#it is so fucking tempting to study something like engineering and robotics

[a-portable-snack]

Kaidam, Kai is dragged to a party and he hate it but then he know a handsome guy who make him change his mind

Is this loosely based off frat parties at my school? No, it’s heavily based off frat parties at my school. 

Fifteen Minutes

Kai laid on Adam’s bed watching the ceiling as him and Mira get ready for the party. They were all seniors in college and none of them really went to frat parties. Not because they were never invited. If you’re friends with Adam, you can’t NOT get invited everywhere. Mainly because they didn’t want to go. But now they were seniors with great GPAs, easy senior classes, and finally sometime to actually go little crazy. Or at least Mira and Adam can.

“Guys, I’m taking fucking Thermodynamics. I don’t understand a thing and I really should stay and study” Kai waved his brick of a textbook to make a point.

“Oh come on!” Adam stepped out of the bathroom. Kai turned to look at him and honestly stopped functioning for a second. He just had a simple short sleeved button up with jeans on. He had little bit of make up on it wasn’t noticeable but his skin was evener and his eyes looked bigger. But he was PRETTY.

That’s the thing about Adam Kai decided along time ago. Adam wasn’t hot or cute. Those words just didn’t describe him. Adam was simply pretty. Pretty enough to make Kai not realize he wasn’t paying attention to the words coming out of Adam’s mouth.

“Say that again? I can’t seem to process anything that isn’t code thanks to Ross.” Kai said.

“That is exactly my point! You’ve been working so hard for three years. It’s time to loosen up little” Adam did that dumb shimmy he does and Kai just snorted out a laugh.

“I’m sorry I can’t. I’m a fucking Robotic and Mechatronic Engineer, I’m…”

“Practically double majoring because your major is a fancy combination of mechanical and electrical engineering” Adam said with smirk. “I’ve heard the rant once or twice.”

Kai could tell that Adam wasn’t going to back down about Kai going to the party. And Kai knew that he couldn’t say no to Adam. And Adam probably knows that Kai can’t say no to him. Hence, Adam’s knowing smirk as they had a stand off, both waiting for Kai to break.

“Ugh! Fine!”

“Perfect!” Mira came out, as if she planned for Adam to convince Kai to come. “I’m dressing you up”

“You’re what?” Adam and Kai said together. Kai was not a dress up type. He won an award from the Dean’s office and he accepted the award in jeans. Kai is pretty sure he only owns baseball tees and jeans. Maybe a long sleeve t shirt. Maybe.

“Adam, leave”

“What? Why? This is my room!”

“Because I’m stealing your clothes for Kai and I’m not listening to you tell me what to choose” Mira pushed Adam out with out his keys and closed the door.

“Can I at least have my wallet so I can go buy drinks?” Adam yelled. Mira threw Adam’s wallet at him and quickly closed the door.

“Ok Mira. WHAT THE HELL?”

“It’s fine. He won’t be mad once he sees you.” Mira started to raid Adam’s closet. She didn’t want to just dress Kai like Adam but she also knew she wouldn’t be able to get anywhere with Kai’s closet. So Mira needed to find balance. She saw the perfect pieces and threw them to Kai.

“This over this. Keep your jeans but you’re wearing Adam’s shoes” Mira said. Kai looked at the clothes. He hesitantly put them. It was a tight black long sleeved shirt with a floral short sleeved button up. He didn’t hate it.

“I like it!” Mira said, and pulled out some make up.

“Mira…”

“Nope, you’re getting a little make up. Just for me” She smiled and motioned him to sit down.

“Why are you doing this?” Kai asked as Mira applied foundation.

“I am over you and Adam dancing around each other. You’re both out, you both definitely like each other, I hate feeling like I’m third wheeling when you guys aren’t even dating”

“W-what?”

“Yeah, don’t say anything. You know I’m right” Kai just sat in silence and didn’t fight back. Yes Kai thought Adam was pretty. We discussed this. But Adam’s Adam. He’s the person that Kai relies on when he needs extra hands when building a robot or the person Kai wants to go to after a long day or the person that Kai is willing to drop everything for or… HOLY SHIT KAI LOVES ADAM.

“Did you actually just have a revelation that you loved Adam?” Mira was half pissed half relieved. Like thanks god he finally noticed but HOW DID HE NOT NOTICE?

“I’m sorry! I just… I don’t know! Didn’t look at Adam? I guess” Kai is usually one that is a love at first sight kind of man. If a good looking person so much as gives him a second of attention, Kai is ready to jump off a bridge for them. Most people let him jump. But maybe that’s why Adam is so special. Adam would never ask him to jump alone. Adam would grab him hand and leap with him.

“Didn’t look” Mira said under her breath. She finished Kai makeup and hair with minimal jests. When she was finally done, Kai was shocked. He didn’t look different but he looked better. He felt like he was actually attractive. Maybe he should let Adam and Mira “queer eye” him, as they always say.

“I’m back! I will exchange gin and Faygo for my dorm back.” Adam yelled from the door. Mira looked at Kai with excited eyes and bounded to the door.

“I’ll be taking this, and you will be thanking me” Mira snatched the ingredients to make drinks.

“What do you…” Adam stopped when he saw Kai. Adam let a small smile cover his face. “I see why. You look good”

“It was all Mira. I honestly don’t understand what she did”

“Yup, I am the rock you boys are built on.” Mira said, filling up her reusable water bottle with some gin then topping off with Faygo. “And I can’t believe you got fucking grape Faygo”

“Hey grape Faygo is the best and if you don’t agree, fuck off” Kai said. Adam just sent a small smile. Adam knew Kai likes the grape the best so he didn’t really have a choice in Faygo.

“So when are we leaving?” Kai asked.

“Right now” Mira handed both the boys reusable water bottles. “Ok boys. Say it with me. Be drunk enough…”

“To enjoy the idiots but sober enough not to join” Kai and Adam chanted with Mira.

“Ok, we’re off” Kai actually felt excited. He’s gone to a few small dorm parties but no frat parties. It was the first one of the year and everyone was going to be there. The school that Kai, Mira, and Adam go to is pretty small school with only 3 frat houses. No ever goes to one house because the guys are creepy and away from the other two. The good frats however full of fun guys. The houses are both kinda small but they coordinate parties together so they aren’t competing for the best party. Why have two small parties when you can have one big one?

“HERE WE ARE!” Mira immediately ran in, pulling the boys along. Kai immediately regretted coming. He had no idea how packed this place could get. There were body count restrictions for a reason! And that beer pong table is about to fall, loose screw. Are these stairs safe? There’s no light so you had to step and pray has you went downstairs. HOW ARE THERE MORE PEOPLE DOWN HERE?

The basement was so packed Kai was had to squish his shoulders together to try to keep up with Mira and Adam. Suddenly he was pulled away in the crowd that was dancing, drinking, and singing. Oh no he was getting involved with idiots. He wasn’t even drunk.

“Oh my god who are you?” Vanessa yelled over the music and draped herself over Kai. Kai rolled his eyes. He and Vanessa “went out” (if you want to call it that) and it was not healthy and didn’t end well.

“Vanessa, it’s me Kai.” Kai said. Vanessa pulled back to look him up and down.

“Wow if I had known you could clean up so good, I might not have dumped you” Kai just rolled his eyes. He explicitly remembers breaking it off with her after Mira have an intervention with him. She was manipulative, cheating on him constantly, and was starting to isolate Kai for his friends. It was not good.

“Well, too bad. Literally nothing could convince me to get back together with you”

“Oh come on, Kai” Vanessa grabbed Kai’s hand. “Let’s have some fun tonight. For old times sake.”

Kai was tempted. His friends were gone. It would just be one night and Vanessa is just a force that is hard to ignore. Kai shook his head.

“No, I-I leaving” Kai quickly fought his way out of the crowd and went back up the stairs. He started to look around the first floor for his friends when he heard something.

“Kai!” Kai turned to sound of his name saw Skeet, one of Adam’s friends. Oh great.

“If you’re here, Adam can’t be too far away!” Skeet looked over Kai, looking for Adam. Kai tried not to roll his eyes.

“I lost him awhile ago. You might find him around” Kai said, “And if you do, can-“

“Great! Is he still single? I’ve been thinking about asking him out. The dude is practically perfect”

Kai suddenly couldn’t breath. He shouldn’t have come. People never seem to actually care about him, he’s overloaded with work, and if he has to be alone, he rather it be somewhere that people can’t bother him.

Without saying anything Kai left the house as quickly as he could. Once he was outside, he quickly made his way down the street. He shoved his hands in his pockets and fought tears. This was their senior year. It was suppose to be the best year. Kai wanted to make the best of it because he knows Mira and Adam will take off once they graduate. It’s not on purpose but their jobs could take them anywhere. Mira’s animal conversation degree could take her all the way to India and Adam’s said he’d go to any law school that’ll take him, even in Alaska. And Kai just wanted one more year where they were all together.

“KAI!”

Kai turned and saw Adam sprinting down the side walk.

“Dude! There you are. I’ve been look all over for you” Adam slowed to a walk as he got close. When he noticed Kai was almost in tears, he closed the gap between them quickly.

“What happened? Did someone do something? I’m going to kick their ass” Adam almost seemed ready to go back to the party and destroy everyone until he figured out who hurt Kai. Kai grabbed Adam’s wrist and breathed out a laugh.

“Its fine. I… I just lost you guys than I ran into Vanessa then Skeet was looking for you and I just got overwhelmed. I’m just going to head back.” Kai gave Adam small smile and went to leave.

“15 minutes” Adam said. Kai turned around and gave him a weird look.

