#it's funny that 'went somewhere. bought some things. went on a pretty small ferris wheel. also drove home without any panic after that' is

[running-in-the-dark]

oh my god you guys!! 😭

it's October which means it's time for our local (much smaller) Oktoberfest equivalent

we went there yesterday but only for a few minutes to get me some food. it was long enough for me to be like hmm... I think I'm not scared?

this is usually one of the most terrifying situations for me, it's not exactly panic but just this constant awful feeling of dread while I'm there (which is why I never like going there)

so we went again today, again just with the intention of getting some food. we ended up staying for over an hour, we got food and sweets and I bought two scarves (I've never bought anything like that there because I couldn't talk to the vendors, or even get close enough to look at any of the things really).

we walked past the Ferris wheel and I said 'hey let's go on that now'... I am extremely scared of heights, always have been, it's one of my worst fears (and I have so many of those so that means something). I've been on a Ferris wheel maybe like 5 to 7 times and I panicked and cried every time. I had to stand in front of it, watch for 10 minutes, and really work very hard to convince myself to go on it.

and this time I just.. did it. and I was not scared. not before, during or after. not for a second. it was just 'huh okay this is pretty cool when you're not sobbing actually'.

I can't believe this is real? I can't believe I'm capable of just doing shit now?? this medication is literally the best thing that has ever happened to me 😭😭😭

[exidtotheleft]

Man of your Dreams | 09

Pairing: Taeyong x Reader x Ten Genre: Artist AU\Fluff\Love triangle Summary: Reader is an artist who has been painting a man she’s seen in her dreams for years. When her and her boyfriend Ten decide on a name for him, she begins to believe that maybe, he’s more than someone she just imagined. Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Epilogue

“Where do you want to go first?” Taeyong asked as you passed the corridor to the annual county fair. You looked around you, not familiar with any of the rides or attractions you saw around you. “Well, I don't know. I haven’t been here since I was a child.” “Well what did you do here as a child?” “I remember getting a face painting.” Taeyong rolled his eyes playfully.  “You little artist.” “You know it!” “Why don’t we just walk around and do what we find fun.” “Sounds like a plan.” you agreed.

You and Taeyong took off down the main street and looked around. The first thing you ended up doing was getting some funnel cake because it seemed fitting for the moment. Taeyong insisted that he paid for it. He didn’t even want you touching your wallet.  “Why don’t we go on the ferris wheel? Unless you're scared of heights.” you suggested before taking another bite of your mid-day dessert. “Who...me?” Taeyong asked. “Of course you.” “Whatever you want to do.” “C’mon, you gotta have fun yourself Tae.”

“Tae?” He raised his eyebrows at you. You didn't even plan on making that abbreviation. It just rolled off your tongue effortlessly, you liked it though. “I don’t know why I said that. It suits you though.” He laughed a bit, looking down. “It’s cute.” You continued. Taeyong looked back up at you again, his hands sliding into his jacket pockets. “Are you saying that I’m cute?” he asked, bridging the gap between your two statements. You just shrugged, you couldn't deny that. “Well you are.” you admitted with a small smile before taking another bite of your funnel cake.

“You are too.” he shot back before taking the fork out of your hand and ripping a piece of the desert off with the utensil, taking a bite of it himself. “This is good, good idea.” He informed before sticking the fork back into the cake and walking forward. You watched him walk off for a moment before following after him.  “I didn't say you could have any.” you joked. “Don’t forget who paid for it.” “You should have just gotten your own fork then.” “Eh, you don’t mind.”

“...so are we going to the ferris wheel or not?” you changed the subject suddenly. You didn't know how to respond to the comment. You heard Taeyong chuckle in that low tone of his.  “Sure.” He agreed. Both of you walked to the tall wheel and stood in the short line, finishing the rest of the funnel cake while you waited and threw the plate away. You couldn’t help but notice that Taeyong was standing awfully close to you in line, and he seemed nervous about something.

When the two of you got into the cage for the attraction, you sat across from each other and you noticed that he immediately started to bounce his leg in anxiety. It took you a small moment to connect all this, but he was afraid of heights. That’s what you get for suggesting it to him. “Tae.” you called, getting his attention. He opened his nervous eyes and looked at you.

