#irish mafia beej

[monsterlovinghours]

hi! I was just wonderin bout where the mafia beejes came from? like how did you (or someone else? idk mang when have I ever paid attention) come up with the idea

Excellent question! I believe back in 2019, there was a Mafia Beetlejuice AU going around, and then @yankyo (I think) received an ask about an Irish Mafia flavored Beetlejuice, and in the discord server that a bunch of us are in, we went feral over the idea of there being different kinds of crime boss Beetlejuices. Thus Gio, Cia, Zhuk, Scarabee, and Bajo were born.

Since then, we've actually made more of these dons, or what we consider to be "don-adjacent." There's Devlin (unknown), a nomad curse-breaker; Lag (Scottish), the estate's grounds keeper and animal handler; Saft (German), an anarchist and weapons dealer; Bjalla (Icelandic), a vampire-coded protégé of Gio and cold-blooded assassin; and Mozzie/Jericho (Australian), a cyberterrorist with DID.

Jesus I hope I didn't forget anyone

[yankyo]

Okok now hear me out, mafia!beej x reader in the Irish mob. I think that’d be interesting

You've made my discord server go absolutely feral with this and I've been bombarded with thirst all morning. There's three working versions of Mafia Beej now and I guess I gotta write about them all soon 

thankyousomuchiloveyou

@monsterlovinghours @beetlejuicebeadoll @sapphic-florals @tarot-tea-trashmen @the-ineffable-prince-of-hells @wolfie-doggo @beetlejuicecansteponme @realmonsterboyhours

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Irish Mafia Beej is a suave motherfucker and you cannot convince me otherwise 

He's gruff and unfriendly when it comes to others, but he's just the sweetest bean when you come around - like, full on dopey smile and full switch of tone the second he spies you, it doesn't matter who he's talking to or what he's doing 

He could be in the middle of an interrogation and snarling threats, but the second he saw you, he's coming over to dote on you 

all of the pet names, he calls you leannán, cailín álainn, mo chroí, mo shíorghrá - and when you find out what he's saying you just straight up melt 

You call him M’fhíorghrá which means 'My True Love' and the first time you say it, he legit chokes and probably even tears up a little bit 

He's so soft my dudes 

His accent, holy shit, when he lowers his voice and growls you could just faint ok? 

A big dirty talker, like, holy shit, when he gets going he's going to have you blushing so dark and he's gonna love it

And if you talk dirty back? Oh damn, he's gonna have some real fun with you 

He loves having you sit on his armchair with him, all perched up like a monarch at their throne - and you can be sure that every single one of his underlings will know that the boss's partner ain't to be trifled with 

Are you sweet and soft? Cool, he's gonna protect the crap out of you, no matter his lifestyle his baby don't gotta worry about a single thing. He'll come home, wash the blood from his knuckles and be the most doting boyfriend the world has ever seen 

Are you spunky and the type to get into fights? Also cool, he'll be right there next to you fighting right by your side. He knows you can protect yourself, but that doesn't mean he'll just sit back and watch. 

He is definitely the kind to punch a catcaller tho, if anyone is dumb enough to shout some demeaning and uncalled for shit your way, he will not hesitate to show them their place and will come back to you all smiles despite the new bloodstain on his vest 

Definitely smokes a pipe and loves it when you smoke with him

Has a high alcohol tolerance, do not drink out of his flask. Netherworld alcohol is some strong shit and if you take a careless swig who knows what you'll be seeing

If you are going out to drink with him, he'll be keeping tabs on you to make sure you don't go over your limit and will make sure you drink lots of water - after all he's gotta make sure his babes doesn't end up with a hangover the next day 

Drunk sex ok. Nice. He's mumbling against your skin and after a moment you realize he's praising every single inch of you. You already feel floaty and weightless and he's gonna nudge you happily into subspace and take such good care of you 

Will sit you on his lap and rock your hips back and forth slowly, just barely fucking you until you whine 

"Oh darl', ya need more? Wan' me to fuck you right?" He croons, cupping your cheeks to kiss you so softly, but when you nod a slow, almost predatory smile spreads across his face and he wraps his arms around you to brace you before he fucks you hard 

Will the aftercare be top notch the day after, you bet, but he's gonna he leaving quite a few bruises in his wake. You aren't leaving that bed without a gottdam plethora of hickies, the imprint of his hand from where he squeezed just a touch too strongly, bitemarks, and if he's feeling particularly in a mood, rope marks

He loves shibari, but which version of Mafia Beej doesn't? He ties you up so thoroughly that you can't move a single inch, but don't doubt that he'll be treating you like glorious creature you are every single second 

You're the one bound up, yet he is on his knees worshipping you

And don't you think for a second that he wouldn't be overjoyed to hand over the rope to you and let you tie him up 

This 👏 is 👏 a 👏 man 👏 who 👏 wants 👏 to 👏 get 👏 fucked 

He loves to be on his hands and knees for you, he'll whine so nice for you if you reach up and pull his hair when you fuck him 

He lives to give head. Is he eating out your pussy? Sucking your dick? Going to goddamn town on your strap? Whatever and he'll do it with gusto

Not as much of an exhibitionist at the others, he much prefers having you all to himself to dote upon 

But if you're acting bratty during one of his meetings, he won't hesitate to reprimand you no matter who is there to watch. 

