#isnt easy to him despite it all. theres still scraps of a conscience there yknow? and he hides it from himself by pretending hes less free

[elfcollector]

I feel ill. All the fools and villains who ever fell for my ploys, they're — they're here!

[justgrench]

#i think this scene is so interesting and speaks to why i get so annoyed by the 'any portrayal of astarion#as having an degree of a conscience or goodness in him is stupid and woobifying. hes chaotic evil and thats IT' thing#the grief and guilt. the way he tries to talk himself into it. the way he removes HIS OWN autonomy to do it. pretends theres no other choic#esp in the context of other moments where he preens when hes called good. he LIKES being smth other than what cazador made him#but hes so SCARED. he spends this dialogue talking himself into killing them and he HAS to talk himself into it BECAUSE this kind of evil#isnt easy to him despite it all. theres still scraps of a conscience there yknow? and he hides it from himself by pretending hes less free#astarion is fun BECAUSE hes weird and contradictory and a bad person with the capacity 4 good. BECAUSE he doesnt know what he actually want#also i love the idea of him in this moment rly thinking abt the player....like whether theyre friends or romances#a player whos been really kind and loving to him...kept him safe....trusted him....#thinking about how they let their guard down for him and how in his old life THIS would have been the life#hed been damning them to....years and centuries in a tiny cage somehow even worse than his

I feel ill. All the fools and villains who ever fell for my ploys, they're — they're here!

[ladyofrosefire]

#i think this scene is so interesting and speaks to why i get so annoyed by the 'any portrayal of astarion#as having an degree of a conscience or goodness in him is stupid and woobifying. hes chaotic evil and thats IT' thing#the grief and guilt. the way he tries to talk himself into it. the way he removes HIS OWN autonomy to do it. pretends theres no other choic#esp in the context of other moments where he preens when hes called good. he LIKES being smth other than what cazador made him#but hes so SCARED. he spends this dialogue talking himself into killing them and he HAS to talk himself into it BECAUSE this kind of evil#isnt easy to him despite it all. theres still scraps of a conscience there yknow? and he hides it from himself by pretending hes less free#astarion is fun BECAUSE hes weird and contradictory and a bad person with the capacity 4 good. BECAUSE he doesnt know what he actually want#also i love the idea of him in this moment rly thinking abt the player....like whether theyre friends or romances#a player whos been really kind and loving to him...kept him safe....trusted him....#thinking about how they let their guard down for him and how in his old life THIS would have been the life#hed been damning them to....years and centuries in a tiny cage somehow even worse than his (elfcollector)

I feel ill. All the fools and villains who ever fell for my ploys, they're — they're here!