#inspired by kurapika catfishes chroIIo

[adhdleorio]

everybody hates ging

Gon said “fuck”. This was weird because gon doesn’t normally swear even though he’s 25 now.

“Oh hell ye babe, fuck!!!!! fuck!!” killua, his fiance, said. “Or wait is this a bad fuck”

“it’s a bad fuck!” gon fucked.

Instinctually killua said “mood”

“Big mood,” gon agreed

“Srry go on,” krillua said because he’s a good partner who likes to listen to gon

“My bad fuck was…. Who’ll be walking me down the aisle??????”

Killua wondered why this deserved a bad fuck. “Uh whoever u want”

“But leorio is my dad and kurapika is also my parent and aunt mito is my mom and knuckle is my dad and shoot is my dad and morel is my dad and zepile is my dad and bisky is my mom and what if the rest got sad with whoever i picked  :(  “

“Just have all of ‘em” killua suggested like a woke gamer

“What”

“Just have a flock of parental figures escort you down the aisle. Why not. “

Gon used some brain cells to think. “Yeah actually that sounds amazing killua! Thank you!” He then kissed his fiance.

“No problem, gamer,” said killu

--

Gon looked over his pack of parents. He cried.

“Gon please take the tag off ur suit,” bisky said. Her dress was literally bigger then the door they were about to go through but he figured they’d solve it with nen

“No that way i can retunr it after the wedding”

“Life hackz” leorio ratted.

“I’m so happy all of you agreed to do thsi for me. You’ve all helped me grow so much. I lvoe you al-”

“YO WAZZUP SONNY”

Ging arose from the depths of hell, in basketball shorts because he didn’t read the invitation that said this was a black tie affair, because he didnt even get an invitation to read because he wasnt invited.

Pariston also automatically spawned as gings + 1, except there was no +1. Pariston was gings -1.

Every single member of the brigade of guardians formed a circle to protect gon from the bastard.

“Im here 2 walk u down the aisle. Herd u were getting married. Whose the lucky gal?”

“no mr. sperm donor, also i’m gay i’m marrying killuwu,” gon said determinedly, activating jajaken.

Ging sweat. “Well no that’s fine you know i’m totally comfortable.  i have fucked pariston. So,, ”

“Yeah we are fucking!” pariston confirmed

Leorio punched ging, no nen even having to be used. “You do not love my special boy like i do!”

Then everybody else joined in it was great. Knuckle taught ging about personal responsibility in banking and in parenting. Kurapika preformed an excorcism. Bisky insulted paristons fashion sense and then punched him team rocket style.

“But son,,  why wouldn',,t yyou prove  yourself to em? WHy, a;re y ou being a coward and le;tt;;inng thesse ""friiends"f"igth for yuo?” ging cried

“Ur a dumbass!! Friendship isnt weakness!!” gon said. Everybody else stopped to nod and agree, before contiuing to beat ging up.

Gon walked down the aisle with his murder of REAL parents. They were all beat up and killua cried some gamer tears. Gon truly was the dark souls of people.