#intro to Grandpa Bailey

[just-an-emo-fsh]

Anathema: Rowan's Letter

Dear Mandi,

This night has been on my mind for so long. Tonight, in the light of the bonfire we join hands, forever. I wouldn't be surprised if it's been the same for you. I can only guess that you're waiting, looking the part of the most beautiful Bandito bride any could lay eyes on.

But though I must detain you for one more minute, I must save you the hours here to tell you of my time in Dema before it is too late.

As you know, I have taken residency in the city of Dema twice before. Around the time of the second capture there were rumors, many of which I have told you the truth of. But not everything of my times in city are known. Even my family knows little, as they believe forgetting it is the easiest way to move on. But those memories linger.

I fear that Nills will find me out and trace me back here, taking me away once again. If such happens, save me. Cover me.

The first time Nills dragged me away I was around seven or eight. I had just barely learned from my parents and brothers to keep away from any red-hooded figure that might enter the camp. That night I was feeling useless, unwanted because I was the youngest, unable to help my family with even basic things in camp. My only comfort was a wood flute Grandpa Bailey had carved for me.

Nills stood on the other side of the waning fire, near the trees. No one else was there. I could've called out when he approached me and smeared my neck, but I choked on fear. I felt a numbness, like walking for hours in a rainstorm or swimming in a cold mountain stream. He gripped my hand and we walked through the night to the grey city.

We entered through some sort of gate in the outer wall into the fields of neon. I told Nills I was tired, but he made me walk on as he gave me a tour of the city. He talked of the heirarchy that was pivotal for the city to work: the lowest were the FPEs and the highest position, under the Bishops, were the Committed, those who were trained by the Bishops to one day replace them and give their ability to smear. He said that if I worked hard, maybe I could rise to the position of Committed.

And as I settled in, I stopped remembering. I stopped remembering that there was Trench outside of Dema, that there were such things as Banditos, that I had a family. All I knew was my daily service to Nills. I didn't see myself by my age or even by the name of Rowan. I was a another number, a body in a grey uniform that was diligent in service. Nills expected that of all of us in his district.

But a month later a night run came in. The torches jogged my memory, and I left without hesitation. My mother and brothers helped me out of the city. I found out how much of a prison Dema is. I also saw a Committed for the for the first time that night, the sign of null on his right cheek and his fingertips blackened. I pitied him, in his mysterious sadness.

Of course, you know from your best friend Carla and the others who escaped about what happened on the initiating run when I was eighteen. I learned that night that any worried or anxious thought is amplified in Dema and is able to call forth the Bishops. For a year I served time in that Oblivion. I was branded as an FPE, and found hope among the other FPEs, as we helped each other remember about Trench.

So I split my loyalties: I was dilligent in my service to Nills, eventually moving from FPE to Resident, and undermined my Bishop by spreading the hope of Trench, even finding out when any other Bandito camp would do runs and helping others leave. But after seven moons, I doubted that my camp, my brothers, my friends, or even my parents would ever come to save me. I started to fall into despair, believing my greatest fear, that everyone I knew had forgotten me.

I fell out with the FPEs and rose higher in the tiers of Nills' district. He became proud of me saying that I the potential to become a Committed, and learn how to be a Bishop if I kept working diligently. He let my hardworking reputation spread throughout the city, saying I was a model citizen, worthy even of participation in the Annual Assemblage of the Glorified! I was only days away from being initiated into my Committed status.

But I was not forgotten. You and Carla, my brothers and my parents, reassured me, fought for me, remembered me! I became a Bandito once again.

Tonight, amongst all that is good, the thought of letting you down has been weighing on my mind. I am afraid for you, Mandi. Is it right for me to marry you tonight? Do you truly want me as your Bandito husband? I have no guarantee. All I know is that I have offered you my heart, and you accepted.

I don't know what tommorow will bring, but I know that you already wait for me, by the bonfire, in your nicest white and yellow. You are more than I could ask for. Tonight we celebrate. Tonight we are married.

I wish such doubts would not haunt me now. Cove me.

