#it sucked but i'm glad to be back in business and grateful for the support

[bleaksqueak]

Since I got a good little handful of asks about it today, I wanted to pop in while I'm waiting on this file to send to my pc and say: I think *most* artists absolutely value comments and support more than they let on. It's a little embarrassing to shout it from the rooftops, or at the very least a slight faux pas, but it's true. In truth, I've been extremely down lately, but logging in to see comments, reblogs, likes, tag comments or getting asks posing fun little questions offer a lot of cheer even when the gloom is hanging a bit heavy. It's like, sure, I'm drawing ultimately for myself-- this comic/these characters are more self-indulgent than the most decadent fondue in existence, but I've also always wanted to work on a project like this when working on various other NDA projects for other people in the past. So the comments and engagement are far from a bother or annoyance, they mean the world to read, instead! So, thank you!

[purekesseltrash]

This is my final ask talking about BTD so it has to be perfect, I literally created a google doc so I wouldnt fuck it up before I sent it

Shoji replaying a song over and over while doing a task reminded me of when I listened to “Ophelia” by The Lumineers on repeat while drinking coffee on my kitchen counter and lemme tell ya, I’ve been chasing that high ever since

Yeah knowing you'd have *some* family but not all of them after coming out sucks major ass but its the truth, I'm ever so grateful that the only person who would react negatively that I know would be my maternal Grandmother whos a narcissistic bitch who I haven't spoken to in years so like, i dont give a shit what she thinks but I know that it would be hard on Shoji seeing how family oriented he is in this story and him knowing his relationships with his siblings and parents would be rocky makes my heart break for him

OOOOO BITCHHHHHH HES TEXTING HIMMMMMMM

That went over a lot smoother than I thought it would, I mean i'm incredibly happy that they’re like, getting together, but I honestly expected it to be more drawn out

Awww Tokoyami getting their as fast as he could and Shoji being soft for domestic Tokoyami

Sweet jesus I can relate to Shoji just randomly thanking his friend for being his friend, the amount of times I’ve wanted to just ominously text my friends a “thank you for everything” is too many to count

I LOVE GRITTY, HE REMINDS ME OF MY CAT WHOS A MAINE COON (his names Chewie if you're interested)

I knew Mic would suck at cooking, its just so him

I practically squealed at Shoji changing Tokoyami’s contact name to Fumikage

Okay, little background story, I keep a list in my notes app of headcanons for Tokoyami and literally one of them on there says word for word “Dogs absolutely love him and he loves them right back” so im SO GLAD you made him a dog person, making him a cat person seems like the easy route

LAWYER MOM IS INTRODUCED i honestly didn't picture her as a blonde but now I see it

Tokoyami’s mom being incredibly enthusiastic reminds me a lot of my mom, she always get excited when people have pride flags hanging up and suggested we get a pride flag so that made me appreciate my mama more than I already have been

I swear to god my eyes got as big as saucers hearing the part about cheesecake because I'm from New Hartford and forgot Hartford was a different city.

I can just picture Aizawa SLAMMING the brakes and whipping his head around, hair flying, as he looks at Shoji

“And he let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding” how much more cliche could you get, not gonna lie that made me laugh

All right I have to confess something. I've skipped every transcript of Put Your Sticks Up because I was impatient and wanted to get to the story. Now you know my biggest secret, I always felt bad but would get frustrated cause I wanted to hear ‘bout my boys.

The last precious worm ask! I am finally on my laptop so I can give this the proper attention.

Ngl, when my head isn't working, I will just put on one song and play it over and over and over and over and over until something comes into my head. My ShinOji fic 'Gold Rush' came from that. Still not sure how I managed to make a somewhat decent fic out of a song about gentrification but my mind is a wild and wonderful place.

Yeah, Shouji goes through it with his family. One thing that I can say though is that as Shouji starts to get more and more successful with his art, Tokoyami starts to spitefully send articles and reviews written on his work to his parent's house. He never gets a response but doesn't expect to, he just feels like they should see how amazing their son is, goddamnit. The one day, a letter comes back. Tokoyami opens it, expecting it to be them telling him to knock it off and instead, one of the pictures has been sent back with 'This is beautiful' written in pen, an arrow pointing to one of his vases. Tokoyami then has to show it to Shouji and explain what he did. Shouji cries basically all night. That starts a very, very tenuous back and forth with his mom.

