#it's middle aged white ladies and old people btw. i feel like that doesn’t need to be said but fuck those 2 in particular

[trainwreckweather]

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[praphit]

Ad Astra: Dammit, Brad!

Just Ad some Astra, people! - and everything will be alright. There's a joke there somewhere; it's not in what I just said, and wherever it is, it's probably a bad one, but it's there! Sometimes, I like jokes that are bad. We all have a family member or two who tell the same bad joke over and over again, but love them for it.  Or sometimes it'll be the same joke that people tell at work, you know??  - about the weather, or the weekend or something:

I'm always hearing jokes like "I'm off to HR. So-and-so grabbed my butt again. They'd better fire his ass this time!" - AND THEN WE’D ALL LAUGH. ... ... in retrospect, that's not really a joke. ... Ok, better example - sometimes people will be like "Oh no! My wife is leaving me. She found me in bed with another woman... she's taking the kids." - AND THEN WE’D ALL... ... Hmm... I 'm starting to realize what assholes we've been. But, y’all know what I mean, right? There are jokes that are bad, and then there are bad jokes! *sigh* That leads me to this movie.

Brad Pitt, baby! Look at those eyes! Damn he's pretty! I hope I look that good when I'm his age. I'm here for them sending Brad Pitt anywhere. Send him to the jungle - I'm there! Send him under water - I'm there! So, of course, if you're sending him to space - I'm there! The prob is, it's a bad joke. They sent him to space and he didn't do nothing! - I mean NOTHING! All he did was float around and narrate. Idc how pretty he is, nobody wants to watch that!

Brad Pitt, with this movie, joins that special list of actors:

with Tom Hanks, and Meryl Streep, and George Clooney, and Denzel.

We love them. They're extremely talented. Critics love them. AND their movies are boring as hell - this one is no different. Don't believe me?? - go to RT and you'll see a critical rating of around 80% and an audience rating of around 46% (tho it might be less by now). Normally, I say the truth is in the middle, which is still in the 60's, so... yeah, "Ad Astra", everybody *slow clap*

There's a lot of beauty to behold in this flick (especially in the beginning), so it might win awards in that arena, but damn the plot and characters! Dag gon you, Brad Pitt! It's not his fault that the movie is boring. It IS his fault for being in this boring movie.

Brad's character has daddy issues, and decides to work them out in space. Critics will say how deep this movie is... this ain't deep. Brad, your dad is a jerk - THE END. 

Either make peace with that fact or say "bleep it" and move on with your life - don't drag us along for this boring ride.

Dammit, Brad! 

You could have been a diva! You could have been like "I know we're in space, but imma take off this suit, and my shirt... trust me, the ladies will love that. I'm Brad Pitt. And I know in this scene there are dangerous highly flammable substances around, but Brad Pitt needs a smoke; make it work in the story! I know this is an Oscar craving drama, but I feel like fightin a mutha bleeper or two. Hey you! Yeah! Jamie Kennedy! Donald Sutherland! I've always wanted to punch y'all. Let's fight! Come here! I'm Brad Pitt! Where ya going?!

Hey, Liv Tyler! 

Where the hell have you been? I know this scene doesn't call for it, but let's you and me make sweet, sweet love. What?! Why not?! I'm Brad Pitt!"

But, instead he kept his mouth shut (except for when the director made him narrate in monotone), and just floated around in space. Every now and then, Ruth Negga would appear or Tommy Lee Jones... and every now and then something beautiful would appear, but then back to Brad's thoughts about daddy in space.

DAMMIT, BRAD!

I mean...

I....

*deep sigh*

Grade: D

Plus, we've already made this movie! - several times! It doesn't have to be complex. They did... what was it? - Armageddon, with um... Bruce Willis, and... Ben Affleck... 

... and wasn't Liv Tyler in that too?  - Was that her last movie? And I think Chris Tucker showed up and started singing... with a crazy hairdo... that doesn't sound right at all, but that's what I remember.

They did Apollo 13! 

The Hanky Pank Man went into space and probably won an Oscar or something.

Didn't Ryan Gosling go into space recently?

I don't remember much of that movie. He was probably crying, cuz that's his strength. He builds up to a cry for the whole movie, then at the end he makes us cry with him. Sorry, cuz that's pretty much a spoiler for all of his movies.

Matthew McConaughey went into space... something about time travel or something, I think. 

Was Liv in that too?! Maybe she has actually been stuck in space. All of these movies are connected - they're just trying to get Liv Tyler out of space and back into Hollywood.

... nah, it was some other pretty pale white woman.

Sandra Bullock went into space. 

She floated around for a while... but she didn't do that for hours whining about daddy issues like a lil bitch, BRAD PITT! (sorry, again, not your fault). SANDRA eventually did stuff... though I can't remember what. I remember ghost George Clooney ( at least I think he was a ghost) showing up in her space pod ... and then he made them both space martini's,

 and.... and then she took off her pants. There was a butt shot, and roll credits. 

Again, that doesn't sound right, but that's what I remember. Why did she take off her pants? Or is that what ladies do when in the presence of Clooney?

And I think Mark Hamill might have went into space and did some stuff as well.

I seem to have forgotten a lot about these movies, but that's kinda my point! Just go up into space, do some shit, and come back! We're going to forget most of it anyway; just entertain us in the moment! You don't just go into space and float around, BRAD PITT!

DAMMIT, Brad! Those are hours of my life wasted listening to you drone on and on about NOTHING!

Again, I'm projecting my anger onto Brad, but it's not really his fault.

A better movie would have been this -

Brad decides to go to space, and take with him a handful of other actors who got stuck playing boring roles. They'll all revisit one of their more memorable exciting characters:

Brad - Tyler Durden

Hanks - Woody

(yep, yep... that’s weird)

Streep - the witch from "Into the Woods"

Denzel - the guy from Training Day

(Wow, did they think Denzel was going to grow into that jacket during filming?)

Clooney - Batman

(his nipple game was immaculate)

Let's put Damon in there, cuz... yeah... - he'll play... what part was it when his movies started to... you know... ??? Was it "The Informant!"? He'll play that guy.

