#but then the people venting may be seeing me as a safe person who they just want to listen to their troubles

[vampstel]

Tfw you try to be nice and give someone advice online since you’re concerned for their safety but they take it the wrong way and get mad :’D

[catfishofoldin99colours]

I know I'm not the best at managing my emotions and I've bitched about people plenty in my time but it still always catches me off guard when my coworkers talk incredibly nastily about someone else in the office with what seems like reckless abandon, like.

Oh, you. You don't? Try and keep this to yourself? You don't consider this frustration a private thought? You just. Let these thoughts out, in the open, often to me specifically???

Can't quite tell if it's the eldest daughter thing that makes people vent to me or if I just have the Vibe that calls people who want to complain

Very odd. And not pleasant.

[yanderes-galore]

Hello again friend! I kept thinking about this when we were playing together. What if there was a survivor on a colony/space station of an alien infestation that happens the usual way: Some idiot infected with a chestburster comes into the formerly safe area. This survivor gets the said alien attatched to her and it follows her around. The xeno vents, stalks and runs with the survivor around. Of course the human learns to utilize this xeno to defend herself too, "Sic her on 'em" as we lovingly call it. ;)

Hello, my friend! Here you go :) Takes place on the Sevastopol like in the game! Here's the ideas I came up with! Ended up keeping it Gender-Neutral as it's mostly just me spilling ideas. Xenomorph is female though.

Also, yes, the title is meant to look like that. That's the name of the game according to Xbox.

Yandere! Aliens, Isolation Concept

Pairing: Animal/Pet-like

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Overprotective behavior, Alien pet (?), Violence/Murder, Kidnapping, Stalking, Forced companionship.

Most people are familiar with Aliens, Isolation, right?

You spend the whole game trying to survive a station invested with Xenomorphs.

For the first portion of the game you're chased by just one Xenomorph.

That's what this idea is based on.

You're trying to survive in the Sevastopol, roaming the halls and hiding in vents from people, androids, and aliens.

Except this time... the alien doesn't want to kill you.

She has other purposes for you.

It's unknown why this particular Xenomorph is so attached to you... but one thing is painfully clear.

She won't leave you alone.

Despite the terrifying aspect of this, you can use this to your advantage.

You can use audio lures and flares to call the Xenomorph into the area.

She naturally targets humans, although is she sees an android as a threat she'd attack that too.

Another way to call her is by your voice.

Simply screaming calls the beast to the area to cause chaos and death.

You are, surprisingly, the safest person in this station.

The main threat appears to be on your side for one reason or another.

As a result... she becomes like a weapon... an attack dog (alien?).

The Xenomorph always seems to know where you are, like she's remembered your scent.

No matter how many times you transport yourself around and between areas, you can hear her signature crawling in the vents.

Even if you knew the alien doesn't plan to kill you... you dread going under open vents.

Even with the help you don't find yourself comforted in the dark halls of this station.

You still use vents to hide and gather whatever supplies you can.

Wouldn't it be a neat idea if the Xenomorph found supplies and dropped them by you from vents.

You'll be standing by a vent, only for crafting materials to be dropped beside you in a saliva coated mess.

Quietly you thank your foreign helper and put together an item.

People are wary to target you, they've heard of a human being able to tame the alien creature roaming about.

Yet at the same time... you have access to good supplies....

Anyone who attacks you is met with the same end, a Xenomorph slashing and biting through their flesh.

Hell, even if you made friends, you can hear the Xenomorph hissing from the vents.

She wants to keep you alone.

The Xenomorph would only stay out of the way for so long.

Soon she'll feel she wants to keep her human safe and hers.

Just when you feel you're getting used to the Xenomorph, the tables turn.

She picks you up from a vent or pins you to drag you away.

She doesn't intentionally knock you out or hurt you, yet that may still happen by accident.

When you wake up you find yourself in mini nest within the station.

She doesn't take you to the reactor, she wants you alone.

You're surrounded by the strange Xenomorph resin the creatures make.

You can't move, the resin coating the walls and locking you in a room.

You... you really thought you would escape.

Yet the Xenomorph only chitters and hisses, nuzzling her oblong head against you as she curls around you.

Truth is, you were probably going to die here anywhere.

The alien may try to give you food and water, but you're on a sinking ship.

Having an alien be your protector in this place has a price to pay...

This time... it just so happens to be you.

[sophieinwonderland]

Decided to do a little vent.

Honestly i hate how big of a deal fakers are for sysmeds, like i don't think they really exist?..

Like... No? Like, they're litterally not??

It's like fakeclaiming depression, autism, adhd, etc. Esp for young people and minors. and generally, pretty "childlike" escapists who are into cartoons and etc and not oversharing photos and irl life. People really assume that people who spend a lot of time on fiction really can't ever dissociate and don't want to escape reality... Somehow. Idk ableism aimed at young people is so unreal i hate it, because they're actually MOST vulnerable to all abuse, but get dismissed SO MUCH by everyone just because they don't share all shit happening to them.

I saw this soooo much for depression like "oh these kids are just faking and romanticize it blah blah" when they're litterally coping and express feelings through art... In a healthy way? Never understood it.

Ocdd isn't really so funny and normal, even accomodations aren't so great, to fake it, being system isn't instant +1000 followers as they think. If person wanted to roleplay - they may just make roleplay account. And like?.. Like fictives can't be into various roleplays and interacting more as original, because it's familiar for them, and safe in a way? We litterally have singlets in roleplaying community who are like "i actually always play characters that are litterally me because i can't really play as very different person", why fictives can't be like that too, and enjoy it? Just because some fictives don't, and now this is a standart for all?.. Roleplaying is quite badass healthy coping mechanism that helps to improve empathy and understanding of others.

Communications only become harder for singlet if they try to pass as disordered system, and it... Doesn't pay off??? At all??? Like????? The fakeclaimer's paranoia litterally doesn't do any good for any system, only make systems feel worse and ruminating about how their trauma must not be enough, imagined, and alters are just imaginery... They're formed to help, and you litterally may hurt systems by saying shit about them being imaginary, just as you may hurt adhd/depressive person by saying that they're just lazy and need to get over them, without any help, and medication are just placebo.

And faking real, horrifying disorder symptoms, actually takes A LOT of research and acting talant and skill, i would actually APPLAUSE to person who would play disordered system good and dedicate hard work to it. I would love to see actors and authors who are interested in research and can play various system characters, and conciously remember how memory in systems works, and don't get lost in it, and use meta-knowlegde for alters who don't have it. It may be easier to lose track when system live in one body, esp masking as singlet.

Solid take.

Really, the whole hysteria around fakers is largely overblown. The idea of mass amounts of fakers have always been a scapegoat used by ableist doctors to dismiss people with DID, but numbers have never supported this, and much of what people claim are signs of faking are just normal human variation.

[rindragon-from-twewy]

Y'all never guess who the brainrot's been about today boiiiis-

Headcannon dump incoming; (spoilers for the ending) (I'm writing these from a post game perspective)

1: the most grandpa pyjamas you've ever seen. Wears his mask to sleep but wears one of those girlie-pop eyemasks with the big fake lashes over top so people know he's asleep (or at the very least, can't see)

2: Rollerskates round his penthouse to pass the time (occasionally), often blasting music through large stereos and his playlist is a terrible mix of classical orchestra and pop from between the 1970's-2010's

3: other hobbies include balloon crafts, card/magic tricks and decorating new masks <3

4: Ofc ik this one isn't real the way I drew it here but I like to think that he was sort of... cattle branded? With the 0001, a forever mark that he is the first and only 'successful' homunculus. Maybe I'd re-place it on the back of his neck? Since we never see there, canonically.

