#it doesnt even have lambdas help

[blakyoo]

might work on legacy code my goodnes

[chidoroki]

the saddest thing with Isabella is that she couldn't have acted differently with Ray. Because what Ray expected? That Isabella doesn't shipp any kids? she would have been replaced immediatly by another mama who wouldn't have hesitated (and goodbye evasion plan for Ray because rip the deal). That she made a different choice at 12? He wouldn't exist then and Norman and Emma would have never knew and would have died.

And if she had dote on him? Consedering that escaping is almost impossible? She already love him when he tried to not, so if she had even not tried to keep her distance? It would have been so painful for her to know that his 12th birthday was coming, that his time was becoming shorter every year. She could have helped him to prepare the escape, sure....but outside that?!

And Ray, if he didn't know about the heart chip, could have thought "mama will come with us" but to learn the truth (that she CAN'T go out of Grace field) at the moment of the escape. It would absolutly DESTROY him. He's already in tears when she die, when he also tried to not be attached to her, so if they had had a real mother-son relation? The guilt. And i don't think that he would have ever forgiven to the demon or the ratri clan. (bonus, Isabella still becomes grandma and doesnt' die)

If Ray knows about the chip. Well it would be hard for him to know that they will have to leave her behind, knowing that it will be only death for her as punishment. He would probably try to create a device for the chip like he create on for the trackers but would maybe have failed. (imagine a Au where he success and Isabella escape with all the kids of their orphenage. RIP Yuugo, he would be tamed in 5 secondes. Isabella would scold Ray when he would return after three weeks post goldy pound "your grounded young man" "what but i didn't do anything wrong" "you risked your life...again")

But in both situation, Isaballa would still have to shipp kids, because she has no choice in the matter. she can just give her children more time by making them as smart than possible and even so she is forced to give one by month (or every 2 months). Ray would probably understand that she is as much a prisonner than them. (because the mama and sister ARE prisonners too. Bold of the kids to assume they have any choice)

I wanna say that Isabella treated him the same just as any other kid before she found out that he was her son. The level of affection changed afterwards so she wouldn’t get too attached to him once the time came for him to get shipped out and Ray’s deal definitely helped put their mother-son relationship off to the side. Of course if she showed him any sort of favoritism, it would’ve put her own survival in jeopardy, as well as his. But I think even without Ray, Norman would’ve been sent off to Lambda regardless. No matter if Isabella was the caretaker or not, Norman was too good of a meal to pass up. Emma on the other hand.. it depends. Ray did help improve her test scores to ensure she stays alive longer, so in this case, the deciding factor is whether or not Ray would’ve still been around at that point if Isabella doted on him and how that would possibly ruin their own chances of living.

I’m sure the idea of Ray’s 12th birthday drawing closer was painful for Isabella to come to terms with. Deep down. Where not even we would see it because she’s just that good at hiding her emotions. I dunno if she would’ve helped them outright with the escape. It would be problematic if Krone was still plotting her downfall and surely Isabella would also know that an escape would be too troublesome for the babies. She would’ve had to given up on living at that point to even consider helping Ray & the others escape, and with how much she values her own survival and the reputation she has, I dunno how easy that would’ve been for her to give up for someone else’s sake. She eventually helps them out in canon by retrieving the ropes, if only to grant the escapees more time to run further away from the plant before the pursuers catch onto them, but that’s only after she admits defeat and knew she was a good as dead anyway for letting such valuable merchandise escape.

Granted, Ray wasn’t around the other four when they learned about the heart chip from Krone, but I’m sure they must have told him. I dunno if he would’ve be devastated upon learning that Isabella couldn’t leave the farm, at least not during the early arcs. His complicated feelings for her remained with him throughout the whole story (like how he acted during the Seven Walls for example) right up until the Grace Field raid, pretty much after she betrayed Peter. Could he have reached that level of trust/love with her if she had helped them out two years prior during their time at Grace Field? Perhaps. Can’t say for certain. That boy has a lot of emotions buried deep about his mother and I’m sure all that time he spent outside the wall with Emma & the rest of his family softened up his heart a bit.