We still need more color, I think. And another woman... a lil older... um... Rosie Perez!

I hear that she's coming back to acting. Maybe I shouldn't call it a come back, but... has she done anything since "White Men Can't Jump"?  or had she been in space with Liv Tyler? She's supposed to be in that "Birds of Prey" movie next year... why they grabbed her for that movie when she hasn't done anything in like 40 years, idk. BUT, she's going to be in MY movie dag gonit! - she'll play... Idk, we'll just throw a "White Men Can't Jump" T-shirt on her, and give her a basketball.

BOOM! The team!

They'll go into space in hopes to do something interesting or fun or.. something that generally doesn't suck ass.

And why does it always have to be about exploring the moon or mars? And why do we only meet stereotypical aliens? There always either cute and marketable or they want to kill us.

We wouldn't even have to go the alien angle. What about other entities? Ooo! Or what about God? Scientists often joke that they haven't yet found some white bearded old man surfing through space yet. But, what if they did?

How about this?!

Brad and his team find Jesus and the Holy Ghost surfing through the cosmos, looking for the Father.

(Jesus played by Lil Wayne and HG played by... Lady Gaga - sure)

BUT the Father (spoiler alert) is actually on earth. He came down in the form of... idk... Neil Degrasse Tyson.

Btw - did y'all know that Neil was Metoo'd? Somehow I had missed that. So, the Father takes that form, somehow forgets that he's God... maybe gets metoo'd, and now Jesus and the HG have to look for him. Brad and his gang have an interesting encounter with them, and end up joining their quest, and in the process come across... idk... a malfunctioning Optimus Prime (crossover, baby!) with a thirst for blood and vengeance!

All of that stuff gets handled in about 2 hours or so, and Brad Pitt and friends come back to earth and do a musical number with BTS.

 THAT, Bradley is how you do it!

DAMMIT, Brad!

To be fair, "Once upon a time in Hollywood" is good! So, maybe we'll look back and give Brad a pass for this.

Sooooo, hit me up, and let's make THAT movie, Brad!

Annnnd don't make no more bullshit. Thanks.

[blenderbender1811]

A Song of Ice and Fire - Weddings Primer

Just a bunch of stuff put together about weddings in the ASOIAF universe for those looking to write them. Specifically, how weddings run in Westeros. This goes under a read more, for the post is long.

1) Nobody can be COMPELLED to marry. They need to say the words and if it’s done under sword point, it might be dissolved later. That said, it’s expected you’ll marry who your lord or his liege commands and if you don’t, you might be estranged from your family, and the ironborn can marry someone by proxy (with a seal in the place of a person, the iron born are weird.)

2) The Targaryens occasionally took more than one woman as a wife. The Ironborn also sometimes have more than one wife - an ironborn ‘rock wife’ and ‘salt wives’ taken on raids (because that’s not coercion at all). The children of salt wives are not considered bastards, but they come AFTER the children of rock wives status wise. 

3) Marriage contracts take forever to negotiate and they address all sorts of possibilities - land, inheritance, dowries, etc. Once a betrothal is made, you better have a GOOD reason to break it (infidelity, inability to fulfill property or income agreements in the contract, somebody died and you must fulfill their betrothal, you found out they have another contract, an inability to seal the alliance with children (infertility), etc.). Breaking a betrothal is a BIG deal and you might cause a lot more than hurt feelings. You might cause very real political damage with the people you were trying to ally with. 

4) So, how do you choose a partner? There’s several factors, some more important than others.

- Rank: This is one of, if not the most important thing to consider. If the parties are not of similar rank, this is going to get tricky. Marrying one rank up or down doesn’t seem to be scoffed at (for instance, nobody thinks, for example, that Mace Tyrell is weak because he married down to Alerie Hightower). More than one rank though and you’re going to need a very good reason for the marriage to happen. And marriages to lowborn people are vanishingly rare. That’s why Asha couldn’t marry Qarl even though she’d love to.

- Position in Family: Another super important factor. Is the person being married a ruling Lord or Lady? What about an heir? Are they the eldest daughter (who traditionally has choicest pick of gentlemen callers)? Are they true born or bastards? If they’re dynastically important, the family will be much pickier. Younger sons or daughters are much more likely to marry a household knight (or their daughter) or a minor bannerman than an older child, who is likelier to marry a major bannerman, if not marry up. 

- Political Context: This just always needs to be in mind. Does the husband have another wife? Is their land in a dangerous or contested spot? What’s their influence in the capitol like, if any? If your marriage making plans don’t make sense, the marriage is going to look shabbier or hastier to everyone else in Westeros.

- Age: In Westeros, we all know their treatment of age with regards to marriage is absolutely gross. We don’t need to be told that. Age isn’t treated as a major factor and indeed, young women have been married off to gross old men as a punishment (see poor Sylva Santigar for details). That said, even in Westeros, it’s generally considered more comfortable if they’re close in age, like with Joffrey and Sansa being considered perfect because they were the same age. This also makes sense dynastically speaking because they wouldn’t have to wait long for children. Or, alternatively, if you’re an elderly person looking for companionship before you die, you’ll probably pick someone closer to your own age and experiences. 

- Religion:  Again, not the biggest deal for most of Westeros, but I can easily imagine someone super pious wanting a spouse of the same religion.

- Personal Well Being: Since we’re playing a feudal dynastic game, this is barely a concern. That said, a decently loving family will probably want to look out for their family’s well being. They’re probably not eager to give their child in marriage to someone actively dangerous for them after all. Plus, dynastically speaking, it would render any alliance gained moot. Also, an older person looking for a second or third marriage, or again, an elderly person looking for companionship, would likely consider how well they got along. 

- Health: Somewhat important. If the point is to seal an alliance via babies, you want someone who can survive consummation, pregnancy, birth, and raising those children. One of the most important things Catelyn considered when looking for a bride for Robb was how good their hips were. IIRC, she didn’t want Robb to marry a Whent because their health tended to be delicate. Again, if you make an alliance only to immediately lose it when the person dies, what was the point of it in the first place? A good example of this is how nobody wanted to marry Shireen because she had greyscale.

