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#it's not a criticism to you ofc. I too did put some personal trauma related things in my writing
avenger-hawk · 2 years
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Hi Hawk, I've been following your blog for a while. I'm also a writer with an interest in "problematic" subjects, some of which come from personal trauma, others just because I find them hot. Who knows why we like the things we like? The point is, I'm very disturbed by the social justice trends in art and creativity. In a real world scenario, if we can't write about things that aren't "approved of", then we're all fucked. It's hard enough to make art without fear of censorship. 1/2
2/2 I’m worried about the repercussions of this type of thinking. If you take away problematic subjects, what do people expect stories to be about? The real world is extremely problematic. This just shows me that most of these "woke" people are very young, but unfortunately their morals have a real-world impact on the kind of media we consume. I’ll end my rant now. Thanks for defending your right to like whatever you want. I hope you can keep writing, because your prose is very beautiful.
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Hi and thanks for appreciating my writing.
I think that this moralistic trend in fiction killed fandom culture already. These ‘woke’ fans are young, yes, and extremely ignorant. They ignore that not only the real world is very problematic so with certain things they’ll have to coexist with and with others they’ll (we’ll, as humans) try or should try to change things but it’s impossible cause decisions are in the hands of corrupted governments and dictators who don’t give a shit about human rights or environment, so in this shitty world we live in, where people get killed for the color of their skin, where people are killed in shellings because their country is invaded with a pretext, fiction, be it problematic or not, doesn’t matter anything, even less than in a peaceful world where things are all ‘unproblematic’.
Because it’s fiction and fiction should be a safe place to explore things we are interested in even if (or precisely because) they’re dark and dangerous so we wouldn’t do them in real life, or to elaborate certain things, traumas or whatever, or to just enjoy weird stuff.
It’s extremely offensive imo to start moral crusades against a pairing or some fanwork, or to have all these long ass discourse things about some injustice in the fictional world, when in the real world real injustice happens, real r*pe, real genocide happen. And now I feel this even more and I hate fandoms even more because they’re disconnected from reality, or, they engage in some online activism thing abt the current trends, because there are trends for activism too, and they apply them in fiction. Idiots, just do some real activism in the real world instead.
For me it’s too late for everything, because when I was younger and not active in fandoms I remember how much ‘problematic’ stuff there was everywhere and how people either enjoyed it or ignored it. btw I hate the word ‘problematic’ so much, and only now I’m starting to use it, and this is a victory for them too. I remember how when I started being active in the Nar fandom there were little little problems about this, and I see how it is now instead, where people self-censor themselves and their creative works so the 90s% of content is boring and stupid, 5% is ok and 5% is ok but the author apologizes so much that makes it less cool with their words. I see how my fics in the beginning received positive feedback, then less and less, with more hate because how dare I, or with justifications for liking them, as if it’s not only a guilty pleasure but a real sin to atone for.
Like you said, their ‘morals’ have an impact on the media we all consume, so we’ll have more and more ‘wholesome’ boring flat stuff...about s*x and relationships (especially when it’s about lgbt+ fictional stuff...I get that maybe for some life is so shitty that they want only ‘wholesome’ content but for others it’s ok to consume different stuff? I speak for myself and my gf for example, but there are more like us), while violence is always ok. So we’ll keep on having serial killers crime stuff because for some reason they are never included in the problematic stuff even if they indulge in problematic stuff but in the end they catch the bad guys (like Criminal Minds, which idk if it’s still ongoing. I kinda like the characters but I find the way they show serial killers/s*xual maniacs things very disturbing) or those shitty super violent things like The Walking Dead, which was so disgusting but somehow it was ok? Idk. As long as there was no ‘age gap’ or ‘problematic relationship’ cannibals and extreme violence is ok.
I think there is no turning back, not for now. Our generation of fan creations is fucked. We can continue writing, drawing, whatever but we’ll have less and less appreciation because the trend is against us. I can keep on shamelessly admitting what I like but I’ll be more and more cornered in a pit of shame and immorality by puritans. Until I, we (not you specifically but we creators of problematic content) will get tired, bored of this and we’ll grow out of the fandom. Also because like you said they are very young, so they have more time and less ideas of their own, their biggest pasttime in fandom is not creating anything, it’s politicing creators, who, on the other hand, have less time because they are older and because they spend it creating stuff.
