#i miss feeling any reason to get out of bed other than im making things worse for people around me

[uuuvas]

So tired of my brain sucking all joy out of my already precariously shitty life

[envy-of-the-apple]

The Monster You Know

Dark!Gojo Satoru x reader

Synopsis: For your own safety, the strongest sorcerer of today kidnaps you.

Word Count: 6.9k

(Warnings: implied masturbation, implied nsfw, implied noncon recording, death of a minor character.....im pretty sure i missed a warning so lemme know any pls)

Instead of waking up in a bed, you find yourself on the floor.

It's not a comfortable spot to sleep in. The carpet is clean, but it's odd because you don't have this type of carpet in your room. Actually, this isn't your room at all. 

But the panic doesn't really set in until you realize your arms are bound. 

You don't notice him until he speaks. You're too busy yanking on the metal, pulling your hand as hard as you could. The cuffs don't even budge. 

"If you keep yanking your arms like that, you might break 'em." 

He's tall, rivaling the door he just walked through. He looks a couple of years older than you, but his white hair can't be natural, not at his age. His blue eyes are lax. The worst part is how relaxed he looks. He has an eased posture and a pretty smile. He's amused, watching you like you’re a pesky mouse trapped in a bucket. 

You don’t know him. You’re stuck in an unfamiliar room, chained to the floor, and you don’t know this man. 

Escape isn’t possible. So you resort to the next best thing: you plead. 

“Who are you?” Your voice is light and wavers on every syllable. “Where-Where am I? Did you bring me here? Please don’t-“

”You always this talkative in the morning?” He dodges your question with a lax grin. “Anyway, uh, sorry about this-“ he gestures to your tied-up form “-I would've used a talisman, but those won’t work on you for obvious reasons. The handcuffs aren’t too tight, are they?” 

He steps closer, and you scream. It’s shrill, filled with a type of fear that makes your blood freeze because you don’t know this man, you don’t know where you are, and he’s getting closer. 

“Okay okay, I get it!” He manages to say over your pleas for help, but he steps back, and it’s enough to quiet your fear. “Obviously, you need some more time alone, so I’m gonna give you a couple more hours. Feel free to take a mint!” He cheerily points to the nightstand. 

He leaves as quickly as he enters. The door shuts but doesn’t lock. You’d be relieved if you weren’t still incapacitated. 

You look around the room. Nothing of value, nothing that you could reach and grab. Apart from a chair, the only other pieces of furniture were a heavy-looking bed and a bolted-down nightstand. Your kidnapper was certainly meticulous. 

The restraints have just enough slack for you to lean over. You peer at the nightstand. A plastic bowl, too flimsy to be made into a weapon. It contains wrapped-white candies. You gingerly pick one up. 

They’re sugar-free. 

He returns to the mints scattered all over the floor. 

“Okay.” He notes, gracefully stepping over the mess. “Clearly, you aren’t a fan of peppermint. 'you a wintergreen kinda’ person?” 

You don’t look at him. You’ve been in the same position you had been in for hours, sitting curled on the floor. By then, your desperation was starting to show through. 

“Please just let me go.” You mutter, your voice so low, it’s a miracle he can hear you. “I don’t have any money. I have nothing to offer.”

”Well, that’s good because I don’t want your money.” He says. “I know this looks pretty bad, but this is for your sake more than mine.”

You look at him just as he squats down to your height. You shift away. he smiles.

”Do you know what sorcerer's are?” 

You blink. 

“It’s fine if you don’t; we all start somewhere, right? A sorcerer is someone who can manipulate cursed energy. I’m a sorcerer! I don’t wanna brag too much, but I’m pretty good at it.” 

He laughs like he’s telling a joke, and you suddenly realize that you were kidnapped by someone who believes he’s a wizard. 

“Guess you’re still lost, huh? How about I just show you instead?” He points to an ironed-out shirt hanging on a rack. You follow his finger. 

He didn't move. There was no machinery. The shirt just crinkled by itself before it dropped to the floor. 

You gape. The man grins. 

"Pretty amazing, right? That's cursed energy, or, my power if you wanna be less technical." 

"Cursed energy." You whisper, a repetition of his words rather than any actual understanding. He beams regardless. 

"Yeah! Well, it's a little more complicated than that, but let's just start with the basics for now. Baby steps." 

Your dread doesn't fade. Earlier, you feared what a man could do to you, tied and defenseless. Now, you wondered what this man wouldn't do to you. 

"Okay, then....why?" You warily ask him. "Why tell me any of this? What's the point?" 

"An excellent question!" He commends you, as though he were your teacher and not your jailor. "See, cursed energy is a bit complicated, but it's extremely effective. In almost every case, it's the solution. Except for you." 

You shrink back. 

"What-what does that mean?"

His grin turns feline. He's enjoying this; seeing you shake, waver beneath his eyes. 

"Exactly what I said: you aren't affected by cursed energy. A sorcerer could use their technique on you, and there won't even be a scratch on your body. You're basically the Eraserhead of the Jujutsu World." 

You stare at him. He hums, drumming his fingers on his thigh. 

"I'm not great at explanations. How about we just have a hands-on experience?" 

He extends his hands. A purple orb crackles to life, slowly gaining mass. 

"Not too big," he says, though it's clear he isn't speaking to you, "don't wanna wreck the room." 

He adjusts his angle so it's facing you. Your eyes widen, and the desperation to wrangle yourself out of the handcuffs grows stronger. 

"Wait, stop!" You pleads fall on deaf ears. "Okay okay. I believe you. I believe you-" He flicks his fingers. You close your eyes just before impact. 

You expected something. Electricity, a shock. Pain. Your body being eviscerated in milliseconds. 

Nothing. Not even a gust of wind. 

When your eyes open, he's grinning at you. 

"See?" He says, "Not even a scratch." 

He's right. Your clothes aren't even rustled, but the evidence is there. The carpet below you is shaved and cleaned off. And the wall closest to you has cracks on it.

You look back up at him. 

"I said I believed you." 

He shrugs. "Doesn't hurt to make sure we're on the same page." His smile is starting to look less scary and more annoying. 

Your mind still struggles to keep up with all the information you've been given. The typhoon of anxiety is coursing through you. 

"So, then....why this?" You mention to the handcuffs. 

"Just a little confirmation you won't go crazy and destroy the place." He supplies happily. "If jujutsu doesn't work on you, then bindings and talismans definitely won't do a thing. Looking back, abduction probably wasn't the greatest idea in the world. I would've figured something else out, but time wasn't on our side in this case. Especially if we wanted you alive." 

You pale at that. He notices. 

"What, you thought I'd be the only person who noticed you? You're an anomaly. In our world, that's dangerous. Also, the bounty on your head is a pretty nice incentive for people to get the job done." 

"A bounty?"

He grins, and the number he gives makes your mouth hang open. 

"Yup, pretty crazy, right? Anyway, until everything settles down, you and I are roomies!" He claps. "Isn't that exciting!?" 

You glance at him. Then, in the room. Then, at your cuffs. Everything was going so fast. The only constant was him. 

"So, I'm not really a prisoner?" You ask. "I could just...leave, right?" 

"Sure you could. If you hear all that and still wanna go, I won't stop you. Promise." He nods. "But you'd be dead as soon as you step out of the apartment." 

It's not a threat. It's a promise. And not from him. That makes it worse. 

This is insane. All of this is insane; who'd believe any of it? But his powers....that can't be faked. As well as everything that he told you. Why would he lie? What reason could he have to deceive you? 

"Okay," you say hesitantly, "just one more thing." 

The man leans in. 

"What's your name?" 

He smiles. 

Becoming Gojo's roommate was an easy transition. 

You’ve always been someone who goes with the flow. Becoming someone's consenting captive isn't a struggle once you get used to it. A few days in and you and your 'captor' have fallen into an easy rhythm. It's easy to grow trusting of him, especially when there are others who can vouch for him. 

"You should be arrested." Ieiri mumbles, checking your wrists. 

"What? I can't believe you're upset with me." Gojo responds though he doesn't sound very panicked. "I was desperate!" 

Ieiri shakes her head, continuing wrapping your wrists. Amid your panic during the first few hours in Gojo's apartment, you managed to sprain your wrists, trying to yank yourself out of the handcuffs. You wince when she presses on your bruised skin. 

"Sorry," she says, voice flat. You smile anyway. 

Ieiri was also a sorcerer, but she had a different technique. Instead of Gojo's destruction, hers revolved around healing. You've never really seen it in action ("My technique won't work on you; even then, it's a sprained wrist. You'll live."), but it sounded pretty powerful. 

"I'm not upset." Ieiri continues. "But I'm surprised you're going along with all this." That sentence is directed at you. 

You shrug while trying to keep still for her. "He was pretty convincing." 

Ieiri raises a brow, before ultimately deciding she doesn't care. 

"Again, I'm very sorry about all this." Ijichi pipes up. Ever since he entered Gojo's flat, he's been doing nothing but begging for your forgiveness for Gojo's abrupt actions. Apologetic, but not very shocked. You're assuming this isn't the first time Gojo has done something like this. 

Gojo's allies were very different from each other, you ultimately decided. 

“We thought we’d have more time to approach you,” he continues with a nervous smile, “we never expected the clans to move so quickly.” 

“Clans?” You ask, “What clans?” 

Ijichi gives Gojo a look. Gojo looks away, whistling. Eventually, Ijichi’s shoulders drop. 

“Some minor clans with dwindling jujitsu sorcerers.” He gives. “And then the bounty happened and well…” he trails off. 

You nod. “So, when will everything go back to normal?”

Gojo grins. Ieiri sighs. It’s Ijichi who gives the most concrete response. 

You look at the three of them. “Or will things ever go back to normal?”

”It’s hard to say,” Ijichi says, “news travels fast in the jujutsu world, but it’s not improbable. Miyashiro will let us know eventually.” 

"Miyashiro?” 

To answer your question, Ijichi pulls out his phone. You stare at a picture of yourself. But you know you’ve never been in that restaurant before. 

“It’s his technique.” Ijichi tells you. “Flesh manipulation. For the time being, Miyashiro will pose as you and can hopefully air out any potential bounty hunters. He’s the perfect man for the job.” 

You nod, a bit skeptical. “Isn’t this a bit dangerous? Aren’t people trying to kill me?” 

Ijichi tucks away his phone. “Miyashiro is one our best. He'll be fine.” He assures. 

Satisfied with your answers, you nod. Ieiri pulls away after she finishes wrapping your hand. Gojo claps his hands together. 

“See, roomie? You’re in great hands!” He chirps. You nod, if only to seem compliant. 

Apart from Gojo himself, Ieiri and Ijichi are the only ones who know about your predicament, his most trusted people. The rest of the world is unaware that there's someone posing as you, nor that you've gone into hiding. Not your friends. Not even your family. ("It's for the best," Ijichi explained when you voiced your worries, "but we promise, once the bounty is down, we'll return you back to your life. It'll be like nothing ever happened.").

Settling in barely takes a week. Gojo's nice enough to lend you his room, more than happy to set up in the living room. Despite how you two 'met', he's quickly proven to be a nice guy. 

Nice. Just nice. 

To be honest, you don't know all that much about Gojo. He's letting you stay in his home, but you don't see him all that much. Gojo is gone pretty much all day. Sometimes, he's gone for days on end. The apartment feels more like yours than his. 

"I'm the strongest." He told you when you asked. You don't know what he means by that, so you didn't pry. 

Despite the awkwardness, you don't mind the distant relationship. The man probably has his day packed with hunting down demons and this school he talked about. 

The change doesn't happen until two weeks after you move in. 

You weren't allowed to have a phone, nor any internet access, so you mostly spent your time doing hobbies. You've always wanted to learn to crochet, and now you finally had time to actually learn. Drawing also took some hours out of your day. And eventually, you moved onto cooking. 

Ijichi was more than happy to grab you the grocery items when you asked. When you insisted on paying him back, he declined profusely. He was actually the one who organized getting your things and really moving you in. You have another thing you owe these people. 

Cooking was a steep learning curve. Before, you'd only made simple sandwiches and curries, so the food starting out wasn't the best. But you enjoyed the journey more, rather than the end result. Pretty soon, you became pretty good at it. 

Gojo wasn't home often these days, so you jump when the front door clicks open. He takes off that blindfold he's always wearing, blinking a couple times before his blue gaze settles on you in the kitchen. 

"What's all this?" He cocks his head. He isn't smiling. 

Oh no. You remembered getting permission to use his kitchen, but maybe he hadn't expected you to go this far? The kitchen is a mess. There's flour everywhere. You still hadn't washed the cutting board, nor the knives. 

"I'm sorry," you say, "I-I can clean up and-" 

He waves his hand. "It's fine. I'm not mad, I just..." He drifts off. 

You suddenly have a feeling that you might've misread this entire situation. 

"Would you like some?" You ask. "I think I made too much." 

"I could eat," he says.

You smile. 

A few moments later, the two of you are settled on the table. Gojo's never been so quiet before. In the short time you've known him, he's always been boisterous and playful. Now, he's silent. Staring at the food. 

You hold your breath when he takes his first bite. 

"It's good." He says, his mouth full. It's cute. "Really, really good. Damn." 

You laugh out of nerves. 

"You think so? I'm glad! It was my first time trying out this recipe and I wasn't sure if it'd turn out well and..." you're rambling, you know that. You can't help yourself. 

"No, it's good. Real good," he says. It's silent again, but not as uncomfortable this time. The only thing you hear is the clanking of silverware and the hum of the lights. Outside the window, the city lights twinkle. 

You're on your last bite when he speaks again. 

"'been a while since I've had a homecooked meal." He starts with a slight laugh. "Kinda' forgot what it's like." 

You think of the fridge. How it was only ever stacked with protein shakes and instant meals. Gojo was a sorcerer. The strongest. You think you get what that means now. 

"I wouldn't mind doing this more often," you say. 

He looks at you with the prettiest blue you've ever seen. The color of a bright cloudless sky. 

"I think I'd like that." 

Who ever said the phrase 'the quickest way to a man's heart is through his stomach' was onto something. Your friendship with Gojo bloomed after that night. On the seldom nights he came home, dinner was made and sitting on the table. It took a few days for the two of you to warm up enough to talk to each other. Once Gojo got going, it was a lot harder to shut him up. He talked about his school, his work as a teacher for other jujutsu sorcerers. You liked the way he talked about his students. Nothing but pride and affection .

On the nights he didn't come home, you'd save the leftovers in the fridge. They were usually gone by the morning. 

He was around a lot more after that night. Not that you minded, it was his house. You just didn't get a few things about him. For example, that blindfold of his. Why wear it when it was clear he couldn't see with it on? 

You decide to bring it up the third time he nearly runs you over.

"It's part of my technique." He explains. "The six eyes. They're basically cursed energy x-rays. The blindfold just limits their strength." 

You were lounged on the sofa watching TV while he was plopped right next to you. He's switched his blindfold for his glasses. 

"Oh," you say when it clicks, "and since I block people's abilities you..." 

"Yup! Can't see you at all!" Gojo happily fills in. "It doesn't help that you're so quiet. Maybe I should put a bell on you." 

You laugh, but it doesn't sound like he was joking. 

"What's it like?" You ask, turning to him, "Seeing the way, you see? What-what do you see?"

"Everything." Gojo shrugs. 

You frown. "That's not very descriptive." 

He laughs. "Here, wanna try?" He takes off his glasses, handing them over. "These things are real popular with the ladies." 

He's avoiding the question, but you don't bother chasing him for it. Instead, you grab the lenses, pulling them over your eyes. You expect to see the secrets of the universe. Instead, you see nothing but darkness. Though, that might be the point.  

"Everything, hm?" You ask, when you take them off. "That sounds exhausting." 

He takes them back with a grin. "It is! My eyes hurt so so much! You should pity me and make matcha tiramisu." 

You laugh, drawing back. "That's what this is about? To guilt trip me into making dessert for you?" 

"Did it work?" 

You think for a moment.

"Get me the ingredients, and I'll see." 

He cheers but doesn't fully answer your question until the episode ends when you've bid him goodnight and are about to return to the bedroom. 

"You're blurry from far away." 

When you look at him, his glasses are gone, tucked under his collar. It's night, but the sky still stares down at you. His usual smile is gone, stretched into a line you can't place. 

"I can see down to molecules, atoms. Not you." 

You look at him, his eyes. The beautiful curse they are. 

You force yourself to take the first step. Then another. Then another. When you're right in front of him, when he's towering over you, you open to your mouth. 

"What do you see, Gojo?" 

"Everything." He honestly replies. 

Everything. Not just cursed energy. Down to cells, molecules, atoms. You can't fathom how much that is, the essence of everything. What's that like? Being able to see the universe so much that it hurts? So much so that it makes him want to wear a blindfold and never see anything again. 

But you're blurry. Gojo can't see you the way he sees others. 

You reach your hands up slowly like you're approaching a wild animal. In some ways, maybe that's what Gojo is: unpredictable, able to wield the power of space—power that's useless against you. 

You cover his eyes. He doesn't stop you. 

"What do you see, Satoru?" 

He doesn't speak, and you're afraid he's forgotten how. 

"Nothing." Quiet, barely more than a whisper.

He slouches ever so slightly, leaning into your hands like some weight's been lifted. It makes you smile. 

When you try to pull your hands away, his wrap around your wrist, keeping you there. So you stay—for as long as he wants. 

It starts something of a tradition between the two of you. Not every night, not even most nights, but every so often, Satoru would grow quiet, shift in a particular way. You hoped it was therapeutic for him, a break rather than a glimpse of what could have been. You hoped you were helping. 

And, if you were torturing him, hopefully, you won't be for long. 

"How much longer do you think I have to do this?" You ask. 

He hums, clearly not paying attention. You two were in the kitchen, making some sweet he saw trending on the internet. Well, you were doing all the work. Satoru kept trying to steal the batter. 

"You know. Sleeping under your roof, eating all your food, stealing you bed." You urge, while whisking. 

"You're acting like I've been keeping you in the attic, roomie." Satoru pouts. "C'mon, I haven't been that bad, have I?" 

"I'm asking for your sake rather than mine," you tell him. "I'm sure you'll be thrilled to have your house back, and your bed. When will everything settle down?" 

His blindfold is on, as it usually is. To help him out, you've taken to wearing squeaky slippers around the house. He'd offered to buy you one of those cat collars with bells. You declined. 

He's looking in your direction. You know he can't see you, but you can still feel his eyes on you. It's a strange feeling. 

"There's talks of taking down the bounty," Satoru finally says, losing his playful tone, "just rumors, nothing concrete. Worst comes to worst, we'll have to relocate you somewhere overseas." 

Yeah, you were worried about that. Leaving everything behind, your home, your friends, your family, because your life was in danger. You hoped it wouldn't have to come to that. 

"We have a couple of options, though," Satoru says, "negotiations, for one." 

You perk up at that. "Negotiations?" You ask. 

He nods. "Right now, you're under my protection. Unofficially. I could pull some strings, get those old geezers at the academy to take you in as some special assistant." 

You tilt your head. "Like at the school that you teach, right?" 

He nods. "We have a case like yours attending the school, too. I think you and him would get along." 

"Your ability could be pretty useful to us. You might even get out in the field every so often." Satoru continues. "A special technique like that would be wasted down here." 

Special. He's said that before. You can't remember when, but you know he's right. You're an anomaly, but you can use your abilities for good. But could you really do that? Risk your life every day? Lose pieces of yourself like that?

"I don't really feel special," you say, "I don't want to be special either." You glance at him. "Is that a bad thing?" 

Even blindfolded, somehow, his eyes find yours. 

"No," he says, no judgment in his voice, "it just makes you human." 

Relief. You can feel it sinking through your veins. Part of you feels guilty. Satoru is right; you could do a lot. But you...you don't want to end up like him. 

That makes you feel even worse, but then you catch something in his tone. 

"You sound like you're not very human," you say back. You're teasing, but it falls flat. 

He hums. It's not quite the response you were looking for. It takes a second for him to start up again. 

"When I was younger, people used to call me creepy." 

You stare at him. 

"What?." 

He grins, but it's not his usual one. 

"It's true." He shrugs. "Mostly, it was 'cause of my eyes. They called them unnerving. Monstrous. My folks were always a creative bunch." He says it so casually, but you can hear the bite on his voice. It's phrased as a joke, but it isn't.

You put down your whisk, giving him your full attention. 

"That's not true," you respond, "you know that, right? You aren't a monster. Monsters aren't as kind as you are." 

"Oh?" He tilts his head. "Maybe I'm using my kindness as a lure to trap you. Guess you just fell for it, roomie. 'thought you were smarter than that." You roll your eyes. 

"Okay, fine, I yield. You're a monster. But out of all the monsters in the world, I'd pick you." 

For a moment, there's silence in the kitchen. Then- 

"So cheesy!" Satoru laughs. He reaches over, roughly pinching your cheek. "Who knew you could say such cute things, roomie." 

You slap his hands away, now extremely annoyed. 

"Nevermind. I take it back," you retort. "I'd run away as far as I could from you." 

"Good, you should," he replies. "I won't stop you." 

You scoff. 

"Maybe that's why everyone thought you were creepy." You go back to your whisking. "It's not your eyes, you just say a lot of ominous shit." 

Despite how peaceful it is, making desert, cooking, and acting domestic, it can't last forever. The world was still hunting for you, and it had no problems reminding you of that. 

One night, you wake up to the sounds of hushed talking. 

It's coming from the living room. Multiple voices. Quiet but urgent. You're used to the noise. Satoru has this habit of blasting terrible soap operas at 2 am. You don't think that man sleeps. Over time, you've gotten used to at least one disturbance. 

But this feels different. It's enough to rub the sleep out of your eyes, making you pad over to the hall. 

They hear you before they see you. Satoru's apartment has creaky floorboards. Ijichi tugs on the collar of his shirt nervously. Ieiri just looks away. Satoru is leaning back against the couch, legs crossed. He's frowning. That's how you know something isn't right. 

"Is everything okay?" You ask anyway. 

Ijichi gives a tight grin. 

"Everything's fine." He's quick to console. "We-we were just-" 

"Stop." Satoru immediately cuts in. He's wearing his blindfold. You can't tell what he's thinking. 

"We're not hiding it. Everyone involved should know." 

Ijichi deflates. You think Ieiri sneers. 

Satoru beckons you closer with long fingers. You step forward. They're sitting around a computer. You peek at the screen.

Instantly, you wish you hadn't. 

There were pictures of you. Dead. Your body parts were strewn across the floor. Your hands were broken in every other way. Your legs were in pieces. Your head snapped clean off, blood oozing from your appendages like you were just a packet of liquid. One of your eyes was missing from its socket. The other was crushed. But it wasn't you, it was- 

"Miyashiro. At least, what's left of him." Satoru gives.  

The doppelganger, the guy who was covering for you. He was supposed to be one of their best; what happened to him? 

What was going to happen to you? 

They're talking again. At least, you think they are. Their words are muffled, filtered through water. You can't make out what anyone is saying. Your heart's beating too fast. It's pounding through your ears. You can only stare at the picture, what was left of him. Someone's touching you. A hand on your back. 

"Roomie, hey," Satoru's voice comes.

The pounding stops. You look up at him. 

Angelic. It's the only word you could think of. His snow-white hair was pretty, falling elegantly down his face. He'd taken his blindfold off. Blue eyes, sparkling, cleansing. Purifying, like the Ganges river. 

How could anyone think a beautiful sight like this was monstrous? 

He calls your name, your real name, and you break. 

You cling to him, wrapping your arms around his waist. And you're sobbing, tears of everything flowing down your face. 

Hands, hesitant, unsure, rest on your back. And then Satoru's holding you as tightly as he can.

He's warm. It's all you can think as you shake in his hold. 

He's warm. 

"I won't have to worry about that if I just gave in, hm?" You ask. 

It was a couple of days later from your episode. Satoru had convinced you to give one of his soap operas a shot. On-screen, a woman slapped her cheating husband. 

Satoru was lounging beside you, feet propped up on the coffee table. You want to tell him off, but it's his house. 

"If you went to the school, you mean?" He asks. "Probably. You'd be a lot freer. Won't have to sit in a cramped apartment all day. 'sides, jujutsu tech is always on the lookout for fresh talent. The higher-ups would be ecstatic to have someone like you under their thumb." 

"But I'd have to become a sorcerer." You say the unspoken. 

Gojo nods. "Yeah, you would." 

And you don't want that. To face curses, to face death every day. You know you can't handle that. You aren't strong, like Satoru. 

"I'm sorry," you say. 

He laughs. "For what?" 

You shrug as the on-screen couple makes up again. "For being...a coward, I guess."

He thinks for a moment. 

"It's not about bravery," he says in the end, "being a sorcerer is just...that. A sorcerer. It's a job. A title. Only a special few can do it. The crazy ones." 

His tone gets a bit playful. 

"No offense, roomie, but I don't think you got enough crazy in you." 

"That's a compliment, actually." You correct. He ignores you. 

"'sides, I like you staying here." Satoru declares, stretching his arms out on the couch. "Who'd feed me? It'd be horrible to go back to ramen again." 

You roll your eyes. "Right. Who else will wake at 2 am because of your whining to make wagashi?" 

"See! You get it!" Satoru grins. You can't force the smile off your face. 

The husband's mistress has entered the set. The wife is confident that her husband will choose her. She's left heartbroken all over again. You don't get how she couldn't see it. The red flags were all there, and still, she was left blindsided. Never saw it coming. She trusts too easily, you decided. 

"Also, I like having you here," Satoru says. 

You glance at him. He's watching the screen. 

"It's...nice." He admits after a bit. "To have company like this. It reminds me of back when I was younger. When the two of us lived in the dorms." 

When he was a student? Who was he talking about? You don't pry. It's clear he isn't talking to you. 

"I'm glad you're here," Satoru says. 

Lightly, you bump shoulders with him. Infinity doesn't stop you. 

"You're a sweet monster." You tell him. 

He gives a secret grin. 

Every once in a while, Gojo peeks into the bedroom while you're sleeping. 

He's subtle about it, doesn't make too much noise. You're a light sleeper, so it takes little to nothing to wake you up. 

He doesn't do anything. He stands there, shuffles here and there, hovering by the foot of the bed. You just pretend to be asleep in those cases, evening out your breaths, closing your eyes. It's always the same. He loiters around for a minute, and then he's shutting the door behind him. 

It's strange, but you try not to think too much of it. He was probably looking for something. It's his room after all. 

It's just...strange. 

You find it when you're looking through his book shelf. 

He doesn't have anything interesting to read. It's mainly just historical novels. You're perusing through one before a photograph falls out of the pages. 

It's tiny, barely larger than your palm. It only takes a second to realize what you're looking at. 

"Found your baby pictures." You gleefully tell Satoru when he comes back. 

"What?" He tilts his head; you wave the photo in front of him. When he tries to take it, you pull back. 

"Tiny Satoru!" You squeal. "Who knew you were once so small? I always thought you were born six feet over." 

It's a simple photograph, a little aged, but still clear. Satoru looks about eight, standing between a man and a woman. His face is eerily blank. He stares with no emotion, not even a smile. He isn't wearing sunglasses or a blindfold. Doll-like blue eyes. You don't feel like you're looking at a child. He's too-

"Are those your parents?" You ask, letting him take the photograph from you. 

"No," he says, "my caretakers." 

Caretakers. Not nannies, or anything else. It felt so clinical. You lean against his shoulder, still staring at the photograph. 

"You look cute." You finally say. When you peak over, a hint of a smile is twitching on his face. "But I totally agree with everyone. You look creepy. Like one of those children from the exorcist. Climbing over the walls." 

"I never grew out of that phase." Satoru ponders. You laugh. 

"What was it like?" You ask. "You said you're from a clan, right?" 

"Exhausting." Satoru groans. "Never a break from training. I should go back and sue my folks for child abuse. I could get millions." 