“What?” “Are you okay?” “Yeah I’m fine. Why do you ask.” That damn confidence of his was speaking. You just smiled, finding this funny. He really wanted you to think he was some perfect man, being afraid of something as harmless as heights would ruin that.  “You seem nervous. You’ve been silent this whole time and almost clinging to me.”  “Really-” he started but was cut off with a gasp when the cage suddenly jerked up. You just smiled more so to yourself as he closed his eyes again. “You’re afraid of heights.” “No.”

“Then open your eyes and sit still.” Taeyong opened his eyes slowly and crossed his arms over his body, hugging his arms tightly then looked at you. He stopped the bouncing of his knee and took a breath. You, however, were less than amused. “It’s okay to be afraid of something.” “But I’m not.” “God, you can be so stubborn. What if I just,” you started before barley standing up so that the enclosed space rocked a little bit.  “Don’t!” He yelled before exhaling, you hadn’t ever heard him raise his voice before. You sat back down. “Okay. I’m scared of heights.”  “Well maybe you’ll get over it after this.” “I doubt one ferris wheel ride will change that.” “You never know. Maybe I can help.” you suggested, leaning forward slowly so you didn't cause any movement, you reached your hands out. “Hold my hands.” The cage was pretty small, your knees would be bumping together if they weren't staggered. So he wouldn't have to move much. He took another deep breath, and the wheel turned again. The new movement caused him to act fast, and he quickly grabbed a hold of your hands, squeezing them for comfort. You couldn't help but smile, you felt a jolt of energy shoot through you as soon as his skin touched yours. You loved him, and you could feel that for a fact in that moment.

“I’m gonna talk to you now, you’re just gonna focus on me and not the wheel.” “...okay.” he said, locking eyes with you.  “I should probably talk about those things i brought up over the phone.” “Yeah, I was gonna ask about that.” “Well, I’ll tell you now.” You sighed, your smile leaving your face slowly. “I went to school yesterday and when I came home, Ten was waiting for me outside. He basically told me that he didn't leave me alone and that he just went to think, but still, I was mad because he came to my door to play the victim.”  “What did he have to go think about?” “Well we got in a big argument before he left.” “What about? You never really told me.” You took a long breath through your nose.

“You.” Taeyong raised his eyebrows and jetted his neck out slighting.  “Me?” “Yes.” “Why?” “Ten doesn’t like you. He doesn't like us, I should say. I told you all this when you drove me home. I just didn’t tell you that you were why he left. He thought that I was falling for you.” Taeyong pressed his lips together, and you knew what was running through his head. You knew he was thinking: ‘well are you?’

“We did break up.” you concluded, keeping eye contact with the man just a foot away from you. You felt Taeyong move his hands, changing the grip on them. Rather then you holding on by only your fingers, Taeyong turned your hands and laced your fingers together in a more romantic grip.  “Did you do it for me?” He asked in a hushed tone. You parted your lips before a second before speaking.

“I did it for myself first off, but, you did cross my mind after.” Taeyong smiled faintly and looked away from you, but you could tell he regretted it, you were at the top of the wheel now. He looked back you immediately after the height he was at processed. You felt his grip on you get tighter.  “I didn't notice how high up we were.” “It’s because you were focused on me. Things aren’t as scary if you can distract yourself. Focus on me again.”

“That should be easy.” he flirted, you giggled a bit.  “I’m glad you came into my life. I’m glad that you weren't just another customer in the coffee shop and that you took interest in me. If I hadn’t gotten to know you, I would be totally wrecked right now. Probably sitting alone at home with ice cream watching 50 Shades of Grey wrecked.” He laughed at that.

“If I saved you from that kind of misery, I’m just as glad that I met you too.” You smiled at you before looking down at your hands, his grip on you had softened, but now you held on to each other with more feeling than just for comfort. “I told you we were lovers in a past life.” you looked away and smiled, giggling to yourself.  “Maybe we’ll be lovers in more than just a past life.”  “I'd like that.” he accepted. After he said that, the wheel moved again, placing you two at the bottom. The doors to the cage were opened and you two left the ride, keeping one of your hands intertwined as you walked back out onto the main street of the fair.

