#itd be so cool to not vividly imagine ways to hurt myself
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So tired of my brain sucking all joy out of my already precariously shitty life
#i really need to finish paintings so i can try to nit beg for my entire car insurance note and registration#since monday ive set up in front of my paintings everything in hand and maybe get 1 or 2 strokes in and then spiral#itd be so cool to not vividly imagine ways to hurt myself#im already asking my psych on working on meds but theyre stuck in insurance hell until next week#and if insurance decides to not coverit ill just me -$80 in the hole on top of everything else i cant pay#im so tired#i miss joy#i miss feeling any reason to get out of bed other than im making things worse for people around me
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