It’s a lost battle.
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I'm not sure if this is exactly the right place to say this, but I don't know if there is. And you're a smart person and critical thinker who has talked about this before. If this is totally weird, you can just delete it ofc. I've never properly watched Supergirl but I started reading fanfic around the time my mental health got real bad so it was a comfort thing I didn't bring too much thought to. I really identify with Lena and in the past, part of me has understood her actions-
and I know that they're wrong. The anti-alien rhetoric is obviously an allegory for racism or homophobia. She's violated people's basic human rights. And I'm scared that I'm a bad person because sometimes, I kind of get it. Which is insane because i'm a lesbian enby of color, i mean i get targeted by most of the -ist/ism actions. And I'm also too tired to think about things critically all the time. Supercorp was my comfort fic, content thing-
I knew it was problematic (the whole James thing makes me sick to my stomach, scared and sad) but I didn't know that Lena as a character was written that way. The metaphors never really clicked in my head because I never thought about it, but now I feel absolutely horrible about myself because I like and identify with Lena. I'm not really sure how to move on from here- I'm just tired. I wish there could be just one thing, one piece of media that wasn't prejudiced (granted sg is not the place to go if you want decent rep and the like) and all of those things I said earlier. Its just me somehow trying to justify how I felt and empathized with something I shouldn't have. So yeah, sorry that was really long. I hope you have a lovely day- sorry for the spam
FIRST of all, you’re fine, babe! Both in sending me this and in enjoying The Bad Media. That’s my thesis here: You’re fine. With this in mind, let’s unpack this big ol suitcase:
We’re living in a fandom moment where more than ever before, we’re thinking about the ideas we consume in fiction and how they may or may not affect us. This is a net positive! Fiction is not reality, but it undeniably impacts it, so for this and many other reasons, we should always think critically about what resonates with us and why. Does this mean dissecting every facet of something to find all the ways it might fall in line with oppressive power structures? Absolutely not.
You, as an individual, do not owe anyone an explanation for why you enjoy anything. Period. How you relate to a given character or why you like them is nobody's business but your own.
Supergirl, as a piece of media, is singularly awful in its lackluster lipservice to progressivism while simultaneously refusing to deliver any progressive themes. Socially and politically, it is a useless liberal wet dream. Kara is an immigrant from a dead culture working as the muscle for a secret FBI offshoot with zero accountability for all of the other aliens in diaspora she has rounded up and dumped into a cell without trial. Alex is allegedly a lesbian, but the key points of her endgame relationship are constantly deemed not important enough to get screen time, which is made even more absurd when examined from the angle that this series is marketed directly toward LGBT people. An embarrassing percentage of villains on this show are women of color, which is particularly loud when there are only 2 women in the main cast who aren't white. And "main" is extremely generous, given that Kelly is just there to Give Advice Good and everything M'gann says and does is as dry as toast.
My point here is that the whole show is rotted to its roots, and whatever quietly libertarian or even fascism-enabling bullshit they push onto Lena in a given week is par for the crusty, shitty course. Kara deciding that she's ok with the alien detection device because "there are bad aliens" is a lovely (read: awful) microcosm of why this show sucks so fucking hard. "People are entitled to their opinions" is for debates on whether pineapple goes on pizza, not for whether we should casually out, endanger, and disenfranchise our [insert minority metaphor here] because some of them are mean.
But what I would love for this fandom to wrap its head around, and what I hope you understand, anon, is that just because it happens on the show, doesn't mean we have to give a rat's ass about it. What the hell is The Canon, anyway? Especially in the case for Supergirl, which can't even get its own continuity right. Especially for an IP that has been rebooted dozens of times before and will be rebooted again in the future. We can just decide that Lena realized the horrible injustices she enabled through her position of power. We can even decide that they just didn't happen at all! This is all fake. It's not set in stone. Who came up with it, anyway? A network with a list of buzzwords they want included and a couple of D-tier showrunners cranking down caffeine to meet an absurdly tight deadline. It's not special. I can guarantee that you care about it infinitely more than they do, and you haven't even watched the damn show.