You spent the rest of the day checking out various stands and going on and off the rides with the shortest lines. Somewhere along the way while you were distracted with something, Taeyong went behind your back to a jewelry stand and bought you a necklace. It of course wasn’t some sterling silver and gold piece because of where he had purchased it, but it was still beautiful and suited you perfectly. It had a swan on the chain. Just the silhouette of one on the water with a small manufactured diamond for an eye.

“Taeyong, you didn’t have to do this!” You complained as he put it around your neck and pulled your hair out of the chain. “Well I wanted to.” you rolled your eyes and smiled as he walked back from behind you. “Thank you.” you said as you held onto the bird shaped charm. “No problem.”

You two were on your way home now. You had stayed pretty late, it was closing in on ten p.m. and you were just getting inside of Taeyong’s car. “Is there anything else you want to do?” “No,” you shook your head and looked at him. “It’s late, we both need to sleep.” “Alright, I’ll take you home then.” he agreed before turning on his car and making his way out of the parking lot.

“I hope you enjoyed yourself.” “Of course I did. I hope I helped you with your little fear.” Taeyong chuckled. “I’ll definitely think about that moment any time I’m high up. Which, will probably help. You said to distract myself right?” “Yep.” “That’s what that would do.” “Glad I could help.” it went quiet for a moment after that, but you broke the silence again “Thank you for everything today. This helped.” “Anything for you.” “You really do so much for me and we just recently met. It’s amazing.”  “Past lives, remember?”  “Yeah, of course.” you said while rolling your eyes. It stung you a bit, those past lives comments because you knew they weren't true. You wanted to tell him everything, about why you seemed to know each other so well. But you were too afraid that it wouldn't go over well. Whether he would think you were crazy or if it would damage him in someway to have that knowledge. You didn't know what to expect.

The fair wasn’t too far from both of your resident neighborhoods, so it didn’t take long at all for Taeyong to pull into your driveway, and once again, just like the other night, you hesitated to leave. You sat there for a moment before looking at the driver. “I’ll see you later.” he dismissed, you nodded at him. “Yeah, of course.” You looked at him for a moment longer before turning and grabbing the door handle. You opened the door slowly and planted your feet on the ground, but you didn't fully get out before turning around to face him again.

“Do you want to stay the night?” You asked, underestimating the gravity of your statement. Taeyong raised his eyebrows and parted his lips, looking a bit surprised.  “What do you mean?” “Just...to spend more time together. Where it’s...quieter.” you suggested, beginning to regret making this proposition. “You don’t have to.” you tried to retract. “No, I want to.” he agreed, taking the keys out of his car and shoving them into his pocket.

With that, you stood up out of his car and shut the door behind you. He followed you up onto your patio and you unlocked the door, walking in and shutting the door behind both of you.  “I thought you said you were tired?” Taeyong asked, a bit of a smirk on his face. “I am.” you said simply before walking past him into your small kitchen. “Do you want anything? A drink maybe?” “What do you have?” “Well, I have some wine actually.” you informed and looked back at him, knowing that he was probably in disbelief of what you were suggesting. “Just to spend time where it’s quieter huh?” “Did I suggest anything?” “You’re offering me alcohol.” “We’ll only do something stupid if we drink too much.” Taeyong sighed through his nose and rolled his eyes. He flopped down on your couch and crossed his legs.

“Go ahead.” He allowed. You turned back to the fridge and pulled the bottle of red wine you had in the bottom drawer out. It was given to you as a gift a while back, though you didn’t remember for what. Seeing that it was wine though, you assumed it was probably an anniversary gift, how ironic.

You grabbed some wine glasses and walked to the couch. You placed the wine and glasses on the coffee table that was next to you. You poured him a glass along with yourself and you put the bottle down and picked up your glass. “To new beginnings.” you said, holding it up with a smile which he returned and you tapped the rims of of your glasses together.

The two of you just drank and talked for what felt like an eternity. You hadn’t planned on drinking too much, but you were both too caught up in the moment and in each other that after an hour and a half of each other’s company, you had emptied the bottle and you were both reasonable tipsy. You could feel your judgement get a bit clouded, but you were sober enough to control yourself. You turned around and looked at the clock on your microwave.

