#ironic that the ting that helps my anxiety gave me an anxiety attack any time i thought about doing it despite it helping with my anxiety

[madame-fall]

Spent months agonizing over something and finally just did it and found it wasn’t bad and made me feel better and more free. Maybe I’ll learn from this one, even. That’d be neat.

[twoshadesofcanadianflag]

Midnight (Nemuri Kayama)xFem!Reader - Ballroom Date

Here's something silly I wrote for a sweet little bean who has been blessing me with commissions for the past two years. I hope it was allright. ✌️😊💖💖💖

------

"Honey, that brow won't obey by cussing at it."

"It's the last chance it gets before I bring out an axe."

“Honey, we don’t own one.”

“I’ll make it happen.”

Nemuri couldn’t help her giggles, glancing at your battle from her periphery. You’d both spent the better part of an hour preparing for tonight and usually the simple act of putting on make-up wouldn’t have posed too much of a problem for either of you (and obviously not for Midnight). And, ironically, while today’s look was certainly more extravagant than what you were used to, taming the additional flare wasn’t even the part that gave you trouble! Infuriatingly enough, it was the defining and filling out the eyebrows that decidedly seemed to elude your skill right at the worst possible moment. Of all things…… You swore you had done them atleast enough times that it had absolutely no business being this difficult. The snickering sounds from your girlfriend did not help.

Nemuri did try to keep her focus on her own task of the eyeliner (or just not stabbing her cornea with the damn thing), but it was beginning to prove very near impossible. She turned to you, a soft smirk on her lips as she snatched the brow pencil from your hand and cradled your jaw in her palm, a soft command for you to turn. "Excuse me, miss, I'm going to have to ask you to lay off your attack. Such ferocity on that beautiful face borders on a felony and I’d positively loathe to take you into custody right before the lovely date I was promised."

“Know what? Just for stress relief, I really wouldn’t mind your way of custody right about now.”

“_____, don’t tempt me. We’re on a time limit here.”

“I was talking about knocking me out cold, but whichever works for you, darling.” You grinned, earning a sharp poke smack dab on the center of your forehead.

“Oh? Then push it at your own peril.”

Despite your sigh, you smiled, closing your eyes as you relaxed against her touch. "Thank yooooou, Nemuri." You laughed, "Phew boy, off to a delightful start. This is what I pay for fancying it up."

A gentle smile rose to Nemuri’s cheeks, curling the supple cherry lips as she continued to work on your face with a huff. “Oh hush, happens to the best of us. I’m sure I wouldn’t be even a quarter as good at face-painting if it wasn't literally a part of my hero image. By now it’s probably so hardwired into my spine that my hands will try to do winged eyeliners in my sleep and I’ll poke my damn eye out.” She mused, leaning close to your face as she switched to apply your eyeliner. “With my luck, anyhow.”

You hummed, surrendering with a soft smile as you allowed Nemuri to finish the rest of your face. You both still had clothes to strapple into and hair to wrangle into shape, so any time saved was precious in your book.

And Nemuri would be first to admit it that she couldn’t wait to see you, in the finished ensemble and with that glowing smile of yours, in the moody lighting of the dance floor.

------

It had felt like such a weird and very much extra idea at the time, back when you had suggested the idea of ballroom dancing to Nemuri. It certainly didn’t occur to you before and Nemuri was stretched so thin already as she was, what with balancing her teaching duties and hero work, that she rarely had the energy or the brain power left for much else besides snuggling up beside you whenever the time allowed.

And neither of you would trade these moments for the world. Especially how endearing Nemuri was out of her extravagant and strict hero persona and in her cuddly PJs, hair an adorably messy floof and with that positively dreamy look she got whenever you kissed. Her cheeks a precious shade of rosy, her eyes hooded and ever so slightly glistening, her lips parted just the tiniest bit, the way she had difficulty finding her words, the way she clung to you as if in fear that she’d drift away if she let up for even a moment…… As alluring as her dominating streak was, seeing the unshakably beguiling Nemuri, with her iron-clad confidence and unfaltering poise, become putty in your hands to such a degree was equally breathtaking in your humble opinion.