On a more personal level, people who are hurt, depressed, or traumatized have always and will always look for themselves in fiction. Myself included! And despite what lofty platitudes there may be on the matter, suffering does not make us kind. It does not make us better. Sometimes it's just suffering. Often it pulls us further from who we are meant to be. Often it just makes us "worse."
Trauma has made Lena emotionally brittle. A lifetime of manipulation and abuse has taught her to compartmentalize herself and lock her feelings behind a maze of doors. When she does let love in, she accepts it so wild and vulnerable that she can't see the red flags behind the rosy lenses. She latches so hard onto people she deems virtuous that she holds them to a standard none could fulfill. Her pain has to go somewhere, so it oozes out of her, into Non Nocere, into the post-reveal rift. She's a powder keg, and Kara spent 4 years shoveling more gunpowder onto the pile while holding the match between her teeth.
And despite these fatal flaws that make perfect sense through the eyes of Lena's trauma, she is so full of love. Like Kara, her suffering did not make her kind. She is kind in spite of her suffering. These are the characters we are drawn to when we're hurting. Lena’s trauma is an inextricable part of her, but it is not all of her, and neither are her mistakes.
There truly is not and never will be a piece of media that is absolutely innocent of the harmful structures thrust upon us by society, because we ourselves also participate in that society whether we are critical of it or not, whether we strive to change it or not. I'm flawed. You're flawed. Bettering ourselves is not a journey toward an ultimate destination of perfection. It is a garden we nurture in an endless labor of love because the joy that comes from seeing it flourish and change vastly outweighs the work we put into it and the weeds popping up around its unkempt edges. This is a lesson Lena herself could probably stand to internalize. Probably with lots and lots of therapy. Lots. And lots.
So, to circle back to the start of this? You're fine. You recognized the logic in a traumatized character's mistakes because our own gravest errors more often than not stem from the ways we have been harmed in the past. It's what makes Lena (or, at the very least, the many adaptations of Lena that exist in this fandom) a good character. She is, to her core, characterized proof that a crumbling foundation and poisonous soil do not define us. Which is why watching her heal and grow and learn a healthier kind of love is so, so wonderful.
In closing, I think it's worth mentioning that being critical of media does not mean that we stop enjoying the parts of it we like. There is a lot of gold to be pulled from the steaming pile of shit that is CW Supergirl, and that's why we're all here in the first place. So I really hope you can continue to enjoy it in whatever way makes you smile <3
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cloveroctobers · 4 years
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•ALLEGRA BIANCHI•
IG info/bio: @/theeallegrabianchi | 303k followers| Entrepreneur | bad bitches go to therapy thxz 🦭👄
(24) 26 years old
From Swansea, Wales
Ofc she knows who Catherine Zeta-Jones is...her mother literally resembles her and remembers people coming up to her mom countless times asking for a pic growing up, and Allegra hated taking pics for these imbeciles...mainly because the attention wasn’t on her
has a dysfunctional family...
her mother is critical of almost everything she does but at least she paying attention?
and feels her father is neglectful and only seems to be heard when she’s in his face
all they know how to do is scream at each other instead of talking calmly to one another
her mother is of Venezuelan heritage
And Her father is of Italian heritage
her father’s side of the family resides in calabria italy
he named her after his high school gf that passed away due to his irresponsible drunk driving on their senior prom night
Her parents do not have the healthiest of relationships due to her father constantly cheating on her mother in the past...leading to verbal and physical fights
also has a kid or two outside of their marriage because of his unfaithfulness and allegra learned to hate them because of the hurt her mother showcased
In the beginning she was only around them because her father enforced it, that she needed to know her family “blood is all you got in the end.” He would always say but that was bs
Would take her, her half sibs, and her full sibs on day trips/weekend trips in his suburban
Has three full older brothers and one full younger sister
Because of this, Allegra did not have a clear view of what love was supposed to be and felt that anger in a relationship is supposed to be somewhat of the norm?