5: His favourite Pokemon is Mewtwo. He cried when he watched the first pokemon movie, balling at the "I see now that the circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are". Like he called up Yuma right after fully sobbing about how "Mewtwo's just like me fr-" and then didn't shut up about it, so much so that Martina got him the shirt I drew him in

6: I feel like he wants friends but is just... deeply socially awkward. Now that all the secrets are out etc etc, he has no real reason to hide anymore but... there's just no real way for him to get out and socialize. It ends up with him considering Yomi's ex-lackeys to be the closest things he has to friends, since I like to believe they all work directly under him now.

7: Coming off number 6, I imagine him going to Yomi's jail cell to vent to him and then intentionally take the opposite of any advice Yomi gives him. This ultimately backfires as sometimes Yomi does actually give good advice simply in hopes it'll stop Makoto from coming back.

8: He doesn't actually know how to look after himself very well. Beyond keeping himself clean, that is. He has people clean his house and do all his cooking, he's got a decent sense of the value of money but doesn't really mind throwing his own saving's about on random whims. Does this mean he tries to buy people's friendships through gifts? Occasionally. Does it work? ...... sometimes!

9: Ok so I assume we're all in agreement that either Makoto or Yuma had to die their hair- I think it's safe to assume Yuma was the one to cut his hair short but I think maybe Makoto's the one to dye it. I think No.1 wouldn't have been dumb enough to go "I know, I'll dye my hair purple, nobody will notice the roots showing and come to the conclusion I erased my memory on perpous!" Cuz he's not that dumb- (I hope-) So, you may be asking. Why blonde? Cuz he's a barbie girl in a barbie world, obviously.

10: So I spent the whole time playing raincode like "Yuma's so kirigiri and naegi's kid or something-" And ofc I knew it'd stay a headcannon and not be real cannon but it's stuck. So yeah, Makoto named himself after who he remembered to be his father. I think, since Makoto wants to be a good person, he called himself after the good-est person he knew at the time.

This isn't all the rot but if u read all that then just know this is all eventually gunna be included in fanfics I plan to write-

I am a writer I promise I just don't have the movitation rn-

[lullabyes22-blog]

Hi! How's your day? Could I have Arcane Characters (Silco, Sevika, Vi, Jinx) x reader who has a bubbly personality? I am optimistic, always smiling, friendly, nice, calm, I like everyone, I am a great listener, I always help my loved ones and make sure they are safe ❤️🌸🥰

I ❤️ you

My day is going great, thank you ❤️

Silco: A raised eyebrow paired with a rueful headshake. How in Kindred's name did you end up paired off with a monster like him? You must have a screw loose in your head. Or he must, for indulging in this little dalliance when he ought to have nipped it in the bud on the first meeting. There is no way your innocence and sweetness will survive him, without giving way to disillusionment - or an untimely death. He's in charge of bloody business; that sort always leaves stains, literal and metaphoric. "My little lamb," he'll say, knuckles lightly skimming your cheek, "it's best you graze in safer pastures."

Sevika: A chortle of laughter, because - are you for real? What business does such a bundle of sickeningly sweet fluff have on this side of the Lanes? Thank Janna you're cute, or she'd be tempted to punch you, just to see if you bleed rainbows. As it is, you're not safe at any of her hangouts, and her regular social circle would eat you alive. Silco is also warning her that a paramour that naïve may be used as leverage against her. Still, it seems a shame to give you up. She hasn't had a listening ear to vent to in ages. "Back to Topside, sweetie. It's for the best."

Vi: Congratulations. You are just what the doctor ordered. Between unstable living environments, prison, and juggling a dozen different hats for a dozen different people, this girl is tired - and deeply in need of some chipper stability. Your helpful streak and your willingness to step up during a crisis are also greatly appreciated. She can handle problems on her own, but it's so much better when there's someone backing her up. Initially, this reliance on you might make her wary, and pull back a little, since she can't let herself trust it. Once she does, however, she'll be rock-solid in showing her appreciation: "Where," she'll drawl, half-joking, "have you been all my life?"

Jinx: You're a robot. You must be a robot. Nobody's that kind and chipper and patient all the time. Like a cat testing boundaries, she will go out of her way to antagonize you, just to see what lurks beneath that sugary façade. Once it sinks in that it's not a façade, she may freak out and avoid you altogether. She's been bad before; she could be bad again, and do something awful to hurt you. Once it's clear she can rely on you, she will cling like a kudzu vine. You may end up becoming a quasi-maternal figure, because she needs a lot of love and attention, and will seek affirmation for every teensy thing. "If you leave me -" warned with a glittering grin, "-I'll go back to bein' bad."

That's a threat, not a plea.

.-.b

[murruspins]

Welcome to my blog!

Hello!! Welcome to murruspins :3!

This is a special interest blog, however it also kind of acts like a diary. I write down what I’m thinking or hyperfixating on, same goes with my regular interests! This blog will also have alot of alterhuman content, as it’s a big part of my identity!

About the owner of this blog…

My name is Murruyu! I’m a transfem enby, and would prefer if you used they/it/xe on me aswell as fem + neutral terms! If you don’t respect my pronouns, I’ll simply block you, no biggie! 🤍

My special interests are mcyt (hermitcraft & life series specifically), horror, metal music and bio! When I say bio and horror, I mean all aspects. I love horror games, movies, shows, etc. And I love all biology paths/subtypes! (Eg: wildlife bio, botany, palaeontology, and more!)

I’m the host of a minor bodied DID system, however I won’t get into that much on this blog, as this is my personal blog! However, I will talk about our physical disabilities because they impact my everyday life, and this is a diary blog after all! [I will mainly talk about my EDS and CFS]

As I said before.. I am an alterhuman! More specifically, here is a link to all my kintypes!

This list may be updated/edited in the future, but for now, these are all of my (known) kintypes! Some stronger than others. More specifically, I have a super strong connection to the feline clade, more so than my other kintypes. Obviously, due to being alterhuman, I do not identify as human. I instead identify as my kintypes, I may post about my alter-humanity frequently 🫶

I am ALWAYS looking for moots/friends!! Click here to see my interests + adult mutuals are okay, just no dms!

DNI/BYI

DNI:

• People who hate on ANY of my special interests. No offence, but you’re not welcome here, this is my safe space! [PS: being afraid of horror or animals is not the same as hating on them, if you have a phobia of something that’s completely fine! Just don’t insult my spintrest on my page 🤍]

• Anti alterhuman, Anti Age regression, Anti pet regression

• Endogenic systems, Profic/Proship/Darkship/anything that fits into that category.

• FURBY BLOGS!!!!! Furby centred blogs/Blogs with furbys as their theme/pfp dni. Moots r okay but please add a warning whenever you post them 😭🫶. I’m terrified of those little things.

BYI:

• I’m autistic, I need tonetags! If you’re going to ask anything, I’d appreciate you using tonetags so I can understand you better! :3

• Adults may not ask to be my friends, No offence, just for boundary and comfort reasons, I am a minor after all. Mutuals are fine!

