#it’s realising she loves him. it’s gross to her in the literal sense

[laniidae-passerine]

I don’t think Tashi’s look of disgust when Art kisses her knee is actually about him. It’s at herself. Their dynamic is so entirely shaped by power, by the fact that Art is lesser than her. She’s better at tennis, better at keeping her control, better at getting Patrick to fall into her bed. It’s the uncaring idol and the tortured devotee. Hell, it’s outright stated; she asks “what am I, Jesus?” and he says “yes” like it’s obvious. Even the way they sit in that scene shows how Tashi is a religion to him, kissing and bowed over her lap like in prayer. Which is why, to a woman who buys into that dynamic, who also thinks of herself as God to Art’s worshipper, it’s so disgusting that she truly does love him. Tashi adores him. Not even close to as much as she adores tennis, but she does. Right after that scene she goes and asks Patrick to throw the match - because if Art loses, she leaves him. And she doesn’t want to have to leave him. It goes against what she knows. God is not supposed to make sacrifices for mere mortals. Achilles is not meant to swoon at the soft weakness of his heel. But here she is, seeing the chip in her armour and thinking it lovely anyway. Hence the look.

[mdhwrites]

Recently, I've been poring over the 'TOH critical' tags and, as someone who wanted to properly watch the show, seeing just how many flaws the writing and characters have kinda turned me off from even starting for a bit. Before I found these tags, I would have assumed Owl House was some kind of flawless untouchable masterpiece. Now, I can see that it is immensely flawed. Not bad, but flawed. It has great ideas that it just spaffs up the walls. In some cases that I've seen, it goes against its own message, which brings me to the point of this.

The show seems to have a message of 'be a weirdo! Be who you want to be and don't let anyone tell you to be something you're not'. This 'be yourself' message is fine in a vacuum, but then there's a character who's treatment in the show goes against this. Hooty! From the moment he's introduced, Hooty is presented as a weird creature. Even other people in the Demon Realm find him unnatural. He's kinda in his own world, and he says and does things that are weird. This would work well for the message, but the problem arises from other characters' treatment of him.

Everyone fucking HATES Hooty! They loathe him! They call him names, they hit him, they put him down constantly, the works! Everyone holds him in open contempt! I wouldn't really have an issue with this at first, but Luz also takes part in some of these actions. It would be one thing for negative/antagonistic characters to be doing this, but the self-proclaimed 'weirdo' main characters? She seems annoyed by Hooty's very existence. Don't get me wrong, he IS annoying, but he's also just being himself. He's a proud weirdo and doesn't let anyone stop him from being who he wants.

Why doesn't Luz love him?

He is exactly the type of person(?) who she should feel connected with. And the fact she joins in on some of the bullying is real shitty. Keep in mind Luz was ridiculed and ostracised for being weird, so her then turning around and being all dismissive and annoyed by someone who is, for all intents and purposes, just like her is shitty.

Personally, I would have had it that Luz really likes Hooty. She admires how he's so unapologetic in his weirdness. You could even still have Eda hitting him and calling him names, which Luz calls out. She knows what it's like to be put down for just being yourself, and she's not gonna stand to see someone else get the same treatment.

Or, another idea, Luz starts out sharing Eda's view on Hooty and being annoyed by him. One time, he does something or shows Luz something he's proud of. She calls him or it or both stupid, and Hooty just....cries. I don't mean overblown waterfalls-out-the-eyes crying, I mean he turns his head down and looks visibly upset.

Luz sees that her words have genuinely hurt Hooty. This could be her realising that Hooty isn't just some weird talking punching bag to hurl abuse at. For his weird actions and appearance, he's a person too. Her being mean to him just for being himself, she realises, makes her no better than her bullies.

Then, to make this even more shitty, the characters DO start being nicer to him later on, but only after he's proven himself useful. So that's a good message, isn't it? 'Love is conditional!' It really makes the 'found family' aspect of the Owl House residents feel all the more forced.

Tl;Dr It's okay to be a weirdo, unless you're Hooty!

(But that's just me! I hope all of this made sense and you can decipher what I'm trying to say😊)

So the short answer to this is that Hooty is essentially character/thematic assassination on... Everyone? Because the show wants to say "Be who you are! Have freedom! Express yourself!" Hooty however is constantly mocked, belittled and literally hurt by others with at best an apology. People treat his portable form as gross despite that letting him experience more of life and the one time people begrudgingly acknowledge he is truly good, they then force him to promise to not repeat the helpful behavior. He is not allowed freedom, expression or to be himself without ridicule, EVEN BY LUZ.

This... However has a bigger problem. Hooty is a bit character after all. If you want to claim he doesn't matter because he's just a joke... There's okay precedent for it. The problem is that then you have to ask what he's mocking. After all, gag characters are all about mocking a certain archtype or the like. King's whole point is to mock children who think themselves as self important and point out how deluded and funny that is, or how funny a deluded sense of self grandeur in general is, at least in the first season. As such... What is Hooty?

Hooty is Sheldon. Not literally but spiritually and this is gonna get kind of rough but here me out. For those who don't get the reference, Sheldon is the main autistic representation in The Big Bang Theory. He is also the most antagonistic force within the friend group. Not because he's evil or anything but because he his own certain ways of doing things and ways he looks at things and as such actually has a lot of episodes about expanding his perception of the world and of others learning to understand who he is and why he is the way he is. The show is actually shockingly respectful in this way, at least most of what I have seen of it, and I can portray this with the best joke I can recall from the series. It also will help me later in why The Big Bang Theory is better than TOH at one certain element people REALLY want to say TOH is great about.

The setup is that the other three main dudes are at a white board, discussing plans to go so see a movie. Every plan they devise runs into a road block because of allergies, time, etc. like that, not even only just because of Sheldon's quirks. However, then the lead, the Ross of the group, stops and goes, "I see it." The others squint and look closer before he adds, "It's the only way." The other two agree... And then they all just leave without Sheldon coming with. Sheldon pauses, looks at the board and goes, "They're correct. It was the only way."

I LOVE this joke... Because it's not mean AT ALL. One might think if they're overly sensitive that it is. I mean, how could they leave their friend behind!? But Sheldon is very honest and up front about his quirks and habits. These guys know him well enough that they know better than to force him out of his comfort zone. That he doesn't function that way. Sheldon KNOWS THIS TOO. As such, when presented with the options of telling Sheldon they can't go because they can't go without him or still having a good night and not making their friend feel bad for being why they couldn't go out, they choose to go out and Sheldon agrees that it was the correct option. They respected him while still living their lives.

And this is because The Big Bang Theory's pitch is not to be offensive to nerds like many online people like to make it out to be (I fucking hate people who call it 'Nerd Black Face') but to just make fun of us like any sitcom would. Sitcoms are parodies of real life. They always exaggerated characters we know are somewhat true. We know a Kramer, we know a Ross, we know a Barney, we know a Lorraine. Are they exactly like this? No, it's cranked up so that it's a comedy, that's the fucking point. But this comedic framing also allows it to be honest about ALL sides of nerd dom.

Sheldon is BY FAR made out to be the most successful, intelligent and wealthiest of ALL the guys. Also, all the guys are doing well in their fields and monetarily. Do they have widespread fame and acclaim? Not really but they're not discredited or anything, they just have interdepartmental bickering. That's accurate from literally every scientist I have seen talk about the subject. It's genuine about the good and the bad of the nerd experience while being entertaining.

So what the fuck does any of this have to do with The Owl House? And especially Hooty? It's actually quite simple. While TOH champions having a nerd protagonist, it presents the 'gentrified nerd'. The convenient nerd. They know about fanfiction but won't force you to actually hear about it. They have interests but not hyperfixations. They don't ever get lost down a rabbit hole because they're passionate about something or just want to tell you a neat fact.

Do you know who does though? Hooty. Hooty just wants someone who is willing to listen about his day. He has some weird quirks to how he behaves and he likes some strange things like bugs. He will talk to you for hours on a subject, randomly and just because he can and might forget that you might have other things to do. To me, those are very, VERY accurate parts of nerd life... And we're supposed to fucking HATE Hooty for these things. Remember the only person, in the ENTIRE SERIES to actually befriend Hooty instead of treating him at best as a convenience is Liltih... At the start of her becoming a joke. The only person who shows him real, genuine compassion... Also becomes 'The Cool Aunt' who hyper fixates on niche architecture and has her trauma of working the EC mocked as just being really bad at her job.

It is, genuinely, kind of gross to me. I've actually talked about this before that the show is so hyperfocused on a very specific, very small set of people for who it approves of, which is essentially whoever fits into Luz correctly, that anyone who felt excluded by the show is extremely valid. And yes, Luz has a montage at the start of silly, over the top and extreme behavior... That doesn't continue. At all. The one time she subjects someone to an Azura rant is to torture Eda enough to go to the Convention and that's only because they were already on the subject because King was interested. She quotes Azura but quickly and doesn't lose the thread. She might say a cute word like 'Snorses' but not even enough to make a break in the conversation.

She is convenient. Gus is only interested in human stuff when it's convenient. Willow will put aside her interest in plants when it's inconvenient. Amity just stops giving a shit about being an intellectual AT ALL post her getting a crush. Hunter wears a wolf t-shirt and gets into Cosmic Frontier enough to cosplay it for Halloween... But only Halloween. These are people who are extremely socially acceptable in every way.

Which... explains why nerds love them actually. See, I think Big Bang Theory does deserve criticism, it is by no means perfect and I would be VERY interested in hearing what the Jewish community thinks of Howard who is easily the most problematic character in the show but not all of the criticism is genuine. I think a lot of it comes down to the fact that we're used to a side, gag character representing the kind worst parts of us... But we're not used to being the focus. We can laugh at all the broke bitches who show up in Sitcoms or the jock failures who are meatheads, etc. like that... But laugh at ourselves? Why would we do that? Why would we allow that? We're better than what this show depicts, even if we're not.

It is inconvenient to the narrative we wish to tell ourselves that we are still the outcasts. That are we not part of the dominant culture and so it is unfair to mock our interests and lifestyle. But like... Marvel movies have been the biggest blockbusters for well over a decade and no one bats a fucking at that. D&D is quickly becoming a household name due to its ever expanding influence. We are not the outcasts anymore. Being into a weird cartoon is not some shocking thing like it was 12 years ago when Bronies first made people aware that this subculture of nerds existed. Times are changing but we still wish to see ourselves as only the victims, even as more and more our spaces show that they are just as evil, corrupt, manipulative and cruel as any athletic superstar or pretty boy actor's club.

A lot of these nerds want to believe they are Luz. Never wrong, never giving anyone a reason to dislike them, and always just passionate about the things they like, never annoying. And you know who those people would mock? Who those people HAVE mocked?

Hooty. Because he's more real. He's the demon they wish they didn't have to face in the mirror. See you next tale.

======+++++======

I really do want to re-emphasize this: FUCK HOWARD. Big Bang is NOT good for the jewish community and I don't think if I watched it nowadays I would be able to tolerate his depiction AT ALL. Also, Raj is also probably all sorts of rough too. I'm ONLY defending the nerd portrayal part of Big Bang.

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[blackgumball]

okay weird pull but you know how people say that taylor swift is so popular because her work is so bland. she’s uninterested in making any sort of statement or breaking any sort of mould, so her work is so palatable and widely relatable that it becomes so popular among so many people? (real quick psa im a tswift hater so i dont listen to her music, this is a recycled opinion from a more educated hater than me)

i am beginning to feel a similar way about bridgerton. its premise relies on the idea of a diverse regency england, but it becomes clearer and clearer to me every day that the show is meant for white people. all the bridgertons are white, so every love story will either be swirl or just a white relationship (shoutout to polin ig). not saying that poc dont enjoy the show (we obviously do) but there’s this vocal white audience that keeps harassing actors of colour whenever a decision is made that they dont like. or that strays from the books (which is soooo insane literally the moment they cast rege jean page your dumb cracker asses shouldve realised that the show wasnt gonna care about being book accurate ESPECIALLY since julia quinn basically said out loud that every character in her books would be racist.)

and the show Clearly isn’t interested in pushing any boundaries. look at fucking cressida cowper. given, i have no idea whether her character is going to return to the show, but the way they handled her was so muddled and fucked up that i wondered why they even bothered? they bring her in, humanise her, and then cart her off with this terrible fate. why? if anything, it made eloise and colin far less likeable (eloise, because it seemed like she didnt care about the fate of the only person who treated her with respect after she was “ruined”, and colin, because it made him seem shortsighted, naïve, self centred, and pitifully stupid). i complain because i think eloise is right. the women in this period were stifled. they were not able to study as extensively as their brothers, not able to travel by themselves, kept from sex education into their adulthood, and married off to random men (sometimes against their will, as it was for danbury, charlotte, almost cressida, and arguably daphne). you set such a sexual show in a deeply unsexy time. there’s romance in cressida escaping, being cunning and able to run. it also would’ve made the show more DRAMATIC. it straight up doesnt make sense for cressida to learn whistledown’s identity and not go immediately to the queen. why not have her escape, and let the bridgertons deal with the consequences? i don’t know. they seemed to take the stupid way out.

and then there’s the lower classes, who we rarely see outside of the women bridgerton men fuck with no/low commitment, paperboys, and printers. i’ve said before how i think it’s hideous that the lives of these women aren’t explored outside of their role as sex objects. season one at least explored the tension between anthony and sienna, who he loved but couldn’t commit to (im very glad she got out of there. im glad she respected herself enough to cut ties w him). also in season one, we see how the servants of the bridgerton house played a role in saving daphne from marrying that gross dude, but it feels like that role has vanished from subsequent seasons. maybe they know that seeing how none of the lords and ladies and other rich pricks of mayfair can’t fend for themselves is a turn off for the modern person (remember when anthony and daphne couldn’t use a stove in s1? i got the ick bad). but by ignoring this massive demographic, the show proves its disinterest in exploring the pitfalls and prejudices of the society it is set in.

its a show where women who want to escape their circumstances are villainised for their attempts and where the lives of the poor are either ignored or used to threaten the privileged. you occasionally have a sienna or a theo, but through knowing them, we are never left with the sense that society should change. they may try that next season. i know benedict is supposed to fall in love with A Poor.

i want the show to be good. i want the show to be interesting. i want all the fans who think that it can’t be good unless it’s explicitly relatable to straight white women to get over themselves (or at least go back to tswift and tsitp). i want to watch the show and not feel as though all the female characters are trapped. i want to LIKE ELOISE. some things i dislike about the show are impossible to change, but i guess i just have to hope it can be better. actually start pushing against the constraints of the genre, why not? you’re already one of the most popular shows on TV, you can risk making good television.