He is the most lenient to brat's, but that doesn't mean he won't remind you who's in charge every now and again

Even if he kinda likes it when you act all spunky 

[monsterlovinghours]

Hey mom? Who are the 5 Mafia!Beej leaders and their bases? they sound really cool!

hoo boy i am so glad you asked i actually made an outline for each of these suave motherfuckers

Italian Don: Scarafaggio, or Gio

Fronts: Private museum owner. Deals in black market art and artifacts.

Speaks: Italian

Appearance:

-Hair slicked back, always one little errant strand lying across his forehead. Black at the roots, green at the tips.

-Wears impeccably tailored suits, pinstriped in black and white. Occasionally they’ll be a red scarf in his breast pocket or a red tie. 

-All five have a pinky ring with a beetle etched into it. 

-Gold tooth

-Wears a lot of jewelry; expensive watch, lots of rings, etc. 

-Owns a lot of leather driving gloves, even though he never drives himself anywhere.

-Usually carries a cane, prefers dark wood with silver or glass heads.

Personality:

-Rather hot-headed, shortest fuse of the three

-Goes absolutely feral on people who disrespect his s/o or his business partners. 

-Doesn’t really do displays of affection, has a hard time expressing emotions.

-His love language is gifts, he’ll absolutely shower his s/o in presents.

-Has a taste for luxury and decadence.

Attributes/Skills:

-Best at first aid/patching up and bandaging wounds. Has sewn his own gashes before. Lots of scars underneath the clothing, though none on his face. Yet.

-Sings beautifully, has this rich baritone croon. Loves to sing a duet with his s/o

-Drinks scotch, brandy, cognac. Always the top shelf stuff.

-Smokes Cuban cigars. 

-Actually a decent cook, but never does it unless s/o is doing it with him.

-Can do the Jitterbug and the Charleston. Refuses to unless his s/o is his partner. Slow dances are just swaying with your hand in his and his palm pressing to your back.

-Quite a good artist, hides his talent.

Russian Don: “Zhuk.”

Front: Luxury resort owner, general investor. Deals in illegal firearms.

Speaks: Russian

Appearance:

-Tall. Very tall. Barrel-chested, broad-shouldered. Built like a brick house.

-Longer hair, about down to the back of his neck. Not long enough to pull into a ponytail, but long enough to play with. Like Scara’s, his hair is black at the roots, but there aren’t much roots showing through. Most of his hair is green.

-Wears almost all black all the time, very monochromatic. Black turtlenecks under Armani suit jackets. Very sleek.

-Has tiny rectangular reading glasses. His eyesight is fine, it’s all just part of the appearance. Makes him look intelligent.

-Tiny streaks of silver at his temples that don’t change with his mood ring hair. 

-Aside from the pinky ring, he sometimes wears a gold chain. Has a nondescript but very expensive watch around his wrist. 

Personality:

-The most even-tempered and calm of the three. Exudes an air of dignity and refinement. 

-Slow to anger, though when angered is absolutely the most fearsome.

-Does not tolerate self degradation. 

-Definitely has the most top energy of the three.

-Despite his size, he's incredibly gentle with his s/o, both in touch and in tone. 

-Protective. Has a tendency to hover if he's worried.

-Is not shy about showing affection or telling s/o exactly how he feels

-Authoritative. Expects to be obeyed.

-Showers his lover in praise, in a mix of English and Russian. The only trouble is, the praise and the dirty talk are spoken in the same gentle tone, so his s/o doesnt know which it is until he lapses back into English.

Attributes/Skills:

-Drinks vodka almost exclusively. Kind of a snob about his liquor. 

-Smokes hand-rolled cigarettes out of a little chased-silver case he keeps tucked in his coat pocket

-Plays the piano. Can also play the harp, but he’s not as good at it.

-Has a soft spot for animals, dogs in particular. 

-Is the most partial to baths of the three, most likely has his own persona sauna and bathhouse

-Can ballroom dance; despite his size, he's quite graceful.

-Has a scar across his left eyebrow.

-Very much into the predator/prey play, though he doesnt have much a tolerance for games or teasing. If he's hunting you, you'd better come up with a strategy or it will be short.