- Wealth: Fairly important. You want an alliance partner to bring something to the table. It’s less about coinage and more about resources. Do they  have lots of land, minerals, livestock, industry, etc.?

- Appearance: Not exactly a first concern, but it’s somewhat a factor, simply because a good looking person is more likely to get lots of offers.  

- Region: Most marriages take place between houses of the same region. This isn’t a hard and fast law, but your alliances are more likely to be useful when they live next door and not five days away in a region you’ve never seen.

- Former marriages or children: This is important because if they already have children, YOUR children won’t get any inheritance from your spouse. If you’re going to marry, you have to be okay with that. Tends to work for marrying off younger children or when you look for step parents, but it might also be a deal breaker for someone looking for a first marriage. Never even mind in the Iron Islands, where wives might have to compete.

- Reputation: Important. You don’t want to marry your kid off to someone with a poor reputation. Knightly orders, people closely connected to important people, well reputed for honesty or honour are good things. An oathbreaker or drunkard will have a harder go than normal.

- Prestige: A more prestigous house will have more suitors. A house being of high rank doesn’t necessarily mean prestige. “New money” houses or houses in trade my have the wealth and militaryy might to be a major house, but still not be considered pretigious enough for many large houses. A house that were once kings will have more prestige than those who weren’t. A house who’s been around for thousands of years is likely lmore prestigious than a new one (hence why the Lannisters are more prestigious than Baratheons of Storm’s End before a Baratheon becomes king).

5) According to the Wedding Knight PDF from the Game of Thrones edition of the Green ronin RP game, weddings are traditionally hosted by the bride’s family. 

6) Likewise, according to the same, wedding dresses are traditionally white. This gels with the books, where the wedding dresses I recall being described (Jeyne’s, Sansa’s, and Margaery’s are all white). Now, to be fair, Sansa is a Stark and Jeyne was disguised as Arya, so they would both be using Stark colours. It also fits with the Seven, where white is seen as a colour of innocence and thus might be more appropriate to a maiden. It’s also a colour Septons and Septas wear most of the time (along with rainbows) and on Maiden’s Day girls light white candles. While none of that would apply to the Old Gods (or offshoots of the Old Gods like the Drowned God), I can see white catching on as a wedding colour regardless. If nothing else, it shows wealth if you can keep white clean. 

This isn’t like the real middle ages, btw. Blue was the traditional innocence and purity colour then. Women basically wore whatever colour they wanted, albeit with different cultural traditions surrounding omens and such.

Notes: For five and six, ‘traditional’ in this sense most likely does not mean ‘binding’. We see numerous examples of weddings that are not at the bride’s home and I’m sure plenty of Westerosi ladies wore other colours to their weddings. I wouldn’t be surprised if house colours were involved. Not that it matters overmuch - they change for the feast, and those colours can be whatever they want (though likely house colours).

7) Weddings in Westeros (or, at least highborn ones) involve a dowry, a dower (as per Tywin and Hoster discussing one for Lysa and Jaime) and a bride price (as per Barristan’s comments). These are three different things.

- A dowry: A dowry is property or income a woman is bringing into the marriage, a payment from her family to her husband’s. It’s meant to help build the new family and also for income security. In the rare (nearly non-existent in Westeros) circumstance of divorce, I believe she gets the dowry back, but if she dies, the money either goes to her children or returns to her family.

- A dower: A dower is a sum of property or income designed to protect a wife if she becomes widowed. Since men are the primary breadwinners in Westeros, this is done so as not to leave a widow destitute. This income or property comes from the groom’s family. If the couple divorces, she does not get the dower (although some societies allow her to keep it if she has just cause, I doubt Westeros works like that). This money is traditionally given to the bride by the groom on the morning of the wedding. This money is HER’S. Unlike the dowry, which is often used by both spouses, her husband cannot touch her dower. Usually this means her representative (usually a male relative) is in charge of executing it, but she can be bequeath it to whoever she wants.

- A bride price: A bride price is money paid by the groom’s family to the bride’s. This is meant as a sort of ‘thank you’ for raising her and also to compensate them for the loss of their daughter - physically, emotionally, and financially. Calculating these can be complex and depend on numerous factors. Appearance, skills, how smart she is, how healthy she is, etc. I’m fairly sure this is what Cersei refers to as ‘selling women off like livestock’. In the case of divorce, you can get the bride price back in many societies, and some also allow you to get it back if she dies (particularly if she’s childless). I imagine that’s much the same in Westeros.

8) There are at least two feasts traditionally thrown for the wedding - a welcoming one to welcome all the guests, and the actual wedding feast.

9) It’s traditional to throw a hunt just before the wedding. All the men in the wedding party and any ladies who wish to accompany them are allowed to go. This is done as a show of magnanimity by the lord who is supposed to open his land to his guests, and also to provide sport for the restless party. In return, anything caught on the hunt is supposed to go on the lord’s table for the wedding feast.

10)  Different regions have different local traditions for a wedding day. Case in point, the Reach has a wedding breakfast where the bride and groom SEPARATELY receive their gifts. 

11) Ceremonies vary by religion

- The Faith of the Seven: This one is LONG. It begins with the septon in a sept reciting several prayers and readings. The groom is between the alter of the Mother and Father but the bride is outside the room. Next, the bride is presented, being walked down the Isle by her father or a close male relative (or, sometimes, a liege lord if a close male relative isn’t there). The bride is on the left and the groom to the right. The father presents the bride to the groom, and the groom lifts her veil (if she’s wearing one). The groom removes his bride’s maiden’s cloak (or bride’s cloak if she’s a widow) and gives her one of his own house. The septon says they’re there to join them in a union, and ties their hands together in a ritual knot. They make their final vows, kiss, and the guests applaud. Guests stand in two columns in front of the couple to watch the wedding. 

- The Old Gods of the Forest: The ceremony is performed by the head of the groom’s family. It’s at night, in the godswood, in front of a weirwood preferably. The guests carry torches to watch. The bride is led by her father (or again, a close relative). The person performing the ceremony asks who comes before the old gods and a few ritual lines are exchanged where the man gives the bride. The officiator asks the bride if she will take the groom, and when she says yes, the couple hold hands and kneel before the heart tree for a moment of silent prayer and then they’re done. The groom removes the maiden’s (or bride’s) cloak, give them a cloak of their husband’s house, and carries her to the feast in his arms.

