you read that right? You went back and reread Newt's reply.

Yep. Newt just agreed to fake date you.

Oh, shuck! You thought. Newt just agreed to fake date me!

Thx! IOU 1!! You keyed in, and shut your phone off. You sighed, thanking the gods under your breath. A goofy grin soon spread across your face, and you walked over to your closet to pick an outfit.

--

"How about this?" You asked, turning to face your friends for about the 50th time that night. The dress was elegant and red. The knee-length velvety hugged your skin warmly. You had black tights underneath, but no shoes picked out yet.

Brenda eyed you up and down like a judgemental mother would to her daughter. "Well..."

"YES!" Sonya screamed, leaping up from her seat. Teresa jumped, suddenly awake, causing you to giggle slightly.

"Oh my god, Newt will love it!" Sonya said, running over to admire the dress up close.

You smiled, "You really think so? It's not too much?"

"Too much? Are you kiddin' me!? He loves you no matter what you do!" She said, spinning you around in the dress.

You froze. What? Oh... You suddenly realized the deal with Min, and your muscles relaxed.

Sonya froze as well. With that, you heart rate quickened. It felt like it was going to burst. At least, until Sonya shouted "We need jewelry!" And dragged you towards your dresser.

She dug through the drawers like they were her own, and turned to you when she found nothing. "(Y/n)! Where's your jewelry?!"

You gave her an odd look. "Uh... I don't have any?"

"What!?" Brenda screeched from your bed. She loved jewelry; anything from toe rings to finger rings to nose rings. She ran over to you and your friend.

You sent her a sheepish smile. "Yeah--"

"I'll be back!" Brenda said, holding up her index finger to show a number one, like saying 'give me a sec' or something.

You met Sonya's eyes, and she laughed. You did too.

Sonya laughs like her brother. Cheerfully and free of cares of who could be watching. It was contagious.

Soon, you were laughing as well.

Until Teresa asked if you and Newt have kissed yet.

"Uh... no. Why?" You responded.

Teresa smirked at you. "No reason," she said in a sly voice. Like a snake.

Sonya sent her a glare, but it was interrupted when Brenda waltzed back into your room with a makeup bag.

Or... rather a jewelry box.

Brenda dug through her box, in search of the perfect accessories. Sonya was about to join her, when Brenda jumped up, startling Teresa.

Again.

"These!!" Brenda said, holding up a sparkling pair of dangly earrings.

You eyed them, "Okay...?" You said, and hesitated before taking them out of her hands.

While you put them on, Brenda began her search for rings, necklaces and/or bracelets. She finished by the time you did, but Sonya handed the silver bracelets to you.

When they were secured, you turned back to your friends. "Cute!" Sonya and Brenda squealed.

"Aw, my baby girl is all grown up!" Sonya said, even though you were older. Her hands were next to her cheek while she smiled at you, giving you the look you give your friend when they're about to get married.

"And she's dating your brother!" Brenda needlessly added. This caused you to blush.

"So cute!" They squealed once more. You looked to Teresa for help, but she just smiled and took a picture.

Sonya's phone rang in her pocket. She opened it, and looked to you apologetically. "I have to help Newt." She said, starting to leave.

"Byeeee!" Brenda and Teresa called after her.

"Bye!" Sonya returned.

"Thanks for making me not look stupid!" You called after her.

Sonya gave you a two fingered salute while she walked away. She turned around, "Don't mess that dress up, (Y/n). I'll bring heels before the party."

"Heels?" You groaned.

"Yes, heels." Brenda responded, bringing you to the mirror. She pushed your hair out of your face, and lead you over to your mirror. "Now we need to figure out makeup." She said.

--

You were exhausted, but you were finally party ready. You checked your reflection in the mirror, qquadruple-checking to make sure there wasn't any wrinkles you missed. Your makeup shimmered in the light of your room. It was natural, but fancy. Nothing too much.