[bella-rose29]

Nikolai Lantsov x f!reader: Surprises

This is my first fic so please be nice :) It was also just a random idea I had that I thought fit perfectly for Nikolai and I had to write it! Thoughts (both positive and critical) are welcomed, and give it some love if you enjoyed!

There’s a brief mention of death but it’s like less than one sentence I think? Otherwise this is just pure fluff and Nikolai being in love.  

Word count: 1,920 (I didn’t think it would be this much)

It was sunrise on the Volkvolny. 

Nikolai couldn’t stay in bed another minute, instead getting up and going up on deck. He thought he’d only find the skeleton crew who worked the early morning shift and whoever was asleep up there, but blinked in surprise when he saw a figure leaning against the railing, face tilted toward the rising sun. He should have expected it, really; she always surprised him and looked positively elated whenever the sun was out, so it made sense she was here to see it wake up. He walked over, trying not to disturb anyone as he went, and came to a stop next to her, bracing his forearms on the railing. 

Saints, he thought. 

Y/N looked practically ethereal in the early morning light, the sun’s rays casting a golden glow that caught in her hair and lit up her skin. Her eyes were closed against the brightness of it all, but she wasn’t squinting. She looked so at peace, so at home. 

“Didn’t anyone ever teach you that it’s rude to stare?”

She surprised him again. 

He didn’t realise she even knew he was there, and he thought he’d been so quiet coming over. 

She was looking at him now, almost expectant, and he realised she was waiting for a response, something witty and charming like he always was, except apparently around her he couldn’t think of anything and was a mess. He stood there, mouth opening and closing while he tried to come up with a response that would make her laugh, because Saints, her laugh was everything, yet nothing came out but:

“Yeah.” 

He winced, then internally berated himself for his stupid response to a question he should definitely have had a witty comeback to, so why didn’t he have one on the tip of his tongue just then? Why was he reduced to having practically zero verbal skills when he was around her? And why-

His mental monologue broke off when he heard a noise from his right, and he realised that she had snorted. At him.  

“Saints, Sturmhond, I was joking! You don’t need to beat yourself up over it!”

A muttered “Sorry,” was all he could come up with, and in an attempt to spare what was left of his dignity in that moment he turned to the sun. 

He saw her head move back around to face the sun out of the corner of his eye and said “I didn’t think you’d be up this early.” She hummed, waiting a few moments before answering. 

“I’ve never been able to sleep during the daylight unless I’m literally on the verge of passing out, so I guess my body clock is just used to being up at this time. Besides, there’s something so calming about it, watching a new day start and waking up with the sun. It’s like- nope, actually, I changed my mind. Forget I said the last bit, it’s too cheesy and gross.” She wrinkled her nose and shook her head, as if trying to get whatever she was about to say out of her thoughts. 

“And what if I like cheesy and gross?” They looked at each other for a moment,  and then she seemed to give in, a faint smile playing across her lips. 

“Ugh... fine. Just... prepare yourself for the cheesiness,” Y/N pointed a warning finger at him, an amused look crossing her features. 

“Consider me prepared.”

“It’s like... you can forget about everything that’s wrong in the world because nothing matters but the view in front of you, and you don’t have to worry about belonging in a society that’s built on how much social status and money you have when you’re born with nothing. It’s just you and the sunrise, and that’s it.” She paused for a few seconds, and then said “See? So cheesy and gross.”

He knew she was talking about herself and her upbringing on a small farm in rural Ravka, where she had run away to find something better after her parents passed away. He didn’t know if she had any other family but, he supposed, the crew of the Volkvolny was her family now, and she hadn’t run away from them yet, so that was a good thing. He could sympathise with her desire for a different childhood, having spent most of his own sneaking out of lessons and lectures from various boring old tutors to tinker in the workshops or practice sparring with Dominik. Being the second son meant he didn’t have as much of a duty to sit still and learn how to be a proper little king, although he still attended some of those lessons to find ways of gaining support from people at court, since his birth was brought into question a lot. While there were definitely things about his old life that he missed (the palace library, the workshops and Dominik and his family were the top three), running away and becoming a privateer was one of the best decisions he ever made, and he loved every minute of being on the True Sea. 

“You’re right, that was definitely cheesy and gross. But I did like it.” Y/N smiled again, and he smiled back, even if it was only because of how pretty she looked when she did so. “I love being out here on the sea for exactly that reason,” he continued. “I don’t have to be anyone but myself and I don’t need to even think about my upbringing.” 

“I suppose you’d have liked my childhood for your own. Living on a farm, barely anyone nearby, no snobby nobility coming over for tea,” she said. He nodded in agreement. She had guessed that he had a noble background when the two of them had been doing some reconnaissance work a while back, but she didn’t know the full extent of it. 

“Living on a farm would be nice. I did have a friend who lived on a farm nearby; I remember I snuck out a lot to spend time with him and his family.” Nikolai smiled faintly as he recalled the nights spent having family dinners with Dominik, the atmosphere lively and the conversation far better than those at the Grand Palace. “You would have hated my childhood though, there were always far too many snobby nobles coming over for tea.”

Another laugh, then, still smiling, “I love it when you quote me. Makes me feel important.” Nikolai smiled as well, knowing full well she’d stolen that line from him, but not minding at all because it was her. 

“I would have hated it, true, but I think I’d like to experience it, even just for a little while. You know, just to know what it’s like to dress up all fancy and eat nice food. To have an upbringing where the only thing I had to worry about was what dress I was going to wear or whether my jewellery matched instead of if there were enough crops in the field to sell or enough money to last another day. And your childhood can’t have been that bad, can it? I mean, it’s not like you’re next in line for the Ravkan throne or something!”

He hesitated for a split second, considering his options. He turned to look at the sky in front of him, still welcoming the sun, and the gentle waves that reflected the light, and decided that he didn’t want to be anywhere else than here with her. And if he was going to do that, then he didn’t want any secrets between them. 

Still looking out to sea he said “Technically if something happened to Vasily then I suppose I would be next in line.”

Silence. A moment passed, and then another, and the weight of it became so crushing he turned his head to see if she’d died or her mouth had magically been sewn shut, only to be met with her shocked expression. 

Ha, he thought. He’d surprised her this time. 

“You mean... you’re Nikolai Lantsov?” she asked breathlessly. He nodded, smiling slightly. 

“In the flesh and just as handsome,” he joked, in an attempt to ease the situation in case this had gone wrong. 

“Then I definitely don’t want your childhood,” came her reply, and it was back to her surprising him. He’d thought she would condemn him for hiding it or running away from his duties to Ravka, or laugh at him and tell him to keep dreaming, but instead she had... accepted it? Without being upset? “I think I would die of boredom from all the dinners where nobody said anything interesting and had to take tea with the other ladies.”

“That’s why I left. The boring dinner parties, that is. I very rarely took tea with the other ladies.”

Y/N laughed at that, her whole face lighting up to match the sun in front of them. It had almost fully risen now, and Nikolai hadn’t realised that so much time had passed. 

“So you’re not lying about it then? You really are Nikolai Lantsov?”

“I am. I would greatly appreciate it if that was kept between the two of us, though. Minimises the number of people who might try to kill me.”

She nodded in response, then twisted back towards the horizon, basking in it the way she was when he first found her that morning. He supposed he should do the same, but he couldn’t take his eyes off of her. 

“It’s truly beautiful, isn’t it?” 

“Yeah,” he replied, in almost a whisper. 

He was still looking at her. 

Without turning around she said “I mean the view in front of us, idiot.”

He thought of everything that had been said between them this morning, in this gentle hour or so, and all the times since they had met when he thought there was something there, something between them, something more, and made a decision. 

“And what if I would rather look at a different view?”

She whipped her head around so quickly he was worried she’d break her neck, and seemed surprised at his question, but pleasantly so. He’d done it again. Surprised her. He just hoped this wouldn’t backfire and leave him broken hearted. 

“Then... I don’t think the view would mind too much.”

She was smiling softly, looking at him now and not the sun. At some point she’d moved closer to him, or had he moved closer to her? Either way they were near enough that his fingers on the railing were brushing against hers, his breath catching in his throat when she pushed her hand into his to link their fingers. Nikolai smiled back, a true smile, not his signature Sturmhond smile for charming his way out of situations. 

No, this was a situation he wanted to remain in forever. 

“It really is rude to stare, though,” she chastised, although he could tell she didn’t mean it from the smile on her face. 

“I’m just appreciating the view.”

“Well the view would feel very much appreciated if she was bought breakfast.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes.”

“And what would the view like for breakfast?”

“Pancakes. The view would like pancakes.”

“Pancakes it is. So... it’s a date, then?”

She blinked, and he thought he’d gone too far, read it all wrong, and then her face split into a grin and he decided that he would spend the rest of his life trying to get it to happen again because it was gorgeous. 

“It’s a date.”

[likeadevils]

Girl at Home isn’t about Zac. That was when the demo was recorded. Zac was single in 2011, and barely knew Taylor then just met her briefly a few times.

Come Back Be Here is about starting to fall for someone that you didn’t know you had feelings for, then realising they meant a lot to you after they left. That’s the whole point of delicate beginning rush, and not knowing much at all. Playing nonchalant because Taylor kept saying back then they’re not dating, or acting like she cares around Zac.

“Freckles and your bright eyes” Harry has green eyes but his eyes are no where close as Zac’s that are blue green and vividly bright. Harry doesn’t have freckles and you have to zoom in close up, to see a few sun spots on his face but they aren’t freckles. She never wrote about freckles on 1989 either.

Zac has freckles all over his nose and cheeks and the lyrics are “hoping it gets to you, where are you wondering if I’m ever gonna see you again”? Taylor still sees Harry even to this day. She hasn’t seen Zac since 2012. The last time being in August.

Zac was in New York and London around the time these songs were also written. Which contradicts and debunks the Harry theory because Harry was touring australia and already in New York the same time as Taylor making it factually and logically possible to be about Harry

okay so girl at home: you can’t tell me that the song being written in the exact same chords she taught him isn’t compelling. but i could see it being about some other gross dude— i think taylor wrote the song more about her growing sense of sisterhood then like, a single guy

come back be here: paragraph two could apply to harry just as well, especially since they literally had a weekend getaway in new york and then had to leave? like? that matches the first verse perfectly? and beyond that a) australia doesn’t fit the meter b) she talked a few times in 2012 about being afraid of putting to many identifying details in the songs and how that was messing with her process a bit, and i think naming all the cities harry had gone to would be one of those worrying identifying details c) i think it could easily be partially written about when he left la for new york, partially when he left new york for tour

i genuinely don’t care who message in a bottle is about because like. i don’t think it’s about a person i think it’s about a pattern of behavior? but even then, sometimes taylor flattens or embellishes the truth to make a better songs. like john mayer doesn’t have a gap between his teeth and i don’t think she was ever in love with taylor laughter, but it makes the songs better

also i just find it hard to believe taylor wrote a bunch of songs about a coworker rather than like, a guy she dated on and off for multiple years

[lonelier-version-of-you]

I didn’t particularly like that episode. Now, admittedly, a lot of that is my own problem. Faith is objectively an abuser and the show’s refusal to call her out on it is disturbing, so her parts were never gonna be any good, but maybe if I had any investment in the Marty/Adi/Robyn/Paul surrogacy stuff I would’ve got more enjoyment out of this episode. I don’t, though, so I didn’t. I actively dislike both Adi (though at least we’re supposed to hate him) and Paul. Robyn is just kind of meh (and try as I might, I can’t forget her comments about refugees “jumping the queue” a few years ago). Marty is the only one I like, but even then, he can’t carry this story for me when everyone else in it is someone I’m not interested in.

I also felt this episode was a bit lacking in patient stories. That real feeling of busyness the department has had in the rest of this series so far just wasn’t there in this ep. I know they were taking up a lot of time with the Hutton family and their storyline, but it still frustrated me.

Even putting how awful Faith is aside, the Faith/Iain/Hutton family story was just... meh. The actress playing Olivia (I think that was her name?) was very good, and in fact all the actors were pretty great. But a lot of the writing just fell flat to me.

The show’s romanticisation of Faith and attempts to demand that we see her as a good person are becoming increasingly disturbing to me. In fact, we’ve now got Faith lecturing Iain about how to talk to recovering alcoholics with abusive fathers. That description ring a bell? Yeah, that’s because it’s also a description of Dylan. You know, the man Faith manipulated, used for some cheap “revenge” on Lev all while letting Dylan think she really loved him, and then lashed out at him and broke up with him for being a recovering alcoholic.

Trying to paint Faith as a fucking saviour to abuse victims is so gross I cannot even begin to describe it. We are talking about a woman who strangled a teenager and tried to rape her husband. How DARE they, how fucking dare they, put her in scenes where she lectures abuse victims about how their abuse isn’t their fault? Faith is a monster. She can act like she’s sweet and kind all she wants. She can get lucky and figure out the truth behind a patient case, making her look like some kind of hero (any of the staff could’ve happened to be the person to realise DJ stabbed Keith, the fact that it ended up being Faith is pure coincidence!). But she will be no less a monster.