• I generally do not engage in discourse, if that’s something you’d like to know before following! This blog is focused on being diary, alterhuman and interest themed!!

• This is my main blog! If I’m active, it’s probably here. But my side blogs are…

> @liostims , my stim blog

> @lovesicksyndicate , our sys blog

> @faunafeature , my animal info dump blog

> @kiyoscove , my agere blog

> @murrupurrs , my petre blog

… Please keep in mind many of these blogs may be inactive, as this is my main!

Finishing up/Extras…

. . . Emoji games!

How these games work; ask via the ask option, and write an emoji + any other info you’d like, and I’ll answer! Just a small game for fun!

🐾 , info dump about a random animal I’m fixating on at the time! (Please include if you don’t want a specific animal due to a fear, for example: bugs).

🐈 , song of the day! ask and I’ll give you a song that’s been stuck in my mind recently, or just a random song off my playlist!

🐍 , daily check in! I’ll give you a small rant about my day so far, and tell you how I’ve been recently! (I’ll try to keep it positive.)

"(Therian/biology/metal/anything related to my blog) culture is…" asks are also always appreciated!! I love seeing them, and I love interacting with people!!

Blog tags . . . !!

#murru mews 🐾 | my general tag! Diary entries!

#murru hisses 🐍 | vent posts

#murru’s asks : replies to my asks!

#murru’s rants : rants!! Either in response to the emoji games, or just to infodump :]

#murru’s playlist : anything to do with music!

#murru’s toybox : anything to do with my collections!! I collect a lot of things, so this tag will be full of things in my collection :]

#murru’s games : an additional tag, just for my emoji games!

PS: blog creation date.. Jan 30th 2024!

Thank you for reading !

. . . Enjoy your travels, dear friend!

[etherealspacejelly]

hi dad, i'm having some internal conflict. i've always been a really anxious person (which is probably due to undiagnosed anxiety disorders) and i've never really "fit in." i've been treated as weird all my life. i've never understood tone and i get in a lot of trouble with my parents for this (even though i've explained i can't control it), i go nonverbal for brief periods of time occassionally, loud noises and bright lights cause me pain like extreme headaches, i always feel the need to follow self-created routines in order to feel safe, i don't understand social boundaries all too well, i intensely hyperfixate, i'm extremely hyperempathetic, etc. i've never understood why i'm the way i am. then i started learning more about autism and i think i may have it. many of my autistic friends seem to think so.

but my parents don't believe me and don't like me researching mental health stuff. they don't think i'm "autistic enough" because my mom used to work with autistic kids who were almost always nonverbal and on a more extreme end of the spectrum. i mask all the time too, as a defense mechanism since i get in so much trouble for misunderstanding. hell, my parents won't even get me an official anxiety diagnosis (even though i've had symptoms since the moment the signs can appear) because they think "labels don't matter."

and the big problem that comes along with this is, i don't want to self diagnose and seem disrespectful to diagnosed autistic people. i've done a lot of research and gotten a lot of opinions from neurodivergent people in my life, but i still feel fake because i have no access to a diagnosis. so many people have told me to try to get one and my parents completely refuse.

is it okay to self diagnose? will diagnosed people find this disrespectful? i'm not exactly sure how to go about this. it'll most likely be several years at best before i can get medically diagnosed.

tldr; i may be autistic but i have no access to a diagnosis and feel guilty about self diagnosing. any advice?

thank you and sorry if this was too vent-ish, i just wanted to see if you had any thoughts <3 feel free to ignore this ask if it's too overwhelming /gen

baby. honey. sweetpea. let me tell you something

autistic people actually dont care if you self diagnose. in fact, many of us are self diagnosed. diagnoses can be inaccessible for many reasons, and its perfectly understandable if you cant or dont want to get one

i can absolutely relate to you. my mum works with disabled kids too, and insisted that i couldn't be autistic because she "would have known". she considers herself an expert, but somehow missed all the signs in me. i guess because i am also quite high masking.

you definitely sound autistic to me, and if other neurodivergent people who know you agree then you probably are. autistic people can sense each other lol

i remember once when i friend of mine came to me and was like "hey btw im autistic" and i was like "yeah i know. you told me" and they were like. "um. no i couldnt have told you i only got diagnosed a few days ago and this is the first time we've spoken since then" and i was like. oh. i just Sensed it, you know? i just fuckin knew

so yes. you can self diagnose. thats perfectly fine. and if anyone tells you that you cant or that you're somehow "harming the autistic community" you can tell them to fuck off. self diagnosis does not harm the autistic community in any way, but it can really benefit people like you.

i hope someday you can get the accommodations you need and deserve. in the meantime, please give yourself grace. you're trying your best. and im proud of you, ok?

[palettepainter]

GENERAL + COMMISSIONS UPDATE

*Trigger warnings for mentions of depression and mental health overall, read at your own caution*

I have now been working at my new job for just over three weeks now, and while I've settled into the routine, I'm not someone who does especially well with change or other sensory variables such as unexpected noise (which at my work place there can be quite a few). This often leaves me quite exhausted after my shifts, so there is a likely chance there will be a longer wait time on commissions going forward. I don't like to leave people waiting on commissions, so I'm sorry in advance for this, but to prevent from burning myself out from overworking myself sadly this is what needs to be done in order for me to not get overwhelmed, and for my commissions to be finished to the best of my ability

Second order of business relating to commissions! My commissions for May are now closed! Commissions will be opening again in June as per usual, and then in July there will be limited slots. I'll be going away with family again in July to see other relatives, so slots will be limited. When we're closer to July I'll have a clearer idea of how much free time I'll have and how much of it I can reasonable dedicate to commissions

And lastly, on a slightly more serious note, I haven't been doing great..

I had a mental health related phone call at the start of the week, which I knew I would be having, but it was a lot more stressful and saddening then I thought it would be. It's put a lot more questions in my head then it has answers, has opened up the possibility of medication (something I have tried once for anxiety, but stopped once my parents found out), and has even put new possibilities for why I feel the way I do/have that has completely altered the way I now view myself and the way I've been carrying myself for over the past ten years

When I first learnt about depression it was shown as this big scary thing that only really really sad people with horrible lives could have, and so growing up, I didn't think I would ever fall into that group of people. It's a word that's been on my mind for a few years now, but it's never been something I've sought a diagnosis for. Ontop of not having a support circle in place, my parents also have - in a blunt way - a very narrow view of what depression is and who can have it. There views can be summed up as "This person went through something really really bad and now they have depression" so depression has also never been a word I've ever felt safe to really bring into the conversation with my parents (as well as other, more serious mental health issues)

The last time I ever spoke to my parents about mental health, I was told that I had "the easiest fucking life", and that's something I've carried for nearly 8 years. It's the biggest reason why I haven't really sought out a lot of professional help until last year, and even then I still believed I didn't really have it bad enough beyond very high anxiety

The call I had said that depression could very well be a possibility...and that really hurt to hear

I don't know if it was my parents, if it was my teachers at school, if it's the whole image we've built around depression that you need to be "broken" in order to be depressed - but being told I had the easiest life, being told indirectly I didn't have it bad enough, going all these years building up walls and rules and routines and all the emotions with it thinking I didn't have it bad enough.

To then be told I maybe COULD have been depressed all this time kind of fucks with your head

(I do want to make this especially clear that you don't need to have it "bad enough" in order to be depressed, anxious or with any other mental issue/disorder. Yes you can be in a bad situation, or go through a bad situation/s, but there is no ultimate "bad enough" scenario.)

