#its no surprise at ALL that xiaoge loves him

[eirenical]

WIP Word Search

Thanks for the tag, @miss-ingno​!  My words were run, brush, freeze, and I found them everywhere.  ^_^  So some of this is going to go under a cut.

I’m going to tag... @elenothar, @adorablecrab, @enechelon, @buriedbybooks, @thearchivist-theprime, @laireshi, @satonthelotuspier and as always, anyone else who would like to be tagged, please consider yourself tagged because I always forget people.  *sheepish grin*  (And naturally, no pressure to participate; only if you want to. ^_^)  The words I’m going to tag you with are... broke(n), tears, and moon.  (Also, please make your own post; don’t reblog this one and add on.)

Run

Retribution, next in my GYADL Whumptober series:

Fusheng leaned a little harder into the knife, watching another bead of blood run down its edge before pulling back.  He flicked the blood off the knife and sheathed it.  “For now?”  He nodded down at his arm.  “A bandage would be a kindness.”

Lighthouse Keeper fic, A Guardian fic I’m cowriting with @elenothar​:

Zhao Yunlan winced himself awake, dimly aware of every muscle, every joint, every inch of skin, beginning to scream for his attention.  A quick pat-down revealed no major injuries, but still he *hurt.*  Then again, you stack up enough minor injuries and they could probably give a major injury a run for its money, right?  He pushed himself upright slowly, careful of the way each movement pulled at ever more new and exciting pains.  He was more muscle ache than muscle at this point and laying down for however long he'd been laying down had clearly not helped. But some things just couldn't wait, no matter how much you ached, and his bladder was starting to scream louder than every whining muscle group combined. 

The Time Swap AU, a DMBJ fic:

The clothing on the other side of the closet belonged to earth tones.  Rich creams, browns, and caramels, greens and greys, a wash of blue denim, and more cozy sweaters and cardigans than you could shake a stick at.  These clothes clearly belonged to someone else.  Someone… not Xiaoge.  Wu Xie reached out to run his fingers down the sleeve of one sweater. Soft.  Thick.  Warm. These were the clothes of a man comfortable in his own skin in ways that Wu Xie feared he never would be.  But given everything, he supposed they had to be… his?

And behind a cut for the rest...

Brush

A Guardian fic inspired by one of @baiyubai’s lovely pieces of fanart:

Leaning in to arch his whiskers in a gentle brush against Zhao Yunlan's cheek, Da Qing said, "You'll be wanting me to make myself scarce then, yeah?"  Having already resigned himself to seeking entertainment elsewhere, Zhao Yunlan's brief headshake came as a surprise.  "No?" 

Muet, Chapter 14, a Les Mis fic that I’ve been wanting to get back to for a while...

When the song drew to its close, the man returned Marius to the corner he’d been occupying since the start of the party. He lifted Marius’ hand to place a soft brush of a kiss across his knuckles, eyes twinkling above a smile that had shifted into a smirk around the edges.  “One dance.  I’m a man of my word.”  He turned, then, reclaimed his drink, and turned to leave. 

LFS Mei Gao Mei fic, a GYADL Luo Fusheng backstory fic:

Fusheng clutched his towel more tightly to his chest, eyes wide as he pressed himself back into the wall, trying to avoid a collision as yet another group of laughing dancing girls came barreling down the hall towards the bathroom.  There was only the one on this floor, unless Fusheng wanted to go down and use the customers’ restroom or sneak upstairs to use Hong Sanxian’s.  The latter could get him fired and the former… well, he had no desire to go down to the main floor in his pajamas just to wash his face and brush his teeth.  So, it was this bathroom or no bathroom, and this bathroom was shared between all the people who lived on this floor… which included many of the dancers.

Freeze (absolutely nothing for this one, so I went with all the variations, too)

More from the DMBJ Time Swap fic:

The smile dropped from Wu Xie's face as quickly as it had appeared.  Husband?  What… *husband?*  The blood drained from his face so quickly he swayed in Pangzi's grip.

The shared closet.

The shared bed.

Sleeping *naked together.*

Morning sex.

*Husband.*

"Whoops. Shit.  Went too fast for you, did I, Tianzhen?  Xiaoge warned me there was amnesia at play here, but I didn't…" A heavy sigh.  "Where did I lose you?"

Wu Xie's voice creaked when he got it out of his frozen throat, but he managed to say, "Xiaoge… Xiaoge and I are…?"  He couldn't do it.  He couldn't get the rest of it out, just turned pleading eyes on Pangzi and hoped he would understand.

Legacies Found, the sequel to Legacies Lost, a The Untamed fic:

Just when Fazhan reached a close enough distance that he could call out to announce himself without having to raise his voice, Jiang Sizhui halted his current motion, smoothly sheathed his sword, and turned precisely ninety degrees to face Fazhan head on, one eyebrow lifted. Fazhan froze.  They stood there silently, eyes assessing, as the seconds ticked on, until Fazhan couldn’t take it anymore.  Offering Jiang Sizhui a short bow, he said, “You look a bit bored over here, drilling with the children.  Care for a spar?”

[whomst-art-thou-whomst-whomst]

Time Raiders: Or, And Here You Were Thinking The Lost Tomb’s Wu Xie Was The Worst Case Scenario Gay Disaster

Coping with stress and deadlines=comfort shows…not 100% sure how this universe became my comfort shows but here we are.

We open with your usual “What the fuck” background wherein there’s a snake empress and her bae something something scheme and we meet our Zhang Qiling—we actually get to see the qilin that is contained?represented? In his sweetass tattoo before we get a brief history of Wu Xie as a prepubescent house-breaking disaster who achieves one (1) coin that Will Be Significant.

Zhang Qiling is a grumpy little fucker, not yet in his hoodie noir aesthetic stage but slightly more sociable here! if by sociable we mean he gets into fights during the usual Wu family “this will be easy peasy haha nothing to worry abt” pre-tomb raiding get-together, where he finally encounters bebe Wu Xie! Who is being an adorable pain in the ass getting in everyone’s way because after all it’s a day ending in y.

The precious deer himself, Lu Han, is our Wu Xie. I actually found myself really enjoying his portrayal—he just looks incredibly innocent and sweet, nonstop 🥺, with a mischievous little smile. Also, we get facets of Wu Xie’s personality established here that foreshadow how he will grow into the mess we all adore and facepalm over: his intelligence and curiosity outweigh silly things like “basic self preservation” and “not dangerous shit” and we get a glimpse of that dark humor. On the pingxie front, we see the origins of his immediate and relentless insistence on Getting To Know Zhang Qiling, aka the beginners guide to stalking someone.

Normal people: nice to meet you, how are you doing?

Wu Xie: *assigns Zhang Qiling a name, aims gun at his own face to test Zhang Qiling’s niceness, takes pictures of him every five minutes*

Zhang Qiling: hope this doesn’t awaken something in me—

Xiao Ge is thus clearly in crisis from the beginning where he is first to flirt (?????) by…cutting off Wu Xie’s necklace and then handing it back to him? Idk maybe this is second base for the Zhangs. Anyway it’s clear that he’s already like “isn’t there a cutie pie moppet club meeting that’s missing its president oh god I think he’s cute fuck fuck fuck”. The rest of Wu squad isn’t as fleshed out; Wu San Xing seems borderline competent, which is weird for the wine uncle, although Pan Zi is his usual perky BAMF self. We get Pangzi yayyy!! Albeit at first not on the pals side. Currently working for Hendrix, an old white man kinda explorer who watches from his high tech little lab. Also Pangzi def brought a microwave burrito to the tomb raid and he’s right—and frankly Ah Ning can do whatever she wants, she’s sexy and badass.

There’s also a strange moment where Zhang Qiling asks Wu Xie the question everyone in the audience, his entire family, god, tomb zombies etc have wondered: why are you, with your dark academia outfit and chipmunk charm, here on this trip? And we actually get a straight answer!! From WU XIE OF ALL PEOPLE. He’s trying to figure himself out as a person, he is incredibly curious, and he has peak bebe of the family energy in admitting that the more people tell him not to go, he wants to go. Although to begin with, his main role is nerding out and snapping pictures of everything while flirting with Zhang Qiling. Love that for him.

Meanwhile, Wu Xie is like 🥺what if…our first date was in this tomb?? And Zhang Qiling is like, I have no choice but to kiss you, I mean protect you, …and we get these big smiles and outright laughs from him??? Which isn’t the Xiao Ge I know, but for some reason I think it fits here with sheltered lil Doe-Eyes McDimple.

And then there are spontaneous tornadoes and something happening in outer space. Sure. Tbh at this point in this universe I’m not even surprised. Something something snake empress, something something key, etc. The tomb-raiding plot unfortunately interferes with what was shaping up to be a great first date for pingxie, and Wu Xie sets off a cool lighting system for what is undoubtedly the first and last time he will ever make a good decision in a tomb raid.