There was nothing, nothing more satisfying to me tonight than seeing Dylan tell Faith to get out while they were treating Keith. One small silver lining in an episode that otherwise painted Faith as a hero.

Also, the optics of having Ethan stick up for Faith when she and Iain were arguing... erm... the writers probably don’t remember this, because you know they don’t care, they didn’t care when they wrote the episode and they don’t care now, but Ethan is literally a sexual assault survivor. Series 30 episode 37, a patient tried to rape him - physically grabbed him and tried to pull off his clothes while he shouted for her to stop (she eventually fainted before she could go through with it). And it was treated as “funny”, because Ethan is a man and his assaulter was a woman.

That episode was in 2016. And now, we’ve got Ethan defending Faith, an attempted rapist herself - whom the show has allowed to get away with her actions because she’s a woman who tried to rape a man. You’d like to hope in all these years someone on the writing team would’ve seen sense and thought “no, sexual abuse isn’t okay, no matter who it happens to”. But they haven’t, have they? The fucking rape apologism has just continued.

I know no one knows, in-universe, what Faith did to Lev. But still, just... this isn’t a good look. It’s more about what it symbolises, i.e. that Casualty still has a rape apologism problem that they still haven’t bothered trying to fix.

One very good scene came from this story, however - and it was nothing to do with Faith. It was the scene near the end, with Dylan showing anger that Keith had survived the ordeal. “Good news for a bad man.” So well-written, even though it was just a tiny little moment, and William Beck’s performance added so much to it.

These callbacks to Dylan’s childhood recently make me really want a flashback episode for him. I tweeted as such, and the official TVTimes account liked the tweet. That probably doesn’t mean anything but I can dream, right?

Moving on to the surrogacy story. When they first started keeping Adi on the show even after the Paula story, I grew concerned we’d be asked to like him. Thankfully, that hasn’t happened. They know he’s a terrible person (I wish I could say the same for Faith, but ah well) and they’re writing him as such. He’s definitely nowhere near good enough for Marty.

I liked the patient story with the young woman and her fiancee. That was fun. They were very cute.

The old woman who liked chess was sweet, as well, even though most of her scenes were with Faith. I’ve got to be honest - I liked her (the chess lady, not Faith!!!!!) mostly because I think Henrik would like her. But still, she was nice.

Dylan didn’t have that much to do tonight, but I really did appreciate the scenes he did get. He basically carried the whole episode.

Next week, we have more of the surrogacy story that I don’t really care about, but we ALSO get a re-visiting of Stevie’s story. Now that, I’m excited for. Give me the Stevie content.

[percontaion-points]

TBWSIMBW chapter 12

Today's review might be difficult for some; reader discretion is advised

Click to see the rest of the snark & image descriptions

Click here for the rest of the series!

Chapter 12

We must have fallen asleep because I woke up with Liam wrapped all over me. I looked at his clock. Holy crap, it was past nine!

Okay, so I kind of take back half of the nice things I said about Liam’s parents in the previous chapter. They willingly let their teenage son take his new girlfriend upstairs to his room, where Liam and Amber proceeded to fall asleep together. Obviously, Pat and Rick are way too permissive. Little wonder that Liam has been spending 8 years sleeping in bed with Amber and they never noticed. 

Pat smirked at me. “Bye, Amber. Did you guys have fun?” she asked, giving me a wink.

Jail. 

We were going to have to move to china. [Image description: The C in “china” is not capitalised. End description.]

I love how that’s not capitalised. 

I snuggled into him and heard him whisper, “I love you,” right before I fell back into a deep dreamless sleep; I didn’t doubt his words this time.

Chapter 12 summary: Amber realises that she and Liam dozed off, and panics as she wakes Liam up. On her way out, Liam’s mum is like “I hope you had fun ehuehuehu”, which is super gross, but barely a blip on the radar as far as this book goes. Back home, Jake is only upset that he missed a family dinner with Liam’s family, since he apparently loves Liam’s parents. 

He then tells Amber that their mum called, and he has to break some bad news to Amber. The news is that their father is hoping to “make amends”. Amber obviously starts to spiral and have a panic attack. Then Liam is there, because instead of calling literally anybody else, he decided “Hey, let’s call this guy that I’m pretty sure my sister fucking hates!” Make it make sense from Jake’s perspective, please. 

Anyway, Liam being there obviously calms Amber down. But this tips Jake off as to the actual nature of their relationship. Liam confesses that he and Amber are together. I thought that it would end there… but Liam goes on to explain literally everything that’s been going on over the past 8 years. Amber calms Jake down by explaining that Liam being there prevents her from having nightmares. The only time when she still does is when Liam is out of town, or she can’t be in bed with him. For his part, Jake is weirdly accepting of all of this. I think it’s mainly Amber explaining her lack of nightmares, which… IDK how anybody else would react about that. 

Jake goes to bed. Liam says he has to go check in with his parents, but jokes about coming in through the front door. Amber agrees that he can do it so long as he tells his parents he’s going to sleep over at their house. 

[lord-radish]

Top 5 Media Experiences of 2022

The Blacklist

Snapcube's Ratchet and Clank 3 playthrough

DanganRonpa 1 and 2

Dar Williams

lord-radish

The Blacklist is a network TV show starring James Spader as Raymond Reddington, the most wanted criminal in America - if not the world - with a list of criminals that the FBI can't catch or don't even know about in the first place. Every episode is about hunting down a new target on the eponymous Blacklist.

It has several staples of your average network TV long-runner - a main character who's a bit watered down for the sake of being a viewpoint into this wider world painted by the other characters, a story and cast that tends to meander a bit after 8+ years on TV because they don't want to end the show, and a lot of "copaganda" aspects that come with the main cast mostly being FBI dealing with huge, homicidal threats.

I've watched eight seasons of the show this year.

I have my issues with it. I like it a lot. They're phoning it in. I can't wait to see how they finally wrap up the story. I'm sick of watching it. I'm watching the show with a fantastic fan theory in mind. They're either never gonna answer the big questions or it's gonna be like How I Met Your Mother all over again.

Simply put, the way I enjoy this show isn't particularly cut and dry. Most of the above paragraph is me goofing around, but there's a big kernel of truth to all of it.

First of all - I initially adored the myth arc. James Spader turns himself into the FBI in exchange for being taken to see Elizabeth Keen, a profiler who's starting her first day on the job. That relationship forms the core of the show's mystery - why her? What's his connection to Elizabeth Keen? Is it her dad? She has a dad. Is there more to that than anyone realises?

That plot development gets pretty muddy as the show goes on. But for four seasons, it's a really, really good hook. And that fan theory I mentioned is incredibly frigging juicy - it's the entire reason I began watching the show, and at this point it's literally the only option that would make sense.

Secondly, it builds this whole mythos about the criminal underworld and puts Raymond Reddington right at the centre of it. Reddington, especially early on, is a bit, fat Mary Sue - he ALWAYS comes out on top. He knows every score, he goes behind every back and he comes out on top. And it's all set to James Spader giving the most long-winded, scenery chewing speeches.

That is exactly what I signed up for, and I adore the fuck out of it.

I love Boston Legal, partially because James Spader has such an intense, listenable voice. That show was about him as a goofy lawyer. This show is about him as a chatty kingpin of the criminal underworld, with a lot of that previous charm paired by a willingness to kill and to threaten people in a way that he absolutely can and will follow through on. It's absolutely fan-fucking-tastic.

But frankly, the criminal underworld loses its luster after a while - it's not exactly John Wick after ten years on a TV budget. And Spader absolutely begins to phone it in at some point, I would say it's around season six. He has his producer credit, he gets his paycheck, he shows up and says the lines and wears a hat. That's just the way it is.

Third, the gimmick of the show is absolutely genius for an episodic show. It's money in the bank.

The show is about a list of criminals, and every episode is about catching one of those criminals. You can make that list AS LONG AS YOU NEED IT TO BE. It's fantastic, and you can go absolutely batshit insane dreaming up new villains of the week - one of the dudes they take out in the first season is named The Stewmaker, and he dissolves bodies. Another guy brokers contraband by hiding it under his skin. It's gross, it's grisly, and it's so much fun.

But the episodic structure goes awry in two places.

First of all, the show focuses less on episodic stories over time in favor of longer myth arcs. It goes from strong standalone characters like I mentioned before to strings of less creative characters who act as macguffins to get to the next story beat in the season's arc. The criminal translation agency has a key to the server of a criminal plastic surgeon who'll lead us to the head of the terrorist cell who's about to bomb the White House - that sort of thing.

And the myth arcs are good for a few seasons. Season four is the absolute highlight of the show in my opinion. But that excellent quality doesn't last forever, because how many equally dangerous enemies does the most wanted man in the world have after he keeps defeating every big fish that swims up against him? And with the quality of the episodic villains of the week going down in favor of these larger myth arcs, only for the myth arcs to decline in quality after ten years, it does unfortunately drag the show down a little.

Another way the "Blacklist" concept goes awry - when do you use the more dangerous members of the list, the ones in the double- and single-digits of the list? When do you use the top 10? When do you make an episode about the top entry on the Blacklist?

This show has been on for almost 200 episodes. And I hate to say it, but there aren't a lot of double- or single-digit Blacklist members left. It's a natural consequence of the show going for as long as it has.

Also I'm only going to touch on this briefly, but the fanbase can make the show worse - specifically, a contingent of users on IMDB who hate on the main character and call for her to get killed off with 1 and 0 star reviews. I once saw a review saying that an episode would have been a 10/10, but because she showed up right at the end, it's a 7/10.

It's clearly a stupid thing for me to get worked up about, but like I said before - the show has imperfect aspects that come with the territory of being a long-running network TV show, and those aspects are compromises that come with the territory of watching a show like this. It's really demoralising to see such a vocal contingent of fans going "kill this character off and make the whole show about James Spader" - I like Spader, but I really, really dislike that take.

The reason I'm putting this show at the top of the list - and I have decided that this is a numbered list again - is because for better or for worse, it's been the one show I've gotten invested in this year. It's not at all in the same league as The Good Place or Moral Orel, or even Boston Legal (and that last show genuinely approaches a level of sleaze that makes it hard to watch at a certain point). But for as much as I can call it schlock, or even trash TV past a certain point - I can't deny how much I've enjoyed watching The Blacklist this year, and how much I continue to enjoy it.

The Blacklist is a flawed show with a big name attached, and after ten years on the air it doesn't have the same fire in its belly as it used to have. But it's a staple program that I've really been enjoying, and there isn't anything else I could talk about that has taken up more time or brain power than this show.

[circethesinner]

the puppeteer ✿ you're weird - chapter 21 ✿

pairing: steve harrington x original female character (can be read as x reader)

warning(s): strong language, descriptions of violence, mature themes 

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previous chapter ━ ✿ ━ next chapter

masterlist

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"I think Nance and I would be better off as just friends," Bambi swatted Steve's hand away from her plate as he spoke. She'd ordered herself three sides of mozzarella sticks instead of a main, and Steve had already eaten one of her sides as well as the burger he'd ordered for himself. They used the term 'ordered' loosely as they were eating dinner at the diner since George was out of town and wouldn't threaten Steve for stepping foot there. The staff wouldn't let Bambi pay for her meal since George owned the whole place. They just joked that she'd have to clean up after herself, which she always did anyway out of habit.

"As long as she doesn't kick me out of the best friend spot," Bambi grinned, reaching over to grab some of Steve's fries in retaliation. "Though how could anyone replace me?" "You're right. Who could replace a curly-haired loudmouth with no filter or sense of personal space?" He teased.

"Dustin!" She pointed out immediately, the description being scarily accurate for him. "Also, slightly offended by that. Besides, you're the one who has no sense of personal space. You're literally playing footsie with me right now because you can't stand to be away from me for even a single meal."

"It's not footsie! Stop making it weird!" Steve complained, retracting his legs away from Bambi, which he'd been using to gently kick her the entire time at the diner. She smiled at the way his face had turned completely red.

"You're weird!" She retorted. He snatched a mozzarella stick while she was distracted. "Hey! Give that back!" She tried to say, but he'd already started eating it.

"You want it back?" He asked through a mouthful. Bambi cringed and looked away.

"God, you're so gross!" She groaned. "I don't know what Nancy ever saw in you!"

"I'll have you know plenty of girls go crazy over me!" Steve announced proudly, having swallowed his food.

"Oh yeah?" Bambi snorted. "Name three."

"There's... Jenna..." He said, his words dripping with uncertainty.

"Jenna who?" She asked, trying to hold back a shit-eating grin.

"I don't know her last name, but she's... Jenna," He mumbled, sinking back into his seat.

"Come on, Stevie, don't feel bad," She tried to cheer him up. She knew that sometimes he did miss being 'King Steve' who could apparently make any girl fall in love with him with a single look. At least, that's how he phrased it. "There are plenty of girls who would love a date with the Steve Harrington, I'm sure of it... I mean, I can't name three, and neither can you, but they don't need names."

"Wow, you have such a way with words, you're really making me feel better." Steve tutted. "Maybe I should try and get Nancy back? I mean, who else is out there?" "Plenty of girls... or boys? Who knows what the future holds?" Bambi grinned as Steve scrunched up a napkin and threw it at her face. "Well, I don't think Mr and Mrs Wheeler will appreciate you showing up at their house this late at night, but those roses will keep for a while. You've got time to decide how you want to proceed with things."

"Sometimes you talk like a robot who's just learning human emotions," He huffed. It was Bambi's turn to pick up the scrunched-up napkin and throw it at him.