The honk of a car horn interrupted your thoughts. You peered through your window to find Newt, gave him a quick wave, and grabbed your heels before walking out the door of your house.

Newt reached across the passenger seat, and opened the door for you.

"Thank you so much for agreeing to this." You said to Newt, shutting the car door behind you.

"No problem." He was dressed nicely, too. A black shirt tucked into black pants with a red tie that matched your dress.

You put your feet up on the dashboard and started to put your shoes on. Newt eyed you, then your shoes.

"Are those Sonya's?"

You sent him a sheepish smile, "Yeah."

He laughed, and returned his attention to the road infront of him.

"I don't wear heels!" You said defensively.

Newt just laughed more. "You seem to be now!"

You groaned in frustration, and brought your feet down. You slouched low into the chair in a pout.

"It was a joke, babe!"

Your heart stopped. Babe? "'Babe'?" You repeated your thoughts.

"Er... yeah. I, uh... since we're...."

You giggled, "Relax, shuck-face. It's fine."

"Babe." You added.

Newt pulled into Thomas's driveway, and gave you a funny look. You were about to get out when Newt stopped you.

"Let me get the door for you." He said, leaping out of his seat and limping over to your side.

He opened the door, and you gave him a grateful look. He shut the door while still watching you, but your stares were interrupted by a wolf whistle.

You and Newt turned, and found Minho in the front of Thomas's house.

He wore his usual stupid smirk.

That bastard. You grabbed Newt's hand and pushed past Minho. You smirked to yourself in triumph after.

"Ship it!" Minho yelled from behind you.

Newt gave you a confused glance, but you brushed it off with an apologetic smile.

Until you lost your balance. Stupid heels! You felt yourself falling to the ground until a pair of strong arms caught you.

You looked up and found your savior to be Newt. You smiled, and thanked him before walking into the kitchen.

It didn't take Minho long to find you after. You'd say it probably was around 7:10 when he walked up to you with his stupid smirk that never seemed to wipe off.

He said nothing, just grabbed your arm and pushed you towards the living room. You followed, watching the groups of semi-drunk teenagers smile and dance. Suddenly you felt a harsh push from behind you. You stumbled forward a bit, in attempt to stop yourself from bumping into the dude in front of you. But of course, you being you in heels, you tried to use the dude for support, but failed miserably.

"Woah!" He said, his familiar accent hitting your ears while he caught you.

Once again, you thanked Newt for saving your pride.

And your dress.

"A little klutzy today, huh?" He asked with a laugh.

You looked down and blushed, "Yeah, I just--"

"Everyone look!" You heard Minho's voice yell. "Mistletoe!"

Your eyes widened in horror, and you looked to Minho for help.

Stupid idea, really. He wouldn't help you to save his life. He had to win this.

You looked back to Newt, who studied your face.

Until someone shouted, "Get on with it!" Your guess was Brenda.

Newt watched you still, and you wondered about what he could possibly be thinking.

Was there something on your face? Would he back out if you tried to kiss him? Would he even kiss back? Was he suddenly regretting his decision? Did he want to leave for home?

Questions fueled from doubt and anxiety flooded through your mind while you awaited Newt's rejection.

It never came, though. Instead, a cold hand wrapped around your neck and pulled you closer, and warm lips soon met your own.

As cheeseballs as it seems, you melted into it. Your hands went to Newt's neck, and he seemed to pull you closer.

Of course, your moment had to be interrupted by Minho, who cleared his throat obnoxiously. "Okay," he said. "You can stop now. I get it." You and Newt pulled apart, suddenly realizing that almost everyone at the party was staring at the two of you.

Your blush turned from fair to hard core.

"You're so cute!" Sonya squealed, holding up her phone.

Shuck. You thought to yourself. She taped it.

Newt smiled, and pulled you closer to him. His hand rested on your waist while his blush died down.

Where is all this confidence coming from?

You decided to shrug it off, and wrap your arms around your 'boyfriend' tightly.

You never wanted the night to end. But unfortunately all good things must.