“Tae...it’s midnight.” “Not yet, we have 30 more minutes till then.” “Close enough.” you waved off, turning back around. You were both a bit closer to each other than you had been when you first started drinking. “I’m tired.” you announced, feeling the urge to rest your head on his shoulder.  “We should sleep then.” Taeyong suggested.  “Yeah.” you agreed, slowly standing up, not wanting to fall over from the rush of blood to your head mixed with the toxin of the wine. “Come on.” you invited. Taeyong furrowed his eyebrows.

“Come where?” “Come sleep with me.” “You really are drunk.” “Not like that! Just...come with me.” you insisted, bending down and pulling at his arm. He complied and stood up, you lead him off to your bedroom, stopping when you got to the door. “Wait.” you turned to face him. “Wait here I need to change.”  “Go ahead.” he said before leaning on the hallway wall behind him.

You quickly shut the door behind you and changed out of your day clothes and into some sweatpants with a T-shirt. “Okay.” you said as you opened the door him. “All clear.” you joked as you stepped away from the door. Taeyong walked inside and looked around. You shut the door behind him. There wasn't much more than a bed and your night stands, and the room was lit by your dim lamp.

“You know I’m not gonna sleep in my jeans right?” Taeyong asked as you sat down on your side of the bed. It wasn't a large bed but it could fit two people.

“I didn’t expect you to…” Taeyong took his bomber jacket off as you answered his question. You watched him as he did, averting your gaze when he looked down at you. Maybe it was the alcohol, but you could have sworn you heard him chuckle. “I’ll just look away, do what you need to.” You said as you put your face in your hands. “That’s a dangerous request.” “Yeah but I trust you.” in reality you knew he wouldn't do more than you wanted because you could stop him with a single twitch of your mind. “You’re lucky I’m trustworthy then.” he said through the ruffling of clothing he was removing.

Before he could tell you to take your hands away, you felt weight on the other end of the bed. Knowing that it was him, you dropped your hands into your lap and turned your head to face him. He was already under your comforters with his hands crossed behind his head. “That didn’t take long.” you said as you joined him under the comforters.  “It didn’t have to.” he said simply.

You laid down and faced him. He took his hands out from under his head and turned on his side to face you. “I’m glad you invited me.” he admitted in his low raspy tone. It sounded even huskier with the mixture of alcohol and exhaustion in his tone. It felt like it could just cut straight through you.

Taeyong took his hands and slid them around the small of your back, one slipping under your side. He pulled you closer and you let him. Your hands landed on his chest. “I’m glad you agreed to come.” you replied in a hushed tone. He smiled at you, and you thought for sure this was the moment he would finally kiss you, the way he almost had a few nights ago. But, he didn’t he instead reached over you and pulled the metal string on your desk lamp, turning it off before going back to his original position.

“Good night.”

“Good night.” Only you knew you would be seeing him again soon.

[grgop]

Budapest: The grand tour (part 1)

Alright, here comes part 1 and the most active day so far. I hope you will like it, at least the photos. I'm going to describe the places I visited with my friend (and many thanks again for guiding me and being an awesome host), what to see, where to eat and have a good time there.

First things first - the hairdresser

Okay, this sounds probably strange but I was postponing going to the hairdresser in Vienna until I came to Budapest. The reason is that it costs simply normal in Budapest (for the men with washing it's € 6 which is the same like in Croatia). I didn't want to pay 12-15 Euros in Vienna for the same thing nor I had time to wait until Zagreb two weeks later. And hey - it sounds much more interesting to do it somewhere else. My first 'foreign' haircut. Luckily for me, the Hairdresser saloon was right close to me so I didn't have to walk a lot. The name of the place is Bio Hair Hajvágószalon and it's in Mester u. 1, 109. It's a big place and I didn't have to wait too long. My friend went with me there since she spoke a bit Hungarian and they didn't speak English (or didn't want maybe? ) just to make sure everything's fine. Then I survived on my own. The woman that was about to cut my hair didn't speak English apparently but we somehow managed to understand each other and I was happy that I was not bald in the end. And then she put so much gel that I looked like Istvan Varga.

Now back to the apartment. We all woke up around 10h so it was already 11h when I came back, had some breakfast and then packed the stuff to go! I put my analog camera, a few chocolates and the USE-IT map in the backpack. Ready to go!

