#it! may have made me! incapable of expressing my feelings without a multiyear runup!
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one of those many days where I say groundbreaking things such as 'hmmmm...perhaps my life...has been somewhat bad at some points'
'perhaps..........this may have had some amount of lasting emotional impacts.........?'
#me: haha so i didn't learn that i was allowed to seek love or kindness for my own benefit until i was into my 20s#also me: idk man it's been at least 5 years since the last time someone performed criminal violence on me I'm basically over it#red said#it! may have made me! bad at being in equal and transparent loving relationships! a little bit!#it! may have made me! incapable of expressing my feelings without a multiyear runup!#it! may have made me! a pretty bad friend at several junctures!#i! may still! not trust that my needs matter!#i am trying to learn but it's so fucking hard to not! be a cunt! who bottles up their feelings and lies straight to your face!
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