That name, Innit– it seems like it was a key.
That key has unlocked a horrible secret that nobody could have dreamed was lurking there all along.
Aster watches, helpless and unable to look away, as Innit is born.
Darkness, loneliness– a beast abandoned in a tiny cage. It has never known the taste of freedom, only the box that it was formed inside.
The parts of himself that he ripped out, Aster thinks, numbly. The admin parts.
Innit breaks free of its cage when Dream begs to be Daz's mentor. It stays inside Daz, just under his skin but not quite fully there, until–
Until Daz is told to accept it. To make himself whole again.
And thus, Innit solidifies.
A mirror image of Daz…at least, at first.
Innit, as it watches Dream and Daz, thinks to itself, If I get my own body, I don't want him to see Tommy. I want to be my own person. A person he loves, a person he needs.
Innit soaks up everything it can about Dream. Over time, it takes on a distinctly feline appearance– not quite like a hybrid, but something unique.
Something it has cobbled together from traits it thinks Dream would like.
Dream; the person Innit has given its heart and loyalty to. Safety-freedom-joy– the only person who knows about it.
If asked, Innit would have gladly laid down its life for Dream.
If that's the case…was it opposed to Daz’s plans?
No, Aster realizes. He sees the scene he saw before– of Daz burying Tubbo.
This time, though, he sees the conversation Daz has with himself.
In Daz’s head, in a cozy room, he sits across the table from Innit.
“We can't forgive this,” Daz says. “I know,” Innit answers.
The only thing we could never forgive. He, of all people, knows how much Tubbo meant to us.
We would have died for Dream, but this…this is an entirely different kind of death.
Aster can feel the raging torrent of grief, the horrific howling of what Innit– and likely Daz as well– consider to be the biggest sin they could commit.
Betrayal. Daz’s actions and hands led to Tubbo's death, and this fact has damned both Daz and Innit to a fate worse than death.
Dream’s soul erosion twisted him into a monster, and both Daz and Innit agree that there is only one path to victory.
Victory; what a fucked up thing to consider suicide. Aster isn’t exactly a stranger to it, but the circumstances were leagues apart.
Aster was abused and tormented with no hope of escape. Daz, despite this horrible crime against him, could have accepted what had happened and let himself find peace.
He rejected the power and security of becoming an admin alongside someone who treasured him…all because he couldn’t stomach the idea of letting Dream be happy.
Not that Aster could have done so, either. But the strength of will to spite Dream to that extent isn’t something Aster can just ignore.
Their talk only solidifies that their one and only goal is to die. At no point do either of them even begin to consider anything else.
“If they fail,” Daz sighs, “We'll have to bank on the enchantment killing us.”
If we told Dream, he'd fix it, Innit mourns. We were going to be happy.
This was meant to be our paradise. Gods, beloved and strong, in a place we could never be removed from.
But we deserve to die. We failed. We failed, we failed, we FAILED! Failure as a protege, as a friend, as an admin! The only way to atone is to spill our blood.
O’ cruel, wretched Death– if Wilbur truly is your son…please grant us this small mercy.
Please don't make us die to the enchantment. Please…
If that was where this ended, Aster would be unequivocally on Innit's side. A lonely creature who was rejected and hidden, only for its beloved savior to rip away what tiny shreds of agency it had.
But that's not where it ends.
He witnesses as Lee finds them at the worst possible time, and–
Innit wanted Lee to die. It wanted Daz to kill a six year old who had done nothing.
The demand festers and ferments until…
Until Innit makes a horrible, ugly choice. A choice to try to force compliance.
So…that's why Daz was hospitalized all those years ago, huh? Innit drove him to a state of exhaustion in an attempt to force Daz to end the life of an innocent.
Aster sees Innit be shoved back into its cage, and when it realizes that Daz has turned his back on it.
Traitor, Innit howls, destroying the tiny room it once called home. I'll kill you! No– death is too good for you. I'll ruin your life and destroy everything you love. I'll make you beg for death!
And then–
Aster is in a white void.
Unlike the claustrophobic cell, this place makes him feel the opposite. Like he’s too exposed, too easily spotted.
Easy prey.
There's suddenly a hand on his shoulder, and he spins to see–
Innit. Not quite the same as the last image, though. It wears a fluffy light blue sweater, with some small barrettes in its hair.
