#it was something i envied in my ex's spiritual practice watching him just be completely taken over by other energies who were just

[siirkaian]

Ive been debating how to get the gods into the story for ages, because like........ Its no secret although it would be if this was an actual comic. that Barren and Kindle are Stardust’s grandkids and...... Theyre both figuring out their independent skills, barren’s learning to mindwalk and kindle to fight (but like. not like martial arts fight like Survive fight) and............. it COMPLETELY takes away the stakes to have three of the most fucking powerful beings in the universe be incredibly invested in these two kids bc like. 

Ok. so Stardust travels with them, but has reasons not to fight, because hes seen a lot of shit and is traumatised from fighting, but Moonshine and Midnight??? Midnight is more “watch all simultaneously be one with the world”, but Moonshine could come down whenever the fuck he wants because if Stardust can, so can Moonshine??

BUT..................... I think ive fucking got it?? POSSESSION. but like FULL possession, where Barren’s body is morphed into a new form. The gods cant enter this world without a Demos body. So like. A) This scales the power of the gods with barren and kindle, because Barren can only get so much of them for so long dependent on their skill level at the time b) balances kindle and barrens powers because kindle learns to weave fire bc he awakens his ancestry where barren doesnt, so now both of them can fight to a point, and c) allows them to step in when its a life or death situation which is what i wanted WITHOUT the question of “well why dont they just always step in”, or “well why did it become life or death if they could step in whenever”

And like. Ugh, that means i get to work with possession. I mean its a little less known that barren has a lot of me in them, specifically the very terrified and new to spiritual things and submissive part of me, and yeah. 

Ive just been thinking about how like............. Reality bending this could be, where i realised it was thinking of when Moonshine would step in to save barren... it takes a LOT to get MS pissed off at all let alone to the point of action, but hes the god of the mind, and since Siirkaia is a creation of siirka’s body and mind........ Well basically, a) MS doesnt obey euclidian rules, b) reality bends around him when he lets it, so if hes pissed...... reality is going to devolve around him into blinding colours, faces dancing in the walls, his people the Higher Demos leaking in through reality trying to reach his energy. and also. Hes no fucking stranger to the terrifying bc as i said, god of the mind, hes every twisted face and strange noise and hallucination and all that shit, so he’d absolutely turn barrens body inside out and morph it in strange ways to take over it and reshape it into his own - uh. and hes like siirka and uren in that. he shapeshifts and in general just shifts

so its like. Its a lot of fucked up shit that is absolutely devastating for the matrix of reality itself let alone those trying to kill barren, and........... Oh man, like. It actually makes Moonshine’s enraged appearance actually scary because like...... hes tearing reality apart......... AND THATS BARREN AT THE CENTRE OF IT..... LIKE HES JUST REMOULDED BARREN INTO HIS SHAPESHIFTING, WEIRDLY REALISTIC, REALITY-BENDING FORM......... THATS Barrens fucking body in the grasp of this god who is literally so beyond the Demos hes breaking all the rules weve had so far of fights and mercy (not the god), like. theres actually fucking stakes there bc boy......... how could barren be ready for this, but if theyre not, then like. everythings fucked

ah. you mayve noticed. stardust. So the gods cant enter reality without a body, but stardust is one of the three main protagonists? YEAH SEE. Stardust is almost like a reincarnation of his old self anyway........ And fucking. his daughter - technically asexually created - Inferno entered reality before he did. So  like.......... it already fits. Stardust has already tried to incarnate his energy into a body in the Demos’ world and succeeded??? And hes already basically reincarnated?? Because the god of death Mercy did something to him, I guess sort of killed him? But Mercy, unline his father who is the ACTUAL god of Death, is more a gateway?? ZervaiKa- his dad is death, the void, nothingness, ends, but RahjKa- is more like the reaper-esque death (though he doesnt go around killing people) in that hes Before death. So......... Arguably...... as a gateway............... RahjKa-... involved in the separation of souls and bodies? Is able to i dont know, condense some of Stardust’s energy into a dense Demos-realm-suitable form and incarnate his soul into it?????????

Its interesting bc honestly, I was playing around with the idea of Inferno possessing SD before, never went anywhere with it, but like. OH. YEAH. bc she was supposed to come out to protect the kids, fucking enraged and beyond discussion, tearing SD from his body and taking it over, moulding it into her...... Man, so if the concept is introduced with Barren doing it, to suddenly have stardust be possessed by the ex-queen of fuckin fire (shes known bc shes the only one w power over fire in the world, and she “burned down her whole huge city in a fit of rage”, and shes NOT known as barrens mother, only kindles, bc barren was stolen like a few months after birth) and kindles mother........... fascinating. bc like. kindles relationship w inferno is something i really want to explore, he was taken at idk like age 7 or whatever and remembers the night she burned down the city and is so conflicted between “thats my mother and only family i ever had” and “she literally (seemingly) turned against like several tens of thousands of people and killed them all in fire in a night” and idk. before barrens revealed as the younger sibling........ itd be really interesting. maube. to have inferno take over stardust........... which is now a possibility since i AM bringing possession into it

[logan-after-dark]

Law of Attraction

Or abundance or whatever it is :P Going to talk on that today since it’s been on my mind.