Irish Mafia Don: “Ciarog,” or Cia

Front: Pub owner. Runs an illegal bare knuckle boxing ring

Speaks: Gaelic

Appearance:

-Long hair, little bit past his shoulders, all green

-Freckles across his cheeks, all down his arms

-Heavily tattooed, especially on the hands and arms. 

-Shortest of the five, though he’s only an inch or so smaller than Gio

-Wears earth tones, greys and greens mostly. Button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up, green vest, grey wool pants, and a flat newsboy cap

-Wears a rosary around his neck. Like Zhuk’s glasses, it’s just for show. 

-Has thick calluses on his knuckles, as well as lots of scars on his hands. They’re hardly noticeable with all the tattoos, but close inspection reveals them. 

-Wears more rings than Gio, though his are of slightly worse quality. They’re not for show, they’re meant to deal damage to whoever he has to pummel.

Personality:

-Laid back, very flirty. Almost doesn’t seem like a mob boss at first, always cracking jokes.

-Loves games of any kind, especially riddles and guessing games.

-Quick to anger, but quick to calm as well. 

-Likes being outside more than the other two, has an appreciation for nature

-Definitely a switch. 

-When he gets excited or angry, he'll speak in a mix of English and Gaelic. The more emotion he shows, the more Gaelic slips out.

Attributes/Skills:

-Can play the violin/fiddle. Knows just about every drinking song there is. Loves performing in his pub with his s/o

-Has an extensive knife collection. 

-Doesn't have the steps of any particular dance, but can whirl you around a room so fast your head will spin.

-Whiskey and scotch are his preferred drinks.

-At any given moment has at least three weapons hidden on his person.

-Most lenient of the three

-Can use fae magic, even though he's not exactly on friendly terms with them.

-Collects enchanted trinkets. Between his knives and his trinkets he's a bit of a pack rat

Cajun Crime Lord: “Scarabee,” or Bee

Front: Riverboat casino runner. Distributes moonshine and runs illegal gambling dens

Speaks: French Creole

Appearance:

-Same height as Gio

-Hair colored like Cia’s, all green, but cut shorter than the rest and styled into a bit of a pomp.

-Wears a suit of gold paisley, has a necklace of various species of teeth (some animal, some human) around his neck, along with silk gloves on his hands

-Carries a cane, but unlike Gio’s his is connected to his magic and glows to match his hair. 

-He’s got a bit of a crazy eye, when he grins, he can look a little unhinged. The heterochromia doesn’t help that, with one green iris and one purple

-His teeth are inexplicably a little bit sharper than the other’s.

Personality:

-Playful, teasing, not shy at all

-Biggest top after Zhuk

-Has the biggest bloodlust, likes to get his hands dirty

-The angrier he gets, the bigger he grins, and it’s a little terrifying.

-Also expects to be obeyed; he and Zhuk get into a lot of pissing contests over this.

-Definitely the type to throw elaborate, crazy parties in his manor or on his riverboat. 

-His accent gets super thick when he’s excited or angry, so much so it’s hard to tell the difference between English and Creole. 

Attributes/Skills:

-Actually a really good cook, loves sharing recipes with his s/o

-Skilled in voodoo and witchcraft, has shadow powers

-Has pet gators that live in the swamp out back of his property. Please don’t ask what he feeds them.

-Drinks pretty much anything, but is partial to moonshine

-Smokes Virginia Slims

-Definitely gets high on a regular basis

-Terrific swing dancer. 

Spanish Crime Lord: “Escarabajo,” or Bajo

Front: Owns a string of private nightclubs. Operates a drug running ring, cocaine and marijuana

Speaks: Spanish

Appearance:

-His dress is very monochromatic, sticking mostly to black and white. Sometimes you can catch a flash of red.

-Open-throated shirts and tight pants. Very Zorro-esque.

-Wears a silver medallion around his neck with the Virgin Mary on it. Like Zhuk’s glasses or Cia’s rosary, it’s all for show.

-Silver teeth. Some back teeth, but most noticeably, his top canines. 

-Slicked back hair, like Gio’s is mostly black with green just at the tips, but closer in length to Zhuk’s. Has the thickest hair of the five.

-Black leather gloves. Unlike Gio and Bee, who are always wearing theirs, he’s seen without them just as much as with them.

Personality:

-The most flirtatious. You thought Cia was bad? Bajo is on thirst hours 25/8.

-It takes a lot to make him angry, though he’s quick to cool down. Most level aside from Zhuk. 

-Tells a lot of jokes. His are only a little bit better than Cia’s.

-Likes leaving little gifts and trinkets for his s/o. More often than not, you’ll wake up to find a single rose on your pillow.

-Most charitable of the lot. They have orphanages and boarding schools set up in each of their home countries, and it was his idea to start them.