Sure enough, like two minutes later he plays with some little puppet musical instrument and the puppet’s eyes MOVE. Upsetting. And then the tomb trap fuckery commences—hallucinations, choreographed dance/escapes from swords, pingxie’s first dramatic “catch you in my arms” and Wu Xie participates in the long tradition of “twink plays the flute to ward off bad shit” Good times. I do like that we get a glimpse of how selfless Wu Xie is capable of being—he ends up on a collapsing floor and is all #pingxiepriorities and wants to get Zhang Qiling’s memories for him via camera instead of worrying abt his life. Classic xiaoge 🙁 and Wu Xie 💀 😍 situation

A summary of the peak action scene:

Time Raiders: there aren’t any snakes in this one

Me: oh whew what a nice break

Time Raiders: there are extremely aggressive worms

Me: what

Time Raiders: also a Venus fly trap woman

Me: …

Time Raiders: how about some steampunk type inventions? We got those too.

[redxblueihateloveyou]

Fascinating. They usually cut jealousy scenes to a minimum or don't show at all even in pure BL genre, like Lan Wangji (esp Wen Ning thing) or Shen Wei being extremely possessive, bc it can't be explained by brotherhood in their opinion. It's also the reason it was cut from Ultimate. So why here suddenly add scenes like that and with such heavy focus is a mystery, since you've said it's not in the novel. It's not even reasonable jealousy, its just straight up "cant touch my piece of pizza" stuff

Hmm... never thought about it. LOL in the anime the kept LZ being jealous of Wen Ning though xD. Idk in "Sleuth of the Ming" they made a whole open scene out of it. What I've noticed is that their censorship always works differently, and some choices never cease to surprise me, as in who decides what's ok and whats not, bc idk... I understand that stuff like dying for each other, touching, staring can be by many seen as a touching bromance technically, I mean I've seen many ppl watching even cencored BL and being completely oblivious. But there are sometimes some stuff included, that I personally do not get how it can be interpreted as "close friends" and how it passed the censorship. And I do not mean here sucking out poisons, for example (bc I would've done this for my close friends if they were in danger haha).

I'm just judging from the point of view of like me and my sister being very close to the point of a person on the street asking us if we're lesbians lmao (I like still don't get where it came from, hand holding?xD). As I've said before, I guess I see why some ppl who don't have close friends or family would consider some closeness as romantic (since both close bros and couple do some things like spooning for example), but anyone who like saw idk bts members or have a super close bestie or sibling might know that hugging each other to sleep, wearing their clothes or feeding them a jelly bean if their hands are busy doesn't always mean you have any romance there going on, speaking from my expierience, so I just have different view on this "gay stuff vs bro stuff". (like to me the afterlife pingxie scene is actually gayer than any touching they've done, bc like why he didn't see his family or iron triangle whole if they all bros). It's just there are a LOOOT of things that can be indeed considered bro stuff technically (they might not be, but they could), but there is some stuff that just cannot be explained by we're bros, thats all. And this kind of jealousy is one of them.

Bc like a bit of jealousy like "my bestie wanted to go skating with their lover instead of me, so I'm upset we don't spend as much time together" can exist, but if you have problems with someone hitting on your friend, checking him out or even touching him and you don't want them to date anybody, that's another thing, that just means you wanna date them. Wu Xie can hug Fatty to sleep and they can slap each other's butts like me and my sis, but he'd never be jealous seeing someone flirting with him or smth. You know what I mean here? So I get why it's in most situations considered not censorship appropriate and it's cut.

But the most funny thing about the "him being unreasonably jealous" added scenes is the fact that like they actually chose to make him being absurdly jealous. Bc for example in the first version of the scene, Pangzi was trying to dance with Xiaoge, thats why Wu Xie got all worked up:

it was at least somewhat understandable. But in the actual scene from the drama they went and for some reason changed it. Xiaoge pulled Pangzi in, bc he lost direction while being blind, but it was still Pangzi who got reprimanded for that at the end lmao

so it just became even more hilarious, bc Pangzi just grazed him, he didn't even do anything, so I was like will this guy just calm the fuck down, but no, he kept going lolz

I'm just surprised about some of their deliberate choices I guess. So I agree, weird it is.

But Reboot in general was weird, when it comes to the rollercoaster of their choices lmao. They uncensored, then used censorship to uncensor, then censored to cover, its just the first time I saw this weird kind of censorship, like as long as girls are there, jokes like "I won't be able to get it up on a woman" are okay??????? Idk they were just extremely out there almost each episode with all kinds of stuff, that by the end I was like... well, at this point its already pointless. I guess it was just the first time, I've seen it made in such weird way and actually used in a smart way fitted with the character and no just for the sake of it. Adding a scene when he accidentally calls his in their opinion potential love interest his bro's name is actually uncensoring, not censoring, you know what I mean? (since we in fact didn't move anywhere near this realization in the book). Same as what many noticed about them openly making fun of censorship and "out of nowhere appeared feelings and how its not love and whats wrong with idolization if u don't know a person" after NPSS interviews and how it only made everyone fall for what pingxie have more. So it was like... I actually for the first time enjoyed it. It was a pretty genius way of showing Wu Xie's weird internal struggles from that book, which I thought were not possible to show. Bc as you know he's hilariously oblivious there about all of it and same as WWX for example do not even consider such possibility. But I think it's just bc it's not actual BL BL, it's a story where a couple naturally accidentaly came together and turned out to be both guys (even tho one was initially intende to be a girl xD), so its in general complicated. Wu Xie is just borderline lost at this point xD. It's like "Yeah, I want him... What do you mean as in dating? Whats that?". Or like:

- Want a wife?

- No, I want Xiaoge.

- As in you're gay?

- What's a gay?

That's basically how he rolls.

But I do love jealous Wu Xie, I think it's hilarious here, he's like somehow complitely okay with how idiotic he looks and that's very sweet haha.

P.S. "can't touch my piece of pizza" lmaoo well Xiaoge does look very delicious like Black Glasses says xD

P.P.S. all in all I really do not get how their censorship works in general at all. Like why Wangxian wedding bows were allowed, but other stuff don't? Or like I get like complimenting your bestie "you look hot in this" or "you're so pretty" or smth, but there's a difference between this and saying that their "lips look sweet"... like thats already another thing entirely. So at times I watch cdramas like... huh??? Maybe it depends on who checks it idk

[kolachess]

DMBJ Origins + State of the Union Explained

OK, so it occurs to me that many of you might not know of the humble origins of DMBJ and / or why it is the clusterfuck it is today (because it really is).

All externally linked references will be Chinese, and you’ll need to MTL them.

Origins:

So Xu Lei, or Nanpai Sanshu per his pen name, started DMBJ in 2006 as a fanfiction of another tomb-raiding series - Ghost Blows out the Light or 鬼吹灯 (Gui Chui Deng). Yes! DMBJ was a fanfiction! Which is why, if you’ve read the novels, the quality of work earlier on is rather amateur-ish.

Ghost Blows out the Light featured a trio of main characters  - Hu Bayi, Wang Pangzi, and Shirley Yang. A few interesting similarities to call out (SPOILERS FOR GCD I GUESS):

Wang Pangzi in DMBJ is pretty similar to the Wang Pangzi in GCD

They are a trio of main characters

Shirley Yang, the ‘Xiaoge’ equivalent, if you will, has a family curse

Shirley Yang and the main character, Hu Bayi, end up together

Here’s something I dug up about them.

Development / Divergence:

Keeping in mind that DMBJ was a fanfiction to start off with, it thus should not be too surprising the difference in literary quality between the two works, as well as subsequent divergence in development.

First, let me note - I love DMBJ, and I think the author has done a brilliant job. However, I can definitely also sense the more amateur nature and less... professional authorship associated with DMBJ.

Now - DMBJ began as a fanfiction, but eventually exploded in popularity in ways the author did not expect. He then added his own flavor to it entirely, and it has since diverged into a pretty different work entirely - on style, plot, subsequent character development, etc. I haven’t seen too much concern on plagiarism issues on that front. People seem to have accepted these as two works.

So for all the fanfic authors out there... how well do you plan out your stories? 🤣 And as you’re reading comments and reviews... how often have you tweaked things here and there to adapt to what the readers want? It seems Nanpai Sanshu was in the same boat. Unlike the author of GCD, who was more of a traditionally published author, he was writing something for the readers, so he’d adapt things as he went along based on what others liked.

The good - this is how Pingxie managed to become practically canon. 

The bad - there’s a lot of plot holes that were dug and subsequently left unfilled.

Development of Pingxie:

Because of course this deserves its own callout. People joke that Nanpai Sanshu is a BL writer and it’s because... well... he pretty much is at this point. Given the fanfiction and less professional context of authorship, you can see how the development of Pingxie might have come about then. What the fans wanted was more Wu Xie and Xiaoge interactions, and so the author went with it.

Many people call it selling out, and attribute it all to the fact that he wants more money, which might be true. But I think, given how he started out, this may just be how he wanted to write. He wrote for fans to begin with, and so it’s not surprising he continued.

In my other post, I talked about the infamous ‘Ten Year Promise’ quote, which the author provided in an interview that summed up the Pingxie relationship. I haven’t yet gone through the whole interview in proper Chinese, but you definitely get a sense of how casual / direct he can be with the fans (especially fujoshi / Pingxie fans haha).