A strange, silvery-purple raccoon is cradled in its arms, a similarly colored rat nestled in its hair, and a noodle-like dragon is draped across its shoulders.
All four watch him with surprise, though Innit seems almost manic with glee. “I was right,” it laughs, borderline hysterical. “You did show up! Hah, haha…”
It seems to need to compose itself by burying its face in the raccoon's wispy fur. It chitters and carefully pats Innit's head, as though giving comfort.
The dragon curls in closer, seemingly on the same wavelength.
“...Innit,” Aster says. Said person scoffs, its elongated elf-like ears angling backwards. “No shit.”
Fuck, he can’t even begin to process all of this.
As much as he does feel some pity for Innit…it also poses a direct threat to Sanctuary, and more importantly, Lee.
Gods damnit. Daz sealed half of himself to protect them all. He buried this secret, likely out of fear that others would try to reason with it.
In a catastrophically fucked up way…Daz is a hero.
Someone who knows all of Daz’s secrets and who has a deep, bitter grudge against Sanctuary…Aster questions if even just talking with it is dangerous.
Tail flicking, Innit hums, “Now that you're here…what do you want to know? I have no reason to keep that bastard's secrets.”
There's no fucking way he's asking Innit anything about Daz. There’s extremely bad blood between them, rendering any information tainted.
Also, y'know, Aster doesn’t want to hurt Daz even worse than he already has.
Instead, he asks, “...What are those things?”
Innit bristles, holding the raccoon closer. “My friends. You'd do well to treat them with respect.”
One hand moves up to delicately scritch the rat's head. “They can be quite capricious when they want to.”
The dragon suddenly rises up and shoves a cookie into its mouth. It laughs, expression warm and fond.
After swallowing, it hums, “That one's good! Salty and sweet, and little crunchy things…”
As the dragon wiggles and chirps in delight, the raccoon pushes a small ball into Innit's mouth.
It startles a little but seems interested. “Oh…it's a bit spicy,” it murmurs, but licks its lips anyway. “I like that one a lot. I think I see the bastard make them sometimes– boudin balls?”
Evidently ignoring Aster for the moment, it coos and scritches the raccoon. “How did you know I wanted to try them?”
The creature seems pleased at this, then reaches its little hands up to pat Innit’s face. It hums, “Oh, I’m fine. Better than fine, actually. That bastard is finally getting exposed for what he really is. Hah…”
Bright blue eyes– painfully bright, even moreso than Daz’s– flick up to Aster. Its pupils dilate as it tells him, bitterly, “You saw what he did, didn’t you? At every step, I aided and helped him. And then he shoved me in a cage! As if my existence wasn’t miserable enough before– I was stripped of even his company.”
“You tried to make him kill Lee.”
Its pupils thin to slits as it hisses, “He was, is, and will alway be a threat! I may have been unaware of exactly why at first, but now I know– I could tell he’s an admin. A baby admin Dream with most of the server wrapped around his fingers. Daz was being stupid and ignoring how blatantly wrong he is.”
Fuck, on the surface Aster can’t even argue that he’d be wary of Lee, too. But at the same time–
“He was six and just wanted to help.” “I’m not going to argue how dangerous that brat is with you, of all people,” Innit sneers. “No…the only thing you need to do is simple.”
Aster tenses as Innit strides forward, getting into his personal space. It purrs, “Just kill Daz. It’s so simple, isn’t it? Neither of us would be a threat any more.”
As he’s reeling from that request, he’s dragged back to what must be early on in Daz’s time in Sanctuary.
Daz stares at the ceiling of the guest room, evidently talking to Innit. There’s nothing left for us, the bastard thinks.
When we die…you’ll introduce me to Tubbo, right? Properly I mean– that way I can be his friend, too.
Loneliness and grief and excitement burn like fire inside Innit.
Is…is it mad that Daz chose to live? And why it threw a tantrum right before Daz said its name– an attempt to make sure it could die?
He’s snapped back to the void, and Innit seems curious. “What did you see?”
“...You want to die. You’ve wanted to die for a long time, haven’t you?”
It seems surprised, but doesn’t deny it. “I shouldn’t exist. I’m the worst parts of that bastard, shoved down and left to fester until I became a person. I couldn’t feel anything, or taste anything, or even look where I want. My only window to the world is Daz…who hates me. All I want is to be free. What other path do I have than for us both to die?”