"I could help you with that." You pipe in. "I've never gone to law school, but I feel like I'd make a great lawyer." 

"I'll keep that in mind." He promises teasingly before his smile fades. 

"But that's the norm for most kids in jujutsu." He sighs. "Gotta' be perfect. Gotta' be the best, right from the beginning. There's a student I know who had a rough start, but she's the best in her class. Her clan didn't care about her potential. Those kids are all scary talented, they just need a bit of nurturing, that's all." 

You stare at him. He catches you. 

"What?" He asks, before his eyes widen. "Do I have a pimple?" 

You shake your head. "For some reason, I feel like that's impossible for you." You tease.

"I'm just admiring you, I think. For being such a kind person." 

"I thought we agreed I was a monster." Satoru points out. 

This again. You roll your eyes. 

"Fine, a good monster." You correct. "A monster, I know." 

"The monster you know." He repeats

You want to ask him why he's so insistent on that. For some reason, you hold your voice. 

Satoru's apartment had two bathrooms. Lately, the one in the bedroom has had some issues. 

It's been awkward lately trying to share the only working bathroom. Satoru and you shower at around the same time, so you've opted to hold back your morning routine a little later. You still manage to catch each other. The amount of times you've accidentally caught him walking around with nothing but a towel around his waist would be too mortifying to admit. 

But, so far, it's working. And you can't complain since you at least have one working bathroom. It's the little things. 

Tonight, you wake up to your bladder urging you to move. And yet, your body still wants to sleep. You check the time. It's nearly 2 in the morning.

It takes a while to pull yourself up, unraveling yourself from the covers before you're trudging out the bedroom. Satoru's apartment is so dark. It's a completely different look compared to daytime. You feel your way with the walls, letting your eyes adjust to the dark. When you peek over at the living room, Satoru isn't there. He must not be coming home tonight. 

The bathroom is shut, but there's a sliver of light bleeding under the door. Fuck, you did not shut the lights off last time. You need to be less careless. 

At first, you think Satoru's hurt. 

He looks hurt. He's hunched over, shaking shoulders, harsh breathing. You can only see his back, but he looks like he's in agony. You're about to step forward, ask what happened, and then you catch a glimpse of what he's clutching. 

Pretty, blue, laced panties. 

Your panties. 

And you're close enough to hear his voice whispering your name. Over and over again. 

"Fuck, fuck, baby, need you, just lemme-just lemme, all mine, all mine-"

He doubles over, tightening his grip on the edge of the sink. Your panties are damp. 

You flinch, and in your moment of panic, you step back. Creaky floorboards. 

Satoru looks up in the mirror. You don't move. 

He takes his time. Placing his phone down. Adjusting his pants, washing his hands. You can only stand there, frozen. Staring. Staring until he's in front of you, looking right back. 

You might have forgiven him if he had fumbled, laughed it off, became bashful. A human reaction. His face is eerily blank. He stares with no emotion, not even a smile. His eyes mirror that photograph. Doll-like, absolutely empty. 

Monstrous. 

Your eyes water. He turns blurry for a second. 

Satoru steps aside. You wordlessly enter the bathroom, shutting the door behind you. You don't bother locking. 

You don't know how long you stay there, quiet, shaking, your mind trying to piece together what you just saw. You stay there for hours. You stay there for seconds. Time stretches on like infinity itself, yet even then, it's too short. 

You're alone with him. It's a thought you never even had until now. You're alone with him. 

Satoru is outside. You don't look at him, staring at the floor, looking at the carpet, counting each strand. You keep your head down when you return to the bedroom. 

He follows. You say nothing. You don't look. You don't look, even when the covers shift and he gets into bed behind you. You don't look, even when there's a hand on your shoulder. You don't look, even when there's a chest pressed against your back. 

You shiver, you shake. You don't look. He says nothing, even when you break down completely. 

You wake up alone the next morning. 

You don't waste a second. You're stumbling through the room, picking up your clothes, packing everything that you need. You're so panicked that you manage to knock over an alarm clock. 

It's habit to reach down and pick it up. Learned politeness to scrutinize it to make sure it isn't broken. 

A black dot stares back at you. 

A camera. 

Horrible memories of last night come back. He was watching something on his phone. 

You feel nauseous, about to give all over the floor. You need to go. You needed to get out of there. 

The apartment is silent, like it always is when Satoru isn't here. You just hadn't noticed how cold it was, lifeless. It makes the pit on your stomach gap. You expect the windows to be bolted shut. They aren't. Sunlight streams through the glass. The front door is unbarred too. 

It's easy to leave. 

You stop anyway. One question. 

Where would you go? 

You can't go back home. Miyashiro's body still haunts you. His soul in your body, torn apart with such hatred and vitriol. Those people were still looking for you. The only reason you were still alive was because Miyashiro took your death bed. 

You'd die if you went back home. 

You can't go to jujutsu tech. You'd be expected to lay down your life, serve a maskless force that pretended to do good. You'd certainly die. Ripped apart by curses. 

You'd be slaughtered if you went to the school.

Every route is treacherous, nearly impossible, full of dangers and unknowns. 

At least, you know what Satoru wants. 

He's made it clear since the beginning. You were just willfully ignorant. Oblivious on purpose. More than happy to ignore the red flags because you knew he was a kind person to his students, ignoring the dichotomy of his actions. 

Two things can be right at once. 

Satoru won't stop you if you run. He told you that himself. You could leave if you wanted, and he won't follow. But every other path is filled with an intangible value, and Satoru is the monster you know. 

Your hand falls away from the doorknob. 

You get started on dinner.

You're still there when Satoru comes back. You say nothing. Neither does he. Dinner is a quiet affair. He doesn't talk about his day, he doesn't talk about his students. When you wash the plates, he's quietly standing behind you. When you get out of the shower, he's waiting outside the bathroom. 

You can't bring yourself to look at him until you get into bed. Your eyes trail up, past his legs, his shoulders, his neck. Looking into Satoru's crystal blue eyes. 

Blank. Numb. Empty. 

You think of the cameras. You think of your stolen underwear. 

You think of how much his eyes must hurt right then. 

You raise one hand out, grasping the sleeve of his shirt. It's barely a tug, but the monster follows like he's weightless, crawling into bed. He's too big to hold properly, but he sinks into your body anyway. His forehead rests against your chest. His eyes close. You don't feel that ice anymore. 

“What do you see, Satoru?” 

“Nothing.” A pause. A stilted breath. 

“Nothing but you.” 

He was right in the end. Satoru is a monster. There's no other word that can describe him. Inhuman, far above humanity itself. But he's the monster you'd pick, every single time.

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

the woobification of the lords is something ill never be able to wrap my head around 😭 its insane to me how people can have such a horrible interpretation of events and characters based off of what we have in the actual game

let me start off by saying that ALL FOUR LORDS DID HORRIBLE THINGS (INCLUDING THE DIMITRESCU DAUGHTERS) !

lady dimitrescu isnt some gentle giant who only hates men and loves women and treats them like queens and she just loves living a quiet life with her daughters, she kills and tortures people 😭😭 she like actively killed her maids and drank their blood 😭 they have a basement that has so much blood in it that it goes up to ethans THIGHS

they are muderous and SADISTIC, including the daughters

the woobfication of the dimitrescu daughters is always the most confusing to me. their faces are literally covered in BLOOD 😭😭 they chase ethan around and stab him will laughing and giggling, cassandra literally calls it a HUNT, it is fun to them and they enjoy it

people always try to frame it as ethan breaking into their homes while they are scared and afraid 😭 i can assure you that nobody is afraid of him at first 😭 they dont think hes an actual threat, thats why they toy with him. and dont act like they were unaware of what he wanted. they were all present at the family meeting with miranda, they were all present when they JARRED rosemary 😭 they know what ethan wants, they know who ethan is, to frame them as "minding their own business" is the most absurd interpreation you could make of them

they were all involved, they all knew what he wanted, and they all HAD what he wanted

you can feel sympathy for lady D, when she cries for her daughters with tears in her eyes, she loved them, they were her family, but you cannot deny the hypocrisy. "how can you kill my daughters for your own!" you have his daughters head in a pickle jar! her daughters werent innocent defenless babies who were scared of big ol ethan stomping around in their house, they have weapons! they wanted to hurt him, and they did, and when he fought back he won

i cannot stress enough that in every single fight, ethan is not the first to strike. he is either backed into a corner where its either his life or theirs, or he is literally being tortured/ chased around, what do you want him to do? these people have pieces of his baby, should he have lied down and died?? 😭

whenever ethan is in a situation where the other person isnt stabbing him in the abdomen 100 times he tries to HELP them 😭 he tries to help absoulute strangers of a village he doesnt even know while he knows his own daughter is missing, even when the stranger is also a jerk to him 😭 he wants allies, he isnt actively trying to make enemys, and before you cry "karl heisenberg!" im getting there...

the thing that bothers me with how people treat donna is that although she isnt the WORST she gets woobfied the MOST imo, like she is the ONLY lord (other than karl but hes a outlier because he wanted ethan to come over so they could make out on his bed) who actively lures ethan in, miss dimitrescus, yeah sure u could say that he trespassed, same with moreau, but donna literally LURES HIM IN with hallucinations of his DEAD WIFE, then OPENS THE DOOR for him and TAKES HIM DOWN THE ELEVATOR

she is literally one of the people who ACTIVELY leads him to where she is

she also uses psychological puzzles , like making ethan perform surgery on a wooden doll of his wife and making him run away from a monster that cries like a baby and calls him "dada" 😭 she did not need to do any of that... like at all 😭 she did it because she wanted to 😭 she is by no means innocent at all

she toyed with him for literally no reason other than her own desire and then ethan doesnt even intentionally kill her. he is in a situation where is his trapped in the house and has to find angie, the doll, to avoid being attacked by dolls with like 100 knives stapled onto them

its only when he defeats angie its revealed that he had actually stabbed DONNA. he didnt even intentionally kill her 😭

then moreau... poor moreau... 😭

moreau in my opinion is one of the more sympathetic lords. whoever he was in his life pre cadou has no influence or impact on his life post cadou, the cadou just wrecked his brain functions

all he is is just mirandas minion at this point, he only wants to please her and doesnt really think about anything else for himself 😭

i dont have much to say about moreau because theres not really many people who woobfiy him or pay him any attention really 😭 though i will say he was very unabashedly evil 😭 he did horrible things, such as eating the fishermen and his experiments with the cadou on the villagers, he did it for mirandas approval but its not a excuse for it, hes still a villian 😭 now we are onto karl.... this guy... the woobification of him is insane 😭 first of all, something i dont see people acknowledge is that he actually HAS killed villagers! no he doesnt just use dead bodies (which btw isnt really a step up 😭 some of u set the bar too low man) the lycan gauntlet that he made ethan run through? yeah, he used that before! he has an entire PA system set up in it! he has lights and huge spikey metal death traps! he did not make all of that just for ethan just to "play appearances" for miranda. there were other people who went through that. and they DIED!

their deceased bodies are still in there! karl is messed up and eccentric 😭 it makes him fun, let him be messed up and evil 😭 and yes, karl used DEAD bodies instead of killing people who were alive, so surely that makes him far less evil right?

WRONG! 😭

HE CONSIDERED USING LIVE BODIES FOR THE SOLDATS 😭

karl really isnt a good person, he has reasons for the things he does, he wants to take down miranda and i dont think hed be creating undead zombies in the first place if it werent for her ruining his life but that isnt justification, its just an explanation for why he does what he does. he has a sympathetic back story and motives but you cant erase what he did, hes a villain! he tries to use a baby as a weapon!!! all 4 of the lords are villains, and instead of making other characters worse to uplift your favorite character that did something bad, you can just accept that the character you like did bad things 😭 they are all fictional, if i like moreau it does not mean i endorse eating fishermen 😭 you can like a character that is flawed, or evil, or did insanely messed up things because its RESIDENT EVIL. they are EVIL! they do bad things! like im sorry! but if your fave has a villains wiki it probably means they did some bad things! 😭

i wish people would be able to enjoy a character without entirely dismissing the bad things they did. its okay to like a character that does bad things, its ok to find them interesting and fun! but you cant deny what actually happens in games to try and make them appear as innocent. you dont have to justify every little thing that they do, just accept them as a whole!

of course this doesnt apply to AUs or just posting for fun. you can change media to be what you want to make it more fun. im going to draw lady dimitrescu treating ethan like a unwanted family pet. does that mean that i think she would really do that in canon? no! she would bite him and then tie him up like a pinata and give her daughters blindfolds and bats!

but people need to be able to recognize that fanon is NOT canon.

this post is about canon interpretations,

this is just addressing people who genuinely believe that those kinds of portrayals of the character is an ACCURATE portrayal, because its not.

[star-girl69]

She Calls Me Baby

Clarisse La Rue x Fem!Reader

—-

synopsis: college au, in which you slowly realize something is wrong with your girlfriend.

a/n: love this song. had to do it sorry. anyways this sucks actual BALLS but idc i just have to write something or else i will lose my empire and title as mother of clarisse tumblr ☹️

Jackie and Wilson - Hozier

warnings: NOT BETA READ, im sure this is so discombobulated but IDC!!!!!! anyways, swearing, mentions of death and the usual demigod stuff, mentions of monsters, idk pretty chill…, tell me if i missed anything!!

—-

Your favorite story Clarisse ever told you is the one about soulmates.

She told it to you in the dark, in her bed, hand on the side of your face as she whispered to you like you were secret lovers.

She told you that humans once had two heads and four arms, but Zeus thought they would grow to be too powerful and split them apart. Hearts split in two, detained to roam the earth, trying to find each other.

That’s how it feels with Clarisse- like you’ve known her for years, like your bodies were born of the same speck of dust, souls grew next to each other, fires inside of you burning in the same altar for a hundred years before you met.

Clarisse approached you fast- hard and unrelenting like a hurricane. She wanted whatever she could take from you, love, comfort, a one-night.

It scared her when you wanted to give.

It was kind of crazy how easily the two of you just fit together, crazy how you both liked some things, both hated things, hated something things she liked and nice versa. It was like there was this natural balance between you, everything sort of cosmically weighed out- and it just felt so right to be with her that everything else faded away.

But it was clear that Clarisse fell head over heels for you, the way she would smile and just tell you that you were so different, so much better than her. You were everything she wasn’t, and she resented you so much for it she loved you.

You weren’t exactly sure why Clarisse loved you so much- maybe it was the way you respect her past, maybe it was the way you didn’t push- you just accepted the crazy and tried your best to save her with what little information you did have. It surprised her and you when you became the one to get greedy, to take from her, but you knew she loved the feeling of being wanted.

But lately, Clarisse has been particularly… off. It’s not exam season, so you can’t chalk it up to that. And she’s the most talented player on the field hockey team, you’ve seen her play- she’s overconfident and for good reason. She has no reason to be stressed there, unless somethings changed.

But something tells you it’s not that.

The first real concrete clue you ever got was when you first met her.

The library is where you met Clarisse. The one closest to your dorm hall, the one that’s two floors and built like an out-of-place Greek temple- it always makes you smile when Clarisse gives it a dirty look, trying to persuade you to go to any other library. It doesn’t make sense to you- why go to the one all the way across campus when this one is only a five minute walk?

She always seems on edge when she meets you in here, but she bites it back and won’t tell you no matter how much you ask. She says it’s just a weird thing she has, hard to explain, so you let it go when she clearly doesn’t want to talk about it.

“Hi, sweetheart,” she smiles, pulling out the chair next to you. She glances around the library, not nervously, but observant. Ready, waiting. She’s always been able to do that- scan an entire room in seconds and find out everything.

“Hi,” you smile, stretching as you push your books away from you, grateful for the distraction her brown eyes and sweet voice provide.

She picks up a textbook you’ve pushed off to the side. She scoffs at the title, mumbling about how she still doesn’t know why you would choose the major you did.

“How was practice?” you ask, choosing to ignore her remarks in favor of soaking up her attention and the much needed distraction.

“Boring,” she hums, rubbing her foot up and down your leg, head in her hands. “Freshmen are pissin’ me off, they don’t know shit. Coach has to teach them all the basics over again.”

You lay your head on a thick textbook, staring up at her. “The freshmen are always shitty. Then you love them by the end of the year.”

“I don’t,” she huffs, but some of her favorite members of the team are the freshmen she hated her sophomore year. “Whatever. It’s different, they all suck. Shouldn’t be here.”

“Sure,” you say, yawning again.

“Okay, did you not sleep last night?” she chuckles.

You shrug sheepishly, Clarisse is always so adamant you sleep and eat enough, but sometimes you have to sacrifice the little things for your grades.

“I had a test this morning, stayed up a little later cramming.”

“Uh-huh, so, like, until 1 in the morning? Worse?”

You hold your breath, sitting up as you conveniently look away from her. “3,” you exhale.

She smiles and puts a piece of hair behind your ear.

“But,” you smile, sensing the lecture. “After these five questions, I can be all yours for the rest of the day.”

She pretends to weigh her options.

“Well, I do like the sound of that.”

—-

The second clue is the way she always seems like she’s running away from something.

Your rooms are blessedly only a few doors down from each other, so someone is always sneaking into someone else’s and your roommates have both learned to deal with it.

Silena, Clarisse’s roommate, only greets you with a smile as you sheepishly slip past her in the mornings- Clarisse’s shirt haphazardly slipped over you.

So, on this day, you’re slumped in bed while Clarisse promises to take care of you, and you’re all too happy to let her.

She’s already spent the last hour lying with you in bed, letting you sleep on top of her- forcing you to catch up on some much needed hours of rest with her soft voice in your ear and hand trailing up your back.

She only got up when you mentioned you were hungry, immediately suggesting the idea of ordering from your favorite restaurant, refusing to be swayed by you back into your warm bed.

So, here you were, scrolling on your phone while you waited for the click of the door and the smell of hot food. And it comes, you prepare to make some quip about how dare she leaves you for almost a half hour.

Her keys jangle in her hands as she quickly shuts the door, turning around and pressing her back against it. She breathes out, heavily, before her eyes meet yours and she studies the shocked and confused look on your face.

“Ran up the stairs,” she smiles, leaving her keys and wallet on top of your dresser, dropping the bag of food on your bed before she goes to the window, peeking out of it. “Didn’t want my princess waiting for too long,” she chuckles.

You don’t even look at the bag of food in front of you. You reach out and grab her hand, and she flinches, but pulls away from the window and into your touch.

“Clarisse,” you breathe, and panic flashes in her eyes as she quickly rips open the bag.

“C’mon, don’t let it get cold.”

“Clar… baby,”

“Wanna watch a movie? Or play a game? Anything you want, sweetheart, jus’ say the word.”

—-

The third clue is the fact that you’re 99% sure she’s seeing things.

It sounds horrible to say, and sometimes late at night when she’s asleep against you, you wonder what the hell you’re supposed to do. You’ve only met her mom a few times, never met her father- Silena and her have been friends for years, but you still feel like it all falls to you.

It doesn’t, legally, maybe not even morally- but she’s your girlfriend. You should know what she wants, you should be able to advocate for her when she can’t.

So, the best thing you can think to do it ignore it. You pretend it doesn’t concern you, you pretend you don’t see it, you pretend because you can’t even think about the idea of her not being her, of her being away from you.

You focus on the moment.

You love these walks with Clarisse, her hand warm in yours. It was moments like these where you felt like Clarisse was your sun. Yes, the setting sun was warm against your back, but nothing made you feel alive like Clarisse did. Your hands swing together, hitting your hip, and she seamlessly switches from your hand to wrapping at arm around your waist.

You smile at her, cheeks hot. You go to adjust your bag as a means of distracting yourself, but your hand awkwardly ends up floating in the air when you realize Clarisse took your bag when she picked you up from your last class.

As if sensing the awkwardness, she hikes the tote bag farther up her shoulder.

“What’re your plans today, pretty girl?”

You hum, feeling so at ease with the way she calls you that pet name, with the way she squeezes you closer to her.

“Well, I finished my big project yesterday, don’t really have anything else to do, so I was just gonna chill. What ‘bout you?”

“Ugh,” she groans. “I have practice until 8. But I’ll come over after? And spend the night?”

You smile, laughing softly.

“I don’t know why you even ask anymore.”

“It’s polite,” she smiles. “I’m a very polite person, only when it comes to you.”

“I’ll see you at 8:15, huh?”

“Obviously,” she huffs, kissing your temple. Again, you feel like cheeks heat like this is the first day you met her. It’s embarrassing to be affected by her so much, but it’s also so sweet. Only she can draw out these reactions from you, this potent all these months later. It still feels like the first day with her sometimes, but you also feel like you’ve known her for years.

She bites her lip and hisses a curse word under her breath.

“What?” you ask, snapped out of the way she holds you so perfectly, following her eye line. She stares firmly in between two cars, but there’s nothing there.

“Nothing,” she says, not taking her eyes away from that spot- not even blinking, you realize after a second. She hides the way she gets, that unrelenting focus like when she’s playing in a game, with a laugh.

“Thought I saw that bitch from my 11am.” You look at her. You don’t believe her. She knows you don’t. And it breaks your heart that something is clearly happening, and you can’t force yourself to feel bad for ignoring it, and you can’t force her to tell you. “C’mon, let’s go.”

She moves to hold your hand and drags you off forcefully toward the direction of the entrance. She squints, almost like she’s driving off something with her mind.

“Clarisse,” you mumble, squeezing her hand, feeling unsettled just by the way she’s so clearly ready for a fight. It’s like she can see something you can’t.

She risks a small glance at you, a normal looking smile.

“It’s all good, baby. I’ve got you,” she smiles, reaching back like she’s stretching, but something where there’s nothing glints in the sunlight.

—-

The fourth clue is the fight with Silena.

She asked you to meet her at her dorm, wear something nice and pretty, and you’ll go out for a nice dinner and some ice cream. She’s been so busy with practice lately, it makes your entire body squeeze the way she jumps to spend time with you at the first off day she gets.

You smooth down your pretty top, the one you know you look good in, the one you know she likes. You’re about to knock on the door when you realize it’s been left open, just a crack. That’s when their voices rise, enough so you can hear them.

“It different now, Clar!”

“It’s. Not. It’s not different, it will never be different, nothing will ever change.”

“Before, Clarisse, when you told me you had this crush on the girl in your econ class, I didn’t think anything of it. I didn’t care. But, Gods, Clarisse, anyone can see it’s different. She’s not just some girl, she’s your girl, your girlfriend, and you’re totally in love with her.”

“I know that,” she huffs. “I’m the one who’s actually in love with her. I love her, and I know her. I know what’s best for her.”

“And she’s in love with you too, Clarisse.”

She laughs. “I would hope so.”

“It’s different, Clarisse. It’s been different for a while, and I didn’t say anything because I thought you would notice. But you haven’t.”

“Fuck, Silena, please. Please, just stop. I’m not puttin’ her through that. I’m not putting myself through that again. I’m not that girl anymore. I am not my father’s daughter.”

“It never goes away, Clar.”

Silena’s voice is quiet, hesitant. Clarisse has confessed to you her struggles with her emotions all her life, particularly anger. Half the reason her mother sent her to that camp she always talks about was because she had such bad anger issues. But she worked through them, and you know she’s different now, she has healthy outlets and ways to cope.

But still, Silena seems scared.

“Shut the fuck up.”

You hear her walking towards you and quickly step back, smoothing your face out into a blank slate, tempted to hit yourself in the head to forget what you just heard.

The door swings open, and she smiles immediately when she sees you.

“Y/N,” she says, sticking her keys into her pocket. You force yourself to do your best smile. “Oh, baby, you look so pretty.”

“Thank you,” you smile, letting her wrap her arms around you, letting her press a soft kiss against your lips.

—-

Clarisse made you laugh all night, made you smile, made you wonder how you ever got this far in life without her. She paid for your dinner and ushered you out of the restaurant, chuckling about how you drove her crazy and she just wanted you now-

Until she walked you to your car, opened the passenger door for you- suddenly shoving you inside and pushing the door softly closed, as much as she could get it with your foot still hanging out.

“Clarisse!” you shout, but she’s already appeared in the driver’s seat next to you, ushering you inside, reaching over and shutting the car door. She locks them with a satisfying click, finally letting her shoulder’s sink down. “What the fuck?” you huff.

“Sorry,” she smiles, hands squeezing the steering wheel. “It was the weirdest thing, a squirrel ran right over my foot, I got so freaked out…” she smiles, forces a laugh, but you only look at her unimpressed.

“Clarisse,” you sigh, letting your hands fall to your sides in defeat. “What’s going on? Please?”

She opens her mouth, then closes it.

“Just let me drive home,” she had said, and now you’re home, leading her into your dorm and she presses her back against the door.

You put your hands on her shoulders and she puts hers on your hips, she can’t look at you and you do your best to meet her eyes.

“Clarisse,” you say, a silent beg that all your suspicions are wrong, and everything and fine and she still loves you, she’s still your girlfriend.

“I’m not ready to tell you,” she rushes out. Her fingertips dig into your skin. “I’m not ready, okay? I’m sorry, but I’m not.”

“T-that’s okay,” you say after a moment. “It’s okay. I just… you can tell me, when you’re ready. I’m just scared, I don’t know why this is happening, you’re being so different-”

She hugs you and puts her face into your neck.

“Please, Y/N,” she breathes, shaky breath tickling your neck. “I love you so much. I love you more than anything, just let that be enough, please.”

You hugs you quick and hard, and you’re so shocked by it that you almost take a step back. But you can’t, really, not with her arms so tight, so right around you. And once you realize it’s just your Clarisse, you coo softly and put your hand in her hair, the other around her shoulders.

“Of course it’s enough, baby. Of course, I just want you to know that I’m here… I’m here…”

You run your hand through her hair and she exhales.

“I know, I know it’s not perfect, but you’re all I have. You’re all I have, Y/N, just be here with me, please.”

“I will,” you breathe. “I will.”

Your mind is swirling with more questions than answers, but Clarisse asks you to call her baby again and leads you to your bed. And you do, you call her baby and tell her you love her.

And the realization comes slowly, but once it comes it feels so right.

You don’t know what’s going on with Clarisse. All you have are incoherent clues strung together, but you realize you don’t care. You love Clarisse more than you’re scared of a little crazy.

And you tell her that as she lays on top of you, and she simply takes her face out of your neck, the faintest hint of tears welling in her eyes.

“I love you crazy, baby,” you murmur.

She smiles, and you feel like you’re being sucked into the eye of a hurricane.

She lets out a soft breath, like she was scared, so scared- and you’re not sure she’s ever been scared before. But she’s scared of losing you. She’s scared of losing you, and that makes you giddy like a schoolgirl. That makes you love her even more.

“I’m a lot of crazy,” she says, and you can’t tell if she’s joking, but you laugh. You laugh like a hyena, because you love her more than you love yourself.

You want to be the harbor she comes back to each night, you want to be the pillow where she rests her head. You want to be a vault for her secrets and her love. You want to be everything for her and you want to be everything to her.

You don’t believe in Greek myths, but maybe that one about soulmates was right.

—-

taglist:

@lvrue @t-wylia @laughingcheese037 @kroumi @urdeadpoet @colezb @rey26 @harmzilla @elliewilliamsbae @amberfreemansburntface @kyuupidwrites @neverwaakeme-up @shark1008 @liballer @heyimadison @nvirskies @pnsteblnme @mar2ss @restellsss @ravisinghs-wife @marsconer @evangelinexo @randomhoex @luvrrish @rebecca37 @saltair-and-palemoonlight @ace-spades-1

[hoes4lino]

🍓 Fields 🍓 | LMH

WARNING ⊂✦⊃ This story contains nsfw content as well as mentions of alcohol; minors please don’t interact, please beware of what you consume online.

Genre: College au, fluff, angst

Summary: He was madly in love, she just wanted to live in peace. What happens when one of the most popular guys in college falls in love with the dork who no one knows?