"Hey! I worked hard perfecting my human emotions!" She pouted at him. "It was difficult after being a glorified lab rat." "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean it like that!" Steve panicked, apologising profusely. "You're-"

"Stevie, I'm teasing you!" Bambi interrupted with a laugh. "It's okay, really!" He looked incredibly relieved as his shoulders untensed, realising he hadn't actually upset her. It actually warmed Bambi's heart to see how much he genuinely seemed to care about her.

One of the waitresses, Tiffany, came over to the table to take their now empty plates, and Bambi slipped her a tip. She always liked Tiffany. She was only a year or two out of high school, so she was almost like an older sister whenever they were working together. She smiled and thanked Bambi before walking away with the plates.

"Tiff is single," Bambi gently kicked Steve under the table. "Want me to set you up with her if things don't work out with you and Nancy?"

"No! I mean, I'm sure she's lovely, but I'm not interested in her," He shrugged. "She's just not my type."

"Oh, pray tell, what is your type?" She said teasingly. Steve's entire face flushed a bright red, and he shook his head, refusing to answer. "You're no fun!" Bambi tutted, giving up after prying a few more times.

"What's your type?" Steve fired back.

"Oh, easy!" Bambi laughed. "Harrison Ford or Olivia Newton-John!"

"You're setting the bar way too high there," He instantly shook his head. "No one normal can live up to those standards."

"Maybe I don't want someone normal?" She challenged. "Maybe I plan to run away to Hollywood straight out of school to seduce an old, rich producer to fall in love with me and then beg to be cast as an extra on set? Then I'll be all charming and mysterious on set and make the lead fall in love with me and run away with them instead."

"Oh my god! How long have you been planning this?" Steve laughed in disbelief at how thought out it was. "And will you take me with you when you go?"

"Hell yeah!" Bambi cheered, a little too loud. Half the diner had turned to glare at her for interrupting their meals, but she couldn't care less. "We're ride or die, baby!"

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Bambi had spent the entire morning and half of the afternoon psyching Steve up for what he was about to do. He'd flip-flopped a few times between wanting Nancy back and wanting to just be friends until he'd finally landed on the latter and insisted it was what he wanted to do.

Bambi was a lot happier with this option than she would have been if he'd chosen to remain with Nancy. She tried to tell herself that it was just because she knew that it wouldn't work between them in the end, and she didn't want to watch her best friends break one another's hearts. But, deep down, she knew there was something else there that caused the feeling, something that she didn't dare linger on for more than a split second. It was a can of worms she wasn't ready to open, and truthfully she didn't know if she'd ever be ready to open it.

"You've got this. You've absolutely got thi- stop holding the roses so tightly you're going to damage them!" Bambi batted at Steve's arm. His fist held the bouquet so tightly that his knuckles were turning white. "I know I keep saying you've got this, but if you're not ready, we can turn around and go play some board games or some shit."

"No... no, you're right," Steve sighed, turning his head to look at the Wheeler house. "I've got this."

"You've got this!" She grinned, cheering him on again. "Now go!" She watched as he opened the car door, bouquet in hand, mumbling to himself. She rolled down the window in order to hear what was happening. Bambi was very aware of how nosey and invasive it was to listen in to their official breakup, but she wanted to hear first-hand so she could provide comfort wherever needed.

"I'm sorry. We can't do this anymore," Steve repeated the words they'd practised. "I'm sorry? What the hell am I sorry for? She's the one who-" He was interrupted by a familiar voice. Bambi stuck her head out the window to see what was happening.

"Steve?" Dustin called out, walking over to Steve. "Are those for Mr or Mrs Wheeler?"

"No?" Steve looked down at Dustin in confusion.

"Dusty, leave him be!" Bambi called through the car window, but apparently, Dustin had a different idea as he snatched the flowers out of Steve's hand and started walking towards the car.

"Nancy isn't home," He said, throwing the roses through the window at Bambi, who completely failed to catch them. Dustin should have known better, there was a reason she never played catch with him and that reason was that Bambi had the hand-eye coordination of a worm.

"Where is she?" Steve asked while Dustin opened the door to get into the backseat of Steve's car.

"Doesn't matter. We have bigger problems than your love life." Dustin sighed as though they should know what was going on. "Do you still have that bat?"

"Bat? What bat?" Steve started to walk back to the car.

"The one with the nails?" Bambi looked back as Dustin invited himself into the car. "I'll explain it on the way."

"On the way to where?" She asked. Steve sat back down in the driver's seat.

"Bambi, why weren't you picking up?" Dustin questioned, ignoring Steve. "I tried to contact everyone but there was radio silence. Code red."

"Steve and I were busy!" Bambi defended.

"Gross," Dustin shook his head.

"Oh my god! Not like that!" She sighed, throwing the flowers back at him. "The radio is in my room, but we've been crashing on the couch watching The Price is Right every night."

"My back hurts, and I've got bruises on my legs from when you kept kicking me off the couch and onto the floor," Steve grumbled, starting up the car. He turned to look at Dustin in the backseat. "Where are we dropping you off? Arcade? Your house?"

"My house," Dustin told them. "You two are staying to help me get rid of my pet."

"Mews?" Bambi shook her head. "I'm not killing Mews! I love Mews!" 

"Not Mews!" He sighed. "It ate Mews already."

"Something ate Mews?" She shouted as Steve started the car. "What the fuck, Dustin? How did it eat Mews?" "Its face opened up, and it just ate her!" He wasn't doing a great job of explaining it. "It's in my basement, and we need to get rid of it because it keeps on growing. This is why I was trying to contact you on the radio, but no! You were too busy kissing Steve!"

"We don't kiss, dipshit! We're just friends," Bambi rolled her eyes. She was still trying to process the information that Dustin had adopted some unknown creature that ate Mews. "So what exactly is this cat-eating face-opening pet?" 

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oh lord things are going DOWN from here on out >.>

bambi loved mews but mews absolutely didn't love her, she's one of those people who would grab a cat and treat it like a baby and call it cute while it clawed at her face... I say this as someone who is also like that :)

likes are very much appreciated and I will give each and every one of you little kisses on the forehead for each comment you write :)

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taglist (let me know if you want to be added!)

@missyviolet123 @littlet-holmes @buzzybee111 @preciousbabypeter @youmakemyhearthowl

[smol-jinyoungie96]

Devil Judge - Episode 5 (i’m not okay)

Right! So review timeeeee this is a long one lol

I love the opening. Facts

This man clearly carries a lot of burden but he loves his brother so much.

Watching the first part made me wonder if they are trying to make the viewers think if he really killed his brother and is guilty, hence the nightmares of his dead brother standing in the middle of his room, or is it because he feels guilty that he was only able to save Elijah and himself… either way they kinda show us that there is guilt somewhere in him.

When Elijah comes to his room she says about him not waking up like that before, could mean that Ga On’s presence is worsening his guilty conscious, or from my perspective, i just think that 10 years worth of forcibly trampled down trauma is threatening to explode.

Devil judge or not, no one can control that amount of severe trauma for long.

Next point! Kim Ga On is so sweet with a kind heart, he initially joined the court to spy on Yohan but just based on him clawing open unhealed wounds, he feels so deeply for Yohan to the point he is willing to quit the bench just so Yohan doesn’t have to look at him and see his brother’s face every time.

He tries to relate to Yohan on an emotional level that they both feel due to losing their loved ones. But a few things that I noticed is that when Yohan says,

“I certainly don’t want to hear that from someone that looks like him”

Again, being called the devil judge or not, but having someone who shares the same face as his brother accusing him of killing the said brother has to hurt deep down.

2. “I wonder how much you’ve discovered”

To me, i think that Yohan knew from the beginning that Ga On was looking into him, and yet he has Ga On in a place where Bambi himself admits to it.

3. “I don’t remember asking you to understand me”

I feel like he is intentionally pretending to push Ga On away because he knows that Bambi will do the exact opposite. It is literally in Ga On’s blood to always try and sympathise with anyone who has any sort of emotional baggage. He knows he can lure Ga On more towards him if he pushed the right buttons.

One part that stuck to me the most is when Ga On says

“hunters mask their scent completely, until the time is right”

Could it be foreshadowing?

It could hint towards him fooling Ga On to believing him until it is too late for Bambi to realise because well, Ga On falls for any heartbreaking story.

But at the same time it is also similar to the way Yohan is so close with the rich socialites to win their trust until the time is right for him to finally reveal that he is in fact a hunter and they’ve been his prey all along.

When Ga On leaves Yohan says that “it’s weird because I’ve never experienced that before”

That, being another human being connecting to him on such a deep emotional level and that’s something he hasn’t felt for almost ten years.

The way he talks about Ga On relating to him with an expression of awe makes me think that it could also be a fact as to why Yohan has this obsession with Ga On.

The minister’s interview was a clever way to show the people that despite being a mother she is a person who has her duty towards the country as a priority but also wanting to make the public question Yohan’s morals.

Please look at his fond little smile,

it’s a genuine reaction to Ga On tricking him into eating proper food by mentioning wrinkles and his age 💀 but also, signs to say that the little annoying pest is growing on him.

The scene with Ga On and Soo Hyun, they talk about the fire and there’s one line that Soo hyun says,

“The list of attendees to the ceremony was covered up, that’s not something Kang Yohan could’ve done 10 years ago. That takes controlling the press and prosecution”

A clear indication that someone who held power over both media and the prosecution was involved in the accident.

Everything Ga On has seen so far after he joined the live show has terrorised him so much but he is still worried about Soo Hyun because he has seen things that she hasn’t.. even when she’s a cop.. even when the reason she became a cop in the first place is because she want to help him and to keep him out of trouble.

Their bond is so pure and cute.

THE TRIAL

The beginning was so cute with the sweetest welcome back to Ga On and then there’s Yohan giving him a fond smile as if Ga On was actually on death’s doorstep and not snooping around his house arguing with a nanny about not being sleeping beauty..

The case was a set up from the get go. It was just a trap from the beginning to push Yohan to a corner.

They wanted him to have no where to turn to when prosecution suggested “physical castration” (gross) because if he gave into the requested sentence,

they would very easily twist it into making him look like a sadistic monster and if he didn’t give in and went with the 20 years of prison time requested by the defendant,

that would make him look like just another person who doesn’t bother with taking people’ opinion into consideration. Which would make his own statements from the first episode wildly contradicting to what he went with.

Even the stupid lawyer tries so hard to push him to this corner by repeating “this is what the majority wants” but Kang Yohan is definitely smarter than they give him credit for because he puts the pieces together as soon as Jung Sun Ah sets foot inside the court room.

I love that Ga On as a judge as come to a point where he genuinely relied on Yohan as to what they were going to do instead of directly challenging his authority like he had done in the first case. Another sign that Ga On is starting to trust his boss.

Jung Sun Ah thinks! That she has him helpless but then this man turns the whole game upside down. (Even here, it’s really just a game in the name of justice, it is a power play between two sides)

If the minister and Jung Sun Ah thought they were a step ahead of Yohan, he definitely proved that he is ten steps ahead of them when he gave that sentence.

I completely adore the trust Ga On and Jin Joo has on their boss. Especially the way Ga On shares a real relieved smile with Jin Joo and the way he looks so relieved that things weren’t going to be as bad as he thought.

Teen Ga On was definitely a delinquent. The sight is just ✨

Another important point is that just when he learns to trust his boss, now he is struggling,

Because from one side there’s Kang Yohan asking him is he’s going to stand by him or stand against him,

And on the other hand there’s the Chief Justice asking him to choose between being an accomplice or an informant.

They’re both essentially asking him to pick a side and it looks like they’re pulling him back and forth between themselves. He’s struggling because as much as he wants to stand by Yohan, he can see that Yohan’s approach to justice is being adapted by the public,

For an example when those three kids were playing, it gives him a notion that the barbaric flogging system is now being used as a playing method by kids.. kids. It genuinely seemed to scare him that the way those kids were laughing and smiling while playfully hitting the small boy.

Kim Ga On is shown as this impulsive, level headed judge with a black and white sense of Justice but he too carries a lot of pain and burden similar to Yohan. But in his case, he’s being put on the spot between the two sides, eventually it will be him who has to face the consequences if he chooses the wrong side.

And being on the wrong side of Kang Yohan doesn’t really seem to be the smartest thing at the moment.

Going back to Kang Yohan and Kim Ga On, i like the way Bambi calls Yohan out for implying that being a monster is better than being a victim when he’s not brave enough to face his own pain.

That genuine shock on Yohan’s face is enough to show that Kim Ga On is really out there pulling out this man’s traumas one by one like he’s pulling out grass from the ground.

Again it shows how much Yohan is suffering inside because ultimately, that mansion is just a giant nightmare for him.

JUNG SUN AH/KANG YOHAN

first of all.

CONSENT!

i felt bad for Yohan.

But Jung Sun Ah is really obsessed with him to the point she jumped from the second floor just because he said he to, when Yohan came to a place of power, she worked herself to her own place of power. Her obsession with him runs too deep.

Tomorrow’s episode is already making me nervous because i feel like Jung Sun Ah is going to use Soo Hyun to drive a wedge between Yohan and Ga On.

If he did his homework on Ga On. I’m sure she has done hers as well.

More or less, Episode 5 was like the calm before the storm.

Unsurprisingly, i hate storms.

If you’ve made it this far, thank you for listening to me ranting.