A few weeks ago now, I signed up for this free webinar that was advertised on one of the ASMR YouTube videos I use to fall asleep. The only reason I signed up for the webinar was because it was free, and because I’ve been in a rough spot financially for a long time now and figured I had very little to lose. An hour out of a Wednesday afternoon seemed like an okay trade for something that I could maybe potentially use.

My attitude towards folks who promote or advocate for this idea of an abundant universe and the law of attraction and things like that has been rather negative in the past. Oftentimes they strike me as snake oil salesmen - folks who sell books titled ‘how to get rich quick’ and things like that where the answer is ‘write and publish a book titled “how to get rich quick” and wait for gullible saps to buy it’. My ex had a few of those books on topics like how to become a millionaire through real estate and the like, and his mother was a realtor so, he had no shortage of support there. But, like I said, in the process of pursuing those kinds of get-rich-quick schemes, you’re really just lining someone else’s pockets while obtaining information that may not even be useful to yourself in your specific situation. So I viewed folks pushing this idea of the law of attraction in a similar way - just very sketchy, negative, snake oil peddlers that really just wanted to sell me on more such talks and line their own pockets while mine became increasingly more barren.

Well, let me tell you how the webinar actually went down.

It was on a website called Mindvalley.com, with Harv Eker and Vishen Lakhiani. I decided that, it seemed to have a sort of spiritual/psychological bent to it from the ad seemingly, so that if it had advice that would help me build up my self-esteem or something like that, just overall improve my mental state by a fair margin through this talk, then it would 100% be worth my time. And like I said before, I had very little to lose spending an hour watching a free webinar on abundance.

At the end of it, they did offer some courses - extremely pricey ones that had been ‘discounted’ like 95%, but 5% was still something like three hundred dollars. I had little doubt in my mind that those might help someone else watching, but I was not interested and I wanted to come away from this having invested only my time anyways. And I didn’t, and still don’t, have a spare $300 lying around.

But I felt amazing by the time the webinar wrapped up.

Literally amazing. Spiritually empowered, ready to take on anything, incredibly emboldened and like nothing could stop me, nothing could hold me back anymore. It was an exhilarating feeling that rocked me to my core. I went into it having spent nothing and came out of it feeling like I’d just won the lottery, in spite of my bank account still showing negative digits. Nothing could crush me at that point - the reality of my situation hadn’t left me, but I felt markedly different about it.

I had to get on Discord and tell Mike about it right away. Mike, though he’s my best friend for life and I love him dearly, instantly had some negativity of his own to share re: the american political system and how the rich get richer while the poor get worse all the time - And that’s real life, unfortunately, and I’m not going to dismiss that. But that’s entirely the wrong attitude to have.

Here are some key concepts/key ideas that I took away from the webinar and would like to share with you folks:

1. Your attitude towards money is all wrong.

I’m being totally serious, and I think that this is something that a lot of people struggle with throughout their lives. If you aren’t born with it then you feel like you’re constantly scraping by. Your parents are always talking about debt and how they’re always scraping by too - I know mine were. I could write a book about all the wrong things my parents did just relating to money. Maybe someday I actually will :)

Your relationship with money is a major factor in how much you receive or what you have to do to get it. If you believe you can only make a lot of money by working hard, then that’s what you’ll have to do. If you feel like you’re always drowning in debt, then you will always be drowning in it. If you believe deep down that you’re unworthy of a lot of money, then you’ll never have a lot of money. You subconsciously reject money if you believe deep down that you’re not worth it. This can manifest in refusing a job promotion because you don’t think you’ve earned it, not applying for a job in the first place because you don’t meet the qualifications, or deciding against some action related to business (current or one you haven’t started yet) because it’s a lot of time investment, will keep you away from your family, a lot of money invested, etc. etc. etc. These really are excuses, because there are always affordable business loans, way to maintain work/life balance and family time, or accepting that promotion because it may just be a stepping stone towards something even better. You can’t know where it’ll take you until you try.

We make excuses to refuse money all the time, even if we don’t realize it. What about flipping the script for once and reasoning out with ourselves why we deserve money instead?