If I've been posting random, small vent-ish related posts (I made one about gathering incorrect quotes for OC's as a form of self care recently) it's because outside of my socials it's been a very scary and confusing week. Home and my family are not places or people I feel emotionally safe to talk to about these issues, hence why I had the phone call in the first place, but obviously I can't be on the phone talking to a doctor/professional all the time, so any confusion, bitterness or any other feeling that's bringing me down I've been focusing on my art. I've been thinking it's not good enough lately, or it's not getting as many likes or comments compared to other artists, or that people don't like it at all

I have another phone call scheduled in the next few months, and with what I was told from the first one I had, I'm very anxious for the second one. This is something I'm doing entirely on my own, the reason I'm even writing as much as I am is because my tumblr is the only place in which no body from my family knows of. This is an update yes but it's also a way for me to unload everything that I've been wanting to talk about without directly putting myself in an awkward situation at home.

Hopefully, if anyone with similar experiences is reading, could you offer some advice? Or just reassurance?? I'd really like to know that this isn't a unique experience and that other people have gone through this and survived. This is all very scary and new, I might come back and censor or cutt all of this later, I don't really know how to end this off neatly after such a heavy update, but yeah.

Art may be slow, I've been posting for the sake of posting mostly because I don't want to leave you guys with nothing for who knows how long. But I think I might take a break from posting/messaging for a few days, I truthfully don't feel great, and that's not an attitude I want to have when I'm creating

If you made it to the end of the post thank you for reading this far and sorry it was a bit of a downer

[deathmetalunicorn1]

Hi! Could you make Jack, Adam and Odin react to a teenage reader who cuts frequently and when they hug him he breaks down in tears? Today I cried at school after a person hugged me, for a long time I wanted some affection and that moment completely broke me

Oh, my sweet love, if I could, I would wrap you in the fluffiest blanket I could find, feed you your favorite foods, and smother you in so many hugs you would need to get a crowbar to pry me off.

If any of you are ever in a position like this, please reach out for help, even if it’s just to talk, there are people out there who do care about each and every one of you. I know firsthand that asking for help can be scary but take the plunge and do it. It may take a long while, it’s not an easy thing to come back from, but reaching out and asking for help is the first step. I know you can do it.

-Jack- He knew that you were hurting, both inside and out, hutting yourself, and he wanted you to trust him to come to him, to ask for help. He could see that you were afraid, and when he asked you if everything was all right and you pulled away, he almost instantly had you in his arms, hugging you close to his chest. He let you cry, feeling you clutching at his shirt, hugging him as he whispered softly, “You’re safe. You’re safe here with me. Nothing can hurt you.” Once you were calmed down enough that he could maneuver you to a chair, he got you a cool rag to dab at your face before tending to your wounds, treating each one with the upmost care. Jack would never make you feel like a burden; he would make you feel safe so you could tell him anything. Would sit and talk to you for hours, just so you could vent and talk to him; wouldn’t force you to go to therapy unless you wanted to go, but will suggest it, and if you don’t, he will insist you talk to him.

-Adam- As soon as he sees the self-inflicted injuries on your body, he had you instantly in his arms, hugging you so tightly it was almost painful for you. He would hold you for hours and let you let out all of your emotions, will take every tear, your shouting, everything you’re willing to give, he will listen. Will cry with you, feeling like he had failed you, but will never let you feel guilty, this wasn’t your fault. Now all he could do was stand by your side and be with you every step of the way, will insist on getting you help, but will not force you into it, he is willing to go at your pace, taking things step by step. Hates that you hurt yourself but will never make it feel like you did something bad, will never make you feel like a burden. You are one of his precious children, and as a father, it’s his job to guide and protect you, to help you, no matter how long it takes.

-Odin- Had seen you hurting yourself through his crows, and instantly went to your side. He hugged you tightly, letting you break down in his arms, letting you cry and scream out every emotion you could process at the moment. Once he was able to calm you down, talking you through your panic attack and/or breakdown, he tended to your wounds, wrapping each of them, whispering soft words to you, calming you down slowly. Would make you drink plenty of ice water to stay hydrated, and would feed you anything you wanted, but would insist you eat. He will even sit and eat with you, he won’t leave your side at all, refusing to let you be alone. You needed him right now, and he was going to honor your desires. Never raises his voice when speaking to you, never making you feel like you’re a failure for doing something like this, but he will make you talk to him, he wants to know anything and everything, because he wants to help you. He cares about you so much and will always be there for you.

[vampstel]

Okay, I’m just gonna rip the bandage off. Here’s a long post I wrote a while ago after seeing a comic about someone’s experiences with asexuality.

This is a vent/rant so beware!! Warning for suggestive stuff since you know, this is sexuality talk :P

I’ve been openly asexual for a pretty long time now. It’s not something I talk about very often; I tend to just say it in passing and move on since I get this indescribable “ick” feeling due to the acephobia I’ve received in the past (and because I’ve been sexualized against my own will in the past as well).

I’m trying my best to get rid of that “ick” feeling but after recent events, I feel like I’ve gone back to square one. AKA: I feel humiliated about my sexuality and think it’s invalid.

I’m aceflux, meaning my asexuality can fluctuate but not by much. I may be demiromantic as well but I’m still unsure of that.

Personally, I usually feel very apathetic when it comes to sensual things. Sometimes, that apathy can turn into repulsion; Very extreme repulsion that can make me nauseous. Overall, I just don’t feel sexual attraction and when I do, it’s very minor and at some points… I wouldn’t even consider it sexual attraction? Hell, I don’t even understand what sexual attraction is and why/what people generally find sexually gratifying. Sexual shit flies over my head all the time unless it’s 100% obvious in my eyes.

But anyway… I’m a very aesthetic heavy guy, you could say. It’s really hard to describe it but when I see people, specifically men, I feel attracted to them in a tertiary sense. I like the concept of affection. The thought of being in a close relationship makes me happy. I find men pleasing to the eye and just have a connection with them that can’t be explained. It’s not exactly romantic, nor is it exactly sexual or even platonic. It’s like a secret 4th thing, basically.

That’s all fine and dandy. I’ve accepted that part of my sexuality but what I’ve been very miffed about is openly and unabashedly expressing my attraction (or whatever it is) with men in my art. Which hasn’t happened in years. I’ve been proud of being gay but recently I just feel… Unsafe?

As you know, I draw men a lot. Usually gender nonconforming men, femboys, and muscular men. I sometimes draw art that can be suggestive due to the clothes being revealing, but I do not get sexual gratification from it and it distresses me immensely when people say I do. Hence why I freaked the fuck out about the uh… incident on Twitter that shall not be named.

I know I said I’m fine. That I’ve moved past the whole “people thinking I’m addicted to porn” thing and I have. I think?— After all, it doesn’t make me upset anymore remembering it. However, I won’t deny that the situation has reopened some wounds that’ll take a long time to heal again which sucks.

I’m the problem here, not any other external source. At least right now 💀

I just keep feeling invalid about who I am. Sometimes, I find myself drawing art I like (and think is tame) and suddenly think “…Maybe this is too much. This is fetishizing.” or “I should probably scrape this completely. It might be sexual since I drew a beefy guy in a dress.”