I could see him creating another device to disable the heart chip. Not sure how successful he would be with the limited access to supplies found at Grace Field and what can be imported from the outside world, but if anyone could do it, Ray could manage. Somehow. Another issue could be how well the device itself would work on said chip.. like the chip in the children’s ear? Those were easy to pinpoint since you could still feel it. The farm makes the moms/sisters undergo surgery to implant that heart chip though, so without knowing its exact location, you wouldn’t want to activate a literal taser near someone’s heart and miss your target, ya know?

Oh my god, a world where Isabella and Yuugo would meet though.. take all my hell yeahs! You’re absolutely right that Isabella would put him in his place in no time flat. Ain’t no way she would let him threaten her precious children! As much as the idea of Isabella at Goldy Pond makes my heart go crazy (just imagine! her vs Leuvis! or better yet, her wearing something other than those darn caretaker/grandma dresses!), she would most likely stay behind with the kids at the bunker to keep them safe. She would totally scold Ray upon his return from GP though, and maybe Emma too.. once she wakes up from the coma anyways.

Mhhhhmm, she teaches the children real well as it is to help them live longer lives. That’s a given. Understanding that she, as well as the other moms & sisters, are just as much victims as the children are under this farm system is definitely something Ray sympathizes with and no doubt one of the reasons why he ends up forgiving her.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and I hope you have a great rest of your day/night!

[this-should-do]

For the character ask game gordon and kleiner?

gordon

First impression: i didn't actually care about him that much when i first saw him and for a while after, he was just kinda a blank slate with little character outside of "oh just an action man with a nerdy coat of paint :/"

Impression now: hes so complex and has so much going on oh my god?? theres so much to derive from just the little details and hes defo not just action man and hes my everything and id kill for him to be happy

Favorite moment: even tho its silly i do love what him fucking up the casserole does for him as a character, makes him a lil more human and mischeivious and/or spiteful, or maybe it implies that he was really tired that morning and had a brain fart

Idea for a story: outside the one im already writing about him cutting his hair during hl1, id love to one day have enough brain power to write a story about him trying to recover from all the trauma of the games and trying to readjust to peacetime

Unpopular opinion: i dont know if its really unpopular, but i do like to characterize gordon, particularly pre rescas, as a lil bit of a dick, not overtly/completely intentionally but like he doesnt give much thought to others so he tends to be standoffish and the like

Favorite relationship: i do love his relationship with barney, but besides that very obvious one that i talk about all the time i do loooove his relationship with alyx and how close they get over the course of hl2 and episodes :] theyre sooo important to eachother (like for peats sake the vortigaunts tie their souls together, soul mates much?? just preferably platonic for me) and alyx is in my opinion the person gordon is closest to after the rescas and over the course of hl2 and for a while after, like he relys on her so much for his cues on everything going on and she arguably keeps him sane for the most part and helps make him feel more like a person again, while he ends up becoming the person she relys on the most for stability second only to her father, like they end up in a kinda super dependant relationship over the course of the games, i just wish i had more thoughts about them but alyx is a hard chara for me to really grasp in my brain so i dont have nearly enough thoughts about her :(

Favorite headcanon: he trans :]

kleiner

First impression: silly old man :] my weird ass old ass uncle :] tho i was slightly put off by the lovely woman/daughter comments about alyx since i tend to be very protective of women media so i tend to be very on edge about anything that could lead to weird/misoginistic stuff, but i didnt really expect anything bad to come of it

Impression now: silly old man :] my weird ass old ass uncle who is very affectionate and likes to compliment people :]

Favorite moment: i love when he points the shotgun at u n alyx after u guys teleport out of nova prospekt like yes u old fuck carry that incredibly powerful weapon with ur osteoperosis arms

Idea for a story: id love a story about how he finds and raises lamar

Unpopular opinion: again not sure if its unpopular but i think itd be funnie if he didn't really care about any of the immoral/amoral goings on at black mesa and is willing to be immoral just a lil bit if its for science, i kinda got this idea from his opinions about how to deal with the borealis