Please send help

[casasupernovas]

more:

series 4 may have a new companion, but it still seems to hinge too much on rose. series 3 seems to have little consequence on the overall story. so much so, that if you took out series 3 altogether and went straight from the 'runaway bride' to 'partners in crime' and swapped out martha in the sontaran two parter for the brigadier...the only consequence of series 3 that is shown in 'turn left' when the doctor dies is that he wasn't there to help when the royal hope goes to the moon, and everyone bar one dies, including martha, sarah jane and her crew. rose isn't even aware of her existence, and by proxy she is not even aware of sarah jane's death either. right at the beginning of the series after yet another blonde takes the helm in 'voyage of the damned', the doctor seems to feel guilty for what happened with martha, with donna commenting that he acting better than he was the first time they met, only for him to reduce the entire situation to be that martha had a fancied him even though we know she was in LOVE with him, something he KNEW because she admitted it to John Smith and we KNOW he remembers 1913 very clearly, and saying it got 'complicated' is a gross simplification of the series that was very annoying to watch.

in fact, this simplification becomes downright alarming to donna when she hears the full story of what actually happened to martha and her family. furthermore, it's sets up a weird superiority over martha just because donna is not romantically interested as if the idea of romance in itself hinders a character. it doesn't, if handled correctly. i dont think rose's romance hinders her - i just wish they had made her more equal to the other companions. as far as i know, this was never really a thing in classic who, people had favourites, but no companion appeared to be deemed better than the other. in the 'fires of pompeii' - the emotional weight of why the doctor needs a companion is great...until you realise he should have already learnt this with martha already. and with all the rose cameos, it also felt like donna was becoming dimmed in her season too albeit not too much as catherine tate brought her so much character that she is hard to diminish.

'turn left' while a stellar episode, leaves a bitter taste in my mouth as the more i rewatch, the more callous rose seems and the more the story seems to just be a ploy for rose to scarifice donna to get her man back. i dont think this was the intention but it's certainly what it feels like. it made more sense to see someone like martha in that story, rather than rose, as martha was literally working with unit, and it is implied that unit keeps tabs on certain worlds and timelines, and it would have been really eerie for donna to meet martha jones, only to see on the tv that the woman she just spoke to was dead. also rose seems downright psychopathic when she leans over donna's dying body with no sadness for her death and says "bad wolf." and although im sure everyone was exicted to see rose again, i feel like it would have been more impactful if she wasn't involved because she was still trapped in 'pete's world' and instead, we get a surprise last farewell when the doctor sees her again in 'the end of time part 2'.

seeing rose pre the first season for the first time since series 2 would have been more impactful in my opinion. additionally, it felt odd for the show to display rose as some sort of warrior with a massive gun she barely even uses, especially with what the doctor had said multiple times in this series in regards to guns, especially as his daughter literally got shot a couple episodes previously and his response to her murderer. in fact, i don't even even remember what rose actually did in the 'stolen earth/journeys end' two parter (please comment). i only remember martha working for unit, jack dying and liasing with torchwood back in cardiff, harriet jones bringing everyone together, and the red herring thrown in with mickey, sarah jane and the osterhagen key. and of course the meta crisis doctor and donna. i even read that even billie piper wasn't a fan of how rose's story ended. her immediately leaping into the meta crisis doctor's arms was selfish but selfishness is one of the main characteristics to rose. it was realistic so i didn't dislike it. but it was kind of annoying when they were all on zoom as it were (haha!) and rose immediately got jealous of martha.

again, jealously is another classic rose trait, but i would have thought rose would have grown up a little at this point. and the "she's good" line to martha wasn't as great as they probably thought it would be, as at this point in the story, martha didn't want or need rose's random stamp of approval.

all in all, i think the impact of rose, and handling of subsequent companions could have been handled much better. martha could have still been in love and have agency like she does in the doctor who novels. and i think we all know donna can stand on her own two feet as a character. and i personally felt that a point that series 2 should have focused on more than the 'my boyfriend the doctor' thing should have been the instability of traveling with him. they would explore this to an extent but the tone would almost always be a little ruined e.g. rose being devastated at mickey choosing to stay in the parallel universe only to forget his existence in 'the idiot's lantern' the very next episode. i did like however how they handled mickey & rose in 'army of ghosts' because you could see that rose was visibly hurt that mickey wasn't exactly fawning over her anymore, but it wasn't like she could say anything. and some points she talks to him and he doesn't even look at her. and because i liked rose so much, it just became quite disappointing to see how her character was subsequently handled after her departure.

fin.

[eloiseishere]

!!!!Contains Fresh(2022) spoilers!!!!

Summary: My ADHD brain reviews the movie and comments on the fact that I don’t seem to be phased at all by all of this… Which to me is more disturbing than the cannibalism portrayed in the movie.

Okay so I watched Fresh(2022) like twice now(once by myself, once with my mum, cuz we’re both whores for this typa genre). And I realised, I’m not phased at all by all of this? I’ve been reading about how people are scared and like creeped out by Steve Kemp and the movie as a general and like that surprises me. Is that a red flag for me? Lmao- Sebastian Stan played his role so well in this, the amount of dedication that goes into the roles he plays is impeccable, I love him.

Anyhow, back to the fact that I’m not phased by cannibalism and murder— I’ve been watching too much Scream-esk movies I guess and like I don’t know where I draw the line anymore with movies? I’ve seen decapitations—that I’ve yet to find out how they film. I’ve seen faces get cut and caved in— oh yea, that’s where I draw the line.

My mum loved that show but like the latest Texas Chainsaw Massacre was so gross. I even joked with my mum who gagged when we watched Steve nonchalantly eat that meatball. Of how that’s where she draws the line when she’s seen a man wear another person’s face as a mask.

I loved that when Steve mentioned he was from Texas, my mum immediately pointed out that that was a red flag lmfao.

Cinematography-wise it was very well shot. The aesthetics, the music scenes, the sceneries. I applaud the crew for doing such a great job capturing the movie in a way that made sense, really. That shot with Steve being visible on Noa’s eyes while he took her ass? The pan of the camera as Steve slides into the room on his first solo dance scene? The wide shot when he sat on the floor after chopping up the last remains of Mellisa? The one shot from Steve dropping Noa off into her cell to walking to Mollie’s to take her tiddies? Noa going for the final bite of human flesh? Incredible. Just, incredible.

Overall, this movie is a big recommend to people that can handle imagining people eat people. Literally tho. It’s not that bad if you think about the fact that they’re just actors who’re eating normal meat most of us eat. But you’re gonna feel quite queasy if you think about the fact that these type of people have existed and may/will continue to exist-

Also I’ve been thinking of going pescatarian while occasionally indulging in meat for a while- but I think this movie have pushed me to do exactly that.

[whitetrashjj]

“I love Pope for the most part but he is a very flawed character- which I think needs to be acknowledged by a lot more by his fans. I go back and forth on him because of these things but it’s also very evident to see when people hate on Pope because of his genuine character flaws and the people who just have internalised racism.”

what flaws? you keep saying pope has flaws, pope stans see through his flaws, the things he’s done wrong… what flaws? can you please list them for us? i’m not even trying to be rude i’m genuinely confused

Okay so I know you’ve been eagerly waiting on the edge of your seat to hear my thoughts on this so I’ve finally got to it. But thank you so for your patience and realising that I don’t actually owe you a response.

Before we start let me state once again, as you’ll chose to ignore this. I don’t hate Pope, I loved him for the first half of the series, that’s the Pope that I like to think of, that’s the Pope that I write in my fics. Then he did some stuff that did not sit right with me, I haven’t completely written him off but I do think that how he’s written in s2 will have a big impact on my opinion.

I’m gonna try and take this in chronological order. So well start with 2x7. This isn’t a big one for me but just something about it didn’t feel right.

So we all know JJ stealing that money wasn’t a great choice. I really wish the rest of the pogues tried to actually understand is reasons rather than jump down his throat and assume he was just being impulsive JJ. So when JJ appealed to Pope about it, points out that JJ had just confessed to a felony, took a beating and now owes $30, 000 and possibly could face time served, and is basically just saying I did that for you can you just try and be on my side here. Pope just goes ‘I’m gonna pay you back. I didn’t ask you to do that’ which I just did not vibe with. It felt like saying ‘well you chose to do that so if I pay back the money I don’t owe you anything’. It completely ignores all the other massive effects it’s had on his life and as if Pope eventually being able to pay JJ back doesn’t eliminate the fact that he owes that money now.

No, it’s not gonna make me hate Pope forever but I just didn’t like that reaction.

So then we have ep 8 and Kie and Pope’s fight on the HMS Pogue. The ‘why is it always about John B?’ which is just ridiculous. Why is it about John B? Because he’s just stormed off in a rage with a gun to confront his father's murderer? Like he could be either getting murdered himself or doing some murdering and while I understand Pope is under a lot of pressure about his scholarship those two situations just aren’t comparable. He also then goes on to call her a shitty friend that only cares about John B and wouldn’t care about him or JJ if they were in that situation but then justifies that by bringing up a situation where she wasn’t there for John B. Which makes no sense? It essentially proves that she’s in a different place now than she was then, in which she wasn’t there for John B - a reason why she is so active in wanting to be there for him now - so the fact that she is now proves that her actions then don’t speak to who she is now post-kook year.

That bring us to what really annoyed me about that fight. Pope throwing Kie’s kook year back in her face simply cause he was jealous and mad that Kie wasn’t giving him the same attention she was giving JB. Like, at a really low point she confided in Pope how bad the Kook Academy was for her, told him that she was suicidal and that Sarah was her only beacon of hope only to drop her without question and turning her into the pariah of the school. And what does he do, uses it to antagise her because he’s not happy. I don’t love that Kie pushed him her but damn can you blame her? She told her friend something she had struggled with alone for so long and he just uses it against her like that. I don’t understand how you can be that cruel to someone you supposedly love. 

Ah, yes the love confession scene. Now even if we ignore how bad the timing was - and act like being high was a justifiable excuse. Let’s talk about the fact that he wouldn’t take no for an answer. I’ve seen Kie get so much hate for how harsh she was but she tried to let him down easy but he just kept pushing and pushing. Insisting that her reasons weren’t good enough as if she needed a reason other than she just doesn’t see him that way.

Now, of course Pope is allowed to be upset by this, but there is a difference between being upset and the friendzone incel nice guys finish last bullshit that Pope pulled. The acting rude and cold and distant towards her like she wronged him. He was angry at her for not feeling the same way and acted like it was her fault and her problem. The revving of the bike scene will never not make my blood boil, she’s trying to approach him as a friend, talk to him and work things out. He could of told her that he needs some time, that he was upset and hurt but no he shows a complete lack of respect for her and literally silences her. It makes me think about that post that goes ‘men like to talk about how much it sucks to be friendzoned. But what about the hurt of thinking you had a friend only to find out they were only nice to you cause they wanted to fuck you.’ It’s understandable he would be upset but he dealt with that situation so poorly - almost in the way that a flawed character would. 

And then to end it all - now this isn’t Pope’s fault I know - our straight white men in the writers room reward him for treating Kie like that with getting the girl. I don’t know a single girl that would change her mind because of that. It was gross and I hated every second of it. 

I don’t hate Pope, but those we’re shitty things. And yes even if he had his reasons, even if he got mad and acted irrationally, they are still shitty things and that’s okay. He’s a flawed character who acted wrong in a situation, because he’s not perfect - and admitting that doesn’t mean you can’t still love him with your whole heart. 

[jungshookz]

OMG UNI YOONGI TALKING TO LISA TO MAKE OC JEALOUS BUT Y/N GETS A LIDDOL UPSET BC LISA'S SO PRETTY AND SO PLAN BACKFIRES AND YOONGI IS LIKE OHNO

➺ pairing; min yoongi x reader

➺ genre; uni!yoongiverse!!!!! if u want to read something that’ll make your heart happy then you just struck gold

➺ wordcount: 6.4k

➺ summary; yoongi’s plan to make you jealous doesn’t go exactly as he’d expected.

➺ what to expect; “i’m y/n y/l/n, my student ID is 10120200, and today i will be discussing the neurobiology behind the complicated mask of romantic attraction.”

➺ optional reading: not necessary but feel free to read some other drabbles from the uni!yoongiverse!

➺ note; okay so thiS was originally how y/n and yoongi got together in the first place but before i had a chance to finish it i ended up writing that christmas mistletoe drabble instead!!! but i still wanted to share this version with u guys :-) also i am the worst at finding the source for gifs but i found it off here!! and the info used in this drabble is from this website!! ok i’m shutting up now happy reading!!!

                                    »»————-　♡　————-««

yoongi is not used to this

and by this he means you

and by you he means he doesn’t understand why you don’t seem to be as into him as much as he’s into you and it’s weird because (not to toot his own horn or anything) he thinks he’s preTTy good at wrapping people around his dainty pinky finger and it just doesn’t seem to be working with you!!

did that sentence even make any sense??

does anything even make any sense anymore????

“-i guess, to answer your question, i don’t really know what to do which is weird because i’m usually pretty confident with everything that i do. you know?” yoongi sighs and shakes his head

the cashier blinks owlishly at him

all she asked him was ‘how are you doing today?’

“so… are you going to order anything or…?

yoongi clears his throat before turning to glance at the very long line of impatient university students wanting their daily fix of caffeine

see????

look what you’ve doNE TO HIM

you’ve broken him and he doesn’t know how to fix himself!!

“…one medium iced vanilla cold brew, please.”

yoongi stares blankly into space as he slurps up the remainder of his coffee

he shakes the cup around a little and the ice rattles inside

“good morning!”

yoongi looks up and nods in acknowledgement as lisa plops down next to him

anyone who’s said that you can’t be friends with your ex obviously didn’t have a meaningful relationship with them

because yoongi and lisa are doing just fine!

they take a history course together

he didn’t actually knoW they were in the same class until he was (very) late to class one day and the only seat left was next to her and he thought that if he didn’t sit next to her the next class that that would open up a whole can of worms that he definitely did noT want to open up (“how come you’re not sitting with me anymore? is it because we used to have sex and now you can’t look me in the eye without thinking about how you broke up with me and your reason was ‘i don’t know, i just feel like we’re… not a great couple’?”)

but the point is  

they get along great!

they don’t hang out outside of class but they get along inside of class which is what matters

“shit, did you happen to get the notes from the last slide? i missed some of the last bullet points-“ lisa grabs yoongi’s notebook and huffs when she sees that all he has on this page are some half-assed notes and a lot of doodles “you are of no use to me.”

