#inner conflict of 'clearly I am avoiding diagnosis bcause I am faking it' vs 'shame is literally a large part of this disorder' | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

neon-angels-system · 1 year

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me reading about how DID patients rarely volunteer information about their dissociative symptoms and remembering the several occasions where I have had the opportunity to mention my symptoms to health professionals and consciously chose not to

#inner conflict of 'clearly I am avoiding diagnosis bcause I am faking it' vs 'shame is literally a large part of this disorder'#anyway I don't have the time or money to seek out a diagnosis. that's definitely the only reason why. totally #I want to get the other things treated first to prove I'm not misinterpreting those symptoms!#waiting longer will give me more credibility in the eyes of professionals since that'll prove it's not a phase!#it'll impact my studies!#I'm doing fine right now! I don't need to get anything diagnosed!#(said through clenched teeth)#anyway one doctor literally asked me if I heard voices or similar (routine thing not picking me out)#and I said. 'nope! not yet anyway haha'#I lowkey kind of panicked bcause I wanted to say yes but I did Not wanna deal w the ramifications #I had shit to do okay! definitely not related to shame. never. of course not. (lying)

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