#it's like he got a special full wax for his long ass vacation

[mukuharakazui]

i think it's awesome that one of the most iconic and universally loved video game characters is a short fat hairy italian guy who says mama mia and whose hands shoot fire.

[demetriandelibinaryboyfriends]

AIGHT Y’ALL I wasn’t tagged but I’m doing this anyways because f u c k  i t

It's the year 2021 and you're obsessed with The Karate Kid. How are you feeling?

Deadasss weird as fuck, my dude. Like...out of all the things I could’ve predicted happening in our lord’s year 2021, it definitely was NOT getting hyperfixated on a hammy gay ship with a punk and a nerd from a goddamn karate soap opera. And yet...here we are??? I will never understand hyperfixations, my guy. But I’ve met a lot of really cool people in this fandom, so I can’t really complain.

Did you grow up with TKK or are you new to the series?

I have never seen a single Karate Kid movie in my entire life. When I was a kid, it looked kinda dumb so I never got into it XD But then I saw my roommate watching Cobra Kai on Youtube Red one day (he has every streaming service known to man) and I was hooked. And...here I am!

We gotta do the basics. Favorite character:  

Literally EVERYONE except for Kreese, Yasmine, Kyler, and Tory, sorry stans

Okay but if we gotta pick, Johnny Lawrence is my Problematic Fave. Also I love my boy Daniel, he’s trying his best!!! And Amanda LaRusso, we stan a queen!!!

Among the kids, definitely Miguel, with Demetri as a close second. I also love Sam, Aisha, Moon, and Hawk (pre- and post-Bastardization Arc, anyways XD)!

Favorite ship:  

Take a look at my username and take a WILD FUCKING GUESS lmao Yes it’s Eli/Demetri because DUH, every interaction they have is so fucking gay and Eli fucking saved him!!! And came back to him!!! And betrayed the world’s most terrifying dojo with a WAR CRIMINAL SENSEI all for Demetri!!! And how Demetri was willing to forgive him for everything at the drop of a hat because he always had faith there was still good in his best friend??? That’s TRUE LOVE motherfuckers. Please let them kiss in Season 4. I will sell you all of my limbs. Sam/Miguel is a close second because they’re cute as shit and it’s just so lovely to see two people so unapologetically smitten with each other. They are in LOVE, and I will RIOT if they break up again!!! Keep Sam and Miguel together 2k21!!!

Underrated character:

SAMANTHA LARUSSO!!! The amount of hate my girl gets for acting like a normal teenager and fucking up occasionally JUST like the rest of the cast makes me want to start punching things. She cares SO MUCH about her friends!!! And she loves the shit out of Miguel!!! She hasn’t always been the best friend but you know what??? Neither has Hawk, and we still forgave his ass!!! Also LET HER BE FEMININE but also kick utter ass, my god!!! Femininity should not be synonymous with being weak, y’all! ALSO DEMETRI, like yes, he likes to complain and occasionally run his mouth, but guess what else he likes to do??? Never give up on the love of his life his best friend Eli Moskowitz and refuse to lose faith in him no matter how much of a little shit he’s become, and I for one think that’s very badass of him. Also the way he takes care of Eli pre-Cobra Kai in his own snarky bastard way makes me absolutely Weak and needs more appreciation. Like the dude has charisma and COULD have probably made other friends and left Eli behind if he wanted, but did he??? No, he wants the weepy loser with the lip scar in the polo shirts and dorky sweaters and will protect him as much as his wimpy ass is able!!!