Word Count: 23.5k

Reading Time: approx 2hrs

Authors Note: In this fic I’m combining two of my favorite things in this world… soccer and leeknow ^•^ y’all should know that Im a hoe for romantic fics, so this was enjoyable to write even though it took me many sleepless nights to finish this. This is my first time writing such a long story, so hope you enjoy!!! <3

It was 3 am and you were already feeling today wasn’t going to be a good day. It all started when you abruptly woke up from what was supposed to be a 30-minute nap, just to look at the clock and realize it was 1:07 am… you overslept 6hrs since you got home.

All sweaty and thirsty, you brag yourself out of bed and opened the shower, while letting the cold water adjust to a warmer temperature you opened your Macbook to check what assignments you had to do for the day.

You internally cursed yourself as you blankly stared at the assignment, <what if I say my grandma died> you thought, as you tried to find a reasonable excuse to give your professor. You had no problem in speedrunning a few designs, however knowing your teacher you rather do nothing than give him some sloppy drawings <he is going to kill me> you cried <thats it, Im failing, im never graduating> as thoughts filled your head, you heard a notification pop in your phone, startling you.

Hello Cornell University!

Today we love to announce the beginning of autumn sports! Please join us tomorrow at the field for the first soccer game of the year!

Go Bears! 🐻❤️

You scoff at the notification. Since you moved for college, you didn’t take the time to make friends or meet any new people in general, you missed Korea and even though you were now at your dream college, you didn’t feel like you fit in here, the cultures were just too different and it made you feel off place, you didn’t like the people here, none of them seem to have manners or have some sense of respect towards others everyone was self-centered, the thing that made you scared to talk to others. You decided to go unnoticed and just stick to the friendships you had back in Korea. Although pulling up to the game and meeting a few people didn’t sound bad, you were a very passionate soccer fan, and meeting people with the same interest sounded exciting.

— — —

It was now 6 am, you had your first class at 8:45 am, and you finished doing your designs although they weren’t your best you were proud of how decent they looked, you grabbed the pieces of paper and placed them carefully into your folder trying to keep them at neat as possible, you thought of making yourself a cup of coffee, however, you decided to take a nap before your class started.

The way the sun rays gently touched your face and the birds sang beautiful background melodies was a warning that you were late to class. Eyes fully opening in panic when you read on the clock that it was now 8:28 am, you had about 12min to get to your class, quickly putting on a denim skirt, some Adidas forum, and a cute top, you rushed to grab your bag and left the dorm running. While running through the now-empty hallways with a piece of bread in your mouth, you brushed your hair and sprayed some perfume on yourself, trying to get yourself as decent as possible. As you were about to turn a corner you crashed with a firm body on the other side, making you stumble and crash yourself onto the floor.

Ashamed of yourself you just stood up and continued running, giving you the curiosity to know who that was and what they said while you left running. Luckily you made it to your class, maybe 5 or 8 minutes late but your teacher was the type to give you a few minutes to settle before he started his lesson in the morning. The class was going by pretty fast you were already in your 3rd period of the day, you went to your architecture class and your professor was impressed with your designs, you explained to him that you rushed through them, however, he seemed to have taken it in a good way.

"It’s ok y/n, I just graduate from college as well, I'm also a victim of procrastination" he whispered as he left a breathy chuckle, in that moment you realized Mr. Hyunjin and you had an age gap of 4 yrs, you two were pretty much alike, if he was your classmate he would be your best friend. At that moment you wondered how he got his teaching degree that fast "However, please do your drawings in time, although this is amazing I can see some of the lines are a little sloppy" he grinned at you as he handed back your drawings "I will Mr. Hawng" you grabbed your stuff; as you were about to leave when he stopped you once again in your tracks "Y/n, you should go to the soccer game today, its a big event and I have noticed you haven’t adapted yet to the environment" you slowly nodded as you gave him a small grin "I will think about it".

You thought of the proposal as you walked to your engineering class, everyone was talking about the game, was our team that good or was it just full of pretty faces and popular boys? Guess we will have to find out at the game. Your thoughts are abruptly interrupted when someone decided to sit next to you, you usually sit alone in this class so you would lie if you said you didn’t feel nervous "Look its miss hit and run" You blink confused a couple of times as you stare at the brunette boy sitting next to you, his cat-like eyes, sharp nose, and plump lips made your heart skip a beat <Is this man-made by the greek god's wtf> he scoffed as you didn’t say anything back at him "thanks to you I was late to my morning class" he rolled his eyes, you could feel your cheeks turning bright red at the embarrassment "I’m so sorry, I was running late to my class" you mumbled as you tried to hide your face in between your books, he scoffed once again. The rest of the class was spent in uncomfortable silence, both of you were working on whatever assignment the professor assigned, however, you couldn't ignore the glances he would give you from time to time.

The bell rang and you tried to leave as soon as possible, quickly packing up your stuff "Do you have Instagram?" he asked before you could get up, he wants your insta? hell no... no one from here followed you and honestly you didn't want them to find your user either "I don't use social media, sorry" With that you left as fast as you could, to you those words meant nothing, for Minho that was like a dagger stabbing his heart, he knew you used Instagram he saw you on the app during the class, that's why he went for it and asked you, second, you have no idea how much courage it took him to ask for it. Minho is not the type of guy to be nervous around a girl however with you… it felt different.

— — —

Once school was over, you went to the nearest Starbucks and got yourself your favorite refresher, however, you couldn't help to ignore the group of girls in there, they clearly went to Cornell as they proudly wore the red hoodie with the mascot on it, they were probably going to the game, however, they seemed to be talking about you "She is the girl I saw Minho with today at class" a blond girl whispered with a tone of disgust "What are the chances of Minho fucking her?" a brunette girl replied, making one of the girls hysterically laugh "Girls lets be for real, look at her and now look at me" She paused as they examined you "You think Minho would downgrade that bad" she said in a sassy tone "hmm I dunno Vanessa... she is pretty solid, and definitely top of my class" the blond girl was quickly hushed as she saw the glare of her friend "Angie if you don't learn how to shut the fuck up, I will kick your ass" <Lord please get me out of here> you thought, as the girls kept gossiping behind you, you don't know what the deal with Minho is, but you definitely didn't want to do something with him, he just sat next to you for a class and now you got people gossiping about you? worse to say, they thought you two fucking? "Y/N" the Starbucks employee yelled, taking you out of your thoughts, you grabbed your drink and left, noticing how that little friend group looked at you up and down, maybe today was a bad day to wear a denim skirt, people will think you a hooker or something. "y/n... so that's her name," Vanessa said under her breath as she watched you walk away.

On your way home you couldn't forget the interaction at Starbucks and wonder who were these girls and why were they targeting you, knowing that you were a topic of conversation at the moment made you sick to your stomach. As you pass by the campus you can hear all the cheering and music coming from the field, tempting you to take a small peak at the game. When you got closer you hid somewhere in between the bleachers and watched, what felt like 10 minutes turned into watching the whole game, but what can you say both teams were competitive and it felt like watching a world cup final. People started to leave and you decided to wait for all of them to leave, you wanted to wander around the field once everyone left. Minutes pass and it was starting to get dark, the field seemed to be now empty so you left your hiding spot and walked around it while listening to "Good Days" by sza. The music instrumental combined with the beautiful scenery of the field with the vanishing sunset gave you a feeling of euphoria, captured by the scene as you stare at it mesmerized, you didn't acknowledge the presence approaching you.

"Fancy meeting you here" Startled by the sudden voice, your instinct was to throw hands, quickly throwing the refresher you had in your hand with half its content in it. The juice splashed all over the boy's face, leaving him with shock showing in his face. "I- I'm sorry," you stare at him scared "I swear I didn't mean to, you just appeared and..." You were quickly hushed as he opened his eyes, looking at you with pure anger "You just dirtied my shirt" he said in annoyment "I have another game tomorrow" he sighed in frustration "Give it to me, I have a washing machine and a dryer at my dorm, let me wash it for you" your voice stuttering here and there, unlike you Minho was enjoying this, seeing the way your eyes trembled and the way you tried to collect yourself to solve this more professionally "Ok, then..." he paused as he was about to take his shirt right there "WAIT" you stop him, your hands grabbing his forearms as you pulled them down with the shirt "Don't take your shirt here" you flustered "Just follow me to my dorm, it will take 30 minutes max and you can clean yourself" you suggested, you just wanted to be done with the shirt incident and never seen him ever again.

— — —

The walk to your apartment had to be the most awkward moment of your whole life. Once the two of you reached your door, you realized the type of person you were dealing with "Hope your roommate doesn't get the wrong idea when I get in" he said in a rather suggestive tone while he glare at you with a smirk, you sighed "I don't have a roommate, I rather live alone in silence" you said annoyed opening the door, making him chuckle "That's some valuable information right there" he said as he closed the door and quickly took his shirt off "where is your bathroom, so I can take a quick bath" you turn around to give him the directions when you were surprised with his honey-toned chest and flat stomach <Lord almighty> it seemed that after all you were right when you said he was built by the greek gods, however, you knew the game he was playing and you were def not forming part of it, so you shook all those thoughts away and took him to your bathroom, where you also explained to give how the washing machine worked and with that, you left him in there.

Now in your mind, you were recreating every single moment of your day. First, you crash into someone this morning, that someone being Minho, one of the most handsome guys you have ever seen, captain of the soccer team, popular and most likely a fuck boy based on the gossip of those girls at Starbucks, and now he is in your house... taking a bath... things can't get any worse at that moment if you told your friends they would swear you are creating some type of kdrama shit in your little delusional head, however, all this was real... which made you sick.

You stood up from your couch with a sigh, deciding to switch to more comfortable clothes and start your assignments, while you waited for Minho to leave. Going to your room you picked up a pink spaghetti strap tank top and your favorite silk white shorts accompanying it with fluffy socks and your pink slide slipper, then you left the room and made your way to the kitchen, reheating some leftover Gimbap from the previous night.

"Ahhh~" Minho teases "So this is what it would feel like dating you, taking a shower after a rough day, to find you in your little pajamas warming up some food for us" At that moment you couldn't focus on his words, as he was getting closer to you with his wet brunette hair and wearing nothing but a towel... YOUR TOWEL... Once he was a couple of inches apart from you, you looked into his eyes and started laughing, at that moment you didn't know if you were laughing at his words, at the whole situation, or out of nervousness.

"And here I thought I was delusional" you chuckle relaxing "Also what are you doing with MY towel" You emphasize the word as he looks down to stare at it "I gave you another one, you were supposed to use that one... not mine," you say in frustration, now you will have to wash it, the water bill was looking crazy at that moment "I liked the texture of this one better, plus I also liked the scent" you scoff at his words and took your food out of the microwave "Whatever, just dress up and leave my house," you said as you pushed him away of your way and sat on your comfy couch, placing your food on the coffee table and picking up the tv remote "So you are just going to let me go like that?" he said with a dumbfounded face, you look at him confused "ermm... yeah? you are only here cause I spilled my drink on you, don't abuse the invite, I could have hit and run like I did this morning" you said as you blankly passed the channels on the tv.

He scoffed, at that moment he didn't know why he felt disappointed, as if he was hoping for more, for you to invite him and have a bite of your food, an invite to sit there with you and watched whatever shitty show you were watching, he walked to the bathroom and took his cloths out of the dryer, he dressed up and even though he was ready, he didn't want to leave that bathroom cause that meant leaving your house.

The reality was that he had been liking you since freshmen year, the moment he saw you at the welcoming party was like you caught his mind, since then he's been in denial of accepting his crush on you. He knew you were shy and that you were good at drawing, he always paid attention to every little single detail of you, he would often find himself looking for you in crowded places knowing that you hated them, he hated every single thing about being in love with you, yet he always craved being loved by you; in the inside, he wanted to worship you, have you in his arms every morning, cook your favorite meals, go on silly dates with you... he would party and fuck around to see if you would leave his mind someday... yet he was never lucky, the only thing that would clear his mind was soccer, he loved the adrenaline, the intensity, and the beauty of the sport, in his head he would often compare his love for soccer with his love for you, the only difference was that one was more realistic than the other.

When he caught you today mesmerized with the field, he felt like you stole his heart for a second time, the way your eyes shined under the sunset, the way the breeze moved your hair, and the way your smile brought warmth to his heart, he felt like it was the day to do something about it, get closer to you. The moment you offered him to come to your dorm, his heart was beating so fast, he has never been this nervous before, and yes maybe he has been in a bunch of girl's dorms before but for some reason, yours just felt special.

He stepped out of the bathroom with a heavy heart, ready to say his goodbyes and leave your life for once, however, he didn't expect to find you knocked out on the couch, the sight of you sleeping peacefully made his heart skip a beat, making him mad at himself for being this down bad. He slowly walked to your sleepy figure, he grabbed a fluffy blanket you had on the couch and wrapped it around you. The next thing he remembers he was on his knees analyzing your face, he has never been this close, and the temptation to kiss your plump lips was bigger than anything, however, he held himself and instead planted a sweet peck on your cheek, with a smile on his face he made sure to leave quietly.

— — —

The next morning you slowly opened your eyes and sat on the couch, you blink a couple of times trying to remember what happened last night, the tv was off and you had a blanket on top of you... <When did Minho leave?> You ask yourself, due to the tiredness you don't remember a single thing. It was a Friday morning, and you had no plans for the rest of the day as you didn't have any lectures till the afternoon, however, you hated staying at your dorm the whole day so you decided to get ready and go for a refresher and then to the library. Today you decided to go with a simple purple sundress and your white Converse accompanied with a white tote bag.

You would lie if you said you didn't feel self-aware the moment you walked through the campus, a bunch of eyes staring at you, confused you tried asking someone around you what was going on, however, you were too scared to approach someone.

"So are you the girl Lee Minho was lucky to pull or is he just a pass time?" a girl with blond hair and lovely eyes said as she approached you "Excuse me?" you raised an eyebrow "I'm sorry, it's just that rumor is spreading like a wildfire" she chuckled while she gave you a warming smile "I'm rosé" she extended a hand in front of you "I'm y/n" you shook her hand while smiling "ermm do you mind telling me what this rumor is about? I'm really confused" she chuckled "Of course, let's go get something to drink first" she smiled grabbing your hand.

"So there is this girl Vanessa and her group of minions," she said while she proceed to take a sip of her drink "She is Minho's ex, however, she seems to not let him go" She paused "He dated her out of pity, she would always go around bugging him all day until he gave in, they broke up because she got jealous of the female soccer managers and threw a fit that expelled Minho from soccer finals... They still hook up from time to time when Minho loses his mind with the alcohol" She rolled her eyes and laughed "And about your rumor..." She pulled her phone out of her pocket and opened Twitter to show you a thread made by Angie one of Vanessa's minions.

"Angie saw you and Minho together after the game... she also saw how he was about to take off his shirt right there" She cringed as she showed you the video Angie took from a long distance... at that moment you could understand the rumor as in all honesty, it did seem like you two were about to hook up.

"That's a misunderstanding, he scared me so I threw my drink at him..." you mumbled, "Well... it doesn't end like this..." She then pulled a second video of you two walking to your dorm at night <Oh Jesus... People think we fucked> your eyes opened in panic... you went from no one to a hot topic in two days... "Yeah... but don't worry, Minho always handles these types of rumors" She reassured you "He is my brother's best friend, so I know what happened" She caressed your arm to ease your nerves "Thank you rosé" You smile "Don't worry I got you, also you can call me Rosie" She grinned at you, her pearly white teeth showing, she was truly gorgeous.

"Do you mind who is your brother, I have never seen you around... but that might just be cause I don't know anyone here" You took a sip of your refresher "My brother is Lee Felix, we like inseparable" You could tell she admired her brother by the way her eyes light talking about him "We have seen you around, but girl you are unreachable, matter many people have been trying to approach you, but everyone is intimidated by you" She laughed.

"That's why everyone calling Minho a lucky bitch, you have no idea how many people would kill for you" When you heard those words your mind went blank... do people think that about you? at that moment you felt mad at yourself for isolating yourself when you could be out there having fun with new people. "There's gonna be a party tomorrow night, be there or be square," The blond girl said as she stared at you with lovely eyes, after that you two talked until you had to leave for your class, today you could say you made your first friend ever.

— — —

It was around 8 pm that same Friday when you spotted Minho, peacefully walking with his headphones on, you slowly approached him to confront him about the rumor "Hey" you touched his shoulder giving him a warm smile, he froze at your sudden apparition "Miss me already?" he said with a smug face "No, I want to talk about the rumor... I talked with this girl Rosé and she told me you usually deny these rumors so-" You were interrupted when he started laughing "Why would I deny it? it's just an innocent rumor we both know it's not real and that should be enough" You couldn't believe your eyes at that moment, the audacity he had to say he wouldn't do it... that was an innocent rumor, you scoff "I'm sorry... innocent rumor? People out there think we fucked" you scoff once again "Ok and? what's the big deal if you know it's not true" his body stiffed as he stood straight glaring down at you.

"You don't know how it feels walking into a place and having a bunch of people talking behind your back? calling you a whore, a pass time?" you crossed your arms and looked around trying to remain calm.

"Knowing Im the hot topic of the day because of you makes me sick" your tone raising without you noticing "You are making a big deal out of nothing y/n" It was Minho's turn to raise his voice, he was about to say something when he got interrupted. "Y/n everything alright?" you turn to see Mr. Hwang "Oh Mr. Hwang" you nervously laughed "Everything alright, thanks for asking" he gave you a charming smile making Minho want to puke right there "I wanted to talk to you about something, do you have a minute? he asked ignoring Minho, which pissed him off even more "yeah sure" you smiled "Let's go to my classroom then," he said and you obediently followed him completely forgetting about Minho. He stood there, body burning in jealousy.

Minho needed to clear his mind, he didn't want anger to control his feelings, but every time he remembered the way that guy talked to you and even the way he looked at you, made him wanna punch his guts, he knew you weren't his but he wanted you all to himself and that's how he ended up in the soccer field kicking the ball as hard as he could and running as fast as he could until his legs gave up.

The roller coaster of emotions drove him insane as he ran behind the ball, thinking that you might like that guy was his final stroke as his legs gave up and he landed on the soft grass of the field, tears rolling down his eyes as he couldn't understand why he felt this way towards someone he barely knew. After he lay on the grass blankly staring at the stars for like an hour he decided to try and let you go, he grabbed his phone and Tweeted that the rumor was fake and to leave you alone, he threw his phone beside him and closed his eyes.

— — —

The next day you noticed Minho publicly denied the rumor, you felt so grateful to him, a warm smile adorning your face, and you kept it a mental note that you would thank him if you saw him.

The party was today and you doubted if you should go or not but after talking with your best friend Eunchae, she convinced you to go and that's how you find yourself wearing a silk black dress with a slit and your favorite heels, for the jewelry you went with a pearl necklace and long gold earrings and for makeup you went with something natural but cute, once your hair was done you grabbed a small bag and left your dorm.

At the party you meet up with Rosé, who you quickly lost as she joined her brother and a couple of other friends, they all disappeared into the crowded place filled with warm bodies, you weren't ready for all the chaos yet; so you made your way to the bar to get a few drinks and maybe lose up enough to start dancing with people, you were feeling yourself for the first time in years, you never thought you would enjoy this; but at that moment you felt that enjoy was not enough to describe how much you were loving this party.

The taste of the bitter alcoholic drink you were consuming plus the music and neon lights of the club made you feel as if everything was in slow motion, maybe the vodka of your drink had finally begun to hit, and you could also feel the temperature of your body rising, your eyes moving in all directions inspecting the people in the room; that's when you spot him.

Lee Minho, wearing an all-black outfit, his shirt was tight enough to give his body justice, plus it had a zipper he kept half opened exposing a bit of his chest, you could see the way girls drool over him and to think you got to see more than that the day he went to your apartment.

His brunette hair and plump lips, for some reason today you felt tempted by them for the first time, the way his cat-like eyes shined under the neon lights... yeah you acknowledge he was handsome, made by the Greek Gods as you would say, however, you were never captive by his charms like today... was it the alcohol? was it because of your previous interactions? You don't know what possessed you to stand up from your seat and made your way towards him.

Once he spot you the smile he had on his face faded away, at that moment you felt he didn't want you there but the way he looked at you gave you a hint that he wanted you there more than anyone. You smiled before approaching him, a giggle escaping your soft lips "I saw that you denied the rumors..." you trace as you study his face "Thank you" you finally said after a pause. At that moment you could see how Minho's body language changed, he went from relaxed to stiff in a matter of seconds "No problem" he said with no expression at all.

This was the first time you saw him this cold towards you, you couldn't quite decipher what was wrong so to lift the mood you grabbed his hand and brag him with you towards the dancing floor "y/n what are you doing" he said as he quickly walked behind you, At this moment he could feel the warmth of your hand touching his, everything was moving in slow motion for him, he was going to treasure this memory forever.

"I don't want to dance alone... I'm shy but with you, I feel like I can be myself" You grin at him as you glare at his deep brown eyes, if this was some kdrama Minho would have kissed you by now... he didn't know how much he would last this "cold treatment" act he was trying to play on you.

"I thought you didn't like our dating allegations, this will just add fuel to them" he scoffs rolling his eyes "Come on... you are Lee Minho" You emphasize his name "Do you really care about those rumors?" he didn't say anything, the tension was increasing creating an uncomfortable environment between the two of you; but you are y/n and you won't give up easily.

Die for you by the weekend started playing and you decided to screw it and let the music guide your body. Minho just stood there watching the way your hips moved to the rhythm of the song, the way you would throw your head back exposing your cleavage, he felt like you were inducing him, putting a spell under him, the way you smiled as you were having fun... he was falling for your act.

Once the music changed he realized he was hypnotized by you the whole time, but what made his blood boil is that he wasn't the only one as he spot more than a few staring at your body, at that moment out of instinct he placed a hand on your waist and pulled you closer to his body, the contact and the warmth of his chest against yours made your stomach tingle.

A few minutes passed and he had his neck in the crook of your neck as you both danced carefreely, he would constantly pull your dress down as it kept rolling up from all the grinding and movement.

Both of your hearts pounded excitedly there was something about this moment that felt special like it was meant to be, however, you were starting to get tired as you weren't feeling the music with the same energy you started. You gently pushed Minho away thank him for the time and left to sit somewhere in the club.

Minho's heartache as you left him, he wished he could stop time so he could enjoy more of your warmth, but he couldn't do anything and he knew it, you didn't belong to him and that's why he let you go.. he stood there watching your figure disappear between the rest of the bodies "HEY MINNIE" a voice squeaked behind him and he knew exactly who it belonged to as the girl hugged his arm... it was going to be a long night for Minho.

It was around 2 am and the party continued, you were pretty tired your social battery drained hours ago, you sat at one of the chairs at the bar and scrolled through your social media, waiting for Rosé to be done so you both could call for an Uber.

"Hey pretty" You look up to see an unfamiliar face, the man was really good looking and you could tell he had more than a couple of drinks by the way he would hiccup from time to time, by his body language you knew he wanted to hit on you and that he was rather desperate, making you uncomfortable.

"Hey" you tried to be friendly either way "You are y/n right, I’m Jake, I think you are really cute" he got closer placing a hand behind your back, at this moment you panicked you had no way of escaping his grip and it was making you feel uncomfortable, also with all the drinks you had you were feeling tired "Thank you so much and nice to meet you, but I gotta go" you nervously chuckled trying to push him away.

"Come on baby… don’t leave without giving me a kiss" With that he leaned dangerously close to your face trying to steal a kiss away from you when he abruptly got pushed away, startle you looked behind to see a rather pissed off Minho "Leave her alone" he hissed at him and grabbed your hand, quickly walking you to the exit "Wait… Minho, I need to wait for Rosé," you said mumbling "Don’t worry, Felix got her" you relax knowing that she was safe with her brother.

— — —

The walk to your apartment was rather comforting than you expected, you thought the walk would be awkward like last time and filled with silence, however, you didn’t expect Minho to be the type of guy that’s easy to talk to… well what did you expect he pretty popular for a reason.

Maybe was the alcohol lingering in the air or the impulsive thought to let him inside and see what would happen, but you never expected that after the first encounter, you would let him into your apartment again.

"It’s pretty late…" you trace looking into his dark eyes "The college staff might give you a warning if they find you" Although you tried to sound as stable as possible your voice started cracking as you finished your sentence.

He opened his mouth as if he was about to say something, however, he quickly stopped in his tracks and slightly smirked "Sure" he smiled as he stepped inside the dorm and took his shoes off.

"I’m pretty tired so I’m going to change into something more comfortable," you said as you dropped your bag in the living room "Make yourself home, I will try to see if I can find something comfortable for you to wear" he looked at you as you walked around the dorm, all he could think of is how close he was but so far at the same time.

"Don’t" he quickly regretted saying that when you turned around to look at him confused "You don’t want comfy cloth?" you questioned, his cheeks lightly blushing… gosh is it the alcohol? he was going to make a mental note to never drink near you ever again "No… no… that’s not what I mean…" he traces shyly, you laugh at seeing him in this condition, where was the snarky, confident man you knew?

"Your dress" he spoke again after collecting himself "You look really pretty in it…" he paused walking closer to you with a smirk and dark eyes "Please don’t take it off yet" his hand moved closer to your face to readjust your bangs.

Once again you don’t know if it was the alcohol or the sinful thoughts you been having about him, but the urge to kiss him was unstoppable.

The way he looked at your lips with those dreamy eyes, with a soft hand resting on your cheek… everything at that moment felt perfect but you just met him a couple of days ago, that made you uneasy, but as your faces got closer and closer by the seconds you couldn’t help but let it happen; you closed your eyes in anticipation but then you came to the realization, that you are not about to kiss with the love of your life, this is Lee Minho… one of the biggest fuck boys in your college… is it worth it risking a night with him and then be the topic of conversation the next day?

You quickly moved your head to the side of his neck "Woah that tequila got me messed up" you laugh awkwardly as you backed away "Maybe on another occasion you get to see me with another pretty dress" You winked and went inside your room as quickly as possible.

Minho was left dumbfounded in the middle of your living room, he cursed himself for being too obvious and too desperate… he was scared you knew his true feelings, however, he is not the type of guy to stress over a crush so he shook his thoughts away and decided to wait for you in the living room while he watched something on the tv.

"Fuck" you mumbled as you struggled to zip your dress off, you had no trouble putting it on, but it seemed like the zipper got stuck on the fabric at some point, you walked around the room questioning what to do <C’mon y/n… you live alone if he wasn’t here what would you do…> stress quickly overtook you as you got more and more desperate trying to get rid of the dress <I guess I could cut it> you thought as you spotted a pair of scissors in your table <But its channel… I went on bankrupt to get it> you cried internally <They better make better quality zippers next time> you sigh in defeat.

Shyly you walk over to your door, the faint sound of the tv getting louder as you are slightly open the door "Ermmm Minho" you said quietly in a whisper, surprisingly that was loud enough to get his attention "Yeah" he said his gaze not leaving the screen in front of him "I need your help" this time he turned around with a confused look "The zipper is stuck… can you help me?" you said sounding defeated.

He hummed in agreement scared that if he used his words he would make his excitement obvious, you grabbed his hand and led him into your room, it was the first time he ever saw it, the scent of lavender and vanilla that surround your room smelled just like you, he studied the room spotting a bunch of books all over the floor.

"Don't mind the mess" you say "I have been busy with work" You sigh as your turn your back and moved your hair exposing the zipper of your dress "Don't worry about it, out of all the girl's rooms I have been, yours is the most exciting to be in" he mumbled as he focused on zipping the dress down; you blushed at his comment although you try to not mind it.