Gonna put the rest of this under a break because it's gonna be long

You should have seen my first outline if you thought this was quick with them figuring it out. Basically, the only reason that Tokoyami broke it off in the first place was because he didn't see that there was a chance of it working. They worked so well otherwise. Amazing chemistry, complimentary senses of humor, Tokoyami didn't want to break it off at all. He just felt like he had to because otherwise they were both going to get more hurt. So when Shouji was like 'okay, but actually I do want to try this', he was all in.

Ojiro is legit Shouji's first real friend. Which is really really sad given that they met when they were eighteen but Shouji never really got a chance to do anything normal.

Maine Coons rule and Chewie is an excellent name for them. I was going to name their cat after Marie Phillipe Poulin, the greatest women's hockey player ever, but I decided that Gritty would be funnier. Mic as a bad cook is deeply satisfying, I picture him being like me, just all 'okay but I just do enough to make something to survive on and uh.... who needs all the details and stuff'.

The name change actually came from my beta. They asked why his contact was still Western Civ Tutor in the beginning of the chapter and I was like 'oooo, great way to show how they have changed'.

And maaaaaaaaaan. I'm sorry but how is someone who is a bird gonna like a cat. Nah. Tokoyami is a dog person. They do go on to get a dog. They were going to get a Shiba Inu or something catlike until Kenta came through with a hound puppy that he'd found in the rain while on his route and just dumps it in Shouji's lap like 'Surprise!'. They name it Lu after Roberto Luongo, famed goalie. The dog is a goddamned menace and Shouji ends up having to take it to classes and learn about dog training so they can all keep their sanity. He ends up loving Lu the most. (I do some part time dog training so I had to throw that in)

Tokoyami dyes his hair. He's actually a mousy blond under the dye like his mama. And yeah, my parents are hella supportive too. I figured it would be healthy for one of them to have accepting parents.

Aizawa was pretty pissed, ngl. For all that he should know better, he got caught up in the same shit that coaches tend to slip into, which is a responsibility because they have someone with potential that they must mold and then when they go on to do amazing things, they can feel a part of it. But then he realizes where he fucked up and how he was so busy seeing Shouji the hockey player that he couldn't see Shouji the person.

Listen, it's my fanfic, so I'm gonna get as cheesy as I damn well please. I'd written a super cheesy ending for the end of 'Black Sun' and was waffling on keeping it until somebody was like 'it's a fic, be as cheesy as you want'. I can has my cheese, as a treat.

WHAT IN THE FUCK WORM. HOW CONFUSED HAVE YOU BEEN THIS ENTIRE TIME?!?!?! this legit made me laugh out loud when I read it. GO BACK AND READ MIC'S SHOW!!! I set up so much stuff to try and prepare the reader to understand the emotional stakes, not to mention the basic facts of hockey! That being said, I get the feeling.

Thank you for this last super mega grande worm ask, sorry that it took me so long, I wanted to be able to give it my full attention. <3

[wordsandshawn]