Underrated ship (don’t say therapy, lol):  

Among the adults, Daniel/Amanda!!! Like maybe I just don’t watch that much tv, but it seems kinda rare to me to see a happily married hetero couple, and it’s just nice to see a married couple who genuinely love each other and where there’s not like...lingering resentment or some shit. I feel like this ship gets overshadowed by Lawrusso a lot (which like--okay, fair!!! Daniel and Johnny do have a ridiculous amount of chemistry, and the gay undertones are undeniable, so I get it), and it makes me kinda sad. I do love Lawrusso, but I don’t like when Amanda has to get her heart broke for it to happen, you feel? Among the kids, honestly YasMoon. Like I really love the idea of Yasmine trying to better herself because of Moon’s influence on her and because Moon like...inspires her to be a better person, I guess? With their pretty strong friendship, it just makes more sense to me for Yasmine to get a redemption arc through Moon than through Demetri. ALSO girls DO often pull the whole “mean girl” shtick to cover up being closeted lesbians, and Moon IS canonically bi, so it could work!!! I just think this one could be a really interesting Friends to Lovers take, and could make a really nice coming-out arc for Yas. And MoonPiper too, honestly!!! Like they only got 5 seconds of screentime so I understand WHY it’s underrated, but I still love what we DID get and loved that there was a canon gay ship (even if only for 1 scene lmao). I’m really excited to potentially see more of them in Season 4!!! Please, I’m begging!!!

Wax On, Wax Off or Sweep the Leg?

Sweep the Leg because it will always be deeply hilarious to me how Demetri took note of the first move Eli ever used on him and spent presumably weeks perfecting it OUT OF SPITE just to get him back with it at the soccer game MONTHS later. Just goes to show how OBSESSED Demetri is with Eli and their little karate rivalry which is just NOT straight, I’m sorry

Which of Daniel’s dumb little outfits is your favorite?

There’s something so funny about this pretentious little fuck walking around in fancy suits once he becomes a #SuccessfulBusinessman, and still occasionally trying to do karate in a full-ass suit (take THAT, Tom Cole’s boba!!!) I’m also a big fan of how he looks in his gi with his little headband. Still killing that look as a 40-50-something!!!

Character from the films you most want to return, who’s not Terry Silver:

Tbh I have still never seen a single Karate Kid movie (they took them off of Netflix, RIP), so...I don’t really care if they bring anyone else back??? I’m invested in the characters we already have in the show, I don’t need some rando from the movies to make a cameo to have a good time XD The only character I really wanted them to bring back was Ali, and they already did, so like...I’m good??? That’s all I really needed, I can die in peace now XD

Scene that lives in your head rent-free:

Basically any fluffy Elimetri scene, but 5 in particular: ~Miguel first meeting Eli and Demetri at the lunch table, and Eli looking at Demetri like he hung every goddamn star in the sky ~Demetri going off at a terrifying, “unhinged” karate sensei on the first day of Cobra Kai because he made fun of Eli’s lip and Demetri is not about that shit ~ELI STEALING DEMETRI’S NACHO AND SMIRKING AT HIM, LIKE EXCUSE ME SIR PLEASE BE A LITTLE LESS HOMOSEXUAL IN FRONT OF YOUR GIRLFRIEND ~Eli yanking Demetri onstage during Valley Fest to hold a board, and Demetri being visibly like...extremely turned on when Eli breaks said board ~ELI SAVING DEMETRI DURING THE CHRISTMAS FIGHT, ELI APOLOGIZING, DEMETRI AND ELI KICKING COBRA ASS TOGETHER AKSBDCUWYVCBU

Will Anthony LaRusso ever be relevant?

I hope not! He’s kind of a funny meme character to pop up now and again but I don’t think he deserves a serious plotline when there are so many more interesting characters to follow.

You live in The Valley and are forced into the karate gang war. Which dojo do you join?

Miyagi-Do because Cobra Kai would eat me alive. Also I’d probably straight up get stuck and die in that cement mixer, if I even made it that far XD Besides, being salty that your friend who you have a crush on likes martial arts better than you and starting martial arts to impress them but also being too lazy to join anything TOO intense is a Big Mood and I am certainly not speaking from personal experience here, no sirree

What’s your training montage song?

"Shut Up and Drive” by Rihanna for a weight-training and bicep-flexing montage, “Whatever It Takes” by Imagine Dragons for a more intense punching-and-kicking-shit montage. I don’t know why this is, I just feel it in my heart.

It’s the crossover event of the century! Which TV show are you combining with Cobra Kai for an hour-long Saturday night special?