And so, while these moments were lovely indeed, the idea had come to you as you’d wondered if the two of you could find something different to do together. It had also been a while since you had gone to a proper date, so when you brought her the idea to visit the practice of one of the dancing clubs nearby, it was a welcome breath of fresh air in-between your hectic everyday lives.

While it did come with the usual trappings of any type of dance (i.e, borderline brutal exercise, needle-like precision, getting the hang of body awareness and how to make your body move in specific ways that felt so weird or difficult to grasp at times), it quickly became almost addicting. The rush as you'd immerse into the music and the movement felt very near natural, the interplay with each other when you could play out the moods of different songs --be it the passionate and aggressive nature of paso doble and tango, longing with a tinge of melancholy in waltz or the playfully romantic swing and contemporary pop-- the level of exhilaration was always palpable between the two of you.

And so, here you were: at the ball hosted by your fellow dancer Hirano-san, in celebration of All Hallow’s Eve. You’d laughed when she insisted it to be called that instead of Halloween, but you had to admit it was atleast a nice little change to have it be something a little fancier in contrast to all the cheesy (if cute) decorations and themed items stores pumped out seemingly left, right and center. Right behind the Christmas themed stuff, of course.

This fanciness extended to the dress code as well; Nemuri had really gone all-out with her dress that, while flared, hugged her curves in just the right ways, glimmered in soft tones of tangerine and rose-gold and with sparkling skin-tight black sleeves and a hem that reached just past her ankles. Topped with her hair on an elegant, high bun and glimmering hair pins and she was positively a vision for the eyes. You almost felt modest in your long, black number that just about reached your calves and flared only slightly: you’d learned the hard way to not wear too form-fitting bottoms after slipping on your heels and into a split (the team certainly wouldn’t let you forget it even if you tried) and too flowy garbs seemed to always tangle with you and trip you on your face instead. You never knew just how much survival stradegy could be involved into dancing…...

Simple or not, it did make for a nice, sleek contrast though, filling you with a sense of pride when you’d walked into the ballroom arms linked, collecting the stares of the entire room.

“And there they are!! Trust Kaya-chan and _____-chan to make a grand entrance fashionably late.” Hirano-san chuckled loudly as she approached the two of you, hugging the both of you tightly before lifting her hands on her hips with a playful huff. “You almost make the rest of us look bad, hopefully there’s enough spotlight left for the rest of us mortals.”

“Perhaps you ought to earn that spotlight, eh?” Nemuri grinned, wrapping her arm around your shoulders and pulling you close. “Fate favors the bold and all that.”

“Excuse you, Midnight, keep that attitude up and you won’t need to expect an invitation next time.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“Right as you are, you might not want to test it.”

“Evening to you too, Hirano-san,” You chirped in, moving Nemuri’s arm around your waist instead to have a little breathing room. “Good to see you’ve wrangled in the newbies so well.” Hirano-san sighed in mock exasperation at that, “Sensei really picked the right time to take her sick leave, what in the world would she do without me?” she laughed and gestured over her shoulder towards a group of younger pairs. “I kid, I kid, the new kids are so damn sweet and polite, I’m sure I couldn’t get them to wild it up if I tried.”

“Aww, how adorable!!”

“I mean, we do need a balance for you and the rest, Kaya-chan. Somebody needs to act the classy part.”

“How dare you! I’ll have you know, I’m plenty classy when the situation calls for it!!”

You giggled at the banter of Nemuri and Hirano-san, before walking towards the dance floor. A handful of your youngest pairs already claimed the first turn, the playful notes of swing caressing your ears as you looked on at their performance. You felt so proud of them; many of them had worked to the bone for this night, and seeing even the shyer little beans bounce and skip with confident smiles and playful twirls, it truly warmed your heart. The eyes of one of the boys-- Roromiya-kun’s --met up with yours mid-dance, smiling happily and shooting you an exaggerated wink and a thumbs-up. You chuckled, answering with a peace sign of your own. That little goofball…...