The jitters from Thomas's party never stopped. Even when Newt drove you home.

"We should do that more often, yeah?" Newt asked you, while Aerosmith's Fly Away From Here faded into KISS's Beth. You recognized the playlist playing. It was the one you made for him.

Actually, you made it for yourself, first. It was called 'Soft Retro', and by far one of your favorites. You originally made it for the many nights where you couldn't sleep. Apparently, Newt loved it, so you passed it down to him. Love songs made you sick, anyway.

Not Newt, though. He seemed to enjoy them more than life herself sometimes. You're surprised you haven't caught him trying to waltz with a mop yet.

"What do you mean?" You asked Newt, trying to play his question with a silly laugh. He looked at you for a second, but returned his eyes to the road ahead. He shrugged,

"Party?"

"Did you just answer a question with another question?" You asked with your eyebrows raised.

"You did it first." Newt shot back.

"Touché," You mumbled. It was quiet for a moment, before Newt spoke up again.

"Was he there?" He asked you.

You looked at him, "Who?"

"The stupid shank."

"Oh, yeah." You said, suddenly feeling your heart sink deep into your chest. "Thanks for that." Newt was silent, so you panicked and added: "Especially for kissing me."

Newt laughed, "It was really no problem, luv." He said. He looked like he wanted to say more, but decided to bite his tongue.

"I know, but..."

You suddenly felt bad. Bad for dragging Newt into this, bad for lying to him so you could prove a point to Min. Bad for the entire night, really. You sighed, filled with regret so suddenly that it caused you to panic a little.

A lot, actually. Your breaths quickened, becoming shallower while tears flooded your eyes. Your chest felt heavy, too.

Everything felt heavy.

Until Newt's voice cleared some clouds in your head. "Hey, hey, luv. What's wrong? Hey..." He cooed slightly. He looked behind him, and turned on his turn signal, pulling over.

"I just..." Your voice broke, and you cautiously took a shaking breath. "I'm so, so sorry."

"About what?" Newt asked innocently.

You swallowed the lump in your throat. Stop being such a shuck-face. You told yourself. You closed your eyes loosely, "Do you know the real reason I asked you to pretend date me?"

Newt slowly shook his head. Great.

You forced a smile, it wasn't his fault, and redirected your attention to your lap, where your hands lay. "I was talking to Min... and he brought you up. I--" You cut yourself off. No. You told yourself. It's too late to turn back now. "He was teasing me about how you'll be at the party, because he thinks I like you, and I got sick of it, so I just... lied. I didn't think anything of it, but then h-he believed me, and I-I had to do something because he always wins every argument, so I texted you but when you asked me why I knew I couldn't say it so I told you that there was some shank but now--" You cut yourself off again. This time, by crying.

Newt watched you break into tears, speechless, as you gather yourself with a breath. He listened as you continued.

"I understand if you don't want to see me anymore," You said in a low voice. "I... I'll just find a ride home." You said, reaching to open the car door. Newt locked it instead.

You turned to face him hesitantly. Your head hung low, like a guilty puppy.

"(Y/n)," He began, but you stopped him.

You couldn't take the rejection. Not yet.

"No, it's fine. I can get an Uber or something. I'll see you Monday--"

"(Y/n)." Newt said more urgently. "Do you know what song is playing?"

You looked to Newt. It was an easy question. Like, a suspiciously easy question.

"All The Way." You mumbled.

"M-hm. And did you know it's my favorite song?"

You internally rolled your eyes at his questions. What was this? National ask a stupid question day? "Yeah."

"Do you know why it's my favorite?"

You shook your head.

Newt reached over to you, never breaking eye contact as he took your hands in his own. "Because it reminds me of you. That kiss... I knew I'd take you all the way if you wanted me to." He licked his lips. "Because I love you...

"And I know you love me too."

You were shocked. Was this some kind of sick joke? Did he know you listened to All The Way whenever you missed him because it reminded you of him? Did Minho put him up to this?

