#it super duper sucks and doesn't make it any easier to move on but you're probably better off without them :(

[anon-confesses]

I was fine, with the fact I would never be loved by him.

I was fine, just being a friend. No matter how much it pained me.

I was fine, tending to him every day until I had run out of words to speak.

I was fine when he left, out of selfishness that I did not know how to help him.

I was fine with that.

Until I realised something.

It wasn’t just me he had abandoned.

He had other friends. Who had run out of words, too. Although we cared so much for him, after a while we were just repeating ourselves.

So he left.

I tried to contact him, so did another friend of his, to no luck. He just kept at it, looking for new people to lick his wounds.

I was so mad when I figured it all out, when the pieces all finally clicked together.

Now, I’m just… hollow. Like he took away all my colour, and is now trying to take others, too.

He has a reason, not a good reason, mind you, but he has a reason.

But I feel it’s no excuse to treat your friends like disposable items. To use them for comfort then leave them the second they are leached of their kindness.

Until there is nothing left but a hollow shell.

Until you’re scared to love again.

I was madly in love with him, at one point. I was such a fool.

I’m finding it very hard to move on.

I feel numb. Drained. Robbed.

And yet, and this is even more foolish, if he came back, and apologised, I’d accept him again.

But this flicker of hope is meaningless. I’ve tried countless times.

It is best I move on.

But it’s going to be hard.

I am going to move on.

.