- The Drowned God: They’re officiated by a priest of the Drowned God and tend to be very solemn. Salt wife weddings tend to be more fun, and that is all we know. Since Drowned God priests seem to do their ritual work on the shore, it seems probably iron born weddings are at the beach. I wonder if they have to drown for them? Maybe they wade into the water or get water dunked all over them. We’re not sure. We’ve never seen an iron born wedding. Since the Drowned God is an offshoot of the Old Gods, they likely also have some sort of bridal cloak custom, probably after whatever blessings and ritual immersion in water is done.

- R’hllor: The ceremony is conducted by a member of the clergy. The bride is escorted to the clergy person who asks the bride to identify herself and who comes to claim her. They ask the bride and groom if they will share their fire with their spouse to be to warm them when the night is dark and full of terrors. The bride and groom jump over a bonfire built in a ditch and by doing so, their souls become one to the Lord of Light. Then the groom removes the maiden’s (or bride’s) cloak and gives her the cloak representing his house.

12) After the wedding, there’s the reception. This has dancing, music, poems, basically whatever kind of entertainment you want (which is likely regional). This is all done along with the wedding feast. There might be tourney to celebrate, but melee’s aren’t traditional (I’m sure they occur but it’s not a custom). ALSO. IMPORTANT - It is considered bad luck to deny a knight your hospitality on your wedding day. 

13) At the end of the feast, the highest ranking person in attendance calls for the bedding. Men carry the bride off, stripping her clothes and telling dirty jokes, women do the same with the groom, and sometimes they might be yelling encouragement or advice outside the door (or, god forbid, witnesses). This is done to ensure consummation. Not all weddings require a bedding ceremony, but Westeros does require consummation. This seems to be a custom for the Faith, the Old Gods, and the Drowned God, so it’s a universal across Westeros. After this the wedding is over. From this point on, they are married and if you don’t like it, well it just sucks to suck. And even if the wedding isn’t consummated for whatever reason, it’s bad luck for spouses to sleep apart on their wedding night. Brides are expected to be maidens (i.e. virgins), but if the couple gets married later, it’s not considered dishonouring (sex without a later betrothal was likely the dishonour Ashara experienced at Harrenhal, as it would have impacted her marriageability - not ruined it completely, you can marry somewhat decently even if you’re not a virgin, but definitely having an impact).

14) Women may or may NOT take their husband’s name. If they’re of the same rank, it’s pretty much up to her. If she outranks him, she very well might continue using her higher status maiden name. Plenty of women use their husband’s name and in fact most likely do, but it’s not a requirement in Westeros (at least, not among the same ranked or when the woman is higher).

15)  Annulment is incredibly hard to get in the Faith of the Seven - you better hope the High Septon or the Council of Faith is inclined to give you one (this is easier if its not consummated, the marriage is bigamous, there was an unbroken prior betrothal, or if the vows were made under false pretences, but it’s possible even if you’ve consummated or had children - Renly didn’t think it was impossible for Cersei to be set aside in favour of Margaery, Tysha and Tyrion’s marriage was annulled, etc) and while you don’t need to be there for it, you need to make the request yourself. It’s easier to just move apart. Or, if you’re THAT committed to getting away, you could join the Faith or Night’s Watch. 

Note: It’s much much easier to annul a marriage in the Old Gods religion (and, likely, the Drowned God as well) - all you need to do is tell your spouse that they’re no longer your spouse in front of public witnesses, at least according to Elio and Linda’s correspondence when discussing The World of Ice and Fire. R’hllor might require permission from the clergy in addition, but I find that unlikely for the Ironborn, since they seem fairly independent and in many ways closer to the Old Gods simplicity. I’m not sure if there are any special conditions to make this announcement but if they exist, they would likely be similar to grounds for annulment in the Faith of the Seven (with the exception of bigamy for the ironborn - they really really don’t care about that). Honestly, even if they don’t have conditions that doesn’t necessarily mean an unhappy marriage will be annulled since that requires spitting in the eye of the family you’re trying to make an alliance with. Breaking a betrothal is messy enough, breaking a marriage is just BEGGING for trouble. 

[melbynews-blog]

May Diary: The Forever War, The Diverse Army, And The Vanishing White Male, Etc., by John Derbyshire

Neuer Beitrag veröffentlicht bei https://melby.de/may-diary-the-forever-war-the-diverse-army-and-the-vanishing-white-male-etc-by-john-derbyshire/

May Diary: The Forever War, The Diverse Army, And The Vanishing White Male, Etc., by John Derbyshire

This month of course ended with Memorial Day, when we remember those who died serving in our country’s armed forces. The Derbs got a more forceful reminder at the very beginning of the month.

Around noon on Tuesday, May 1st my son Danny came into the study to tell me a soldier from his former unit had been killed in Afghanistan the previous day.

The fatality was Spc. Gabriel D. Conde, killed April 30th by small-arms fire in a district northeast of Kabul “while providing security for a U.S. Special Operations unit.” A second U.S. soldier was wounded in the same operation.

Spc. Conde was serving with the 3rd Battalion of the 509th Parachute Infantry Regiment. That was Danny’s unit too, until his four-year term ended last year. They were actually in the same company (though different platoons). Danny knew Spc. Conde quite well. The unit has since been deployed in Afghanistan.

Spc. Conde came from Loveland, Colorado. He was the second U.S. combat fatality in Afghanistan this year, the first having been Sgt. Mihail Golin of Fort Lee, NJ, killed on New Year’s Day while on patrol near Jalalabad in the far east of Afghanistan.

If military schedules had been different by a few months, that could have been Derb, Jr. under fire April 30th. As parents we have the obvious parental feelings about this. What his feelings are, I don’t know. He has maintained a proper soldierly reserve. In any case he mainly keeps his feelings to himself, like his Dad.