Newt placed one of your hands on his cheek, but kept his on top. "Don't you?"

Too late now. You gave him a slight nod, and Newt broke into a boyish grin. He happily leaned over to where you sat in the passenger seat, and gave you a light peck on the lips.

"I knew it." He whispered under his breath. You smiled, and returned Newt's kiss, stopping him from saying more. He smiled, glancing down to your lips before leaning in slowly. Again.

You met him halfway, and the two of you shared one of the best kisses in history.

It was only a bonus to see Minho's surprised expression Monday morning.

[just-shower-thots-responses]

Bar Fight ((Underswap Drabble/Open Starter))

Papyrus was smoking out by his sentry, as usual when he got the call. Muffet usually didn't call during business hours, so he had a slight sense of concern when he saw her name on his phone, yet he didn't seem to rushed to answer. “Hello?”

“Papyrus, it's Muffet.”

“Muffet, I have caller I.D. on my phone, I know it's you. What's up?”

“Could you keep an eye on the shop for me for a little while?” That definitely got his attention, forcing him to remove the cigarette from his teeth as he sat up, suddenly leaning on his shed. “Is everything alright?”

“Yes yes, I just need to take Danish to the Vet ER.”

“What?!”

“He's fine, he just swallowed something he shouldn't have. Normally I'd just leave the shop to my spiders, but it's getting close to night hours, and I need someone to keep an eye on the place.” “Why me and not Sans?”

“Do you really want to leave your brother that close to the sweets, unsupervised?”

“Point taken.” He sighed, putting the cigarette back in his mouth. “Can you please do this for me, Paps?” Muffet begged on the other line. Paps pulled the cigarette back out, puffing out the smoke.

“I dunno, I did kinda have plans...” Said plans merely consisted of harassing his brother online by sending him puns to his ask. Always a good time. “I'll give you free alcohol for the rest of the night.”

“Wait, seriously?!” “Yes, but you need to come as quickly as possible.” “Alright. It's a deal.” He nodded. “I'm on my way, but I gotta text Sans so he doesn't freak out.”

“Alright. I'll get everything set up for you to serve the alcohol. See you soon, Muffin Top.” Papyrus couldn't help but blush at the nickname.

“Muffet.” He whined. “We talked about this.”

“You're still my adopted son. I can call you whatever I want, deary.”

“Goodbye, Muffet!”

“Ahuhuhuhu!” She giggled before Paps hung up. He stood up, breathing in the last of his cig before throwing it on the ground behind his station. He started walking towards Muffets, texting Sans as he traveled through Snowdin.

“going to watch muffets for a while. ill be home whenever.” It didn't take long for Sans to text back.

“PAPYRUS! YOU CAN'T LEAVE IN THE MIDDLE OF WORK!!”

“she asked me to bro. she has to go to the capital for a bit so she wont be able to keep an eye on things during the night hours.”

“WHAT? TO THE CAPITAL?  DID SOMETHING HAPPEN?”

“danish apparently swallowed something bad for him but hes gonna be alright. she just has to get him into the vet er today.”

“OH MY GOD!!”

“ill be home whenever. ill keep you posted on danishs status tho.”

“OKAY. BUT JUST BE CAREFUL PAPS.”

“will do”

By the time Papyrus had gotten to Muffet's, the night hours were just about to start. When he walked in, Danish had already been whining in his cage, while Muffet's spiders were helping her bundle up. “Pappy, dear! Thank you for coming on such short notice.” “Hey, Muffet. What all do ya need me to do?” He asked, sitting kneeling down to look at poor, frightened Danish. “Hey buddy, you alright?” He asked, noting how the poor pet didn't have nearly as much energy and zeal to try to escape as he usually did when he was placed in a cage. Danish merely whined a response, prompting the skeleton to reach his hand in the cage and comfort the pastry pet. “There's not much for you to do. I've already gotten everything set up for the most part, and the spider's will take care of everything for you.” “Then why do you need me here?”He asked, removing his bony hand from the cage.

