#it'd be nice to have a separate space where i can just talk freely

[sapsolais]

!

[da-can-draw-stuff]

So happy to come back to Tumblr to see you’re account being active again! Can I ask what’s making/made you anxious about online interactions and is there anything we can do to make posting online comfortable for you again? (I have been following you since early RP days)

Aaah, bless your heart nonny ❤ These kinds of messages mean a lot and are always a pleasure to see.

I was doing pretty well earlier this year, getting stuff done and all, so I guess it was inevitable I'd hit a low.

If you've been around for that long, I should probably give you a unique nickname haha. (Unless I have before? I think I gave one person a nickname before. Still, you'll have to remind me of any convos we've had--it'd be nice to associate anons properly.)

Anyway--I'm trying to be more active at least! But tbh I'm not sure what can be done. These sort of random encouragements/assurances and check ins do help though!

I guess maybe asking me questions or about what I'm working on, make requests--help me build a space to talk about it? I wanted to get back to the old/younger me that was confident and able to share things freely. I'd like to share more, HCs and stories and all, but it's been so long that I frankly don't know how and I end up stuck and holding onto entire series as a result. I've had a few people ask me to turn things into original series or ask if I plan to upload these stories, but how do I actually do that...? ^^"

Not sure about this bottom half since this is technically an art/semi-main blog.

To answer your question about the anxiety...well, I guess it's kind of 'standard' mixed stuff over the years? And I've just gotten...tired and scared and both wanting exposure and yet wanting not to be seen because it's safer. So, I don't really check fandom tags anymore even though I really do want to chat with people.

I became more aware of things I didn't think of before, like image, people looking to pick at things, or whether something like this entire post will get me in trouble with someone somehow/is safe and fine to say/too much info or poor me or something.

So, in a long-winded short summary: There was the emphasis of social media responses in the news, horror stories stemming from online interactions/presences, I came across people acting horribly even though I don't venture much, if it's fine for me to share the less safe content, how much to talk about myself, how much to separate my fan/fun work and my more professional profiles, and it's hard to tell what people are thinking/intending through text and thus harder to trust.

Da is so tired lol. I'm working through it but the last few years have been tough on alll of us, so it's expected that I'll hit this bump in the road from time to time. But it's still much better than before where I pretty much completely withdrew from art and tumblr.