And since I’m blind to sexual and even suggestive things, I get confused and upset. What am I allowed to depict in my art that makes people understand I’m not a faker or have a ‘broken sexuality’? How do I become the “ideal depiction of an asexual guy” that’ll appease myself and the internet? Do I show my character’s skin? Do I hide their assets and make them less curvy or muscular?

And what labels or jokes am I allowed to say that won’t have me or anyone else thinking “Oh yeah this guy’s a fucking freak and should be deplatformed”?

I don’t care what people think of me, usually. I don’t care if people hate me. But nowadays I feel unsafe even in the safe spaces I’ve made for myself and that’s what hurts.

I know and accept that there will always be people who think I’m a freak. There will always be people who think I’m not actually asexual and I’m just saying that to get away with making mildly suggestive content. But the issue is, I’m starting to think I’m a freak by proxy and since I’m repulsed about anything sexual, I’m becoming repulsed about myself and my work.

It’s taken years for me to get comfortable with my unordinary attraction to men. It’s taken even longer for me to get used to the basic parts of the human body and showing off skin IRL and in art without feeling nauseous. And now it feels like I’m trying to get all that progress back again. Just because my dumb brain thinks I’m “broken” after being harassed online a month or so ago.

I could write so much more but this is so long already. I think I may as well just make this topic a special rant video for Pride month. I’m not sure though.

I don’t know how to end this post, especially on a positive note, but just know that I’m trying real hard to get back to being unabashedly me.

I’m probably going to exercise using the labels I use more often to get more accustomed to them without anyone (myself included) thinking “he’s a weirdo!!”. I’m also just gonna up the gender nonconformity themes in my art as well. Shit’s been rough but I’m still hanging and coping with the help of my OCs :3

If you’re asexual, or just struggling with accepting yourself in general. Just know you’re valid. You’re cool. I know that’s a stereotypical thing to say but I mean it. Don’t let your stupid head think you’re a freak. Don’t be like me, is what I’m saying LOL

It’s bad and unhealthy. It’s easier said than done but so long as you slowly build up self acceptance, you’re doing great. And you shouldn’t let people tear you down.

[stewpid-soup]

VENT CW!! STAY SAFE!!

anyone else find it exhausting to just enjoy things?

I don’t want to support people or companies that are actively doing things that are bad (racism, homophobia, defending SA, etc etc). but it’s so mentally draining to look through all of this terrible shit and not be able to enjoy things bc of their creators or ppl associated with it

i mean, i don’t support dream. i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again. I don’t support dream or the dteam as a whole - but the dsmp was such a big comfort to me through quarantine, and even now i still love the storyline and the characters.

HP, well that’s self explanatory. JKR is just a shit person and i’m not gonna give her my money bc i enjoy the plot of HP. I just take fanon on its own for the most part. I own the books and the films already (my family loves HP and has for a long time, since before JKR was outed as a transphobe) so i don’t need to buy anything from her. HP was a huge part of my childhood and the thought of not interacting with any content related to it makes me so sad, because i still love it even now.

and as controversial as it may be, i’ve enjoyed hazbin and helluva boss for years now. it was another comfort during quarantine, and i watched it with friends and got to bond over it. i do not like vivziepop or support her, and it’s exhausting to see all this back and forth about her online bc it’s so confusing. I love these shows and it makes me so happy that I get to see hazbin come together after waiting so long, and the same goes for helluva boss. of course there can be improvements to the way vivziepop writes some characters, but i still love these shows so much. it hurts my heart to feel like i can’t enjoy the content because the creator is such a bad person.

and then the number of musicians i’ve had to stop listening to because they turned out to be shitty people. or actors i avoided watching content of because they’re bad people (especially when the list of ppl who support Israel came out- of course im not supporting anyone on there, but some of the ppl on there just rlly hurt my heart because ive enjoyed their content for so long)

i know there’s not really any way to avoid this, as people are complex and can be an asshole w/o you knowing. funding people like this isn’t something i want or care to do, so of course i actively avoid it. but I just don’t know what to do when it comes to this.

a friend told me that it’s sort’ve about picking and choosing things, because you never know what people are really like. they said that with the state of the world, it’s important to stay educated but don’t let shitty people get in the way of things you enjoy. i’m just at the point where i feel like i can’t enjoy anything because anytime i get stuck in a rabbit hole of content, i see people going back and forth about who should be cancelled and who actually isn’t a bad person. cancel culture is one of the worst things about the internet, and it just makes interacting with fandoms even more toxic than it already is.

ig this is just a rant talking about comforts i have that i feel like i can’t enjoy anymore because of cancel culture and just like..people being people? i’m just so tired of finding something i enjoy and then learning out that they are or possibly could be doing/supporting something bad and just— it makes me feel so guilty because i don’t want to indirectly/directly hurt anyone. i know what i believe in and what i do and don’t support, at least for the most part (still learning everyday atp), but it doesn’t make it any easier to part with things i hold so dearly in my heart.

does anyone else feel similarly? if so, what have you found that helps or at least is a comfortable middle ground?

idk bro, my life is so exhausting with everything i deal with in real life- so to feel like i can’t even find comfort in my silly little shows anymore is really depressing. my mental health is not doing well lmfaooo

[tavs-kin-korner]

rEQUESTS ARE: cLOSED (COME BACK SOON!)

iNBOX: 27

hI THERE, tHIS IS A KIN HELP BLOG RUN BY tAVROS! tHIS IS A SAFE PLACE FOR FICTIONKINS, oTHERKINS, iRLS, fICTIVES, tHERIANS, oTHERHEARTED, cOPINGLINKS, AND MANY MORE!! (sEE DNI AT END OF POST,)

i WANT THIS TO BE A SAFE PLACE FOR MANY, sO i HAVE VERY FEW LIMITS ON SOURCES! aLTHOUGH, i HAVE RECENTLY CREATED A BLACKLIST WHICH CAN BE SEEN BELOW, i DO HAVE THE RIGHT TO DECLINE A REQUEST IF I AM UNCOMFORTABLE WITH IT! i MAY NOT KNOW A SOURCE VERY WELL, sO IF YOUR SOURCE IS NOT ON MY SOURCE LIST, pLEASE BE MORE SPECIFIC!

i AM OK WITH MAKING STIMBOARDS ETC, wITH THEMES OF BL00D/G0R3/W3AP0NRY/HORROR! tHEY WILL BE POSTED BELOW THE CUT AND HAVE WARNINGS, sO OTHERS WHO MAY BE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THOSE THEMES CAN BE SAFE, }:)

wHAT i DO HERE!

-sTIMBOARDS

-mOODBOARDS

-fASHION KITS

-cARE KITS

-pRIDE ICONS

-dOODLES/SKETCHES (fULL WORKS ARE COMMISSIONS ONLY,,, sORRY!)

-nAME/PRONOUN SUGGESTIONS

-kINFESSIONS (pLEASE SPECIFY IF IT IS A CONFESSION! tALK ABOUT YOUR EXPERIENCES, eTC,)

-kIN CALLS (pLEASE SPECIFY IF IT IS A KIN CALL! tELL US THE SOURCE, aGE RANGE, oR ANY SPECIFIC PEOPLE YOU'RE LOOKING FOR!)

-kIN LETTERS (pLEASE SPECIFY IF IT IS A LETTER! mAKE SURE TO ADDRESS THE RECIPIENT AND SIGN OFF! mAYBE EVEN SPECIFY THE SOURCE SO i CAN TAG PROPERLY!)