Many times she wished at night in her bed with a pillow over her head that her parents would just file for a divorce already when their fights would get bad to the point things would get broken and her mother would h*t her father (once with a metal bat) and throw him out of the house
Has had the cops called on their household before and cps definitely has/had a file on them
Has been in family therapy before and is currently in therapy mainly for herself because of the trauma & how it’s messed with her spirit as a person
Loves? Cares for her parents from afar but will never understand their relationship and why they’re still together to this day
Can go months without speaking to any of her family members and be completely fine with that
Had her younger sis, Nerina put her PRIVATE shit on blast via internet after love island aired and completely cut her off since she is “a clout chaser and money hungry bitch who can’t take care of own her child cause she opened her legs to a meth head who loves prison” OOP
she only has a decent relationship with one of her brothers who’s two years older than her, Vito. They seem to be the closest out of the sibs and he’s the only one she bothers to speak to from time to time
She’s a “cocktail entrepreneur” so I’m guessing she has her own business where she specializes in her own cocktail drinks? Working in some upscale rooftop/penthouse bar where she successfully makes profits from her signature drinks or has a brand that focuses mainly on cocktails
It took years for her business to take off and hasn’t been easy, not one bit. At times it felt like everyone wanted to see her fail and she has openly spoken about her struggles as not only a entrepreneur but as a woman in this business where no one wanted to take a chance on her
That just lit the fire that’s already inside of her
Aries sun + Leo moon + Scorpio rising? (Personality vs how you react to things emotionally vs you’re outside shell for those who don’t follow this too much. I’m not too in depth about it but I do find it interesting!)
Or should she be reversed as a Leo sun with a Aries moon? Aries are direct, fiery, one step ahead of others, impulsive, and know how to take charge. Leo’s are dramatic, loves attention, passionate, loyal, warm, and have a need to express their passions, and scorpios are intense, secretive, mysterious, and work strategically
anyways, I feel like she’s definitely improved as a person over the span of two years? Or at least I hope she has cause everyone goes thru changes
And she was frustrating in s1 so I just know she had some deeper issues going on so I really think therapy is helping her ass I wish it would help me lmao
Being cheated on honestly made her feel like her mother, weak in her mind she was with this dude for awhile—3 years and he just up and thought it was okay to cheat on her? With his personal trainer?! Yet he didn’t gain any muscle mass?! The ultimate disrespect!!! but one thing she knew? She wasn’t going to stick around like her mom did
But she was bitter about it foresure. She ultimately wanted to corner the girl for messing with HER man but part of her knew she wasn’t the only one to blame. However that didn’t stop her for cussing her out via voicemail a couple of times while intoxicated
Allegra always strived for love cause she’s never really seen it before or felt it
Sure she’s had many boyfriends before?And their names didn’t matter not only because she didn’t remember them? But she never felt the spark with them in the first place?
Maybe she wasn’t meant for love so she kinda put on this bitchy front and always been that way with some shitty friends she had around her until she recently cut them off a year ago
has gotten herself into trouble as a kid: trespassing, and destroying public property, smoking in the girls bathroom, physical altercations, cutting class, being assigned community service, etc... all with these friends she’s had for years!
Before she met her problematic friends in secondary, when she was in her pre-teen stage she was involved in the handbell team and in the Color guard but hates to admit it even tho her parents have pics all over the flat
went away to uni for a semester and wanted to join a sorority but the hazing was extreme to the point she was sent to the hospital then accepted? Which led to more trauma in her life so she dropped out
A few years later she decided on online courses and moved out of her parents flat as soon as she could with the $ she saved up and did not leave in the house since it was not safe to smh
Therapy was really helping sis, she felt a lot better and was working on her deep rooted issues mainly the anger and hurt and never really realized how it revolves around her life. She was super thankful for her therapist and reshaping herself
Many didn’t buy it but she knew she couldn’t give that much of a fuck? She couldn’t. In order to grow you got to learn that you have to involve for yourself and not others
She didn’t like the person she saw watching the show back but when she came back to the reunion a part of her hoped people saw some sort of change in her—even if it’s only been a few months since the show then
Sometimes she’ll slip back into old habits, wanting and doing so by snapping on people and blacking out by getting intoxicated and knowing that healing is a process and valuing yourself is the exact same
has a toy poodle that she loves deeply
doesn’t have many outside friends after cutting off the ones that were toxic
is pro-ab*rtion and had one herself which was aired out by her sister online
has a cozy flat that has a lot of brick exposure inside, a navy sofa which is her favorite piece in her house, and a view to die for!! which erases the fact that her apartment is “cozy” which she uses to replace the fact that it’s much smaller than what she originally wanted. She dreams big ya know!!!