From the interview and subsequent development, it sounds like Nanpai Sanshu did originally want to end DMBJ on a rather tragic note, with Wu Xie and Zhang Qiling not having quite a happy ending. Wu Xie especially, he noted as having a particularly if not the most tragic of fates.

However, the power of fans have since prompted him to... well... not end it on such a miserable note. And hence the series continues, and the plot holes continue to grow...

And that’s why you might read / see things that don’t make sense. It’s not necessarily fanfiction being inconsistent with canon, or even dramas being inconsistent with canon... at this point, canon itself can be inconsistent with canon. 😭

State of the Union:

Nanpai Sanshu has suffered from depression / anxiety as a result of all this pressure 😞. He’s still writing sporadically, but there are starts and stops, with novels such as Tibetan Sea Flower and Tomb of the Sea both being unfinished. There are tons of plot gaps / holes still, and you can find a summary post of it all here.

He wrote ‘Ten Years Later’ likely as a response to all the demand by fans to have a Pingxie reunion, and in that story, Wu Xie comments that he no longer cares about finding out all the mysteries, that he would also become a person with ‘no past or future’, echoing Xiaoge’s own description of himself. 😊 Aww... but also, it’s Nanpai Sanshu’s way of telling the readers to forget about the mysteries of the Gate and all that. 😅

And now... he seems to be focused on milking the dramas for all they’re worth lol. Understandably, given he’s probably now trapped himself between a rock and a hard place in terms of plot details - he can no longer end Pingxie on a bad note, or really end it at all, but he also has no way forward with all the current plot lines.

[merinnan]

Fic Tag Game

Grabbed from @hils79, because it looked like fun.

Name: Merinnan, which I’ve gone by for... fifteen years now, I think? Prior to that, I mostly used Calicia (and sometimes Zoi).

Fandoms: Like Hils, I’m only going to list the fandoms I’ve actually written fic for.

Star Trek: My very first fandom, and the one I’ve written the most fics for (so far - I suspect that DMBJ will overtake it. It certainly already has in terms of word count). I was (and am still) primarily a DS9 fan, and was a huge Kira/Dukat and Garak/Bashir shipper back in the day. Most of my Trekfics are DS9 fics, but I also dabbled a little bit in TOS and TNG, and had one or two crackfic crossovers that involved Voyager characters. Discovery has tempted me with a few fic ideas, but I haven’t written anything for it yet.

Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon: aka, the show that first had me seriously questioning my sexuality. Look, Haruka and Michiru are #goals, don’t judge me. This is also where my Zoi name came from, after the first season villain Zoisite, whom I cosplayed several times. Unsurprisingly, my main ships are HaruMichi and KunZoi. Despite this fact, neither of my published Sailormoon fics are HaruMichi.

Bubblegum Crisis Tokyo 2040: A short-lived fandom, but one I still liked enough to write a fic for and get the OST CD.

World of Warcraft: I wouldn’t say I’m really part of the fandom, per se, but I’ve been playing since the dying days of Burning Crusade, am a huge lore nerd, and started writing a crossover fic that is currently on indefinite hiatus. I do plan to come back and finish it, but first RL got in the way, and now I have to try and remember where I’d actually been planning to go with it.

A Court of Thorns and Roses: That crossover fic I just mentioned? Yeah, this is what it’s a crossover with. ACoTaR fandom went sleepy for awhile, but it’s back up and kicking now that A Court of Silver Flames is out - if any of you are still following me, it’s great to see everyone active again! To the surprise of no-one who knows me, I’m a big Nessian shipper.

Mo Dao Zu Shi / Chen Qing Ling / The Untamed: I came to this fandom via ACoTaR, actually, after a certain person (hi, @rhysand-vs-fenrys!) wouldn’t stop gushing about it :-) This is the fandom that really and seriously got me back into regular fic writing again after 15-ish years. I’m a multishipper here, and have written / am writing WangXian, NieLan, XiCheng, XuanLi, and XiSang.

Guardian / Zhen Hun: MDZS fandom led me to Guardian, which, along with DMBJ, has devoured my life in a way that hasn’t happened since my Star Trek days, and I love it! WeiLan is my major ship, but I’m also quite fond of the DaMian life raft.

Zhu Yilong: Yes, I’m going to list a person as a fandom. Zhu Yilong is one of the stars of Guardian, and is both incredibly pretty and an incredibly talented actor. So much so that I have suffered through some truly terrible dramas just to watch him in them. I do not write Z1L-fic, since RPF of living people is a personal squick of mine, but I am working on a massive crossover fic of most of his characters.

Mo Du: Guardian led me along to more of Priest’s works, such as Mo Du, which is now officially my favourite book, and I adore the main WenZhou ship. The Mo Du fandom right now is pretty tiny, and I’m still working on my first fic for it, but I hope that it will grow with the donghua due out this year, and the drama having just started filming.

Daomu Biji / The Lost Tomb: I initially came into this fandom because of Zhu Yilong, who played Wu Xie in the Reboot / Reunion / Chongqi drama, and then I got sucked into the fandom pit of all of the books and dramas and spinoffs, and it’s wonderful and fantastic. I have written so much for it, and have so much more planned. PingXie and PingXieSang are my main ships here, but I’m also a HeiHua fan, and very much enjoying the RiSang pool noodle that @kholran created.

Tropes: Hurt/Comfort and crack are my major ones.

Fic I spent most time on: A toss-up between Endings and Beginnings and Reunion, both DS9 fics. Endings and Beginnings is an alternate ending to the show, while Reunion is a Gul Dukat-centric fic set around, oh, season 5ish? Both were written for and initially published in print fanzines, so in addition to time spent writing, there was a lot of back and forth for editing, etc.

Favourite fic(s) you’ve written: Look, I honestly couldn’t say. I like most of the fics I’ve written, and there are several that I’m really proud of and really like.

Fic I spent least time on: Silent Graves, a super angsty DMBJ/Lost Tomb Xiaoge fic. I think I wrote it in like 15 minutes.

Longest fic: Cat’s Paw, a DMBJ/Lost Tomb PingXieSang canon rewrite fic I co-wrote with @xantissa, at  247 826 words. For fics written by just me, not with a co-writer, then that would be Nevermore, my WIP MDZS/CQL XiCheng Pacific Rim AU, at 22 276 words and counting.

Shortest fic: Every entry in my DS9 Drabbles series, with each one at exactly 100 words. Although if you count them as a quintdrabble, then Indiscretion (a DS9 missing scene vignette about Gul Dukat, set during the episode of the same name) at 169 words.

Most hits/kudos/comments/bookmarks/subscriptions: The answer to all of these is either Cat’s Paw or Nevermore, so I’m going to give the next highest.

Hits:  Those who fear darkness have never seen what light can do, a DMBJ/Lost Tomb PingXie supernatural AU fic co-written with xantissa.

Since this fic also takes the highest kudos, bookmarks, and subscriptions after Cat’s Paw/Nevermore, I’ll skip to the next fic along on each of those.

Kudos: Stars fall like diamonds, a DMBJ/Lost Tomb PingXie missing scene fic from Reboot/Reunion/Chongqi.

Bookmarks: A Knight in Bloody Armour, another DMBJ/Lost Tomb PingXieSang supernatural AU fic (but a different supernatural AU) co-written with xantissa.

Comments: Ears and Other Related Calamities, yet another DMBJ/Lost Tomb PingXieSang supernatural AU fic (of a different again supernatural AU) co-written with xantissa.

Subscriptions: The Rescue Job, a Guardian WeiLan Leverage AU, currently at one chapter complete and posted out of a planned five chapters.

Fic you want to rewrite/expand on: We have plans for a prequel and a sequel to A Knight in Bloody Armour, and a spinoff fic for The Zhang Identity (a DMBJ/Lost Tomb PingXie AU that is complete but not yet posted. It will be posted in April as part of the Small Fandoms Big Bang).

Share a bit of a WIP: This is from an as-yet-unnamed post-canon fix-it fic for the Guardian drama:

It was hurting again. Zhao Yunlan curled up into a tight ball under the hospital blankets, trying to ignore it enough to try to get back to sleep. He knew it wouldn't work, because he couldn't remember a time when it ever did, but it was always worth a shot, right? He squeezed his eyes shut and held himself tightly for a few...moments? Minutes?...before grabbing his stuffed cat and clutching it while he forced himself to breathe deep, slow breaths the way the doctors back in Spring City had taught him.

Eventually, the pain died back down to its usual dull ache, the one that was bearable and let him play, and watch TV, and do school lessons with his mother. One day, she said, they'd find a doctor who knew what was wrong, why he hurt all the time, and the doctor would give him medicine that would keep the worst pain away so that he could go to an actual school and meet more kids than the ones who lived in their apartment block or who frequented the same playground that he liked to go to.