“All you need to do is watch over the people here, and make sure nobody gets into fights, the place doesn't catch on fire, etc. Just make sure nobody gets hurt and nothing gets broken.” She informed, grabbing her purse. “Okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it.”

“You may have one drink while I'm gone.” She told him, holding up an index finger, as if to stress the point.

“Just one?! But you said-”

“I said I'd give you free drinks for the rest of the night. That starts once I get back to supervise you!”

“Muffet, I'm twenty-four! I-”

“Yet you still can't drink responsibly.” She scolded. “Sweetie, you need to keep your wits about you when you watch over the shop. I don't want anyone getting hurt, least of all you!”

“Alright, alright, fine.” He conceded, not too happy about the limitation in drinks.

“One drink. That's it. And trust me, I will know if you have more than that.” She warned, picking up Danish's cage. “I love you.”

“Love you too, Muffet.” He said, giving her a quick hug. “Be safe, okay? Don't get too cold out there.” Muffet gave the skeleton a quick peck on his cheekbone,before heading out the door.

“I won't.” She reassured as Papyrus handed her the scarf she nearly left on the table. “I'll be back in about four hours if the elevator's working. Five if the ER is busy.” She informed as she walked out the door.

As soon as she left, Papyrus slumped down into his usual spot at the bar. It was too early to drink, so he just sat at the bar with his honey, sipping away at the squeezy bottle, eyeing and considering the drinks that he'd try later. One particular bottle that he'd had been meaning to try for almost a year now. Paps watched the costumers fill in, getting their drinks from the spiders, which wasn't too uncommon, Muffet usually just took the orders and washed the glasses during these hours. He had to admit that he was incredibly bored without anyone to talk to, so he shot a few texts to Undyne, but he got no response. It didn't take him long to shoot a text to his brother.

“this is boring.” He took another sip from his squeezy bottle, but only to find that it was empty. He started to consider having that drink when a spider gave him a new bottle of honey that was shaped like a little teddy bear. He quickly recognized this particular spider, and him a smile. “Thanks, Gerald.” He said, holding out his hand for Gerald to crawl in, affectionately.

Although, he got scared and ran away when Paps' phone went off when Sans texted him back.

“HOW CAN YOU BE BORED, BROTHER? YOU LOVE MUFFET'S.” He sighed.

“you scared gerald.” He sent, already working on his explanation. “and im bored because theres no one to talk to. i love talking to muffet but shes not here and im boooorrreeeedddd!”

“OOPS TELL HIM I'M SORRY!” Sans texted back, sending another text as soon as he got Paps' other message. “DO YOU WANT ME TO COME OVER? I'M WITH ALPHYS RIGHT NOW, BUT I CAN HEAD OVER AFTER MY LESSONS.”

“nah bro. i know how much your show means to you and I wouldnt want you to miss it. but I wouldnt mind the company after napstons show.”

“ARE YOU SURE, BROTHER? IT'S A TWO-HOUR SPECIAL.”

“then forget it. muffet should be back by then anyway. ill see you when i see you.”

“OKAY...”

“i promise you its fine bro. ill tell reginald you said hi.”

“OKAY. SEE YOU TONIGHT!” Well that bought him some entertainment for a few minutes.

He checked for new messages from Undyne, but frowned when he saw none. It worried him.

“hey fish face you okay?” She could have just been busy, but there had been days were she'd seemed a bit hopeless... He checked the clock on his phone. Eleven thirty.