“Mira and I found a good spot. If you give me 15 minutes and still want to go home, I’ll walk you home myself” Kai wanted to say no. He wanted to go home. But it was Adam. And it was only 15 minutes. So Kai nodded an ok.

Adam laced his hand into Kai’s and pulled him back to the house. They went threw the front door and to the basement. Adam pulled Kai in front of him and wrapped a strong arm around his hip and pulled him close.

“I’m not losing you again.” Adam whispered into his ear. Kai was hoped Adam didn’t see the strong blush that crawled across his face and to his ears. Adam pushed Kai threw the crowd Kai kept his head down, hoping not to see Vanessa again. Adam lead him to a set of stair that Kai didn’t see when he was down here the first time. Adam guided him up the stairs and opened the door. It lead to the backyard of the house.

It was a really relaxed atmosphere compared to inside where everyone just seemed to be going has hard as possible. There were two picnic table, one with a beer pong game going, the other acting seats for the few people out here. There was also a keg toss competition going on and some people sitting on the ground smoking.

“Kai!” Mira jumped off the table and ran over. “There you are. Did you get lost in the crowd?”

“Something like that” Kai rubbed his neck.

“Come on” Adam pulled Kai to the picnic table. Adam sat on top of the and pulled Kai so he sat in-between his knees. Adam then slung a protective arm over Kai’s shoulder. At first Kai was really stiff but he quickly relaxed into he touch. They all started cheering for the beer pong game, Kai doing fake intense sports commentary that had everyone laughing. Eventually, Mira convinced Adam to do the Keg toss, to which Adam set a new frat record for.

Kai ended up staying way passed the 15 minutes. He stopped watching the clock after 5. He didn’t realize how late it was until one of the frat guys came to the backyard.

“Sorry guys but it’s like 3 am and we need to shut it down. Hope you had fun tho!” He said and escorted everyone that was in the backyard through the now empty basement to the first floor where people were filing out.

“So,” Adam carefully placed an arm over Kai’s shoulders “Are you happy you stayed?”

Kai, in moment of bravery, kissed Adam’s cheek. “Yes, I am”

[taziidcvil]

IIDA TENYA!!! 💙💙

give me a character and i will answer

Why I like them

everything. actually everything. have you seen him? have you seen my son? this gorgeous boy. i love absolutely everything about him. i love his smile and his grumpy frowns and his legit actually pissed off glares. i love cute as fuck eyebrows. i love his ever changing eye colour. what’s his eye colour? who the heck knows, but he looks good in all. i love his buzzed hair. i love his just,,, square. i love how supportive he is of his friends and his classmates. i love how he’d do anything for them. i love that he wanted to be class president, but voted for midoriya because he believed midoriya was best  suited for it. i love how far he’ll go for his friends. i love his morals and strict following the rules. i love when he breaks those rules when he feels like he must. i love that he shows up to class early. i love how genuinely happy he is for his classmates. i love his competitive drive. i love his strive for knowledge. i love how he’s always willing to help. i love his hand gestures and how animated he is. i love his wall of glasses he’s so proud of and takes care to position the same. i love him doing the robot. i love whenever he’s on screen/panel he gets me grinning like a dork. i love how he can make you laugh. i love how he can rip out your heart because boy is complex. because he hurts and fuck i want to reach through the screen and hug him, but only if he’ll accept. i love that he looks like he gives the best hugs can you imagine? i love that he pulled a knife out of his arm like it was nothing. i love his strive for heroics and his growth. i love when he falters and goes against his own morals in anger. i love that he grows as a person constantly. i love how he’s always willing to better himself. i love how trusting he is. i love how far he takes lessons. i love when he tries to play the bad guy. i love how dramatic he is like peek theatre kid vibes. i love how he’s always there to help. when uraraka was nauseous and he rubs her back? what a good boy. i love that he keeps the others in line. i love that he curbs m/n/ta’s behaviour. i love that this boy is a feminist because come on you can’t tell me he’s not. while we’re at it iida totally said ‘trans rights’ and would respect your pronouns/name and would be the first to correct others, don’t fight me on this. i love the fact that fucking orange juice fuels his engines. i love his engines!! i love his fighting style. i love his love for tensei. i love his love for his friends. i love his love for his classmates. i love that he would include everyone and bend over backwards to make sure everyone was okay. i love him. so. fucking. much.

Why I don’t

there is,, literally nothing about tenya that i don’t absolutely adore. there’s not a single thing i’d change. i’m trying to think of something, no matter how small or petty, that i dislike about him and there’s,,, literally nothing

Favourite episode (scene if movie)

his fight against stain alongside midoriya and todoroki. just,,, the raw emotion. the hurt. the struggle. the learning. the growing. the fucking pulling a knife out of his arm with his teeth. the fucking SAVING TODOROKI’S LIFE. todoroki almost got sliced in half and iida snapped that blade in half JUST before it hit todoroki. the kick to stain’s side. everything about that fight was,, amazing. superb. 

Favourite season/movie

overall fav season of bnha is season 3, and probably always will be. but fav season of tenya content? season 2. i just,,, really love the stain fight

Favourite line

that one time tenya told stain to ‘catch these hands’

Favorite outfit

i really,,, love tenya’s hero outfit. it’s honestly so aesthetically pleasing. 

amazing

OTP

i ship,,, everything. well, almost everything. seriously tho put him up with almost anyone and i’ll ship that shit. but the one i put on a pedestal? shiniida. my otp man god that good shit

Brotp

also works as poly-otp but also damn good platonic: iida/midoriya/uraraka/todoroki. amazing. quality. i love.

Head Canon

tenya started the lgbt+ club in UA and is very proud of it and its members. he organises multiple events and reaches out to the general public of UA to invite everyone. he’s genuinely so fucking happy when people join and welcoming. supportive leader who would do anything for his club members

Unpopular opinion

tenya can swear. it just has to tick certain boxes. time. appropriateness. company. location. a reason. there is just rarely a time when all these line up to the point he feels it’s acceptable to swear. if tenya is alone in the comfort of his own room, with the door shut, and he stubs his toe? he will absolutely say ‘fuck’. no one has had the privileged to hear him cuss but there’s been a couple times he’s been tempted to fire one at bakugou.

A wish

give me tenya vs stain part 2. give me a bigger fight with tenya’s heroics shining through. show us how much he’s grown as a person and a hero since their first fight. give me tenya catching stain and saving the day. that’s a lil sad tho too so let me do a happy wish too

give me more tenya and tensei hanging out. give me the entire iida family. he has three younger brothers, right? i can never find a source on this but apparently that’s a thing? where are they? give me the iida fam. i want to study all their eyebrows and where their engines are (assuming they have engines). but give me that iida brothers content!

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen

don’t you dare ever fucking kill him hori. my fear of iida dying in the stain arc is what made me read the manga. leave him alone. and DON’T!! FUCKING BULLY HIM!! don’t you dare ever hurt him by his friends.

5 words to best describe them

beautiful square boy deserves world

My nickname for them

my son. gorgeous. good boy. baby. angel. square. tenyah~. mother hen. stain remover. light of my life.

[folightening]

"We really need to stop meeting like this"

Summary: 4+1. Four times Loqi was already stuck when Cor found him, and one time he got stuck after.

Pairing: Cor/Loqi

Rated Teen

Words: 2177

*****

-1-

It was absurd. Just... Not at all what Cor had expected to find when he came out here.

"Are you going to help me or stand there staring?"

Loqi's annoyed tone snapped Cor out of his musings and back to the situation.

The young Imperial general was tied to a pole like some kind of sacrifice. Or some kind of criminal in ancient times about to be burnt at the stake. Upon looking, Cor could see that his armor was behind him. How exactly this had happened, he wasn't sure.

"Some kind of obscure cult decide you were the perfect sacrifice?"

"Very funny Leonis." Loqi laughed, unamused and sarcastic. "My so-called comrades left me here. I have yet to figure out why."

Maybe it had something to do with his wonderful personality. Rather than state that opinion, Cor crossed his arms and kept the grin off his face. Neutrality was his best option for now.

"Why exactly should I not leave you here?"

If Cor untied him, Loqi was more likely than not to run off and continue doing Niflheim's bidding. Which made him an enemy better left where he was.

"Can you leave me here in good conscience, knowing that I am likely to be devoured alive by one of the many creatures living around here?"

The tone, the way he looked at Cor with wide eyes, lips parted in disbelief... Loqi knew what he was doing.

"You are far more heartless than the rumors say."

Cor closed his eyes and cursed the very fact that Loqi Tummelt was part of his life. A highly aggravating, persistent part that he couldn't seem to rid himself of.

"I'm not heartless," Cor argued. "I have no reason to release an enemy soldier from being tied to a pole."

He turned to leave, shoving aside his nagging conscience telling him not to leave Loqi there.

"If they're respectable people," he said, "your comrades will release you before anything happens."

"My comrades are the people who put me here!"

"I'm sure they'll be back." Cor stopped and turned to regard Loqi again. "Your comrades wouldn't leave you to die."

Loud laughter was not what he had expected to hear.

"You are Lucian; you wouldn't understand."

Cor stared at Loqi.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Exactly what I said. Trust me, they are not coming back for me."

It could be a lie. Or people from Niflheim were more cruel than Cor had thought. Either way, it was decided.

"I'm going to regret this."

-2-

"Mind telling me how you got into this?"

Loqi was stuck. Cor was staring at his backside. His very nice, shapely backside... But that was beside the point.

"What does it look like?" Loqi snapped. Cor could barely hear his muffled voice. "I was attempting to retrieve an item that fell down here, and got stuck."

As if to prove his point, Loqi pushed himself back and only succeeded in granting Cor an even better view of his ass and thighs. If he cared to look.