What a horrible way of life. Aster wishes he could feel more pity for it, but–
But its secondary goal is that it hates Sanctuary and Lee. Giving it sympathy is a dangerous game.
Still, the way it shudders and clutches its friends close while they try to comfort it…that tugs on his heartstrings just a little.
Innit is a threat to Sanctuary. Daz is a mangled wreck of a person hidden behind a thin veneer of gold and competency. Both share a singular goal– to die.
Yet…Aster can’t let that happen.
He’s never thought of himself as particularly brave, nor clever. By fighting against the twice-over netherite will of Daz and Innit, he’s so outclassed that it goes beyond being funny and into being just pathetic.
Letting that happen is as good as giving up on Daz, though. And for as little as he likes the bastard as a person…
Daz has done unfathomable amounts of good for the server.
No. No, saying just that much is being dishonest.
Aster, if he’s being truthful, owes an incalculable debt to Daz.
Time and time and time again, Daz has bullied, shoved, and threatened Aster into being better. Smarter, stronger, more well-adjusted, powerful in a dozen ways, and so much more.
Daz is who steered him into being the beacon of strength and near-idol at the head of the Swords and Shields. Daz is who formed the Swords and Shields. Daz is who kicked his ass and made the prize for doing so teaching him.
Were his reasons good or even sane? Probably not. But he still helped. He still made Aster someone worthy of respect and awe and able to stand toe to toe with Theo.
In what fucking world could Aster live with himself if he turned his back on Daz at his lowest? How could he ever be able to look anyone in the eye again, having given up on the guy who made him who he is today?
Aster scoffs softly, straightening his spine. “Fuck you both; I’m not going to be your executioner. You two want to die? You’re going to have to fight for it.”
And then he’s back in the Council Headquarters, with Daz staring at him with this horrible, stomach-churning blend of hope, resignation, and exhaustion on his face.
He grabs Daz by his shirt and growls, “You have no fucking clue how close I am to having a breakdown over your bullshit!” “I have a good outlet for that,” Daz answers, as if that’s even remotely okay to say.
Instead of answering that, he looks to Theo, who seems more than a little confused. “Innit is this asshole’s admin side. He repressed it so hard it became a person. It hates Sanctuary, and more specifically, Lee. Currently, all it wants is to die. Once it accepts that won’t be easy, I’d bet it’ll go back to wanting revenge.”
Theo bristles, eyes going sharp. “So there’s a ticking time bomb in Daz’s head.”
“And my curse,” Daz points out. “I tried to make this easier for you, but the traitor had to interfere.”
“Because, no matter how little I like you as a person, letting you throw your life away for nothing–” “I’m trying to save everyone, and you’re just too fucking stupid to see that!” “None of us could live with ourselves for fucking– sacrificing you–”
Daz snarls, venom and bile and hate in his words, “I’m not worth it! Whatever stupid, high-minded image you have of me– that’s a fuckin’ lie! I’m a monster, inside and out, and the fact I could hide just how fuckin’ broken I am only makes that more obvious! You’re putting the entire fuckin’ server in jeopardy for someone you don’t even fuckin’ like!”
That’s not a point they agree on, first of all. Second of all…Aster doesn’t know how to get it through his head that he’s just as worthy of saving, of healing, as everyone else on the server.
He can think of few others who have done such unequivocal good for them as Daz has.
Suddenly, Theo’s voice breaks in. “Why did you try to get me to do it, though? Wouldn’t it be fuckin’ easier to do it yourself?”
Daz is quiet, refusing to respond. He won’t even meet their eyes.
Aster is yanked back to see the truth, though. As Daz is writing something– his own fucking will, goddamnit– there’s a flurry of planning in the bastard’s head.
It doesn’t make sense to rely on someone else. It could get ruined so easily– it puts everything at risk.
…But…
Maybe I can be selfish for this.
I don’t want to die alone.
And then he’s back, with Daz’s mouth now in a thin line– like he knows that Aster knows.
“You keep calling yourself a monster,” he says, an unfamiliar ache in his chest at how ruined this person actually is, “But I don’t think a monster would do something like that just to not be alone.”
“I don’t need your fuckin’ pity. You’re the reason I need to die,” Daz sneers, bitterness in his words.