Because I'm your boyfriend

Requested: Reader is on tour with shawn and is on her period and jet lag is hitting her really hard and she can’t keep up with time or everything around her and starts freaking out and hyperventilating in the hotel room and her hormones are all over the place and Shawn has to literally ground her and hold her down to calm her down

~~~

You’re not a professional traveler, not even close, which is why it can be so difficult for you when you’re traveling with Shawn. You enjoy it, but it really takes a toll on your body being in a different city every night, and you’re honestly not sure how all these people do it for such long periods of time when you have trouble doing it for a couple of weeks at a time.

Your family tends to have drama, and whenever that happens, they pull you right into it with no regard to where you are in the world or how busy you happen to be. That’s how you ended up in whispered conversation over the phone with your family until three in the morning in the hotel lobby.

When Shawn shakes you awake this morning, only a few hours after you fell asleep, getting out of bed is the last thing you want to do, which is why you groan and try pushing him away. It doesn’t work because you just hear a low chuckle as Shawn leans down, kissing your forehead. “Morning baby,” He mumbles in that raspy voice that still makes your heart beat faster even after all this time. Your eyes flutter open to see your boyfriends unfairly attractive face only inches from yours. You can’t help but smile, the sleepiness slowly dissipating.

“Baby, get up,” Shawn says, softly nudging you.

“Nooooo,” You start to whine until you feel that familiar feeling signaling you’ve started, and you launch yourself out of bed before you’re left with a mess you don’t have the energy to clean up today.

Shawn makes a surprised noise as you disappear quickly into the bathroom. He was not expecting it to be that easy to get you out of bed. Honestly, neither were you, but when nature calls... 

Shawn knocks lightly on the bathroom door. You hadn’t closed it all the way behind you. You’re not ashamed of anything in front of Shawn, and it wouldn’t have bothered you if he walked right in, but he doesn’t. He stays on the other side of the door. “Y/n, are you okay?”

“Yeah,” You hesitate. Its your fault for not planning for this. You should have been paying more attention, but theres been so much going on and you haven’t been thinking about your period which is why you have no tampons with you. After silently cursing yourself for not listening to your friend who told you to get the period tracker on your phone, you make a mental note to do that next soon, but that doesn’t change the situation you’re in right now. You know Shawn is still hovering on the other side of the door, probably wondering what’s wrong. So you say. “I need a favor.”

“Anything.” His voice comes through the space.

“Can you go buy me tampons?” You ask, holding your breath. Shawn has never given you a reason to believe he wouldn’t do something like that, but you’ve had past boyfriends who were entirely freaked out by the idea of your period. 

“Oh.” He sounds relieved, but you can’t be sure. He might be freaked out by it all, and you wouldn’t blame him. Shawn has always been understanding, but you’ve never asked him to actually go to the store and get you tampons. 

The extra layer to it that your other boyfriends never had to deal with and still wouldn’t go for you, is that you’re sure for Shawn, going to the store will be an endeavor in itself, seeing as there are probably fans outside, and you immediately feel guilty. You know that people make store runs for Shawn or for the tour all the time, but this is different. Its normally Josiah running to the store when he has a free minute for mustard or something. That is not this. 

“Actually, it’s okay—” You start to say, but he interrupts you.

“No, baby, of course I’ll go. I was just worried at first it was something bad. Can you just text me the brand and type just exactly what I'm looking for so I can get the right one?”

You sigh in relief, “Thank you, Shawn.”

“You’re okay here for now?” He questions, still on the other side of the door.

“Yes.” You call back.

“Okay, I’ll be as quick as I can.” Shawn says before quite literally rushing out the door, and you hear the hotel door slam behind him. 

While he’s gone, you finish getting ready. Shawn returns less than an hour later, with two bags full of stuff from the store.

“Hi love, how are you feeling?” He questions, walking in. 

“I’m good, what did you get?” You sit up, curious because he has two bags in his hands. 

He places the bags at the foot of the bed and starts pulling things out. “I got two boxes of tampons because I didn’t know how much you needed.” This causes you to chuckle, and Shawn only shrugs in response. “And I got you this because Aaliyah said it’s supposed to help with cramps, or something like that.” He shows you a bottle of Midol.

“You talked to Aaliyah?” You question, eyebrows raised at how awkward that conversation must have been, but he doesn’t seem fazed by that. 

“Yeah, I needed to know what else to get, and I knew if I asked you, you’d just say the tampons and that’s it.” He’s not wrong, you wouldn’t have asked him to get all of this extra stuff, but you’re so grateful he did. You’ll have to thank Aaliyah later for giving Shawn spot on advice.

“This is also supposed to help with cramps.” He says, pulling out a heating pad. “And I got tea, and water.” He says, pulling out a box of chamomile tea and two big bottles of water, placing everything on the bed.

You thank him again, taking a tampon and going into the bathroom. When you return, Shawn ask, “Are you up for breakfast?” And of course you agree, not wanting to hold anyone back, knowing that there’s a set plan for the day laid out, and it starts with breakfast, something you’ve probably already pushed back a while, throwing off the rest of the day. The last thing you ever want to do is mess with the schedule, so you’ll do everything you can to not interfere with it any more than you already have. 

-