Zhao Yunlan tried closing his eyes again, seeing if he could go back to sleep, but he was far too awake now. He sighed, sitting up in bed and looking around the room. Again. It was just like the hospital rooms in Spring City, and in Kiyota City. He figured that if the doctors here in Tomorrow Mountains couldn't help, his parents would take him to yet another city, and the hospital rooms there would probably look the same, too.

Then, over the faint beeping of hospital equipment, and the quiet murmurs further down the corridor of nurses at the nurse station or seeing to other patients, he heard a soft sniffling sound, like someone was trying not to cry too loudly. He picked up his stuffed cat and looked at it.

"What do you think, Dead Cat?" he asked it. "Should we go and find them?"

Dead Cat didn't answer, of course, but that didn't stop Zhao Yunlan from assuming that it agreed with him, and slipping out of bed. His feet touched the cold tile floor with barely a sound, and, still holding Dead Cat tightly, Zhao Yunlan padded over to the door. He looked up and down the corridor, then left his room to track down the sniffling noise.

He wasn't surprised that it came from the next room. He was surprised that it came from another kid, a boy who looked to be about his age, huddled in bed and wiping his eyes.

"Hi," Zhao Yunlan whispered. The other boy looked up in surprise, then stopped to clutch his chest as he began to cough. Once he'd finished coughing, Zhao Yunlan and Dead Cat were perched on the end of his bed.

"I'm Zhao Yunlan, and this is Dead Cat." He held up Dead Cat, moving one of the paws to wave hello. "What's your name?"

The boy wiped his eyes again. "Shen Ye."

I tag: ALL OF YOU! Are you a writer who hasn’t done this yet? Consider yourself tagged if you want to be.

[bowsie22]

Pingxie Collection 1

Summary: Floral Note had some odd customers.

If you had told Xiao Hua ten years ago that he would be delaying a tomb raid due to a wedding he would have laughed. It’s not even his wedding for god’s sake! Pangzi shrugged, completely unapologetic.

“Sorry. But Hei Fen’s wedding is in three days and I promised her a red velvet cake.”

“And Xiaoge?”

Pangzi gestured to the flower shop section where the older man, sticking out slightly amongst the colours in his all black clothing, was concentrating on the bouquet in his hands.

“Xiao Hua, how dare you? Xiaoge is making the bride’s bouquet. You can’t ask him to stop now when he’s in the zone.”

Groaning, Xiao Hua allowed his upper body to slump onto the counter top. Feeling sorry for the younger man, Pangzi patted his shoulder, trying to offer some comfort.

“If you want the two of us, you know who to talk to.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At eighteen, Wu Xie realised he didn’t want to be involved in his family businesses, any of them. He was too soft. And seemingly a bad luck charm, he didn’t want to imagine what would happen to him in those tombs. And after a few months of thinking, the young heir realised he wanted to open a flower shop. Or a café. Or both.

And so Floral Note was born. A flower shop/café combination, it became very popular very quickly.

Not that Wu Xie abandoned the family business entirely. He was, after all the heir to his grandfather’s notebook, an encyclopaedia of Chinese history and its tombs and their traps. Wu Xie wouldn’t keep all that knowledge to himself, not when he knew it could help his friends. So, the notebook was hidden in a secret safe, in a secret compartment, in a secret room behind the café’s freezer. Here, his uncles and friends would meet to arrange their tomb raids and look through the notebook.

It was also here that Wu Xie met Pangzi and Xiaoge, who quickly became integral parts of the small business. Pangzi, having tasted Wu Xie’s attempts at cookies, quickly took over the kitchen, declaring that he couldn’t let such an innocent sweetheart go bankrupt just because he didn’t know the different between baking soda and baking powder. Xiaoge was a surprise. He spent a few days in the corner of the shop, eyes following Wu Xie, slightly creeping the young man out. He stepped in to help when Wu Xie got overwhelmed with two weddings and seemed to have a natural talent for flower arranging (and if Wu Xie found small cut flowers in his pockets or behind his ear, he wasn’t going to tell Xiaoge to stop. Especially when the meanings of those flowers changed from thank you to I love you).

Which led to today. When not in tombs, Pangzi and Xiaoge could be found in the Floral Note. Pangzi’s creations received rave reviews and everyone loved Xiaoge’s work. Honestly, Wu Xie wasn’t sure that he’d be half as successful without them. But it did lead to some problems.

“Wu Xie, you don’t understand. This is a massive tomb and the Wangs have shown an interest. Like a big interest. They’re swarming it.”

“And you want to go in there? Are you insane?”

“We have to! Whatever they’re this interested in can only mean trouble for the Nine Families. Please. I will go to my knees.”

Wu Xie was too nice for his own good. Placing the buttonhole arrangement on the counter, he looked over his friends. Xiao Hua stood before him, Xiaoge and Pangzi behind him, all three looking slightly desperate. He knew that keeping Xiaoge and Pangzi away from tombs for too long was a bad idea. They got…tetchy. Wait, something was wrong with this picture. Wu Xie counted again. There were three men in front of him. Trying not to laugh, Wu Xie cleared his throat.

“Xiao Hua, where’s your shadow?”

From the kitchen, the group heard something fall to floor followed by hushed swearing. Wu Xie broke, laughing as Pangzi ran screaming towards the kitchen, Xiao Hua following him.

“HEI YANJING!! IF YOU’VE TOUCHED THOSE CUPCAKES, I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY!!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Five minutes later, Heiye was deposited at one of the café’s tables, Xiao Hua tossing him some napkins to wipe away the icing around his mouth. Heiye finished his fourth cupcake, mourning the fact that he didn’t get a chance to taste test the cookies. Pangzi slammed a hand on the table.

“I never asked you to taste test anything! Hours of work gone. Tomorrow’s stock, gone. All because of your greedy, skinny ass!”

Wu Xie tugged Xiao Hua away from the table, trusting Xiaoge to stop any violence that might occur (possibly a bad idea. Xiaoge was just as likely to let Pangzi and Heiye fight just to see what would happen).

“On second thoughts, you can take them.”

“Seriously? Are you sure?”

Looking back at Pangzi, turning a dangerous shade of red as he shouted at Heiye, Wu Xie nodded.

“Yeah, I think Pangzi needs to blow some things up.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pangzi always felt better after a tomb. Baking and flowers were all well and good, but sometimes a man needed to punch something in the face, or blast a hole through a wall. Looking at Xiaoge though, he was glad that they never spent too long away from Floral Note. It was almost like the longer Xiaoge was separated from Wu Xie, the quieter and more withdrawn he became. He pulled up behind the shop, quickly climbing out of the car. He had left enough stock for the week and very clear instructions on what to do if they ran out. But Wu Xie and kitchens did not mix well. He unlocked the door into the kitchen, freezing when Xiaoge gripped his shoulder, pulling him back into the alley.

“Xiaoge, what’s wrong?”

“I smell blood.”

Pangzi knew what to do. Xiaoge entering the kitchen as Pangzi went to the boot of the car, taking his gun from his bag, checking the bullets. Nodding to the older man, Pangzi followed Xiaoge through into the shop. They split apart, Xiaoge going to the flower shop, Pangzi looking around the café. The place was destroyed, tables, chairs and vases knocked over, water on the floor, flowers trampled. He tried to avoid looking at the blood streaks on the wall and floor. Pangzi wouldn’t say it out loud, but he was scared. Something had happened to Wu Xie and it was bad.

“Pangzi.”

The sound of Xiaoge’s voice scared him more. Pangzi had never heard him sound like that before. He sounded scared, a noticeable shake in his voice. Approaching Xiaoge, Pangzi realised that the older man was trembling, whether from anger or fear he wasn’t sure.

“What is it?”

Xiaoge threw something at his chest, Pangzi scrambling to catch it. Dog tags, silver with a red phoenix engraved on the back along with an ID number. He knew what that meant.

“Wangs. Did they get the notebook?”

“No, I checked when you were getting your gun. But they have Wu Xie. Who knows the book off by heart.”

Pangzi swore, knowing that didn’t mean anything good. But looking at Xiaoge, tears on his face, jaw set, Pangzi knew that Wu Xie wouldn’t be with the Wangs for very long.

[yue-muffin]

Time Raiders (2016)

Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3

In my quest to consume the entirety of the DMBJ franchise available in English, I have decided to start with the non-canon movie because at least this one has an ending, unlike the train wreck that is Reboot/Chongqi’s pacing. I will probably be bitter about that for all eternity, but I digress. I heard good things about the movie from the bird app, and as I am a Pingxie shipper at heart, I decided to finally watch this one.

P A R T O N E

The cut-in animation to the title was gorgeous, I do so love the qilin in every adaptation. It’s particularly striking here with the gold outline and geometric, maze-like lines. It looks like the cards at the very beginning were being arranged in the image of this qilin.

My first reaction upon seeing white people in a dmbj adaptation is: oh no, the English, but I was pleasantly surprised to hear perfect English that matches the actor’s lips! What a miracle, haha. I remember The Lost Tomb 2 being the worst for how many lines had to be in English, sob.

These look so cool. I see we start off with a good old “seeking immortality” antagonist, and an obsessed collector who has dedicated his whole life to this apparently. As usual, he is a scumbag threatening the locals.