Before you knew it, the song shifted and you could see that mischevious glint in Nemuri’s eyes as she walked up to you, delicately grabbing your hand and lifting it towards her lips.

“Our song has arrived, darling. May I?” She smiled with that low, almost purring voice, kissing your knuckles softly. All the while her eyes were squarely on yours.

You felt the blush coming and the shiver racing up your spine, but you fought it, smirking back.

“I thought you’d never ask.”

Game on, honey. You’ll have to do more than that.

------

You should’ve expected as much. You really should have, once the song had shifted (a faster type of tango, one of her particular favorites), but the way Nemuri led you in the middle of the dance floor, right into the focus of the lights, took you by surprise against your better judgement. You could feel anxiety rising in your throat; while familiar, this wasn’t a song you had any ready choreo in mind. Some of the other pairs moved to the side and even stopped, eyes trained to the two of you, curious to see what’s next.

And, goodness gracious, was there something to see.

Taking a small distance from you at first, Nemuri gracefully extended her arm towards you, her dress flaring around her like rivers of molten amber. With strong, assured strides she approached, taking your hand in hers as she pulled you sharply against her stronger, slightly taller frame and led you into one swirl after the other across the dance floor. You almost felt dizzy, grateful to be leaning against her during the constant motion. Nemuri’s moves were powerful with her turns and whenever she snuck a glance into your eyes, with that beguiling grin of hers, you felt your legs almost turn into jelly.

The song reached it’s bridge before the final chorus and it was then that Nemuri pulled you into a sharp spin and dipped you down. This pulled a small gasp from you, eyes wide as her strong hand gripped firmly on your back. She leaned down, giving your ear a gentle blow and making you bite your lip to keep in the small moan. “Where did all that spark disappear, darling?” She purred, chuckling against your earlobe. “You’re such an adorable little kitten when you’re like this.”

You yanked yourself out of your stupor, biting your lip as you answered her gaze with your own sharp one. You felt the song climbing towards the grand final chorus and you’d be damned if you let Nemuri have her way with you on this dance floor without making her work for it.

Gripping her hand tighter in your palm, you sharply shifted your positions so it was now you who held Nemuri, pulling her into a gliding movement across the dance floor. You snuck a glance at Nemuri as you twirled her in your arms, unable to help your grin when you saw her wide-eyed for the first time in the night.

Oh, you’ve seen nothing yet.

Just when the chorus reached its peak, you lifted Nemuri up, twirling her in wide circles as your arms held her up by her thighs. Pride swelled in your chest; seems the brutal exercise had paid off because, while not at all easy, you were impressed with just how stably you could hold (the more muscled) Nemuri up so high. You could audibly hear the gasps and cheers around you, though for you, the highlight was absolutely the expression of your girlfriend. Nemuri’s cheeks had gone a bright cherry red, heavenly blue eyes wide and mouth slightly agape, unable to answer the wide smirk undoubtedly splitting on your face.

The chorus started to calm and, with a few sharp turns for good measure, you dipped Nemuri as the song reached its end. The audience you had drawn erupted into cheers and whistles, though neither of you could pay that much attention.

Nemuri looked up at you, her face flushed, eyes slightly glossy, shaky breaths escaping and her chest rising and falling as you held her in your grip; a positively delicious sight that sent throbbing heat pooling down your core.

You leaned down to kiss her ear lightly, a throb racing between your thighs at the shiver wracking her frame.

“The evening’s still young, sweetheart; and trust me, I can do this all night.”

[mamabearcat]

72. “Just smile, I really need to see you smile right now.” - Inukag

Again, Nonny, sorry for the delay in this one. It ended up being a follow on from another ask prompt “Dogs don’t wear clothes...” 

Please note, this one comes with a warning. It mentions non-consensual touching of an intimate nature. 

 - if this is something that would be harmful for you, please don’t read it. It doesn’t go into detail, but I would never want something I had written to be hurtful to others. 