"Really? Usually, boys like it when a girl's room is clean," you said as you hold your dress by the chest so you don't flash him, he hummed at your response "A clean room doesn't tell much about you... a messy room feels more intimate," he said looking at the surroundings "by the bunch of books in the floor I can tell you use them often" he paused scanning the room one more time "And..." you could feel the tone in his voice change to a teasing one "by the panties laying on the floor" you look to see where he was pointing at "I can tell you left in a rush that you couldn't pick them up"

Your eyes widen in embarrassment and you could feel your cheeks burn "MINHO" you squealed hitting his chest, Minho chuckled treasuring the moment, everything about this felt intimate, helping you with the zipper, being in your messy room, the way you turned bright red out of embarrassment, he wanted this to turn part of his daily routine and maybe it was because of the alcohol or because of the euphoria of the moment but he wished he could just throw you on the bed and worship you in every single way, however, he shoved his thoughts aside and continued helping you.

He placed a hand on your bare shoulder, and his warm palm sent chills down your spine "Hmmm" he furrowed his eyes and tighten his grip on your shoulder "You weren’t joking when you said it was stuck" he scratched his neck trying to think of a way to get it out "Oh c’mon, you are a man it shouldn’t be hard for you" you spat, desperation getting the best of you.

An airy chuckle left his lips ticking your neck "Now that was a little sexist coming from you princess" you scoff at the pet name his been giving you "Just please take it off, I'm getting hot" you cried "Alright, but don’t blame me if it breaks" he raised his hand before readjusting his position to zip the zipper down.

After what seemed 2 minutes of struggle, he pulled the zipper as hard as he could, not realizing the brute force he used; the zipper snatched in less than a second, your dress falling to your ankles as fast as the light; both of your bodies tensed, you because you realize you wore your black lace undies just in case you brought someone home, on the other hand, Minho tensed as he realizes he messed up and that you were wearing no bra.

"I-" he paused trying to collect himself "I’m sorry" he almost screamed as he threw a pillow at you and turned to look away, you couldn’t help but burst out laughing at the situation, if this would have happened while you were sober it would’ve been a different story, however, the alcohol roaming around your blood made you feel more carefree "YAHH" you screamed in between laughs "You are the one who ripped my dress off, I should be the one throwing pillows at you" you grabbed the dress from the floor to cover yourself and picked up the pillow he threw at you and started attacking him with it.

The room was filled with giggles and pillow feathers as you randomly started a pillow fight. During one of your attacks, Minho was quick enough to turn you around so you would be under him, the sweat forming on his forehead and the dim lights of your apartment made it a delightful sight.

"What? Already falling for me" he smirked as he got slightly closer to your face testing the waters, you scoff and smiled back hanging your hands behind his neck "You wish" You moved one of your hands to his face and traced his features like if he was some type of sculpture "However…" you quickly stopped yourself from continuing before you made a mistake "However?" he whispered as his eyes looked from your eyes to your lips back to your eyes, one of the hands that was resting besides your face moved to grab the side of your waist and slightly massage it.

You parted your lips contemplating if the words that were about to come out of your mouth would be worth it "fuck it" you mumbled as you closed the gap and gently kissed his lips.

You can’t describe the feeling of his lips on yours… they are soft… really soft and warm, it felt like you were on cloud 9, as your lips parted a faint moan left his lips in complaint "I wanna taste you" you whispered in his ear, his eyes quickly turned dark in lust and the smirk planted on his face could only describe his satisfaction at that moment.

Were you going to regret it tomorrow when you were completely sober with a hangover? yes… definitely but it's Lee Minho when do you get the chance to get laid by such a man? FUCK IT.

Once again you pushed him down your lips, this time the kiss being rough and desperate, moans leaving in between kisses "You don’t know the mistake you are doing" he mumbles in between the kiss, you parted your lips to look into his eyes and smile at him innocently "I know what I'm doing" you took your arms off his neck and move them to reveal a little bit of your cleavage.

You were teasing him and he knew, the bulge on his pants being an indicator he was enjoying it "fuck" with no warning he grabbed your hands and placed them on top of your head, one of his hands grabbing them down while the other stopped him from crushing you, his lips went back to yours, his tongue dancing along with yours, bitting your lips here and there, you spread your legs unconsciously making him smirk as he placed his leg in between your thighs and pressed into your panties, which by the second were getting wetter and wetter.

You swore you could get drunk on the wet kisses he was leaving all around your neck and cleavage, they were so addictive and the way he would force you to make eye contact or else he would stop had you on the edge. He made his way to your ear and bit it while you tried your best to not grind on his leg.

"You are getting too desperate princess" he whispered while gently caressing your wrists his been holding this whole time, he placed a chaste kiss on your lips "It’s time to stop" your eyes widen at his words… stop?! does he really want to stop??? did you do something wrong…

"Why?" You questioned as he was getting up "D-did I do something wrong" The panic in your tone scared him "No princess, of course not" he said while he hugged you and caressed your hair "I don’t get it.." you trace trying to hold back your tears from embarrassment "You are drunk… we are both drunk… I don’t want to take advantage of the situation" you pulled away from the hug and look into his eyes trying to see if he was joking, but to your surprise he wasn’t, he was straight up serious <A fuck boy who doesn’t want to fuck> you thought as he grabbed your hand "You should go to bed, it's pretty late princess" he stood up and guided you to your bed, he planted a kiss on your forehead before leaving "Sweet dreams princess, don’t forget to include me in them" he chuckled as he closed the door and left you with no words in your bed.

— — —

Two months passed and you and Minho became really good friends, both of you seemed to collectively agree to never talked about that night ever again; although there was some tension lingering between the two of you, you decided to ignore it, mostly because Vanessa has been sending you threatening notes from time to time; she believes you have no clue who those notes come from but it couldn’t be more obvious; the situation was more annoying than scary.

Another reason why you and Minho kept things as they are is because of soccer, he is busy with practice you barely see him, and only during your engineering class and parties rosé makes you tag along.

You have also been busy with your self-development or that's what you call it. You have made a bunch of new friends, mostly thanks to Hyunjin, he is supposed to be your professor but you truly appreciate the soft spot he has for you "I have been in your place" he told you once when he invited you for a quick treat, since that day you understood that he is helping you do things he wished he did during his college career.

So far you are loving the new version of yourself and you rather focus on yourself than on anything else.

— — —

"YAH MINHO" you squealed as you land harshly on the soft grass. It’s been a week since Minho begged you to join him at one of his soccer practices.

You scoffed as he screamed at the tv "This players are ass, I could beat them any day" You shoot at him but quickly regretted your words as he gave you a death glare "Don’t you dare insult my idols like that, I bet your ass won’t last a minute in a game or worse a second at a practice" you took that as a challenge, one that you regretted the day after; since then his been bugging you around with it so you finally cave in.

"Told you" he continued to laugh historically "You are too pretty to last a minute in a soccer practice" he smirked while he walked to you to help you.

You roll your eyes at his words and stood up yourself, rejecting his help, you walked towards your backpack "Woahh quitting already" You could feel the quirkiness in his tone as he followed behind you.

"You wish, Im just getting started" You took a ponytail out of your bag and turned around to face him while you do a medium ponytail.

Minho has been trying to hide his feelings for you, but it's the bare minimum you do that gets him flustered, the way your soft hair moves as you tie it and little details in your face like the mole in your bottom lip that makes him wanna kiss every single inch of you.

A loud smack is what snatched him out of his thoughts, he looks at you blankly while caressing his cheek "What the actual fuck y/n" he says in amusement which you only blink innocently in return.

"I asked you something and you never replied so I found out a good smack would kick you back to your senses" You smiled as he looked at you offended.

"I would beat your ass right now but that’s something I’m saving for another occasion" You could sense the double meaning behind his words but you shrugged it off "Other occasions will it be" you chuckled "Anyway back to what I was saying" you roll your eyes knowing he didn’t hear a word of what you were saying.

"Why do women's sports shorts have to be shorter than men’s sports shorts" You looked down at your legs "You are wearing Nike Pros, those are supposed to make you feel comfortable while moving" you scoff "Comfortable?!?!" you paused to look at him in disbelief.

"How am I supposed to feel comfortable when I feel my ass is bare naked" Out of instinct Minho tilted his head to check you out, making you hit his chest "YAH LEE MINHO" You gave him a death glare as he swung his hand in the air in defense.

"I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to my body just moved," he said in panic, his ear turning in a faint shade of red "Whatever let's just start this practice" You pushed him and walked towards the center of the field.

After the hours passed you felt how your body was dragging you down to the grass, the cold and soft grass touching your skin, sweat dripping down your face as you tried to control your heavy breath.

The feeling of the cold breeze touching your body and the sight of a sky covered with stars felt so euphoric, a moment you wished to be trapped in. It was a feeling you haven’t experienced before, you were used to exercising but this felt different; it felt comforting… safe.

"This is a vulnerable moment for a soccer player" Minho whispered next to you, trying not to ruin your moment.

You turn your face to see him, his sharp features being hit by the soft moonlight, breeze moving his hair lightly "Tell me more" you whispered back.

Even though Minho couldn’t see your face he knew you were smiling, he could feel it in your tone "Once your legs give up to the point your body brags you down to the grass" he trails, debating whether he should turn his face to face you "That’s when you know, you did your best, that's the moment you realize you can rest from all your hard work, it’s like a prize you know?" He turns to face you, your eyes were wide looking at him, he could see the shine of the stars in them.

"A prize" you raise an eyebrow "But what if I feel like I didn’t do my best?" he chuckles "It’s a prize because it's a feeling that lets you clear your mind, you may lay down in the grass feeling like a piece of shit but when you get up, you feel like you can rule the world" he chuckles when he sees your face even more confused "Forget it, you won’t get it," he said as he sat down.

"This is going to sound crazy but I think I do" You copy his movements and sat "It’s weird but I feel refreshed…" you mumbled as you stare at the stars.

As you both stay there in awe a shooting star flew across the sky "Woah" you both said in synchronization, turning to face each other and laughing "Make a wish" he said as he went back to stare at the stars "You should make one too" you closed your eyes to make your wish "I already did" he mumbled as he stared at you.

To this day he hates himself for loving you the way he does. After that night at your apartment, he tried to distance himself, he wanted to take things slow, he wanted you to know him for who he is not for the fuck boy image he won over the years. He wanted you to be madly in love the way he was, he wanted you to crave his attention the same way he did with you.

"What did you wish for?" You broke the silence slightly opening your eyes "It’s a secret if I tell you I might jinx it" you scoff in annoyance "Not fair, now Im curious" You closed your eyes again "Just finish your wish and let’s go, It's getting chilly" He stood up to grab your belongings and get ready to leave.

— — —

The days keep flying by, and Minho’s company became something of your daily life; no matter where you were or the time, he would find a way to be there. At first, you thought it was who he was, pretending not to care about others but secretly wanting to be with them; but as you progressively got closer to him, you noticed the special treatment he would give you from time to time.

Your friendship anniversary was getting closer as yellowish colors started to paint the trees. It was a chilly night on the October breeze when he mentioned it to you "Isn’t it crazy, how it has been almost a year since the morning you ran into me"

You never took track of time the same way Minho did, he would remember every single date he considered special or worthy of remembering.

"Can’t believe so much has happened during that period" you said in a nostalgic tone, remembering how you met, the rumors, the day you became known because of a boy's attention.

That day on your way home, you scrolled through your phone, looking at all the silly videos and pictures you took with your friends and Minho. You wonder what would’ve happened if you hadn’t crashed on Minho that day… would you still be unknown? Would the two of you eventually meet?

All the what if’s started to give you a headache, so you threw yourself in bed and decided to go on a slumber sleep.

— — —

The way his soft lips left wet kisses all over your neck was a delight to your soul and body, the faint whimpers that left his mouth as if he was begging you for more, you opened your eyes, looking at the brunette boy on top of you.

You couldn’t see his face but everything felt a little too familiar, you moved your hand to squeeze his hair, giving light tugs that would gain soft moans from him "Can I" his voice was raspy and soft there was care in his tone.

You just nodded as he slid a hand under your pajama shirt and teased your boobs, drawing circles around your nipples but not touching them, his lips too busy with your lips as his tongue explored yours.

A loud moan escaped your mouth as he suddenly pinched your nipple, a smirk forming on his lips "Please let me fuck you till you scream my name" he whispered in your ears while nibbling it; you just nod at the sensation, you wanted him to do more than teasing, he was making you desperate and he knew it… both of you knew it by the way you crossed your legs in search of some friction "Easy princess, let me worship you" he moved back to your lips, the room being filled with wet noises coming from them, his hands moved from your boobs to your legs, separating them as he left your lips once again.

His body was now kneeling in between your legs, your body temperature rising even though you were wearing shorts and a t-shirt. His soft hands caressed your thighs as he made eye contact with you, the crazy feeling about all this was that you couldn’t see his face clearly, which made you even more desperate. "May I take it off" he signaled at your shirt, there was something about him asking for consent that made you feel a pool of butterflies in your stomach, you slightly nodded, suddenly feeling aware of the situation.

The smirk that adorned his face suddenly softened as he stared at your body topless "Fuck" he mumbled to himself as he dived into his chest, his mouth wrapping automatically on one of your nipples as he played him with the other one with his hand. The way his tongue would move up and down on your nipple would make you squirm in place, There was something delightful about the way he would aggressively suck on your nipple but would leave kisses on them whenever you made a sound of complaint.

As he kept working on your tits with his mouth, one of his hands slid down to tease the band on your shorts, hand sliding even deeper to touch your pussy lips, his middle finger moving up and down your folds dispersing the wetness all over your core. "Please" you begged through moans as your hips unconsciously moved to grind on his finger "Say my name and you have it" he teased biting your lips, you cried in frustration you didn’t know who he was, suddenly he slipped the finger inside you making you moan loud as the sensation "Please" you cried "Say my name" he kept whispering in your ear as he trusted his finger inside you painfully slow.

You squirmed underneath him tears falling down your cheeks as you tried to find his name in the back of your head, a second finger was inserted slowly stretching you out "Please let me fuck your cunt senseless" he begged "Say my name y/n… please" he sounded just as desperate as you, at least you knew he was also being tortured.

The torture continue as you felt his boner on your thigh, his position switching so he could give ghostly kisses on your clit, your hips buckled up at the sensation, his nose hitting that spot you needed him to work on, a moan came out of both of your mouths "Please say my name" he kept repeating, frustration overtaking you as you start to cry "Please just fuck me" you cried grabbing his hair so he would look at you "PLEASE" you cried even harder, your head going blank by the second "MINHO PLEASE FUCK ME"

Suddenly you jumped out of your bed, hitting yourself on your night table "OUCHH" you hissed as you curled yourself up in the bed, then you remembered your dream, the obvious wetness you felt between your legs being the evidence that you did have a wet dream about Minho.

You cringe at yourself as you turn to face the ceiling… what was happening? where you developing feelings for him? <Nah… I don’t think so…> You told yourself <Maybe it’s the hormones… I haven’t been laid in a while> you laugh it off as you get up from your bed to take a shower and clean yourself, however, you still felt unease at the dream you just had.

— — —

After that dream you decided to take a hot shower, and wash away all the sweat and thoughts from your head; however, the shower didn’t quite help you forget about the dream or Minho.

Suddenly your bell rang shrugging you off from your thoughts, quickly you closed your shower and wrapped yourself with your towel, you weren’t expecting any visitors since it was a Sunday night. You looked through the peephole and spotted Minho… looking a little beat up?

"Gosh, Minho what happened" you spat quickly as soon as you opened the door, distress in your tone as he falls in your arms. He was struggling to keep up with weight so you grabbed him and tried to walk him towards your couch.

"I lost my match" he groaned grabbing his head and squeezing his hair "Easy there…" You grabbed his hands stopping him from hurting himself; he gave your hands a light squeeze and sighed.

His pupils were dilated and his eyes looked rather red and watery, was he crying? Was he drunk? maybe both… you were quite confused trying to figure out his state "Were you drinking?" you questioned as you stood to pour him a glass of water.

He was silent for a bit collecting his thoughts "I usually don’t make a big deal when I lose…" he trace as he shifted on the couch, his arms and legs spreading across the couch, head falling back with a sigh. You knew this wasn’t the right moment but the sight of him manspreading in your couch with his soccer uniform was quite a view.

"But" he trailed once again before pausing "Vanessa" he sighed, the tension he was putting on his words was sending you over the edge, couldn’t he get straight to the point "She is making my life impossible" he groaned, you walked back to couch placing the cup of water in the table and sitting next to him "What’s wrong? Is she following you around again? I thought she got a boyfriend…" You were honestly startled at the mention of her name, Vanessa started dating Lucas a couple of months ago, he was the captain of the soccer team and a really handsome and extremely popular guy. "That’s the problem" he placed his hands on his face in frustration "She is only dating Lucas to be "closer" to me" he quoted the word with his hands while rolling his eyes.

"Today Lucas found a letter she was planning to give me… confessing her feelings" The more he talked the more you could sense anger in his tone "He got sooo pissed off and placed me as a sub player for today's match" he sat down and looked into your eyes in disbelief "ME A SUB PLAYER?!" He scoffed "I’m literally the star" he spat quickly grabbing the cup of water and taking a sip.

"Worst part he placed me in the last 10 minutes of the game when we were losing 1-3" he placed the cup back on the table.

"He thought I was gonna pull a hat trick of my ass and save the game, but ofc I didn’t" This time he sounded disappointed rather than mad "At the end of the game the coach scolded me for "poor performance" he quoted his words, then scoffed before leaning back against the couch.

"I felt like shit, useless" he paused "Yah Lee Minho" You grabbed his shoulder which got no reaction from him, seeing him vulnerable like this made your heart shatter in pieces. You knew how much Minho treasured soccer and the sacrifices he does for that sport, seeing him like this because of selfish people made your blood boil.

"I thought a couple shots of alcohol were going to make me feel better" he paused, silence filling the room "but it didn’t" he turned to look at you with a soft gaze, eyes threatening to shed tears as he made eye contact with yours. Soft big eyes that could hold the galaxy in them, Minho treasured them, your eyes were like the door to your soul he could tell what you were thinking by just looking at them, he admired them.

“Then I thought of you” He gave you a warm smile before softly chuckling “It instantly made me smile. So I thought I might gave you a visit” He looked around your apartment before fixing his gaze on you once again.

“It’s…” He paused choosing his words carefully “It’s been a while since I last came here” You chuckle “You are right” Deep down you knew he was trying to switch the conversation, although you wanted to comfort him you figured the best way to do it was by giving the company he needed.

“Although we don’t speak of the last time” You raised your hands in defense, it was his turn to laugh at your actions.

“Now…” You said softly “If you don’t mind, I’m gonna go change. You took me by surprise” If you hadn’t pointed out that you weren’t wearing clothes but a towel Minho would’ve never noticed.

His eyes quickly glanced down, taking into his view a couple of water droplets laying down in your cleavage, your wet long hair dripping down on the couch. His eyes darkened and a shade of crimson red sparkled in his ears.

He cleared his tone “I… ummm sorry for interrupting your bath” He touch his neck in embarrassment. He opened his mouth to say something else, probably another apology so you stopped him. You placed a hand in his bicep to comfort him “Don’t worry about it, I’m here for you” You gave him the most sincere smile Minho has ever seen in his life, a shock of excitement rushing down his body to his… you know.

If you could manage to give him a boner with your smile, he can’t imagine with your body. Minho wasn’t a fan of sexualizing you, he adore you too much to not feel guilt. However he is only human after all.

“I’ll be back. Feel yourself at home” you nudge him with your elbow before getting up and disappearing to your room. He just sat there in the middle of your living room contemplating his life choices, he knew he was at a very vulnerable state, not only emotionally but also physically. He could feel the shots of vodka he took before rushing down his body. One thought let to another and that’s when he decided that if he was going to fuck it up, it was going to be tonight.

He prepared a mini speech in the back of his head, ready to blurt it out once you stepped a foot out of your room. The adrenaline sobering him up as the seconds passed by. What fell like an eternity you finally opened the door to your room, coming out in a set of black silk pijamas. He could feel his dick throbbing in his pants as he saw you walking out <Keep yourself together Minho> He mentally cursed himself.

“Sorry for the delay, I couldn’t find my fave pj’s so I had to stick with this one” you walk over to the kitchen looking for something to eat. Minho just looked at you wondering how you could be so nonchalant about it. Like it wasn’t a big deal… well… it wasn’t… but considering he was fucked up and you we wearing a set of silk pijamas the smoothly hugged your curves was making him even more insane.

“Are you craving something” You ask reaching to the top shelf in your kitchen, trying to grab your favorite snacks “I can ask delivery, I only have leftovers and-“ Your breathe hitched as you could feel his warm body behind you.

“Here” He turned you around and gave you the bag of chips you were struggling to get “T-thank you” you grabbed them and placed them in the counter next to you. However he didn’t move, your body being pressed against the counter. Although he wasn’t fully close to you, the way he looked at your lips drawn you closer to him without even noticing.

“Y/n” he placed a hand on your cheek “I… I have something I been wanting to tell you for a while now” His cheeks blushed in embarrassment, he has never confessed to anyone before and he had no idea what the outcomes could be in this situation. “I been crushing on you for a while now. I been trying to swallow my feelings but I can’t. It’s gotten to the point that I can’t look straight into your eyes cause I’m afraid I will make a mistake” He stopped to analyze your face, he looked into your eyes and found an expression he has never seen before… it was unreadable.

A knot started to form in his throat as breathing suddenly became a hard task for his body to do. You notice his body shaking and placed a hand in his chest and moved your other hand to fix his bangs “Minho… I” you laughed softly “I been feeling the same for a while now. Although I never saw you as something more than a friends, recently you been in my mind lately” The smile that adorned his face in that moment was the most stunning thing you have seen in your life. The way his eyes would wrinkle from his big grin. Minho was just to precious for you to ever harm.

Both of your bodies started to unconsciously get closer to each other like magnets, his face centimeters away from yours “Can I…” You could feel his breathe hitting your lips as he spoke, his eyes never breaking contact with yours as he placed one of his hands on your waist and the other in your hair “May I kiss you?” Something you loved about Minho was his gesture of asking for consent. You didn’t have a big dating history but the few guys you dated never asked you for permission to kiss you or anything else.

You nodded afraid that if you used your words it would expose your excitement. His lips were soft on yours, his movements delicate as if he was savoring the moment, studying every single line in your lips. A soft gasp left your lips as his tongue tapped your bottom lip asking for permission to go in.

It’s been a while since you and Minho kissed on that night, but the fact that now you were both sober… well half sober in case of Minho, however, kissing him sober felt like a whole new world. The way the butterflies erupted in your stomach and the warmth of his hand left a huge impact on your body.

As the kiss started to get more desperate more needy, Minho lifted you up and sat you on the counter, making room for his body in between your thighs. His boner slightly pressing into your pussy, A moan escape your lips in between kisses, the gripped you had in his hair tightening. He groaned as he bit your lip in lust, his eyes opening to look at your face and smile “Do you mind if I mark you” Here we go with the butterflies again, your stomach doing black flips “You can do whatever you want as long as I can do same” He smiled into your neck before biting the soft flesh, you whimper trying to hold back your moan. You were really ticklish and hated when people touched it, however, this felt different a hundred times better.

As he kept leaving wet kisses in every spot he could find. You could feel your stomach rumbling around, you tried to ignore it, however, as it progressively started to get louder you couldn’t anymore. Pushing him off slightly, cheeks burning in embarrassment “I’m hungry” you said with puppy eyes, the room bursting in laughs as his stomach proceeded to groan as well.

“Let me treat you then” He smiled as he helped you down the counter. You didn’t knew he was a great cook, the way his hands cut the vegetables in such a skillful way “You are giving Husband material right now” You joked as you continue to stare at him. He hated the way you could say such words in such a nonchalant way, not knowing the way those words impacted his body, your words going straight to his heart and down to his dick… he couldn’t help it.

He sighed as he placed the knife down looking at you, a smirk forming in his face ready to tease you “Marry me and I will show you how husband material I can be” His dark eyes never left yours, threatening you to stare away, however, you weren’t going to let him win that easily “You wish” you scoffed looking back at your phone, he chuckled “Say’s miss wet panties” You choke on your saliva at his words- how can he be this imprudent?! “Excuse me” you move your gaze back to his, the smug on his face giving you butterflies “I could feel it while we were kissing, your shorts don’t leave much to the imagination” He said as he proceeded to cut the vegetables. Your face turning crimson red as you tried to hide yourself “YAHHH” you threw a piece of potato as him, making him chuchas “Easy there princess, shouldn’t throw food at the possible father of your children” Your eyes widen… this man was really something else. You laugh “Lets not get too ahead of ourselves, you just confessed, are you still drunk?” you tease him, he hummed “I don’t know, want to test it out? See if I make any mistakes” You knew what his words meant and even though it was very tempting all you were craving right now was some good food.

The rest of the night went smoothly, both of you ate and watched shitty shows on your couch, both of your bodies cuddling under your soft blanket. Maybe this was the beginning of you adventures with Minho.

———

It’s been exactly a week since Minho asked you to be his girlfriend. It was a random Friday when you opened your locker to get your math book a letter with little cat drawings falling down to your feet. When you opened it you were greeted with Minho’s hand writing inviting you to go to the field that night.

As you walk anxiously around the field, you look around trying to spot him. Suddenly a hand grabbed yours startling you, in reflex you tried to punch whoever grabbed you but they acted on time and stopped your hand “Easy there Princess” he chuckled. Relief showered down your body as you see him laughing in front of you.

As you scolded him, he grabbed your hand and walked you through a path you have never seen before. You could see lights at the distance, curiosity rising in your head as you kept asking questions; however he never replied he just kept quiet till you reached your destination.

It was a tree house, it wasn’t too far from the field and it was hidden in the tiny forest next to the field, you have never been in one before. He grabbed your hand and told you to trust him. Once there he told you the story about the tree house and how its special to him and his family. Butterflies ran through your stomach at the thought of being the first girl he has ever brought there, it made you feel special. The house was adorned with fairy lights and comfy blankets, a bottle of wine and snacks being placed on a small table. He played your favorite movie, however, out of nowhere it started glitching and the small movie projector turned off. You sighed in disappointment, turning to see Minho. Your eyes widen and your jaw dropped as he was suddenly carrying a ring.

“M-Min… what’s this?” Your brain couldn’t process what was happening at that moment, a million thoughts running through your mind “A-“ you paused “Are you asking me to marry you?!?” Your voice increasing in a high pitch as you talk, you were scared, wasn’t it too soon?! he could see the panic in your face and decided to speak before you decided to hit and run like the first time you met.

You got pulled out of your thoughts as his laugh filled the room “No silly” he grabbed your hand and placed the ring on your finger “It’s a promise ring” He placed his hand on your cheek so your gaze was fixated on his “Every time I think of my future you are in there, and its driving me crazy to the point you won’t leave my mind” The more he spoke the more embarrassed he got, you could see the way his face turned into a light shade of red and the way his voice trembled “I know I’m being too cheesy and I can guarantee you I won’t be able to sleep in peace tonight… but you know” He took a deep breath “I will be able to sleep at peace tonight knowing that you are my girlfriend” He took a second to analyze your face before speaking again “Y/n… would you be my girlfriend?” He tilted his head and smiled, the gesture reminded you of a curious kitten and it made your heart melt. You quickly squealed and wrapped your hands behind his neck stealing a kiss from him “I hope that answer your questions” You say as your lips separate from each, just to reunited a second later. Since then everything has been going smooth, however, its been just one week so you didn’t want to jinx things.

Your doorbell rang and you opened your door to find a big teddy bear behind it.

“Surpriseeee” Minho screamed as he shoved the teddy bear to your arms “Happy one week princess” He tried to kiss you but couldn’t because of the teddy bear in between your bodies “Im gonna do a mental note to buy a smaller one next time” Both of you chuckled as you placed the bear on your living room couch.