“Alright. It's as good a time as ever, I guess.” He grinned. He decided to try that bottle on the top shelf. “Hey, Gerald. Can you hand me that bottle up there?” He asked, pointing to the desired booze. The spider happily scurried up the wall and carefully slid the bottle down the web, letting Papyrus grab the heavy bottle about half-way to the counter. “Thanks, pal. Now let's see the alcohol content.” He said, with every intention of heeding Muffet's orders. He squinted his eyes, trying to read the fine print on the bottle,but to no avail. If he wanted to read the contents, he'd need to wear his glasses. 'Not worth it', he thought. He grabbed himself a tall beer glass, and put his hand on the top of the bottle, ready to twist it open, when a spider waved his arms for Papyrus to stop. “What's the matter?” He asked. The spider shook an arm, as if to say no. “Oh lay off, Reginald. You're such a buzz kill.” He says, twisting the cap off, and pouring the bottle's contents into the glass. Muffet said he could have one drink, but she never said what size after all. “I'm sure it can't be that bad.” He smiled, bringing the glass in close to drink from it. He'd had a high alcohol tolerance from drinking so much since high school. “Oh, and Sans says hi.” He took a sip, and his eye sockets widened, he nearly choked, feeling the alcohol's strength. “Wooo boy, that's a bit stronger than I expected.” He admitted, but it tasted really good. A bit more on the bitter side, but it was surprisingly tasty in his opinion, as someone who liked sweet drinks much more. He couldn't help but take another sip, a bit bigger than the last, and a bit more satisfying as well. He gave a drunken chuckle, the effects of the strong booze already taking effect on the skeleton, who hadn't eaten since lunch. Even to someone who hadn't grown up with the spider, anyone could tell that he face palmed.

Shortly after, a figure came over and sat next to Pap.

“So, you still hang around here?”

“Oh, hey Crash!” He chimed, clearly drunk, otherwise he wouldn't have greeted him so happily. Crash was an old friend of his in high school. More specifically, he was the lead guitarist in their old band. But they had a huge fight two months before they graduated, and Paps quit the band, leaving X Bones without a drummer, or a skeleton.

“Wow, you seem pretty drunk. Can I get whatever the fuck he's got?” The spider visibly sighed, almost deflating as he grabbed the glass that was intended for such a drink, an average shot glass. “No way, I want it in that glass.”

“Ooooh boy, I wouldn't buddy. This stuff's really strong!” Papyrus warned, already slurring his words. “In fact, you can just have the rest of this.” He said, sliding the half-empty beer glass his way. Normally he wouldn't give up such a good drink, but he was just barely sober enough to remember that he needed to be just a bit responsible.

“Wow, thanks, old buddy. How's it taste?”

“Oh my God, it's so good!!” He praised, seemingly forgetting why exactly he stopped hanging around Crash, who quickly took a gulp of the drink.

“Holy shit, you weren't kidding about the strength. But this shit is good though.”

“Right? So how's Mae? Last time I saw you, you guys were dating?” Papyrus slurred.

“Mae's just as beautiful as she was in high school. Why, still jealous?”

“Nah, dude. I'm content with my family.”

“Hahaha! Right. You still a virgin?”

“Shut the fuck up.”

“And how's your stupid brother? Still a wet blanket?” Papyrus suddenly gave the other a glare.

“Sans is not a wet blanket.”

“Oh, so he's drinking now?” Papyrus was quiet for a second.

“Lemme rephrase. He never was a wet blanket. He was just smarter than the dumbasses who decided to start smoking in the first place.”

“Wow, you really haven't changed have you?” Crash laughed. “So my guess is that you've quit? How fucking lame.” Paps blushed, absolutely humiliated at the fact that he hadn't.

“Sh-shut up! You're the asshole that got me addicted in the first place!”

“Ahahahahaha! So you haven't yet?! And you're getting mad at me?” He took another gulp of his booze. “And is your brother still an idiot who doesn't understand this world?”

“Shut the fuck up! My brother is not stupid!!”

“Paps, c'mon. I've seen your brother. He is a complete dumbass.” Paps stood, forming a small bone bullet in his fist, but did nothing else. However, he kept the bone in his hand. It was all he could do to stop himself from firing the Gaster Blasters.

“Listen to me: My brother is not a dumbass. He was smart enough to not get addicted to drugs, or to smoking, or to drinking. He probably has more intelligence in his phalanges than you do in your entire body.  Now, if you're as smart as you claim, you'll get out of this bar.”