What Spc. Conde’s parents are feeling, I think I can imagine. Our heartfelt condolences to them in their grief, and to all who mourn loved ones on Memorial Day.

It’s hard to read of Spc. Conde’s death without feeling anger at our damn fool stupid brainless politicians.

Military.com ran a headline that tells it all: Gabriel Conde Was 5 When the War That Took His Life Began. It Shows No Signs of Ending. [By Richard Sisk, May 3, 2018] From the article:

Army Spc. Gabriel D. Conde’s short life spanned the history of U.S. involvement in Afghanistan since Sept. 11, 2001, from the euphoria over the fleeting early successes to the current doubts about the new strategy to break what U.S. commanders routinely call a “stalemate.”

When Conde was six years old, then-National Security Adviser Condoleezza Rice said the Taliban had been defeated and the Afghan people were now free “to create a better future.”

[There follow eight more paragraphs of cheery uplifting talk about light at the end of the tunnel from Donald Rumsfeld, George W. Bush, Barack Obama, and Donald Trump.]

Last week, the Taliban announced the start of its 16th annual spring offensive.

Politicians are of course necessary to the functioning of an orderly nation. No doubt most of them are decent enough in their private lives. Some appear to be quite intelligent. Plenty of them are clearly trying to do the best for the country, each by his own lights.

There are times, though, there are times when the only thing you want to say about politicians is: God damn them all to Hell.

“I beseech you, in the bowels of Christ, think it possible you may be mistaken.” I’m always ready, in a spirit of proper epistemic humility, to yield to Oliver Cromwell’s beseechment. So in that spirit I ask: Is it possible that I am wrong, that the war in Afghanistan is not a futile waste of American lives and money?

One approach here is to seek out commentators whose opinions you generally respect, to see if any of them makes a plausible case for the opposite of what you believe.

OK: here was Daniel Greenfield, who I agree with much more often than not, posting at FrontPageMag.com on Memorial Day. Title of the post: “How Can We Honor the Soldiers of an Endless War?.”

The era of wars that began and concluded neatly, with declarations, speeches, rules, objectives, deciding battles and signed peace accords, ended before the oldest active duty soldier serving today was born.

The men and women who fight and die, leaving their families never knowing if they will return, and in what form, serve not in wars, but endless police actions, peacekeeping missions, terrorist pursuits and nation building exercises …

The Islamic resurgence has placed us in a state of permanent war. We may debate over which fronts that war should be fought on, but only the left can deny that the conflict itself is inescapable. We may fight it in Iraq or in New York, in Syria or in Sweden, the front lines may shift, but the war won’t go away.

And yet, paradoxically, this form of fighting takes us back to the origins of our military.

The heritage of the US Army goes back to the provincial regiments that fought in colonial territorial disputes with the French and defended the colonies against Indian raids … If you think the Afghanistan and Iraq wars are endless, the Indian wars arguably went on for 300 years …

That’s not much of an argument. Those wars that “concluded neatly” did so because we applied massive and relentless force, to the point where the enemy knew they were thoroughly beaten. We don’t do that any more. Rubble doesn’t make trouble.

I’m obliged to Greenfield for permission to “debate over which fronts that war should be fought on.” Here’s my contribution to that debate.

Let’s stop all Muslim immigration and require all resident Muslim non-citizens to leave. We may still have issues with our own Muslim citizens, but I see no reason those issues couldn’t be handled by ordinary law-enforcement procedures under our Constitution.

ORDER IT NOW

As for “the Indian wars arguably went on for 300 years” Well, yes, arguably they did, because they were conflicts over the ownership of territory. Were North American lands to be settled and farmed by Europeans, or kept as the hunting and tribal-war preserves of the indigenes?

Are Americans clamoring to be allowed to settle and farm in Afghanistan and Iraq? First I’ve heard of it.

Daniel Greenfield is a smart guy who writes a lot of thought-provoking good sense. This piece, though, is a turkey.

Still on the military beat: Last month I commented on some recruiting pamphlets a friend had showed to me. He passes by a recruiting booth on his way to work every day, and, although much too old for service himself, has developed an interest in the esthetics of these brochures.

This month he passed on some more.

Exhibit A: LEADERS FOR LIFE: The Making of an Army Officer. This is a beautifully-produced sixty-page booklet showing on the cover a white female, an East Asian male, and a black male.[Abridged PDF here.]

To be fair, the interior illustrations aren’t as distorted as that. I counted an actual majority of white males, 65 to 43; and that is not counting the scattering of historical photographs from the World Wars. The two-page spread on Special Forces (pp. 46-47) shows nine soldiers, every one of them a white male.

There is some slight discounting needed for the care with which the booklet’s publisher lets us know, by showing uniform name patches, that some of the white guys are Hispanic (Alvarado, Martinez) or Arab (Farid).

Exhibit B: A 34-page U.S. Army Education Program Guide. On the cover, a female who I think is East Asian. Of the 48 people I could identify on a quick scan through, only twelve were white males. Females were an actual majority: fourteen white, twelve black.

Exhibit C: The Making of a Soldier, a light 24-page introduction to the Army. The cover shows a black male. White males are comparatively well-represented inside, though: I counted nineteen out of thirty.

My summary: While the interior illustrations to these publications are merely unbalanced, the cover art is flagrantly, unashamedly anti-white-male.

As with Mars, so also with Venus.

The Mrs and I had the idea to take a weekend break at one of those adults-only hotels in the Poconos. You know the kind of place: heart-shaped jacuzzi, view over a lake, a bowl of strawberries dipped in chocolate waiting in your room, that sort of thing. Yeah, yeah, I know it’s corny. We’re an old-fashioned couple; corny works for us.

I accordingly went on the internet and googled “romantic weekend getaway poconos.” There they were, a good choice of hotels. Heart-shaped jacuzzi, check: view of lake, check: chocolate-dipped strawberries, check.

The thing that struck my eye, though, in the promotional websites for these places, was the extraordinary numbers of photographs showing a black man with a white woman. I put together a montage without trying very hard at all. (Looking closer, I think one of the ladies there may be high yaller; but she’s still way paler than the guy.)