-kIN ADVICE (pLEASE SPECIFY IF YOU ARE VENTING/LOOKING FOR ADVICE! fEEL FREE TO VENT IN THE ASKS/ASK QUESTIONS, i'LL TRY MY BEST TO HELP! }:D)

-sURPRISE ME (i'LL PICK ANY OFF THE LIST AND MAKE A NICE SURPRISE FOR YOU!)

-pOKEMON TEAM

-aESTHETIC ICONS (pROVIDES 3, PROVIDE AN AESTHETIC FOR ME TO BASE IT OFF OF, oR YOU CAN ASK ME TO PICK FOR YOU!)

-pLAYLIST (pROVIDES 5 SONGS, iF YOUR SOURCE IS NOT ON THE FOLLOWING LIST, pLEASE PROVIDE EXTRA INFORMATION ABOUT YOU AND YOUR SOURCE!)

-rECIPE KIT (6 RECIPES, pLEASE INCLUDE SPECIFICATIONS ON FOODS TO INCLUDE/AVOID!)

-hOME DECOR KIT

-vIDEO PLAYLIST (pROVIDES 5 VIDEOS, pLEASE SPECIFY WHAT TYPES OF VIDEOS (ASMR, aNIMATIONS, eTC,) yOU'D LIKE ME TO INCLUDE/AVOID!)

-tITLES (5 TITLES)

-wALLPAPER (540 X 960, fIT FOR A PHONE BACKGROUND) (1 WALLPAPER, pLEASE SPECIFY **SPECIFIC** DIMENSIONS IF YOU PLAN TO USE IT FOR A DIFFERENT DEVICE, iNCLUDE SPECIFIC AESTHETICS/OTHER CHARACTERS IF YOU'D LIKE THEM, iF NOT i WILL DO WHAT i THINK FITS BEST,)

sOURCES i KNOW BEST!

hOMESTUCK, yOUR fAVORITE mARTIAN, oMORI, pOKEMON, sPLATOON/sPLATOON MANGA, mY lITTLE pONY, tHE lEGEND oF zELDA, mARIO, cHAINSAW mAN, gORILLAZ, sPARKLECARE hOSPITAL, aNIMAL cROSSING, kIRBY, eNA, hELLUVA bOSS, bLUEY, gRAVITY fALLS, hOLLOW kNIGHT, fIVE nIGHTS aT fREDDY'S, bENDY AND THE iNK mACHINE, cUPHEAD, sPOOKY mONTH, fRIDAY nIGHT fUNKIN', sTRANGER tHINGS, bLACK bUTLER, sONIC tHE hEDGEHOG, lITTLEST PET SHOP, dEMON sLAYER, sUICIDE bOY, dOLL eYE, lINK cLICK, rICK AND mORTY, mY hERO aCADEMIA, tOTAL dRAMA, cHIKN nUGGIT, mADNESS cOMBAT, jUJUTSU kAISEN, aCE aTTORNEY, tHE aMAZING dIGITAL cIRCUS, tANKMEN, hIVESWAP, sALLY fACE, mETALOCALYPSE, oK kO, rEGRETEVATOR, dEAD pLATE, nEEDY sTREAMER oVERLOAD, pICO'S sCHOOL,

bLACKLIST:

dSMP (i KNOW i USED TO DO THIS DESPITE NEVER BEING INTO IT OR KNOWING ANYTHING ABOUT IT, bUT i DO NOT FEEL COMFORTABLE ANYMORE WITH THE RECENT EVENTS, i AM NO LONGER DOING IT AS A WHOLE BECAUSE i DO NOT HAVE ENOUGH INFORMATION ON THE OTHER MEMBERS), tHE mAGIC sCHOOL bUS (pERSONAL REASONS), aLFRED'S pLAYHOUSE, fACTKIN (FACTIVES ARE FINE) AND ENDOGENIC SYSTEMS,

aNON LIST!: 🧡

sTUFF ABOUT ME! }:D

i AM FICTIONKIN/ID OF tAVROS nITRAM (hOMESTUCK), aND i HAVE MANY OTHERS, aS WELL AS IRLS AND COPINGLINKS! i AM A RED FOX THERIAN AND DEMONKIN! i AM BISEXUAL AND TRANS! i USE HE/BULL/TAUR/TROLL (AND MANY MORE) PRONOUNS!

dNI: bASIC DNI (hOMOPHOBIA, tRANSPHOBIA, rACISM, aBLEISM, fACISM, pEDOS/mAPS, zOOS, eTC,), aNTI-kIN, aNTI-tHERIAN, aNTI-fURRY, aNTI-xENOGENDER/nEOGENDER, aNTI-mCYT, aNTI-hOMESTUCK, aNTI-aGE REGRESSION/NSFW aGE REGRESSION, fACTKIN, eNDOS, pROSHIP, kINK BLOGS, xENOSATANISM, (mAY ADD MORE IN THE FUTURE,)

tHANKS FOR READING! lOOKING FORWARD TO REQUESTS! };)

jOIN THE SERVER, iF YOU'D LIKE!

[sophieinwonderland]

this is gonna be a bit of a long and vent-y ask, so sorry, but... regarding all the shit with syspunk and whatnot-

man, this sucks.

all of this.

i have two options.

fight against hateful assholes, fight for our existence, fight to be heard, knowing that some of these people are just going to use this as a reason to hate me more, never knowing how many of these people are ones i managed to get to think, for even just a moment, about our existence maybe being a thing, and how many of these people i just provoked more. never knowing how much i "won," worrying that i may have just set us back instead of pushed us forward.

or stay silent. never calling people out, never trying to cite sources, always triple checking that i'm not breaking some random person's dni just in case, being careful about every little step i take in the hopes that i'll be "one of the good ones." i'll get to say that i didn't break a dni, i didn't break a boundary, i didn't invade a safe space. i'll get to have that as something to fall back on, i'll be able to say "see? i do respect you, i deserve a bit of respect too."

but the reality is neither of these are good options. both of these don't win. if i have the courage to speak out anyways, speak out in spite of that fear, then i can be one of those that people point to. i could be someone's example of "LOOK ANOTHER ONE, INVADING OUR TAGS!!!" i don't want to do that. plus i know that syscourse can genuinely be triggering for people. if i invade a space i deem to be hateful enough to warrant me entering anyways, and that ends up just hurting someone who just really wanted a space outside of syscourse, then that sucks. that sucks really bad. maybe i'm the bad guy in that situation. i don't wanna be the bad guy.

but it's not like i wanna just stop, you know? some of my posts i've tried to be vague because part of me wishes that an anti would read through it. part of me wants antis to see it and realize that i'm trying. realize that this cycle fucking sucks. part of me hopes that if i'm vague enough, they'll keep reading to see if i'm endo or anti or not, and if i prolong the point until i say that, they might give me a chance.

but i doubt it. the only people still reading are likely pro endos. the antis probably realized anyways, or the checked the tags, or whatever, but they stopped reading. or maybe once they knew who i was they stopped giving a shit and stopped taking what i write seriously.

i don't want to give in. i don't want to be quiet or tiny or respectful to these people that constantly, every single goddamn day, continue to deny science, continue to harass people, continue to break their own dnis, continue to send hate, continue to be horrid humans. i don't want to shut up and let them do that. in fact, i want to SCREAM. i want to be SO loud and angry about it, i want to kick and yell and never back down but it's so exhausting.

but all of it is exhausting. no matter what i do it's exhausting.

i'm so sick and tired of it. i'm so sick and tired of the constant invalidation. but most of all i'm sick and tired of being scared.

i'm so so scared about this. i'm scared i'm making the wrong decision. i'm scared i'm not helping our cause. i'm scared i'm making it worse. i'm scared i'll be a target. i'm scared that i'm saying the wrong things or using the wrong tags or invading the wrong space or even just- i guess i'm just scared to exist as an endo.

there is no guidebook for how to handle this. i'm pretty young, i'll likely be a part of the generation of people that gets to see at least some of this work pay off. but thinking about that future is scary. i want to be able to say i was on the side that fought for science, the side that fought for acceptance and love, the side that fought to be heard, i want to be able to say all that. but the idea that i might mess it up and further hinder our progress scares me.

everyone else seems so confident that they're on the right side. everywhere i go, it's "these people are bad, these are good," even within communities.