“it’s all part of my charm, baby.” yoongi sighs and leans back against the squeaky seat

“i have no idea what i saw in you in the first place.” lisa mumbles to herself as returns her attention to the screen

“oh, babe… you’re making me blush!” yoongi coos before giving her a little punch on the shoulder

“you’re making me want to jump off a cliff- and don’t touCH me-“

and all of a sudden

it hits him

he knows what to do to get you to talk to him!!

he’s spent the last forty minutes of class thinking about your cuTe face and how he’s going to get closer to you but something about what lisa said just inspired him

actually it had nothing to do with what lisa said

it had more to do with her presence and her subtle reminder that they used to date

he needs a catalyst of some kind

he needs to.,.,., to catalyse yoU!

(he learned that word from chemistry but he’s not sure if he’s using it correctly he’ll have to fact-check that with u)

yoongi nudges lisa’s side and she scowls before nudging him back harder

“oW- cut it out-“ yoongi grumbles and swats at her hand

“you started it-“

“will you just shut up-“

“yoU shut up-“

“i need your help with something.” yoongi hisses as he begins to scribble the plan down on his notebook so that lisa can read it instead of him having to whisper it to her in its entirety

he’s not very useful to her but she’s about to be very useful to him

he now knows exactly what to do

>:-)

“if you keep bouncing your leg like that i won’t hesitate to slice it off with this flimsy wooden pathetic excuse of a knife.” jimin leans over to poke the tip of the dull knife into your forearm and you huff before whacking his hand away

“i can’t help it, you knoW i get jumpy when i’m nervous.”

god

you feel itchy

is it hot in here??

or is it just you??

hopefully your armpits aren’t sweaty

nothing kills the mood more than swampy pits

am i right ladies

“y/n, you know he likes you back-“

“no, actually, i don’t know that.” you shake your head before leaning over to peek at the entrance of the cafeteria doors again “he’s never explicitly stated that he likes me back so i can’t just go around-“

“he doesn’t need to tell you! he- he literally spooned you in the middle of class aND he made me give up being your partner for the presentation so that he could be your partner instead.” jimin raises a brow when you look back at him

“…and your point is?”

he groans quietly and rolls his eyes

how can someone so smart be so stupid at the same time

here’s what’s happening

you think you’re finally going to do something about your feelings for yoongi (gross)

and the thing is, you actually weren’t planning on doing anything today because you like to plan things out in advance but somehoW jimin convinced you that this would be a good idea

anyways

you’re going to ask yoongi if he’d like to join you (and jimin) for lunch!

it’s not a big step but at least it’s somEthing

and it’s not like asking him to sit with you at lunch is you professing your undying love for him

it’s just lunch!

maybe if you’re lucky, when he sits down next to you, you can scooch in closer so that the side of your leg is touching the side of his leg

and if you’re extra lucky, maybe he won’t move away from you when you do that

:’)

you perk up when you see yoongi step into the cafeteria and your heart skips a beat when the two of you make eye contact for a brief second before he’s looking away and joining the line

alrighty

that’s your cue!

“alright-“ you slide out of the booth and wipe your clammy hands on the back of your jeans “wish me luck!”

jimin shoots you a thumbs up before reaching over to steal one of the watermelon cubes out of your fruit cup

okay

this’ll be fine

you’ll be greAt

all you have to do is ask yoongi if he wants to come and sit with you

…but you can’t just ask him without saying hi

so say hi first

you know what

you should’ve practiced this in your head before getting up and leaving the safety of the table

but now it’s too late to turn back because you’re already halfway to yoongi and you can’t just tuRn back because you know he saw you and he’s going to think it’s weird if you stopped and whipped around halfway through your somewhat confident stride towards him

damnit

daMNIT

okAY what are you going to say??

hi yoongi… how are you?

nO no that’s oddly polite

hi yoongi… what are you going to order?

nope not that either

hi yoongi… chemistry, am i right? how are your slides for the presentation coming along? i noticed some of your facts were a bit broad so i made some comments on the side to help-

??? hoW do you steer the conversation from there?? NERD

hi yoongi… what’s up with the meatloaf here?? what’s in this mystery meat?? i guess that’s why they call it a mystery! hAh

…ok that one was just weird

and just as you’re a couple feet away from yoongi, that’s when you notice that he’s not alone

nope

because he’s engaging in what looks like vEry friendly conversation with another girl

“yoongi, cut it out, you dweeb!” she giggles before giving his arm a gentle slap (her hand lingers on his arm for a good three!!! seconds) and yoongi raises his hands in defence

???????

who is this stranger??

who is this stranger and why is she touching yoongi like she’s noT a stranger???

and why isn’t yoongi acting like she’s a stranger???

“what?? i’m just saying!!”

he turns his head slightly and the two of you make eye contact yet agaIn

your eyes widen in panic

oh god

well now you definitely can’t ask him to sit with you at lunch

not when he’s talking to a literal godDESS

god!!! look at her!!!!

her hair is so long and silky and she has that whole ‘is she sexy or is she cute’ vibe going on and woW that eyeliner is impeccable

you look like you have raccoon eyes compared to her eye makeup

…you look like a raccoon compared to her

he’s obviously going to sit with her!!!!!!!

mission abort

MISSION ABORT

you immediately swerve and head towards the vending machine

okay

that didn’t go toO badly right

was your swerve smooth?

hopefully it seemed like it was a natural movement to suddenly make a JAGGED turn to the right

you know what

this is a sign

you and yoongi are not supposed to be a thing and that was a sign directly from God himself

you feel your face heating up a little when another realisation hits you

you thought yoongi liked you back and it seems that he doesn’t… and even if he did like you back, you waited too long to do something about it and he’s obviously moved on  

suRe, you’ve been going around saying that you’re pretty sure yoongi doesn’t like you back and it’s not a big deal because it’s expected, why would he like me? but you only kept saying that because you wanted it to be wrong

you wanted yoongi to prove you wrong

and he moved on because you were taking too frickin long to decide what you wanted to do with him

…and you didn’t even bring any change with you so you can’t even get a bag of chips to make you feel beTTER

“i… i’m sorry, but what the hell was that?” jimin snorts as soon as you take a seat at the table and you clear your throat before shrugging

“an effort was made… and… the result came out inconclusive! so… it’s whatever.”

jimin leans over to the side a little to peek past you at yoongi who just wrapped an arm around whatever-her-name-is’ shoulders

and then he notices yoongi glancing back a little in your direction

hm

…fascinating.

“y/n…” jimin sighs as he sets his fork down, “yoongi likes you. you know he does. everyone knows he does! you’d have to be blind to noT see how into each other you two are.”

“you’re just saying that because you’re my friend.” you sulk as you slump against your arm

“i’m saying that because it’s true, you idiot.” jimin frowns and reaches over to give the top of your head a pat, “use that big brain of yours and think about it!”

okay fine

you’ll use your stupid big brain to think about stupid yoongi and your stupid crush on him

the other week in class you were pretty bummed out because you had forgotten to bring your snack with you and you were looking forward to it all day (you slathered some strawberry jam on some crackers and made little sandwiches) and after you briefly mentioned it to yoongi (after he asked u ‘what’s a saD girl like u doing in a sad place like this’) he went quiet for a second or two before picking up his backpack and leavinG the lab

and you were very confused because class was literally starting and he just walked out like it was no big deal

you were about to get up and chase after him to bring him back but once the professor started the lecture you were pretty much bolted down to your stool

when he came back ten minutes later (thankfully the professor was playing a video for the class so yoongi was able to sneak in without being noticed) you were very surprised when he plopped a crumpled up wad of napkins(??) in front of you

“thank you for the… garbage?” you whisper as you use the back of your pencil to poke at it

“open it up.” yoongi points to the top of it and- oH okay it’s like a little parcel of some kind

it just looked like garbage to you

you reach over to unwrap the parcel and your brows knit together when you-

oOh!!!!! oh!!!!!! crackers!!!! cracker sandwiches with strawberry jam oozing out the sides!!!!!!

“have i ever told you about how much the lunch ladies love me?” yoongi grins and wiggles his eyebrows before pushing the crackers closer to you “bon appétit, m’lady.”

you perk up a little and jimin looks over at you in interest

wait a second

if yoongi didn’t like you back then he probably wouldn’t have gone out of his way just to get you a couple crackers and jam

what else has he done?

in class he always leans over to doodle on your notebook and even when you tell him to cut it out he never does

but is that flirting?

how about when he compliments your scrunchies or your socks or little things like that?

is that flirting or is that just him being nice???

okay

what about this one

how about when he walks you to class and insists you give him a kiss on the cheek as payment?

you immediately shoot straight up from the table and jimin jumps in surprise

jesus chriSt

he didn’t sign up to sit with a jack-in-the-box today

“yoongi likes me!” you gasp and jimin resists the urge to roll his eyes

“look who finally came to their senses-“

yoongi likes you!!

a lot

like a LOT

and you like yoongi a lot too!!!!

so you have no idea why you’re acting the way that you are

part of it is because he’s being kind of flirty with someone else but the other part of it is…

it’s just that you have no idea why every time he brings up the question of ‘so… what are we?’ you immediately panic and sputter out some lame excuse about how you have some work to catch up on but i’ll catch you later!!

oh god

the smile drops from your face

do you have commitment issues??? is that it??

“is it working? do you think it’s working?” yoongi forces a smile on his face to make it seem like he’s still very interested in what lisa is saying and she peeks over his shoulder before shaking her head

“i think your plan was a failure from the start anD i think we should’ve gone with my plan if you really wanted to make her jealous-“

“i’m not gonna make out with you in front of y/n-“

“well, she’s not even paying attention to us anymore. her back’s facing us.”

yoongi whips around so fast that he nearly gives himself whiplash and his shoulders droop when he realises that lisa’s right

damnit

he really thought his plan was going to work!! he thought it was foolproof!!!

obviously not because here he is

looking like a grade A foOL

“you sure you’re okay?” jimin nudges your arm as the two of you throw out your scraps and wrappers

after your whole ‘yoongi likes me!!!’ moment, you were pretty happy for like 3 seconds and then you started spiralling into a whole self-pity ‘i might have commitment issues’ thing which eventually led you back to ‘yoongi could never like someone like me… no wonder he’s off eating lunch with someone else…’ and jimin was fully ready to rip his hair out

one step forward and a miLLion steps back

anyways

you were pretty quiet for the remainder of lunch which wasn’t a huge surprise because you dO have the tendency to get a little mopey when things don’t go your way (but in your defense, who wouldn’t get mopey??)

like one time when you were assigned the topic of comparing and contrasting influential leaders during the WWI era for a history essay when you were really hoping to be assigned the topic of the impact of propaganda

you were so bummed out that you basically just leaned on jimin for the entire period of lunch without saying anything

and now it looks like it’s happening again!!!

you know what

no

you can’t go in circles like this for the rest of your life

this time you’re not just being mopey and pitying yourself

this time you think you’re actually going to do something about the issue (juSt like how you should’ve gone to your prof to fight for that propaganda essay)

you feel ridiculous!!

you can’t go on beating yourself up over something that you can kiNd of control!!!

you know that you wanna be with yoongi officially

you know that there’s a mutual attraction between the two of you

and most importantly you want to be able to call him your boyfriend and not just a classmate that you sometimes flirt with and all-the-times fantasise about holding hands with

you’re finally ready to sit him down and tell him you definitely like him and that you definitely want to be with him and you are noT about to let him slip away this easily!!

seeing him with someone else lit a fire under your ass

…and you know exactly how you’re going to handle this.

to say the least

yoongi is.,,.,..,

concerned

very, very concerned

he hasn’t spoken to you in like three days and he’s pretty sure you’re avoiding him

and he knows this because the other day after you came out of class and saw him standing there waiting for you (like he usually does) you immediately diverted your gaze and attempted to hide behind a bunch of people before disappearing down the opposite end of the hallway

and then when he walked into class to go and sit next to you like he always does he was very surprised to see that jimin had reclaimed his spot next to you

…and if those aren’t signs of you avoiding him/being upset with him he doesn’t know what is!!

if anything he thought the whole lisa plan was going to get you all riled up and jealous which was something that he will openly admit to vEry much wanting to see because let’s be real seeing someone get jealous is always a little hot

but instead it seemed to have upset you and possibly hurt your feelings which was the complete opposite of what yoongi wanted and now he doesn’t know what to DO

usually he’s the one that does the avoiding! whenever he gets into little riffs with girls (most of the time they’re upset about him not texting and/or calling back which he admits is his fault and he could’ve handled those situations more maturely but that’s not the point) all he has to do is like smile at them in class and they immediately forgive him because he has a greAt smile

also usually it’s other people who are trying to make him jealous!!! so it’s pretty weird that hE was the one trying to make someone jealous!!!

he doesn’t like the taste of his own medicine

it’s bitter and he can’t get it out of his mouth

he-

yoongi jumps when his phone buzzes in his back pocket

from: nerdzilla [1:58pm] - Yoongi, can you come to lecture hall A in the maple building right now?

huh

okay

it looks like you’re no longer avoiding him which he supposes is a good sign

…but nothing good can ever happen in a lecture hall

“there you are! i was worried you got lost.” you smile lightly as yoongi steps into the lecture hall looking very out of place

“what’s… uh, what’s going on?” yoongi raises a brow as he makes his way down the steps

“take a seat and it’ll all make sense soon.” you gesture for him to sit near the front before turning to make sure everything’s hooked up and ready to go

yoongi lets out a sigh as he plops down in one of the seats

a moment of silence goes by before he decides that he should probably be the first one to speak up and at least trY to smooth things over

but before he even opens his mouth you’ve already dimmed the lights in the auditorium anD attached a mini microphone to your sweater

you clear your throat before stepping forward a little bit

“i’m y/n y/l/n, my student number is 10120200, and today i will be discussing the neurobiology behind the complicated mask of romantic attraction.” you swallow your nerves after introducing the presentation before clicking to the next slide

what in the world

what is happening

yoongi looks around at the empty auditorium before looking back at you

he still doesn’t know if you’re mad or upset or mupset and if this is just how you process your emotions but maybe he’ll just sit back and relax for now

“now, in order to understand brain chemistry, we need to understand the different chemicals that are involved in the process of romantic attraction. there are four hormones that are important when it comes to understanding love - cortisol, dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin. we’ve actually discussed these hormones in class, so if i, say, asked you what cortisol is, you would say…” you trail off and turn to face yoongi and he immediately straightens up

uh

he didn’t think he’d be teSted during whatever the hell this is but okay

you reviewed all of these terms with him for the last quiz so you’d be more than disappointed if he’d already forgotten about them

“if you asked me what cortisol was, i would say…” yoongi narrows his eyes slightly before pursing his lips

why is he sweating all of a sudden

he’s nervous

why does he feel like he’s in cLASS

this ain’t right!!! this was a trick!!!!