*Briefly panics because I don’t actually watch that much TV and most of the stuff I do watch is fantasy/sci fi shit that absolutely would not work for a CK crossover*

Hmmmm okay but ACTUALLY

You know what would be fucking funny as hell would be an It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia crossover. Allow me to elaborate: ~The Gang goes to LA on vacation during the height of the Karate Dojo Wars. They literally can get barely anything done without all these goddamn karate-fighting teenagers getting in the way. ~They are all very annoyed by this. Even the most obscure of tourist attractions is eventually intercepted by karate fights. ~Mac tries to join Cobra Kai because he sees all this karate fighting on, and wants to unquestionably prove both his badassery and masculinity. Both Johnny and Kreese are like “Wtf are you doing here? Aren’t you like 30?” ~Mac gets a planet-sized crush on Johnny after all of 5 minutes and endlessly gushes to the gang about him. The gang mercilessly roast him about this and about how much of a pathetic loser with his life together in no way whatsoever Johnny sounds like. They proceed to have exactly 0 self awareness about this. ~The Waitress is in town visiting family or something, and Charlie is stalking her, as per usual. However, every time he’s about to go up and talk to her, a pack of battling Miyagi-Dos and Cobra Kais throwing punches and kicks everywhere blocks his path. One times, Mac is among one of these packs and Charlie is like “???? He didn’t get kicked out of that teen karate dojo yet???” ~Seeing how much the Kids These Days seem to like fighting, Charlie drops by a local high school to try and sell Fight Milk to the kids doing karate. Only Kyler and Brucks buy into it, and subsequently get the entire West Valley High wrestling team sick. Charlie is inevitably arrested, as Counselor Blatt thinks he’s selling the kids drugs. ~Dennis makes a plan to have sex with every hot chick he can in Los Angeles. He meets Ali on a dating app post-divorce, and inevitably tries to bang her. It doesn’t work. ~Frank crashes the rental car, and inevitably the gang ends up at one of Daniel’s dealerships. Dee quickly takes a liking to Daniel and is like “Watch, assholes--Imma homewreck this guy’s marriage.” She starts frequenting the dealerships to attempt to flirt with Daniel, until one day she walks in on him having sex with Johnny in a back room and she’s like “Is that the guy from Mac’s goddamn dojo?!?!” ~Dennis, of course, tries to sleep with Amanda. Amanda is not having it, and rebukes him in the most snarky, Amanda-esque way possible. Dennis is just like “Oh not AGAIN--the women in this goddamn diva city have too high of standards!” ~Later on, the gang is at the beach and Dennis spots the blonde lady he went out on an ill-fate date with, and decides to give it another shot--that is, until he sees her go up and kiss another woman and he’s like “IS THAT THE LADY FROM THE CAR DEALERSHIP??? STUPID-KARATE-KICK-COMMERCIAL’S WIFE?!? YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME.” ~Dee complains to Dennis about her lack of luck getting laid, and Dennis is just like “Oh come ON, is everyone in Los Angeles gay???” Smash cut to Hawk and Demetri having sex, Moon and Piper making out, Bert and Nate holding hands, Chris and Mitch doing oral, and Amanda, Ali, and Carmen having a threesome. ~Frank tries to scam Kreese into buying cheaply-made karate equipment for his dojo. The gang ends up having to leave LA because Kreese is quite literally plotting all of their murders.

For tagging, uuuuhhhhhh @jackonthelongwalk @soe-leo @max-eagle-fang @cc-tinslebee @backawayfromthegay @asphodel-storm do the thing, if y’all haven’t yet!

[abarbaricyalp]

Teach Me Something New

(A normal AU in which Adam never got out of the public school system, never met Ronan and Gansey, and could never dare to dream of politics and becomes a teacher instead and Ronan didn’t dream up Opal just...got her. IDK)

Ronan is in a scowling mood. He scowls while Opal runs around his legs. He scowls as he buttons a shirt over his tank top and then unbuttons it again so it just hangs open. He scowls as he tries to find a pair of shoes that aren’t caked in mud. He scowls when he realizes his kid still hasn’t changed out of her stained shirt.

“Opal, I told you to go change,” he says, tugging on an old pair of converse that makes him miss lazy school days with Gansey so much a physical ache erupts in his chest.