“Are you threatening me?” Crash growled. “Because your brother is not as smart as you think, whether you like it or not. After all, he did have the cigarette in his hand.”

“That's it. It's not an option anymore. Get out of the bar. Now!”

“Heh heh heh heh heh! What are you gonna do about it, hm?” Papyrus grabbed Crash's wrist, very forcefully, and started dragging him towards the door. Crash, didn't take too kindly to this, and used a magic attack to scratch his skull, grabbing the attention of everyone else in the bar. “Let go of me! What right do you have?!”

“The right that I am the owner's son. And she left me in charge. And I'm kicking you out!”

“The owner's son?! That's a laugh! She's not your real mom, and you know it.” Paps grabbed his other arm forcefully, and tried to put them behind his back, but Crash merely broke free, and punched him in the chest, knocking the skeleton over. Papyrus quickly stood up, angry and fueled by the whiskey. He was through playing around. He threw a punch to his shoulder, sinking nearly all of his weight into his fist, hitting his shoulder. Crash, who was clearly much better at fighting, threw a direct punch to his spine, forcing Paps to keel over. He spawned three bones, and hurled them at  Crash, who couldn't get out of the way in time. Crash merely threw out a needle attack, several of the syringe bullets piercing Papyrus' bones, forcing him to yelp in pain. Whether he liked it or not, Crash was a heavy hitter, so Paps quickly realized that he couldn't take anymore hits like that. He pulled the needles out, ignoring the blood that the pricks left. Bones lined up behind him. “Get out of this bar, jack ass!” He screamed, flinging the bones his way.

“Make me!” Crash snarled, showing his fangs, as he ducked down on all fours, lunging at the skeleton, and letting his bone attacks hit and destroy the table behind him. Paps made a row of blue bones, and stepped out of the way, only hurting Crash more, as he was unable to stop in mid air. “How did you-”

“Last warning. Get. Out.” Paps warned, spawning another bone in his hand. Crash suddenly lunged at Paps again, pinning the skeleton he knocked over to the ground. He began repeatedly punching him, almost mercilessly, before Papyrus managed to grab a hold of the bone he dropped, and knock him in the side of the head. He quickly stood, panting and feeling the cuts and bruises on his skull. He looked down at his hand, noting the blood on his hand, which only freaked him out, reminding him of his final moments in Judgment Hall. He quickly looked down at Crash, who he'd just knocked out. “...Shit...” He felt really bad. About everything that just happened. “S-sorry guys...Muffet's gonna be pissed.” HE said to the Spiders, who'd all gone into hiding since the fight began.

Crash suddenly stood, pissed as hell. “Just get out of here, okay. I don't want anyone else to get hurt!” Crash growled, bleeding heavily from the head. Saying nothing he punched Papyrus dead in the face, knocking him out. Once he was on the ground, he finished off his whiskey, and stumbled out of the bar, taking the glass with him.

The spiders quickly scurried around, panicking as they tried to rush everyone out and close the bar. They wouldn't be able to contact Muffet, and they couldn't speak on the phone, yet still they tried to call Sans in the hopes that he would realize something was wrong and come over.

[mahogany-siel]

august 30, i bought solange tickets today

I’m really just feeling around things lately. I don’t feel lonely, but I a lot of the time I feel like I should be sharing my time with someone. I’m really excited for what my future holds with this self-love journey. I am very hopeful but in my down time, I fantasize about having a best friend that checks in on me all the time. I already basically get almost everything I need in a best friend from Halley and my other lovely camp friends. However, I feel like so many of them actually have best friends outside of camp people therefore, I should too... then again I’m trying to break out of this whole comparison mode. I just want a best friend who is exclusively mine. While this sounds scarily possessive and definitely not the solution to all my problems, the professionals say to ask God for exactly what you want and that is something I want. But on a different larger scale note, I gotta fucking trust the process and let things ride out! Fucking #TTP have I not learned anything from Kairos?? 