Favorite relationship: i dunno, i dont have much in the terms of relationships developed for him, but i do love the idea of him and barney being friends/scientist and begrudging lab assistant, with the funnie dynamic of grumpy old man and jovial much older man

Favorite headcanon: i like the idea that he makes it to the lambda labs and it there to send gordon off to xen

[sheenalawig]

EVERY DAY

By: DAVID LEVITHAN

Novel “Every Day” is a young adult romance and fantasy novel written by David Levithan. It was published on August 28, 2012, by Knopf Books for Young Readers and is recommended for ages 14–18. David Levithan is born September 7, 1972 he is American young adult fiction author and editor. He has written numerous works featuring strong male gay characters. Six of Levithan's books have won or been finalists for the Lambda Literary Award for Children's and Young Adult Literature, making him the most celebrated author in the category. Every Day is a New York Times bestseller. Every Day's main topic is, Every Day's main protagonist, who goes by the simple but pure name of “A”, A wakes up in a different body every morning. He must take over the life of whoever he wakes up in for one day, making decisions for them and accessing their memories to know more about them. The message of the novel “Every Day” is there is no set definition or picture of love, “Every Day” makes it so that we can see a totally separate side of love that is still humanly possible. Despite being in a new body each day, A is committed to being there for Rhiannon.

At the start of the novel, A wakes up in the body of a male high school student named Justin. Justin is not someone A particularly likes—he is disorganized, insensitive, and unkind—but A resolves to respect Justin’s body and life regardless. After a rushed breakfast and a quick interaction with Justin’s parents, A heads to school. At Justin’s locker, a girl anxiously approaches. A quickly identifies the girl as Justin’s girlfriend, Rhiannon. Observing her tentative body language and expectant expression, A realizes that Justin treats Rhiannon poorly, often making her feel small and anxious in his presence. Although A has resolved to remain detached and doesn’t typically invest in the relationships of the hosts, A feels drawn to Rhiannon. When Rhiannon asks to meet at lunch, A agrees. When Rhiannon finds A at lunchtime, A impulsively suggests they ditch the rest of the school day together. Rhiannon says she wants to see the ocean, and she convinces "A" to skip school with her. As the day goes on, "A" falls in love with Rhiannon, as she confides to Justin her troubled home life, following her dad's mental breakdown that almost resulted in her family losing their home. Rhiannon, in return, feels a rekindled love for Justin, seeing as he has seemingly changed into a more thoughtful and caring person than he was before. The next day, Rhiannon finds that Justin has reverted to his old, careless self, and doesn't even remember the day before. Meanwhile, waking up in the body of Amy, "A" masquerades as an exchange student in order to be close with Rhiannon…

I love the novel Every Day because it shows us that true love doesnt base in looks if you truly love the person the physical appearance is not important, what you feel inside is. I love the part of the novel when Rhiannon still loves A even though A was in different body everday. Rhiannon still loves A even A was in dfferent body, what important for Rhiannon is what is there inside not the physical appearance. I didnt love about the story is the fact that Rhiannon and A will love each other in that way. They didnt have the chance to love each other in the true body of A. I hate it because it is very complicated that A is waking up in different bodies every 24 hours. And rhiannon doesnt have the chance to meet the true rhiannon.

I therefore conclude that in love physical appearance is not important what you feel inside is what important. In Every Day by david levithan it helps me to realize that true love still exist and it made me realize and believed that love is very powerful and colorful. And in love we need to sacrifice for our loveones just like rhiannon did when she continue to love A even though A was in different bodies in every 24 hours..

[b1a4seeyou]

This is just some dumb crossover I thought of but

Utapri x Tales of Series (I wanna include Heavens but idk much about them so feel free to add!)

Otoya

He's very simple. Baby boy Sorey.

Pure innocent ray of sunshine who loves to explore hidden secrets and histories.