“cortisol.” yoongi mumbles as his fingers drum anxiously against his kneecap, “court-isol… courting a mate… courting someone can be stressful- ooh, cortisol is the steroid that is released when we’re stressed!” yoongi claps his hands together and grins widely when you nod proudly before turning back to look at the slide

hAH

he’s still got it

“so, in short - cortisol is a stress hormone, dopamine seeks out pleasure, norepinephrine makes you highly excitable, and serotonin is a mood stabiliser. when you’ve got a crush on someone, your serotonin drops as your cortisol levels increase, which then makes your brain pump out dopamine, which produces norepinephrine.” you turn to look at yoongi to make sure he’s still paying attention and he now looks moRe lost than he was before “do you get it?”

“i… can you repeat that? but in a completely different way? and with different words? significantly easier, simpler words?”

“i mean… i thought i’d already explained it in pretty simple terms-“

“in whAT universe was that simple???”

“okay, what about this- basically, when you’re in the process of falling for someone, all of the hormones that make you anxious and energetic are super duper high while the one that keeps you stable is super duper low.”  

“thank you. you should know by now that you have to explain things to me like that.” yoongi snorts before leaning back against the chair and kicking his legs back up and flicking his wrist “alright, you have my permission to carry on.”

you roll your eyes playfully before turning back to face the screen  

“there are approximately twenty commonly-reported thoughts, feelings, and behaviours that are associated with falling in love, but in the interest of time, i’m just going to be covering three.”

yoongi (bless his heart) is still trying to figure out what the point of all of this is but is struggling a little because he’s also trying to focus on this presentation of your at the same time

meanwhile, you’re pretty close to pissing yourself on stage because you’ve never confessed your feelings for anyone before and you hate that you can’t decipher the meaning behind yoongi’s poker face

is he playing along??? is he just letting you go through with this presentation even though he already knows what you’re hinting at???

or is he actually confused and has nO idea what he’s doing here??? does he think you’re wasting his precious time????

“number one: intrusive thinking.” you interrupt your internal ramble as you switch to the next slide, “when we’re in the process of falling for someone, our levels of serotonin drop significantly.” you pause and whip around to face yoongi, "remind me again what serotonin is?”  

yoongi’s eyes widen slightly

uh-oh

he’s being put on the spot agaIN??

god

is it too late to drop out of this class?????

“uh… can i get a pass on this one?”

you frown

u literally just said what serotonin was like three seconds ago

he’s so bad at listening!!!! no wonder he needs your help all the time!!!

“serotonin is a mood stabilizer, so it makes you feel…“

“calm!!! and in control!!! and- and stabilized!!” yoongi spRings up from his seat with a raised hand before bouncing up and down

“there we go.” you smile lightly when yoongi gives himself a pat on the back

he’s so cute when he’s proud of himself :-(

“anyways - serotonin stops the triggering of obsessive-compulsive behaviour. however, when the level of dopamine is larger than the level of serotonin, that means you don’t have as much control over your obsessive thoughts and behaviours, which is why when you… have a crush on someone, they’re on your mind all the time.” you clear your throat when you feel a little tickle at the back of your throat

it’s almost like your body is rejecting the idea of u telling yoongi u like him and trying to tell you to sTOP STOP STOP but it’s waaaay too late to stop now

“you find yourself checking your phone all the time to see if they texted you back. when you get an assignment back, your first thought isn’t ‘hey, i did a good job!’ like it usually is, and instead it’s ‘hey, i wonder if they did a good job too!’. they’re the first thing you think about when you wake up and the last thing you think about before you fall asleep. and it’s… weird, having this person take up so much space in your mind, it’s like… thinking about not thinking about them makes you think about them even more?”

“…thinking about not thinking about them makes you… ah, okay, i understand. got it!” yoongi shoots you a uncharacteristically dorky double thumbs up and you can’t help but snort

“number two: a change in priorities.” you click to the next slide

maybe it’s a good thing that yoongi hasn’t caught on yet

you’re actually starting to enjoy giving this presentation even if it’s not for marks and doesn’t count towards any of your grades whatsoever

“the active hormone in this case would be dopamine. which is…?” you turn to look at yoongi and the smile immediately drops from his face

have you not learned that he is incapable of answering questions on the spot like this???

“dopamine… makes you… feel dope. therefore… dopamine… is… it makes you feel… good…”

okay you’re going to be here all afternoon if you keep picking on yoongi like this

“how about you just…sit back and relax?” you offer yoongi a sheepish smile, “i promise i won’t ask you any more questions.”

yoongi’s shoulders visibly droop and he lets out a breath of relief before leaning back against the seat  

thank GOD because he’s really not sure how much more information he can pull out of his ass

“so, dopamine makes you seek out pleasure-“

“which is basically what i said-“

“as i implied earlier, a spike in dopamine is involved with having intrusive thoughts. a change in priorities has a lot to do with this spike, because you’ll try pretty much anything to get to the reward that can bring you pleasure - obviously this reward i’m talking about is the person i’m crushing- i- i mean, the person that you- the person that one has a crush on.” you stammer before reaching up to scratch the back of your neck

ooh boy

we’re falling off the rails a little here

yoongi raises a brow

he’s never seen you get so twitchy before

especially not when you’re giving presentations because you literally live laugh loVE to give presentations

last week you showed him a presentation of all the things you ate over the weekend and it was actually surprisingly informative and entertaining

“um… so… right! a change in priorities. for example, even if you hated something like skateboarding - and i’m talking really, reaLLy hated - you might suddenly be super cool with giving it a go!” you shrug before unconsciously brushing your fingers over your scratched up elbows that resulted from yoongi trying to teach you how to skateboard a couple weeks ago  

yoongi’s brows knit together in deep thought as the gears click-click-click away in his head

why are you giving this presentation in the first place? what’s the whole purpose of it? why this subject in particular? how come no one else is here with-

yoongi perks up in his seat when it hits him

oh

oh

suddenly every single detail about this peculiar situation rushes over him like a tidal wave

…the neurobiology behind the complicated mask of romantic attraction…

…what is cortisol?? cortisol is a stress hormone that is released when ur courting a mate…

…’hey, i wonder if they did a good job!’ instead of ’hey, i did a good job!’…

…really, really hate skateboarding… suddenly willing to give it a go…  

“-and finally, having an intense increase in energy!” yoongi snaps out of his whirlpool of thoughts when you suddenly clap your hands together, “dopamine - which, hopefully you’ll remember increases when you feel desire and arousal for someone - produces norepinephrine, which is the hormone associated with feelings of excessive energy and restlessness!”

you start pacing around on the stage with your hands on your hips

“like, usually you have a pretty good sleep schedule of 9pm to 7am, but suddenly, all because of this person, you suddenly have the ability to stay up for the entire night thinking about him a-and his stupid face and the fact that he has you wrapped around his pinky finger and somEhow you’re still able to survive the next day without crashing and burning!”

a smirk slowly begins to form at yoongi’s lips when he finally processes what exactly is happening

maybe his lisa plan worked after all

you like him

this is you telling him that you like him and you know what he has to give you a little more credit for using your skills to your advantage

look at you and your cute little ‘i love you’ presentation!!!!

adorable!!!!

just as he’s about to get up and interrupt your vEry passionate rant about how important it is to get a solid eight hours of sleep a night, the projector suddenly glitches and the screen goes black

“one night, i only got like three hours of sleep but what i’m tryINg to say is that-“ your neck nearly snaps from how quickly your head whips around when the screen flickers to black

oh shooT

out of all the times for the damn projector to glitch!!!!!

just as you were about to reach your conclusion!!!!!

fRICK

“sorry, give me a second.” you hold a finger up before jogging over to the little desk where your laptop is  

this is why you hate all this bluetooth apple TV nonsense

the projectors always disconnect at the worst times

it’s just not a reliable way to present something!!

it takes a couple seconds for the projector to catch up to your laptop but when you see the concluding slide pop up on the screen you let out a sigh of relief

ok

maybe you should stop talking about your sleep schedule and just jump straight into the conclusion because you honestly don’t even know what you’re talking about anymore

see!!!! look what yoongi’s done to you!!!!!

you’re usually very good at improvising presentations and now you’re just shooting blanks!!!

whatever

just present your danG conclusion and get this over with u dummy

“in conclusion, the neurobiological process behind romantic attraction is quite evident wh- oh!”

the moment you whip around you don’t even get a chance to be surprised at the fact that yoongi is standing right behind you because the next thing you know he’s pulling you in for a kiss

as soon as his lips press against yours, your mind immediately goes blank and all you can hear is pure white noise (which you’re pretty sure is just your laptop fan whirring because it’s about to run out of battery)

yoongi reaches up to take your chin in between his thumb and pointer finger before tilting his head slightly to deepen the kiss when your hands suddenly grip at his hoodie

at first he wasn’t just going to throw himself at you like this but honestly you guys have played this game for far too long

and he’s wanted to kiss u for so long

unsurprisingly, you’re the first one who pulls away (yoongi would 110% spend the rest of the day making out with you on stage if it were up to him) and yoongi swipes his tongue over his bottom lip when he sees how flushed your cheeks have gotten and how swollen your lips are

all that from a little bit of kissing?

…goD that’s so frickin cute

“you-“ your voice cracks slightly and he can’t help but grin because it hits him that the only thing that can make you stutter like this is hiM- “i wasn’t- i wasn’t done with- with my conclusion.” you whisper

wha-

huh

okay

out of all the responses in the world he definitely wasn’t expecting that

well, that’s not true

as he’s mentioned before, you are very passionate about your presentations so maybe he should’ve expected this

“oh! uh, yeah, i’m sorry-“ yoongi quickly takes a step back and raises his hands in defence “sorry. what were you saying?”

you turn away so that your back faces yoongi and you mouth a silent ‘oH MY GOD-‘ to yourself

oh my god

oh my GOD!!!!!

oh myg od????

omg

like u literally don’t know what else to say besides oh my god

no thoughts head empty

“in conclusion, the neurobiological process behind romantic attraction is quite evident when i’m talking about the way that i feel… about… well, about you.” you spin back around to face yoongi and feel your heart skip a beat when he smiles widely before bursting into laughter

what the-

why is he laughing??????

that was supposed to be a sweet moment????

that was supposed to be the part in the movie where the audience goes ‘awww’!!!!!!

so what the heLL is he hee-hawing aboUT

“i’m sorry, i just-“ yoongi covers a hand over his mouth and lets out a snort, “i cannot believe how much i like you-“

“oh, well, great! that makes me feel sO good about myself-“ you feel your face grow red as you throw your hands up in the air

“no, no, not like that! i-“ yoongi wipes a tear from his eye as he makes his way towards you, “you… you’re a dork, y/n y/l/n. you know that?”

“…every time you open your mouth to speak i begin to like you less and less-“

“you’re the biggest dork on this planet and i am so, utterly, obsessed with you.”

oh

…to be honest that was like an insult and a compliment wrapped into one so you’re not quite sure how to interpret it buT-

“so you… like me back?” your stomach flutters when yoongi places his hands on your waist to pull you in

“of course i like you back!” he reaches up to flick your forehead and you immediately let out a yelp, “god, i thought you were supposed to the smarter one out of the two of us-!“

he pauses to give u a little kiss on your forehead because he might have flicked u harder than intended

“and can i just say… i love it when you talk nerdy to me.”

“oh, god, get awaY from me-“ you immediately let out a groan before rolling your eyes

he’s so annOYING

“aw, come on! what’s the matter?” yoongi laughs when you shove him off and turn away from him “i’m hot for teacher-“ he growls playfully as he grabs your hips from behind before pulling you back in towards him

“you are the absolute worsT-“ you whine as you feel your back bump against his front

his arms slink around your waist as he props his chin up on your shoulder “i don’t know about you but mY serotonin levels are like, bouncing off the walls right now-“

“that doesn’t even make any sense, yoongi! it’s like you weren’t even paying attention to anything i was saying at aLL-“

“sure i was! i paid enough attention to know about how much you loooOooOOVe mE-“

and for the record

yoongi will be more than happy to attend any of your future presentations if it means he gets to kiss you at the end of each one

:-)

help me help you make your wishes come tru (aka send me a request)

requested drabbles masterlist

[dingoat]

[I mulled over a few possible options for this one, heh, but after some chatter with @cinlat I realised I could mush some of my ancient Ahuska backstory with half baked future plans with vague species lore/headcanons and string it along into something roughly story-shaped. The whole thing wound up a lot more somber than I’d anticipated, but at least I can always count on Crow to soften the mood!] ---

For the better part of three weeks, she’d been dwelling. What had started out as the most unexpected news conceivable had led to a flurry of unanswerable questions; was the news welcome? Was she excited? Did she care? Did she want anything to do with it? But that had all rapidly died down into a sullen simmering of nerves, as Ahuska struggled with something she genuinely never thought she’d have to face.