“I didn’t knew you were coming today” You softly kiss his lips smiling “My plan was actually to take you out for dinner, but I got assigned a house project” His smile slowly faded away, disappointment taking over his tone “Soo I decided to buy you a small gift” You laugh as you stare at the big ass bear sitting on your couch, you wonder if it would fit in your bed. “I’m still mad Im trapped with the project though… it was last minute too” He cried “Worst part Is that I have to work with Angie and someone else. Working with Vanessa’s minion is definitely hell” He dramatically threw himself into your couch hugging the bear.

“Angie? Damn that’s tough” you sat on his lap and planted your face on the crook of his neck “You got this though” you left a kiss on his cheek and smiled fondly at him. “You sure know how to make my day princess” He sighed “Well I gotta go, I love you so much” He gave you a peck on your lips before exiting your apartment.

— — —

It was around 4pm when your phone started exploding with messages.

Rosie <3 : Y/N

Rosie <3 : Y/NNIE~~~

Rosie <3 : MY PRECIOUS Y/N PLEASE REPLY

Rosie <3 : BITCH IF YOU DONT ANSWER THAT GOD DAMN PHONE

Rosie <3 : WHY DO YOU EVEN HAVE ONE?

What do you want? : Y/N

Rosie <3 : Would you go to Jennie’s party with me tomorrow night?!?! Pleaspkeapelaopslepalplsssss

I don’t know…. : Y/N

I made plans with Minho : Y/N

Rosie <3 : Y/N NOOOO THEY GOT YOU, I KNEW YOU ONCE YOU SHOWED ME THE RING.

Rosie <3 : BUT ITS SATURDAYYY.

Rosie <3 : ITS GIRLIES NIGHT

sigh… I will think about it : Y/N

Rosie <3 : THANK YOU LORDDD

Rosie <3 : let me know latest tomorrow afternoon

Rosie <3 : ttyl~~

Byeeeee <;3 : Y/N

You stared at your phone thinking how Minho would react if you suddenly ditch him, technically both of you planned this outing. Switching plans on him out of nowhere was definitely not looking good.

You could hear a faintly ding from your phone as you started to drift away from your sleep, eyes heavy you started to search for you phone without moving your head. You groaned as soon as you saw the time, it was already 10pm. You had no idea when you had fallen asleep, all you remembered was watching south park and eating some leftovers. As you progressively started to wake up you opened the notification that initially woke you up.

It was an unknown number and an image was attached, you raised an eyebrow in confusion as the picture started to load. Your heart dropping immediately to your stomach as you stare at the picture.

It was Minho kissing a girl. You immediately zoomed into the picture, hoping it was all a joke, however, it was not. He was wearing the same clothes he wore today, one of his hands was on the girls chest while the other grabbed her arm. You tried to figure out who was that girl in the picture, your heart dropping once again as you figure out it was Vanessa, you always thought you didn’t have to worry about her; after all Minho seemed to hate her, however, you couldn’t deny she was gorgeous. She was a straight up barbie, plus she was Minho’s ex… what if after a week of dating you he realize he loved her? that he wanted her?

Tears started falling down your cheeks, a knot forming in your throat as you desperately cried in your bed. Your phone flew away across the room as you looked at the bear he gave you “YOU TOLD ME YOU LOVED ME” you punched the bear before throwing it across the room like your phone. You honestly couldn’t believe it yet… while you were sleeping daydreaming on your next date he was kissing some other chick. You stared at your promise ring. As much as you wanted to you couldn’t take it off, you wanted all this to be a joke a set up… but the evidence was water clear. One final tear rolled down your cheek as you took the ring off your finger, you tried to throw it in your garbage but your heart wasn’t strong enough for that, so you opt out to place it in your night table.

That night you cried yourself to sleep, hoping it was all a bad dream.

———

The next morning you are woken up by the sound of your doorbell, whoever was behind that door was definitely desperate to go in. The ringing sound embedded in your head, making you annoyed.

You look through the peephole a wave of emotions attacking you as you see who was behind that door… a knot formed in your throat and tears threatened to fall. You backed away from the door as quiet as possible, trying to make no sound so he would think you weren’t home. The audacity he had to come to your house after cheating on you last night. Maybe the project thing he mentioned you was a lame excuse to go see Vanessa.

You go back to your room ignoring the continuos ringing from the doorbell. You pick up your phone from the floor to find 100+ notifications from Minho, he probably found out he got caught and tried to explain it to you. You weren’t feeling it today, you wanted to forget everything. So you texted Rosé confirming that you were going to the party, whats the best way to fix a broken heart without alcohol?

Two hours passed and Minho finally gave up trying to contact you, he called, texted, passed letters through the opening of your door. For a moment you thought he was not giving up. You knew he left once you heard Rosé’s voice on the other side of the door, you could hear her scolding Minho; telling him to leave you alone for once. He tried to explain things to Rosé, however, she never replied to anything he said.

You got startled when you heard a knocked on your door “Y/n its me~”By the tone in her voice you knew she was trying to distract you. Her voice was sweet and playful. You opened the door to find her with food in her hand “I grabbed something to eat before coming here” She lifted the bag, a big warming smile adorning her face.

Both of you were having a good time eating the food she bought and gossiping around, it was just some quality girl time, last time you had one was a couple days before you and Minho started dating. You didn’t knew how much you missed it till now.

“I don’t really wanna touch the topic between you and that asshole” She exhaled as she thought of her words carefully “But… I think you should listen to him… I mean… he looks too heartbroken for it to be something he did willingly” She finally lifted her head to look at you “His eyes looked tired, he looked like a mess… I have never seen him like this before… He definitely did not sleep last night” She laughed softly trying to lighten the situation.

“I know… I know… but I don’t know how to feel about all this, I want to hear him out but my ego won’t let me” You sighed picking up the dirty dishes “Now lets start getting ready for tonights party, I’m trying to get white girl wasted and have fun” You laughed making Rosé laugh along with you, however, She felt uneasy… she knew how much you hated parties and every single word that just came out of your mouth, wasn’t something you would say in your daily, but she is your friend and supports you 24/7, so she got up from the couch and ran out to you “WOOOO PARTY IN THE USAAA” She screamed while jumping up and down around you.

You took a long bath, it was comforting and relaxing. The way the warm water wrapped your body, you sometimes wishes you could live in your bathtub, it was just too good to be true. You got out and checked yourself in the mirror, you felt hot. Your boobs, ass, curves, everything was perfect to your eyes. You smirked thinking that this is what Minho lost, maybe and you weren’t perfect like other girls but you loved yourself and that’s what mattered.

You grabbed a purple silk dress, it wasn’t the type of dress you would wear considering how short it was and a v neckline that punctuated your cleavage. Rosé made you bought it the moment you both saw it at a store “Save it for a special night” she teased as she brainwashed you to buy it. You never expected to use it but it was too pretty to not get it.

You wore your favorite pearl dress and some sutil earrings, you wore your favorite pair of high heels and call it a day, you came out of the bathroom Rosé’s jaw dropping as she saw you.

“GIRL” She squealed “YOU ARE TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE” She started doing a happy dance “Let me do your makeup and hair and off we go to party land” The excitement in her voice made you forget everything, Rosé was the type of person that could make you feel better in no time, you were really grateful for meeting her.

The moment both of you stepped inside the party everyone’s eyes were on you. You two shared a knowing look and dashed to the bar to get some drinks, giggles and squeaks taking over your conversation as the alcohol ran through your system. Pink Whitney was your weakness, every time you drank it you couldn’t stop, it wasn’t because it was tasty even though it tasted way better than most alcohol, but it was because it made you feel sober making you drink more, but more you drink it, the more fucked up you got.

Two hours passed and you lost track of how many shots you have chugged down, you were currently playing beer pong with Jennie and other friends when you felt the urge to use the restroom. Politely you excused yourself and walked towards the bathroom. What you saw shouldn’t have hurt you the way it did. It was Minho… kissing someone but this time it wasn’t Vanessa, it was some other girl you have never seen before. The way he pinned her against the lonely hallway and placed his knee in between her tights… the sight was enough to sober you up, your heart shattering like a crystal figure that had been slammed against a wall; you were for real done with him.

“You guys lasted more than I imagined” Her voice drew shivers down your spine, you turn to face her, trying to hide your tears “Me and my girls bet that you guys would last 2 days” She laughed looking at you, you felt pathetic “Don’t feel bad though, he is a fuck boy he is meant to play with girls” She faked a pout and caressed your hair “Vanessa, I don’t know whats your deal but leave me alone” You unintentionally raised your voice catching Minho’s and the other girl attention.

“Shit” Minho mumbled under his breath “Y/n wait” he said as you started running away from there, he tried to follow behind you but was stopped by the girl he was kissing, Vanessa turned around to look at your figure disappear between all the bodies, a smirk adorning her face.

You cleaned your tears before telling Rosé that you were calling it a day, you didn’t want to ruin her fun so you didn’t mention the incident. As you walked out of the party you crashed into someone, your eyes widening.

“Mr Hyunjin?” You said in surprise, he chuckled at you “Hey y/n, leaving already?” He looked stunning, his long blond hair and casual attire gave you butterflies, you were used to see him in his typical teacher attire, at some point you thought he had no fashion taste by the way he dressed but now you understood that just his class attire. “Yeah…” You softly exhaled trying to hide your disappointment “May I ask why you are at a student party” You raised an eyebrow in curiosity, the sight making him laugh “Jennie and me went to the same high school, we are really close friends. However due to early degree, I have to keep it professionally” The smile in his face never faded away as he talked “Do you mind telling me how you got your teaching degree that fast?” He laughed again at your curiosity he find it really cute “Sure, but its a long story, why don’t we go somewhere else to talk?” That was an offer you couldn’t deny, specially tonight.

He knew he had no right to be jealous right now, but seeing you walk away with Hyunjin made his blood boil. He carefully followed you guys to a cafe. He sat far enough for you guys not to notice him but close enough to see the way you would laugh at his jokes, how you would often touch him here and there and the glances he would give your chest while you laughed.

Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was the jealousy that ran through his body, but the moment you excused yourself to the bathroom he found himself walking towards Hyunjin.

He was sketching something on a napkin when Minho grabbed his shoulder giving it a squeeze “Took you long enough” He said nonchalantly as he kept drawing, not bothering to turn around to see Minho “You and your pretty mouth, you swear you are better than everyone” He groaned gaining a laugh from Hyunjin “I don’t think I’m better than everyone” he paused to look at Minho “I just think Im better than you” His smirk was Minho’s last stroke, he lifted his fist ready to punch him when Hyunjin catch it “I gave you time to not mess it up, but you are Lee Minho” His face didn’t have an expression at all, Minho couldn’t understand how he was so well collected while he threw poison at his face.

“I always knew about your little crush on her. I sacrificed my feelings for you, cause I’m a teacher and I need to keep things professional. However, I’m not gonna let you hurt her. I know how hard it was for her to be the person she is now, I’m not letting you ruin that” He started to squeeze his fist and aggressively moved it out of his face. Minho stood there dumbfounded at Hyunjin’s confession.

Minho and Hyunjin had a complex background story, they both met at summer dancing camp. Although both had so much in similar they never clicked, often turning everything into a competition. When he went to college and found out he was one of the architecture teachers he felt sick to his stomach. Hyunjin and him had a gap of 3 years, how come he already be a teacher when he was just starting a carrier. This only made Minho more jealous.

His thoughts were interrupted when Hyunjin spoke again “She is coming, you have the option to leave or face the reality” He smirked once again as he saw the troublesome look in his face, however what he didn’t expect was a tear to run down his cheek “Please take care of her” He said in defeat, a faint smile painted on his face.

Now this was something Hyunjin never expected from Minho, he knew him as the guy who would fight against him till the last breath, seeing him this vulnerable broke something inside him. “Sorry I took so long” You said as you sat down on your seat.

“Minho you idiot” he cursed to himself, so low you couldn’t hear it, at least you didn’t catch on it. He closed his eyes and sighed in frustration.

You were confused as to why you were walking towards the field with Hyunjin, he said he had something to show you, however, there was nothing to see when you were there. He grabbed your hand and placed it in his chest “I know I’m your teacher and this is wrong even though we both adults” He spat as he stared deeply into your eyes “But please concede me one kiss” He looked at you almost begging.

You look down at his lips, you would lie if you said it wasn’t tempting to steal a kiss from them… however it felt wrong and not because he was your teacher but because of Minho. You couldn’t believe yourself after all he did to you, but something deep inside you still believed in him.

While you seemed to be caught in thoughts, Hyunjin spotted Minho behind you staring at the two of you, no expression in his face, however his eyes were dark and his hands were pressed against each other.

Hyunjin smirked and got closer to you, Minho doing the same, Hyunjin knew what he was doing, his plan was to provoke him. Fight for you.

He wrapped a hand around your waist making you gasp in surprise “Hyunjin” you said softly “Shhh just play along” He whispered against your ear, you couldn’t tell why he was doing this until he spoke again “He is watching” You immediately understood what he was doing, you smiled at him “I will” Hyunjin was left dumbfounded at your words “I will kiss you” You finished, he looked at your eyes in panic “Y/n you don-“ His words were interrupted as you planted a kiss in his lips, they were just as soft as Minho’s but maybe a little bigger, however, the sensation didn’t even compared to Minho’s.

A hand grabbed your arm and snatched you out of his grip. “Minho” You said as you panted. “So you decided to fight” Hyunjin smiled proudly “Go ahead and don’t mess it up” He said nonchalantly as he walked away, leaving you alone in Minho’s arms.

It was a chilly night, the breeze hovering over your bodies. Both of you stood there without saying a single word to each other. His body was tense just as yours was. Should you be the first one to talk, tears starting to form in your eyes. He could hear you sniffing so he turned you around to face him.

He had an angry expression in his face which pissed you off but also made you feel guilty “I know I have no right to be jealous or mad right now” He finally spoke looking into your eyes “But I would be lying if I said im not mad or jealous right now” He got closer to you “Y/n… the picture they sent you last night was a set up…” He began to explain “I was doing the project when she came, she tricked me, I was trying to pull away but Jesus Christ she has a strong grip” You lowly chuckled at the playful tone on his last phrase “However today… I did kiss that girl willingly” Your heart once again dropping to your stomach “I was drunk, which is no excuse I know, but I was trying to forget everything. I was trying to forget the fact that I had lost you because of the plan Vanessa set up” He paused, his heart broking as he saw your eyes full of tears, your head staring down at the grass “I was on my 15th shot of the night, when the girl approached me… her scent reminded me of yours. Levanter and Vanilla” He whispered “One thing led to another… Im sorry” He started to cry “I’m so stupid… Im sorry” He kneeled in front of you crying.

You didn’t knew what to exactly do in that moment, forgive him? Comfort him? Leave him there? Screamed at him? You wanted to do all of those options but you didn’t have the heart to do any of those.

“L-let’s go to my apartment” Although you felt you were going to regret it, it was the only thing that crossed your head “Don’t think anything about it, Im just getting chilly” You extended your hand to grabbed his.

The walk to the apartment was silent from somehow comforting, you opened the door and led him inside. He sat on your couch while you brought a bottle of vodka. “You trying to poison me?” He said playfully trying to lift up the mood, however you weren’t feeling it “If we are going to talk I need to take few shots first”

———

You don’t know how you ended up in this situation “Teasing me with this little dress” He slid a hand up your dress and played with the band of your panties “You knew what you were doing every time you bend and moved sensually whenever I was near” He whispered in your ear, gently nibbling it. “Minho” You called out his name softly, his lips interrupting yours with a kiss. It was hungry and lustful, wet noises from the kiss hovering all over the room. Last thing you remembered was shoving down a shot of vodka before kissing him and now you were here.

He was on top of you in your bed, your hands pinned down as he kissed your body up an down. The faint light of your fairy lights being the only source of light in the room. His knee was firm against your pussy, your dress rolled up with all the movement. “You look so pretty” He almost moaned at the sight. Your messy hair, your legs exposed, your white panty on full display, and the way your dress struggled to cover your tits. Minho was drunk in you, he wanted to drink you dry. “We have made a lot of mistakes tonight…” he said in between kisses “Please lets make one that we won’t regret” moved to kiss your neck, softly biting it leaving faint marks in it “Fuck” you gasped in delight “Minho do whatever you want, any mistake I do with you ends up being the best” You could feel his smirk growing against your neck.

Next thing you felt was his nose pressed against your clothed clit, you moaned gripping his hair, he laughed “Patience princess, I want to take my time with you” He kissed your inner thighs up and down, kissing everywhere around but where you wanted him the most.

You felt shameless as you lifted your hips trying to find some type of friction. He just giggled before taking off your panties painfully slow. The cold breeze blew against your pussy making you whimper “Fuck I love it when you whimper” He placed his face closer to your pussy and blew gently on it, mesmerized by the way he impacted your body.

The feeling was mutual though, you could see the way his pants tighten the more he got aroused. Once his tongue was playing with your clit you lost it. It felt like you were on the clouds, his tongue was soft a warm, the slurping noises making you even more aroused. He grabbed your free hand and intertwined it with yours. His thumb caressing your hand as a gesture of comfort. You loved this man so much he didn’t understand.

With his other hand he slowly started stretching you out, one finger, two fingers, three… you gasped, body lifting up as he added a fourth finger. He kissed your cunt and your inner thighs trying to soothe you. “You got this princess” He slowly started to pump in and out of you, being as careful as he could, not wanting to hurt you in any way.

You threw your head back as you could feel your high approaching, moans getting louder and louder by the second. Minho closed his eyes and hummed in delight, his mouth attaching once again to your clit, listening to your pretty moans like it was his favorite song “Min-Minho” You breath hitched as you couldn’t hold back anymore “Go ahead Princess, show me how well I treat you” You came all over his finger and face, your face crimson red as you rode out of your high, embarrassment showering you over.

You could hear his soft chuckle as he kissed you, his tongue dancing with yours. You could savior yourself through his tongue. He sat you down as he glare at you, eyes dark in lust. A whimpered left your lips as he sucked the same fingers that were inside you, sucking them dry in front of you not breaking eye contact. “Fuck you taste so sweet” He was driving you insane. You moved towards him, taking what was left of you dress, your boobs falling free. You could see him salivate over them as he stared at them shamelessly.

“You have no idea how many times I have pictured you naked” He said groping your boob, his finger flickering your nipple. You couldn’t hold it anymore, your hand traveling to his belt, taking it out in a split of a second. Your hand unzipping his jeans as he helps you get rid of them.

You could see his dick through his boxers, a stain of pre cum visible at the tip, you leaned to his stomach and planted few kisses. His whimpers were a melody to your brain.

Removing his boxers, his dick sprung free, you leaned down to give the tip few kitten licks, teasing his slit while applying pressure to it. He groaned as he tightly tugged your hair. A moan escaping your mouth sending vibrations down his dick.

“Fuck… Princess… I don’t think I can resist if you continue” His voice was unstable as he tried to form words inside his head “Please let me fuck you” You raised your face to look at him, smiling as you kiss him wrapping your hands around his neck “I should be the one begging you” You tease, gaining a scoff from him.

He stood up to pick up his pants in search of a condom “Fuck” he closed his eyes, he gave the one he had to a friend who needed it at the party, he turned around to you disappointed “It will be another night Princess… I don’t have one on me right now” His voice was soft and filled with disappointment.

“Fuck me raw” He turned to face you, looking at your innocent face like you hadn’t just spilled one of the most lustful thing. You bat your lashes at him as you sat down like an obedient puppy in front of him. You tilted your head “If you want ofc, I’m under birth control” The way his cock throbbed at your words drove him crazy.

In a split of a second he was on top of you again, his mouth playing with your nipples as he teased the tip of his dick in your folds, he rub small circles around your clit with his tip, drops of pre cum falling down your folds. “Minho please just fuck me” You cried “I always forget you are impatient Princess” He chuckled, sending vibrations down your stomach. The pool of butterflies you were feeling at that moment. You were willing to forget everything that has happened in the past just to have him next to you every day.

He slowly started stretching your cunt with his tip, you groaned in pain, the fingers definitely did not prepared you well to take him in.

Once he was fully in he waited for your sign to keep going. A soft whimper leaving your mouth as you gave him the green light. He started slowly pumping in and out of you carefully.

As he started to feel pleasure as well he couldn’t help but fasten his pace, your eyes fully cloth as you moaned his name “Bet Hyunjin wouldn’t make you feel like this” You don’t where this is coming from but you like the way he talked dirty “Neither any other bitch could take my cock the way your cunt does” He placed his face in the crook of your neck panting. Shivers rolling down your spine “Fuck. The way your cunt squeezes my cock” He threw his head back in pleasure “Let me fuck you like you’re mine” He reposition himself, a hand next to your head while with the other he applied slight pressure on your neck.

He stopped thrusting you, gaining a moan of complain “Princess if you want me to continue I need you to look at me while I fuck you” You could feel your cheeks burn in embarrassment, although you were desperate. You nodded at his command and he continue with his task. His fast pace, the pressure on your neck and his dark eyes piercing yours, it was all too overwhelmed to handle, tears falling down your eyes as you moan.

Seeing you in this state made Minho crazy, you were like this because of him. His cock starting throbbing inside you as you started to uncontrollably squeeze him “Fuck Princess” He moved his hand from your neck “Min” You gasped for air “Im close” You cried out as you grabbed his hair and pulled him for a kiss. “Lets cum together then” he whispered in your ear, he moved his hand to your clit and started rubbing circles in it, while his pace started to move faster. You moaned in his ear as he felt your cum washing over his cock and spilling down your bed sheets. You knee he was close when his thrust became sloppy and he started to slow down, he was about to pull out to cum im your chest when you stopped him “Please breed me” You begged in his ear, he came almost automatically, his seed spreading in your inside “I hope your birth control doesn’t work” He said as he rode out of his high, his cock softening inside of you.

He wrapped you in a warm hug “I’m going to clean everything and then leave, you need space to think” You were disappointed at his words, although you did needed to think things over, you didn’t want to think now. You grabbed his arm “Please stay tonight…” you say softly afraid to be rejected “You can leave in the morning, but please don’t leave when Im sleeping” You mumbled as you cuddled on his chest. He chuckled softly while he played with your hair “If you say so… If it was up to me, I wouldn’t leave your side eve again” With that both of you closed your eyes and drifted to a peaceful sleep.

———

A month passed and you and Minho were keeping things as friends. After all the drama that happened both of you agreed to be friends again before trying things out again. Although it was hard to keep things friendly when you had a bunch of friends who would constantly tease you. At parties they would put both of you in situations were you had to kiss each other for a dare or go in a small closet for 7 minutes. Childish games that you never thought you would be playing in college. Everything seemed to be good, Minho got a restraining order for Vanessa, she had no other choice but to transfer colleges. The pissed off face she had the day you said bye to her was definitely the highlight of the year. Although her friends apologized to you, you didn’t want to know anything about them so you agree with them to forget about each others existence.

As to Hyunjin, he started dating Rosé, it was the biggest plot twist of you life “The moment I saw him at the party I was on my knees” She squealed as she hugged a pillow “And he is a teacher…” You widen your eyes <It can’t be…> You thought as you waited for her to spill the name “Mr Hwang Hyunjin” She moaned taking you by surprise “SO HOT” She pretended to faint dramatically in your bed, making you die of laughter. Gosh you loved that woman so much.

Life was good although it felt incomplete, yeah Minho was your friend but you wanted him to be more than that, however, you didn’t want to rush things so you decided to give it time. Wait for the perfect timing to come.

———

“Nice game Lee Minho” You tease as you hug him “Thank you thank you miss y/n” He chuckled “I scored all my goals in your name, so we can say this was a two person job” You laugh at his words “How considerate of you” You faked an awe face and laughed. It was the end of the autumn sports season, Minho and his team won states and everyone was celebrating “Shouldn’t you be there celebrating? you were the mvp” You raised an eyebrow looking at him “Nah… I rather stay here and watch the sunset with you” You looked at him in admiration, even though he was all sweaty and messy you couldn’t help but find him hot “I love this field” You say out of nowhere. He turned to face you, intrigued by your words.

“Most of our adventures occurred here” You laugh at your cheesy words cringing at yourself, however, to Minho your words got to him, his eyes fixated on your smile as you stare vaguely at the sunset.

His lips soft against yours, his hand on your waist while the other is in your hair “Min-” you said surprised as you broke the kiss “Is it too soon if I ask you if I can be your boyfriend” Butterflies rushed to your stomach at his words, your cheeks matching the pink tone on his.

You kissed him and smiled through the kiss, breaking the kiss once again to stare into his brown eyes “I hope that answers your question” You both smile and stay there in silence appreciating each others company while the sun slowly disappeared through the landscape of the field.

——————————————————————

Authors Note: Let me know if you guys find any typos, I didn’t spell check most of the fic and I wrote most of it at 2am, Also suggestions are appreciated 🙏

Hope you guys enjoyed~

[burn-before-reading]

Love in the Time of Socialism

joost klein x artist!reader

art, mush, and ramblings about life

warnings: depression (ish), burnout, reader character in some vague mental health funk

word count: 2k

a/n: slight prequel to blue is the colour of your eyes but can be read as stand alone. just same artist reader. vaguely romantic but just ramblings and getting feelings out haha. started this when I was in more of a bad mental state (lol) but im fine now so it got kinda tame by the end of it. still not proofreading anything

title from the song Love in the Time of Socialism by Yellow House

Rpf below the cut—

Normally Joost has to call you because its the only way you will actually look at your phone. Its more often that not you find yourself fixated on planning out your next project, and your friends have to force you back into reality. There was that one time no one had heard from you in over a week and thought you were dead, when you were just working. You hadn’t realized how many texts you missed and apologized for scaring your friends half to death. Especially Joost.

So now you leave your ringer on, and now they call.

Tonight, however, Joost calls and you aren’t in your studio. You are in your bed, where you have been for the entire day. and also most of yesterday. There isn’t a reason in your head specifically why this has happened. you MEANT to get up. Theres a list of chores and things to do just sitting on your desk, but you woke up late, so now nothing will get done. At some point it just became too stressful to even get up and look at it. You roll over and stare at the contact picture of him, smiling with some dumb fish eye lens he thought was funny. You debate not picking up at all.

But you can’t ignore him.

“Hi Joost.” your voice came through the phone more hoarse than intended when you answered, you don’t remember the last time you talked to someone. “Whats going on?”

“the others wanted to go out for drinks tonight, you hadn’t responded so I wanted to check you were joining us.” You could imagine him rocking back and forth on his heels in the middle of his living room while he talked, it was either that or pacing around.

“uhh..” Drinks at a bar was the last thing on your mind. In any other situation you would have loved to be around your friends, but right now you just needed to avoided as much as possible. “Not a good night, tonight. Sorry, I’ll have to join you guys next time.”

Joost felt like something was off, you sounded tired. “Is everything okay?”

“I’ll be fine I just… shit brain day. bad brain thats all. It happens.” You did your best to summarize how you felt without actually admitting anything, you weren’t sure how to explain anything anyway.

“ Oh Im sorry, would it be good, if I came over? I can keep you company, if thats okay?”

“you don’t have to, I’ll be fine tomorrow. I want you to have fun. ” you insisted, but he pressed on.

“I don’t mind, the group would understand. Have you eaten today?”

“Like… a meal? yes, or well, no. I had a soda..” You glance at the half drunk soda from the night before, now flat. “and uhhh..”

“I’ll pick something up.” You could hear him on the other end gathering things together, keys, wallet, probably his ipad.

“.. thank you. I’ll see you in a bit, I guess.”

-

Joost knocked on your door about an hour later. In that time you were able to get out of bed and make your way to the bathroom to change and make yourself somewhat presentable in front of a guest, and to the kitchen to make coffee despite it being 8pm.

You opened it to see Joost with a sheepish smile as he extends his arms out for a hug. “Hi.”