"I think something shifted and prevented me from going either direction."

"Have you tried-"

"Yes, Leonis," Loqi interrupted. "I have tried everything that makes any sense."

Cor studied the rock around Loqi, kneeling down beside him to get a better look.

"Don't you dare try anything," Loqi warned.

As tempted as he was to place his hand on Loqi's ass in retaliation for the partial insult, Cor refrained. Nothing worth the headache would come from following that particular urge. It was rude to touch people in such a manner without permission anyway.

After a few minutes of examining the stones around Loqi, Cor came to the conclusion that he could indeed safely move the rocks enough for Loqi to get free.

"If I move-"

"Don't you move anything!"

Cor huffed and crossed his arms despite Loqi's inability to see the motion. Moving the rocks was the only way to get him out.

"Do you want out or not?"

Unsurprisingly, there was a few moments of silence before Loqi responded. The choice between accepting help and retaining pride... Cor understood well how Loqi was feeling.

"Yes..."

"Then shut up and let me help."

-3-

There had been rumors of the Niffs sending someone out here to investigate some ruins. Cor had been uncertain, but it definitely looked as though a magitek engine had landed here earlier. Which meant he had to continue and see what he found.

Wary of the possible MTs in the area, Cor held his katana at the ready as he walked forward. There was no way of knowing how many of those robotic soldiers would be here or which officer he'd be dealing with.

If he was lucky, it would be Loqi.

The sight that greeted him ten minutes later made him stop in his tracks and simply stare.

He found General Loqi... tangled in vines... Cor evenly exhaled and tried not to think about the pose Loqi was in.

Loqi looked down, their gazes met, and Loqi's cheeks flushed.

"What are you staring at?" he yelled. "I can- dammit- get out of these myself! Then I'm going to defeat you!"

Watching Loqi's attempts at freeing himself only bind him more brought up feelings Cor deemed entirely inappropriate for the situation. He crossed his arms- a common occurrence when dealing with Loqi- and smirked.

"You're doing a fine job of it," Cor said. "How'd you get there?"

"None of your business!"

Typical Loqi.

"I doubt the vines grabbed you on their own."

There were some strange plants out there- usually native to Tenebrae- but he'd never heard of one that grabbed a person on its own.

Loqi's face flushed more and Cor willed himself not to look away from the sight. That would be admitting to those inappropriate thoughts and attraction.

"Fine," Loqi snarled. "I fell, landed in them, and somehow managed to get tangled up."

A reasonable explanation. Judging by how things looked, Cor doubted Loqi was going to be getting himself out of those vines. All he could do was wait for Loqi to realize that.

"Let me know when you want down."

"Fuck off Leonis."

It was another hour before Loqi finally slumped in the vines. Cor raised an eyebrow at him but didn't say anything.

"Why haven't you left yet?" Loqi panted at him, face flushed from his efforts at untangling himself.

"I'm not going to leave you here."

"You just enjoy seeing me like this."

"Night will be falling soon," Cor pointed out.

It wasn't as if he hadn't helped Loqi before. Or as if they didn't have some sort of relationship. Even if it was built on attraction, sex, and a promise that they wouldn't fall in love. Enemies with benefits, Loqi had called it.

"Fine," Loqi grumbled. "Get me down."

The vines broke under his blade, Loqi fell into his arms, and the ground beneath them crumbled.

-4-

The echo of Loqi's shout didn't provide any information where the general was. He'd run off much faster than Cor had been expecting the moment they'd recovered from the fall and Cor hadn't seen him since. It did, however, cause a fear that Cor hadn't felt since he saw the smoke rising from the Citadel as Lucis fell to grip him.

It took half an hour for Cor to find Loqi. Stuck again. Down in a hole that Cor assumed had opened up beneath him. These old ruins had a tendency to shift and change without warning.

Unsettling relief swirled in him and he ignored the evidence that what they had was something more than they'd said it would be.

"You have a knack for getting yourself stuck," Cor remarked.

"Shut up."

After how long he'd been down there and the time he'd been in the vines, Cor thought for sure that Loqi wouldn't be as stubbornly against his help this time.

"I can get myself out," Loqi announced.

Cor doubted that very much, but didn't say anything.

Instead, he sat down and watched as Loqi attempted to find a handhold in smooth stone. Eventually, the floor would lift again. Or close, whichever had happened. Cor couldn't just leave him and continue on with that uncertainty lingering over him.

"So what happened?"

"The floor just vanished," Loqi snapped. "Now be quiet so I can concentrate!"

For a few moments, Cor was.

"You're lucky there was something down there."

The look Loqi gave him definitely fell into the 'if looks could kill' category. Cor was immune to especially Loqi's by now.

"You know it'll close over you eventually."

"There is some trick to getting back out. They would build some way of getting out in the event that one of their own fell in."

Cor wasn't so sure of that, but he'd leave Loqi to his hoping. He stood again and looked around. In his experience, controls for traps weren't in reasonable locations and ancient ruins didn't have them to begin with. But it was worth looking around.

Maybe he'd find whatever the Niffs were looking for and could keep it out of their hands.

Or he could pull something out of Noctis' armiger. There would be something useful in there.

"Dammit!" Loqi shouted. "This is ridiculous!"

That settled it. Cor reached into Noctis' still unfamiliar armiger, digging around until he found a rope. Hopefully they weren't in need of it.

Once he had one end tied around a sturdy column, he tossed the other down and ignored Loqi's glare.

"You know we're going to have to go on a date after this," Loqi said.

"Sure."

+1

The battle had been going on longer than it usually did. With the rest of the base in the battle as well, Cor supposed that wasn't surprising. Nor was the fact that Loqi continued his attack even when it was clear he had already lost. Whatever else they did, in the end they remained on opposing sides of a war.

Barely dodging another missile, Cor resisted the urge to yell at Loqi. That wouldn't do him any good.

Instead, he avoided fire from the base itself and searched for a way to end this before they both died. Incapacitating his mech would force Loqi to eject and hopefully get out of the flaming ruins.

It took a few well-aimed swings of his katana for the pink mech to fall to the ground.

The top didn't open.

"Shit," he heard Loqi over the speakers. "Shit!"

"Loqi?"

It still wasn't opening. Loqi's mech wasn't responding the way it should have been.

Cor ran toward the fallen mech before he could stop to think about what he was doing. The fire was spreading fast, eagerly following the oil that he had foolishly caused to spread across the cement. In his experience, it wasn't too long before the mech exploded without any fire helping it along.

"Loqi, talk to me! What's going on?"

"It won't open! I can't- I'm-"

That sounded dangerously close to hysterics. Panicking was not going to help Loqi.

"Loqi. Stay calm, I-"

"I can't get out!" Loqi yelled at him. "You expect me to remain calm right now?"

"Panicking will just make it worse."

His katana could open it, in theory. It could cut through enough to force it down like this in the first place... Cor looked over the top, scanning his options and ignoring that he could hear something suspiciously like crying.

"Get down Loqi."

The last thing Cor wanted to do was hurt him in his efforts to get him out. He had no idea where exactly Loqi was in there. Just an estimate based off Loqi's stature and the size of the mech.

"You good?"

"Hurry up!"

Keeping as close to the top as reasonably possible, Cor stabbed through the metal on the side and sliced across. It didn't take long to get it open enough for Loqi to squeeze through.

"Come on."

Loqi scrambled out and the two of them ran out of the base as the mech exploded.

Just hearing Loqi's crying had been bad enough. Now he could actually see the tears and how much of a mess he was.

"You're alive and safe now."

"I- I almost..."

Loqi cried harder and Cor grimaced. He had never been terribly good at comforting people, even after helping look after Noctis. That and, despite the relationship, he didn't think Loqi would accept any.

"I'm not ready to-" Loqi choked on the word and Cor pulled him into a hug.

Petting Loqi's hair was the only thing he could think of to do. The armor prevented him from rubbing his back or holding him any tighter.

"No one is ever ready to die," Cor said. "Even when they think they are, when the time comes..."

Loqi looked up at him and Cor brushed a few tears from his cheek. Cor managed a smile.

"Great reminder that you're human."

Loqi buried his face in Cor's shirt again and Cor ignored the way he could feel Loqi's armor pressing uncomfortably into him.

[asreoninfusion]

Vampire AU Chapter 4

.....

.....

..... I’m sorry. This is nothing but exposition. Literally. Just. Five pages of exposition. It’s got a whole heap of world-building elements, but this fic has been so poorly planned on my part (i.e. not planned at all) that all of that got shoved into this one chapter. >>;;;

-----------------------

Zack called during Cloud’s lunch break the next day. It was not the most coherent of conversations, since Zack started by apologising profusely without even explaining why.

“—and I know it’s such a pain, I really wanted to hang out with you more as soon as possible, but it’s just this thing’s come up, and I’m sorry, I swear. I’ll make it up to you when I get back, but they don’t even know how long—”

“Zack,” Cloud had interrupted. “Just tell me what’s going on.”

Nothing worthy of such a tirade, that was for sure. Zack just had a mission out of town, and would be gone for at least one or two nights. It was unfortunate timing, because that would take it into the weekend and Cloud had really wanted to spend more time talking with Zack and getting some answers. But it was hardly the first time Zack had been sent off, and it wouldn’t be the last. At least it wasn’t weeks this time.

The fact Zack had been making such a big deal out of it actually helped Cloud handle it better. It kind of stung that Zack was leaving so soon, even though Cloud knew full well it wasn’t his fault. Zack complaining about being tempted just to ditch the mission made Cloud laugh and put things into perspective. It was Zack’s damn job, and he had told Zack as much.