He will get confused and get sick after using armatization but he's a quick learner and he'll get the hang of it.

Who would ever say no to those puppy eyes???

He may not study much but he likes going outdoors, finding new stuff to get some research on.

"I CAN SEE SPIRITS, YOU GUYS!!!!!!"

Masato

He's probably a mixture of Hubert and Asbel. Literally, the Lhant bros.

Blue hair baby boys. Yezza.

He may look like a strict boy but is actually a very shy baby, too afraid to tell his true feelings.

"PROTECT!!!!!!!"

He'll do anything to protect his people.

Masa's gonna have some sweet stylish katanas to slice them demons.

He'll be the best king in his kingdom, watch him go!!

Natsuki

Can I say he's Estelle and Collete in this???

Pure heart with massive magic artes

Appreciates life

A very worrisome partner who'll keep on healing and stay beside the bedside for you ;w;

VERY HUGGABLE!!!!!!!

He may not know the most simplest things but he'll learn from those mistakes and get through it with his companions!!

PROTECT THIS BABY FROM HARM!!!!!

You wanna mess with his bad side? Try taking off his glasses and you'll get a whooping.

"YOU MESS WITH MY FRIENDS, YOU'RE MESSING WITH ME!!"

Tokiya

Okay, his character has mostly quarter of the Tales of characters.

Rita, Keele, Raine, Mikleo and Jude...

Literally all the Genius(tm) characters

Knows everything about what's going on in the outside world.

Locked himself in his studyroom for research.

He has the brains but also has the most effective arte skills, thanks to his strategies and knowledge.

Is mostly Mikleo because of how done he can be with his teammates but cares a lot to help them out and not left behind.

Ask him anything about ruins and histories, he's the walking encyclopedia.

Ren

FREAKING ALVIN!!!! And also Zelos.

A smooth lady's man.

A smooth talker but never gets the ladies. Poor boy.

He got the looks, he got the talent, how come no one wants him????

Will invite his teammates for drinks.

Is very good at playing poker!

Uses any technique to get the job done.

HIS ARTES ARE BEAUTIFULLY AESTHETIC!!!!!

He'll give you any love advice but be warn, he'll get way out of hand.

Syo

I cant help but think he's Carol. I'm so sorry.

Though he also can be Llyod!

Short people problems(tm)

Dont mess with him tho, his artes are powerful as hell.

Cheerful boy who always has your back!!!

Likes to do pranks and mess around.

A supportive partner who accepts for who you are.

DUAL BLADES YALL!!!!!!

A screaming baby ejskdbkfjf

He'll definitely do Llyod's coffee joke.

Cecil

Oh heck yeah. He's honestly Mithos, Kratos or Meredy.

Mysterious but very powerful, no one can beat him.

AN IMMORTAL.

He'll blast you with his artes in one snap.

The Thanos(tm)

Gets his revenge whoever killed his people. Uh oh.

Has a cat familiar with him!!!!!

Honestly, can you believe him and Yuri have the same JP voice actor? I screamed.

Reiji

I'm so so sorry but probably Raven.

He'll say "My girl~" all the way.

You may see him slacking off but he's actually plotting something.

Targets ONE LOYAL CRUSH until the end.

He knows all the royal secrets because he's actually part of it.

Sneaks behind your back because he's worried of you even though you think he's being bothersome.

SHOOTS HIS ARROW TO YOUR KOKORO.

Ranmaru

Hmmm.....I'm not sure which character he is but....I'm betting Dezel? And also Velvet?

Strong independent boy who doesnt need anyone to fight with him.

Doenst trust people at first but soon get along with his other companions.

IS VERY LOVABLE TO ANIMALS!!!!!

One punch from him and youre a goner.

Imagine him with a daemon hand. That's hot. ㄱvㄱ

Once he starts a battle, he'll let out his rage.

Why? You can say, something triggered him because of it.

Ai

Yuri I guess? And probably mixed with Rita too.

One sassy boy who never filters his words.

Bold of you to assume he'll talk nicely but he's just stating the facts.