Aster sighs, dropping his shirt. “I can’t let you do that, though.” “Hah! Next you’ll tell me it’s for my own good. Traitor. Exactly– exactly like fuckin’ Dream.”
“It’s– so fucking telling that you put not letting you kill yourself and the absolutely monstrous shit your former mentor pulled on the same level.” “You both think you know better than me, think you can control me– force me to be what you want. Your noose might be prettier, but it’s still a fuckin’ noose.”
And then a voice speaks up, low and dangerous in a way that Aster hasn’t heard in a long time. “I’m going to need to be caught up on what the fuck is going on…and what exactly is meant by your former mentor.”
Ah. That would be DayDream, having shown up at a terrible time.
…Explaining this is going to suck.
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✭ ✭ ✭ 𝐘/𝐍 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐒 𝐖/ 𝐀 𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐆𝐔𝐌𝐁𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐖𝐈𝐍 ✭ ✭ ✭ ft. miles morales
summary. Basically the title
warning(s). He/Him pronouns
a/n. This is my first time writing in this style so give me tips
✭ ✭ ✭ You and Miles have a very complex relationship, it can go from “I’ll support you in any and everything you aspire to accomplish!” to “I know you ate my breakfast, and I won’t stop until your six-feet-under!”
For example:
*Miles looking over the destroyed city of Mumbattan*
Miles: Did I go too far?
Y/n: No, no, no. You went to far 7 hours ago. Now, your going to prison.
Or
Y/n: I think you’ll find they are called orange-utans
Miles: Wait, wait, wait. You think that type of ape is called a Utan, and is referred to as orange because of the color of it’s fur?
Y/n: Yeah, cause their ginger, innit.
(clearly spends to much time around Hobie^^^)
✭ ✭ ✭ Hell, you two give Miguel a headache more than Hobie. Majority of the time it’s not on purpose tho, you just make a decision, and the decision somehow ends up with you two diving off a cliff or teasing a villain that could end the multiverse.
Spot: I am, the Spot!
Y/n: Meet me at our Spot!!!
Y/n: Caught a vibe!
Miles: Woo, woo!
Y/n: Baby, are you coming for the ride?
Miles: The ride, the ride, the ride!
Here’s another one
Y/n: T-that’s the Rhino..?
Miles: I mean, yeah. But he’s pretty powerful..we’ve fought a lot
Y/n: But aren’t they going extinct, should we really be fighting him?
Miles: What? Are you serious? Rhinos aren’t going extinct! I just saw one on TV yesterday.
Y/n: Yuh-hu, look! *pointing towards an article on his phone*
Miles: What!-
Y/n: You good mans? I mean your people are going extinct, I see why your doing this, but…you’re better than this.
Miles: Did you seriously just try a therapy move on a villain?
Y/n: No! I tried a therapy move on a creature in need of comfort.
Miles: Your gonna be in need of a hospital inna minute…
Y/n: What? *proceeds to get smacked around by Rhino*
✭ ✭ ✭ But, all silliness aside you two make a remarkable team. You’ve helped Miles with his Gwen trouble, and Miles has helped you with your issues. At the end of the day you two are like brothers…very weird, uncoordinated, chaotic, accident prone brothers. But, still brothers.
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observations about joel (mostly speech stuff) and interactions with others bc ive been hyperfixated since the beginning of time (also theres alot of bs commentary im sorry)
general stuff:
very very british like extremely british
'bloody' and 'blooming' ALOT - when he's annoyed or shocked or offended (im gonna call this his pseudo swearing for the rest of this for convenience)
instead of very he says 'well' sometimes (e.g. "this bloody pico park music is well annoying) and "absolutely"
instead of really he says 'proper' sometimes so "stress is proper northern" etc
instead of 'i haven't' he says "i've not"
he gives an explanation for basically everything he does and instead of because he says 'as' alot
'to be honest' "i bloody hate woodwork to be honest" (sometimes he says 'to be honest with you' too)
'innit' occasionally "it's like waterslide innit"
'like so'
'by the look of it'
he gets irritated really easily - "for goodness sake" and he'll start cutting himself off alot "this bloody-" and also his voice gets much more high pitched and his pseudo swearing gets way more frequent. also 'blooming heck'
(and also this isn't super relevant but when he gets mad all his friends start commenting on it and its the funniest thing- in the overcooked stream as soon as he starts getting annoyed everyones like 'oh here he is')
i didn't know if i should put this in a specific section but he says 'babe' alot - not just to lizzie but to jimmy like ALOT and also in general - i'll talk about this a bit more later tho !