"yeah i'm anti endo but i fucking hate people who harass endos."

"yeah i'm pro endo but i don't think endos should be called systems."

"yeah i'm an endo and we should be invading these tags more."

"yeah i'm anti endo and i don't think they deserve any respect at all."

it's a lot to keep in mind how much i have to address everytime i speak. i have to keep in mind all my thoughts on anything, i have to make sure i seem credible and like i understand what i'm talking about. it's a fight for "how long can i get them to listen? how much of this do i have to water down for them to take me seriously?"

but none of it works anyway. sure, we get a couple people. and those couple people are so important to our cause, the few people we managed to convince, but for every person who decides to give us a shot, 10 more people just scrolled past, or got filled with even more rage, or worst case scenario, might have decided to harass me or another endo or pro endo.

it's a dilemma of "do i fight for this despite that because of the hope that in the long run, if we do this enough, people willl finally fucking listen, or do i quiet down and worry about it?" and even if i fight, thats a dilemma too! because, do i fight aggressively? respectfully? loudly? do i invade tags? do i break dnis? do i respect these people in hopes that they might accept me or just say "fuck it, they're never gonna respect me unless i get in their face?"

it's at times like these i remember that maybe i just gotta take a break from syscourse. gotta get off tumblr and draw for a bit or something.

but there's always the constant reminder that the future is relying partially on how many people stand up and riot. if i stand up and riot, maybe someone else will too. the more that we do stand up without fear, the more likely someone else will. and the more people that stand up the louder and harder to avoid we'll be. and if that happens, eventually people will realize that we're right.

i just wish that it was easier.

it's a nice reminder that there are people like you who do stand up, people that inspired me to be loud. it's nice to remember that i have a place that understands.

it's phrases like "the future is plural" and "punks protect endos" that make me so happy to exist and be part of this. we are here, and we are "plural, as in there are more of us than you think." (credit to @orange-orchard-system for the slogan)

stuff like that reminds me that this is part of the process. we are doing well.

the best way to win is to stay positive and be happy and be excited for the future rather than dread it.

so thanks for inspiring me! thanks for making me remember that this is all so worth it in the end!

(apologies if this is incoherent at all. i was kind of just rambling to ramble at the beginning)

I'm glad to have been able to inspire you. And yeah, trying to do the right thing is complicated. Knowing how and when to fight is difficult.

But can I tell you a secret?

Fighting for plural acceptance doesn't always look like literal fighting. Sometimes it's making Plegg culture blogs or plural-writing prompts.

You mention Orange Orchard System, and you should know that they rarely get directly involved in syscourse. And yet, through simply raising awareness and normalizing systems of all sorts, they're fighting bigotry in their own way every single day.

The way they're fighting back is just as important as what I do, if not more so.

All that is to say that you don't need to be involved in syscourse to make a difference. If you want to step away and focus on helping plurals in other ways, that's totally fine! I promise you won't be letting anyone down!

[acoldsovereign]

{{ Okay, here we go. A better/proper post about it. I know, I know. "But you said you wouldn't post--"

I'm breaking it this once. Only this once.

I'm still a reforming sociopath so being sad/sitting with intense feelings is very difficult for me. Concerning the circumstances, I'll try to express myself properly without the fear of "feeling things wrong".

I'm still new to the RPC. I started in March 2023, it'll be a year soon. God, that's so fast. I made minor and major mistakes in the process of learning Tumblr etiquette, but I learned from those instances all the same and nobody heckled me for it. Nobody made fun of me at all. Aside from the one incident I had late last year (it wasn't anyone in this community, though they did have a DBZ character on their roster), I've had ZERO problems with this community. I may be annoyed at stuff I see on the dash, or at highly specific or miniscule things nobody else sees if I ever venture out of my safe bubble, but ... I never felt unwelcomed, excluding my beginning months (which was when I didn't understand Tumblr culture). That changed when I started following and talking to people seriously. Everyone, even the shy people have been nothing but sweet to me and you all still continue to be really sweet and kind to me, even going as far to remind me to take my time when I push myself too hard. DBZ wasn't my first anime (that honor goes to Magic Knight Rayearth, Sailor Moon and Rurouni Kenshin), but it was one of the most influential I've ever watched. Unlike most in the community, I have a tumultuous relationship with the series due to being bullied severely in my childhood/adolescent years. I wasn't "allowed" to like or enjoy it because I was a girl, and it was a boy's show, even worse, it was deemed "white people shit". (Yes, this was said to my face by kids my age).

It was so incredibly dumb and disheartening to never be able to enjoy things because I associated being liked with survival. And yet, I still found a way to enjoy DB in secret. I started with Kai reruns. As you all know, even though I started at the Saiyan Saga, it was the Trunks Saga that truly converted and changed me-- so much so that he's my favorite character hands down, even after all these years. I ended up finishing the entire series on an old computer I no longer have. The pirating website I was using had a little chatbox where people were doing script RP (aka they used asterisks and all that). I thought it looked fun-- so, I made an account, username and joined in. I was a female Saiyan character (because why wouldn't I?) and I discovered the world of RP that way; that's how I started. DBZ is why I'm here with you all. The cycle repeated again and all of my old RP partners were nowhere to be found when I logged in one day. I got bullied again (which deeply hurt and confused me) and verbally/emotionally harassed online until I changed my username and deleted the FC I was using (one of them even told me to uh, you know. Do the opposite of live). I searched online for other RP forums and found them; started on other sites until I found my way to Facebook. I learned I had a knack for describing things, and making wholly unique characters that breathed life into the series they were from. I found my home, you could say. I've been in many other fandoms, made good memories but the majority of them are unfortunately tainted with the cruelty and lack of compassion others had towards OCs, especially of the female kind. Even in the Naruto community years ago, I had been at the end of a "call out/ship-vent" post for something I had no control over (the situation was actually caused by the person who wrote it, worse of all).