Your soon-to-be husband,

Rowan

[bosooka]

some of y’all might’ve noticed me reblogging like,,,cliche lesbian stuff no offense to lesbians to a weird cryptic tag--no? you didn’t? ok well nevertheless...behold the explanation! if you like:

- farmcore lesbians

- queer stories that aren’t love, simon + do not end in suicide

- books you can tell were an ordeal to research

- ~character-driven~ novels

this may be the wip for you! reply/send an ask to be added to the taglist :D

transcript under the cut:

[Image 1: an all-white powerpoint slide with text in comic sans. the title reads, “no mercy left for god,” and the subtitle reads “a wip intro by isaakandreyevs.” the surrounding rainbow text reads, clockwise: “mormons! gays! mormon gays!” “researching this made me extremely concerned for the safety and wellbeing of christian LGBT teenagers: a novel by me” “this is either the stupidest thing or the best thing i’ve ever written” “the lesbian adoption fantasy every rejected queer kid had at 14 except 900% more christian” “born entirely out of my insane parental instincts” End image 1.]

[Image 2: powerpoint slide titled “what’s in here???” a bullet-pointed list reads as follows:

“- farm lesbians who are moms - Gayngst™ - adoption plot - chosen families!!! - livestock with personalities - teenagers doing stupid teenager things - responsible adults - the jesus christ church of latter day saints (we’ll get there)” End image 2.]

[Image 3: slide titled “trigger warnings.” text reads as follows:

“- major: homophobia, conversion therapy, abuse, self-harm, mental illness, faith crises, suicidal ideation - minor (kind of): farm-typical animal death, bullying, foster care, alcohol use, underage”

aside adds: “yeah this is one of those books but dw there’s a happy ending lmao” End image 3.]

[Image 4: slide titled “plot?? no plot just gays.” text reads as follows:

“1998: farm country, idaho - catholic baby butch joey di angelo meets mormon annie haywood, who is pioneering new levels of lesbian repression - Romance Ensues but annie has really shitty parents - wild mormon stuff happens - and also a roadtrip kind of

2016: dc/virginia bc fuck idaho - joey & annie are now married and agree to foster a mormon girl, bailey, who got taken from her family after she was outed and her dad put her in the hospital - bailey is a trainwreck of a person and has been through three foster families and a group home - but dw the lesbian moms have come to save the day? - idk guys this is a character-driven novel - there’s also a goat” End image 4.]

[Image 5: slide titled “cast, pt. 1″. First drawing shows a woman with curly brown hair and amber eyes. she’s smiling. she has tan skin and freckles, and is wearing a white shirt with a red hoodie. her description reads:

“josephine ‘joey’ di angelo - dumb farm jock - likes rocks (gives cool ones to annie) - catholic but like. a normal person primarily - dad jokes - takes in pathetic life forms - personality is “soft puppy”

the second drawing shows a woman with long, dark hair. she has blue eyes and glasses and is frowning. her description reads:

anna ‘annie’ haywood di angelo - needs a hug - mormon and gay, fucked up about it - no coping mechanisms we die like repressed christian lesbians - loves joey an embarrassing amount - world cold and hard. titty soft and warm - would rather cut her own hand off than drink coffee” End image 5.]

[Image 6: titled “cast, pt. 2″. first drawing shows a Black woman with very dark skin and braided hair. she wears glasses and is holding a starbucks drink. her description reads:

“adanna ‘dani’ bankole - joey’s best friend + self-preservation instincts - bailey’s case worker - isn’t getting paid enough for this shit - patience of a saint - aroace but a Lesbian Magnet™”

second drawing shows a young girl with blonde hair and green eyes. she has heavy bags under her eyes and is frowning. her description reads:

“bailey park - would rather close a door on her head than admit her feelings - prays for the sweet release of death - really, really needs a hug - hasn’t slept since her baptism - a girl smiled at her and she cried for two hours” End image 6.]

[Image 7: slide titled “cast, pt. men”. first drawing on the left shows a young man with brown hair and blue eyes. he’s wearing a suit and tie and is growing the valiant beginnings of a beard. his description reads:

“bennett ‘ben’ haywood - annie’s youngest brother - actually nice - came back from mission to find his family in flames”

the second drawing on the left shows a slightly older man with pale skin, brown hair and blue eyes. he has a full beard and bags under his eyes. his description reads:

“hiram haywood - annie’s younger brother - fuck this guy - Complicated - reason the haywoods are a goddamn ordeal”

the first drawing on the right shows a man with curly brown hair like joey’s, a full beard, and dark brown eyes. he has sunglasses pushed to the top of his head. his description reads:

“anthony ‘tony’ di angelo - joey’s twin - Softe - a good boy who tries his best - let’s go lesbians”

the second drawing on the right shows an older man with grey hair and a beard. he’s wearing wire-frame glasses and a beige cardigan. his description reads:

“nonno - joey’s grandpa - gay magnet (since the 50s) - family sauce recipe will die with him - fought fascists and won” End image 7.]