“I’m not going anywhere, moron. I’ll be here when you get back.”

Zack shipped out before Cloud finished work, so Cloud had just gone home to his own place. It felt a little weird – Friday nights had almost always been the one time he put aside to see Zack, no matter how busy the rest of the week had been. It was quiet without him.

Cloud hardly minded quiet. He would’ve killed for it back in his army days. But with quiet came the unfortunate habit for his brain to overthink.

Around Zack, everything seemed so straightforward. Cloud felt like Zack would always have his back, no matter what. So even if he didn’t know all the answers right then, between himself and Zack they’d solve any problem the world threw at him. He didn’t know everything about what being a vampire meant, but Zack did, and he knew Zack would tell him, piece by piece between games and food and kisses. Or more.

The longer Cloud was without Zack’s reassuring presence, the more he began to doubt.

He didn’t know what being a vampire meant; he’d barely scratched the surface. Sure, he knew a whole fucking lot thanks to his little obsession, but that was about fictional shit. His interest had previously only been an idea. Maybe something to turn into an incredibly hot roleplay with a lover. When it came to the reality of it, he was suddenly in over his head.

That was another thing. The sort of thing that made Cloud lie in bed and pull the pillow over his head, wishing he could smother his embarrassment out. It was one thing to have a fetish centred around a fictional concept, but if they weren’t fictional after all—there were real people who were vampires and Cloud had just fetishized the shit out of them as a group without even knowing—gods. He felt like the stupidest, most thoughtless pile of shit on the planet.

Worst of all was he hadn’t even changed; he still thought of Zack, Zack’s fangs, how it felt when they grazed against Cloud’s skin, and he still got as turned on as ever. Fuck.

Cloud rolled over aggressively, burying himself into the covers as if he could make himself disappear. He needed to stop thinking about it. There was nothing he could do about his actions thus far; all he could do was try to do a lot better in the future.

With nothing else to do on a Friday night at such short notice - and never having been much of one to go out anyway - Cloud had ended up staying in and going to bed early. He was regretting that course of action now, because it only resulted in longer to lay awake while his brain replayed ‘101 moments you hideously embarrassed yourself and made everyone hate you’.

“Fuck you too, brain,” Cloud mumbled into the pillow.

But maybe even that was better than the other worry that gnawed at his gut. Because then, on top of all that, there were the others. The other vampires who Zack was with. He didn’t even know how many, just that Zack seemed to have been talking in the plural.

He wasn’t going to judge. There had been a guy in his old unit who had a polyamorous relationship; they’d all been privy to that development, whether they’d liked it or not. Things hadn’t been working out between him and his girlfriend – they were so in love, but working for ShinRa just didn’t leave enough time for him to see her as often as she needed him to. Feeling shitty as hell but understanding, he’d actually helped her set up other dates, one of which was with a good friend of his. They’d hit it off. But rather than ending things and moving on with the new relationship, they’d come to an agreement to make it work with all three of them.

Most of the unit had given the guy tons of shit for it, assuming the girl was just with this new dude and keeping him hanging around for fun. But Cloud admired him. He’d fought tooth and nail for that relationship, and he’d ended up with something that worked for all parties involved. Cloud could tell he was so much happier after it all got sorted.

So, no. It didn’t bother Cloud that Zack had other lovers. But… he wanted to meet them, at least. Be on good terms with each other, be friends. Maybe they wouldn’t ever hit it off as anything more, but that was okay. To Cloud, it felt important to know about the other people who played such a significant role in Zack’s life.

He’d talk to Zack about it when he got back. Maybe then he could shake his vague feeling of unease about the whole thing.

It was a plan; or the start of one, at least.

That just left one last burning question in Cloud's mind. Or perhaps not so much a question as an entire topic. Everything about vampires, Cloud wanted to know. Had Zack always been a vampire, or had he become one somehow? How did that work? He clearly didn’t have a problem going out in the sunlight or eating garlic, where all those myths just bullshit? Was his enhanced strength and speed anything to do with being a vampire, or was that just from having been in SOLDIER before? What did ShinRa know about vampires, and what was their beef with them? What about the supposed ‘vampire threat’ Zack – and others, Cloud presumed – got sent out to combat occasionally?

It was fucking exhausting just thinking about it. He couldn’t even blame Zack for not having told him – there was so much Cloud needed to know, it would take forever to talk it through. They’d do it, though, piece by piece.

Of course, Cloud couldn’t get any direct answers until Zack got back. But, he wondered…  a lot of stuff out there was just the cycle of movies and books regurgitating the latest trendy incarnation of vampire lore, but Cloud knew of one or two places that might have some more relevant information. If he got a feel for what to expect, it might make that conversation with Zack faster and less one-sided. If nothing else, they could laugh over how wrong everyone was.

Yeah, he decided. He’d do that tomorrow.

By the time Cloud’s brain had finally stopped overthinking enough to let him sleep, it was already the early hours of the morning. That was probably the reason why he woke up a lot later than he’d intended the following day.

Cloud blearily informed his alarm clock that it was a piece of shit (though, of course, he was the one who had set it specifically not to go off on the weekends). After a quick bowl of cereal, a shower and getting dressed, Cloud headed out to the station.

Did he need to go to the library to do his research? No. He had a laptop and a phone that both would have been entirely capable, but… Zack had him getting paranoid. Cloud was absolutely not meant to know about the whole vampire thing, and he could get Zack in serious shit if anyone found out he had told Cloud.

He knew it was stupid. What were the chances anyone was gonna be checking his internet activity? Sure, his wifi was provided by ShinRa - a bonus they provided alongside the subsidised apartments they offered to their staff (it was the only way any of the lower level workers could afford to live above the Plate). That didn’t mean ShinRa was watching all the information that went through the network.

Whatever. It was nice to go out somewhere on his day off anyway.

Cloud hadn’t been to the library in a long time; it was pleasant to watch the familiar building roll into sight as the train approached. It really had been years.

When Cloud had first arrived in Midgar and joined the army, he’d never intended to stay there. His goal was SOLDIER. But he failed his first attempt to get in, and before he had a second chance the whole SOLDIER project was shut down. He drifted for a bit; to the logistics department first, then the engineering corps.

That was when he’d sought solace in the library; they were provided with basic training, of course, but Cloud had found a love in working with mechanics, and wanted to devour far more information than the army provided. He’d finally found something he excelled at. And excelled enough that he’d been picked out for an internship in the ShinRa’s general engineering department.

He’d been working in the engineering department since. Instead of just maintaining the equipment the military used, Cloud now got to play with anything from cutting-edge robotics to the mako reactors. As well as a few side projects of his own.

Although it had been a while, not much had changed. Cloud found himself drifting fondly to the non-fiction section; in particular, the shelves that housed the library’s books on mechanics. And of more immediate concern, the small study room behind that section that also housed a pair of computers for library patrons to use.

The room was empty, as Cloud had been counting on. Being small and out of the way, a lot of people didn’t know about it, or perhaps simply couldn’t be bothered to go all the way up to the third floor just to sit in a glorified cupboard to study.

Cloud slid into the computer seat and logged on.

The first thing he wanted to check was ShinRa’s official stance. Zack had said they viewed vampires as the ‘bad guys’ – why? They kept Zack employed, what was the difference between him and anyone else?

There was nothing on ShinRa’s own site. Just a generic statement about protecting the population from monsters, environmental disasters, and other threats.

Searching specifically for news articles featuring ‘ShinRa’ and ‘vampire’ as keywords turned out to be a little more useful. The oldest article was from five years ago, asking for ShinRa’s comment on a sudden surge in attacks in Midgar that were being attributed to vampires. The PR spokesman denied there being any such thing as vampires, suggesting instead that these were simply another vaguely humanoid monster that panicked victims were mistaking as something else. ShinRa would protect, as always.

Cloud noted the date down. Surge of vampire attacks – that could be relevant to something.

The newer articles didn’t seem to have anything of relevance. Cloud skim-read through a few; the only difference seemed to be that, over time, the PR department had picked up the public’s colloquial term, and now used ‘vampire’ themselves as a word to refer to the sort of monsters that preferred to kill by ripping their victims throat out with their teeth.

Attacks dropped to a steady rate, no more than any other kind of monster (human or otherwise) around, and the idea mostly faded from the public consciousness.

Next line of enquiry, then. What were these supposed ‘vampire’ monsters? ‘Cause they sure didn’t sound a damn thing like Zack. Or any of the types of vampires generally popularised by the media. (Cloud knew a lot about those ones – ahem.) In fact, the monster thing was new; Cloud couldn’t really find any mention of it at all anywhere between really, really old myths and then the reports starting five years ago.

Hesitantly, Cloud checked some of his old forum haunts. The awkward, hideously embarrassing forum haunts. That was… ahh. Cloud swallowed. A few minutes of clicking around turned into almost half an hour, but he determined one thing; that was nothing with any actual news there, that was for sure. These were the kind of vampires he was more familiar with. There were written stories, stills taken from movies, art of various characters, nothing more than that.

He could feel his face heating up, though. Just some of those picture, fangs sinking into flesh, seeing the blood well up beneath them… Fuck. Why was he like this?!

Cloud quickly clicked away, glancing behind him even though he was alone in the room. A whole fucking decade and he still hadn’t escaped his embarrassing vampire phase. And probably wasn’t ever going to now.

Anyway. There was one last site he particularly wanted to check – the reason he’d been so particular about not doing this anywhere he could be traced to. AVALANCHE. It was just a conspiracy theory website, but it had proven correct before. Namely, when SOLDIER had been shut down.