She had a family. She’d been raised well, and loved, as far back as she could properly remember. Did she really want to go back further, did she need to know anything about where she’d come from? The thought of being connected to Bothawui in any way made her feel ill, but Crow had gently reminded her, over and over, that this changed nothing.

She was Mando’ad, where family is built on more than bloodline, and having surviving relatives from a life she couldn’t even recall changed nothing.

Having a twin brother changed nothing.

Except that it clearly meant something to… him. And the older one. Two brothers, with families of their own, who’d reached out to find the sister they’d thought they’d lost with their parents. She wasn’t sure she wanted to know them, but…

“Crow?” Ahuska tapped his arm with a single hesitant finger, but he’d already turned to seek her out. They were more in tune with one another than ever.

“Mmm?”

“I think I… I want you to meet my family,” she mumbled, eyes slipping to the side.

Crow grinned his softer grin. “Ahhh, I think we’ve already been through that part of the relationship. Was a couple years ago now, at least?”

She felt her ears grow warm, but her eyes turned back to him. “With me, I mean. I want you to come with me to… meet the family I haven’t met yet. I don’t know if I even want to call them that yet, I guess, I doubt they’ll want to either once they’ve met me…”

“Oh, psshh,” Crow made to wave away her worry with a flick of his hand. “You said the whole reason they found out you existed was from holos of the business down at the Ve’lora place, right? Not like they haven’t already got some sort of clue about the life you live, and they still reached out.”

“It already feels so weird, though. They’ve known about me… all their lives. They… knew me, a-and mourned me? They missed me, and I’ve just never known… it’s like they’re strangers, who call me a sister. It’s fethin’ weird.”

“I know, I know. And if they’ve got half a brain between them they’ll realise that too. All you gotta do is meet them, say hi to them and their… uh, heh. Hey. What are baby bothans called, anyway?”

“Huh? What, I… I don’t think he told me any of their names, I don’t even know how many kids he said they each had…”

“What? No, I meant like… y’know. Do you call them… uhhh, like how little cathar are kits, and…”

Every one of Ahuska’s nerves abruptly vanished, and the series of blinks followed by a hard stare made Crow immediately realise he’d made one of those mistakes.

“Sorry, sorry, I just figured…”

“Babies,” Ahuska said, her tone completely flat. “Baby bothans are babies. Not cubs, not fawns, not kits…” her snout wrinkled a little at that.

Crow’s manner was meek, but the way he squinted at her made it clear he was still trying to work out where exactly the problem lay. “Okay but… don’t… wouldn’t there be some word you use for them…?”

“What, like ik’aad?”

“Yeah, exactly!” Crow brightened as Ahuska offered the comparison, then immediately ducked his head as her expression grew harder still.

“Like ik’aad. The Mando’a word that literally translates to ‘baby’?”

Crow’s grin wavered, sensing a trap. “Ye-es…?”

“Not likaya? Not pe’ninr?” Ahuska continued to watch Crow carefully as she offered the Mando’a for kitten and puppy.

“Well. No. Of course-”

“Of course not!” Ahuska snapped over the top of him, with an emphatic gesture of both hands to drive her point. “Likaya literally means baby cat. Not baby person. Not baby human, or bothan, or even cathar, it’s the word you use for a little cute wobbly baby animal that meows before it opens its eyes. You wouldn’t call some random Mando kid likaya if we were talking in Mando’a, would you…?”

“I… guess not…” To the unfamiliar, it would look as though Crow were simply still grinning, but Ahuska knew the way it’s quality shifted that he was in fact frowning on the inside.

Ahuska took a slow breath, pinching the bridge of her snout. “And just the same, the bothese for ‘baby cat’ and ‘baby person’ are two totally different words. One translates to kitten, in basic, and the other to baby. Just baby. There’s nothing fancy, nothing cute about it, grown-ass men and women aren’t bucks and does or stallions or vixens, and I’d be willing to bet that there’s a good chunk of cathar out there who hate the way the better part of the galaxy pretends their own native words for their kids translate to ‘baby cat’---!!”

Despite her efforts to calm herself, Ahuska’s pitch and volume had rapidly increased, her gestures had grown more emphatic, and her attitude was positively simmering. Crow didn’t even need to tune into the beat of her heart to know he’d struck a hard nerve, but he wasn’t exactly sure how to handle it.

“Okay, okay,” he said quickly, lifting his hands in an effort to make it clear he was willing to concede. The crease of his forehead knit a little deeper. “I just would’ve thought, of all people, you might… find it kind of cute, at least? Like the way Nines…”

She shot him a look that made him shut up quick smart, then immediately made a visible effort to cool herself off.

“Let me… try and explain it another way,” she said, speaking slowly, her gaze focused inward. “One time when I was little, nine or ten years or something. I was on a trip with my buire, we had to spend the night in an Imperial settlement. We were checking in to some accommodation, just on the outskirts where it was quiet, and… you know buir’ika was a chadra-fan, right? Well, they had me and her go around to the back somewhere, and wait a while in another building. There was a nerf there, a couple of tauntauns, I think a big old varactyl even... one of the tauns had a fawn so that’s where all my attention was. I thought it was excellent, like, some special treat for me, buir’ika sure acted like it was. Anyway, it was a while later that nuvhu’buir… ah, that’s what I called Jinn, yeah? She came round to where we were with all our stuff, a few extra blankets and things, and we built ourselves a bed right there in the hay and spent the night there. I knew she was mad about something, but she never said why, at least not ever to me. I remember falling asleep hearing her and buir’ika talking really quietly together, and I was wondering why she was so upset. Didn’t make any sense to me at the time, since I thought it was… pretty much the best thing ever. I was too little to get it.”

Crow listened quietly, and when Ahuska paused, he didn’t say a word. He just watched her, offering his full attention, and waited for her to go on.

“They made us sleep in the damned stables. It was years later I looked back and realised that. They probably would’ve let nuvhu’buir stay up in a proper room, but she wouldn’t have anything to do with that. Stables, me and buir’ika, just because of our damn faces. So no. No, I don’t appreciate it when people joke about me going to a vet rather than a doctor, or offer me ‘treats’ for being a ‘good girl’. It’s not cute, it’s gross. And that goes hand in hand with asking if my species have litters, or if our babies are called foals, or if we go into heat. Ugh.” She made an ugly scowl at that. “Rule of thumb? If you wouldn’t ask a Mirialan the same question, it’s probably rude as hell to ask a Bothan. Or, y’know. Literally any other sapient species.”

Flushed, Ahuska found herself glancing off to the side, feeling oddly unburdened to have let it all out, and yet also heavy for having to unload to Crow. She knew he meant nothing by it, that of all the beings in the galaxy his intentions were utterly pure. She’d never forget the way he deflected those stuffy noblewomen on Alderaan that time.

She felt his hand envelope hers. “Did you want me to talk to Nines, and get her to let up a bit on the way she-?”

“Nayc,” Ahuska found the answer came easily, even if she couldn’t quite articulate why. “Not to me, anyway. I want to say it’s different, but it’s probably not, really. I dunno. Just maybe give her a poke if she starts on any other bothans with ‘Puppy’, yeah?” “It used to bother you a lot though, didn’t it?”

Ahuska stared out at nothing for a while.

“Yeah.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“Still sorry.”

His chin came to rest over her head, and she closed her eyes as she let her face rest against the comforting curve of his neck.

“I’m sorry too. Not your fault the galaxy is the way it is. I’m just… a little wound up right now, I think. I’m nervous about this.” “Shhh,” he soothed gently, and she let her face fall against the hand he brought to her cheek. “You don’t need to make an excuse for yourself. I asked you something stupid. Can’t promise I won’t again in the future, but I’ll always be ready to listen to you. Mmkay?” Ahuska found herself nodding against his palm. “‘kay.”

“And I’ll be right there with you, meeting those other relatives of yours. And if they turn out to be bastards? I’ll find a totally not-xenophobic way to give them a piece of my mind.”

She made a little snort, and let her arms wrap around him. “And that’s why I love you.”

[lolies-pixiestyx]

with you//song mingi

pairing: mingi x fem reader

genre: fluff

summary: mingi always finds himself in stupid situations, but it's not so bad when y/n is there for him

words: 1k

—✩

as y/n sat down next to mingi on the couch, sandwiching him between herself and yeosang, and pressed play on 'the ring', mingi timidly reached into his bowl of popcorn and wondered how the hell he ended up here.

which was a stupid thing to wonder because he knew exactly how.

it had all started earlier on in the day, in a typical conversation amongst friends.

this weekend had labeled the 'post-quarantine-socializing-cuddle-fest-extravaganza' (by wooyoung alone, but no one had the heart to tell him how silly it sounded). the plan was for the group of 9 to spend the day together and then have a 'mega super sleepover' (another one of wooyoung's creative works), and catch up on all the physical contact and affection quarantine had starved them of before everyone was forced to return to the working world.

it had been something stupid. it's always something stupid with these people. but this time, someone had happened to call mingi out on his fear of spiders.

he really shouldn't have been offended by it, seeing as more than half of their friend group were also afraid of spiders.

but they made fun of him!!

thats not fair!!

so he told them as much, and was met with an uproar of laughter. somewhere in the hysteria, yeosang had pinched his cheeks and told him he was 'baby', and y/n had not so subtly swatted his hands away. mingi didnt care, their little spats had become something he expected whenever they hung out.

what he hadn't expected, was for his friends, who he loved and trusted, to ask him,

"then you won't mind us watching a horror tonight?"

and mingi was brave! so he built a facade of faux confidence, that just about everyone saw right through, and said "of course not!"

that was how he ended up here.

honestly, it made no sense for him to be scared. he didn't actually see 90% of the movie, too busy either hiding his face in y/n's shoulder, or under his blanket.

that however, did not stop the fear.

after the movie had finished and he had technically sat through the whole thing without screaming or running away, each of his friends gave him a condescending little pat on the back before everyone got ready to go to bed.

the sleeping arrangement... left a lot to be desired, but he was almost glad to be able to distract himself from his newfound fear of 'samara' by complaining about it loudly to anyone who could hear him.

everyone was sleeping on the ground in the living room. which translated to 9 grown-ass humans packed like sardines on the floor of seonghwa and hongjoong's tiny apartment. it was ridiculous.

when seonghwa turned the lights out and everyone started to settle, mingi no longer had a distraction. he kept shifting in his sleep, switching the side he was laying on, kicking off the blanket because it was hot, but then remembering samara and going back to hiding.

this had earned him at least three kicks in the thigh from his sleeping bag neighbors so far. 

he actually managed to doze off for maybe... 15 minutes? It was 3 in the morning after all, and mingi really was tired. but then something in the back of his mind tells him he should check on everyone.

what if samara had taken them away?

a rational, reasonable concern as far as he was concerned. 

so he peeked out from under his blanket, and tried to count the dark, blobby figures around him best he could

he nearly screamed when he came up short. there were supposed to be eight other people, and he could only count six!

where did y/n and hongjoong go???

mingi forced himself to calm down before he panicked. he looked around, and saw light coming from the kitchen.

he decided to investigate. but he's not one of those silly teenaged girls in horror movies, he was going to be prepared!

he wrapped his blanket securely around him as he got up, and pulled san's pillow from under his head, (his back was already able to bend freakishly, what more damage could scoliosis do?) 

now deemimg himself adequately armed, mingi stalked towards the kitchen. he found a figure rummaging in the fridge, and as soon as the fridge door shut back and he had a clear shot, he lobbed the pillow at the figure and turned on the kitchen light to see what he had slain.

he was surprised to see that it was only y/n, who was looking up at him with an exhausted, deadpan expression.

"why?!" she whined, in that high-pitched, squeaky way that y/n does when she's irritated and sleepy

sheepishly, mingi mumbles, "i thought you were samara..."

y/n scoffs, "why are you still up?"

mingi narrows his eyes, "why are you still up?"

y/n raises the glass in her hand, that mingi belatedly realises he must have almost spilled, "i literally, just wanted water."

"what about hongjoong?"

y/n shrugs and slides to sit on the floor and rest against the counter, something that would be potentially gross if seonghwa hadn't forced everyone to help clean up before the tv could be turned on.

"his sleeping bag was empty when i woke up, so i'm not sure. but i assume he's doing work or taxes whatever it is normal functioning adults do."

mingi nods solemnly and sits down next to her, "seems plausible."

y/n wasn't dumb, it was obvious that mingi was skittish and scared from the movie. so, she scooted up next to him, and rested her read on his shoulder. mingi reacted by throwing a corner of the blanket over her.

and they just... talked. about work, the borderline crazy behaviours they were reduced to during quarantine, giggled quietly through hushed whispers of inside jokes spawned from a close knit friendship, eyes drooping as the minutes ticked on

and mingi found himself unable to think past hongjoong's kitchen, past stifled laughter, past the warmth of having another body close to your own, past y/n.

he was safe with her, and he was happy. he couldn't possibly be scared.

he's not even sure when the fell asleep. but that was where their friends found the two of them the next morning. fast asleep, curled up under mingi's blanket on the kitchen floor.

and sure, maybe they had to endure a bit of teasing from their friends, but maybe, just maybe, mingi wouldn't mind suffering through another horror movie if y/n was there and he could hold her close to his chest again.