You knew that you’d be extra emotional today because of your period, but you didn’t expect it to feel like this. You’re overwhelmed and emotional. All day, you’ve felt out of sorts, like it’s taking all of the energy you have just to exist. You’ve tried so hard to keep a smile on your face, to have a good attitude and be supportive of Shawn, but you’ve had cramps and a mild headache all day despite taking the Midol. You haven’t had a chance to use the heating pad, but you’re glad its there, and you’re hoping to take it to the venue and rest in Shawn’s dressing room later, as much as you’ll hate missing the show, you just don’t think you’ll make it if you have to stand and walk around during the show. 

You’re back at the hotel with the whole crew for a little bit. They just finished having a crew meeting, something you sit in on while you’re on tour with Shawn, so you know what’s going on. Everyone is milling around the hotel room, just hanging out for a bit before its time to go to the venue.

Your family has still been texting back and forth. Everyone is mad, and everyone is texting you about their problems with every other member of the family, and you’re caught in the middle You’re trying to be there for them, and be there for Shawn, and hold it together yourself, which is quickly proving to just be too much for you to do. 

You’re sitting off to the side, lost in thought by yourself when Shawn comes to stand in front of you. “Hey, what’s wrong?” He questions softly, being able to read you like a book.

You’re seated in the oversized chair, your knees pulled up to your chest because of the pain shooting through your stomach, and you don’t even know where to start on his question of what’s wrong. You’ve been holding everything in, trying to keep from letting Shawn know what a struggle the day has been because he’s been so busy working. Soon he’ll be getting ready for his show tonight, and you don’t want to worry him.

Even though you don’t want to tell him, he’s staring down at you with the most caring look in his eyes. He’s just asking to know what’s wrong, genuinely concerned for you, and it makes you unravel right there in front of him, in a room full of people. “I’m just feeling really overwhelmed, and it might just be my period, but I don’t know. My stomach hurts, and I have a headache, and my family is fighting, and I'm sorry that I'm not being as supportive as I should be.” The words come tumbling out in one breath. You feel like you’re about to start crying, but the idea of everyone seeing you falling apart freaks you out. You don’t want to cry, but the more you try to hold in your feelings, the more they come right out. You tend hold your breath when you get to this stage of a freak out. Shawn notices immediately, kneeling in front of you so he’s more eye level with you.

He sees everything happen, almost like he’s able to read your mind as you freak out internally. He takes your hand, “Breathe, baby.” He whispers urgently, while still trying to remain calm to avoid freaking you out any more than you already are. “Y/n, breathe.” He reminds you again, and you’re trying, really, you are. He looks around, no doubt looking for a way out, torn between knowing you don’t want to be in this room full of people anymore and worrying that it’d be worse to make you move right now. “Let’s go.” He finally says decidedly, and you’re not in any state to argue right now.

He gently takes your hand and leads you outside into the silent hallway. He lets you back up into the wall beside the door, your back pressing flush against the wall, letting you hold onto the steadiness of the unmoving wall. He stands in front of you, ��Y/n, I need you to breathe, okay?” You hear the tiny hint of panic in his voice, even though he’s trying hard to stay calm.

“I’m okay. It’s okay.” You say, after sucking in a few paranoid breaths. 

He wraps his arms around you, holding you closely in his secure embrace. “I got you. You don’t have to hold it all in, you can tell me that you’re having a shitty day or feeling shitty or even if you don’t know what you’re feeling, you can tell me, and I’ll try to help you figure it out. This is something Shawn has reminded you of several times in the past. He’s promised to be there for you because he knows you tend to hold things in. 

You rest your cheek against his shoulder and he gently rubs your back, still holding you close. Your thoughts may still be racing, but at least Shawn helps you feel contained. 

“I’m just tired, I think?” You finally whisper. Your hormones are causing you to feel so emotional for a reason you can’t quite understand. You’re still overwhelmed, even though you know that you shouldn’t be feeling that way right now, you can’t help it.

"Lets go back to our room, and we can rest.” He suggests, soothingly after a few more seconds. .

“No,” You immediately respond. “We have to leave, for the venue.” You remember then talking about it at the meeting. Everyone should be heading off to the venue soon to finish getting set up. 

“That can wait, we can just rest.” He responds, without missing a beat. 

You’re getting more keyed up. You don’t want to be the reason that he isn’t able to soundcheck or he feels thrown off for the show. “No, we have to go to the venue.” You respond your mind still rushing in several different directions.

He steps back a tiny step so that he can look into your eyes, placing a hand on each of your shoulders, the contact serving to ground you. “Y/n, listen to me.” He says in a voice that means business, then more kindly, he says,  “Breathe.” before continuing, telling you exactly whats about to happen. “We’re going to go back to the hotel. And then I’m going to make you some tea and figure out how to work the heating pad because I'm your boyfriend, and that’s what I do.” Just hearing these words from him makes you feel so much better. You instinctively lean forward, and Shawn wraps his arms around you. “I got you,” He whispers the words that you need to hear. 

Shawn takes your hand and leads you down the hall to your shared room where he unlocks the door and lets you in first. And then he does exactly what he said he was going to. He makes you tea, gets the heating pad to work, and crawls into bed, cuddling you until you really do feel better.