Cloud had been desperate for information. Of course he had been, his dream had just been fucking shattered. And on ShinRa’s end was nothing but radio silence. For literally months. All that had been issued was a generic statement about SOLDIER no longer running, but other departments being fully functional and ready to defend Midgar as much as ever.

So Cloud had turned to other places. Rumours had been rife, of course. But AVALANCHE was the one place that had come out with a statement and stuck to it, claiming there had been a mass desertion. Another year later, Cloud met Zack, an ex-SOLDIER, and that was confirmed to be true. Though even then, no one knew the reason for the mass desertion. Zack hadn’t elaborated beyond a tight-lipped; “ShinRa was doing some fucked up shit. They were right to get out.”

Of course, the problem was, AVALANCHE was incredibly anti-ShinRa. Even though Cloud wanted nothing to do with the rest of the organisation, just flicking through their ‘news’ page could get him in serious shit. Especially since he worked with goddamn mako reactors.

Best just find what he needed and get out.

He searched their archives for vampire stories and theories. Every hit was within the last five years; nothing older than that. That matched up to the other date Cloud had got, claiming a surge of vampire attacks around then.

The predominant theory AVALANCHE put forward was that ShinRa themselves were involved. The timing was almost too coincidental… the vampire attacks started almost exactly the same time SOLDIER was shut down. The one group of elite fighters who would be able to handle monsters like that, gone right when they were needed.

The hairs on the back of Cloud’s neck stood on end. He hadn’t even realised… he had been so preoccupied by everything going on with SOLDIER that he had barely registered the whole vampire/monster thing at the time, something that was fairly unusual for him. Normally just the mention of vampires made him sit up and pay attention, but having his life goal destroyed before his eyes had put a bit of a dampener on his enthusiasm for things at that particular point.

He hadn’t realised those events had been so close…

AVALANCE often stipulated that monsters in general were caused by exposure to mako. The feral ones had those mutations, those distinctive eyes. These vampires were monsters, but so much more humanoid. Were they too the product of mako exposure and mutation, but on people?

The SOLDIER process had involved using mako as an enhancement agent, Cloud knew that much. What if it had… gone wrong somehow, for some of them?

For all of them?

“Zack…”

Cloud had enough information. His blood felt like it was running cold, and he was cursing himself for doing this at a time when Zack wasn’t around. Because oh, boy, did he have questions now. Even if it was just a yes or a no answer, he needed to know. Was there a link with SOLDIER?

If there was… Cloud wondered about Zack’s other lovers, the other vampires; had they been SOLDIERs once as well? Why were some like Zack, still human, while others had become monsters?

Cloud logged off the computer, his history automatically erased by the system.

The wait for Zack to get back was going to be torture.

[nommerwatch]

Happy Valentines Day, @asexualtabris! I was your partner for the  @mcgenjivalentine exchange. Enjoy! 

The parties in Oasis are always insane, despite the omnics, despite the Global Crisis, despite the bodies stacked up like firewood all over the world. In Oasis, they think that Jesse’s hat and revolver are charming, and his boots are quaint, and his stories of shootouts as as no good kid are sweet and rustic. It’s easy to be charming in Oasis, because everyone is so drunk and so rich and so ready to be charmed.

He’s at a ritzy party tracking down a black marker dealer, whiskey in his hand and a woman’s hand on his ass, when he spots a particularly fancy omnic across the room, and has to swallow his surprise in a gulp of his drink. The whiskey goes down smoothly, but the smallest wrinkle appears on the face of the woman he’s been charming, and by the time he’s finished properly recapturing her attention the ‘omnic’ has vanished. No matter. If he caught a glimpse of Genji it was because Genji wanted to be seen, and if Genji is not speaking to him now it only means they’ll speak later. Jesse returns to his party.

The prediction comes true that night, when Jesse returns to his room, drunk off his ass and ready to collapse, and flops onto his bed, eyes closed.

“I know you’re there,” he drawls. When he opens his eyes, Genji has appeared on the edge of his bed, holding the Blackwatch datapad Jesse hid in the DVD player.

“Cowboy,” Genji says, putting the datapad down. “You are not as drunk as I thought.”

“Oh, I am. You’re just not as quiet as you think.” Poking Genji is an old game, one both of them enjoy. Genji rises from his chair and stalks lazily over to the bed. Jesse is drunk enough to openly admire the curve of Genji’s chassis, his thighs, the delicate menace in each of his steps. Jesse’s always had a weakness for shiny, dangerous things.

“Have you ever been married, Jesse?” Genji asks, lazily.

“Why, are you proposing?” Genji’s visor slides up, and he grins. The smile stretches at his scarred lips, turning the expression feral. It’s the sort of expression that is one hundred percent unadulterated trouble, the sort Jesse loves.

“Maybe,” Genji says.

The beat doesn’t drop until the mission is over, when Jesse goes to check out and is congratulated on his new husband and his upgrade to the honeymoon suite at the Kusanagi hotel.

“Thank you kindly,” Jesse tells the receptionist omnic. “I don’t suppose you could give me directions? I seem to have misplaced mine.”

The Kusanagi is a very new, very exclusive hotel, the kind where a room costs as much money as Jesse used to make in a year. Blackwatch ain’t exactly comin’ up in the world so much as it’s going sideways, but it has the occasional perks. Better than starving in a hole, anyway, and if the sheriff ever busts him it’ll be the UN and not some janky podunk town sheriff. Jesse McCree has reached the big-leagues.

He lets the friendly omnic receptionist check him in and ambles up to his suite, half tempted to take a detour to swipe some stuff from the other rooms. Places like this always make his palms itchy; old reflex from when he was stealing shit out of corner stores back in Dorado. He resists. A scan of his fingerprint- god, he does not like having his prints in the system, but it would have been weird to object- gets him into his suite.. King size bed, champagne, chocolate, fridge, television, kitchen, hot tub, city view, balcony. The works and then some. Everything but Genji.

Fuck it, Jesse thinks.  

He’s sitting in the hot tub drinking whiskey and texting Reyes when Genji comes in. Not through the door, naturally. Genji would never be caught using something as pedestrian as a door. Genji comes in through the window, despite the fact that they’re forty stories up; Jesse catches a glimpse via one of the wall mirrors.

“Sweetheart, bring me some champagne, would you,” he calls, and keeps texting. A beat, and then Genji walks in. There’s blood splashed across one of his thighs and champagne in the other. A long, silent moment, and Jesse realizes Genji is staring. He wishes the visor was off; it would be nice to see the look on Genji’s face, to know where his eyes are going.

“You look like a bear,” Genji says, recovering.

“Well, ain’t you a charmer,” Jesse says. Genji places the champagne bottle down on the counter, out of Jesse’s reach. “But seeing as you’re my darling husband who got us this place, I’m inclined to forgive you. You go out for a light jog, honey?”

“I was working,” Genji says. “Life is not just about sitting in hot tubs.”

“Well, someone’s got to work, and it might as well be someone else,” Jesse says lazily. He rises from the hot tub and pretends not to notice the way Genji goes still, then grabs the champagne and holds it out to Genji.

“You got a screw?”

“What?” Genji says. Jesse’s spent enough time studying the tilt of Genji’s visor to know where Genji was looking.

“Screw,” Jesse says lazily. “For the bottle, to open it.” He sees Genji shifting and doesn’t bother trying to dodge the blow; the floor is slippery, and he’d just embarrass himself. Instead, he hooks an arm around Genji’s waist, and both of them end up on the floor. Jesse’s hand is on Genji’s waist. The champagne fell into the hot tub, but didn’t break, so Jesse counts this as a win.

“Violent, aren’t you,” Jesse says, and runs two fingers through the cooling blood on Genji’s thigh.

“You are unmannerly,” Genji says, as if he didn’t just knock Jesse ass over teakettle.

“You married me, darlin’,” Jesse tells him. “What’s up?” It’s not the weirdest place he’s gotten a briefing.

“Put some clothes on,” Genji tells him, and retreats hastily from the room.

Jesse puts his pants on, humming, and rescues the champagne from the hot tub. Genji glances at him, tilts his head slightly and proceeds past him into the bathroom and closes the door. A few moments, and there’s the sound of the shower running. Genji’s managed to avoid getting any blood in their room. Jesse smiles and sprawls out on the bed.

Genji comes out a few minutes later, shiny and wet from the shower, looking like a car Jesse wants to drive.

“What’s up?” he asks. Genji lazily twirls a set of shuriken between his fingers like the show-off that he is, and activates something with the other hand. Bug blocker, looks like.

“There are some people in this hotel who are trafficking in omnics. Black market dealers. You are here to provide cover, and to shoot anyone who tries to shoot me.”

“Are you saying you don’t love me? My feelings are hurt.” Genji’s visor comes up, and he grins, then advances, wolfish, onto the bed.

“I did not say that,” he says. Jesse is treated to an actual kiss, the first one’s he enjoyed in ages. It’s one thing to kiss people for work, and another to have a hundred pounds of distilled murder in your lap. Genji’s lips are scarred, but Jesse doesn’t mind. Not remotely. There’s plenty of beautiful people in the world, but there’s only one Genji. He feels like he’s had a lot more than a few sips of whiskey. Genji pulls away.

“Cowboy,” Genji says, and smiles again. It’s a dangerous expression: bright and feral, beautiful as a bullet. “Don’t tell Reyes,” he says, and kisses Jesse again.

This, naturally, is when the door clicks open, and a set of omnics, apologizing profusely, peer through the door.

“There’s been a---”

“I’m busy,” Jesse says, not needing to fake the annoyance in his voice.

“This matter is---”

“Busy,” Jesse says, louder, doing his best to imitate Reyes’ voice. The omnics beep sadly, and then the door closes. Genji at least waits until the door is closed to start laughing, his shoulders rising and falling. Jesse reluctantly bumps him ahead by at least five points in their game of one-ups-manship.