He may have a lot of data and knowledge in him but he still need a lot to learn about the newer world.

He may talk harsh but he's just being helpful and showing how concern he is.

Camus

Goddamn Richard.

The Perfect King(tm)

Has another side which is actually Lambda fused inside him.

Friendly king at day, possessed spirit at night.

Is very good at sword wielding and would dare to duel anyone.

Whoever stands in his way, he'll send you flying with Lambda's infinite artes.

[nb-jesus]

this post is in regards to this post. it isnt letting me reblog the post from OP so im either blocked or my computer is funky. so, ive made my own post. @nondysphoric-enby here is my response :D

1) what does my age have to do with anything?

2) youre making me out to be condescending when i never was.

3) *cracks knuckles* here we go

this is what i presume to be an editorial on the credibility of the DSM 5 and the ICD-10. it features both pros and cons. its own sources are listed on the bottom of the page.

this is an opinion piece on the credibility of the DSM 5. its written by a man with a doctorate. if you look at the right side of this page, you can see he was the chair of the DSM 4 task force and is a professor at Duke.

this is a scientific study on the credibility of ICD-10 diagnoses. as mentioned in the editorial i linked, the ICD-10 is not a mental health diagnostic manual in itself, but features a chapter for mental health disorders instead. its used by more professionals than just psychiatrists and therapists, so it has to be general with its wording so that other professionals can understand it and are able to use it to diagnose mental disorders, which the editorial also brings up is a thing that happens.

it is true that Lamba legal says not all transgender people experience gender dysphoria, but the rest of the questions on the FAQ concern gender dysphoria and transitioning. Lambda legal, as far as i can tell, is a nonprofit organization that provides legal counsel for LGBT individuals. this being so, they can only really provide legal counsel to dysphoric individuals seeking healthcare (such as HRT and surgeries) because nondysphoric transgender people probably wont transition. to be gender nondysphoric means to not experience distress because of ones sex, right? is a nondysphoric trans person transitions, what is the point? if them transitioning “makes them more comfortable” then i would think they probably had dysphoria, but just didnt know so. transitioning exists to make ones body reflect ones gender, right? but if a nondysphoric trans person transitions while still comfortable with their natal sex, does that not mean they would develop dysphoria over this? there are a lot of cases of detransitioners who thought they were trans, and tried to transition, but ended up having to stop because they ultimately developed gender dysphoria. if you look at some radfem blogs on here, you can see they do indeed exist. my point is, why is a legal firm credible if they only provide services (which i would assume means only legal counseling a.k.a lawyers) to dysphoric trans people? correct me if im wrong, but legal counseling means “ A counsel or a counsellor at law is a person who gives advice and deals with various issues, particularly in legal matters. It is a title often used interchangeably with the title of lawyer.” according to google. let me reiterate the point of the definition, “a person who gives advice and deals with various issues, particularly in legal matters.” if theyre a credible source, would they not provide services to all transgender people? that question leads back to the question of why would nondysphoric transgender people transition if they are not distressed by their sex. do you see my point?

this is a report on the APA’s involvement in CIA torture after 9/11. this is an article about five (5) APA psychologists and their involvement in forced feeding tube feedings on prisoners in Guantanamo Bay. this is the APA’s code of ethics. it says in the general principles that “ Psychologists strive to benefit those with whom they work and take care to do no harm.” there were revisions to this code in 2010 and 2016 as stated on the page itself. however, does this mean they did not believe this statement--and the others in the rest of the sections--before? to me, it appears not, because of the aforementioned links in this paragraph.

it is true transequality.org says that “ Not all transgender people have gender dysphoria. On its own, being transgender is not considered a medical condition. Many transgender people do not experience serious anxiety or stress associated with the difference between their gender identity and their gender of birth, and so may not have gender dysphoria.” i agree with the fact that transgenderism in itself isnt a medical condition. its gender dysphoria that is; more specifically, its a neurological condition. transgenderism is the symptom of gender dysphoria. that being said, my points in the paragraph about Lambda legal stand even more starkly.