When I RPed in the DB fandom on Facebook, the only things that happened were: people's feelings getting hurt when my villain OCs said something rude to their characters (I always, ALWAYS, warned the other person in advance just to make sure they were okay with it), and people (mainly male muses-- canon and OCs) trying to reform them through having crushes on them or being "nice" to them. Romance plots, basically, or hoping for it. Though the latter was sometimes annoying, I managed to have fun, still. (Funnily enough, it mainly happened to the Cyborg/'Android' OCs I had, and not my Saiyans). The former though, kept me away from writing any more villains/antagonists for a long time because I didn't want to harm someone or be the reason they had a bad experience with roleplaying. Quite some years ago, I abandoned it due to life responsibilities and all that. Had to focus on college. I've been doing this since middle school all the way up to high school. I'm 26 now. I've been roleplaying for 14 years. I started when I was 12, at most. That means I've been a fan of this series for that duration of time and even longer since I didn't know RP was a thing. Because of DBZ, I've had long distance relationships. Because of DBZ, I've discovered my passion of writing goes deeper than what I thought it did originally. I even discovered what fanfiction was, through RP. I met people in the past through RP that I've developed crushes on and went on to date online. Met my first cosplay community (when I started cosplaying), made friends with local anime-shop owners before they closed down for good. I had a freaking Future Trunks Funko at one point! And I donated it to the shop because I loved the owners so much that I wanted them to have what personally gave me joy. I tried to write Trunks at one point, tried to cosplay him at another, so on and so forth. As many downs I had being attached to this series, I had more ups-- and gods, were the ups so HIGH. So, I'm much more willing to work with the series and all of the IP, because the truth is, something keeps making me come back. And it sparks my enthusiasm.

I've been told since starting my blog that my enthusiasm is infectious and I'm glad it is, because the truth is: this enormous body of work deserves it. My enthusiasm is because of Toriyama. This blog is here because of Toriyama. No, seriously. He said we never got female Saiyans prior to Super because he never could settle on a design. Growing up, I've been told toxic things about this series (usually from my own ethnic group, immature boys and creepy, grown men), only to find out the dude struggled with indecision! He was just like me at the time-- a freaking panster! Talk about a relief! I belong here!! I've always belonged, as a female fan!! My Saiyans, whether in RP or fanfictions, were female for this explicit reason. Long story short, Maiz is here because he planted that seed. I just took it and ran. As you all know, Maiz originally came from a fanfiction herself but, her current personality, motives and goals came from another character. The version you're seeing and writing with was specifically tailored to the needs of the RPC-- a villainous female Saiyan (with huge amounts of much needed Saiyan lore backing her up). I created this blog with my decade long experience of writing in mind. I wasn't expecting much when my best friend Koji convinced me to try Tumblr RP. I was so jaded. I thank her so much because if she didn't, I wouldn't have refound my drive for this series. My neverending love for various aspects of DB would have just stayed between me and my close irl friends. I wouldn't have met any of you. I wouldn't be here at all, and neither would Maiz. I wouldn't be surrounded by beautiful, amazing people. I wouldn't be as motivated as I am to improve my writing and vocabulary. Just ... Gosh. You guys remember when I said I can't think of Trunks' backstory too hard/too long or I'll get sad and cry? Well. It's moved to "if I ever hear Heroic, Episodic or Heaven Sent Trunks, I'll get sad" now. Gotta laugh at myself a little somewhere. I'm getting better at being okay with being sad. Bare with me. The fact that he based my favorite character on the Terminator movies and Trunks existing was why I even got into sci-fi to begin with (Terminator, Total Recall, Stargate, Star Trek, etc), just makes everything I've been though with this series hurt that much more.

To make matters worse, the first time I ever wrote within the sci-fi genre WAS the fanfiction Maiz comes from. It was a rewrite of DB Super, starting with the Broly movie, so naturally I decided it should be a blend of that and Space-Opera. Sigh. Do you see what I mean? By why this all hurts? I wouldn't be here at all if I didn't take what Toriyama said about female Saiyans to heart. Being told I was taking this IP too seriously over the years has paid off. I'm glad I'm so damn stubborn and resilient. I'm glad I have tunnel vision. Others would've broken if they went through the bs I did. If I had to go get bullied for liking Trunks over Vegeta and Goku all over again, I'd do it knowing what I accomplish later down the road. (But you know, I don't need to be bullied again-- nobody does). There's much more I could say but I'll leave it here as I think this is a full explanation enough. Thank you, Akira Toriyama (and the editors) for the Trunks, Androids and Cell Sagas. I'm glad Western movies inspired you. Finally, thank you for existing.

[vaehbae]

Peace. Quiet. Calm.

Ezra Bridger could only have dreamed of such things during his time as both an orphan, and during his time in the Rebellion. He may have experienced some of it while isolated on Peridea, but this was something he preferred more.

The view of Lothal's capital city was something that literally came from a dream. He remembered first seeing it vividly alongside the spirits of his late parents during the night he learned of their deaths. However, the dream became a reality.

The galaxy was indeed shaken following Thrawn's return, but over the past few months, the tactical genius was no match for the stubborn will of New Republic military officials, and the famous Heroes of Endor, whom with joined hands of the Heroes of Lothal, turned the tables and put Imperial Remnants to route once again.

Regardless if there was nothing safe or sacred, it was a much deserved moment of relief Ezra wished he had earned earlier. For all the strife, fighting, and death that had to resume over the desire of totalitarian madmen who wanted to reclaim control over the galaxy and restart their ideas of suffering, the best thing he could do was live for all the good people that were lost. And for a very important reason...

He had been entranced by the shining and bustling beauty of the previously envisioned city when Sabine Wren -- his wife joined his side on the balcony. In her arms, the artistically destructive Mandalorian held a still bundle in her arms. Their ninetine month old daughter, Mira Wren-Bridger.

"Everytime I see you come out here, it's like you're always distracted by something that isn't even calling your name." She quipped. Sabine sure knew how to deliver sassy remarks, even after her life changed through marriage and motherhood.

"It's a good sight to go to sleep to." Ezra replied innocently, giving off a small chuckle when he felt his longtime best friend elbow him on the side.

"Well, I don't blame ya. I remember you mentioned seeing this after realizing what happened to your parents."

In the past, Ezra would have felt a tang of pain hit his heart about such a cruel and unfair reminder, no matter the wording, but he knew he was no longer the only one to have lost family after Sabine vented to him about her Clan getting slaughtered on Mandalore.

"It's not just that anymore."

Sabine looked over at him with a questioning gaze at his comment, making sure she still maintained a fair grip on little Mira in her arms, and so that the baby would not be awaken and make a fuss.

"We've made it happen, Sabine. All of us. I know deep down, my mom and dad would've been proud to see this. Right now, however, I just don't think I could ever thank you guys enough for helping to achieve this."

"As a Mandalorian, I don't take even the smallest of promises lightly. And as much as it's exhausting to bring up... you were counting on me at the same time."

That phrase had become very synonymous with Ezra's faith in his longtime best friend, and he already knew that when she brought him home, her promise had been fulfilled. There was truly no better person than Sabine that he could ask to ensure such things were sought through to the end, and he would never have it any other way.

"And you've kept your promise, Sabine. Thank you." He told her, turning his head to meet her gaze as his lips curled up to a warm smile. That smile was shared as they kissed briefly, before finally retiring inside their tower for a good night's rest.

Ezra was still unsure what new challenges awaited him for the future, but with Sabine by his side, he felt more at ease and ready to face them head on.

It felt like I just had ASMR cleanse over my brain cells reading this. It was so nice and welcoming oh my goodness. All the stress of the final episode just washed over me with this beauty!

Thank you for submitting! Genuine, It's the perfect amount of everything but not too overwhelming and so freaking cute!