It’s not that he doesn’t like  where he is in his life right now. He loves it. He loves the Barns. He loves Opal. He loves farmer’s markets most weekends. Hell, he doesn’t even mind fighting with the school system again with Opal. It’s the part of the school system he never had to deal with that’s really getting him going. He loves Opal but he really doesn’t like kids. Any of them. None of her friends. None of her classmates. Not the shrieking brats at the store. Opal is his and he loves her but that was as far as the love for kids went. And, God, the parents. Ronan’s parents had never been really involved in his schooling. He couldn’t even remember that much that warranted their involvement. Maybe private school would be better for Opal. Certainly better for his nerves. He hated the way the other parents looked at him. He hated their snide comments about how young he was and how old, in relation, Opal was. He hated every single one of them and he hated having to do anything that would put him in close proximity to him. So, yes, he was scowling.

“I wanna match you,” Opal says from where she’s sitting on a chair stacked high with clothes Ronan just hasn’t gotten around to putting up. And it’s true, she’s trying to match him. Ronan’s shirt is a light blue plaid flannel and her shirt is almost the same shade except for where Spaghetti-Os have discolored it to an unnatural orange.

“Well,  you can match me after I do the laundry. We’re going to be late.”

Opal makes a face, her lips going in the most unamused straight line that looks like she took it right off of Ronan’s own face, and then bounces back to her connected room. She comes out a moment later in a navy blue shirt that kind of matches some of the stripes on Ronan’s shirt.

Ronan had finally managed to get dressed and he tugged on Opal’s ponytails. “I thought I told you to behave at school.”

“I do behave!” she objects quickly, looking shocked and just a little bit hurt and a lot a bit indignant.

“I don’t think there has to be mandatory parent teacher meetings for kids who behave,”  he argues just as hotly. He lets go of her pigtails to squeeze her shoulders.

“No, Mr. Parrish set up appointments for everyone! He said so because he knew there were parents like you.” She jabs a finger into Ronan’s stomach and startles a sound out of him.

“Well, I think Mr. Parrish lied so none of you would keep your parents from hearing what little shits you are.”

Opal rolls her eyes and grabs Ronan’s wallet and his keys. “Can we go? You’re going to make us late like you do every morning.”

Ronan rolls his eyes in turn and sticks out his tongue at her. “Have you brushed your teeth?”

“Have you?”

Lightening fast, he reaches out to tickle her sides and sends her shrieking in laughter down the other end of the house and out the door. He ducks into her room to grab the jacket she always wants and her little hat before following her. She’s already tucked herself into his car, dutifully awaiting him to strap in the rest of her car seat. She was small and he was a relatively reckless driver still. Sue him for keeping his kid safe.

Opal prattles on and on about nothing in particular for the entire ride to the school. It’s not a long ride. Most of it is getting away from the Barns and into town. But she manages to cover topics from the goats’ reaction when she read them her weekend reading for class to how she watched the baby pig poop to Mr. Parrish’s dog that he sometimes brings to class after sending out a permission note. Opalis fond of the huge thing. Ronan’s never seen it himself but she says it’s as tall as she is when it’s standing on all its paws and that it has scraggly hair. (“Like the beard you try to grow, Kerah.”) Opal’s a friend to animals everywhere so Ronan’s not totally sold on a giant dog wandering around a school.

Ronan doesn’t know much about Mr. Parrish. Opal likes him well enough but doesn’t talk at length about him. He knows that Mr. Parrish is young-ish, though Opal is about as good with ages as Ronan is with math. If given the chance, she will tell people, confidently, that Gansey is still in high school.  He knows that Mr. Parrish is soft spoken and he has a dog and he lives alone. He knows that he’s kind and smart and that no one is really afraid of him. (This observation because Opal’s first grade teacher was potentially a demon in disguise who hated all of the students according to, well, all the students)

Opal is still talking as Ronan parks the car and got out. Even when he starts unbuckling her and pulling her out of the back seat. She only falls silent when a few of her classmates were walking out the door. Then she presses closer to Ronan and holding onto his leg tightly.