“Hi Joost.” you take the step to hug him, feeling his body heat contrast with the cold nighttime. “I’m glad you’re here.” the two of you head inside to your living room where he empties his bag of take out to reveal a couple different thai dishes and egg rolls. It was hard to not admit you weren’t at least a little bit hungry.

The two of you ate in mostly silence, making small talk about different projects you two have going on, or the fact that the two of you were in between projects. He done with touring for the time being and in the process of working on a new album. You loosely avoiding talking about any current work plans but mentioned one or two paintings you finished for a private gallery commission last month.

“ Just some paintings of animals and nature-ish symbolism. Honestly my heart wasn’t really in that one, but it payed the rent so.” you shrug and shove noodles into your mouth.

“Well now you have the time to work on your own stuff, right?” he commented, leaning back into your couch and looking down at you sitting on the floor instead of any of your own furniture. “Draw whatever your heart desires.”

“I mean I guess.. Im just glad to be done with the oil paints for now. I swear i think I was gonna die in my studio from all the chemicals. I dunno, I finished that whole project last month, I haven’t really been very productive since then.” you trail off and Joost gets a concerned expression on his face.

He sinks down from his spot of the couch to join you in the floor. The fluffy rug brushing against his legs as he adjusts his new sitting position.

“Its okay to take a break, you know.”

“I know I know, I just get frustrated. I never seem to have my energy directed towards the right thing. Whenever I have all those big projects from other contractors, I can brainstorm and think of all these interesting ideas I wanna work on, but I can’t because then I would get behind on the art Im being paid to do.”

“mhm.” he nods, to indicate he’s following along.

“ And then whenever Im done with those projects, I just get… tired. and my focus is gone. and Everything just feels…” you gesture the last bit with your hands, scrambling your fingers, to imply your thoughts. You aren’t looking at him, but you can still see him nodding in your peripherals. Joost always seemed to understand your thinking and explanations to things, even if you thought they were messy.

“Do you want to try painting right now?” he asks. you just shrug your shoulders.

“I don’t know what I would paint.”

“You can paint our dinner, or, or yourself, or your plants maybe?” he suggested and stands up. “Can I paint too?”

“Oh we’re actually doing this?” Not that you didn’t want to, but this self doubt had creeped into your mind again. That failing to produce something decent would prove that you’ve lost all your talent, your skill.

“yea we can have a little painting party!” he chimed, but he hesitated walking over to your studio to grab stuff, still giving you the space to reject his idea.

you looked away and started nervously tapping your fork against the table.

tap tap tap tap

“…sure. We can use my watercolors, Ive been wanting to use them more often anyway.”

the coffee table became a little more cluttered as you set up the paints for the two of you. Joost using an old set 24 pans and you using a newer set of watercolor tubes you were gifted last year and never opened. You watched as Joost immediately dipped his brush in water and started activating the blue paints, spreading it onto his paper in big random strokes.

“what are you painting?”

“not sure yet, maybe im painting you.” he looks up and smirks. you scrunch your nose up.

“why are you using so much blue. am I a smurf?” you joke and he just shrugs and points to your own paper.

“Just mess around, can’t be any worse than what im doing.”

tap tap tap tap tap tap

you fidget with your own brush for a few seconds lo get before grabbing a big mop brush and wetting your paper with clean water. Taking your smaller brush again, you pour out a small amount of yellow and mix it up with some more water. You hesitate for a moment longer before letting the brush lightly touch the surface, creating a burst of colour on the paper as the colour seeps onto the page. You make a few more random marks before switching to another warm colour and repeating the process, now watching the colours bleeds and mix into each other. You look at Joost paper and see that he is actually now trying to paint you, the blue fortunately was able to be mostly contained to the background.

“Do you ever think about what you would do if you weren’t a musician?” you ask.

“I dunno I think after this I could have a pretty successful art career.” he teases but sees in your face the question is more serious. “I don’t know. I started off with youtube, but if I wasn’t doing that… its hard to think about what my life would be like if I didn’t follow this path.”

“I always have this feeling deep down, that I made a wrong choice somewhere along the line. I was thinking about going to school for psychology, I also wanted to work with animals at one point, be a vet. I enjoy art, don’t get me wrong, but I just worry that in making it my job Ive just drained all the passion I had for it.”

You let the paper dry before staining the page with lines of dark burgundy, creating hands and a human heart. he hums as he listens, not adding anything, but simply letting you vent. beginning to piece together your mood from earlier. “I don’t have any jobs lined up right now, which is what Ive been waiting for, to work on my own stuff, yknow? I haven’t had the time ive wanted to make something for myself for a while. But now I just feel, I feel like ive been frozen.”

“things seem to be okay right now. I like what youve made. ” you look down and see the scribbles youve made with your paint. hands clasped over a broken heart. you shrug and smile softly, signing the bottom.

“Just a scribble, you can have it if you want.” You hand the paper over to him. “thank you for coming by, its… its nice being around you. Helps a bit.”

Joost takes the paper and studies it for a second. “I really like it, maybe I should come by more often.”

“If you bring the food we can have art nights whenever you want.” he holds up his paper. The blue bleeding into your skintone and hair since he didn’t wait for anything to properly dry. “I might stick to my ipad though, I don’t know why you like this paint.” he scrunches his nose at it. you laugh and it makes him smile.

You notice for the first time how bright his eyes look when he smiles, but you brush the thought away.

-

“Feeling a bit better?” he asks as he lingers by the door on his way out.

“a bit. like I said It was just a mood, I was gonna be fine tomorrow most likely… I still appreciate you coming over.”

“Don’t ever be afraid to call or text okay? Im always here to talk if you need. or just to listen.”

“definitely. Ive been meaning to uh, talk to someone about all this stuff anyway, you’re not a professional but ill keep it in mind.”

he grins and goes in for one last hug. you feel him slightly squeeze you and linger a little longer than usual before letting go. With one last glance he waves and head off. You see him pull out a cigarette for the walk back. It takes you a second to close the door. standing there watching him walk off until he turns a corner and disappears. Closing the door you sigh and go the clean up your living room.

You notice he left the portrait he drew of you. signed at the bottom with a smiley face next to his name.

It gets hung up in your studio above your desk.

[comet-forgot-you]

vampire!amber x vampire!reader

maybe a dinner party for two vampire families who are preparing for a peace treaty between themselves, amber and reader hate each other more than anyone else, so they have a fight in a secluded place until it escalates to something bigger. mess, chaos, etc or some similar dynamic, hot bloody

love your posts -🖤anon

change

warnings: smut. 18+ pls. biting, vampires, blood, amber gets off on r’s belt buckle, scissoring (?), oral, overstimulation, begging, choking but in a violent way not a kinky way. i think thats all

summary: the request basically

a/n: never written scissoring before crazy but idk yall

do not repost for any reason.

you could hear the voices of your parents just down the hallway. it had been hours since they had began working out a treaty, you and amber seemed to be a reoccurring topic between your families.

it was understandable though, the two of you had formed a sort of rivalry for one another. you werent sure when it had begun, your hatred for one another carrying on for decades. amber was rude towards you, shes been that way for a long time, but it seemed like that anger she held for you dissipated the moment her attention shifted from you to another person. it always confused you, but it made you cocky at times, you always seemed to be the only one that could make amber lose her temper.

you had managed to slip away from the conversation a few minutes ago, the drawn out discussion boring you to no end. the darkness of the hallway consumed you, only a slight difference from the dimly lit room you were previously in.

you could still feel amber’s hateful glare on you, only seeming to increase as you walked the familiar path to your bedroom. “its rude to stare,” you mutter out as you open your door.

“im not staring,” amber scoffs out, following you into your room.

“mhm, whatever you tell yourself, princess.” you peel your jacket off of your shoulders, placing it on the back of your chair.

“dont call me that.” her voice is stern.

“or what?” you ask, sitting on the edge of your bed. she doesnt answer, leaning against your desk. “why’d you follow me? didnt get to stare enough at the table? or did you just miss me?” a cocky smile paints your lips as amber rolls her eyes, crossing her arms.

“you need to get over whatever you have against me, like now. you’re the reason they’re having difficulty finding a steady ground in the treaty.” you scoff, tearing your gaze away from her.

“me?” youre surprised with her accusation. amber had always been the one to stir things up between the two of you, always sending hateful remarks your way. “sorry, i think you’re a little confused. you’re the one that need to let go of whatever it is you have against me.”

amber scoffs, her hands moving to grip the edge of the desk. “really? you always start arguments with me. you’re the one that started all of this.”

“how?”

“tara.” your eyebrows furrowed at the mention of her old best friend’s name, not knowing what it was she was getting at.

“what about her?” amber rolls her eyes pushing herself off of the desk towards you.

“you seriously dont remember?” shes in front of you now, finger pointed into your chest. “you were the one that took her away from me all that time ago.” you were even more confused now, what the hell is she talking about.

“i don’t know what you’re talking about.” amber rolls her eyes, letting out a strained laugh.

“you’re unbelievable, y/n,” she mumbles, shaking her head. she leans in closer to you, her forehead almost touching your own. “you’re fucking disgusting.” your eyes flicker down to her lips out of habit, and you’re drawn to press your own against them.

“am i? is that why you’re so obsessed with me?” amber pulls back slightly, and in an instant, her hand is wrapped around your throat.

“i fucking hate you,” she almost yells it, her fingers digging into the flesh of your neck. where the fuck did this come from? you grab her wrist tightly, trying your best to pull her away from you.

“what the hell?” your voice is hoarse with how tightly her grip on your neck is. she forces you up, bringing you impossibly closer to her. “let go,” you start to feel lightheaded, you’re certain finger shaped bruises will paint the skin on your neck for a few hours.

“apologize.” you don’t know what it is she wants you to apologize for. you shake your head as best you can.

“i didn’t do anything,” you force out. ambers eyes search your own and a few moments pass before she lets go of your neck, quick you replace her strong grip with her piercing fangs. “fuck!” you try to yell out, but it comes out cracked, almost muted. you can feel her sucking your blood, you can feel it drip down your neck to stain the white button up you wore.

its not long before the aphrodisiacs hit you, a quiet whimper leaving your mouth. “amber, what the hell are you doing?” she doesn’t answer, pulling away from her previous bite to bite you again on the other side of your neck. her fingers try to unbutton your shirt, but she fails, deciding to rip it off of you instead.

heat courses through your body. fuck this was hot. and unexpected, completely unexpected. “i want you,” she whispers in your ear when she finally unlatches herself from your neck. it sends a shiver down your spine. “can i have you?” fuck.

sure you weren’t expecting this, but you’ve always wanted it. you’ve always wanted amber, always craved her touch despite your shared hatred for one another. “yes,” you mumble out. amber grins, licking up all of the blood that pulses out of you.

in a blink of an eye, your back meets your bed and amber is on top of you, her thighs on either side of you. her lips meet yours for the first time, her cold fingers trailing across your cold body until they reach your bra. she doesnt even bother taking it off, pushing her fingers underneath it to tweak your nipples. you let out a moan against her lips before biting down on them, drawing blood from her. you smile softly as she hisses at the sting, your own aphrodisiac laced venom finding its way into her system as her blood coated your lips.

a loud whine leaves her lips as she grinds down against your belt buckle, your venom slowly starting to pulse through her system. your fingers are slow to unbutton her blouse, a stark difference from the way she had removed yours. the second you reach the last button, you’re pushing it off of her shoulder and tossing it to some corner of your room. amber continues grinding down against your belt buckle, chasing an orgasm from it alone.

“really, amber? gonna get off on my belt? you want me to wear it around with your cum all over it? make sure everyone knows im yours?” she lets out a stupid whine, nodding desperately. “such a fucking whore,” you mumble out as if you werent the one that would proudly wear it every day, knowing that everyone around you would be able to smell amber’s arousal on you.

“shut up,” she whimpers out. your fingers tug at amber’s nipples, eliciting a loud moan from the girl. “fuck!” she hisses, her hips gaining speed against your buckle.

“doing so good, princess,” you mumble out, pulling her closer until you’re able to bring a nipple into your mouth. amber whines out at the stimulation. you know shes close, you can feel it, you can smell it. not to mention the noises she makes as her clit hits your buckle just the right way. “gonna cum already?” you know its your venom thats making her all the more sensitive, but teasing her just felt so natural.

“yes,” she stutters out, trying her best to keep her body up right. you smiled, pushing her to sit up fully, her hips still grinding desperately against your belt. you lift her skirt up, the sight of her cunt covered in pretty lace panties nearly has you cumming in your pants.

“look at you, all dressed up. did you come here tonight hoping i’d fuck you?” amber doesn’t react. you tear your eyes away from her pretty cunt to her face, a blush creeping onto her cheeks. “holy fuck, you did, didn’t you?” amber lets her head fall slightly, taking her bottom lip in between her teeth.

“yes,” she mutters out weakly. heat washed over your body and you cant fight the cocky smile that makes its way onto your face.

“what a slut,” you tease, your hands finding her hips under her skirt to guide her against your buckle.

its not long before amber’s orgasm washes over her, a loud moan falling from her lips. she holds herself up on your stomach, the smell of her arousal filling your senses. fuck she smelt so good. you wondered if she tasted as good as she smelt.

you flip the two of you around, amber’s back pressed against your bed and you between her thighs. you tug her skirt down her legs, her lacy underwear following soon after, leaving her cunt exposed to the air of your room. you spit on her pulsing clit, her hips bucking up to meet nothing.

“please, i cant-“

“yes you can. you can take another one amber, cant you?” she hesitates for a moment before nodding. you smile, unbuckling your belt and creating makeshift restraints for amber’s hands. you tug your pants and underwear off, leaving you both exposed. you place one leg over her thigh, bringing her other leg up for a better angle.

“fuck,” she whines out the second your cunt meets her own. your rut against her, your clits rubbing against one another. you cant help your own moans, your room filling with the sounds of both of you. amber’s restrained hands move down to grab onto your free hand pressed against her abdomen. “feels so good,” she mumbles.

your slickness mixes with her own, the filthy sound of your cunts mashing together sent waves of heat throughout your body. you press a kiss to amber’s calf, your pace on her cunt picking up slightly. amber lets out a loud moan when your fangs sink into her calf, dribbles of blood escaping your mouth. more of your venom makes its way into her system, both your senses heightening even more.

“pleasepleaseplease,” she whines out. you’re close, shes close. you don’t know how much longer you can last, her cunt feels so good against your own. you unlatch from her calf, droplets of blood falling onto your skin.

“gonna cum again, princess?” amber nods, her breathing labored.

“yes, please. wanna cum with you,” shes so fucking cute. you groan quietly, you were absolutely sure you wouldnt last another five minutes.

and you were right.

“cum with me, please. im gonna cum,” amber whimpers out. you nod, grinding down against her once more. your orgasm washes through you, amber’s loud moans signaling that hers was too. your cunt was so sensitive, and you knew hers was too, but you werent done. you needed more from her. you needed to taste her arousal now. you climb off of her in an instant, your orgasm still pulsing through you. your tongue meets her cunt and amber lets out a desperate moan.

“please, i cant. please, just, 5 minutes, please,” she begs, but it falls deaf on your ears, too consumed in her taste to hear her pleads.

“fuck amber,” you moan into her cunt, the vibrations forcing out loud moans from amber. “you taste so fucking good.” you were in heaven. amber’s arousal mixed with your own would be the death of you.

you circled her entrance with your tongue, lapping up everything that leaked out of her. amber’s restrained hands find your head, fingers lacing in your hair. she doesnt know whether or not she should pull you in or push you away, the stimulation you provide her being too much and not enough at the same time.

you lap at her cunt as if you would never taste her again before burying your tongue into her entrance. amber’s hips buck up, her clit nudging your nose softly, eliciting another moan from the girl. “its too much,” she whines, deciding to push your head away. you pull her closer to you.

“take it, princess.” your voice is stern, sending a wave of heat through the girl. you push her hands off of your head, holding them against her stomach. “keep em here like a good girl, kay?” she nods slowly, her hips bucking against your chin. you smile before going back to your ministrations against her pretty cunt.

you fuck her with your tongue, leaving her clit neglected as you do so. amber’s thighs squeeze your head as she tries to bring her clit any sort of stimulation. amber’s thighs against your head have your feeling lightheaded again, but you don’t mind, not this time. you were far too focused on amber’s pleasure to care at all about how lightheaded you were.

“yesyesyes,” amber mumbles out like a prayer, desperate moans leaving her lips. “gonna,” a loud moan leaves her lips, her orgasm crashing over her. you smile, lapping up every drop she has to offer.

minute’s pass, you lapping at her cunt gently as shockwaves of amber’s orgasm wash through her, before her thighs let loose around your head. you trail kisses up her body, thumb rubbing gentle circles against her hip. “did so good, amber,” you whisper when your lips meet her own. she smiles against you, your fingers working the restraints off of her wrists.

the second her hands are free, she’s tangling them in your hair, your hearts pounding in sync with one another. “why did you change tara?” you pull away, eyebrows furrowing.

“what?”

“i know you changed tara,” amber mumbled, eyes half lidded.

“no i didn’t.” amber’s eyebrows furrow this time.

“you didn’t?”

“i didn’t, we never talked unless she was with you.” confusion filled you both. “why do you think i turned her?”

“she smelt like you when she showed up at my door, i just thought you had changed her.”

“ive only changed one person and it was definitely not tara.” you’re sitting up at this point, looking down at her.

“who the fuck changed her then?”

[guttednights]

Need more daddy issues fluff scenario🥹

I AGREE!!!! What better thought than, nice (sometimes mean) Simon caring for their girlfriend who is much smaller than them and loves the way he spoils his little crybaby :).

𝐻𝒾𝓈 𝒸𝓇𝓎𝒷𝒶𝒷𝓎

warnings: (size kink , daddy issues, slightly mean simon) other then that sweet simon fluff :)

All thought most people would make fun of you for the way you get sad over "silly things" you know your husband Simon doesn't. As a matter of fact, he loves when you cry over little things. like when he doesn't know that u need a hug right in that very moment as you sitting on the couch watching TV, and instead of asking you start crying cause it really hurt your feelings :(. Of course, he snuggled you immediately until u felt better and then, carried you to bed that night. All though you are his crybaby sometimes you upset him :(. Like that one time when he was trying to catch up on some paperwork for back at base, when you just wouldn't stop whining and crying that you miss him:( (all tho he's been home all week), and for some reason this was really simons last straw for that day. "I get it y/n!!" he said in a raised voice which immediately hurt your feelings and caused you to fall to the ground crying in your little hands. Of course, he felt bad the very second it happened and picked you up apologizing profusely. "m' sorry princess" "m' didn't mean it Lovie", he says while you sob into his shoulder getting his grey t-shirt all wet. Eventually, you accept his apology when he offers to watch your stupid little tv show he hates. Or that one time when you called him while you were at work sobbing, because one of your coworkers said they didn't like your cute pink shirt he bought:(. "hi love, What's wrong? Who hurt you?" of course when you explain what happened he immediately is on his way. "m' on my way lovie." "There just mean sweetheart, don't take it to heart." "m coming stay right where you are". he shows up in your works parking lot a lot faster than he should but you don't mind. Of course, you walk out to him hands covering your teary-eyed face, he picks you up and kisses your head. "awh lovie, it's okay m' here now" "Let's go get some ice cream yeah?" (abuses any chance he can get to spoil you) "and what about them new shoes you wanted?" "Stop by nd get those yeah?" At the end of the day, you really are just his crybaby.

writer thoughts: Im not sure if i like this, I kinda just used all the thoughts in my head into just one. idk I think its kinda fun "remembering" back on those times.

[ndoandou]

Ikevamp bois playing modern games part 2

Vincent

Vincent is way into.. gartic phone

Qnd perhaps skribble.io

Like way into it

He would sit down 12 hours in front of the computer and guess what HES BEEN PLAYING GARTIC PHONE AND SKRIBBLE.IO IN A LOBBY OF RANDOMS

12 HRS IN HES STILL NOT DONE WITH BOTH GAMES

Hed obv speedrun a drawing in a short period of time and manage to make it look *chefs kiss*

Imagine if skribble.io had a vc feature tho

No no, like imagine if people were actually toxic in this goofy ahh game

They would yell down vincent down the mic telling him to go play with photoshop

Randoms are salty that vincent can draw and portray even the most ridicilous prompts which results him with the highest score always

Not to mention hes really good at guessing even the shittiest drawimgs from other ppl

"Broer how- that persons drawing looks ridicilous, even arthur's dog could draw that"

"Don't be mean theo! I could guess the drawing from the emotional connection i felt from it"

Jean

Jean has a shitty brick nokia phone

And he really loves playing snake II

No im serious

Well i suppose momte doesnt trust him with any other phones than that

the last time he was given a smartphone he downloaded some hack and slash game

took the word slash literally and then proceeded to cut the phone into two

comte was too stunned to speak

momte didn’t want his kids to miss out on gadgets but he cant have jean destroying his smartphone

BINGO! a nokia 3310 it is! 

jean didnt know how to react at first, but he found it easier to navigate and thats when he found out baout snake II

found it a bit pointless at first but despite saying that, he doesnt realize that thats the only thing he does besids fencing

snake II is his pre workout

the only thing he will be doing before his fencing practice

before meals

and before bed

‘‘jean are you sure you haven’t had enough of snake II..?’‘ comte asked causiously as he never know how his son Jean would react

jean looked at comte and stayed silent for a hot minute

‘‘no’‘

Napoleon

OK FLASH BACK TO MY E BOY NAPOLEON FANART FROM 2021

its official

He plays league of legends

Napoleon is deffo a jungle/top main

Jungle preferabbly

Bros actually cracked coz hed turn any non meta champs into an absolute beast

I see him being especially good with pantheon jungle

Hed play league with jean tbh

And jean would be a dedicated top

But i dont see jean being the best player..

No, like imagine napoleon defending jean from "top troll" and getting spammed "?" On his lane

Napo would literally go to that persons lane just to steal their minion last hits

If hes feeling extra hed even use pantheons ult to yeet over to that player to ks all the minions on that person's lane 😭

"Jgl troll gg"

Ok napo is actually not toxic and is rly nice to play with

Hed even supp for you if ur learning a new champ

Hes only toxic to people who are toxic to his buddies

Comte

Ill be honest

Comte looks like someone who would download all games from every ad pop up he gets

And im talking about anything gacha related

He does not care whether the game is explicit or not as long as he can collect pretty characters

Is he interested in the gameplay??? Probably not.

"For what reason did you spend $$$$$$ on xxx game???" Leonardo asked as he scrolled through comte's in game billings, cocking an eyebrow

"Hm? Well i simply wanted to collect all of these lovely looking characters."

"Without leveling up your characters?"

"Non"

"Do you understand how to play this game?"

Comte only looked at him with his unwavering smile

"honestly this is the most ridicilous spending ive witness from you, heh" Leo snorted

"Much appreciated, but i dont recal asking for any input, old friend" comte retorted

Leo looked at him and sighed

"Honestly at this point i shouldn't be surprised"

.

.

This took me forever to upload because i coulndn't figure what type of game comte would play then one day i was like AHAAAAA

Also i didn't proof read as always so pls dont chop my head off :"))

[the-s1lly-corner]

Tim Wright fluff headcanons

-tim Wright obsessed 🙀 anon

Tim fluff headcannons!

WAHOO! finally going to try to get back into the swing of writing now that im no longer as sick (still fighting off the tail end of my horrid allergies, but otherwise im feeling good! hella tired though) might be a little all over the place//shorter than usual given that i have hardly written all week so my funky flow is all.... raaah! TToTT

i was going to say hes an early bird and sometimes he makes you breakfast, but honestly i can also see him sleeping in.. until the later hours of the morning/bordering on noon... also he doesnt look like a breakfast person. probably smokes and drinks a coffee in the mornings on the rare occasion he wakes up early... though perhaps he wakes up early on purpose to make you something on occasion? shrugs

looks like he can make a mean pancake tbh, cant explain why maybe its the admins envy seeping through because they struggle with pancakes/making pretty pancakes but-

enjoys quieter evenings with you. actually enjoys those calmer days in general. likes staying at home when he doesnt have work or other obligations, usually sitting on the couch letting himself just. relax and exist

i think he would be protective of you, even if this takes place post... everything.. hes lost so much and so much shit has happened and hes not about to have you add to that list. makes sure to check in on you and ask what you were up to while you were out, probably even lightly scolds/fusses over you if you somehow got hurt (from a simple scrape to anything broken).. probably keeps you in bed

but also... i can see him not totally babying you.. stern, but not overbearing if that makes sense?

sometimes melts into your hands if you cup his face, might give you a look if you mess around with his sideburns... doesnt pull away, though

sometimes lets you borrow his shirts, will not take any bs though if you decide to not return his possessions when he asks for them back (difference between you missing him/liking the piece and you not having any real intention to return his belongings)

isnt too terribly tall or short (for characters that are played by real people i tend to base their heights off the actor, looks like tim is roughly 5'7 according to google) so sharing clothes is a common enough occurrence if you're in his height range + dont have to worry about his clothes being extremely huge on you/hang off of you unless you're considerably shorter

... i do think he would offer to buy you matching clothes in your size if you want to match with him, though

i dont see tim being much of a ring guy... but if you guys want to have a matching thing to represent whatever (engagement, marriage, general matching for whatever, ect ect ect really any reason) then bracelets may be your go to ! though i can also see tim wearing a ring around his neck (with a chain, you know?) if you insist on keeping things in that vein more traditional (also admin just loves rings on chains)

[verycharismaticdragon]

...Would it be alright to ask how the sequel to "A Transmigrator and a Time Traveler Walk Into the Bamboo House" that you mentioned in the AN is doing? If not, please ignore this ask, thank you for all of your writings, and have a lovely day!! Otherwise- it's been half a year, and I was curious if you're still working on it, or if you've shifted fandoms/stopped for one of many other valid reasons? Have you had any favorite moments that you looked/are looking forward to sharing? Any sections that you're really pleased with how they turned out?

I love your story so much!! Ahh, I'm just *still* so excited to see how the relationships develop, now that the truth is on the table!! I keep wondering whether or not Binghe will find out about his Shizun's plans to revive himself - with the System dangling the promise/reward of accessing the memory data, Shen Qingqiu might find out about it! But, would he tell Binghe? Would he think it would reassure Binghe, or make him feel like absolute *scum* - Binghe suffering so much due to his death that he turned back *time*, when he wasn't *really* dead!

And! It's only been 3 years, not 5 it took, but - did the System simulate the old reality long enough that he would have awakened?? Would he get access to any simulated memories that occurred between Luo Binghe turning back time, and him giving the System go-ahead to stop running that old world? AAHHHHHHHHHHHH

And, will we get CucumberPlane friendship??? The Binghe-Airplane friendship was *amazing*, so could they be an actual, proper group of friends????

I just keep circling back to imagining how on *Earth* Shen Qingqiu will respond to the truth and all of these revelations, once he's gotten over the initial shock and the immediate need to comfort and reassure Binghe! Once he has a chance to *think*, what knots will this man tie himself into???

...Ah, I love your story and world so much!!! I'd still be incredibly happy and satisfied if just what you've written so far existed - thank you so much for the wonderful, wonderful story!!!!!!!! Please know that it continues to live in my head-rent free, and it likely will for a *long* time to come!!

Have a wonderful day!!

It's still a thing that's happening! Just not... soon lmao. I'm currently re-reading canon slowly and thoroughly, to both sharpen my SQQ voice and to ensure I'm not missing details!

(Yes I'm still in mourning about forgetting that bit from vol.3 about LBH physically pulling SQQ out of bed during disciple days, and unknowingly contradicting it.)

(Also I gotta put it out there that it took me almost 2 years to write Transmigrator Time Traveler. With a year-long break in the middle. So I'm just hoping to write the sequel a lil faster than that.)