currently has a crush on her art teacher who resembles Adam Rodriguez
but also feels like liking your teacher/instructor is a bit weird? Even tho they’re both grown
yes she is taking art classes now outside of work to find something that’ll bring her peace and these pass months they have until COVID hit where classes had to be cancelled yet she was contacted to continue online but she felt her art was truly shit but he says art is subjective
She feels like there’s a connection there? But at the same time isn’t looking for another relationship until she fully works on herself first! That took awhile for her to accept after she fell into some relations with a few ppl after the show
from there she realized that she might like girls too? And got a little annoyed that it took her this long to figure out especially with the way she felt around MC and cherry
doesn’t like to admit this but her fav holiday is Christmas? Even tho the theme is majorly corny to her but it actually makes her happy?
Feels like that was the only time her family showed love towards each other, and even tho they didn’t come from much, they always followed thru with their traditions
and she misses them a little bit around this time and might be the first one to call them even if the calls are short lived and kinda awkward at first
Loves making gingerbread houses and cookies
i feel like she now embraces her forearm hair but still gets everything else lasered
Miss Allegra has inches okay?! But I definitely feel like now in 2020 she’s chopping that shit off into a pixie cut and when she posts on the gram her hair is usually always damp when she shows it off
some comments — jake: lovely! Jen: babe, ur beautiful! Erikah: 😍 Tim: how hot! You’ve got the whole resident evil thing goin for yous
“Did he just call me a virus?”
And she might get a like from mason that’ll make her feel some type of way
We all have to go thru some growth you know so do you girl!
You can’t tell me she doesn’t play stabscotch!
Used to be obsessed with social media way before going on love island but lately doesn’t mind disappearing for months at a time? You have to cleanse yourself from that shit
idk i see her being mostly cool with jen or erikah and will hang out with them from time to time? Maybe they experienced some growth too, shit I sure hope so
still feels something for mason??? But at the same time maybe it was mainly superficial since mason wasn’t fucking with her like that, not 100% but at the same time gets frustrated that he still doesn’t see where she’s coming from and it’s been 2 years???
She loves hard if given the chance and then feels like shit when it doesn’t work out cause it feels like she wasted a fuck load of time
she no longer follows him because she feels like it’s better for her spirit or whatever and she doesn’t need to see him with someone else
the only guy that she really interacts with is Tim, yet tim is cool with everybody!
Otherwise there’s no real connection with her and anybody else? She wants to keep love island separate from herself now because she’s not exactly the same as she was two years ago? And hopes someday people will get that
Probably watches those auction shows on the telly late at night when she can’t sleep, hoping and can afford some of those things one days
I feel like she has chronic migraines too?
Once had a significant other buy her Allegra-D in all seriousness for her birthday because it reminded them of her & thought it would help her headaches 🤨
Loves the snow, but hates cleaning it off her car! S/O to those HOA fees, bless it cause leggy’s deff bussed her ass once before breaking her collarbone and sued like a mf!!!
Since her hours are hardly consistent since she’s mainly her own boss, she’ll have late nights/early mornings when she returns home and has to shift days where she cleans the flat but when she cleans??? It’s best everyone stays tf out of her way
And don’t try to help her cause you’re doing it wrong 10/10 of the time, she loves cleaning and has dropped mad money on those super expensive vacuums
Only knows how to make what’s relative to her culture: arepas, penne alla vodka, and cawl but otherwise than that? She’d rather clean then spend hours in a kitchen cooking unless she’s making cocktails ofc!
also loves shopping for clothes but shoes are her fav things to shop for
Deff has a steamer over a iron for her clothes
Keeps eucalyptus and lavender oil in her purse at all times
posts mainly on her stories and made a deal with her supporters that she’ll go live once a month since she feels like she owes them that? Since she’s not as active anymore but she really doesn’t owe anybody shit but out of the newfound kindness of her heart...she does
Believes she got Covid before they all decided to do a shut down/lockdown of restaurants, bars, etc.. and her suspicions were proven correct after she decided to get tested
her anthem? Kali Uchis — Dead to me (acoustic version)
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