“I ain’t one to hold grudges,” Jesse lies, “but I hope your engine stalls.”

Genji only laughs harder.

~~~

Jesse is sulky after Genji’s trick; he vanishes for a few hours, long enough that Genji is forced to go look for him. He finds Jesse at the artificial beach attached to the hotel, chatting with a set of beautiful teenagers. When Genji was still human, he would have loved such company, but he is not. He is what remains of a man, held together with steel and electronics.

Jesse spots him and waves enthusiastically. Robot fucker, Genji thinks; it is a thought that comes from the most caustic, bitter part of him, the part that used to urge him towards greater and greater transgressions against his family. He shoves it away. Jesse has a taste for dangerous things and heists and Genji is a weapon and a war chest all rolled up in one. If Genji were still human, were still a Shimada, were still living uncomfortably off blood-money in Hanamura, he would make it a game to see how long he could string Jesse along without sleeping with him.

But Genji is a thing now, as much as a person, and Jesse is waving to him. He advances, allows himself to be introduced as Jesse’s fiance. One of the girls starts to say something about omnics, then catches herself.

“I was hoping I could borrow my husband,” Genji says, and shamelessly swipes Jesse from them. Jesse doesn’t mind, or he doesn’t appear to mind. Part of Genji wants to dismiss him as stupid, a dumb hick who’s a decent shot. The other part knows better; he’s seen Jesse charm information out of professionals, steal information from thieves and kill seven men with six bullets. If Jesse wants to hide, he can.

It wouldn’t be so bad, to kiss him and mean it. Genji might even enjoy it. The fake sand crunches beneath his feet, and he wonders morosely if any of it has gotten into his joints. You never liked the beach anyway, his memory reminds him.

“Penny for your thoughts, partner?” Jesse says.  

“The people who are stealing omnics are going to try and steal me,” Genji says, and steers them towards the relative privacy of the gardens. Once there, he continues. “They have been tracking me. The program that they use overrides the omnic programming, makes them docile and obedient. Angela does not think it will work, but you have been enlisted as a precaution.” The bitterness in his voice at the last surprises even him; two years a robot, and it still blindsides him sometimes, how much he’s lost. He waits for Jesse to make some sort of obnoxious quip about how Genji is his, but Jesse steps back, allowing Genji his space.

“What do you need?” he asks. The list is long. Genji needs his body back, needs not to have this stupid crush on Jesse, needs to have hair and skin and fingers that can feel.  

“If there is some kind of electronic attack that disables my systems, we are counting on you to work manually. Otherwise, nothing. You are my cover.” Jesse grins wolfishly. He’s got a line of stubble coming in; Genji would like to know what it feels like. He thinks Jesse would let him. In the bath, Jesse’s fingers had lingered on his waist, his thigh.

“I’m nothing if not manually dextrous,” Jesse says, and wiggles his fingers at Genji. Despite everything Genji’s mood lifts. Jesse is fun, and one of the better monsters Genji has cohabited with over the years.

“Why don’t you show me,” he says, tilting his head towards one of the exits.

Genji beats Jesse impeccably at tennis, and compounds his victory by stealing Jesse’ hat and hanging it, unreachable, on top of the hotel flagpole.

~~~

The attack does not come that night, or the next night, or even the night after that. Genji and Jesse go the gardens, and to the beach, and to a conference optimistically titled “Rebuilding the world! Architecture in a Post-Crisis Economy.” Jesse doesn’t care about architecture, but he enjoys the free wine and the careless scientists and the practice at lying.

Genji’s rage cohabitates uneasily with the two of them, but each night it disperses a little, allows Genji to come a little bit closer. Jesse waits, unworried. Genji is a lot more animal than robot, whatever he might think; a skittish, predatory thing, like a mountain lion Jesse saw sneaking around the ruins of Santa Fe.

On the fourth night, Genji decides he wants to go out clubbing.

“You think scientists go for that kinda thing?” Jesse says lazily. He’s sprawled out on the bed, enjoying the rare moment of relaxation. Next week he’ll probably be in a foxhole; Reyes doesn’t like him getting used to things being fancy. If Jesse didn’t know better, he’d think Reyes was determined to be his dad. He grabs a cigarette from the side table and lights up.

“They are human as well,” Genji says idly. “Your contempt of science suits you badly.”

“Don’t get it, is all,” Jesse says with a shrug. “I’m a simple man. That sort of thing is too complicated for me.” Genji advances onto the bed and plops down unexpectedly next to Jesse like a cat. Jesse resists the urge to try and pet him.

“Liar,” Genji says idly. “I’ve seen your transcripts.” Jesse knew those would come back to bite him someday, but Reyes wanted him to get a degree, made him take a bunch of dumbass tests. Didn’t mean nothing.

“I don’t get why people want that,” Jesse clarifies. “Whole life spent inside, never going out and seeing anything.”

“What do you want to see, Jesse?” Genji asks. Jesse takes a drag on his cigarette and few moments to reflect.

“I reckon I’d like it if Overwatch quit giving out my files to anyone who asks,” he says. He wonders what else is in that file, whether Reyes thought it was worth writing down his mother’s name and her criminal record, whether Mercy knows that Jesse was barely fifteen the first time he was drug up in front of the judge. Still. No use in parading his soft spots in front of Genji. He gets up, goes to the bathroom, steals a beer from the mini fridge. When he returns Genji’s on the phone.

“In fifteen minutes? Excellent. We will be there.” Jesse raises an eyebrow at him.

“We’re going to go see the city,” Genji says, and hold up a booklet. On the cover, a slim boat glides over the waters of the city. It is an apology of sorts.

The boat is a slim, beautiful thing with a good engine and smooth controls; Jesse’s bad mood vanishes the moment they get out onto the water. It’s late, the sky turned dark and starry, sunset long gone, warm light shining from the high towers, casting gold reflections on the water.  Jesse’s grown some since he was that fifteen year old kid dying of thirst down in Arizona, but he still remembers the first time he saw the ocean, how utterly astonished he was at the size of the sea.

“You have a boating permit,” Genji observes. He does. Reyes took him out one day and taught him how to steer, how to fix an engine, how to swim, how to radio for help. Everything but catching fish, and that because Jesse had been seventeen and stupid and would have lost his shit if he’d realized what Reyes was up to, taking him out to fish. He hadn’t.

“Reyes taught me how. Claimed it was for a mission, but I don’t use it none too often.”

“The water is a strange place for a cowboy. Perhaps you should be a pirate, instead.”

“Pirates vs. ninjas?” Jesse asks. Genji laughs, but does not offer a response. The silence stretches out comfortably between them, the beauty of Oasis a shared communion better than anything they could say. Jesse takes the boat through its paces, fast, slow, turns, drifts, and Genji sits on top of the cabin, unbothered by all the swerves.

At last, Jesse slows the boat down and drops anchor.  Genji is still atop the cabin, his feet swinging slowly back and forth. Jesse climbs up to join him. The two of them sit side by side, gazing out over the dark river and the golden lights. In the distance, another boat glides over the water, the faint hum of the engine growing steadily louder.

“I have not been swimming in a long time,” Genji comments, glancing out over the water. Since before whatever turned him into this, Jesse would guess. Genji’s files are much better guarded than Jesse’s; Overwatch are a bunch of tight-asses about security clearances. It hasn’t stopped Jesse from breaking into a few offices, but the bits of paper he has found are sparse. All he knows is that Genji was part of a serious gang, and it turned him into this on the way out.

“I’m sure Mercy could cook something up, if she hasn’t already.”

“Do you think this body floats?” Genji asks.

“I seen you scale a wall like it was nothing, Genji. You look so light a stiff breeze could blow you away.” Genji snorts and pushed his shoulder sideways, against Jesse’s.

“I am glad I am not as oversized as you. It makes people arrogant.”

“And you’re just a paragon of humility.”

“I am as humble as they come.” It’s Jesse’s turn to bump his shoulders against Genji’s. Genji slides up his visor and smirks at him. His eyes reflect the light like a cat’s, or something even more strange; they glow green, the pupils slit like an animal’s. Jesse turns towards him, drawn by the sense that he’s on the verge of some great, unspeakable secret, and then the radio comes on in a burst of static.

“Recall code 78-91; Activation 5302.” Jesse glances at the radio, then back at Genji. Genji’s eyes are glowing, shedding light like an internal fire. His shurikens rise and fall back into his fingers and Jesse realizes in a burst of panic that the omnic hijacking program has just been activated.

He hops down into the boat, grabs his gunbelt and his holster, regretting that he didn’t bring his grenades, and reflects that he might be better off jumping in the lake. Genji is fast, and Jesse ain’t too likely to beat him in close quarters. As he’s loading up his gun, Genji hops down from the roof, eyes still ablaze. There’s something moving around a him, a kind of shifting shadow that makes the hair on Jesse’s arms stand up.

Jesse fires. The bullet pings harmlessly into upwards. deflected by Genji’s sword, and then Genji is on him. He shoves Jesse’s gun to one side and slides his sword up against Jesse’s throat. His visor opens. When he smiles, the light glints oddly off his teeth, making them look like fangs.

“Oh, cowboy,” he says, his voice light and teasing. “It is only me.” The sword vanishes back into its sheath, and Genji steps back. 

“You’ll forgive me if I ain’t too trusting of that,” Jesse says.

“Darlin’,” Genji says, his accent a bad parody of Jesse’s. “You will see.”

When the other boat comes in, Jesse is waiting in the water on the other side. Genji, who is pretending to have been hijacked, is standing on the boat, his visor down. The sound of heavy boots, and two of the men climb on board.