-Oddly wise. The best to go to for life advice (if you want to avoid one of Zhuk’s lectures, that is).

Attributes/Skills:

-Plays the guitar. He and Cia often duet.

-Amateur sharpshooter. He won’t be winning any contests, but he’s by far and away the best shot of the five.

-Has a green thumb. Loves to grow things; flowers, fruits, vegetables, herbs, you name it. Has land dedicated to his plants on each of their shared estates, as well as his own small farm back home.

-An absolute god at the tango. 

-A switch for sure, but is probably the most eager bottom of the five. 

-Praise kink? Praise kink.

(tagging @yankyo @realmonsterboyhours @beetlejuicebeadoll @sapphic-florals @dilfyjuice @wolfie-doggo and the other members of my discord just in case i’ve forgotten something or if they would like to add anything.)

[monsterlovinghours]

Howdy! Um, I’m new here and I’m too much of a coward to ask this of anyone else, could you do like... quick fluff hc for each mafia Beej? Like, just their nickname, their region mafia and a fluffy head canon? I understand that there are 5? I hope? I wouldn’t want to overwork you. Anyways, have a lovely day/night!

My buddy, fluff hc’s are my specialty. Buckle in, I absolutely fucking love talking about the dons.

-Zhuk. Russian mafia don. Has a soft spot for animals, dogs especially. He’s the biggest of the five, and the most gentle, and more often than not in some wing of their estate, he’s nursing some wounded animal back to health.

-Scarafaggio, or Gio. Italian mafia don. His love language is gifts, so he absolutely showers his lover in jewelry. Especially rings; he gets smaller versions of all his rings made so that you can match him.

-Ciarog, or Cia. Irish mafia don. Sings the most out of the five. He’s always singing something under his breath, some Irish ballad or drinking song. He also plays the most instruments; violin, lyre, mandolin, guitar, and ukulele. 

-Scarabee, or Bee. Southern crime lord. Loves spending time in the kitchen cooking with his lover. He’s the best cook of the five (no matter what Gio says) and he adores teaching you old recipes that have been passed down for centuries, loves watching your face when you take that first bite.

-Escarabajo, or Bajo. Spanish crime lord. Owns and tends his own gardens. He's hands on-no magic touches his plants. He has a flower garden, an enormous greenhouse for his roses, an orchard, and a small farm. Aside from Bee, he cooks the most, though Bee tends to use more magic in the kitchen than Bajo.

shout out to @yankyo for their input 😘

[monsterlovinghours]

“You’re burning up, go lay down!” With Zhuk 👀

Okay, I have to preface this by explaining who Zhuk is. @yankyo got an ask a while back that said “what if Beej was in the Irish Mob?” And they shared that with our discord, who immediately went feral and made five separate mafia AUs, all with different names and personalities. So we have Zhuk, the don of the Russian mafia. 

If any of y’all are curious about the Dons, please ask! I’d love to talk more about them!

You had been working tirelessly for days; Zhuk had put you in charge of organizing a gala at his resort, one that some very important heavy hitters would be attending, one that had to go off without a hitch. He was putting a great deal of trust in you, and you didn’t take that trust lightly. Caterers, decorators, musicians, security. All had been arranged, coordinated, and paid for. But the labor had taken its toll on you. The full body ache weighed you down, dark circles appearing under your eyes as your skin seemed pallid, clammy to the touch. You knew you were sick, but you couldn’t stop working! There was still so much to do!

You were on the phone with the event coordinator, attempting to iron out some details with the liquor provider, when you heard a click on the line. You looked up with glassy eyes to see Zhuk towering over you with a stern expression tempered by concern, his finger over the button of the landline in his office. 

You sighed, replacing the phone in the cradle. “What did you do that for?”

He didn’t answer, instead placing the back of his cool hand against your cheek. You nearly flinched back from the temperature shock, his skin seeming icy cold against you. He nodded, as if he had made some discovery. 

“You’re burning up. Go lay down.”

Fighting the urge to roll your eyes, you shook your head. “I’ve got too much to do. I’ll take some medicine here in a second, I’ll be fine.”

Two large hands clamped around your waist, lifting you into the air and over a broad shoulder; Zhuk apparently wasn’t going to take no for an answer. You knew from experience that fighting was useless, and besides, you were so tired and your body felt so sore. 

He carried you to his bedroom, his bed large and soft and covered in warm, plush furs. Ignoring your protests, he wrapped you tight in blankets, pinning your arms by your sides, and settled down beside you. “This ball is not worth working yourself to death over, tsvetok. You’ve done a wonderful job, but the staff can handle it until you are well again.” Cool lips brushed your forehead, the kiss like a blessing. “I need you healthy, my love. I would not see you suffer.”