#it's better than my stupid phd program and it's better than living in my hometown indefinitely

[wickedhawtwexler]

i'm almost done with this take home assignment for one of the jobs i'm interviewing for fuck yeahhhh

[sobblestoned]

okay I don’t know how many followers I have that are still in high school but I want them to know: community college is the better option if you don’t have a full ride scholarship to a four year university.

I get a lot of you want to get out of your parents house, that’s why i went to a 4-year university straight out of high school but it’s still cheaper to get an apartment with some friends and go to a community college in your hometown than to pay for a 4-year school with room and board. Most schools make you get a meal plan at their shitty cafeterias that aren’t always open. If you have dietary restrictions (like I do) this can be a HUGE waste of money. Also- living at your parents house (if they aren’t abusive) isn’t the end of the world.

Dorms suck and most schools make you live in them freshman year at least. If you don’t want to pay extra to get a single room, (which sometimes aren’t available even when you’re willing to pay more) you have to share a bedroom with a probable stranger (or more - I had a triple room). You share walls with a ton of other students who won’t respect your sleep or your studies. You’re surrounded by a bunch of 18 year olds finally living on their own and the freedom that comes with it. They’re drunk and loud.

If you went to a shitty public high school like most Americans did, you probably don’t really know what interests you. At a community college, you can take a bunch of classes in different disciplines at the college level to see how you really feel about studying a subject. Once you find your real passion in the years you take to finish your associates, you can apply to a school that has the best program for your interests. For example, if you find you love psychology, you can transfer to the state school with the best psychology department or has the specific program that interests you the most (not all schools have the same majors).

If you’re worried the quality of education is inferior - it’s not. A lot of community college professors have PhDs and regular full time jobs. They teach at the community college in their free time bc they care about teaching the future generations. Community college classes are generally less demanding but they are PLENTY to prepare you for transferring to finish your bachelor’s - with far less stress. Community college professors understand that a lot of their students are working full time and 4 year university professors are less aware of the work responsibilities of their students because most students aren’t working much during the school year.

You save so much money by going to a community college. You may be able to pay as you go if you get a decent gig. I worked as a nanny for 2 months to save up enough to pay for 2 classes (3 credit hours each) but I was lucky bc I live with my parents and I don’t pay rent.

Everyone needs to stop treating community college like it’s just for “stupid” kids or “poor” kids. It’s a better option for most people and they’re being really disrespectful.

[idemandoolong]

Being handsome sucks.

I know, I know. You’re thinking, “Being handsome has no disadvantages. It’s like being rich or white.” Truth is, there are disadvantages to everything. And being a physically attractive man has its disadvantages. Allow me to explain. Just hear me out.

First of them all, let’s be honest. There’s a strong belief among many people that men are dogs. Men are perverts. Men are sex-crazed. So much so that words like “whore” and “slut” are exclusively attributed to women for doing the same exact thing men (allegedly) do. Keeping that in mind, handsome men are even more prone to be thought of as sex-crazed and players and pimps than average or unattractive men are, because the belief is they can get women much more easily. So that’s what they’re doing.

When we see a handsome man, we immediately think, “Oh I bet he has a lot of women after him. I bet he’s juggling five or six women at a time.” Media reinforces this by showing us music videos and movies and television programs with fifty women chasing one man or dancing all over him or entering contests to be with him.

Think about that.

When have you ever in your life seen a woman literally chasing a man? Or following a man around in a store because she thinks he’s hot? Or a man with eight or nine women dancing on him in the club. Either never or practically never, right?  Unless he’s famous. But if he’s not, even handsome men don’t really get this daily level of attention in real life. Only in scripts.

Which brings me to my point.

When people see handsome men, thanks to constant media reinforcement, they believe he actually does have women literally chasing him and competing with 20 other women for his “love.” People who would otherwise like to get to know him then have their guard up and think “Well he’s not going to get me! I’ll show him!”

They’ll reject him if he does show any interest in them.

They’ll be rude to him out of revenge for all the hearts he’s broken…in their imaginations.

They’ll expect any type of interaction he initiates is actually his way of hitting on them…because that’s the only think handsome men think about, right? Sex.

He got in the elevator with you because he wants to have sex with you.

He walked down the same aisle in Wal-Mart as you because he wants to have sex with you.

He’s from the same hometown you’re from because he wants to have sex with you.

Believe it or not…and you’d be wise to believe it…one problem handsome men deal with is potential romantic partners not trusting them. That is, if they even get that far. A lot of times, they’re rejected right out the gate because the perception is “You’re a player.”

Ok, so you may be saying, “Ok, being trusted. That’s ONE downside of being handsome. But there aren’t any other ones.”

And I may be saying “You’re wrong.”

Ok, I am saying that.

So what’s another downside? People expect handsome men to be virtually flawless because that’s how they look.

Now look. EVERYONE judges people based on their physical attributes. We can all sit here and say we don’t, but we do. And I don’t mean facial features. I mean hair, clothing, weight, muscle mass…we take one look at a person’s physical characteristics and are convinced we know things about them without even asking. Think of a time where you knew of somebody that you didn’t speak to for an extended period of time. Then when you did speak to them, you realized most of your assumptions were wrong.

