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year2000electronics · 2 months

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i turned my back for one second and i have two of them now?

#moth flies #jk my signed copy just came in the mail today

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ciricegh0st · 28 days

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y'all, I found a book I used to treat like my fucking religion as a kid and it might be the most 2009 goth thing my poor eyes have ever witnessed

it's an Italian translation of a boo that supposedly taught you how to become *a vampire* (yeah ive always unfortunately been like this). As a 9 years old kid, finding this in the supermarket in a small town in northern Italy felt like a sign (of what kind, I am glad I do not remember)

It talked about the different folkloristic renditions of the vampire, how to turn, how to feed (now I can understand my mother's dislike for it tbh) but also books and movies about vampires.

But most fascinatingly for kid me, it also talked about goth fashion

and goth music

I had never been exposed to an alt style that I connected so much and I remember how happy I felt at just 9.

And it also had quite a few pictures of girls kissing which to me felt like my world was being blown away so, there's that too

This is just me rambling about this archeological piece of paper but idk it feels endearing to me to see how much I've changed, but how fundamentally still me I am.

#the fact that my physical copy of iwtv came today in the mail AND I've just found this book again #still feeling the signs i guess #goth #vampires #iwtv #goth music #goth fashion #alt

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stemacademics · 5 days

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small update

ok so um I got my number theory paper today, and the TA had cut marks for me because i left the answer at 66^2 and not 4356 (fermat's little theorem) 😔 I even wrote the full proof

my friend told me I should mail the TA about this, I got 14/20 and should be getting 17or18/20 😔

scores aside, number theory is so much fun, so much fun. the only good thing here is that I know the concepts well, and I fully knew the paper (still fucked it up, because I'm so frickin slow while writing and time). and it hurts worse because there's not enough proof that validates my knowledge. which in turn makes me question if i actually do have any.

I am, in general, a person who does well in concepts but screws up the exams (70% of the time) and I'm trying, I'm trying to get myself out of this "exam paniK" that I often spiral into, just minutes before the exam. I hope I change and grow; I hope, I hope.

#im so sorry for this meltdown once again #so sorry #and for the paper - many people got 20 #it was actually a very easy paper and yes 20 was doable #even i could've gotten a 20 had i not screwed up the way i did #and i feel so bad to even say “had i not screwed up...” the excuse sounds horrible to my ears #well what is done is done #i can only try better next time #this course might just end up being the easiest to get an A #let's hope that I don't fuck up this one too #after seeing my paper i just returned it and came back #and my friend was like “ok. why did u not ask them why you've lost so much when the concepts are all right there on your paper?”#and i was like “um so should i ask them?” she went “YES.”#but by the time i went back to the hall the TAs had left so i have to mail mine now #and im very worried that she wouldn't change the current grading #last time i missed an A in math by 1/2 marks and i don't want the same thing to happen this time 😔😔#oh god ONE good thing can help me right now please #ru's trying #JUST 1 good thing #just give me ONE #i was so out of sorts today i slept for ~5 hours during the day and missed my calc class #i deliberately missed it though bc i wasn't feeling up to mark #i regret not going but my brain simply said no we're not there atm so maybe it was for the better #once again im so so SO sorry for the meltdowns lately #it's been bad rains and cloudy days in my head for a while now #i hope for the sun soon

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skunkes · 10 months

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You probably get this asked a lot but do you have any particular things you keep in mind when writing in your journal? I started recently and it's been great but I find that Only recapping my day gets to be a bit tedious (esp when I don't go outside much lol) so I was curious what you do to keep motivated with it ! Ur sticker layouts are always so cutes btw I'm very inspired by them ^_^💖

Yeah! I mainly journal for Memory Keeping as i have a weird obsession with wanting to keep track of anything/everything, so i just think of what future cheye would want to know, instead of just recapping day.

Makes me really sad bc in college all i had energy to write was like "ate x went to class went to mailroom went to class 2 had x for dinner 1 am now goodnight" and its like. What about. The whole rest of it!! What did u do who did you talk to when was it that you saw a raccoon irl for the first time!!! Were you stressing over assignments?? Which and why!!! I have 0 tangible, meaningful, memories of what happened now. Just sterile clinical ones. :(

I do track things consistently like my rating for the day, the time i woke up and the time i go to bed, what i ate, if i cried, along wit other personal stats (i like the numbers!). Sometimes I also dont Do anything in a day so i just focus on other things, like taking the opportunity to write about feelings a little bit, so future cheye Knows the state of mind i was in on a given day, or maybe talk about how I bought something and am excited to wear/use it

Not much happened today so I wrote about and included how my dad described the plot of to, and showed me, some scenes of The Untouchables 1987 today because a song always reminds him of that movie...

yesterday I wrote about how my sister and I are planning on trying some pillsbury cocoa rolls on thursday, since we couldn't today, and that I am Excited.

I don't know, its small things that I feel I'd appreciate in the future even if they seem silly or pointless right now...(and also good for keeping track of personal growth, as Im hoping I at one point get to pinpoint where my complaints about Not Wanting to Drive fade away from the entries. Ykwim?)

ITS KIND OF LIKE THAT ONE POST ON HERE...like "if you see this tag one delight from your day no matter how small". You ""force"" yourself to come up with something to pad the entry with, and I think it's small things like that that will be really telling of your time here, in the future ^_^ time capsule of the old you

like. Did you see something insanely funny? Did your best friend say something weird... Did the internet platforms you browse all rally over a war criminal dying... Is it still rainy and chilly like it was yesterday? Are you excited for your birthday even if its many months away... What series did you start rewatching? Did u get scared by a shadow while walking your dog...idk! Anything, everything

#anonymous #skunk mail #long post #and none of these things have to be super detailed either!#like i have a separate journal for Feelings Theses. feelings in my main one are just like ''man i feel #like ass about everything again. cried a lot.''#i thingk its also like. idk i dont like to bother my friends so i don't have anyone to share stuff wit but myself #so i write it in there ..ykwim...like im feeling happy today i saw something cool i really want ice cream!#<- shit i wouldnt say to a friend or stuff id post to my priv account as the thought came to me that nobody wld care abt either

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oakappleday · 5 months

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Oh my freaking--THEY GOT MY CARD!