The old guy’s accented English is also better than TLT2, ha. The breathy/nasal quality is not at all uncommon. I don’t know what language the locals speak though.

Me, immediately: Zhang Qiling already??

I know he appears in rather early in TLT1, TLT2, and Reboot/Chongqi, but he’s so often mysteriously absent or stuck behind a gate (or in Reboot’s case, put on a bus) that I got excited, ok.

My favorite Zhang Qilings are the cold-looking pretty boy types in terms of my mental image of the character, but this one is also very easy on the eyes and as usual, unfazed in the face of danger coming at him with a knife. This is the only series in which I’m not bothered by the constant cast change between adaptations (unlike Ever Night), I suppose since it’s been this way from the start.

I’m interested in seeing how the backstories differ from canon. It’s actually rather interesting that this is pretty much an official AU, like that’s kind of wild as a concept. I’m used to the late 1990s/early 2000s anime adding new characters and changing plot points and endings everywhere, but Time Raiders takes it a step further.

Zhang Qiling being an ultra-competent badass who doesn’t even need a weapon to take the bad guys down never changes, no matter the universe. He steamrolls everyone, no questions asked.

Did he- he break the blade with his bare hands hahaha. Oh, yup, and a Zhang Qiling with a weapon is even more dangerous. I see those severed fingers. Such a good fight scene and we’re not even 5 minutes into the movie.

I love how he could have simply fired the arrow while he was still on the statue, then jumped down, but he had to be Extra and fire while he was jumping off haha.

It- the divine piece was right there?? By “beneath the statue” I would have thought it would at least be under it, not in a convenient little slot on the side of the altar area haha. So Zhang Qiling’s mission is to destroy the divine piece(s)? To, um, save the world apparently.

WHO ARE YOU? What an excellent question to ask a Zhang Qiling (and that staring into the mirror shot, too.)… I wonder if this one even knows - it’s possible he doesn’t have his signature amnesia here.

Wait- a gate? I think it’s in a cave or something in the novels, but gates have significance in DMBJ. The cinematography is really nice in these mountain shots. I know nothing about film, but I like the shots in the snowy mountains.

This Zhang Qiling knows and practices martial arts on screen! You would think he’d pull some moves normally, but in the drama-adaptations he tends to just beat people up as efficiently as possible. Sometimes with his sword. Other times he just fights ‘em. I have to admit Jing Boran looks excellent going through some forms. He nailed the force and power underlying every movement, then exploding outward with a strike. I do like the impression it leaves.

I, on the other hand, am an absolute noodle and look ridiculous when I do martial arts.

What in the world is happening in this flashback scene with the weird CGI qilin. Ah, it’s when he received his tattoo. That was super dramatic.

Wushanju is looking real edgy with the heavy iron gate on the interior, haha.

He is puzzling (ha!) over those cards so intensely you’d think it was a thousand piece puzzle instead haha. You’re almost there! Just a few more to finish the qilin!

Aw, is this our Wu Xie? Haha his facial hair is- hm. But I love his voice it’s so soft. Really fits that “Mr. Naive” vibe.

Is that. Is that the author of the series. I found out that he makes cameos in almost all (if not all of) the adaptations!

NO. ONLY I CAN FINISH THE PUZZLE. HANDS OFF BUDDY.

Why are there so many pigeons in here. Who let them inside.

A writer, who came to hear his story and turn it into a novel- HA yup it’s the author.

“This should be a story about me and him.”

Ahh I’m loving it already. DMBJ is the ultimate bromance story. Fair warning, I do ship Pingxie so my shipper goggles will be on throughout the movie. But even without shipping, you do have to admit the series is a bromance underneath all the mystery – between the Iron Triangle, between Wu Xie and Xiaoge.

This Wu Xie is a photographer and that is sort of adorable. Already there’s a theme emerging of needing to record events and telling stories. Interesting that he wants to turn his memories into a novel to record his experiences, because otherwise he’s afraid those memories might turn into a mere story in his own head. Wu Xie, that’s a worrying mindset.

Those ancient mask things always make me crack up, I don’t know why.

Ooh, background about Wu Xie’s birth into the Wu family. I’ve never read up to the part in the books where they go into his place in the family in detail. To be fair, his grandfather had three sons and only one of them had any kids – and Wu Xie is his parents’ only child. So, he becomes the only one who can really carry on the family legacy. Aw, I really like seeing his extended family present though! In the dramas we only ever get either his Second or Third Uncle, and he rarely ever mentions his parents even though they’re alive.

And there’s his namesake! The origin of his nickname, and the irony once the story gets into the Sha Hai timeline.

Wu Xie was a bit of a rascal as a kid, haha. To be fair he has a pretty sharp tongue in the novels and is mostly a pure cinnamon roll in the early dramas.

Little Wu Xie in a suit is so adorable. Nooo kid don’t go into locked up abandoned places. He’s already so adventurous haha. Seems that it’s not actually abandoned judging by all the lights on, but.

UH. MASKED MAN BEHIND YOU. I think he wants that item back. This is why you don’t go into abandoned places, kid. He definitely does not learn his lesson though. Also why are you still holding onto that thing, just drop it, I think he wants it back.

Haha he kept one of the coins.

WOAH. Every month someone in your family dies?? That’s uh- sort of traumatic. Also that would be a really good first line for a novel…Just saying. I do love the singing though.

Oh, the Nine Families exist in this universe too! They even give a quick explanation about the ranking system.

Oh yeah, I love how Wu Xie is such a nerd for all this knowledge of ancient texts and tombs. And YES HE FINALLY DOCUMENTS STUFF FOR ONCE.

Uncle Three looked dead for a moment there, scared the shit out of me too.

VAMPIRE MOTHS? Oh I hate bugs I would not be okay lol. WHOOPS. You guys are really good at reading ancient texts on the fly lol.

That’s the mask he has in the beginning of the film, isn’t it. NO DON’T TOUCH THINGS IN TOMBS. AHHH. So you just put it on your face?? Well that was a stupidly simple way to open the door. I’m guessing the creator didn’t care if anyone opened it.

This guy just severed his own arm, ok…and how many years later is his hand still clinging to it? UH. THIS IS WHY YOU DON’T TOUCH THINGS IN TOMBS. Then he proceeds to steal the box thing.

Ah the white dude again. I am so happy there is GOOD ENGLISH though haha.

Oh, hi Zhang Qiling. Just hanging out on a rooftop I see.

He looks so melancholy. Someone give him a hug! This adaptation makes him more human, less stoic robotic superhuman, I noticed. You rarely see him eat or drink anything in the other adaptations, but here he’s just chilling on a rooftop having some drinks haha. It’s ok. I love all the Zhang Qilings.

WHAT THE HELL, LIGHTNING? What the hell is this high tech machinery haha. Eight days? Coincidentally eight days after sitting in a tomb for how many years.

That is a very Extra bookcase to hold a book that apparently has ALL the secrets.

WOW that is a fancy notebook. It looks so beat up in the other versions haha. In this one, it even gets its own hidden shelf in a giant portable bookshelf!

The props for this franchise are so cool and detailed. I always wish they would show more of the creative process in the BTS, I’m such a nerd for that stuff. The Longest Day in Chang’an was pretty good at that, which is half of my enjoyment of that show haha!

I’m also still pleasantly surprised they bothered to incorporate other languages. I’m not sure what the Snake Lady and the old man in the beginning were speaking, but at least the English is good.

I can’t believe they worked in a steampunk chastity belt this movie went all out, huh. Also with these weirdly high tech structures and lightning and moving tomb structures.

And all the pieces start coming together! So that’s why it’s believed they hold the secret to immortality. What a steampunk-looking key.

Is that a writing desk??

Oh, they’re getting a team together to go tomb raiding! Ha, forget money! You may or may not end up dying on this adventure, so who cares about money, right.

He’s so cute standing there with his camera. Look at the little smile as he watches everything going on!

It’s a desk and a storage container?? Oh, there are ~qualifications~ to going on tomb raiding. Makes sense. That is the oddest looking sword.

Must appreciate Zhang Qiling’s fingers in every adaptation. They look very strong and steady here. Let’s not talk about the slooow trailing across the handle.

Wow did you really just throw sand in his face. Have we not learned not to mess with Zhang Qiling after he trounced that first guy who attacked him. I love the fight scenes so much after the bore-fest that was Reboot/Chongqi’s second half of Season 1.

Super pretty, but why did it cause him to stop and stare in the middle of the fight?

This is like a Final Fantasy sword haha. Also I think you should stop while you’re ahead, why did you think a table would stop this dude. (Hey, it’s Da Kui! He was in the novel but not TLT1.).

It’s HERE. Their first meeting. How did he know the coin was on that cord? It wasn’t visible, I don’t think. But uh. That was a hilarious move on his part, he is so Extra?? He just casually flicks the necklace off with his big-ass sword and it drops into his hand. Then casually goes “oh, here, you dropped this” as if he wasn’t the one responsible for it coming off in the first place!!

