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#its like a h0use md episode. the doctors dont seem to kno what to do and shes not very coherent
opens-up-4-nobody
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4 months
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#its seems we really may be at the end of vanity
#i missed a call from my dad and thought we might be in a connors birthday situation but no. not yet
#he did say that it feels like this is it bc my mom's situation is complicated bc she has so much wrong at this point
#its like a h0use md episode. the doctors dont seem to kno what to do and shes not very coherent
#so my dad was saying that i should look at flights and by tonight hell let me kno if i should pull the trigger and buy a one way ticket home
#it sucks. he sounds rough. i feel so bad for him. his wife of 29 years is dying
#its not fair. shes only 53
#i wanna be there but im stuck here across the country. i wanna go home. thats a bit frighting tho bc itll take me at least 10 hrs to travel
#and i dont want her to die while im in the air but i also dont want her to suffer
#i hope she gets better but if she doenst i hope its fast. there dont seem to do any good options. shes so tried and its so complicated
#and if she does get better than this then what would that even mean? my sister says it doesnt feel like there will b a better anymore after
#this. and bless her to the ends of the earth she reached out this morning and was giving me updates
#comforting to kno im not just being dramatic. its actually just really bleak
#its kinda funny tho. my sister was like meh it doesnt seem so bad and then like 10min later she was like yeah no i was wrong its sorta
#horrible apprently shes been deterorating
#god. if i go back home do i take clothes for a funeral? do i keep up to date with my genomics class? will i become offset from my graduate
#cohort? will i get my wish to play with legos at home? all questions worth considering
#well. ill deal with whatever comes. so it goes. itll b fine. i mean ill b fine
#just sad ya kno?
#three weeks ago she was alright and saying she could fly out to take care of me after oral surgery
#now shes dying
#unrelated
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