#it has words thye are in german

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Beautiful friend, god is funky. Daughter of elysium.

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A List of Books I read.

Unlike years before, where I'd normally make a list of fave records or artists, this year I decided that I am no longer the 2012 version of me who was obsessed in never missing out new artists, albums and list that recommended best new music.

My apple music wrapped showed me that since 2016 my most listen song is the same (it's Cranes in the Sky by Solange, because A Seat at the Table is probably one of my favorite records of all times, so much so, it became the soundtrack of my masters thesis) and Beyoncé is still my favorite artist (has been since 2013). And because graduating from my masters gave me the break I needed to go back to reading stuff I care and like, I decided to simply write here the books I read this year. Some were good, some were really fucking good, and some were...well, they were books written by people with far more talent than I'll ever have, and thye got published.

In any case, the truth of the matter is that 2023 was the year of reading for me. I've been a Reader since I was a kid, but with academic work, for many years I didn't have the time or the energy to read what I really cared about- I had to write thesis and papers and essays and they all required I focused on reading what I needed to write those papers and essays and thesis. In addition to Academia, being depressed and having serious bouts of sadness and suicidal thoughts for many years -it hasn't stopped, although therapy has help a bit- also caused that for many years I could barely read things, and that includes many books I was suppose to read during college but didn't- not that I care much about this, but sometimes I do feel guilty about people reading Kant and me pretending I was and that I actually understood what that german hellman was writing about.

However, when I realized I could pick up books that I thought would give me comfort, joy, or simply piked my interest, then I decided I simply had to read, and since 2021, I've given myself the chance to do just that. It no longer matters to me if read a few pages, or read obsessively one book in a matter of hours, at the end, what matters to me, is to read (although when I read on my ipad I do have a 20 minute timer thingy and I do have a focus mode that doesn't allow any apps to interrupt my reading). This has allowed me to feel more comfortable with the fact I realized reading (like writing) is a political act. About 5/6 years ago I decided I would not read academic books unless it was strictly necessary, and if for research I needed to find bibliography, I would make sure I would have a diverse set of voices and not just white, western, cishet male writers. This didn't please most of my professors, especially the male ones, who consider most of my sources to be unrealiable because they weren't men. Some pointed out that as Colombian, I was suppose to choose only spanish writers, and when I did, they got upset because they weren't men. But, in the end, because I learnt that I couldn't sit down to wait for them to catch up to me, I forced my authors in, and I do not regret this decision. I owe the education I have to myself, and myself only. So, in the wise words of Snoop Dogg, I wanna thank me. This has made me a very good reader and an okay Academic.

I also decided that, if I was going to read fiction and non fiction, poetry and essays; then I had to think carefully what authors I wanted to read. Because I wasn't the audience male writers wanted: I am not a man, nor I am white, and as I currently struggle to label my gender, I realized I wanted to read the so-called outside of the canon, peripheral writers/voices/narratives/stories. That decision has proven to be difficult, because I have to constantly check not only what I'm reading but who I'm reading. At the same time, from time to time -especially this year, as this is the year I read many books-, I stop, check myself, and after I realize I'm not following my rules, I re-calibrate my reads and make sure I find my way back to the voices and stories I want to support, engage with, and care about.

Finally, someone on Mastodon pointed out the following questions, that made me realized my decision to read authours outside the so-called canon should be more thoughtful, more political. The questions I paraphrased here for the simple reason of leaving them here, in case anyone finds them: why aren't voices outisde the priviledge that narrate stories that white voices can narrate [from a place, with a voice, about whom and which contexts...]? If they do exist, why aren't those voices published? And if they are published, why aren't we reading them. "I believe it is important to question more who can become writers, who is published and what do we read".

Here's my list of books read in 2023*.

Books I bought because the cover was cute, interesting, or tumblr aesthetic inspired.

Las palabras que confiamos al viento, by Laura Imai Messina.

La clase de griego, by Han Kang.

Books I bought that I got because the title sounded interesting and they fucking were.

Milk fed, by Melissa Broder.

Today, Tonight Tomorrow, by Rachel Lynn Salomon.

Good Material, by Dolly Alderton.

The women of Troy, by Pat Barker.

Books I read and when I was done, I actually wanted to throw my ipad, my kindle or the book out the window.

Happy place, by Emily Henry.

A perfect vintage, by Chelsea Fagan.

The roughest draft, by Emily Wibberley and Agustin Siegmund-Broka.

Crazy Stupid Bromance, by Lyssa Kay Adams.

To Sir with love, by Lauren Layne.

Spare, by Prince Harry.

Plot twist, by Erin de la Rosa.

How to fake it in Hollywood, by Ava Wilder.

Next of Kin, by Hannah Bonam-Young.

Books I really didn't understand, but I know they were good.

La encomienda, by Margarita García Robayo.

History books I read that I wasn't sure why I got them, but they were okay (I guess).

Piratas: Una historia desde los vikingos hasta hoy, by Peter Lerh.

The Last million: Europe's displaced persons from World War II, by David Nasaw.

Imperial Twilight: The Opium War and the End of China's Last Golden Age, by Stephen R. Platt.

Non-fiction books that fucked me up (the good way).

How to read, by Elaine Castillo.

You Could Make this Place Beautiful, by Maggie Smith.

Seventeen, by Joe Gibson.

Against White Feminism: Notes on Disruption, by Rafia Zakaria.

Hijab Butch Blues, by Lamya H.

Romantic Comedies or simply Romance books that were a nice read but lacked a bit of complexity, although such fun read they still got my 4/5 stars on Goodreads and Apple Books.

Nora Goes Off Script, by Annabel Monaghan.

Romantic Comedy, Curtis Sttenfeld.

The Bride Test, by Helen Hoang.

The Heart Principle, by Helen Hoang.

Once more with Feeling, by Elissa Sussman.

The Fastest Way to Fall, by Denise Williams.

Weather Girl, by Rachel Lynn Solomon.

The Ex Talk, by Rachel Lynn Solomon.

Authors that wrote seriously great books and I don't think the 5 stars on Goodreads and Apple books was enough.

Matrix, by Lauren Groff.

Woman, Eating; by Claire Khoda.

Mucho Ado about Nada, by Uzma Jalalauddin.

Ayesha at Last, by Uzma Jalalauddin.

A Shot in the Dark, by Victoria Lee.

Hamnet, by Maggie O'Farrell.

Business or Pleasure, by Rachel Lynn Solomon.

You, Again; by Kate Goldbeck.

Hamnet, by Maggie O'Farrell.

Eligible: A Modern Retelling of Pride & Prejudice, by Curtis Sittenfeld.

For 2024, there's a really long list of pre-ordered books (some are essays, some are memoirs, some are romcoms). I also have a respectable list of books that I was suppose to read this year but I couldn't because I didn't want to, or I started it but I switch it and I'll get back to them. I don't know what next year will have in store for me- this year was so difficult, so painful, that has made me realized I still am in a crossroad whether I want to stay alive or not; but at least I had books, and I was able to find in the reading hours time to rest from my own feelings and thoughts. If 2024 is the year where something happens, I hope at least it has books. And maybe some more writing in this blog.

*Please keep in mind that some weren't published in the present year, and some others were readings I started in 2022 and only finished this year.