#its all dialed up to 100 in jinx but theres bits and pieces of me in there and exploring that helps me come to terms with those pieces | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nightingaletrash · 1 year

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Okay I think my first playthrough will be a Dark Urge Monk. I've still got to decide on the race and design, but I think I'll save that for launch day and play around in the CC until I like what I'm working with.

The Dark Urge just appeals to me so much, maybe its just where I'm at mentally or because of the characters I'm enjoying at this point in time, but the idea of someone wrestling with this inner darkness and the constant, draining battle against it... it'll either end with them finding people who help them control it and provide the support they need to keep it at bay OR it'll go pear-shaped and they'll be worse than ever :3

#bg3 #yes i am still thinking about Her #jinx literally altered my brain chemistry #like she's distinctly Not like the dark urge because she doesn’t have conflict over the things she does #she's Just Like That on her own. no dark impulses required just active choice #but its about the constant mental battle. the exhaustion the endlessness the never ending drain #and the way that it can actively ruin you and your relationships because you're constantly running on fumes #and the need to get it out so you can be free but you don’t know how to do that without making things Worse because no one ever taught you #believe it or not im actually in a pretty healthy mental space these days like im not in utter shambles #ive gotten good at recognising when things are getting bad and heading it off at the pass #but im still dealing with the fallout of years of trauma and mental illness so there's something strangely therapeutic #about exploring characters like jinx because while its not 1:1 my experience there's still kernels of me in there #depression. abandonment issues. paranoia. anger feeling trapped and unloveable #its all dialed up to 100 in jinx but theres bits and pieces of me in there and exploring that helps me come to terms with those pieces #oops this was supposed to be a bg3 post wasnt it lol

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