HERE IT COMES. The unnecessarily long eye contact. Pingxie in every adaptation needs a Staring Into Your Eyes scene.

Real smooth.

Ahh this Wu Xie is such a cutie. He’s like a puppy.

WHAT. Third Uncle, I can’t believe you let him tag along so easily haha. In the beginning he was scolding Wu Xie to never get involved in tomb business, then what happens? They’re going tomb raiding!!

Next Up: to the tomb we go! This can’t end badly or anything what are you talking about.

[mejomonster]

oh and lets not forget pangzi in the cave as they waited for xiaoge to come out. drawing out how long until they had to leave to the very edge of survivable. just because he literally Knew wu xie would rather die than leave that place without xiaoge. and pangzi wasn’t quite ready to die for it too, probably would have ultimately done anything to get tianzhen out of there alive, but he was ready to put up with more chance of suffering/death later if it meant giving wu xie as much time as possible to wait for xiaoge...

pangzi knows wu xie so well. 

[mejomonster]

one thing i really liked about tlt2 2 ep 1? is to no surprise just how much i missed this pangzi actor. truly my favorite (the lost tomb reboot/tomb of the sea being my second favorite). not just because the actor does SO much with the lines and scenes 

because he does, he does SO much, they’re always comedic AND capable, and loving and compassionate, and skilled and shady and talented and experienced. he presents a pangzi who is as capable as the best tomb raiders out there, as skilled as xiaoge in many ways Without any superpowers to help him, who fools people with friendliness and ‘fake foolishness’ they buy into, who fools/soothes wu xie with friendly jokes and trying to give levity to this man who won’t be finding it from much else in this world he’s decided to join, who genuinely cares for and loves wu xie so much because wu xie was willing to just trust him. that’s all - all wu xie did was hope he lives, assume he’s not shady to him, and so pangzi (even if sometimes at that point he IS shady to wu xie) just wants to meet him there and prove he Can be the kind of good reliable compassionate person wu xie should care about. he is ridiculously capable and always acting and like god do i love him. tlt2 pangzi has so much in common with zhao yunlan as far as acting foolish/casual while truly being intensely competent (does that make shen wei xiaoge?)

but i just also realized? this pangzi really brings the pangxie game to the show lol! be it platonic or a ship, just there’s so much more of that dynamic whenever my fave pangzi gets the spotlight. i’m not sure how much is acting choice combined with a writing for pangzi i REALLY prefer. but the actor adds SO much to every scene even ones that could’ve just been comedic, i’m inclined to think a decent amount of it is the actor making things richer.

like ep 1 the man is like ‘so wu xie we’re getting married’ and yes its as usual 1 part just to add levity. because that’s what pangzi does. he says light things to make wu xie feel safe, to make wu xie feel he’s with a friend. to make wu xie feel like he’s safe - the dangerous competent tomb raider thinks its okay and safe to joke, so they must be okay to joke and laugh and smile and frown. the danger must be over. its also pangzi trying as usual to get wu xie to trust him and open up to him more - i joke with you, i’m a friend, i think we might as well be married, so ‘open up to me.’ which is very in line with how pangzi tends to act friendly (or foolish) to get what he wants a lot of the time (and oh don’t him and xiao hua have a lot in common when it comes to putting on acts after all mm maybe wu xie being friends with xiao hua and trusting him growing up rubbed off on the other kind of men wu xie easily trusts - good thing pangzi genuinely Does have wu xie’s best interests at heart generally). in ep 1 pangzi just wants wu xie to calm down, be rational, do things safely. he thinks wu xie is needlessly charging into danger (that he probably can’t handle) for san shu. and pangzi wants wu xie to just stop and vent and TELL pangzi what he’s thinking and worrying and hoping and wanting. and if that fails, he wants wu xie to lean on him and bring him along so he can do his best to keep wu xie alive through it. because well. show canon, by this point pangzi does see them as family - or at least close friends. and regardless, pangzi found this wonderful boy who is too innocent and naive for this crap life - who can joke with him and see him as a person instead of an untrustworthy enemy. pangzi wants to hold onto that, keep that safe, keep having such a wonderful thing in his life. so he can’t just let his first real genuine friend in such a long time get his ass killed. 

its just... so much this specific tlt2 pangzi does? is so infused with love and care and compassion for his friends. he’s so clearly dangerous, his act is definitely not ‘safe’ if the person he was against was xiao hua or san shu or some enemy tomb raider (who he’s fully capable of tricking, shooting, surviving against). but with wu xie, that tendency to put an act on is based on how much he loves wu xie. and just wants wu xie to feel safe, feel normal. every time pangzi acts foolish its like - yes, he is kind of silly sometimes. but it’s because being with wu xie makes him feel Safe to genuinely let go and joke a little, to really be himself in small moments. and also its because he wants so badly to give wu xie that safe friendliness and warmth, make wu xie feel there’s a safe haven right there for him, wherever they’re together. something san shu never gives, something xiaoge doesn’t quite know how to yet (or even how much it might help - because wu xie Does give that to him just by being himself). something so many tomb raiders don’t even bother much with because ‘they should know its dangerous, they should know no one is safe or trustworthy, that they could die at any time.’ but pangzi wants to give wu xie more than that - because wu xie does think people should be safe, that he should be trustworthy, that people should be protected. and pangzi knows how naive that is to hope for even for a moment. but with wu xie around, he WANTS that to be his life. he wants to believe that. so he wants to create a relationship with wu xie where they can feel like that, as long as they’re together - that they CAN trust each other, that they are protecting each other, that together they WILL be okay. 

i just love pangzi so much. i loved and missed THIS depiction of pangzi so much (which tots/tltr pangzi also does incredibly well, and ultimate note pangzi eventually settles into). this pangzi who reads to me as a capable dangerous tomb raider putting on acts zhao yunlan would be impressed by, who is so motivated by love and care when he connects to wu xie. 

pangzi in episode 1 pulled my heartstrings tight man. he watches over wu xie and takes care of him in a way wu xie’s family never bothered, listens to and notices wu xie’s cues and behaviors so wisely (because he’s a great people reader) and knows wu xie won’t stop once he sets off on something. xiao hua is concerned too. but pangzi just met wu xie maybe a couple years ago - already sold a house for this boy (last tlt2 season), already had a breakdown at the chance wu xie was dead (last tlt2 season), already put up with xiaoge’s bitchy ass last season to go find wu xie (and let xiaoge know he CAN’T die because pangzi doesn’t want to watch wu xie hurt like that), already decided to keep this ray of sunshine in is life he was gonna be more loving and compassionate than anyone else wu xie knows. and tlt2 season 2 starts... and wu xie’s naivety is fracturing. his uncle might be a killer, left wu xie’s friends to die, left wu xie to die. his uncle who ‘loved him most’ growing up and gave him the most attention, encouraged his interests and indulged him. that wonderful uncle he glorified as the person in his family who most doted on him and cared what he wanted, is also this monster who told him he might as well die. and wu xie can’t cope with it, and Needs to find the bastard again and demand answers (not that they will ever be good ones). And pangzi has to see this wonderful boy he’s met breaking, and breaking awful and violent and refusing to just accept the reality of how fucked up things are, and decides no matter what he’s going to be at wu xie’s side for this. he can’t let wu xie do this alone. 

just... pangzi loves wu xie so much...

(and yes i did keep ranting in the tags about pangzi...)

[kolachess]

DMBJ 2010 Nangongling Interview Translated

I’ve finally (poorly) translated the infamous Nangongling interview with Nanpai Sanshu (aka Xu Lei, author of DMBJ)! 

This is where that famous quote, ‘My lifetime, in exchange for you a decade of innocence and purity’ comes from. More on that here.

Interview Context: First off, in case you don’t already know, NPSS started DMBJ off as a fanfiction. And more on that here. Hence, his style of engagement with fans will be much more direct and why he’s very... knowing of the fandom world. And why the interview does not hesitate to ask about pingxie.

This interview seems to have been conducted somewhere on the internet in 2010 or nearing it. Although I couldn’t find more confirmation on its ‘authenticity’ so to speak, I also haven’t seen anything to the contrary that this might be made up. (Chinese internet is a strange, strange place...)

Here’s the version I’m basing this off of.

Translation Context:

Ok first, I’m a native Chinese speaker, but grew up in the US and not fluent in reading / writing. I am not at all familiar with a lot of idioms, let alone internet slang and pop culture references (of which there are a lot in this interiew), so there will be a lot of guessing. Anyone who knows better, free free to point it out.

Text Legend:

Parenthesis indicate actions / reactions. E.g. (smiles awkwardly)

[TN: ...] are my notes

[??? some words ???] indicate major uncertainty in translations

== or =w= and such symbols are emojis from the interviewer

Original text sometimes had random forward slashes in between what seems should be one word / term. My guess is it might be to skirt censorship?

Names Context:

They use a lot of different ways to refer to the various characters and NPSS

The interviewer calls NPSS ‘Your Majesty’ or ‘Sanshu’ a lot. But Sanshu can also refer to Wu Sanxing... so it gets confusing a bit.

