#it’s skincrawlingly wrong for her to (even in the smallest ways) betray her best love - tennis and its rules - for Art

[laniidae-passerine]

I don’t think Tashi’s look of disgust when Art kisses her knee is actually about him. It’s at herself. Their dynamic is so entirely shaped by power, by the fact that Art is lesser than her. She’s better at tennis, better at keeping her control, better at getting Patrick to fall into her bed. It’s the uncaring idol and the tortured devotee. Hell, it’s outright stated; she asks “what am I, Jesus?” and he says “yes” like it’s obvious. Even the way they sit in that scene shows how Tashi is a religion to him, kissing and bowed over her lap like in prayer. Which is why, to a woman who buys into that dynamic, who also thinks of herself as God to Art’s worshipper, it’s so disgusting that she truly does love him. Tashi adores him. Not even close to as much as she adores tennis, but she does. Right after that scene she goes and asks Patrick to throw the match - because if Art loses, she leaves him. And she doesn’t want to have to leave him. It goes against what she knows. God is not supposed to make sacrifices for mere mortals. Achilles is not meant to swoon at the soft weakness of his heel. But here she is, seeing the chip in her armour and thinking it lovely anyway. Hence the look.