it is also true the NHS gender clinics say “not all gender diverse people experience gender dysphoria”, but in the next paragraph, they list “androgynous” as a diverse identity they experience in their clinics. androgynous is a presentation descriptor label. cisgender people can be androgynous. they also list “gender neutral” as a diverse identity people experience in their clinics. gender neutral is very vague in meaning. do they mean agender people? androgynous people? cisgender people who just dont care what people call them? and so on and so forth. they use the Interim Gender Dysphoria Protocol and Service Guideline 2013/14 and the The Royal College of Psychiatry Good Practice Guidelines for the Assessment and Treatment of Adults with Gender Dysphoria 201 to help care for their patients. the Interim Gender Dysphoria protocol has a graphic early in the many pages that shows if someone does not get a diagnosis of gender dysphoria, they are discharged or sent elsewhere for other treatment. it also shows that if a diagnosis couldnt be made, then more observation is done, and if no diagnosis is made, they are again discharged or sent elsewhere for other treatment (the graphic is on page 7). the Royal College of Psychiatry does indeed say not all “gender variant” people or gender-non-conforming people experience gender dysphoria (they say this on page 14). they never explicitly say transgender or transsexual in that paragraph, only stuff about diversity. “gender variant” doesnt make sense to me, personally, because transgender/transsexual are not dirty words. that is my personal opinion, so i dont know how others feel about it. in terms of counting gender-non-conforming people, that doesnt make sense either. cisgender people can be gender-non-conforming, and they dont need services from a gender identity clinic.

the WHO revised their definition of gender dysphoria and moved it from a mental health condition to a sexual health condition back in 2018, if i can recall correctly. i cant find the exact page where ive seen them say gender dysphoria isnt needed to be transgender, but i did find this. on that page, they say gender is the socially constructed characteristics of men and women. if gender is a social construct, which is what theyre saying but in simpler terms, then why is it so important for people to transition and alleviate gender dysphoria? if its to make them more comfortable in their bodies, why do the terms transgender/transsexual and gender dysphoria even exist, if gender is a social construct? would treatments for the discomfort transgender people experience with their bodies just be something else? or would there even be treatments at all? i know some of the questions ive asked in this whole thing can seem like reaches, but i really just want to stress the ideas that some people may think of if they hear of these things. to my knowledge, the WHO also listed gender-non-conforming people in their definition of transgender. though ive also heard they later say on that page that not all gender-non-conforming people are transgender, its weird they would even include it in the first place.

side note: terfs say gender is a social construct, too.

taking sources at face value (”why medical professionals shouldnt be trusted and how they dont actually mean what they said”) isnt really... the greatest thing to do. a common point yall tucutes make is that only you know your gender. if thats true, then why do yall take what medical professionals say about being transgender as 100% fact?

calling transmeds the “anti-vaxxers and flat earthers of the trans community” is gross. transmeds havent killed people because we havent gotten vaccinated.

if you respond, id appreciate it if you could be civil <3 thank you! i look forward to getting your response :D

[chidoroki]

TPN ch181

(spoilers! AAAHHhhaha..my children!)

Okay, so remember in my last review when I said I was impressed how Ray, Gilda and Phil managed to narrow down where Emma might be in the matter of a couple months? Well, I take it back because it hasnt been just a few months, it's been two damn years! Oh my god, I can't imagine how hard it must've been for everyone, especially our two boys, to search for so long without even getting on single clue about Emma's whereabouts. Some of the children still doubt whether she's alive or actually in this world with them or not.