“Unit designation and purpose, please,” one of the men instructs.

“Unit A7- 35, reporting for duty. I am an infiltration and assassination unit, fielded by Overwatch-” the rest of Genji’s answer is lost in the sound of water as Jesse begins to swim.

There are five men, two on the boat with Genji, and three on the boat that’s about to have Jesse. The key is to take them alive. Jesse swims over, grabs the side ladder, and waits.  

“Do you know any other languages?”

“竜神の剣を喰らえ,” Genji says, and a green light flashes like a beacon, shining out over the waters. Step right up, Jesse thinks.

He has only a few moments after rising from the waters to coordinate his shot, the targets flashing in his head like little skulls.

“Draw,” he says, and fires. He’ll have to thank Ana for her sleep darts, for insisting that he keep them in his pack. The men hit the deck. A shot rings out through the darkness, clipping Jesse’s shoulder. He staggers back and throws himself behind cover. A wild howl rises from the other boat, like a phantom train rushing through the night.  No second shot is fired. Jesse peeks out. Something is coiled in the darkness, moving through the air like smoke, visible only in pieces. A claw, a sinuous body, scales, sharp teeth. The image resolves. The dragon stops and turns to face him, and though the body is alien, Jesse feels, impossibly, that they have met before.

The light vanishes, and Jesse is alone in the dark with three kidnappers who are starting to wake up. He rushes to tie up the men, hurrying from body to body. The last one is twitching when Jesse reaches him, his hand creeping towards his gun, and has to be knocked into the deck a few times before Jesse can tie him up. Job finished, he hurries over to Genji.

Genji stands in the middle of the boat, blood smoking from his blade, and smiles. The green is gone from his eyes.

“They still alive?” Jesse asks.

“Yes, although they may regret it.”

“Do you know how to drive a boat?” Jesse asks. Genji begins to laugh.

It takes some time for Jesse to drive to shore with the bodies, call in the Op, fill out his report, and direct Overwatch back out to the other boat, and he’s exhausted by the time he makes it back to the hotel room. An initial scan reveals no sign of Genji. Jesse flops into bed and whacks his arm on the metal chassis of a concealed ninja.

“Rude,” Genji says irritably.

“You don’t even sleep,” Jesse says crossly. “What are you doing under here?”