Along the Danube to the Central Market Hall

Our first thing on the list to do was to go to the Petofi bridge nearby and then head to the north along the Danube. Now the things were starting to get more interesting since we were moving slowly to the center and you could enjoy the walk, especially when reaching the second bridge (The Liberty Bridge). We passed through the Nehru part and stopped by the Shopping Center Balna Budapest which has an interesting architecture (maybe not fitting into the surroundings of old residential quarter but still... ). There we stopped to see what's on the other side of the river.

On the other side there you could see the huge theater building, old architecture. And I may add quickly a few differences with Vienna. As you will soon see Budapest is unlike Vienna directly on the Danube river. And the river in Budapest is very broad - around 340 m between the two sides. In Vienna the situation is though a bit different where the river splits into two main and third part that goes through almost throw the center, and between the first two main splits there is an island and another one much much bigger where people also live and it's kind of modern Business center with skyscrapers. Here in Budapest it's different. On the left side of the river bank (to the west) there was the city of Buda and on the right was Pest, now together they make Budapest.

On the right to the Theater and the Liberty bridge there was a hill called Gellert. We'll be climbing on it where you'll get the panoramic view of the Budapest. But first you have to survive my text by that part.; -) We continued forward and came to the Corvinus MBA Center (Uni) and the famous City Market Hall. Now if you like the old stuff, especially the architecture that makes you feel like being in a Sherlock Holmes movie with the cityscape from the 19th or the beginning of the 20th century - there you are. You're gonna love it. And why I enjoyed walking around Budapest. Old brownish, reddish bricks and the style. This Corvinus school is apparently one of the best world's business school. My friend recommended me to enter the market hall. And good we didn't miss it.

Now this is huge. There are hundreds of people, you can smell meat, cheese, spice and other things we like to find in the kitchen. And there is also a marketplace but mostly with souvenirs, clothing and non-food products available. After passing through the waves of people on the ground level we climbed up the stairs and got into another mass of tourists. What I found funny and a bit strange was that the Hungarians were selling lots of souvenirs related to the Soviet Union; the Russian busby, hammer and sickle, cool old goggles for the motorcycle, helmets and so on. Why strange? You probably know from the history that the Soviet Army occupied Hungary after the World War 2 for practically 45 until 1990s... and there was the Hungarian Revolution (Uprising) in 1956 with a few thousand people killed and wounded. Back to our story. I found something nice that got my attention and bought it for a few euros. It's the cardboard or metal plate with some retro graphics on it. The one I bought is already being put on the wall in Zagreb. If you also love trashy things you can find here something for sure! I must admit it was a break and relaxation for my brain to look at all the stuff there, lots of Kitsch but pleasure to watch.

After the souvenirs we came back downstairs and bought some food. I already mentioned that Hungary and Budapest are ideal if you want to enjoy life for smaller amount of money, much more affordable. I have to say that the food was even cheaper than in Croatia (encountered that only in Serbia before) so I couldn't miss the chance to buy some kilograms of anything for half a euro... while back in Vienna it's more than euro. When you think about it, it's more affordable to go by bus to Budapest (or Bratislava? ) to the hairdresser and buy all the things on the marketplace, you're probably still in the plus with your finance and had an opportunity to travel.

Our next destination was the Gellert hill where we could have a panoramic view and then see what next. Leaving this huge and long market hall on the street that led to the bridge. Around us were again some old tall buildings that reminded me of some films. And the yellow taxis everywhere. Time go to to the other side of Danube!

Over the Liberty Bridge to the Gellert Hill

I think it was already around the noon when we came there. To our left was the old Uni Corvinus building and now the old bridge. It had on its both sides a two meter or more broad pedestrian and cyclists' road. And the bridge was full green, the metal, so there's this wonderful movie feeling again! Right in front of us on the other side you could see the Gellert hill and the citadel on the top covered by the forest. There was also some kind of fortification down the hill.

On our right now was the beautiful view towards the next bridge and with the city in the background. We stopped there to take lots of photos and also jumped on the bridge and some guys copied us. The bridge is also about 360m long.

