#it's really sad and really unfair but no amount of grammar class can make up for systemic issues i'm so so horribly sorry

[touchlikethesun]

sociolinguistics secret: it is impossible to learn how to "talk proper." the prestige speakers are constantly innovating new ways to differentiate themselves from non-prestige speakers, because the reason they discriminate on a linguistic basis has nothing to do with some notion of correctness and everything to do with social hierarchy.

[triciayeerivera]

Cookie Cutter (Blog #1)

Frustrating

F R U S T R A T I N G

Very

Super

Duper

Frustrating

This was what kept repeating on my mind during the last session. With each workshop or activity presented, it became more and more difficult for me to catch up to what the expected output is from me. "Kaya ko naman ito, bakit hindi ko magawa nang maayos?", kept recurring in my mind. Numerous times during the sessions and workshops, I always think and reflect if my students' also feel the same. Do they also feel frustrated when presented with reading exercises? Do they question themselves, "Why can't I do it?".

There were a lot of questions in my mind. With every activity presented, as it gets harder and harder for me to do it, I ask myself if I bring more harm to my students than encourage them. In my want to make them love reading and develop a positive attitude towards reading, do I actually do that? In my want to expose them to more reading opportunities (but at the same time trying to stick to the curriculum the school prescribes), do I tarnish instead of build their attitude towards reading? The workshop activities also made me look back on the behavior of my students for it can be directly a manifestation of frustration over their reading skills. If I, as an adult, would at times groan and react badly during the session. What more my third graders? My third graders who still need exercise with holding on to their emotions. Do their groans indicate more than merely being handed a task? Could their sleepiness inside the classroom mean more than my subject being after lunch? A lot of questions where definitely on my mind and I had them there until I left that classroom, until I was having my Coke float at McDonald's, until I saw my students again the next day. It made me think, am I personifying their frustration? What do my students feel when they see me? Though generally, we have good and fun class times, it makes me think if there are some students would get frustrated, or worse scared, when they see me because it is "Reading time".

Some students do get excited over reading and others are not. When I was younger, "exposure" was something that always came to my mind. Those who were exposed to literature and books at a young age are more accepting of the act of reading other than those who are not or who were provided with fewer opportunities. Years later, though this is seen as a factor in one's attitude towards reading, it is not the SOLE cause. I'll make myself as an example. I grew up with a bookshelf full of books; books for my age range and even beyond. I was exposed to the presence of novels at an early age and they were at my disposal. Yet, as I was hitting the age of 10, I suddenly lost interest in reading longer books. Two factors:

1. I was a slow reader. When I read, I make sure I understand all the words and read them correctly. If not, I immediately go back to it and reread a line of two to understand it better. Due to this, I tend to finish last when reading in class. When we are asked to take out out textbooks, and read a story, I am one of those who finish last.

2. I was ashamed for my pace in reading. When I was 13, my first year teacher was very frustrated on our reading pace as a class during the test, which resulted to most of us not finishing the test. She made us take out our books and read the same story where she timed us. Just my luck, the subject was Filipino, not my strongest subjects. I was the last one to finish in my class, reading a 5 page story in 9 minutes. While I was the last one reading, my teacher asked the class who was not yet done and I was the only one who raised her hand. The looks and stares of my classmates, I can take. They were actually non-judgmental but my teacher suddenly said, "Hindi ka pa tapos? Ang tagal mo naman. Ladies (addresses the class), hindi talaga kayo matatapos se exam kung mabagal kayo magbasa." as I was still reading the last page. This made me really sad and I lost my interest in reading.

Though I may not say these exact words to my students but it suddenly hit me, do my actions indicate or make my students feel that they are not enough?

Whenever my student still manifests difficulty in reading and I have the chance to talk the the parents, I always ask them about reading activities they do at home. Aside from that, I also ask them about the frequency of their daughter's screen time. More often than not, though they provide reading opportunities for their daughters at home, they admit that they do not follow up on their daughter's because they do not have any time. They also let their daughters read the books at home but rarely lets them go book buying so their daughters read the same book again and again. Screen time is also very frequent since, "It is what my daughter wants." Whenever on a trip, a phone or a tablet is easier to carry than a book, which is why they opt to download apps on their gadgets instead of bringing books. I am not discounting the value and importance of gadgets for they really contribute and ease a lot of tasks for us. Yet with the stories I have heard from parents and parent-friends, as well as with what I observe when I am out in public, children (and even adults) are slowly becoming more and more dependent on these gadgets. Are we creating a culture of robotic citizens who stop and drop everything when given a screen in front of them? Are we encouraging children to be slaves to these gadgets for they can do more than us? I go back and remember "modelling" and wonder, if parents and teachers want students to love reading and read more often, do we also a lot time to model this action to them.

Collaboration between the home and the school is very important, if the parents are not willing to provide reading opportunities to their children than there will be no follow up at home. At the same time, the school's curriculum should encourage reading. Giving students a compact subject matter lessens time for opportunities to read and explore books. Teachers need to follow a certain curriculum and students need to flow with this. At times, teachers are given the freedom to adjust their lessons to fit their learners but a certain load of the content still needs to be covered. Less time is given for reading in the classroom. Real, authentic reading. Giving the students the chance to really feel and be one with the story or the book. When worse comes to worst, reading time is sacrificed to give way to grammar lessons since, "they are most important". Students who are also not yet at par with the expected developmental level are seen as "late bloomers" and not given the guidance and assistance that they need. Yet it could also be a result of lack of opportunities in reading. Some students enter the classroom with an extensive experience in reading while others have very limited experience and exposure to reading. This reality poses an uneven ground for students when they enter the reading classroom. While some students are very much exposed to various reading materials, a much more extensive vocabulary, and creative opportunities, others do not have this same amount of exposure. It is unfair for schools to assume that all students are well read before entering the classroom and it is the task of teachers to provide opportunities for them to read more often. Through reading opportunities in school, we all hope that they can bring this at home and start a community of readers in their own homes.

Teachers, even if they are not reading teachers, should be equipped with the basic knowledge on how to spot students who manifest difficulty in reading skills. It is not only in Reading or English classes that these skills are used but across all subject areas. More observations from different teachers can give more evidences or instances if students are in need of help. Teachers should also enlist parents to make sure that preventive measures are not only done in school but also at home. Being inclusive does not only mean fitting in this cookie cutter that society is providing us but truly being inclusive is having multiple cookie cutters available for everyone.