“Opal, I can’t walk like that. Just...hold on.” He unwinds her and then takes her hand, swinging their arms between their bodies until she smiles and then starts to laugh.

“Stop. Stop! You’re gonna rip my arm off.”

“Good. Then you can’t try to take my leg with you everywhere.”

It isn’t hard to find Mr. Parrish’s room. There’s a constant flow of students in and out of the second grade wing and Mr. Parrish’s seems to be the quietest but warmest at the far end of the hall. Ronan’s met Mr. Parrish before. Not been introduced but sat in the same room. During Open House, another required attendance thing, he’d sat in the back of the room, bouncing Opal on his knee and hugging her close because she didn’t feel good but wanted to go to avoid getting in trouble. Gansey had been having a heart attack over some girl he met on campus and so Ronan was a little too preoccupied to pay attention to the quiet man at the front of the room who was having to deal with more problematic parents than Ronan was going to be.

His room hadn’t been quite completed yet. There were signs on the doors that said corny shit like, “Excuse our mess! The children are learning!” to cover up the fact that the second grade wing had only been completed a few days before the year started. It still smelt like new wood and fresh paint and the floors hadn’t been waxed yet.Ronan hadn’t realized how much he’d come to associate waxed floors with a new year. Parrish’s classroom had been mostly boxes at that point. There was a measly reading corner with a bean bag and a few blankets. A few dozen picture books had lined a shelf and a half. Boxes piled up in empty spaces. There had been an activity corner that was just a table with three boxes sat under it. His own desk had had only a few knick-knacks.

Now, the room is cluttered and lived in and warm. There’s faux candles on Parrish’s desk and the window sills. Hundreds of books line his shelves, ranging from little cardboard picture books to the Harry Potter series. The activity center has a treasure chest full of costumes and props and there are little science experiment tables set up. Arts and crafts coat the walls or dry on racks. His desk is still bare of personal effects but there are dozens of little notes and drawings from his students.

And then there’s Mr. Parrish. Ronan didn’t remember Mr. Parrish being so handsome. He was just finishing up with the family in front of them--some snot nosed kid who was playing on a phone while his mother had more tan on her than Ronan could afford to get in a month. (Excluding inheritance and life insurance. He didn’t use it that often, let him live)

Parrish looks like something out of a book. He looks transported from Princess Bride or some steampunk YA novel. He’s beautifully bronzed and his forearms are defined from where they’re visible beneath the rolled sleeves of his baby blue button up. There are a few scars along his skin and his hands are just a little disfigured to suggest a life of work beyond the classroom. His hair is messy but he’s tried to part it somehow. He’s really nicely proportioned. ‘As you wish,’ Ronan wants to say as he sinks to his knees.

Fuck, that’s his kid’s teacher. His kid who isn’t holding onto his hand anymore but running to the teacher to envelope him in a bear hug when he looks up at them and smiles wide and squats down to open his arms to her.

Ronan does not look at the way his dress pants pull tight over his thighs. He busies himself with glaring at the mother who is sneering at him, looking over his casual dress and his youth. Once she’s gone, he turns his attention back to Parrish. He’s looking up at Ronan and, Christ, his eyes look like every type of cliche for gemstone eyes. Ronan’s mouth goes dry and he takes a moment to swallow and try to remember how vocal cords work.

“Mr. Parrish,” he says, stepping forward and holding out a hand. “I’m Ronan Lynch. Opal’s guardian.” it still felt wrong to say father. Not wrong in that he didn’t think he was. Just… It was a difficult situation to explain to people. She didn’t call him dad so he didn’t say he was her father. He’d let her decide how this relationship was going to go. As it was, he thought they were pretty fucking special without dumb ass names to go with it.

“Mr. Lynch, Opal’s very favorable of you.” Adam smiles and Ronan’s heart tries to vacate his chest. Mr. Parrish looks very good hugging Ronan’s kid. Parrish looks very good on his knees…

Goddammit.

“Please, have a seat, Mr. Lynch,” Parrish says, standing up and gesturing to the undersized chair in front of his desk. Opal laughs when Ronan tries to sit on it with little success. She has to climb onto hers a little bit and the difference is hilarious to her.