I have nothing against miscegenation — how could I have? — but do they really have to bang us over the head with it like this?

And perhaps I shouldn’t pick out the love hotels for special scrutiny. It’s like this all over. Audacious Epigone tweeted this the other day:

Taken from too far away and observation’s blasé but as I walked the dog tonight I did a census on the posters lining the outside of the Walgreens down the road from home:

4 black women 2 black men 2 white women 1 asian woman 1 hispanic woman 0 white men

City is 80% n-H white btw

Louis Farrakhan, tweeting on May 27th, called for an end to white men. It looks like the people who prepare advertising and promotional displays are way ahead of him.

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As mentioned in Radio Derb’s royal wedding coverage, I have been reading Ed West’s book 1215 and All That. It’s great fun; a sort of grown-up version, with a good bibliography, of the Horrible Histories my kids used to enjoy.

West is very good on how boozed-up the Later Middle Ages were. Writing about the reign of King John (1199-1216), he tells us that:

As a basic rule, everyone in medieval Europe was drunk most of the time, with the typical English peasant consuming on average eight pints of beer per day. There was often no clean water to drink in cities, and it was not until the seventeenth century that coffee and tea brought alternatives to slowly getting off one’s face all day long. Besides which, few people had jobs that required intellect and sobriety and life was pretty awful when sober.

The actual process of getting drunk eight hundred years ago doesn’t sound like much fun.

Beer at the time would have been absolutely disgusting, close to the texture of porridge as it wasn’t until the fourteenth century that hops were introduced from the Low Countries … Not even the most daring hipster has ever tried to recreate thirteenth-century ale as a statement of irony or quirkiness.

The upper classes at least had wine to drink, though, right? Well:

Peter of Blois wrote of the wine at Henry II’s court that “it turned sour and moldy, thick, greasy, stale, flat and smacking of pitch … I have sometimes seen great lords served with wine so muddy that a man must need [to] close his eyes and clench his teeth, wry-mouthed and shuddering …”

Hoo boy. It would of course be annoyingly Pinkerish of me to observe that we are very fortunate to be living in 2018 rather than 1918, or 1618, or 1218.

And possibly, on the gripe homeostasis principle, the general level of human dissatisfaction with life has not varied much through history.

Possibly. I can report, though, that after reading Ed West’s book my dinner-time glass (all right, glasses) of supermarket Pinot Grigio seemed strangely to taste better than before.

Our thirteenth-century ancestors may have endured wretched lives in a drunken stupor, but surely they had the consolations of faith, didn’t they?

Not all of them. Ed West:

Peter of Cornwall, prior of Holy Trinity, Aldgate, complained in 1200: “There are many people who do not believe that God exists, nor do they think that the human soul lives on after the death of the body. They consider that the universe has always been as it is now and is ruled by chance rather than providence.”

King John was likely one of those people.

He apparently did not take Holy Communion after childhood, nor did he receive it at his coronation, which was considered shocking for the time. He openly ate meat on Fridays and hunted on feast days, blatantly breaking religious rules. Like his father, he found attending church unbelievably boring and he didn’t even pretend to make an effort.

I have nursed a mild personal resentment against King John since my schooldays. It seemed unfair that the only English King with whom I shared a name was such an unprincipled rogue, which indeed he was. We all knew A.A. Milne’s lines:

King John was not a good man — He had his little ways. And sometimes no one spoke to him For days and days and days.

Subsequent Johns in the British royal line haven’t fared well. There have been very few Johns in line of succession to the throne since the thirteenth century. John of Gaunt (1340-99) was the only really noteworthy one. He never made it to the throne, but he begat the Lancastrian line of kings that provided Shakespeare with so much material.

In recent centuries there have been few royal Johns. The present queen’s father had a brother John, but he was an epileptic and died aged 13. The Windsors seem otherwise to have shunned the name John.

The New York Times may be vexed by John supremacy but royalty-wise, we Johns are an under-represented minority.

Say what you like about medieval life, there was plenty for everyone to do.

Medieval Europeans were traditionally placed in one of three classes: those who fought, those who prayed, and those who worked. The lords and knights didn’t go fighting every day, and not many of us would think of praying as work. Women mostly minded the house and raised children. Only peasants and artisans did work-work — work as we nowadays understand it.

Here’s a new book that poses the interesting question: How much of the work we do today actually has any point?

Some of it does, of course. Cops, surgeons, farmers, and plumbers do things that need doing. David Graeber, however, the author of Bullshit Jobs: A Theory, thinks a great deal of today’s work is pointless. Graeber[Email him] is Professor of Anthropology at the London School of Economics.

From the Amazon blurb:

There are millions of people — HR consultants, communication coordinators, telemarketing researchers, corporate lawyers — whose jobs are useless, and, tragically, they know it. These people are caught in bullshit jobs.

I haven’t read Graeber’s book, but I read the summary in the May 20th New York Post and didn’t find much to disagree with. Here are the top seven bullshit jobs according to that summary:

Compliance workers in banking and finance.

Student-paper writers. “Writing essays and term papers for college students is now a huge industry in the United States, with agencies employing thousands of paper writers.” Really? I honestly did not know this.

Telemarketers. “I don’t know if I’ve ever met a single call-center worker who didn’t both hate their job and felt everyone would be better off if no one had to do it.” This I believe.

Middle management. “Most middle managers secretly feel they might as well be digging holes and then filling them in again all day.” Never been one but I’ve reported to several, and … yep.

Corporate lawyers. Only corporate ones?

Movie executives. Huh?

Academic administrative staff. “There are hosts of new provosts, vice chancellors, deans and deanlets and even more, who all now have to be provided with tiny armies of assistants to make them feel important.”

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The only surprise to me in that list is that college administrators are at number seven. If there is any place in our society where the sheer density of bullshit jobs is high enough to warp spacetime, it surely has to be the administrative buildings of an average college.

Is there any institution of higher education anywhere in the U.S.A. today that does not have a Dean of Diversity and Inclusion with a raft of Associate Deans, Sub-Deans, Directors, Assistant Directors, Administrative Assistants, and Deputy Administrative Assistants to keep the place flawlessly diverse and inclusive?

