#it feels cruel to speak nastily about them while they're not there with whay feels to me like unjustified anger | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

catfishofoldin99colours · 10 months

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I know I'm not the best at managing my emotions and I've bitched about people plenty in my time but it still always catches me off guard when my coworkers talk incredibly nastily about someone else in the office with what seems like reckless abandon, like.

Oh, you. You don't? Try and keep this to yourself? You don't consider this frustration a private thought? You just. Let these thoughts out, in the open, often to me specifically???

Can't quite tell if it's the eldest daughter thing that makes people vent to me or if I just have the Vibe that calls people who want to complain

Very odd. And not pleasant.

#catfish speaks #idk if this is something other people experience a lot #its not like oh everyone vents to me all the time #cos its not that #my actual friendships are based on open communication and if we vent its met with a degree of compassion and consent #like yeah sometimes we forget to ask but most of the time its a 'sorry i forgot to ask' 'no its ok it sounds like it sucks' thing #the important thing is that i care about these peoples frustrations and want to listen and help #with my coworkers its like. i dont know you that well. i didnt even know this was a frustration #and idk did i miss a cue they gave me that signalled they consider me safe to vent to?#cos if that was the case - i feel like im being dumped on but they probably see me as a safe person #and that mismatch isnt anyones fault but i think im the only one realising its a mismatch at all #cos when people do this it makes me uncomfortable #i personally dont want to bitch about the other people in the office #i like them. yeah they can get annoying. so does everyone. so do i.#it feels cruel to speak nastily about them while they're not there with whay feels to me like unjustified anger #but then the people venting may be seeing me as a safe person who they just want to listen to their troubles #and i understand that and empathise with that - everyone wants that!#i jusy dont understand that that is the transaction we're entering until it's actually happening #at which point i am unprepared and unresponsive #i don't want to agree with the bitching i am hearing. but i don't want to deny them their voice.#im also the worst at standing up and disagreeing with someonr especially if theyre upset #so i just noncomittally agree and dont really offer much until they stop talking to me #which. obviously doesnt solve the problem and potentially leaves a broken trust between us #WHICH WAS UNSPOKEN AND ASSUMED THE ENTIRE FRICKIN TIME #its. god.#i dont understand othr people i really don't #anyway. if this resonates pls let me know I'm so curious

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