As for the scenes, I'm having a lot of fun with the post-realization convo, wherein SQQ is trapped between 'well im straight so im gonna turn him down' and 'cant make binghe sad!!!' (and the undercurrent of not really wanting to turn binghe down. that he refuses to acknowledge.)

Some highlights:

“And if not after three years, then maybe after five, or ten, or twenty years,” Luo Binghe continued, with a hopeful lilt Shen Qingqiu didn’t know how to smack down without feeling like a heartless villain. “If not then, then maybe in a hundred years shizun will consider giving this disciple a chance…” And thus, before Shen Qingqiu could think up a proper reply, he was blasted in the face with this enormous number Luo Binghe seamlessly threw out.

and this (context is that lbh has wheedled a 'well i guess lots of things could happen in 100 years...' out of sqq, and is trying not to be too demanding)

“This disciple has no right to ask for anything else. If shizun…” Luo Binghe, seemingly not aware he was doing so, pulled a face, “if shizun wants to… other people……” Shen Qingqiu swallowed an undignified chortle that threatened to break free. Binghe somehow managed to look both like he was a puppy left out in the rain, and like he had bitten into a particularly sour lemon. Shen Qingqiu truly couldn’t help it; the urge to tease was just too much! “What,” Shen Qingqiu asked mildly, “you aren’t gonna promise to poke out the eyes of any men that dare to look at me? Not even hang any of my exes on the palace gates..?” Luo Binghe startled out of his expression, blinking confusedly before looking up at Shen Qingqiu. “Oh, right, no palace,” Shen Qingqiu ‘remembered’. “And no exes, for my part.” After a moment, Binghe huffed out something between a laugh and an exasperated sigh. “I could get a palace, if shizun wanted one,” he said casually, almost offhandedly, as if that would require about as much effort as picking up dinner from the specific restaurant that was just a little out of the way — sure, some effort, but definitely nothing too daunting. (Binghe really was so effortlessly cool! — Shen Qingqiu couldn’t help but note.) “And shizun wouldn’t be happy if I poked someone’s eyes out on his behalf.” If it was anyone else, Shen Qingqiu would take this as a joke: like, oh, that’s the only thing that’s preventing you? But… no matter how sweet his Binghe was… he was still very much the protagonist who conquered the Endless Abyss. “Mn, please don’t do that,” Shen Qingqiu said seriously.

(me, writing this: im like dropping hints that sqq is still fundamentally comfortable with binghe despite being shook by the realization that he was being romanced!)

The first outline for this scene btw was just:

Sqq: sorry we can't be in a romantic relationship Lbh, dramatically: OK but I want to be the most important person in your life >:T Sqq, relieved: oh why didn't you just say so, okay In their thoughts, both: I don't think he understands what 'romantic relationship' means...

---

As for other things:

SQQ will not be learning about the plant body thing for a while yet. I know where I would put it, but I'm as of yet unsure if I'm going to write that instalment. For the sequel, SQQ will not get his memories unlocked until very late into the plot. Watsonian explanation is that he will not have the time to watch like 6 years of memory-TV straight, and if he asks the System to show him something, he has to at least know it happened. Doylist explanation is that he will have enough problems for me to maintain tension level even without him being fucked up about putting Binghe through his fake death :) and so I'd rather save it for a moment where it could be a major tension point of its own.

The System did not simulate the other world for long enough for "SY" to come back there, and even if it did, it would be like. a chatgpt version of SY. Plus the way i described how system's saved memories work, it'd be more like how SQQ experienced SJ's memories in the dream realm, and not as if he had actually lived the events. (And honestly SY living through coming back to find Binghe gone would be too angsty for me. I like things balanced between hurty and comforty.) (But also every time I think about how this au could be used to set up a spare SY!SQQ and I've decided against it, I imagine this:

sorry binggy)

Lastly, the cucumberplane friendship is on the menu, and so is the 1 braincell trio know-the-future club shenanigans ;D

[batterygarden]

h. hi do u have any thoughts about levi / floch and if so may i hear them ^_^; .. relationship thoughts , perchance 🐺

YA <3 ..... sfw but no minors on my page pls

Levi

Levi is surprisingly an excellent baker…store bought desserts are often too sweet or artificial for his tastes so he just makes them himself and he’s really good at it! Baking for you easily becomes one of his love languages..

This can pose a slight problem when you sneak into the kitchen while he’s in the middle of his process and try to stick a finger in whatever batter/filling he’s mixing. He is SWATTING your hand away at the speed of light… giving you that disappointed, tired stare like “we literally talked about this :/”

He’s not a monster though—he’ll let you taste stuff if you just use a clean spoon! Keep the filthy mitts AWAY >:(

He’s into wordle lmao. And he doesn’t explicitly ask or state it but he expects you to do it with him everyday….it’s a collaborative project! He’ll be in the other room like “okay. I’m checking out the wordle now.” And if you just respond with an acknowledgment without dropping what you’re doing to come assist him he’ll peek his head in on you like… did you hear me? Im doing the wordle 😒! And you better make haste to go join him!

He spoils pets more than you…. & I think he’s seriously baffled that you’d wanna deny them human food. Gives you the straightest, most serious face and is like hey. your son is sad. he needs a piece of that sandwich. Looks at you like you just kicked a puppy in front of him when you say no.

You tease him for how particular he is about seemingly random things a lot… one day you bring up the cup holding thing and he sets his mug down like “Oh my god is this going to be a whole thing? It does not need to be.” You exhaust him!

If you’re ever sick he is concerned but also full hazmat suiting… Do not expect any kisses till you’re recovered and he is certain you’re not contagious. This man will wear a mask around you if you have a SNIFFLE. But he also is preparing soup, medicine, tea—whatever you may possibly need he has it ready…. He is an acts of service king of course he won’t leave you hanging.

Undefeated back rub giving KING. He’ll wear this bored expression like he’s thinking about something else while he absolutely DEMOLISHES any knots in your muscles…leaving you a comfortable jello consistency. It’s so routine for him—he knows the exact expression you’ll wear on your face before asking for a back rub and he’s gotten so familiar he’ll stop what he’s doing and motion for you to lay on the bed before you even get the words out.

He’s not shy asking you to play with his hair, especially because he knows you really enjoy it, but he will also ask you to wash your hands first….it’s nothing personal but he just watched you take your phone into the bathroom with you and he already showered tonight :/ It feels like a reasonable request.

His insomnia is annoying as hell when you just wanna fall asleep cuddling and stay cuddling all night. He’ll usually come cuddle for a bit when you fall asleep and occasionally he will fall asleep like that for a little while… but after at most an hour that man is sneaking back up to drink some tea and do paperwork or smth :/ Then he wakes up before you so bed empty in the morning :(

Floch (was scared bc u love him so i kept it brief )

Big banter enjoyer… This man is insanely sarcastic and dry and he loves when you’ll stick to the bit with him—he’s also never once shied away from teasing you for stupid stuff.

Oh thank god! I was really worried you’d remember the notebook you need for class today—What a close call 😮‍💨. Let’s head back. 

Right! I’m just glad we’ll manage to miss the train because of it !

He gets really puffy under eye bags so you teach him hydrating and soothing skin care that’ll help. He ends up really liking your self care ideas… the next time you see him you’re walking in on Floch leaning back on a chair with cucumbers on his eyes wearing your robe and one of your headbands… he’s so zen at that moment he doesn’t even notice you taking his picture. It becomes a point of tension when you won’t delete it as your lock screen afterwards for weeks.

He will fight dirty to get you to do what he wants. Maybe you were thinking of joining some friends for a girl’s night out at the bar… Floch is prepared with your favorite movie and some persuasive words to make you remember how much you prefer staying in with him! 

He will drop bad news in the form of doorknob confessions… like by the way my parents need to stay here this weekend! See ya. 🚶(leaves and turns off his phone)

He’ll make fun of you for the shows you’re into then be fully invested in them….. Fully pouts because you watched an episode of Fruits Basket without him like ???? He said he didn’t like it :/

[dragonfirerogue-writes]

Could you maybe do a jade x gn or ftm reader where they have been close friends for a while, even secretly hooking up whenever jade feels lonely (e.g. after the beck&tori anti-date, in the car at the end of the moose episode). R falls in love with jade but feels like a second choice, so they tell her they need some space to get over her, since she does not want a romantic relationship. Jade misses r and realizes she loves them, so she sings the song an the fullmoon thingy to them (instead of beck) and that's how they "come out" as a couple to the rest of the school? Sorry it's so long, it's just been stuck in my head for a while now. Thank you, and i love your work!

Jade x GN!reader

The sound of your text tone for Jade pulls you from your studying. Taking a look, you sigh at the words.

'Im coming over'

This seemed to be happening more and more often. You and Jade have been friends for years. When you were both starting to explore your sexualities, you were naturally drawn to each other. Then Jade started to date others, eventually leading to Beck. She stopped coming to you for a while after that. At least for the sex part. But every once in a while, whenever Beck and her were broken up, she would go back to you. And as much as it makes you feel used, you always welcomed her with open arms. Why?

You had fallen in love with her.

But you were never the first one in her life anymore. It became Beck, Cat and even Tori. You were benched until she needed something from you. It started to affect you mentally, leaving you depressed whenever she left your side to go back to whoever.

Bringing you out of your reverie, a knock signals the arrival of your guest. Of course she couldn't use the door like a normal person. As soon as you open your window, her lips are on yours. Even with eyes closed, she leads you to the bed and pushes you down, immediately climbing on top and stripping down.

"Jade..."

"No. No talking." She pulls at your shirt. "I need this now." She descends upon you and kisses you once more. With a sigh, you relent for now and let your hands roam her body. One last time wouldn't hurt.

-----+++++-----

Jade lays satisfied on your bed. You had already gotten up to help clean you and her off. Once done, you sat back on your chair, wearing your pajamas once more.

"Ready to talk now?" It was routine by this point.

"What, no cuddling this time?" Jade had that smirk you love so much. But seeing it now hurts.

"Jade."

She let out a groan and flops further into your bed. "Just another argument with Beck. We broke up again. He's been such a gank lately."

"Why do you even stay with him if you're always fighting?" You knew the answer to this, but you had to hear it from her. Maybe the answer will change this time.

"I told you, he's my safe place. He's always been there. He's my person."

Yeah, it didn't hurt any less than the first time. Jade gave you an odd look suddenly and you realize that you let out a scoff.

"Something funny, Y/N?" Now or never, you guess.

"Not funny, but really Jade? He's your person? What am I then, chopped liver?"

"Oh c'mon. You don't count."

"Why not? What am I to you, Jade?"

The goth pauses at that. She couldn't understand where this was coming from. You two had a good thing going. Why is it a problem now? Seeing her pause made you sigh. You run your hands over your face.

"Look... I don't think we should do this anymore."

"Wait, what?" She sits up, immediately grabbing her clothes to put on. "Why?"

You mulled over her question. You wonder if it's a good idea to relay your feelings. Would an excuse make her leave you alone? No, you were always honest with Jade. There's no reason to stop now.

"I... I really like you, Jade. And it just feels like I'm never gonna be your first choice." She stares at you, halfway into her pants. Her breath hitches slightly, but you don't catch it. "So if that's gonna be the case, I'd rather nip it in the bud now." Your eyes meet Jade's ocean ones. "Just give me time and I'll get over it... Eventually."

Jade feels surprisingly numb. She doesn't even say anything. She just leaves. The next thing she knew, she was home, in bed with a pillow in her arms. Why does it feel like she just got broken up with?

-----+++++-----

It was strange going to school and not seeing you. Jade was so used to you greeting her almost immediately. Even when she went to her locker, you weren't around. The first one to see her was Cat.

"Hey, Cat. Have you seen Y/N?" The red-head just shrugs.

"They're usually with you first, right? Haven't seen them yet."

It continues like this for the rest of the day. Jade started to wonder whether you even went to school. It wasn't until the end of the day did she see you with another group of friends.

Her heart clenches.

You were laughing with them. Your smile was one she realized that she hadn't seen in a while. You leaned into touches that weren't from her. Did you get over her that quickly? She didn't even get a chance to win you back.

That thought made her freeze. Win you back? You weren't together. You were friends with benefits. Good benefits if she would say so herself. Why was seeing you smile like that with other people making her feel this way? Jade turns away with a huff and walks away. She wasn't dealing with this right now.

You didn't even look at her.

-----+++++-----

It's been a couple weeks and Jade was going insane. She kept seeing you everywhere at school and you didn't even so much as glance at her. Her frustration made her friend terrified to talk to her. Only Tori was brave, or dumb, enough to speak up.

"Jade?" The goth's eyes shoot over to her, making the Latina jump. "M-maybe you should talk to them. Ya know, say you miss them or something." Jade's eyes trail back over to you. Bolstered by Tori, Beck speaks up.

"Look, Jade. You know that we aren't gonna work out." Her eyes bore into him this time, but he's unaffected. "Think about it. Y/N's been by your side and dealt with you screwing with them for years." He takes her shoulders and gives it a shake. "Why did you keep going back to them?"

She looks away from him, processing his question. Quite suddenly, it hits her. Jade's eyes widen and she whips her head over to you. A girl leans far too close to you while laughing and it makes her blood boil. Now she knows why.

Jade loves you. She loves you and now she's on the cusp of losing you before she even got to have you. Questions flood her brain. Do you still want her? If so, how was she going to tell you she cares about you? Would you even take the chance if presented?

An idea pops into her head. It was a risk, but for you, it was worth it.

-----+++++-----

You were doing well. You made sure to keep Jade out of sight. While it helped a bit to keep her out of mind, she still found a way to invade your brain. When someone was flirting with you, you wished it was Jade instead. When they touch you, your memory makes it Jade's. It was a hard process, but you are determined to see it through.

Even now, you're on a date with this girl at the Full Moon showcase. You're enjoying your time with her. Laughs and touches accent the fun time you're having. It was almost enough for you to forget about Jade. That is until you start hearing the rift of a guitar. You and your date turn to the stage and you see Jade walking up to the microphone. Her eyes find yours before glancing next to the girl next to you. She bites her lips when she turns back to you before taking a breath.

You think you know me

but you don't know me

You think you own me

But you can't control me

You listen to the lyrics. You're sure that this was directed at you. Taking a glance at your date, you see that she's rocking out to the song. When she notices you looking, she smiles but it drops when she sees your face.

"Sorry."

That's all you say before standing up and walking towards the stage. Towards Jade. Her eyes stare into yours as she sings. You stare back, face impassive as you try to gauge her sincerity.

I'm dangerous, I'm warning you

But you're not afraid of me

And I can't convince you

You don't know me

And the longer that you stay

The ice is melting

And the pain feels okay

It feels okay...

It's then that you smile at her. Her relief is palpable when she goes into the end of the song with gusto. When the song ends, she watches as you walk up the stage and stands by her. Cautiously, she brings her hands up to your face. When you lean into the caress, she lets out a laugh of relief and pulls you into a kiss. You vaguely register the audience's applause but it soon fades away the longer Jade's lips are on yours.

You part when you're both ushered off stage by Sykowitz and you find a corner to be alone in. Jade is the first to speak.

"Look, I know I've been a gank to you, but I want to try this. I want to make this work." She takes a deep breath. "I... I love you."

Your heart stutters. A fond smile graces your lips. It's no surprise that you lean in close and whisper those words back before kissing her again and again.

[kindnessisweakness2]

Delusional - Part 20

“Im sorry. Please could you say that again?” Delaney spoke softly almost as if any loud sound would wake her up from this dream. The doctor smiled. “Your pregnant. I’d estimate by the level of HGC in your blood, your about 8 weeks. Still very early but with all the stress recently, im not suprised you fainted. It’s your body’s way of saying slow down.” The doctor signed one last thing on Delaney’s chart, before ripping the paper and handing her it. “Here is a perscription for some Anti-sickness medication. This should help you sleep at night. No stressful situations please, you are still very early and the risk of miscarriage is very high still.Please take care of yourself, eat well, sleep lots and i will see you back here for your 12 week scan. Please make your appointment at the front desk as you leave. But in the mean time, anything that worries you, anything that doesnt feel right please do not hesitate to come back and see me.” And with that the doctor left the room in silence. No one could believe it. “A baby! A beautiful Grandbaby!” Gemma finally let the tears spill down her face as her lips settled in a wide smile. “Congratulations guys! Your gonna be the best parents.” Everyone started kissing Delaney on the cheeks and clapping Jax on the back as they made their way out of the room. Delaney turned to Jax once they were alone, “a baby.” she whispered as she choked back a sob. “Our baby.” Jax pulled her in to a tight hug, kissing her deeply. “ I cant believe it." She whispered as she held onto Jax tightly. "I'm not gonna let anything happen to you or our family. This times gonna be different. I promise." Jax kissed her forehead as he helped her up from the bed. Delaney couldn't wipe the smile from her face as she looked up at the man she loved. "I love you." Jax Smiled at his fiance. “I love you too. Now lets go book this scan so we can see our boy.” Delaney laughed at him. “How do you know its not gonna be a girl?” Jax shrugged as he opened the door for her. “Just a feeling babe.” Delaney shook her head as they both started to make their way towards the nurses station. Both their faces dropped as Tara was also stood there filling in paperwork. Neither of them missed her eyes light up as they landed on Jax. Rolling her eyes, Delaney stepped forward, ignoring their convosation and gave her information to the Nurse so she could book her appointment. “Okay Miss Carter, What is the reason for your appointment?” The elderly nurse asked and Delaney couldnt help but talk loud enough for Tara to catch. “Its a 12 week Scan. We Just found out we’re expecting.” The nurse smiled kindly at her as she typed on the computer. “Congratulations!” Delaney smiled as she took the appointment card, turning back to where Jax and Tara stood. “Your having a baby?” Tara questioned looking at Jax, who was grinning at Delaney as she took her place under his arm. “Yeah. Abit unexpected but we’re excited.” Tara tried to smile but it was clear she was unhappy. “So marriage AND a baby? Thats a big committment. You sure you can handle all that jax?” Delaney’s face dropped at Tara’s questioning. “What are you trying to say?” Tara Smirked as she could clearly see she was getting under Her Skin. “Jax has commitment issues. Well to anyone other than me. Remember what you said to me that night Jax? You slept around after i left to try and feel something, But the only face you could see when you were inside someone was mine? How it was always me and you couldnt stand the thought of me going back to Chicago?” Delaney looked up at Jax, confusion clear on her face. Jax was glaring at Tara, but from how his cheeks tinged pink she knew he was embarrassed and hiding something. Fuck. She was played. He played her. Their happy bubble burst within the hour. It was never gonna be easy for them. They werent gonna get their happy ending.“Take me home.” She spoke quietly. No anger, no tears. And Jax had to admit that made him more worried.

They drove home in silence. Jax tried to talk to her but Delaney closed off. Completely. Her mind went on overdrive. Running through everything that happened these last few months. If she missed something. Did something wrong. When they pulled up to the house, Delaney wasted no time storming through the front door, Jax on her heels. Both of them Missing the rose petals on the porch. “Babe please. Talk to me. Let me explain.” Jax pleaded. Delaney dropped into one of the chairs around the kitchen table. “Explain what? You having sweet heartfelt chats with little TarTar? Nah no thankyou.” Jax shook his head as frustration filled him. “Fuck Sake, it wasnt like that. Baby please!” Delaney couldnt bear to look at him as tears filled her eyes. “I knew that all this the last few months was too good to be true. Us finally getting the chance to be together after everything with alex. The ATF on the clubs back, fuck my parents turning up. The baby.” Delaney choked back a sob. “Us being a family. Its just not gonna work. Especially with her in town and with your reluctance to let her go back to Chicago clearly shows theres something there for you. I told you previously i wasnt gonna stand in your way with her. I just wish you had been honest before. Before the engagement. Before the baby.” Delaney wiggled the engagement ring free from her finger, and just watching her take it off made Jax feel sick. “Baby no. Please its not like that. Just let me explain. I can fix it please.” Jax cried as he dropped to his knees in front of her. He did the only thing he could do. He begged. Begged to keep her. Begged to keep his family together. How could everything go so wrong so quickly? “I Just think we need some time. So much has happened so quickly. If you want to explore this thing with her. You can, i just cant be around to see it.” Jax cried as Delaney spoke. “No, i dont want her Laney. Please let me explain. Please. I’ll give you time if thats what you really want, ill stay at the clubhouse for the weekend. But i know what and who i want. Monday Morning ill be home to you. My fiance, mother of my child and the only person i love. Please baby.” Delaney captured his lips in her own. She kissed him like she’d never see him again. Like it was the last time. Because Part of her feared that despite what he said, Tara really was it for him. “I love you.” And with one last kiss, she disappeared down the hallway to their shared bedroom, and left a distraught Jaxon in the kitchen. 

Jax didnt know how long he sat at the table for. It was dark outside and the house was silent. Delaney had gone to bed a while ago, Jax wanted nothing more than to comfort her as he heard her cry herself to sleep. But she wanted space and Jax had to respect that. He couldnt believe the nerve of Tara. To drop that on them, ruin their happy moment. Yes, Jax admitted it. He said those things. But she conveniently left out that that convosation was way way back when she first came back to charming. When seeing her for the first time completely fucked his head. Before he realised Delaney was the one. Her and Tara were complete opposites. Tara was his first love, but she was needy and unreliable. You couldnt count on her for fuck all because as soon as shit got hard little Tara packed her bags and ran away. Delaney, was strong. Always there no matter how fucked shit got. She didnt pry, regardless of the situation. She trusted him and trusted his judgement. And he loved her more than anything. Why couldnt shit be easy for them? Why couldnt they catch a fucking break? Thats it. He’d had enough. Grabbing the keys for his Harley Jax softly closed the door behind him, as to not wake delaney, and made his way to his bike. Within seconds he was racing away from their home back towards St Thomas. 

[send-up-my-heart-to-you]

in honor of world mental health day heres my story below the cut :)

kinda hard to talk abt this cause its somewhat triggering and ik theres gonna be ppl who think im just an emo 15 y/o, but i swear im not tryna be dramatic. im tryna make peace with my past, and also show others that despite everything, you can make it.

also, im tryna show that healing isnt all sunshine and daises. theres the good, the bad, and the ugly. you can and will survive it all

tw: sewerslide attempt, abusive parents, self harm, violence ig ?

ive died two times in my life so far.

the first time, it was my parents who killed me. december 31st, 2020, ~1.15am. i remember dragging across the hallway in my house, a throbbing sensation in my thigh, the mark already turning purple. i walked past my younger sisters' room, where my cousin was sleeping over with them, and i remember climbing into bed, hugging my pillow, crying against the pillow. that night, it was my innocence that died. my childhood happiness, per se. i remember swearing to myself in those final moments before darkness that id never forget that day. december 31st, 2020, ~1.15am.

the time between my two deaths was filled with barely anything other than self loathing. i remember trying to set goals for myself, reasons to live. i tried out new hobbies. i was never able to meet those goals, and all the hobbies bored me.

i met some of the best people ever during that time. i also met some of the worst. i might sound dramatic, cause im young and impressionable, but the people i met during that time genuinely shaped who i am. i dont wanna act like im an old soul or anything, cause im sure that in a few years imma look back and think, "shit, i was really immature." but i matured faster than others my age. i found myself faster, found things i liked, found love, found out i hated being in love.

and then i died again.

this was a recent death. june 22, 2023. my mental health had been deteriorating for months prior – i still have scars on my arms.

it was a slower death compared to the last one. i started dying at around 4.00pm. it went on for an hour before the pain became unbearable and i confessed to my parents. i didnt want to go to the hospital, i was scared of what theyd do. i threw up seven times before giving in at about 8.00pm. they took me to the hospital. i was told told me i was lucky to be alive, that my liver was still functional. i didnt feel lucky. i felt like death wouldve been less painful. my head was spinning

i died in that hospital bed, at ~9.40pm, with my eyes wide open, my mom sitting near me. my thoughts at the time were along the lines of this:

im quite literally a child in the eyes of the world. ive done nothing. i have a psychology exam tomorrow. i have a book im halfway done writing, and a new story thats been brewing in my head for months. but if i die now, ill never get to finish any of that. ill never succeed. ill never be able to spit in the faces of the girls who bullied me, of the teachers who doubted me. why would i do this to myself? why would i rob myself of that chance?

so i died. but not the same way as last time. this time, it was the poisonous me that died, the me that whispered in my ear that my life would amount to nothing, that everyone else had it better, that you either succeed or you dont.

and when i died the second time, something happened that didnt happen the first time.

i was reborn.

at the time of me writing this, its been less than four months since my rebirth. in those four months:

i decided to change the world somehow. not necessarily by finding the cure to cancer or anything, id be satisfied if it was just a cute lil video i made going viral. as long as theres someone out there who i changed

i finished about six chapters of my book

i began writing the story that had been brewing in my head

i started lifting weights to make myself feel better abt how i looked

i got closer to god. stopped missing prayer

i moved schools, leaving behind both bullies and friends

i started focusing on my studies

i tried to fix my relationships with my parents and my siblings

dont get me wrong. none of these are completed. im still an extreme case of nobody-ness. i havent finished writing either of my stories. i still skip out on working out a lot i still only do the bare minimum in terms of religion. im still struggling to catch up in school to make up for my three years of burnout. my relationship with my family is still kinda weird

and i still feel like im dying sometimes. its not like i changed overnight and all those suicidal thoughts and feelings of drowning just disappeared when the sunrays came up. theres still a lot of issues in my life.

but i have faith in myself. in my ability to change the things that can be changed. in creating happiness where theres room for it to be made.

and if finding happiness a losing battle?

well, ill fight like its the fucking boudican revolt.

[rubyreduji]

eat your young | the after pt 1

tags: hunger games!au, fake dating, angst, fluff

warnings: mentions of weight loss, limb loss, mentions of death and slight gore, survior's guilt, ptsd, they're being idiots again [pls tell me if i missed anything]

wc: 6.5k

an: FINALLY IM BACK BAYBEE HEHE ahh okay getting in the after stuff hehe wooo

m.list

When Jihoon wakes up, he’s surrounded by pure white. It hurts his eyes.

The room consists of four large walls, a bed, and no doors. Jihoon looks around confused.

He glances down at his body. He’s hooked up to a few tubes and machines but other than that he’s completely naked under the blankets. His skin is clean any dirt or blood and all of his minor imperfections have been healed. He would almost believe the whole game a bad dream if it wasn’t for the large healing scar over his stomach.

The last thing he remembers is being put in the hovercraft and being separated from you. He screamed and screamed as they took you away and suddenly he was being injected with something and passing out.

Jihoon jumps a bit when part of the wall opens up and an Avox walks in. He keeps his head down as he places a tray on Jihoon’s lap and puts Jihoon’s bed in a sitting position. Jihoon wants to question him about everything, but he keeps his mouth shut. The boy leaves and Jihoon stares down at the food in his lap.

It’s not much food. The sponsors honestly have you and him better meals in the arena, but he’s sure it’s another trick of the Capitol for some reason or other. He eats what was given to him before sitting back again.

Finally with a peace of mind he starts to think and it makes his stomach turn.

God, are you even alive?

Both of your legs were damaged and you were barely hanging on when the hovercraft came to pick you two up. There’s no way the Capitol would let you die after proclaiming you a victor. They would resuscitate you a million times before they would tell the country you died after leaving the arena. At least Jihoon hopes.

That’s how Jihoon’s next few days go. He sleeps, he eats, and he thinks. He thinks about you and going home and how things will go after he leaves this room.

Then finally the day comes when Jihoon is released from his bed. Sitting at the edge of his bed is a completely clean set of the arena uniform. Jihoon glares at it in disdain but still puts it on so he isn’t naked anymore. As he’s getting dressed, he notices the large scar on his stomach has already almost faded.

Right, Capitol technology. He has to be perfect now that he’s a victor.

The clothes burn against Jihoon’s skin and he’s already itching to get out of it when the door to his room opens. When Jihoon steps out of his room he’s greeted with a large empty hallway. Are you going to be stepping out of your room as well?