“It is warm,” Genji says, as if that’s an answer. Jesse half expects him to scram, but he stays, even when Jesse nestles down under the same covers. More than that, he scoots closer, as if daring Jesse to touch him. Jesse’s eyes are closing, his body heavy with sleep, too tired for whatever game Genji is playing. Genji is warm from the covers, his body relaxed, held gently against Jesse’s as if he, too, is tired. Jesse yawns, rests his chin on Genji’s shoulder, wraps an arm around his waist, and falls asleep.

~~~

Genji is a little surprised and a little annoyed when he realizes that Jesse has fallen asleep; he had intended to sleep with him, but not like this. It must be the blood loss. Jesse was not hurt badly, but he was hurt, and Genji can concede that it is four in the morning. Sleep means very little to him; it is enough to mediate for a few hours and see Angela occasionally.

Jesse’s breathing is slow and even, his arm pressed pleasantly against Genji’s side, his breath stirring the back of Genji's neck. Strange, fragile idiot, who shot three people in three seconds, who was not bothered by Genji’s dragon and was too smart to ask about it. Genji will tell him someday, but not yet. For now it is enough to be held, to be safe, to fall into to the soft darkness with someone by his side, his dragon returned to him for the first time since he lost to Hanzo. This is mine, he thinks. My body, my dragon, my companion. This is worth keeping.

In the morning, Genji wakes to find Jesse still asleep, soft snores emanating from his mouth. He considers drawing something on Jesse’s face but finds that he does not have the patience. He wants Jesse to wake up. A few seconds divest them of the covers, and then Genji climbs onto Jesse’s legs, straddling him. Jesse jerks, reaching for his gun, then realizes Genji isn’t attacking him. His hair is mussed with sleep, his eyes half-open. Genji feels the first stirring of an awful tenderness and touches Jesse's face to make it go away.

“Wake up,” he says.

“Genji?” Jesse mumbles, and yawns widely, stretching.

“Good morning, cowboy.”

“Is there a reason you’re on top of me, or do you just like the view?” Jesse drawls. The view’s not bad. Jesse stripped off his wet clothing the night before, and his bare chest is exposed, along with his wide forearms and a trail of hair leading down below his waistband. Genji lazily traces a finger down the middle of Jesse’s chest, studiously ignoring the way Jesse’s hand is creeping up his leg. Jesse thinks Genji is going to run for it. Instead, he leans down and captures Jesse’s lower lip in his teeth, then gives him a kiss.

“This ain’t a trick?” Jesse asks when they break apart. “Jack Morrison ain’t about to come busting through that door and get a faceful?”

“I am insulted that you are thinking of another man at this time,” Genji tells him.

“Forgive me, darlin’,” Jesse says, grinning. “You were so beautiful I thought I was still dreaming.”

There are no more words after that.

[pixelatedflood]

What’s wrong with the startup world, and the book that lays it down

I have had the chance to read, over the last couple of months (mostly in the last 21 days, since CMU homework consumed the rest of that period) Dan Lyon’s book “Disrupted: My Misadventure in the Start-Up Bubble”.

I purchased this book around when I first arrived to the US (August 2016, almost 4 months after its release), and I was excited by the promise of a behind-the scenes look at this start-up hype, which felt like being over-glorified and polished from the outside. I will however, preface my comments on questions the book tackled (don’t expect an objective well-studied analysis of the book, it’s rather a subset of my personal thoughts on it and comments on things I found interesting) with a rather long story of how I felt about this issue before I read the book. This might explain my comments on the book itself, and might be of interest for someone who is curious about how a young developing world native software engineer feels about this whole thing. Yeah nobody probably cares but I’m doing this anyway.

Background

Why I was excited to get a closer look into the startup world’s internal mechanics and true face is a story that goes back to when I first engaged with “social entrepreneurship” volunteer work in Tunisia as an engineering student. That system was to me, a posteriori, like an incubation environment of what people orbiting around it liked to call “leaders”. These guys are supposedly the ones destined to create and run future startups. They are meant to “disrupt” things and “make change happen”. You can therefore see why this all looked analogous to me.

I came in expecting a lot of good honest work, and discovered a couple of years later that the system was built on hype and overselling half-baked projects rather than on real (or realistic) achievements, which do actually “change the world” “glocally”. I was introduced in the most brutal way to the world of saying more than you are doing, glorifying and sublimating basic grunt work, selling more than you’re planning on creating, and blowing small stupid “cool” ideas and promises out of proportions to make them gather “momentum” (= unjustified public trust, unjustified money and unjustified support) then cashing in on the “prizes” and “recognition” which, amazingly, seem to have become an easier-than-expected outcome for this kind of thing. PR had taken the place of producing real value. Slick self-righteous talk had taken the place of real productive work. Very serious people have, to my absolute shock, switched from encouraging and requiring real feats to “believing” in big-mouthed idiots.

I had already become distrustful of big allegedly “technology-backed” claims (especially when the projected outcomes outsize any real possible outcome: oh, so you’re going to “change the world” with your calendar app?). But I guess my realization of the real scale of this, and the fact that it affected “grown-up” investment circles, started when I first felt that the redundancy of ukulele music in startup promos was annoying. Usually nobody needs to exercise so much serenading power if they're not trying to screw you. It felt suffocating like a chloroform cloth pressed to my face. And to everybody's face, since people seemed to be falling for this crap. Along with that came the raised eyebrows about claims of "changing the way you X", X being anything from eating to performing blood tests, often ending in disappointments and massive waste of money. Instead of being limited to companies making development tools, frameworks and libraries, .io domain names were now being purchased by “tech” startups who make (or rather promise) physical products. We’ve all felt it creeping in slowly: words like “awesome”, “cutting-edge”, “empower”, “change the way we X”, “disrupt X”, “X as-a-service” (where X is in the set of human activities), etc. were now being thrown left and right. I realized it became a hype when that jargon went over the boundary of the “entrepreneurs” circle of divine inspiration and started being a silver bullet for all types of organizations and people to sound cool or make nasty changes appear cool. Bottom line? It's now scarily easy to make preposterously huge yet unjustified claims and get away with it. Hell, you'll even get money for it, A LOT. Hell, it'll even make you rich.

And don’t get me wrong, I’m not indiscriminately bashing the start-up culture and all of its outcomes. I used to think and do still think that when it is “real” (as in: not a massive brainlessness-promoting “positivity” dance), start-up culture can actually be cool. Young people given the opportunity to pursue their ambitions like never before? I’m in. Financing and support for individual initiative? Checkity check. Moonshots given the opportunity to be explored? Give me a piece of that! Informal and individuality-friendly workplace organization? Where do I sign! But when you look at the amount of “fakeness” in tech startups it’s easy to realize that most of this “culture” or phenomenon turned into a money-generating hype machine, which does not yield a fraction of what it promises, but that’s ok because hey: it’s a start-up, what did you expect?

I knew something was wrong, and was amazed why people were still falling for anything that sounded start-up-ish without question. I was actually labeled as a “negative person” a couple of times when I expressed skepticism towards big claims in casual discussions with fellow engineering students. As I came to learn, everyone was now “drinking the cool-aid” of this new twisted construct of values, hype, lifestyle and bullshit. Anyone questioning that, or the fact that it’s a “world-changing phenomenon”, or “the way of the future” is undoubtedly an old grumpy soul opposed to change. “The Cheerleading and delusions of grandeur” as Dan Lyons puts it in Disrupted (p55) seem to be the main norms of social interaction in the startup world.

It would have been fine if it was just dumb ideas getting funded. But oooooh no, it’s a lot more than that. It’s the new lifestyle, it’s drinking protein shakes, doing Yoga and making lists, thinking (and saying) it makes you a superior being. It’s blurting wisdom and philosophy pulled out of your ass without any experience or knowledge to back it. You see creating/working at a startup is no longer just a professional project, it’s the new “thing”, it’s stylish, it’s heroic, it’s “à la mode”, even people who do not do any actual entrepreneurship are now leaders and lifestyle coaches. It’s a whole new world of bullshit becoming the undisputed norm every day. I could rant on and on but I'll refer you to this excellent article which explores this in depth, "Fuck your startup world". It actually got a massive response too, showing that more people feel this way than you would expect.

But deep down I had my own selfish reasons for the resentment I felt towards this culture and its promoters. I wanted to be an engineer ever since I first started reading The Hamlyn Junior Science Encyclopedia as a 6-year-old kid, and realized how fascinating and empowering science and engineering can be. Behind my disappointment, there is a little ambitious boy who wanted to be a Henry Ford, a Thomas Edison, a Howard Hughes or one of the Wright Brothers. I aspired to be an Engineer with a capital E, to make beautifully world-changing technology and machines, not to make a shit mobile app, come up with a name “YourNameHere”, remove a couple of vowels from it and call it “YrNmHr.io”. I was angry to see minor shit take the center of the stage under a waterfall of praise symptomatic of the twisted “everybody is a winner/overpraised kid syndrome”. I also felt sad that the future where advances in robotics and life sciences change the face of the earth, the human condition and phenomena such as modern slavery and oppression, is getting delayed to give space and time for kids (remember, I’m still a “kid” too to some extent) to come up with an “app that makes shopping easier”, or an “app that makes scratching your back more fun”. Of course, people are free to do what they want. But as a species, I think we are slowing down in terms of technological progress. To put it in terms that would reflect my subjective bitterness more accurately: as a species, we’re stretched on a plastic chaise lounge in our backyard drinking a cold lemonade and reflecting on how cool it would be to have a robotic arm dispense lemonade so that we don’t have to move our arm so much and how awesome it would be if we could have AC outdoors and how awesomesauce it would be if that robotic arm dispensing lemonade could also take selfies and write random wise quotes about the importance of relaxation on all the social networks there is, ALL of them. Oh and we then tell ourselves how beautiful and world-changing that stupid shit would be. Then we pull a check, write down all our money and hand it to a conveniently standing by college graduate who runs off to build all that stuff, or not. All of this while our car is rusting, our house is on fire, and our kids are getting suffocated by the smog from the nearby chemical factory. You see the picture.

The book

I finally opened the book early December 2016. I can’t hide that I was mainly looking for a confirmation of these thoughts I’ve been having, and maybe even a little push to hold me back from drinking the cool-aid, which was starting to look like a very tempting choice that comes with a lot of perks.

And I got even more than I asked for.

The book as a whole tells the very interesting story of how Dan Lyons, a journalist in his fifties finds himself out of a job one day and ventures into the startup world by joining Hubspot. It tells this story while describing the environment and dynamics of Hubspot and startup culture as a whole, with the uniquely cynical style of a sane person landing in the middle of a collective craze and trying to find a way through it. I won’t go into the detail, buy the book (Amazon) and read it. I promise: it’s a good read.

Several aspects of startup culture were covered in the book. I believe that there are two aspects to it: one specific to the Hubspot experience and how it worked for the author, and the other is more of a general reflection on the startup world and culture. These are not completely separate since the author often uses the first aspect to derive generalized reflections covering the second aspect, illustrating with other examples from the industry. As I have no particular interest in Hubspot, I was more focused on the second aspect. Dan Lyons covered things I mentioned in the first part of this article and went way beyond that thanks to his constant reflection upon his experiences as they happened. I have chosen to comment on three aspects which I found particularly interesting: ageism in the tech industry, the startup “bubble” economic model, and the “drinking the cool-aid” hypnosis system some startups (and big companies) use to push their employees to perform without real rewards for extra effort.

Ageism in the tech industry

Ageism or age discrimination is a fairly perceptible phenomenon across the professional world. But in the specific case of startups and the startup culture, “youth-driven” seems to be the positive label that sometimes hides discrimination against older candidates or colleagues. It is actually “weird” for someone who is above 40 (or, you know, with a family) to be in that ecosystem. The common belief is that startup work is so intense that only young hyperactive people who are not bound by family or health obligations can do it. If you’re going to work for a startup, you kinda know you’re getting into a 60+ work hours a week type deal. But it’s more than that: it’s that “these old people” and “their old system” are the antithesis of startup culture, therefore they should be left out. They don’t say “awesome” enough. They speak proper English, write memos and document things, ew. They couldn’t possibly take part in our “awesome” rituals such as daily plank meetings or submit to our “awesome” values. They still think this is a job, ew. This IS OUR LIFE, and if they won’t make it their life too, they’re not in.

That kind of shit.

I have already spoken against ageism against young employees (which is more of a large corporation practice) here, but Dan’s account of how he lived through being the second oldest person in a tech startup showed me a fate I wouldn’t like for myself (or anyone) in 20 years’ time. Ageism is stupid, no question about it: it’s just the sneakiness with which it is exerted against one age group or the other that is dangerous. It’s those seemingly neutral excuses for firing employees who are “no longer meet the business goals” or “don’t embody the company’s values” to artificially skew the average age of a company’ employees in the “right” direction. It’s that systematic refusal of every single job application you send because it’s not “selling” to be as old as you are. And it happens, way more than we imagine.

The startup bubble

I was mostly aware and appalled by the amount of fakeness weighing on startup world/culture, but Disrupted also shed light on a very important aspect I was not really aware of before: the financial crookery in the startup economics. By highlighting how in the MVP-grow-IPO-sell cycle, when growth and stock value jump in the IPO become the goals of VC-backed entrepreneurship instead of making and selling the product (i.e. creating money from nothing, from "how much people believe this will work" rather than "the real/realistic value of a company and its products"), the book helped me understand that "the fakeness" I was perceiving is not just "white lies", it's actually harmful stuff that often shatters investments and shifts spending from "the most promising product/service" to "the most promising hype machine". Sure, that'll make a handful of people wealthy, but in the grand scheme of things, A LOT of money will be destroyed. Micro-bubbles will burst, and who knows? Maybe one day it'll be 2001 or 2008 all over again if we're not careful enough.

Choking on the cool-aid

Yeah. Sure. Startups are not made to be a 9 to 5 job that you do for a hopefully big paycheck and perks package. They’re by definition entities that depend on how much commitment, ownership and initiative their employees show.

It makes sense for them to provide remuneration in the form of equity: the more the employees own of the company, the more its success becomes a personal success for them.

It makes sense for startups which are racing against time and limited money to achieve big goals to push their employees to be far more productive than the average employee.

But does it make sense to formalize this in a set of cult-ish practices, lingo and propaganda and shove it down the throats of employees? Does it make sense to strive to transform a startup’s workforce into an army of minions with identical clothes, speak, habits and thinking? Does it make sense to choke people on cool-aid and kick out whoever doesn’t drink it for “lack of adherence with the company’s values”? What are company values anyway? Are companies suddenly entities which must dictate the observance of a set of sometimes ridiculous pseudo-wisdoms by which every employee must live, just to satisfy some higher-up’s need to “inspire” people? Isn’t the respect of freedom and individuality the ground stone of startup culture itself? Then why is following the horde and creating a uniform unicolor work environment now an imperative? Why the hell would something as frustratingly wrong as “1+1=3” become an element of the jargon that people need to use? Oh and, do Teddy bears really need to attend meetings? Don’t they have some children to amuse?

It actually goes beyond that: in terms of work environment, some startups are not doing well, up to a point where unethical practices have become a huge problem in silicon valley. Dan Lyons actually described one example of his boss pushing him around with repetitive unjustified negative feedback which turned out to be intentional, and probably more of a source of personal satisfaction.

What now?

Well, nothing much. We know something is wrong, we know many pain points, it’s time for change, but I don’t have the brains or the time to offer solutions. Stopping the stupid mass hallucination would be a great start, just stepping back to think and see how stupid and risky this collective dance has become would be an achievement in itself. In that regard, Disrupted is an excellent wake-up call to start reflecting on what’s wrong with the startup world and the startup culture.

About the book, the reception was massive and it ranged from praise to bashing. One interesting fact is that a Hubspot employee allegedly attempted to get his hands on the draft of Disrupted. An investigation ensued, without Dan Lyons being able to get specifics as he explains in an epilogue within the book.

Since this article was mostly in a pro-Disrupted tone, I will provide a couple of links as an attempt to balance things out and give you the opportunity to explore different viewpoints about the book.

First there’s Hubspot’s response to the book, shared on Linkedin.

Second there’s this unsavorily-titled article in Fortune, which does however tackle specific points in the book.

Needless to say, I personally loved the book. It lead me to a better understanding of that vague bad feeling I had towards this collective startup craze.

And what better way to express my gratitude Dan Lyons for this totally inspirational book than to give him the hubspotty praise email he never got? Here you go Dan, I know you've been waiting for this for so long:

Subject: Dan is totally crushing it!!!!!!!!

Sup!!!

I just wanted to say how much Dan the man is awesome! Dan, I really appreciate you and everyone here at not Hubspot does too!!! Cool book brah! Keep kicking ass, much respect xoxoxxoooo

Woooo-hooooooo Dannyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!