(image limit, so imagine the panels of the Goldy Pond kids discussing the lack of clues and Thoma and Lani doubting the reward again)

Thankfully, Gilda gets the idea to search in forbidden zones which is where we see her, Ray and Phil. Speaking of which, oh my poor boy. This is the longest Ray has been without Emma by his side. I thought the one month after Goldy Pond was hard enough on him, but two whole years? Damn, I can't imagine the stress and anxiety he's been experiencing. He's still so frustrated too and gets so close to Emma without even realizing it. Then, surprisingly, his beloved family steps in to help? The people he personally couldn't save now come together to help him save the one person who originally saved his life. Like, hello?? I love this! Conny, who was another sibling he had to use in order to put his initial escape plan in motion to save Emma and Norman's lives, is now assisting him in saving Emma from being alone. Yuugo, who knows firsthand how important Emma is to Ray and how close they are. Isabella, knowing her son kept his promise as he's always set out to do whatever it takes to protect his entire family. The fact that Ray's lost family members can feel how strong his bond with Emma is and they jump in to help reconnect the two of them again.. just, wow. It may be all the rayemma week feels getting to me but that's like a damn soulmate occurrence if i ever saw one!

The two unknowingly pass each other again but thanks to Emma conveniently losing her necklace and finding it with perfect timing, they all finally encounter each other. Everyone expresses their complete shock and relief that they had finally found Emma, and while I am happy they their search ended up a success, the mood changes fairly quickly due to our girls lost memories. She hasnt the slightest idea who "Emma" is, who these people are or why they're so excited to see her. The kids wonder if they have the right girl, as they take notice of Emma's bare neck.

One look at the necklace in her hand though and Ray finally puts the pieces together. Honestly, I'm not at all surprised he's the one to figure out the true reward, as Ray has been very perceptive since the beginning. He's also always been openly honest and blunt when things get serious, so naturally he's the one who has to let everyone know this because while it's a sad truth no one wants to hear, or even believe, they all need to realize it, including Emma. Even Ray has trouble coming to terms with the sacrifice Emma made. He understands how hard it must have been for Emma to accept the heavy price of her forgetting the family she loves so deeply and he looks so broken when he realizes that. He must be feeling so guilty that he couldn't have been there with her when she made the new promise. He still puts the blame on himself and he's so upset that his failure lead Emma to live in a world alone without the family she cares for more than anything.

I wasn't too satisfied last chapter when demon god told us the real reward and Emma's response was a simple "okay," so I'm grateful we learned more about the conversation now in this chapter. She really did want to live her family. She even knew some of them might get mad at her for keeping a secret. She says it's a selfish request, for her to place such a heavy burden on herself, but what mattered to her back then upon accepting the reward is what has always mattered to her, and that's her family's happiness and safety. It wasn't just her loved one either, but for all the demons and cattle children. This girl truly has a heart of gold and demon god himself is left surprised. Of course I wish she didn't think she was being selfish since everyone did agree to follow her as their leader but aahh.. my poor girl.

Spoiling the very end now, but we dont get one last fullscore trio hug. Of course that upsets me since I thought it would've made such a perfect ending, but it makes sense now given how everyone's reunion with Emma happened. While their happiness and relief is completely understandable after searching two years and finally finding Emma, they overreact and this visibly freaks her out. Come on guys, last time I said to gently remind her of her past, not bombard her right away. Having a ton of strangers surround you and tell you such outlandish things is quite jarring. I'm glad she takes the chance to listen to everyone, but she just doesnt know these people well enough to suddenly hug them. I imagined a hug would've happened upon her recalling some of her memories somehow and feeling relived that she met the two boys she often once dreamt about, but oh well.

Norman takes this time to step in and ease some of the tension, saying how happy he is that Emma's alive and even reiterating some of the things he said to her during his shipment scene. While this chapter soon shows how well the escapees have adapted to the human world and changed, it also puts an emphasis on the boy's true personalities that they showed since the very beginning. I've already mentioned above how Ray stayed true to himself, about him being open and honest to the others with the truth and even his own feelings. With Norman, I don't know the word for him really, but his speech about their family and his feelings remind me of ch1/ep1 where we see him trying to calm Emma down after seeing what they did at the gate. He stayed by her side and remained hopeful even though he was just as scared. Right now, I get the same vibes. He's just as upset as their family upon learning Emma lost her memories, but he still wants her to be apart of their family.