“Y/N?”

“Jihoon!” Jihoon turns at his voice, hoping to see you, but instead he’s greeted by Jennie, Junhui, and Soonyoung standing in a chamber at the end of the hall. It’s not you, but the sight still makes him take off in a mad dash.

“Jihoonie!” Jihoon launches himself into Soonyoung’s arms and he clings to the older boy as Soonyoung cries into his hair, petting the back of his head. “You did it Hoonie. I knew you could.” It takes another minute or two before the pair of best friends let each other go. Jihoon gives a small hug to Junhui and even allows Jennie to pat his back.

“Wh-where’s Y/N? They’re okay right? I-”

“The Capitol wants a live reunion at the ceremony,” Jennie tells you and Jihoon finally feels like he can breathe properly for the first time since waking up. You’re okay. You and Jihoon are both alive and okay and going home, together.

“Junhui is going to get you ready, but we’ll see you later, okay?” Soonyoung says and Jihoon nods. Soonyoung squeezes his shoulder one last time before Junhui leads Jihoon away.

Jihoon is swept into a whirlwind of being bombarded by his prep team and then being bed and then being thrown into the fitting room with Junhui.

Jihoon is stripped down to just his underwear and he stares at himself in the mirror. He’s gotten skinny. Skinnier than he already was. His face has lost some of his baby fat, but that’s only due to not eating enough. His hair is longer than when he went into the arena and his skin is tanner too.

Junhui comes whisking into the room, holding a dusty green shirt and a pair of brown pants. Like a tree. Jihoon doesn’t care that much though, he’s too focused on seeing you in just a couple hours.

“Jihoon-ah,” Junhui whispers as he puts the finishing touches on the outfit. His lips are right by Jihoon’s ear. “Remember to stay safe.”

The words puzzle Jihoon for a second. Stay safe? He just got out of all of the danger.

It isn’t until he’s walking with Junhui to the stage when he realizes what his stylist really means. He just tried to kill himself in front of the whole country. The President cannot be happy with you or Jihoon. You two may have won the games, but that doesn’t mean you two aren’t still playing.

Jihoon waits anxiously under the stage alone, his team already having rose to the stage for their introductions. There’s a wall splitting the underneath area in half and Jihoon assumes you’re on the other side. He has half the mind to break the wall down right now just to see you.

Jihoon doesn’t have to though because suddenly his plate is rising up on to the stage. It reminds Jihoon of the plates rising into the arena. He guesses it’s not that different.

The crowd is deafening as they roar for you and Jihoon. Jihoon looks to the side and there you are, right in his line of sight.

You look different. Your skin is clean and your hair is styled and you don’t look like you’re five seconds away from death for once. You look beautiful, but you don’t look like you. Even back home it was rare for you skin to not have some kind of dirt on it from working in the woods all day and all of your hard earned scars have been erased from your body and it makes Jihoon a bit mad.

Jihoon can’t focus on those thoughts though because you’re looking over at him and your eyes meet with his and both you and Jihoon move at the same time and it doesn’t take more than a second for you two to be in each other’s arms.

Your lips find Jihoon’s easily and the world around him falls away. Your fingers dig into Jihoon’s checks as you hold him against you like if you let go, he’ll disappear. Not that Jihoon has any plans of doing that. It isn’t until Boo Seungkwan clears his throat and all but pries you two apart that Jihoon remembers what’s happening around him.

Seungkwan ushers you and Jihoon over to the loveseat set out for you two. Jihoon gets a good look at you now. Your outfit is also glaringly plain, but Jihoon supposes that’s not a bad thing in a situation like this. Paired with your outfit is a silver stick that Jihoon can recognize as a walking stick. No matter how amazing Capitol technology is, they still couldn’t fully fix your leg.

You sit down first, but once Jihoon sits you don’t hesitate to cuddle into his side. It’s comfortable and familiar after spending three weeks curled into each other’s sides. Jihoon feels himself relax, just a bit, at your touch. Just knowing you’re here with Jihoon makes him feel worlds better than if you weren’t.

Seungkwan makes a few comments before the stage lights go dark and a screen lights up. The three hour recap video starts up and Jihoon’s hand finds yours.

Periodically he can feel you tense up and he squeezes your hand. You do the same for him. Grounding each other, just like you did that first day on the chariot.

The story line being told this year focuses heavily on you and Jihoon’s romance. Jihoon doesn’t know how he feels about having to watch multiple clips of you and him cuddling and holding hands and even kissing with the full five minute clip of your first clip being played. Jihoon cringes through the whole thing.

Despite the focus on the romance, it doesn’t take away from the clips being shown of all of the deaths. It’s sick and seeing it on the screen makes Jihoon’s stomach turn.

The Capitol must think they’re funny because they even devote a chunk of time to highlight the relationship between you and Hansol. Jihoon feels your tears drip onto his arm and all he can do is squeeze your hand tighter.

At some point Jihoon finds himself not watching the video anymore, just staring at you. He wants to comfort you, but he can’t, not here, not now. He just opts to pull you closer into him.

The video ends with the clip of Jihoon just being put onto the hovercraft, screaming about you being taken from him.

After the video ends you and Jihoon both rise to greet the President who presents you both with the crown. There’s a sinister look on his face and it leaves a bad taste in Jihoon’s mouth. Jihoon can tell you sense it too by the way you don’t let up your grip on his hand.

The banquet ensues afterwards and it’s a blur to Jihoon the whole time. The only thing he can remember even happening is your arms around each other the whole time. Finally, when the sun is just starting to appear, you guys are allowed to go back to your floor in the Training Center.

Jihoon is exhausted but he knows he’ll have to be up soon to do the post games interview. Jihoon stumbles into his room and falls onto his bed. He frowns. It’s too big and it’s too cold without you.

When Jihoon gets up to go and find you though, his door is locked. It shouldn’t surprise him as much as it does. The Capitol controls everything, including this. Jihoon sighs and moves back to his bed as he lays down. It seems like he’s not going to be getting any sleep at all tonight.

Junhui comes and gets him to get ready for the interview. This time he puts Jihoon in a beautiful blue suit that fits him like a glove. When Jihoon looks in the mirror he doesn’t think he’s ever looked so regal before.

Jihoon is brought to the room where the interview is taking place. He’s arrived before you and Boo Seungkwan is sitting in a seat. He stands when he sees Jihoon enter.

“Lee Jihoon! Great to see you again.” He shakes Jihoon’s hand eagerly and Jihoon nods politely. Thankfully you walk in right then so Jihoon can remove himself from the awkward interaction.

Jihoon’s breath is taken away when he sees you. You look stunning. You’re in a sleek, silver outfit that Jihoon can’t describe as anything over than “sharp”. It takes him only a few seconds to realize it’s modelled after the blade of an axe. Your cane is still in your hand and when you move your hem lifts a bit to reveal shiny metal under the fabric.

Your leg has been replaced with a new one. A prosthetic.

The idea makes Jihoon’s mouth go dry. They couldn’t save your leg at all.

Jihoon can’t say anything to you though as the cameras are counting down to start rolling and you get cozy next to Jihoon on the love seat.

“Hello Panem!” Seungkwan says when the cameras start. “Welcome to our Post Hunger Games Interview with this year’s winners, Lee Jihoon and L/N Y/N, from District 7.” Jihoon waves awkwardly at the camera and you do the same. “Well, first thing to address, you two look lovely. The amazing work of Xu Minghao and Wen Junhui! Care to tell us more about it?”

“Ever since I was born I’ve been using an axe, and it’s one of the fundamental things that got me through the arena, so today Minghao wanted to honor that,” you say. “It shows that I’m more than just someone who uses an axe. The axe is an extension of my person as whole.”

“Well, that’s beautiful. Minghao did an amazing job at conveying that. And you Jihoon, tell us about this look.”

Jihoon’s mouth opens but he doesn’t have any words come out. What does he even say?

“He’s a songbird,” you say.

Oh. Jihoon didn’t know that. He guesses the blue color makes sense now.

Jihoon can work with this. “In the same way that swinging an axe is so fundamental to Y/N as a person, that’s me with singing.”

“Ah yeah, a songbird, I can see that now. Songbird, that’s what Y/N calls you, is it not?”

“It is,” Jihoon confirms.

“That is quite adorable. Tell us more about you two and your love story. You told us that you two were only dating for a short while before going into the arena, but it seems your bond has grown even more since then with even experiencing your first kiss while in the games.”

The romance. The thing that drove the whole games this year, including the joint win. It’s crucial you two don’t mess this up.

“I think I’ve been secretly in love with Jihoon ever since I first heard him sing,” you tell Seungkwan. “It was during a choir performance the school was putting on and Jihoon has a solo and I never really noticed him before, but in that moment, he grabbed my attention and never let it go. It’s the most beautiful thing you could hear in the world.”

Jihoon stares at you. Is that true? It sounds too real to be fake, but you’ve proven before you’re good at thinking on the spot.

“I didn’t actually admit my feelings for him until he approached me though, I think I was too scared to confirm I had feelings for him incase he didn’t like me back.”

“Y/N is kind of a celebrity in District 7,” Jihoon jumps in and you scoff and shove him a bit. “Everyone knows them and they are very well loved. I was always a bit afraid of approaching them, so when I finally did, I wasn’t expecting them to respond so positively. I think our fate was sealed then.” You lean in and press a kiss to Jihoon’s temple.

“My, my, you two are cute. What is the plan for you two now that you’ve both been named victors. I know Y/N, you didn’t have plans on winning so what does the future hold for you?”

“I think I’m going to spend my time loving Jihoon.” You squeeze his hand. “We have so much time now.”

“I’m taking Y/N and putting them somewhere safe,” Jihoon says, and he means it. “No more injuries anymore. You’ve had enough for one lifetime.”

“Oh, that’s right. You’re sporting a new leg these days aren’t you Y/N?” Seungkwan asks like it’s been months since you got your leg and not a couple days ago.

“Yes I am. It’s been taking me a while to get used to, but the Capitol is a remarkable place that can do remarkable things,” you say and Jihoon just knows you’re trying not to throw up in your mouth.

“Now, I have to ask. You two were very emotional at the end. Jihoon, what was going through your mind?”

Fuck. Jihoon was hoping to avoid this topic, but of course they can’t. Jihoon has to put on the show of a lifetime if he wants to save your asses.

“I was thinking that I can’t live without them. We promised each other that we would leave together, and I couldn’t bear the thought of doing anything but that. In the arena I realized that I’m in love with them, and they mean the world to me. It was such an emotional moment that my only thought was that I need them, and if I couldn’t have them, there was no reason to live.”

The words flow easily for Jihoon, as there’s a hidden truth to each of them. He really wasn’t thinking in that moment. He didn’t expect them to announce them both as winners, he just knew he couldn’t leave without you.

Boo Seungkwan coos at Jihoon’s word and he signs off the broadcast, but not before it catches Jihoon pressing a kiss to your lips. When it’s all over you and Jihoon both take a breath and say goodbye to Seungkwan before being escorted back to your rooms. The interview brings the whole month of the games to an end. You and Jihoon can go home now.

“Y/N?” You look up to see Soonyoung standing in the doorway of your compartment on the train. The train took off just a little bit ago and you’ve just finished changing out of your Capitol garb and into something more comfortable.

“Soonyoung?”

Soonyoung steps further into the room. He walks all the way up to you and pulls you into a hug. You allow him to, burying your face into his neck. The hug is the second most comforting thing you’ve felt in the past month (the first being Jihoon’s hand presses against yours).

When he pulls away you want to pull him back in, but refrain from doing so.

“Thank you,” Soonyoung whispers.

You chuckle. “I think Jihoon saved me more times than I saved him.”

“He wouldn’t have been alive to save you if you didn’t have him first. I’m not talking about Jihoon though. Thank you for staying alive yourself.”

“Oh.” That’s not what you were expecting.

You don’t know how else to respond so you just follow Soonyoung into the dining room for dinner. Jihoon is sitting there and you slide into your spot next to him. You two may have developed some separation anxiety, but it doesn’t bother you at all. You like knowing Jihoon is close to you and safe.

That’s why you don’t bat an eye when Jihoon follows you back to your room after dinner. You’re actually glad he does. You know it’s going to be difficult to fall asleep at night without him by your side, but soon you two will be moving into your own houses in Victor’s Village and will sleep in separate beds. That’s why you want to make the most of it while you can still sleep tangled up together.

You and Jihoon both seem to breathe easier now that you two can finally lay down and rest, out of the public eye.

Your eyelids feel heavy as you sink further into the bed. It’s been a long month and all you want to do is go home and see your family and be left alone. You know it won’t be that easy, but you can at least dream.

It doesn’t take long for Jihoon to fall asleep in your embrace and you pet his hair lightly. What’s going to happen between you two? You two haven’t talked about it yet and you’re not sure what’s the best way to approach it.

Once you get back to District 7 you two can cut back on some of the obvious affection, but you’ll still have to keep up with it a bit due to the Capitol’s watchful eye. That’s not the issue though. The issue is that you don’t want it to end.

You don’t know how Jihoon feels though, and that’s the scariest part. Was this all an act for him? Does he actually like you back? Should you ask him out?

You feel ridiculous worrying over this. You just survived the Hunger Games and the Capitol is going to do everything in it’s power to get it’s revenge for what you and Jihoon pulled, but your mind is only plagued with your thoughts of Jihoon.

You’re still awake, pondering all the questions in your mind, when Jihoon starts to thrash in his sleep. He’s muttering something unintelligible. You’re not sure what to do. You’re still confused on what to do when Jihoon wakes with a gasp.

“Ji?”

Jihoon sits up and looks around wildly, his chest heaving. It isn’t until he lays his eyes on you that he finally relaxes a bit, but it’s clear he’s still shaken up.

“S-sorry,” he mutters, laying back down on the bed. His hands find your body under the sheets and he pulls you closer to him. You allow him to bury his face on your chest.

“Hey, it’s okay. Are you okay?”

“Just a nightmare,” Jihoon mutters. “About losing you. I’m okay now, though. Now that I know you’re safe.” Jihoon picks his head up so he can look at your face.

You haven’t slept since you were in the recovery room where they knocked you out to go to sleep, so you haven’t had to experience any nightmares yet. You’re scared that they’ll start once you finally do go to sleep.

“I’m safe, we’re safe,” you tell him. You cup his face and rub your thumb over his cheek.

“Did I wake you up?”

“Uh, no. I wasn’t asleep,” you admit. You want to bring up why you weren’t asleep, you want to ask him about you two, but you don’t. The words close up in your throat and you can’t get them out.

Jihoon doesn’t say anything else. He just cuddles back up to you and you two lay there, holding each other, clinging on to whatever this is between you two. You don’t sleep that night. Maybe that’s a good thing.

When the train pulls into the District 7 train station the next day, it’s packed. You expected a good turn out, but nothing like this. Especially when District 7 just had a winner two years ago with Soonyoung. You guess this is quite literally a once in a lifetime situation.

Peacekeepers stand on the sidelines, ready to take control of the situation if they see fit. The crowd is packed together and everyone starts to cheer when the train doors slide open to reveal you and Jihoon standing there.

You were clinging to Jihoon’s arm, but you let go and stumble towards the three familiar figures as soon as you set your eyes on them. You fall into your dad’s arms, tears already streaming down your face as he scoops you up. When he lets you go you pull your sister in a hug, kissing her forehead as you do. She’s crying as well. It takes her longer to let you go but when she does you turn to the final person waiting to greet you.

“Shua,” you sob out as he pulls you close. Your fingers grip the back of his shirt in your hands and you cry into his shoulder. His hug is fierce and you want to meld your body to his forever but you eventually have to let go.

Before Joshua pulls away totally, he leans in to whisper in your ear, “You better tell me all about Lee Jihoon later.” You choke a bit but nod.

Speaking of, you search the crowd for where Jihoon went. You catch sight of him on the other side of the train platform, talking to his parents and Beomju. Jihoon looks over at you right at that moment and you shoot him a smile and he smiles back, his eyes softening.

You take a moment to just stare at him. A month ago you two stood on the stage of the Justice Building, shaking hands, ready for one or both of you to die. Jihoon looked different back then. His hair has grown out and his skin has gotten more hardened. Rather than the soft, doughy boy he used to be, he’s now tanned and starting to grow some muscle. You remember the intimidated look he gave you when you two shook hands, and now he stands a few feet in front of you, with soft eyes and a fond smile.

You want him to smile at you like that all the time.

Before you can stare at Jihoon anymore, you’re being bombarded by the masses; people talking to you, cameras shoved in your face, people crying. The rest of the day goes by in a blur and you’re not able to fully recuperate until you’re resting on the couch in your (new) living room.

The week spent between your victory and your home coming, your father and sister moved all of your family’s (very little) belongings into your new house in Victory Village. Your house is right next to Jihoon’s, but you’ve yet to see the boy since the train platform.

The new house is…nice. It’s big. It almost reminds you of the Capitol, but it has a homey District 7 feel to it. It’s strange to have multiple rooms to inhabit. You are used to being in close proximity to your father and sister, but now you can all sit in your own rooms and do your own things.

Right now, you’re not alone though, because Joshua sits across from you, on a separate couch. You don’t know what kind of house needs more than one couch, but you guess that’s how rich people live.

“You look…thinner,” Joshua says. His eyebrows are furrowed as his eyes trail up your figure.

You snort. “I mean, I definitely wasn’t gaining weight in the arena.”

“No…I guess not,” Joshua mutters. You can tell he doesn’t know what to say to you. You’re not sure you would know what to say if the roles were reversed, so you don’t blame him.

You decide to put him out of his misery and start a conversation. “So…Jihoon.”

Joshua perks up a bit at this. “Right. You weren’t going to tell me that your little crush is now your boyfriend?”

“Oh please,” you laugh a bit, ignoring Joshua’s dig about your previous maybe-crush on Jihoon. “I would have told you if I knew.”

“So I’m guess that was all Jihoon’s idea?”

“Yes. A very smart one though.”

“The people love you. I bet it won some Jihoon some brownie points around here too.” You cock your head at Joshua, a bit confused at his words. “The town outcast now in love with the town heartthrob? The people around here love you, if you think Jihoon is fit enough to dating, they’ll respect him as well.”

You…never really thought of that. Huh.

“So, what now? Do you two have to keep fake dating or is there some big public break up planned?” Joshua asks. That’s…also something you haven’t thought about.

You don’t want to break up with Jihoon though. You don’t want to keep faking it either. What you want is the real thing. You want to call Jihoon yours. You’ve yet to tell anyone that though. You suppose now is your best chance though.

You stare at your best friend staring at you expectantly and you take a deep breath.

“I think I love him,” you tell Joshua.

“Oh?” One thing about you and Joshua is that he has always been able to tell when you’re lying or telling the truth, even without you having to tell him. He has to know you’re not lying right now.

“I know, it’s crazy, but…there’s just something about him that makes him perfect to me. For me.”

“Aren’t you scared?” Always.

“Of what?” Is what you say instead.

“That this is just some kind of trauma bonding thing. You two just went through a very physically and emotionally demanding situation and you were all each other had for a month. Are you sure you’re not just trying to hold on to something that was once comforting to you?”

Josh’s words hurt more than you expect them to. “No, no, it’s not like that. Being with him is a whole different thing in itself. C’mon Josh, you know I’ve always been a bit…infatuated with him.” You hate using that word, but that’s how Joshua would always describe it when he caught you staring at Jihoon for prolonged periods.

“I know, I just, I don’t want you getting hurt.”

“I won’t, I promise. I can handle my own.”

“Oh, of course, I don’t worry about that. That I know,” Joshua chuckles a bit. “I just don’t want you suffering anymore than you already have. You’re my best friend and I want to protect you. You’ve fought so hard and-” Joshua chokes on his own words, and you can finally see the hurt on his face. His eyes are starting to water and he has to look away so he can wipe his tears.

You knew this had to of been hard on Joshua, but you don’t think you ever realized the actual emotional turmoil he must have gone through. You two are best friends, closer to each other than anyone else. Of course watching you fight to live everyday must have been hard, especially when you declared you weren’t going to make it to the end anyway.

Without saying more you stand up and move across the room to sit down next to Joshua, pulling him into your arms. You’ve never been one to show too much physical affection to your loved ones, but maybe spending so much time holding Jihoon has changed your opinion on it.

“I missed you so much,” Joshua sobs into your shoulder. “And I was so scared. I know you’re all big and strong, but you’re still my best friend and I wanted nothing more than to just through the screen and come and save you. To put myself in your place.”

“Shua…”

“I don’t know what I would have done if I lost you. I can’t even explain how much you mean to me and if you didn’t come home? I don’t think I would have been able to take it.” The pain in his voice stabs knives into his heart and you hug Joshua harder, burying your face in his hair.

“I’m sorry,” you mutter. “I’m so fucking sorry. I thought of you every day. Every damn day, you were on my mind. I promise I won’t ever leave again.”

“Good, because I won’t let you go,” Joshua tells you.

You don’t know how long you and Joshua spend there, holding each other on the couch, but you don’t really care, just happy to be back in the safety of your best friend’s comfort.

The next time Jihoon sees you after being whisked away at the train platform is later that night, at the district wide celebration of your home coming. It’s not much, just a small potluck and some drinks, but Jihoon appreciates the effort nonetheless.

When Jihoon sees you you’re dressed in a pair of work boots, nice slacks, and a plain long sleeve shirt. You look a lot more like the old you. You make eye contact with Jihoon and your face softens. Jihoon meets you halfway and you’re quick to slip your hand into his. The gesture is familiar and Jihoon squeezes your hand tight.

“Hey neighbor,” you say teasingly and Jihoon chuckles slightly.

“You’re demoting me from boyfriend to neighbor?” Jihoon asks, without much thinking. Neither of you have really talked about your situation, aka the fake(?) dating. Maybe it’s because if you two don’t talk about it, it won’t have to end.

“You can’t be both?” You ask him with a grin and Jihoon flushes.

“I- have you ate yet?” Jihoon changes the subject and you shake your head.

“I just got here a couple minutes ago. You?”

Jihoon also shakes his head and you two head over to where a large display of foods has been laid out by various district citizens. You and Jihoon both grab some food and move to sit a table that’s been set out as well.

Several people fill up the town square, mingling and enjoying the happy energy of the day. A large bonfire has been started and Jihoon can see your dad helping tend to it. Jihoon doesn’t know much about your family, other than the passing of your mother and the fact that your father works as a lumberjack like you. Jihoon pulls his eyes away to look at you, only to find you already staring at him.

“Are you settling into your new house, okay?” He asks you.

You nod. “Yes. It’s nice, just very large. I didn���t know that a house could have that many rooms, at least not in the districts. I’m sure that my sister will find a way to decorate it nicely for us, though.”

The rest of the night is spent the same, glued to your side. At some point you and Jihoon get up and mingle with everyone, and you even introduce Jihoon to your father. The man is intimidating, just like you, as he sizes Jihoon up and down. It isn’t until you smack your father with your cane that he breaks and a smile spreads on his face. He thanks Jihoon for taking care of you in the arena before ruffling your hair and turning to go back to tending the fire. You roll your eyes but there’s a soft grin on your face as well.

When the night ends you and Jihoon walk back to Victor’s Village together, hands still clamped together between you two. You two stop outside of your house and Jihoon realizes he doesn’t want to let you go. He has to though, so he release your hand, but not before pressing a kiss to it.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, right?” You ask Jihoon and he’s surprised for a moment before nodding.

“Of course.”

The smile that spreads across your lips makes Jihoon heart warm and it makes him feel better about letting you enter your house. He makes the (short) trip over to his own house and walks in. His parents are already in bed as he climbs the stairs to his new room.

His motions are slow as he gets ready for bed, not ready to lay down and close his eyes. He tries to not think about the horrors that wait for him in the dark. He can feel his eyes start to droop from tiredness though and he submits to his body, finally climbing into bed. He doesn’t turn the lights off though, opting to sleep with the lights on instead.

He lays in bed and stares at the ceiling until he can’t hold his eyes open any longer, finally slipping into sleep.

“Jihoon! Jihoon!” The scream is piercing as Jihoon whips his body around, searching and searching. Plants whip at his body as he runs through the jungle, trying to find you. Your screaming continues, hurting Jihoon’s ears and heart.

No matter how far he runs, he can’t find you. Your voice sounds so close though. Where are you? Jihoon keeps running, trying so desperately to find you. It isn’t until the screaming stops that Jihoon stops running as well. No, no, why did the screaming stop.

He stumbles a few more steps until he feels his foot hit something. When he looks down, he nearly throws up. Laying at his feet is your body. Your eyes stare up at him, but there’s not life left in them. Your whole body is mangled, blood and broken and ripped apart.

“N-no, please, no,” Jihoon mutters. His throat is closing up and he can’t scream despite wanting to. “Y/N…no.”

He falls to the ground, his hands shaking as he reaches out to touch your face.

“You couldn’t save them.” The voice makes Jihoon’s head whip up. He blinks as he stares at the figure of Hansol. Sweet little Hansol with his round baby face and tears in his eyes. “You let them die! Just like you let everyone else die. Just like you’re going to let me die.”

“N-no.” Jihoon reaches out, trying to touch Hansol, but he’s just too far away. “I- I don’t want anyone to die. I-”

“Shut up,” Hansol spits. The sadness in his face is replaces with fury. “You’re so selfish Jihoon. I hate you. I hate you and so does Y/N and so does Seokmin and Wonwoo and everyone else. Why does everyone else have to die just so you can live?”

“Hansol please,” Jihoon begs. Tears start to grow in his own eyes. “I-”

Before Jihoon can even get his next word out, a spear flies through the air and hits Hansol right in the heart. The boy chokes before falling to the ground. Jihoon screams, barely registering the spear sticking out of the boy’s body as his own.

Jihoon’s body shoots up. There’s sweat running down his face and tears in his eyes. His heart clenches in his chest and he can’t stop the tears from flowing down his face. His body shakes as he tries to erase the dream from his mind. As hard as he tries though, he can’t get rid of the sight of your dead body on the ground or the screams of Hansol ringing in his ears.

Jihoon throws the covers off his body and climbs out of bed, taking shaky steps all the way downstairs. He pours himself a glass of water but it’s still not enough. Without thinking much, he leaves out the front door, his body making its way to your door before he can really realize what he’s doing.

Before he can even knock on the door though, it’s being opened. You stand on the other side, a bit stunned at the night of the boy standing in front of you.

“J-jihoon,” you breath out.

“I- hi. I’m sorry I just-”

“Couldn’t sleep?” You ask and Jihoon nods. “Yeah…me too. I haven’t slept in a couple days, and the nightmares were…worse than expected.” There are dark bags under your eyes and Jihoon reaches up to cup your face. You nuzzle your cheek further into his touch.

“I dreamt that you died,” Jihoon mutters. “I was so scared. I just had to check that…that you’re still here.”

“I’m still here,” you mutter. “I promise I’m still here.”

You reach out and pull Jihoon’s whole body into you and he sinks into you. The smell of wood floods his nostrils and his body relaxes, the shaken feeling in his bones starting to disperse.

“Hey Jihoon?” You whisper and the boy hums in acknowledgement. “Would you maybe…sleep with me tonight? It’s just so hard to sleep alone and-”

“Of course,” Jihoon answers. “Whatever you need.” It will also probably help Jihoon sleep better as well, and he can’t deny that the idea of his body cuddled up to yours brings him immense comfort.

You quietly thank him before leading him through your house and up to your bedroom. The two of you silently crawl into your bed and Jihoon situates the covers over you two before pulling you into his body. You lay your head on his chest, your whole body enveloping his.

Jihoon doesn’t know how long it takes him to finally fall asleep, your fingers brushing through his hair lulling him to sleep, but he does know that he sleeps through the whole night without any more issues, your presence protecting him from any nightmares lurking in the back of his head.

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