That’s what handsome men deal with on a daily basis. Only thing is it’s impossible for them to live up to people’s assumptions, because no two people on the planet have the same idea of what a perfect person is.

When two people see somebody they both agree is handsome, they’ll automatically attribute traits to him based on their own idea of perfection—and a lot of those traits contradict the other person’s. Person A will think, “Wow. I bet he really likes children, is highly educated, reserved, is socially conscious, has a close relationship with God, is caring, makes a lot of money, and can sing very well.” Person B will think, “Wow. I bet he’s down-to-earth, extroverted, adventurous, dominant, spends lots of time with his romantic partner, loves sports, and is very clean.”

The handsome man can’t be all of those things, because some of them contradict one another. Highly educated and loves sports? That’s very rare. Extroverted and reserved? Psyche! Makes a lot of money and spends lots of time with his romantic partner? Get real! Ok…enough slang from the early 1990s.

What I’m saying is there is absolutely no way this handsome man can meet both these people’s desires, and there’s barely a chance he’ll even meet all their individual ones. But he’s handsome…which means he must…because it’s been drilled into our heads from early childhood that attractive things and people are good, and unattractive things and people are bad. When you’re told something essentially every single day, and it’s reinforced through media, it’s close to impossible to just stop believing it at the drop of a hat.

So what happens when this handsome man does get with a romantic partner? Disappointment. The romantic partner realizes he didn’t get his bachelor’s degree from Harvard, his two master’s from Oxford, and his PhD from MIT. Oh, and he can’t sing. And sometimes he snores. He’s impatient. His handwriting is sloppy. The movies he likes aren’t that great. He called it “a glove department” rather than “a glove compartment.” He doesn’t follow politics. He can’t find Estonia on a map. He slams the door when he leaves. He leaves soap residue on the bottle and doesn’t clean it off. He laughs too hard. His ringtone is so annoying. Oh my god…he’s a normal, regular, average, everyday person with the same flaws and faults as that average-looking guy I turned down. HE TRICKED ME!

Ah, yes. Handsome men are constantly accused of “tricking” people. Tricking people into believing they have these wonderful perfect magical lives where nothing goes wrong and they never make any mistakes. That’s why women who date male celebrities known for their looks are called stupid and dumb for breaking up with them.

“Oh my god?! Why would she divorce him??! She’s crazy! Look at him!”

She divorced him for the same reason everyone else gets a divorce. She wasn’t happy. And I’m not saying she imagined him to be perfect, but the expectations handsome men have thrust on them tend to be much higher than the expectations average and unattractive men have thrust on them. This explains why handsome men tend to get away with bad behavior—it’s figured he must’ve had a good reason to do what he did, because he never does anything wrong. Average and unattractive men don’t have to live up to god-like expectations from people—especially from romantic partners.

They’re allowed to annoyingly slide their feet when they walk. But a handsome man better glide silently or he’s a trickster.

Average and unattractive men are allowed to wait until payday to do something, but handsome men better be able to drop $2,400 easily, every day, all day. Otherwise he’s a fraud.

Average and unattractive men are allowed to miss the point of what you’re saying and only focus on the easiest part to reply to, but handsome men better be able to repeat verbatim what you said. Otherwise he’s a charlatan.

Ok. So what have we covered? Handsome men must overcome the instant player accusation and they must be damn near perfect in every way, even if those ways contradict each other. Then there are the other inconveniences handsome men deal with:

Being stared at in public. Remember how irritated you got when that one person was staring at you? Now imagine it happening pretty much every day and everywhere you go.

People they’re not attracted to not taking “no” for an answer, no matter how polite or rude the handsome man is. You know that person who texts you and never has shit to say? Handsome men are talked to every day by people who don’t have shit to say.

Being flirted with when he’s not in the mood to talk to anyone. You ran into the store to get some batteries right quick, then went back home. It took the handsome man twenty extra minutes because the cashier wouldn’t stop talking to him. He just wanted batteries too, but he has to feign interest in people you walked right by and wouldn’t remember them if you saw them 15 seconds later.

Envious people trying to make his life hard. Most hiring managers are men, and if they think this candidate is handsome...well he won’t get hired because the hiring manager doesn’t want to feel self-conscious every time he sees him. Or if he does get the job, co-workers and supervisors are harder on him to show “You aren’t so great!”

The belief that if a handsome man is kind, it means he’s romantically interested. If he’s unkind, it means he’s conceited. Handsome men aren’t allowed to just be friends with people. They’re not granted that privilege because we’re told they don’t want friends. They want sex.

Loneliness. People don’t trust him and/or they ONLY want to associate with him in hopes of dating him. Nobody is genuinely interested in his well-being. Nobody feels he has real problems and needs help. Nobody texts him in a crisis.

Now you STILL may say this doesn’t seem so bad, but oh…it is. We can all think of times when people said they envied you for some reason, and you thought, “Well it’s not so great, actually.” You pointed out the downsides of whatever it was they wish they had, and they were either surprised…or they denied it. They still told you what you had was perfect, but you insisted it wasn’t. It has its good parts AND bad…but they wouldn’t hear it. It got to the point that you were annoyed at how ignorant and arrogant they were to literally tell you that your experiences are incorrect.

So after reading all this…don’t be that person.