Although it seems like a very rushed way of tying up loose ends, I'm happy to hear about how well the children have been adapting in the human world. They're attending school and following their passions. They all look so happy! The entire Lambda crew is healthy and Cislo even has a prosthetic leg! The medicine made from Adam's dna was successful and also helped those children from the mass production farms. Mike Ratri and the clan are actually being helpful and trustworthy. I absolutely love Norman's comment about Ayshe not killing him! It really makes me smile and I assume that means she's forgiven him.. maybe. Her dogs were indeed able to cross over to the human world too and now there's even more! Chris is finally awake! They seriously have to fill the poor boy in on so much news though.

I get it. It took the entire story for me to understand but now I get Norman's intense feelings. He's been infatuated by this girl since childhood. He told us/Ray his feelings at age 11 then "gave his life" to give her a better chance at survival. He kept living just for the slight possibly to see her again. After almost two years, they reunite, only for about a week or two before they all cross over into the human world and Emma is no where to be seen. Another two years pass and while they all find her, she's almost a completely difference person. Yet Norman's feelings remain so sincere for her that he accepts this new Emma. He lets her know that the bright future she wished for came true. (me? speaking of noremma? even im surprised)

Her head might not have the slightest idea who these people are, but her heart surely remembers! Emma's feelings for her family were so strong that they persisted throughout these entire two years, even after she stopped having those dreams about them. Deep down, and without even realizing it, she loves them so much that it makes her cry.

“Why am I... Even though I don't know them. Though I don't know anything. Though I can't remember. Why... Does it feel warm, but also so painful in my heart? I wanted to see you.”

Seeing everyone else get emotional and expressing their feelings to her right back and having all of them accept this new Emma.. yeah, that has me in tears! Demon god truly underestimated these kids and how deep their love for each other went. Emma's family was never going to give up looking for her because, thanks to her influence, they also didn't believe anything was impossible. “Screw destiny” indeed! (also we never did learn the old dude's name or Emma's new one hm? odd.)

Did Emma get her memories back? No. Did Ray pat her head again so I could die from nostalgia? No, because I'm still here. Did we get a fullscore hug like I originally hoped? No, sadly. The ending isn't picture perfect but honestly, this is still okay. Our precious girl is finally reunited with her family again. Most importantly, they're alive. The trio are teenagers about 15/16 years old now, which amazing since they once believed they wouldn't see a day past the age of 12. Yet here they are, living happy and free in the human world without fear and killing, which is exactly what Emma wished for.

I can't believe the manga is truly finished. It feels like it all went by so quick, but perhaps that's only because I haven't been in the fandom as long as others, like if you've been here since the manga started then I applaud you and can't imagine how sad this must be after four years. The anime is what caught my attention and my love for this series only grew when I jumped into the manga right after season one ended. I must have binged all available chapters at the time in like three days, all the way up to ch129. Since then I've waited patiently week after week to see how this suspenseful story would pan out for out lovable and very large cast of characters. Each new twist and cliffhanger made my brain crazy and stressed me out but it was so great to experience them with everyone.

Also, big thanks to all of you who share your comments on these reviews of mine! Even though I started writing them pretty late into the story and at the most stressful time, it was great to hear so much feedback and experience the exciting finish with everyone. The manga may have ended, but don't let that make the fandom quiet! We still have future manga volume releases to look forward to, the live-action movie that is still set for this December along with a live-action series that was also recently announced. Most importantly, season two of the anime is still scheduled for January 2021! You can bet I'll do reactions for each episode as I normally do with other anime! The series still has so much more content to give us, especially if the anime continues to recieve future seasons over the upcoming years, so of course I'll give my thoughts on all that I can.

I give all my thanks and appreciation to Shirai & Demizu for such a wonderful and suspenseful story, for all the memorable characters and the stunning artwork. The series has truly become my favorite. That's right, I said it! My favorite. TPN has taken over Black Lagoon as my favorite series. (Revy can still keep her spot as my favorite character but I'll be damned if Ray isn't a really really close second.)