pauses alot: in between words/phrases, and also before he answers questions (this is not as often but also if he wants someone to stop him- he was playing scrabble and was basically asking if someone could spell out vagina so he was slowly going 'and a g....and an i...and a n...' etcetc idk this isnt relevant i just thought it was worth mentioning)
he's kinda an oversharer 😭 ? (this is lh hes 31 im sure he shares what he thinks is appropriate) but at any given moment he starts giving details about his life- a kinda memorable example of this is in mcc26(?) when w*lbur made fun of his accent so he started telling a story about his grandfather and giving alot of details about him after he said he couldnt talk too much about it AND grian begged him to stop
repeats things (especially when he's annoyed) : "game's a bloody joke. game's a bloody joke"
he basically never says 'oh my god' its always 'oh my gosh' or 'oh gosh' sometimes its 'oh jesus'
his voice is generally higher pitched and more expressive in videos than in streams but this is more of a general cc thing than a specific joel thing
very confident in his builds (AS HE SHOULD BE !!!) and he'll share his thoughts alot : "i think it's come together really well" "lovely" "i'm really happy with it/with how it's turned out" etcetc
when he narrates he uses a mixture of 'I' and 'We'. what i've noticed is he uses I for his thoughts ("i feel like" "i think") and we for everything else ("we need" "we're quite high in the sky" etc)
'genuinely'
'what (are) you on about'
'what the heck'
he will say very random (kind of odd) things just out of nowhere as if its normal and he'll only realize it's weird when someone questions it? e.g. the mumbo trauma dumping bit in SL, or in one of jimmy's streams he said 'until i get back to the hotel if yk what i mean' and jimmys like 'i dont' and joel just goes 'idk either'
accent stuff:
it's really recognizable idk what to say
very northern: hes from yorkshire - his accent used to be stronger in his old videos but you can definitely still hear it (like its still super different from grian or like mumbo idk)
his 'th' sounds come out as 'f' (idk if this is an accent thing or a joel thing but he's talked about it and said his family members have it too)
again not sure if this is an accent or joel thing but when he says any word with 'con' he says it kinda differently- it's hard to describe but for example when most people say convention the 'on' sound is more like a 'un' sound? whereas with joel its very much an 'o' sound like in 'box' or 'coffee' (genuinely have no idea how else to explain it but in phonetic symbols- joel essentially never says /ʌ/ it's almost always /ɒ/ when its a 'con' word)
jimmy-
NICKNAMES !!! 'jim' is used alot - more than anyone else and one of the only people who calls him this. hes used 'mr neutron' too (idk how many times'
(he also doesnt actually say tim/timmy often and when he does its exclusively when grian is present)
typical british male friendship nicknames: 'lad' 'big man'
when he joins jimmy's stream he always says hi in a very dramatic way?? usually with a pretty deep voice (idk this is just something i noticed)
he calls him a loser alot?
(this might be more of a bad boys point) but joel is generally not that mean to jimmy? definitely he's meaner than he was a few years ago but that makes sense because they weren't as close but. he'll call him a loser and stupid/idiot sometimes but his main 'bullying jimmy' momentsare usually always when he's with someone else (usually grian, sometimes fwhip)
'what are you doing jimmy' or sometimes 'what are you doing with your life'
lizzie:
'babe' like all the time. once lizzie mentioned that they don't even really use each other's names alot because they just say 'babe' all the time
oli:
ok so joel really doesn't use that much like modern internet language but oli does and then joel will pick up on it (its cute but also horrifying sometimes)- he kept saying 'dogs' in reference to feet after oli said it
they flirt alot but differently to how he does with jimmy (hes more passive whereas with jimmy he initiates it more idk how else to describe it)
he calls him 'man' sometimes
he's also really giggly around oli theyre adorable
(tbh theres so much more to say about oli and lizzie but idk if i have the energy and time for like 10+ years of interactions rn - and honestly alot more for everyone else too but like.)
grian:
in general joel picks up on people's energy etc and mimics it alot but it happens so much with grian specifically - this sounds very weird but the more time he spends with grian in one go the more he starts to act like grian (especially with interactions with jimmy)
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