I’d argue in fact that the contribution these jobs make to the gross national well-being is not merely null — you could say that of a lot of jobs; if you wanted to be unkind, you might even say it of mine — but actually negative. If they were all laid off tomorrow, we’d be a better country.

In last month’s diary I included a segment titled “Heard around the house,” in which I played back some idioms and catch-phrases I heard from my parents’ generation when I was a child.

Here’s one I missed. It came up in the news this month. An English gent, name of Jim Booth, 96 years old and a veteran of D-Day, was attacked by an intruder.

Joseph Isaacs, 40, knocked on Jim Booth’s door and offered him a good rate on roof repairs on November 22 last year.

When Mr Booth refused, Isaacs launched his attack, hitting the veteran with a claw hammer on his head and arms while shouting “money, money, money.”

The reason it’s just now in the news is that Isaacs was sentenced on May 25th: twenty years for attempted murder.

What got my attention was Jim Booth’s philosophical attitude to the attack: “Worse things happen at sea,” he told reporters.

That was my mother’s stock reaction to minor household calamities: burst pipes, broken glassware, childhood scrapes and bruises: “Worse things happen at sea.”

I’ve used it around my own household. For some reason my daughter, born 1993, took a strong dislike to it.

Thump! or Crash! as someone or something fell or broke.

Me: “Never mind, honey. Worse things happen at sea.”

She: “Da-ad! Don’t say that!

Is this a generational thing, I wonder? Are we geezers better attuned to the fact that life includes an irreducible portion of small misfortunes? Do youngsters, on the other hand, derive some kind of psychic nourishment from indignation or resentment at the world’s imperfections?

Do they? It might be so.

The Daily Mail frequently posts a brainteaser. Most are trivial; this one is comparatively challenging.

On the coast there are three lighthouses.

The first light shines for 3 seconds, then is off for 3 seconds.

The second light shines for 4 seconds, then is off for 4 seconds.

The third light shines for 5 seconds, then is off for 5 seconds.

All three lights have just come on together.

When is the first time that all three of the lights will be off together?

When is the next time that all three lights will come on at exactly the same moment?

John Derbyshire [email him] writes an incredible amount on all sorts of subjects for all kinds of outlets. (This no longer includes National Review, whose editors had some kind of tantrum and fired him. ) He is the author of We Are Doomed: Reclaiming Conservative Pessimism and several other books. He has had two books published by VDARE.com com:FROM THE DISSIDENT RIGHT (also available in Kindle) and FROM THE DISSIDENT RIGHT II: ESSAYS 2013.

The Unz Review: John Derbyshire Quelle

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[whydoyouthinkileft]

aos spoilers

having my breakfast - at 12:30 and so excited about this ep because of reasons so let's go

-btw watching the previously I just remembered Kasius and the other alien lady having their talks (Because he wants to leave that planet) and trying to top each other while also trying to sound like they don't hate each other's guts?  It was hilarious to me, it was like watching ANY conversation between people in my town ever (incidentally, my town if you live in it long enough does give you the feeling you are trapped underground waiting for giant roaches to suck the life out of you)

-oh hello lil cute boy -how old is he? is it me being weirdly old if I say that?

-oh even the white slave-owner guy has a soft spot for him?

-NO HE DROPPED THE FRUIT

-I feel like I'm too invested in him eating already

-senator Gaius whatever is also someone I could see living in my town

-thaaaaat's the scene from the promo. also can you imagine if ALL the people there are lying their asses off to look more evil?