Inuyasha could feel Kagome’s weight slumped against his back as he jogged through the thinning forest, keeping his speed at an easy lope, not wanting to jostle her too much. Usually when he carried her, she moved with him as he ran, shifting her weight to help him as he jumped or turned. It was only the slight movement of her fingers on his shoulders and her head still being upright rather than resting against him that told him she was awake.

Her lack of movement worried him, but he reasoned that she was probably exhausted after being awake all night. Awake, and trying to deal with whatever that sick bastard had put her through while he was knocked out. He could still smell the faint metallic scent of her injuries and his stomach roiled with guilt and fear. Guilt that he hadn’t prevented her getting hurt and fear now that the danger had passed. Fear that it could have been so much worse; just another reminder of how fragile her life was in comparison to his.

Thanks to his half-demon heritage, his own injuries had nearly all healed as soon as the sun had risen – there was a vague ache around his ribs and in his gut where he’d been kicked repeatedly, but other than that, he was good as new. Kagome would have to wait for her human body to repair her cuts and bruises.

He was inordinately proud of her – she’d managed to handle herself well in what must have been a terrifying situation; finding out information and planning for escape when he wasn’t physically able to help her, but still… It shouldn’t have happened at all. He was seething with rage that she’d been hurt, and he’d meant it when he said to her that retribution against the Ronin that had attacked them was only postponed. But it could wait. He wanted, no, he needed to take care of her first.

Using his nose, it didn’t take him long to find the promised hot spring – only a small one, but plenty big enough for Kagome to soak in. The steaming water had a slightly pink tinge; the smell of iron and other minerals in the water was what had helped him find it in the first place. It was secluded, surrounded by towering pine trees and protected by black volcanic rocks on the eastern side.

He nodded. The rocks would provide shade from the mid-morning sun and protection from the cool mountain breeze, and the minerals in the water would help speed the healing of Kagome’s injuries. He squatted down next to the spring on a flat platform of rock, waiting for her to slide off, but there was no movement from her.

“Kagome?”

“Yeah, I’m still here”, she said quietly. She slid off his back slowly, staggering a little as she stood, and he turned quickly to grasp her arms to prevent her falling. “Sorry”, she said, with a small smile that didn’t reach her eyes, “I’m a little tired I guess.”

He didn’t quite know what to say to that, so he remained silent. He wanted to growl when he saw the bruising on her face again – her swollen eye, the mottled bruising on her cheek, the fat lip stretched over the cut in the corner of her mouth. He swallowed down the angry words and sounds, squeezing the tops of her arms gently before letting go. Instead, he squatted down near the water to test the temperature with his hand, watching out of the corner of his eye as she sorted through items in her backpack.

She pulled out her towel, a slightly dirty but unripped shirt and a pair of shorts. His ears twitched in sudden surprise when she angrily shoved the backpack aside with a word that often came out of his own lips, but sounded forced coming from hers.

“For fucks sake!” She tried to close the backpack, but the now broken clasp resisted her efforts, and she growled at it, as if her annoyance would make it suddenly comply.

“Kagome, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing!”, she hissed, turning her back to him and sitting down on the flat section of rock.

“Don’t sound like nothin’.”

He edged a little closer, trying to read her emotions, sniffing as quietly as he could. She was obviously upset; anger and… embarrassment? Anxiety? He could hear her heart rate escalating, the slight salt tang of tears in the air.

“Talk to me Kagome. Tell me what’s wrong.”

He edged even closer, shuffling so that he was sitting shoulder to shoulder with her. She hiccupped a small laugh that sounded suspiciously like it could be the beginning of a sob.

“I don’t… There’s no clean underwear in my backpack.”

Oh. Well, that was a problem he couldn’t really help her with. It wasn’t like he could share his fundoshi with her – she didn’t even wear underclothes like that. He’d seen them in her backpack on more than one occasion while he looked for ramen and ninja snacks, they were nothing like anything he’d seen in his time period before. He rubbed his nose a little self-consciously. “Could ya wash some in the hot spring, maybe?”

She huffed out an angry noise. “No. I don’t have any in my backpack. He pulled everything out, and I couldn’t find it all in the dark.”