Once on the other side we passed by the Gellert Thermal Baths and found the path that leads to the top

Gellert Hill, the Citadel and the panoramic view over Budapest

Time to climb up the road. There were several of them, we just followed the others and hoped they know they way. Once we lead the others into the wrong direction. Still no regrets. And every here and there you had a nice view over Pest (the eastern part of Budapest) so we used the opportunity to take some photos again. And of course, after climbing for few minutes we already felt exhausted, too much exercise man! Then found one nice stop before the citadel, now high above the ground and you could see far behind the city, as far as the fog or the clouds allowed you too. Check the pictures. Few more minutes and we were at the citadel. Which was pretty big and long. There were of course lots of people; tourists, the locals and the runners. And the giant statue representing the Liberty. We walked forth to see what's on the other side but not much except for stands/markets where you could buy toys or something to eat and drink. Again there was another view over the city, this time also much of the western part was visible. To the north was the castle we planned to visit, on the other side there were two bridges, the Parliament house relatively far away, the huge Ferris wheel I saw yesterday and now our home seemed a bit far away but still part of the 'center' and the river.

Our next destination was the castle of Buda. We found a zig-zag road that led us to the next bridge and then along the river into direction of the castle.

The castle of Buda

This castle is also a pretty big thing and looks awesome during the night. But we came there around 1pm I think. The first thing I noticed and my friend made me pay attention was that the garden was renovated, as well as some other parts of the complex. The entrance into the garden looks a bit like of some Greek temple. And it must be a popular destination for the young couples to have a wedding, since we were just mocking one that was there (okay, it was me buahaha).

After a few minutes of being a bit lost we found the way to the entrance and the main yard in front of the castle and around it. There were again lots of people and it had a nice view over Pest including the Parliament and other things. There was also a show by the soldiers, but that's the classic thing you see in every city with two guys having fun with the guns and jumping around to amuse the crowds. And a bit of fun fact about the castle: it was the Royal castle of the Hungarian kings first completed back at the beginning of the 13th century, almost 800 years old. Now it's a museum and there are lots of exhibitions within. Unfortunately wasn't free or affordable for us so we headed forward.

Matthias Church, Fisherman's Bastion and back over the river

We headed pass some labyrinth and streets to Szentháromság square where was this Matthias Church located. We didn't enter it nor I know much about it nor we cared haha, I just didn't find anything else to make a title for this part. Next to the church was a small park with a man dressed in the Hungarian historic clothing with the feather on the hat playing an instrument similar to pipes (only the sound). Behind the church to the south was St. Stephen's statue and also an opportunity (that we skipped) to go on some walls and have a cool view. But we had it few meter away. This was related to Fisherman's Bastion. The Parliament was now almost straight in front of us. And I forgot to mention there was a funicular at the Buda castle but we didn't use it (the same exists in Zagreb). We decided to go back on the other side of the river and make a lunch break.

On our way to the road down the hill we gave some money to the guy playing in the parkand again I enjoy a bit seeing the old abandoned buildings, maybe the brick factories... although it probably looks creepy during the night, especially if you would have to enter it... alone.

We came to the Széchenyi Chain Bridge, again an old one (the bridge between Buda Castle and the Citadel was rebuilt completely after being destroyed in the war). At the beginning of the bridge there were big lion statutes since lions are one of the symbols of Hungary. It was now maybe around 2pm or half past 2. We took some photos and headed to eat some food first. Right at the end of the bridge was Four Seasons Hotel Gresham Palace Budapest and to the left Hungarian Academy of Science.

Enjoying the delicious food at the Baotiful bar and restaurant

Since we were now starving and it was lunch time my friend recommended to go to Baotiful restaurant which was on the half of our way to the Parliament.

If you don't know that it exists you might miss it (like I did! ) since it's "blended" into the street. And it's an Asian street fast food restaurant. You have to open the huge doors of something that at first looked like abandonded factory. And it was something in the past. Now the next are the curtains and when you go through them you're in the relatively big or medium size space with cool chairs and table and two guys who are cooking and serving you. The menus are in Hungarian only if I remember. We ordered something that looked like a very good (but maybe smaller) spicy sandwich which in combination with Sriracha ketchup was just like heaven! I know I wanted to eat more but had to save money for other things. I don't remember the name of it but I remember it tasted like paradise.

So yeah, I recommend you to go there, it's a cool cosy place and they offer wonderful food. And maybe try this special sandwich which name I don't know.

Time to go to the Parliament.