Zhang Qiling can be anything from Menyouping to Pingzi to Lao Meng to Meng... just... anytime there’s ‘Meng’ or ‘Ping’ or ‘Zhang’ it’s safe to assume they’re referring to ZQL.

Wu Xie is often just Wu Xie or Tianzhen

Nangongling is the name of the interviewer

Interviewer:

Interviewer: Your Majesty, come interview. After this, we’ve got to sleep.

NPSS: OK. Let’s go. Be gentle.

Interviewer: Oh Your Majesty, you’re so shy.

※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※

Interviewer: If we may ask Sanshu, is DMBJ ultimately a tragic or happy ending?

NPSS: For some, a tragedy. For some, a regular drama. For some, a comedy. For some, an absurdity.

Interviewer: That’s no different from not answering! ==

NPSS: But that’s the correct answer.

※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※

Interviewer: What’s the relationship between Tianzhen and ‘It’? Your Majesty, care to give a spoiler? ==

NPSS: No relationship. [TN: ‘No relationship’ and ‘No problem’ are the same phrase, hence the subsequent answer.]

Interviewer: Then go ahead and tell us. =w=

NPSS: No relationship.

Interviewer: … No relationship?

NPSS: Yup. No relationship.

Interviewer: … ==

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Interviewer: If we may ask Sanshu about the plan for DMBJ, when might you finish it?

NPSS: 2010.

NPSS: The problem is…

Interviewer: What?

NPSS: There is an unexpected situation.

Interviewer: Don’t give us cliffhanger sentences. Just tell us. ==

NPSS: Maybe [??? Something about being possessed ???]. I might work on it till 2050.

Interviewer: Hey!

NPSS: It’s great.

Interviewer: Might as well make it a Gundam series. [TN: Gundam is referring to the Japanese anime series. I guess they’re making a joke about how he should turn it into a never ending universe / entire franchise.]

NPSS: Conan never grows up. Wu Xie will never get old either. [TN: Conan is referring to Detective Conan, another Japanese anime series.]

NPSS: Even when you all become old, Wu Xie in the book will still be pursuing the answer to all the mysteries.

Interviewer: And if it’s with Lao Meng forever mutually loving and caring, then we have no objections.

NPSS: Fifty years, Golden Wedding  [TN: Think he’s referring to Golden Wedding as the 50th anniversary].

Interviewer: Yes, yes. Don’t know if there will be a son. (Tea) (Silence) [TN: I guess the actions indicate ‘sipping tea awkwardly in silence’]

Interviewer: Alright, His Majesty has become shy. Let’s continue onto the next question.

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Interviewer: If we may ask what the Menyouping’s ending will be? Will he find his memories? Continue to live on? Your Majesty can’t because of Classmate 370 [TN: Rumors are this is NPSS’s classmate? Potential prototype for ZQL? See ref.] once scorned your [??? finger ???], you end up holding a grudge?

NPSS: Whether or not you can ‘fujoshi’ for 50 years is uncertain. [TN: Word is ‘fu’, which literal = ‘rotten’; but refers to fujoshi. AKA he’s questioning how long they’ll ship pingxie for.]

Interviewer: No worries. In the future, there will appear a lot of Li Yinhe grannies. [TN: Seems to refer to this LGBTQ activist.]

NPSS: Hands / feet have not fallen off, OK? [TN: I’m not sure what this is referring to lol. Maybe some play on the rotten nature of fujoshi.]

Interviewer: Hands / feet… the whole body?

NPSS: The meaning of ‘entirely not fallen off’ is ‘entirely not fallen off’. [TN: Idk I’m lost...]

Interviewer: … ==

Interviewer: Your Majesty, your resentment for 370 is too deep…

NPSS: Menyouping’s ending will definitely surprise you all. It’s definitely not something that can be conceptually considered at all.

Interviewer: Could it be that he really will be mutually loving and caring with Tianzhen? == It’s not in concept…

NPSS: Hn. That’s a nice thought. [TN: Tone reads a little like ‘ha, as if’.]

NPSS: Like, turn him into a woman or something. Or is it Wu Xie who turns into a woman?

NPSS: “Actually, I’m a flat-chested Mary Sue.” [TN: Lol, yes. They refer to Mary Sue omg.]

Interviewer: … hey now… == Speaking of Mary Sues, after Yun Cai is it Xiu Xiu? Your Majesty, you wouldn’t gift Yun Cai to Lao Meng, and Xiu Xiu to Wu Xie, right? ==

NPSS: Maybe I’ll write Lily stories. [TN: I think Lily stories refers to femslash / stories between two females.]

NPSS: Don’t underestimate my pervertedness.

Interviewer: I’ve never underestimated it… (serious)

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Interviewer: If we may ask what Sanshu’s current weight is? Are you losing weight? Hahahah (Hands akimbo)

NPSS: Now it’s probably a little less than 200 jin. [TN: ~220 pounds.] I’m always in the middle of losing weight, but fat really likes me.

Interviewer: Your Majesty, you should continue to make effort to cosplay Pangzi.

NPSS: I think I will exceed Pangzi’s category soon, cosplay a huge monster instead.

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Interviewer: When will the DMBJ movie be released? Who will play Pingzi? To be honest, I don't want to watch. ==

NPSS: Probably around 2015. I don’t know. Hope it’s not [??? black people ???]. [TN: Yeah that’s what it says, but idk if it’s a reference to type of personalities or it actually is referring to skin color. Wouldn’t surprise me if it were a racist remark. China, sigh.]

Interviewer: Could it be there really will be a movie?

NPSS: Probably.

Interviewer: In America?

NPSS: I can’t say I understand / know Hollywood’s situation.

Interviewer: So it’s America… (Tears running) Too tragic!

NPSS: Hei Xiaoge [TN: Lol I think he’s saying a black young lad] is also not bad.

Interviewer: No! No! No!

NPSS: A-ning has already been designated the female lead by a foreign scriptwriter.

Interviewer: Oooh ~~~ We don’t want to see ghosts ~~~ [TN: Idk what this expression is…]

NPSS: Little D might be able to accept. [TN: Idk who Little D is… might just be a slang way of writing ‘little brother’, in which case, I still don’t know if that’s referring to himself or someone else.]

Interviewer: I guess he will squeak along with me. [TN: Again… I’m lost.] Nope cannot anymore. Next question.

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Interviewer: Will there be romance?

NPSS: [??? Eloquent love ???] will have porn scenes.

Interviewer: … who and who?

NPSS: Not sure yet. One party should not be human.

Interviewer: Heavy tastes, Your Majesty.

NPSS: Tentacles.

Interviewer: …… Your Majesty, are you playing some XXOO games recently? [TN: I’m just gonna assume some hentai shit here.]

NPSS: Nope. Haven’t played in a long time. Got any good suggestions?

Interviewer: [??? The imperial doctor has ghost glasses ???] [TN: Guess it’s the title?] Try it (rubs hands).

NPSS: I’m currently still holding out strong.

Interviewer: Gee… what a pity.

NPSS: You can train your boyfriend.

Interviewer: He’s already very calm.

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Interviewer: Pingzi is so good to Wu Xie, any particular reason? I mean deep underlying reason? For example, knowing the truth about Wu Xie’s life / existence or something. Or being entrusted by Wu Xie’s family or something. Or he thinks he’s brought Wu Xie harm and wants to redeem himself or something.

NPSS: Just doesn’t want to disturb.

Interviewer: Huh? What?

NPSS: Don’t want to disturb.

Interviewer: Disturb what?

NPSS: Tianzhen Wu Xie [TN: Remember, this means ‘innocent, naive, and pure’]. The prompt is very deep now. [TN: Sounds like he’s saying he’s given a deep hint now.]

Interviewer: Oh (Actually someone who doesn’t really understand). [TN: GLAD I’M NOT ALONE! IT’S NOT A TRANSLATION ISSUE!]

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Interviewer: Are there new Lunar New Year Celebratory Extras this year? [TN: NPSS writes occasional extras, and often will publish on special occasions like Lunar New Year.]

NPSS: 2010’s publishing work was too heavy. Can’t celebrate. I even wrote the outline already.

Interviewer: That’s such a pity. What about Tibetan Sea Flower. I’m still waiting for the lama that has JQ with Lao Meng. [TN: They use the term JQ here… seems like slang for something like bromance.]

NPSS: Ah little living Buddha… probably can’t write. [TN: Yeah idk what that really means…] Due to religious issues, living Buddha’s chrysanthemum is very sensitive. Huge crawling creatures will come and bombard. [TN: IDK BUT CHRYSANTHEMUMS ARE OFTEN EUPHEMISMS FOR THE ANUS AND GAY BUTT SEX SO IDK.]

Interviewer: Hey… ==

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Interviewer: Qinling Sacred Tree arc was too mysterious. Will Sanshu later be connected to the Sacred Tree? If so, how will you do it? I think DMBJ is not as thrilling / exciting as before. Can you still return to that previous style?