That’s right. The Ronin had gone through her bag, looking for valuables. He remembered how she’d been crawling around on her hands and knees in the darkness, trying to find items to help them escape. He guessed it would have been difficult; and right then, their focus had been on survival rather than possessions. He knew she had plenty of those things she called panties in that clothing chest in her bedroom. She just needed something to get by until they returned through the well, he guessed.

“What about the one’s ya wearin’ – could ya wash those?” he tried helpfully, turning his head to look at her profile. He was totally unprepared for the way her expression suddenly crumpled, the back of her hand coming up to hide her mouth as hot tears ran down her cheeks.

“Th-They’re t-torn”, she sobbed, and a pure bolt of horror stabbed through his gut. He moved to kneel before her, hands hovering, wanting to hold her. Comfort her. Then the horror was pushed aside by the heaviness of guilt. His fault. He hadn’t been able to protect her from this.

“But you said he…” He could hear his voice quavering. “Kagome…”

She shook her head. “Wasn’t him”, she managed to get out between sobs. “Owner of the b-brothel. Wanting to ch-check her new merchandise!” she spat vehemently, raising her eyes to his. He was caught by those luminous brown eyes, unable to pull away. “She gave me a f-fat lip when I refused to undress for her. A-and then t-two g-guards held my legs o-open while she looked.”

Her chin dropped, hands twisted violently in her lap, knuckles white, nails scratching. Tentatively he reached out to place his larger hands over hers, gently prising the fingers apart before she could do more damage to her already abused wrists. Wordlessly, he pulled her into his lap, tucking her under his chin, curling himself over her as if to hide her from the cruelty of his world.

Her hands scrabbled in his suikan, grabbing handfuls and holding tight as she sobbed into his chest. He began rocking, rumbling a soft growl within his chest, hoping to calm her. He dropped soft kisses onto her hair, murmured her name. Fuck, he would do anything to take this away. Erase this from her memory. He’d failed her.

After a while, her sobs calmed, and she was silent, only the occasional hiccup from her and the wind through the pines breaking the silence.

“In a way, I was lucky”, she murmured, softly, her hands gentling their hold on his fire rat, stroking the slightly furred surface. “It was a busy night at the teahouse apparently. Some sort of local celebration and all the rooms were already full. So they didn’t need my services last night. Lucky me.”

“Kagome”, he said brokenly. She looked up, eyes widening at the tears in his eyes.

“Hey”, she said softly. “Don’t cry.” She shrugged, reaching up to stroke his cheek. “I’ll get over this. It’s not like I was raped or anything. In the scheme of things, it was nothing. I mean, so many women have it worse than me – so many girls in this era get pulled into that sort of life through no fault of their own. It’s just…” She sighed. “Last night I was so focused on trying to get away, make sure we both got away safely, that I didn’t think about it too much. And then, this morning when I had time to think about it, I sort of got stuck on what might have happened, and I got frightened. Let’s not waste any more time on this. It’s no big deal, right?”

She plastered a ghost of a smile on her face. “Smile with me Inuyasha?” She tugged at his cheek. “Just smile, I really need to see you smile right now.” Her eyes filled with tears again and her smile wobbled, until he managed to produce a wobbly half grin of his own.

He knew what she was doing, because he had done it so often himself. Denial. Diversion. Pretending that it wasn’t so bad, even though the pain was crippling. But even if she forced the memory away because it was too painful for her, he wouldn’t forget what had happened. He would remember, for her.

“Let’s get you cleaned up”, he whispered, his own voice seemingly blocked by the harsh knot of emotion in his throat.  

“Ugh. I’m so stiff, I don’t think I can move right now”, she muttered.

“Then let me help.” Dark brown eyes stared up at him, examining his expression, then she nodded, giving him a tiny but genuine smile, the first real smile he’d seen from her since dawn.