2. Jealousy and envy will do nothing but hold you back.

This is a tough one, but it ties into point one that attitudes about money are all wrong. If you hold it inside yourself that people who have a lot of money don’t deserve it, and spite and scorn them for having it, then you will never have it for yourself.

Harv said something that I thought was rather beautiful - “If you see someone with a big beautiful house, bless that house.” How wonderful that that family should have such a nice place to live, no? How wonderful that they have new, safe cars to drive for them and their children. No sarcasm involved. If you think positively about it for them, then this allows you to open yourself up to having those beautiful things as well.

3. Money is not evil.

Think about it. We talk (and Mike talked) about how guys like Jeff Bezos have enough money hoarded away when they could instead just snap their fingers and solve global poverty just like that.

If a construction worker decided one day to brain his coworker with a hammer, would you blame the hammer? No. Money is like the hammer - nothing but a tool to be used by the person wielding it. Money cannot make conscious decisions for itself, is not sentient, and is in fact entirely neutral as to whose hands it comes into.

It is completely possible to be rich and be a good person. One of my favourite random sayings that I carry with me when I’m looking for my next course of action is “Be the example”. Get your well-deserved money and then demonstrate it. Help you, because you probably need it, and then help those in need. You can absolutely be a good person with money because the two are not mutually exclusive, but of course don’t set yourself on fire to keep others’ warm. You can’t pull people up and out of their troubles if you’re still standing on unstable ground. Believe me, I’ve tried XD

4. Unfortunately, you don’t just magically get this money. You still have to do something for it.

In the webinar they talked about finding your life’s purpose and then living your purpose - something I still struggle with in spite of my elevated feelings immediately following said webinar. I am still not quite sure what my purpose is - I have a feeling, and I think it’s a good one (trying to build understanding between people and groups of people for everyone’s health and happiness), but I have other struggles that still block me.

The examples they gave related to business primarily. Harv was trying to start up businesses that didn’t work and were geared towards one thing, and Vishen was just struggling with his existing business. I think the important takeaway from their individual talks about it though is this: Work your passion. Find out what your passion is, get good at it, and then live and work your passion. They say that if you love your work then you’ll never work a day in your life, right? This idea is basically that in practice.

5. There is no such thing as having too much money.

Least of all when it comes to yourself :P

I used to do this thing where I’d play the lottery (yes I still play every week, shut up) and I would think to myself “I only need a million dollars to live comfortably the rest of my life. Anything beyond that is too much.” That was because I couldn’t appreciate the scope of having more than a cool mil. There is a factor of scale that just boggles my mind. A million dollars is already a lot of money, an almost unfathomable amount. The only frame of reference is that my house is probably worth about a quarter-mil right now. I could buy four of my house with one million dollars.

Well, I refuse to impose limits on myself like that anymore.

Bring on the 60 million dollar grand prize! This is my attitude now. There is still a part of me that sort of recoils at the idea of that money, but then I internally try to push that back with a follow-up thought of ‘just think about the number of people I could help with that money’. If Jeff Bezos won’t single-handedly solve poverty world-wide, then maybe I can. Give me that cool 60 mil, I am open to it and down to receive any sort of excess the universe wants to throw at me. I’ll make use of every single cent :D

6. I saw immediate results after embracing this way thinking.

This is absolutely true, and I have witnesses who can attest to that :)

After watching this seminar, within a few days of doing so, I had a room listed for rent online on a local classifieds website. My inbox exploded. I can’t even fathom how many responses I got, but it was easily upwards of fifty different people replying to my ad. Not only did I get the room rented, I got a second room I didn’t even list rented as well.

I also received some amazing and generous donations to my main blog’s Kofi from some amazingly generous friends of mine from here on Tumblr. I didn’t even ask, they just showed up and I was so thankful I cried.

A good long-time friend of mine was also generous enough to offer me a loan of $1000 USD in order to cover my bills and some other upcoming expenses. Initially I refused the loan, but after taking a second look at my finances, I decided to accept it and hope to pay it back in full by Christmas.

Now, I’m not sure how I feel about the idea of an abundant universe - I went into this as a skeptic and I came out still a bit skeptical - but there are definitely attitudes within me that can change so I can provide myself with more opportunities to find abundance in my own life. I went into this thing looking to boost up my esteem and got that in spades.

It all exemplifies something I already believed going into this, to be entirely fair; What you believe becomes reality. I have a few beliefs about my character that have helped to shape me as a spiritual person that initially may not have been true. I am confident, strong, and powerful. All of those things are absolutely true about me today. Put another way, you could say that manifesting abundance is very similar to the idea ‘fake it ‘til you make it’ XD

If I can find out whether they’re still running the webinar (I feel like it was definitely pre-recorded, but I doubt there’s a video just laying around), I’ll share it with you folks on here <3

Thanks for coming to my TED talk XD