Parrish looks at home behind the desk and Ronan suddenly wishes he had  Opal in his lap so his hands had something to do rather than pick uselessly at callouses.

“Opal is extremely gifted. I don’t think I’ve ever had a student as eager to learn as her.” Opal preens next to Ronan and then sticks her tongue out at him.

“I told you I wasn’t in trouble.”

Adam smiles at them and Ronan feels like jumping out a window. “How long have you been teaching?”

“About three years now. I was lucky enough to get hired on here as soon as I graduated. It’s technically the school I went to.”

Ronan would rather die on the streets before he went back to Aglionby. This guy must not have much of a life. “Technically?”

“Well, they tore down the building I actually went to school in. It’s part of the bus barn now.”

Ronan only vaguely remembered that happening a few years ago. There were supposedly old tunnels under the school and Ronan had had to remind Gansey that they had a two year old in the next room and mindless fucking off to explore potential holes in the ground was not an option for them anymore.

As if reading his mind--and sometimes Ronan honest to God thought Opal could--she asks, “Were the tunnels real?”

Adam furrows his brow before that brilliant smile takes over. “You  know, I’d tell you…”

“But then I’d have to kill you. I know. I know! You always say that.” She pouts at him and Ronan reaches over to yank on her ponytail.

“Behave.”

“Opal, do you want to go wait in the hallway while I talk to...Ronan about some adult stuff.”

“I’m an adult,” she says petulantly. Ronan is still too fascinated by the way Parrish caught himself from saying, ‘your dad’ to much care what his kid’s saying. Whatever it was, it made Adam smile, something soft and sweet. Ronan was going to set himself on fire.

“Can you go show your classmates how to be an adult out in the hallway?”

Opal takes an irritated breath and slides off the chair and stalks off to the hallway, pulling the door behind her.

“Is something wrong?” Ronan asks after watching his kid disappear into the gaping maw of the world without him. He didn’t like it. It’s why he didn’t watch when he dropped her off in the morning.

“No, no. Opal is a pleasure to have in class.” Ronan snorted but Parrish continued. “It’s just that Opal is...not shy, per se. But she doesn’t interact with the other kids all that much. She’s very confident when she’s answering questions or doing work but as soon as I suggest she ask someone for a color or to give her her scissors back, she gets a scared look in her eyes. Have you noticed it?”

It’s like a sudden and swift shot to his gut. Something reminiscent of his school days, picking fights behind cafes and bars and on dirt roads in the glare of his headlights. He hadn’t thought about Opal potentially being alone when she went to school. Parrish was right. Opal was outgoing and talkative and confident but he’s never really seen her with anyone other than the few friends she occasionally asked to be taken out with. He did remember her saying she and Gracie, Maya, and Sheila weren’t in the same class this year. Shit.

Ronan hadn’t had the best time in school when he was younger. He met Gansey in the sixth grade and after that it smoothed out but he remembered the aching loneliness until his brother would come over and eat with him or some girl would take pity on him and be his partner in class. The idea that the same thing was happening to Opal made it hard to breathe for the sudden and intense pain blooming in his chest.

“Mr. Lynch?” Parrish reaches forward and Ronan instinctively jerks back. Parrish doesn’t look pityingly at him. Instead, Ronan recognizes the realization in his eyes. And...some kind of understanding. “You and she are very similar.”

“What?” Ronan croaks out. His heart is still hammering in his chest and he can’t really concentrate with the lightheadedness that’s suddenly taken over.

“Your facial expressions. She looks just like that when I suggest she talks to other students.”

Ronan clears his throat once, twice, a third time before he reaches up to hide wiping at his eyes with pinching his nose and rubbing his temples. “Uh, no. I’ve never...I’ve never…” It’s a fucking lie though. Opal clings onto him whenever she sees someone at the grocery store. She’d just done it five minutes ago outside the school. Jesus, fuck he hadn’t even noticed. “I’ll talk to her. Um. Yeah. She’s...at home she talks all the time. You can’t make her shut up. But..yeah. She...doesn’t talk to kids when we’re out.” He swallows hard and stands up so quickly the chair topples over behind him.