He picked her up, cradling her to his chest, then eased them both slowly into the hot spring, fully clothed. The spring wasn’t too deep, so he was able to sit on the bottom, resting his back against the rocks, with her cradled in his lap. She hissed a little when her injured wrists went under the water, then leaned against him. They stayed that way for about half an hour. Occasionally Inuyasha would drop his cheek onto her hair, rubbing gently, but mostly they sat in comfortable silence, finding no need to fill up the emptiness with meaningless words.

Finally, Kagome shifted in his lap. “I think I’m ready to get clean now”, she said softly. He helped her take off the ruined shirt and dirty skirt, wringing them out and placing them flat on the dark rocks behind them to dry. He took off his suikan, kosode and hakama, rinsing the dried blood from them, stretching them out on the rocks as well, leaving on his fundoshi.

Kagome made him stand still for a moment to make sure he had healed properly, and he rolled his eyes at her, but acquiesced grudgingly. Her fingers traced gently over where he’d been kicked the night before, pleased to see that there were only a few pale yellowing bruises to show for last night’s previously severe injuries.

He reached over towards her backpack, rummaging in it carefully, trying not to get things wet, keeping his back to her as she carefully removed her underwear, ducking down into the water so only her shoulder’s showed above it. He placed them both onto the rock to dry without comment, swallowing the growl that wanted to escape when he noticed the tear down the side seam of the panties, only a hastily tied knot in the fraying waist elastic holding them together.

“There’s no soap”, she said resignedly as he continued his search, “I already checked.”

“Wasn’t lookin’ for soap, I was lookin’ for this”, he said triumphantly, dragging out her second small first aid kit from a side pocket of her backpack. “Guess he didn’t find this one.”

“Do you know what you’re doing with that?” she teased, as he plonked it on the rock next to her.

“Keh. I been watchin’ you use it often enough. How hard can it be?” he grinned back. The grin faded as he looked at the bruising on her face again. He sighed, pulling a saline wipe from the packaging, then wiped it gently over her bruised cheek, and the cut on her lip. She winced, and he couldn’t help the small whine her movement of pain pulled from him.

“I’m so sorry Kagome”, he said softly, dabbing at her lip with a gentle touch.

Kagome frowned at him. “Inuyasha”, she said sternly. “Are you the one that backhanded me? Did you punch me? Was it you that treated my body with disrespect?”

His eyes flicked downwards to the bruising finger marks on the tops of her breasts, clearly visible under the water, then flicked away again, off to the side. He shook his head jerkily, ears flattened.

“Then you don’t owe me an apology”, she said firmly. Her smaller hands moved to his cheeks, making sure he couldn’t turn his head away from her. “You are my friend Inuyasha. I care about you, so very much.” She smiled a wobbly smile. “You do a lot to look after me, protect me. And sometimes, not so very often, I look after you. I get to try and protect you. And I’m happy to. It means a lot to me that sometimes you need me too. That’s the way it works, okay?” Her eyes held his. “I will not allow you to blame yourself for this. Are we clear?”

“Yeah…”

“Right then.”

He sighed, then turned his attention back to the first aid kit. He found a tube of ointment she’d often used on his injuries and rubbed it carefully onto her cheek and lip. Kagome restrained herself from telling him antiseptic cream would do little to help a bruise, knowing that he needed to do something physical to help. It couldn’t hurt, and if it helped him, then where was the harm?

They lingered in the hot spring until their clothes had dried, Kagome joking that usually he would have come and told her to get her lazy human butt out of the spring by now.

He mock glared at her. “Cheeky wench. It’s only because you and Sango sit in there and gossip. And there’s only so long I can keep a leash on Miroku ya know.”

Kagome giggled, only wincing slightly, and his heart suddenly felt lighter. He got out of the hot spring, making her giggle even more as he shook out his hair, shaking water droplets everywhere like a dog would. He silently placed a safety pin from the first aid kit on top of her torn underwear, then turned his back, shrugging on his own clothes.

As soon as Kagome gave him the all clear to turn around, he cleaned her wrists with a saline wipe, then put antiseptic and a bandage on each one, kissing each wrist carefully.

“Ready to go find the others?” he asked carefully.

The wide smile she gave him this time was genuine. “I’m ready.”