#it has its benifits but sometimes its just rly not worth the energy lol
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I should probably rb an ask game tomorrow so I don't keep being dead quiet all day and make like a post at midnight fncndjfnf
#rat rambles#I also just think I need more ppl to talk to again#I know I keep saying this but still Ive been rly unmotivated lately and its driving me crazy a lil#Im still thinking abt things and creating things but I just cant seem to find a proper spark in anything#I think my brain is unionising against me for playing too much video games lately 😔#what makes things hard is that what I rly wanna do is have like a propper infodumping convo with someone again but I still dont know how to#do that through text and I feel bad infodumping to my siblings /nm#(<- tone indicator in case they see this lol)#hopefully dnd will happen this week and if not maybe Ill get to talk with some of them at least#honestly I should rly try asking if any of them would be down with vcing outside of dnd but woopsie anxiety fmfndjfh#I rly do love talking with them and I miss them all the time man 😔#idk Ill figure smth out eventually maybe in the meantime I can try streaming more maybe? although thats a tricky balancing act#mainly between leaving myself enough energy to actually talk with whatever Im doing#like I think I tend to be a lot more slow and awkward in streams since its just inhereny very draining for me#it has its benifits but sometimes its just rly not worth the energy lol#tbh I just think yall should come ask me detailed specific questions abt all my stories and aus thatd cure my mental illness /j
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