Parrish stands as well, reaching out as if to steady Ronan. “Mr. Lynch, your daughter is beyond fine. There’s nothing wrong with her at all. I’d say there’s something very special about her.”

Ronan glares at him but then the man’s image blurs and distorts. When it clears again, Ronan can feel tears on his cheeks. “I know she’s special,” he huffs, wiping his cheeks and then squeezing his eyes shut which only lets a few more tears fall. “I don’t need anyone to tell me that.”

He can hear Parrish move from the other side of the desk and he feels an arm around his shoulders. It’s a little awkward and he can tell Adam is kind of tip toeing to do so. “You’re raising her alone, right?” he asks.

Ronan thinks of Matthew baby sitting and Gansey showing up to suddenly steal her away for a weekend of adventure. He thinks of Declan and the nice ass shit that Opal owns because of him. He thinks of all the old ladies at the farmers market who are so enamored with her, Ronan and Opal always leave with a crate full of things they didn’t buy. He thinks of her friends’ moms who are always happy to keep her overnight for a sleepover or grab her from school if Ronan is still stuck at the vet’s office or in the middle of a field somewhere.

But then he thinks about trying to figure out what foods she likes and avoid allergies. He thinks about the way he panics about how much money they might have with the inheritance split between them. He thinks about laying awake at night and staring at the ceiling while he listens to her in the next room. He thinks about how many times he’s made her cry and slam doors when he punishes her. He thinks about the looks they get in public and wonders if Opal sees them too. He thinks about breaking down in hot teachers’ classrooms because his kid talks to the goats more freely than her peers and God, where did he go wrong? He was fucking this kid up. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go.

“I have help but...yeah, it’s me and her,” he eventually gets out. “And the cows.” He doesn’t know why he says it. It just comes out.

“I think she’s partial to the goats,” Adam answers without missing a beat and Ronan hiccups a small laugh.

“The cows are more helpful.”

Parrish laughs then and Ronan’s ecstatic heart is at war with his dying heart. “Ronan Lynch, you are a good man. And you have a very good child. And I know it can be hard feeling like you’re on your own. Trust me, I know. But your little girl is all the proof that everything you’re doing is right. For her, for you, for the world. I think she’s going to go on to do great things.”

Ronan nodded, not willing to draw out any stupid pessimistic fight. They stay standing like that until Ronan can breathe normally and he pulls away. Parrish squeezes Ronan’s arm and then leans over his desk. Ronan allows himself to look at how his dress pants pull tight over his ass.

“Listen, I know it’s a little unconventional but if you ever need help with anything, anyone Ronan, let me know. This is my number. I answer most of the time unless I’m with the kids.” He smiles that smile and hands over a post it note shaped like a lightening bug. Ronan lets himself draw his fingers over Parrish’s and tries to memorize the beautiful knobs and wrinkles on them by touch alone.

“Even if it’s something as simple as coffee. I know it can be nice to have conversations with adults when you primarily deal with children.” His grin is crooked, pulled to the left side of his face like it’s trying to connect with a pale scar that snakes down from his temple to his cheekbone, detouring to the corner of his eye halfway there. Ronan wants to take him apart at every seam and hear every story as they restitch themselves back together.

“Coffee,” Ronan answers softly, looking at the blocky number. He recognizes it from the grades on Opal’s homework. He nods and bites his lips. “Thank you. It was nice meeting you, Mr. Parrish.”

“Please, call me Adam. Especially when you ask me out.” And, oh, his grin can turn into a smirk that has no business being in a second grade classroom. Ronan Lynch was doomed.

((Damn this one was long. Sorry not sorry. It makes up for yesterday. First time...meeting! Don’t ask me how an eighteen year old acquires a baby and raises it. That’s why I didn’t choose that prompt. If you don’t think Adam Parrish would become a teacher and help kids like him, you’re wrong. And where’s my child Noah you ask? Please be considerate and don’t. My brain was saying future AU for some reason so he was dead in my mind :( ))