As long as I am enjoying my time alone, I shouldn’t feel bad or weird about being alone. 

I would love a man in my life, but I know it’s too early to have anyone serious around me right now. This time is meant for me to accept myself without the interference of anyone else. I respect that, and God has basically told me that I won’t be finding the guy I’m supposed to meet this year for a while. When I do meet him, it will be completely off guard and it will all make sense. Personally I don’t think it will be any time before December. It all depends on my progress in self-love. God won’t send me a man too prematurely, He knows how selfless and giving I am in a relationship and how quickly all the grown up independent shit I learned will go out the window. He knows me so well <3

It’s still so weird to be single. Shawn and I spent four years being each other’s everything. I love him and I miss both him, and the idealization I made of him. He was warm and beautiful and loving and my home don’t get me wrong, but for a while (before and during the time our relationship went to shit) I romanticized a lot of what was happening between us in reality. I emphasized a lot of our best times and successfully diminished our bad times and considerably lessoned the memory of our ever present duller times together. One thing in particular I always compared our current situation to was his trip to visit me in New York last March. Spring break in New York was one of the best times I had ever had with anyone in my life, especially Shawn. Looking back, I definitely think that’s where we peaked. I low-key even knew it at the time. Nothing since the first year of our relationship topped New York. We fell so fucking hard for each other again in this city. Yo, it was so I can’t even think about it for too long before I feel some type of way about the whole situation. Looking at the bigger picture, I definitely feel like one of the things that makes me feel so weird about being alone and constantly insecure about being an introvert is that for so long even though I spent the same amount of time alone I never felt truly alone because I knew I had Shawn. He was my rock, my anchor, my salvation from being a complete loner. Now that I don’t have him as an alibi for not having good friends outside of camp I feel lost. 

Damn, look at me solving my own problems. I should save my money and just talk through shit myself as opposed to going to a therapist. 

Nah, let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves I’m not that good. 

I did a follow up email with one of the women I met at the students of color mixer about the Celebrating Color: A Group for Women of Color (take a shot every time I said color in that sentence). She didn’t reply to my email yet, but God is telling me that I’m on to something good with this group. I’m still very nervous to walk into the Student Health Services building tomorrow.

Today I bought Solange tickets. I’m so excited to see her in Radio City on October 3rd. She is kind of the first person who really got my attention about being proud of my complexion and its history. She demonstrated in such an artistically admirable way that I couldn’t ignore it. I’m hoping for an ethereal, affirming, soul-enriching moment during her set that Tuesday. These expectations may be high, but I really don’t put it past her. Her music has been guiding me in my journey. She’s like my black female guiding light. Not that I hang on her every word when it comes to female blackness, but I mean she introduced me to this new realm of my identity so I mean I owe her a lil credit. I want to learn more about her so I may watch some interviews or maybe even her talk at Yale just to gain some insight. If any of you reading this are there don’t be afraid to say hi!! Lol just kidding no one is reading this blog besides me. I have no fans, plus you have no idea what my face even looks like! I’ll just be another artsy black bitch in the crowd. If you see a girl with body wave weave with leave out that doesn’t match, you probably just ran into me. Ha!

Another black woman who is really helping me navigate my identity as a black girl from a lifetime PWE (predominately white environments) is Issa Rae. I’m so into her and her message. I’ve actually found myself asking what would Issa do in a certain situations a lot. Her self-proclamation as an awkward black girl has actually been a revelation for me. I am both black and awkward (funny how that works huh) I also look forward to potentially reading her book The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl. I mean I have to find something to rely on there are only two more episodes of Insecure and I’ve already re-watched season 1 once. I mean I could re-binge both seasons again, but shidddd those episodes are only thirty minutes long and theres like only eight a season. So 16 thirty minute episodes? That’s only eight hours I could do that before dinner. Girl I have to find other outlets!