-he looks soooo fantastic to me, I love cowboy in space clothes

-OOHHHHHHHH -the look on his face and lack of breath -I died fifty days over it -Kasius should have just been in something like Desperate Housewives -also I'm starting to find funny how he reads what Sinara says just from her expression and she never has to talk -Jemma looking at space and being deaf OH MY GOD FITZ. IS HE GONNA TALK. IS HE GONNA GO ALL I LOVE YOU I WANNA MARRY YOU HAVE MY BIOCHEMENGINEER BABIES and she's gonna walk away? -oh my god. He realized the universe can't stop them, they are stronger than curses. Now that she's deaf. He needs to repeat it. And then let her make fun of him for the curse thing for other 74 years -I FUCKING KNEW IT. I KNEW HE'D PROPOSE -nooooooooooooo the deaf thing -'oh are they' Fitz would love to kill him, wouldn't he -OH MY GOD HE'S TOUCHING HER FACE IN FRONT OF FITZ -Of course Kasius would appreciate that sentiment from Fitz. If all he's going to use from the Doctor is talking about bullshit and pain like a villain would, give those speeches, while he doesn't believe in a word he says and the actual bad guy there is like 'uuhhh this is my new friend' I'm here for it. This is basically high school and becoming popular. -Also still here if Jemma wants to break a pitcher on Kasius's face though -I am worried though because Jemma wasn't 100% chill when she saw Fitz's face -oh my god the look on Fitz's face after Kasius walked away -Tess just quoted me with 'soft spot' for the kid. I'm Tess now. -Flint 'if I turn I won't have to beg around' yeah well he's NOT WRONG, mind you -is Jemma going to mother this one too and then Daisy will train him? -AAAHHHH FITZ AND JEMMA -the hatred on Kasius' face whenever he speaks to all people who are supposed to be on his same level or higher makes me laugh, I'm so sorry -they are just so... mundane about 'uhhh your daddy gave your big brother the big job and you are stuck in here lmao' -evil eyes of hatred- -I'm glad Daisy is befriending the mind-reader, he's adorable -also he didn't expect her to go all 'I'm sorry' and he's even more adorable -no seriously they seriously could be living in my town -Fitz. Fitz don't fuck this up, my boy. -the almost smile when he describes it tho, that kinda sells it as him being a bitch so... good -what is that snail thing, also I TOO FIND MOIST CREATURES (and stuff that changes from hard to soft depending on the bite, and really most meat) DISTASTEFUL BUT NOBODY LAUGHS WITH ME WHEN I SAY IT AND REFUSE TOT IT, THEY CALL ME SPOILED. ALSO I RAN OUT OF THE ROOM IF THERE ARE SNAILS BECAUSE NO. Next fucking time we have a dinner with other people I'm going to talk with that attitude and slam the food on the plate and wait for someone to laugh. I'll instruct my little brother to laugh and make other people feel like they have to laugh -sidenote: the jackass who brought it up attempting to laugh along not sure of what's happening is amazing. I don't know which one of those guys is really the loser in the real tvshow that is going on in there. Kasius, cast away and trying to climb up the ladder and become a Big Shot, the snails guy who is soooo loud and soooo friendly and everybody knows he's just desperate to keep being in the inner circle, or what -HAHAHA the Kree discussing why the kid disappeared like. Even before they looked around like 'did we crush the kid' 'how did he disappear, what did we do wrong? look under your shoes' and now 'maybe his power is to disappear' 'nah' I can see these Kree driving a car and talking why they stopped -lmao 'you mean this guy?' 'no he's just cool' -Mack looks proud of himself- you are cool, Mack. You are big enough you don't need superpowers -at this point Kasius and others are just courting Fitz -MAY, IT'S MAY. MAY WILL FIGHT HIM. GET THE HELL OUT. also he KNOWS Jemma and Daisy were laying and how the ell idd he find out her name is Melinda May -Melinda and Fitz looking at each other like that, oh my god. And she hasn't seen what happened of Jemma yet after she let her go -is... Fitz... bromancing Kasius to trick him? what is this episode?? this is also perfect because Fitz's superpower since s2 has been to befriend EVERY person he met and get a circle around him super fast, first Hunter and Mack and then Hunter and Coulson, then he grabbed Bobbi too, befriended Radcliffe super fast, like, of course he can use his 'father's memories (with Jemma watching like a hawk - with impared sight) to get to Kasius. Fitz in this episode is me in high school, I'm not even kidding anymore. You gotta fit in to survive, so fit in in a way that will make people fight to sit next to you without even lying -is telepath boy going to tell May how to behave because he SHOULD -lmao May hitting him without thinking and succeeeding, bet he didn't see that coming -if it wasn't for her leg he'd in a world of trouble -LMAO KASIUS' FACE when Fitz went 'this fight bores me' -he just insulted May's age and just... her face. -the horror at Flint not knowing what tacos are -we finally know Elena's terrigen story lol -oohhhh my god white guy needs to die -he's about to kill him because he lied, oh my god, OH MY GOD, BEN. NO. NOOOO. DON'T DO THIS. -FITZ, don't try to control Kasius too hard, he'll know -one more death in Daisy and Jemma's conscience oh my god are you kidding me poor sweet Ben -oh the white guy had a second when asking about the prophecy and he might buy it later -aw Jemma and Daisy, with Jemma being able to hear -'there was nothing you could do' 'I have to kill him' 'you'll have to get in line'  just... Jemma, of all the people, always reassuring others that it's not their fault, but also REALLY, let Jemma kill at least one person who humiliated and hurt her instead of having her fail and get someone else to do it? -I KNEW IT. I KNEW JEMMA LIKED THE CARDIGANS, PREFERRED THEM. I'M THINKING OF S2. THEY WERE SO SOFT LOOKING -I love that their having girls talk in the middle of this too because oh god they are 29-30, and yes, they have been through hell, and in situations like this people don't necessarily act like super efficient zombies, they find humor, they find reasons to chat with friends, they still smile, and I always found unrealistic when in tvshows, including aos, they were only shown super serious ALL the time. -Daisy the shippers is back. Which I don't know why people don't like or find weird because honestly, I ship my friends with their loved ones when they are so in love -Jemma has a knife. Jemma KEEPS STEALING KNIVES AND WILL STAB PEOPLE, YES -Elena being tortured twice now -uh oh controlling rocks. BREAK HIS HEAD. CRACK HIS HEAD OPEN. YES FLINT -also the loooook between Jemma and Fitz was so lovely, they almost got to talk -Kasius is peacocking so much over his brother -oh they have a plan B, alright -oh wow Kasius' brother is such a sweetie, 'there is no honor to be found in this human cesspool'. that's kinda my attitude when they force me to go out for holidays. -oh yeah, Kasius 'pleeease Sinara fight for me' and then trying to talk her into not being mad at him lol. Also yes for Sinara dying. Fuck you.  You kept killing people with your stupid-ass balls. Your turn now. -jesus for a second I thought they had hung Tess for her neck -IS SHE? DEAD?? NO??????!!! -Daisy's look is so cool tho -KILL SINARA. KILL HER, KILL -aw shit they have a barrier -break her neck, break HER NECK -NO KILL HER. KILL HER FOR REAL. -JEMMA FUCKING SLIT KASIUS' THROAT I'M SO ALIVE FOR THIS, ALSO FOR DAISY FLYING UP LIKE THAT OH MY GOD -OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK -THEY HAD A REUNION KISS FOR FUCKING ONCE -JEMMA PROPOSED TOO AND HE ZFHAADSKJHFKDF -THEN THEY PICKED UP DAISY I'M SO -AND FITZ TALKING ABOUT HOW HE PROPOSED EARLIER THO I'M GOING TO HAVE A HEART ATTACK -honestly I said that I didn't want them to propose and get married until they were a little healthier but that can be solved writing fanon, when it comes to canon, if... Fitz managed to somehow work through his doctor issues and just needed one last push from Hunter (maybe that's also what happened in those six months) and to not be holding back on his love for Jemma anymore because he's completely there and not worrying about the cosmo... then I guess it's fine? honestly, I'm a sucker for this sort of thing so I'll just accept it in the show and then write 59494864 things in which they process things slower after the proposal, they'd have been together anyway -I CAN'T HELP IT OKAY I'M JUST EXCITED -ENOCH LIES THE WAY JEMMA LIED IN S1 OKAY, I LOVE HIM 'hello friend' 'who are you' 'I am a Kree as I've always been, brother' -I love everything about them dividing tasks and Jemma finally getting revenge on Kasius and Fitz finishing Sinara after Daisy did her fighting and also Daisy is there to listen to the proposal, I'm laughing oh my god