NPSS: There are no plans at present to connect Qinling. I need to settle Meng first. The core of what’s being written is his business. The excitement of DMBJ is not found in the novel but in the heart of the reader. The reader will upgrade / improve while reading.

Interviewer: Is that so… (Eats late night food) [TN: Idk what this expression means.]

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Interviewer: Will you still publish new books and dig new plot holes? == Besides this official vest of Nanpai Sanshu, do you have anything else? Like diving party? == [TN: Yeah idk what that means…]

NPSS: Doesn’t returning to the original style of writing offer you some thrilling / excitement? Your heart has already upgraded, it’s just that the novel is still like that.

Interviewer: Heart! ==||| [TN: Yes, this is another face lol]

NPSS: There’s still some more. Like Nangongling. [TN: Name of the interviewer, but I have no idea what this means.]

Interviewer: The watch drags me underwater. [TN: I got nothing *shrugs*.]

NPSS: Actually are we answering our own questions?

Interviewer: Haha, fun right?

NPSS: Indeed. Could it be a split personality? Never thought my hidden personality is a Fujoshi. Tragedy.

Interviewer: Hey I didn’t say my hidden personality was a perverted uncle yet. (Two bored idiots stare in silence for a few seconds) 

Interviewer: Enough. Next.

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Interviewer: Pingzi’s age… is it ‘uncle’ or ‘grandpa’? Anyway, I know it’s not ‘brother’. [TN: They’re referring to which generation basically.]

NPSS: Taizu Grandfather [TN: Basically hella old… great-great-great-great-great-grandfather?]

Interviewer: Wow… paleontology relic?

NPSS: Age must be in the triple digits.

Interviewer: Old monster! I like it! Just afraid that next to Tianzhen, he seems younger (talking to self)

NPSS: Tianzhen is even older. Quadruple digits.

Interviewer: Really is younger? ==

NPSS: They all end up in the museum display.

Interviewer: Does it cost anything to visit? Museums are now free / open to visit.

NPSS: After hour events charge fees. There are special programs, but the TV station will not allow them to be broadcasted.

Interviewer: Strip tease / dancing?

NPSS: No. It’s the old monster [TN: Probably referring to ZQL]  performing Xiangsheng [TN: Some Chinese duo comedy schtick]. Xie Ling [TN: I think this is Wu Xie + Zhang Qiling?] social / not-famous Xiangsheng actors.

Interviewer: Looks like it will be Two-Person Turn Opera [TN: Idk if there is an English term for this… but another type of skit it seems.]

NPSS: Wear the dancing shoes. [TN: I think it’s just this?]

Interviewer: … It’s so cold… Your Majesty…

NPSS: Zhang Wenling, Wu Wenxie [TN: Lol I guess this would be their comedy stage names. It’s extra / intentionally stupid because all he did was insert ‘wen’ which means ‘literature’.]

Interviewer: Enough… Don’t worry about this anymore. I’m gonna move onto the next question.

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Interviewer: Is Wu Xie the most tragic character in the entire novel? Is it inevitable that, between him and Pingzi, one of them will have to die in the end?

NPSS: Wu Xie’s fate as the most tragic is a set tragedy, but Lao Zhang doesn’t have it easy either.

Interviewer: And then?

NPSS: Delayed the inevitable tragedy.

Interviewer: And then they encountered tragedy together?

NPSS: Using [his] own lifetime to exchange you another decade of innocence and purity.

Interviewer: … (wailing) (too stunned) Lao Meng [??? became the Virgin Mary???] (smashes wall)

NPSS: I also want to get a cult.

Interviewer: Does Lao Meng really not have a crush on Tianzhen? It can’t continue like this. DMBJ is still a serious / proper drama after all.

NPSS: Nah. It’s serious / proper.

Interviewer: But what you said is crooked.

NPSS: Alright. Then let’s put it this way.

Interviewer: How?

NPSS: Comrade Zhang Qiling sacrificed his own time to save and prevent the disillusionment of a youth who was about to go astray. [TN: Yeah… not too sure about the implications of this.]

Interviewer: …. Your Majesty, you [??? use soulmates ???] [TN: I’m really not sure about this… context and definitions I found seems to indicate it’s a soulmate like thing, but also used kind of queerbaity?]

NPSS: I’ve been working real closely with soulmate recently.

Interviewer: We can tell. Next question. Best leave some room for free thought.

NPSS: It’d be fine if you just don’t post it.

Interviewer: This is iron proof of JQ! [TN: Again, some internet slang for bromance / malexmale CPs or something.]

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Interviewer: Are all the incomprehensible things that happened so far man-made? Or will it be explained by the supernatural?

NPSS: There’s nothing incomprehensible.

Interviewer: Probably in reference to Qinling.

NPSS: Oh. Doesn’t that count as a spoiler?

Interviewer: … then let’s skip again. Actually, I thought you already forgot about Qinling.

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Interviewer: What is Pangzi’s little secret?

NPSS: Xiao Pang’s [TN: Little Fat’s] tragic past.

Interviewer: What… Pangzi is also quite tragic.

NPSS: Probably a ‘fought with his best friend over a woman and was hurt very badly’ kind of relationship.  Pangzi had a very simple but tragic love.

Interviewer: Sad…. == You really can’t tell…

NPSS: A woman he promised to take care of for a lifetime and a brother he can’t help but save.

Interviewer: Pangzi has sublimed (victory fist] [TN: I assume ‘sublime’, which literally means converting from solid directly to gas, is just representative of a massive promotion or rise into awesomeness.]

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Interviewer: I’m always thinking of Ershu’s mysterious air. Does he know a lot of things that others don’t? I also want to know what Wu Xie’s dad does.

NPSS: [??? Location scouting ???]

Interviewer: Ershu?

NPSS: He knows some.

Interviewer: Then what about his dad.

NPSS: Location scouting. Totally innocent. Just like Jesus’s old man.

Interviewer: What kind analogy is that… == Next.

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Interviewer: Hey Sanshu, on Dec 9, 2009 at 02:58 in the morning I dreamt of you. Did you dream of me? …. == Your Majesty, your fans [TN: Yeah idk.]

NPSS: That night I seem to have pulled an all-nighter. I wouldn’t mind dreaming again tonight.

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Interviewer: Will Pingzi eventually return to being a normal human? Live on from the age of 18? Has he had a lover / children before? Yun Cai? Is Pangzi the boss or the person coming to supervise the boss (Tianzhen)?

Interviewer: Lao Meng… I’ve long since been speechless towards him. By the way, was he always this kind of stone in the latrine? [TN: I guess a saying about how he’s stuffy and expressionless per usual.]

NPSS: No. It used to be really bad.

Interviewer: …How bad…

NPSS: Like a Tibetan horse. [TN: Lol this is the literal translation but when I Googled it, Kurama from Yu Yu Hakusho came up and hahaha I guess it kind of makes sense as an analogy?]

Interviewer: Your Majesty, your definition of really bad is Kurama’s level huh…= =|| So he wasn’t born latrine stone… [TN: Ok, so background on Kurama - an infamous fox demon thief escaped into the body of a newborn child because his spirit was weakened after being hunted, and so he cohabits the body with this boy… I’m not entirely sure of the reference jousting here.]

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Interviewer: What happens to Pangzi in the end?

NPSS: Dies of old age.

Interviewer: How mundane!

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Interviewer: We want to know when DMBJ 7 will be finished?

NPSS: 3/15-20 complete.

Interviewer: (Recommends to everyone not to believe… ==)

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Interviewer: Sanshu, will someone die at the end of DMBJ? (Alright I only care about MengMeng and Tianzhen and believe Pangzi will definitely not be killed off). Also, just how many volumes will there be?

Interviewer: How many die, I also want to know. [TN: Lol they also use the counter word not for humans, but… something else?].

NPSS: There will be someone half-dead. Because it’s a grave-robbing novel, dying completely will never happen. A-ning died and still comes around often, right? [TN: Lol I’m not entirely sure what this is in reference to… first part he’s making a joke that people can become zombies, but second part… I don’t really recall A-ning coming back? Unless he means in mentions? Then again I’m still making my way through the novels.] Just that you go from hero to villain. I still haven’t decided how many to kill off. Anyways for the last volume, with the exception of Wu Xie, [??? anyone can be killed ???].

Interviewer:  …Just kill everyone why don’t you; it’s easier. (self-destruct) ==

※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※

Interviewer: May we ask Sanshu, will Pingzi have emotional drama in the future?

NPSS: No. No time / effort for that, and communication skills are limited.

Interviewer: Ahaha….

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Interviewer: Normally, will Sanshu come check out our Tieba? [TN: Kind of like Chinese reddit I believe?] Do you know the Warm Fox? [TN: I did a quick search, seems like a big fandom name that interprets a lot of the DMBJ stuff.]

NPSS: Don’t know.

Interviewer: As expected…

NPSS: It’s your husband?

Interviewer: Hey don’t involve me in everything. (Flips table)

※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※

Interviewer: Just out of personal interest… I really want to know if Xie Lianhuan likes Wenjin?

NPSS: Uh, yes. Very much so.

Interviewer: Then what about Wu Sanxing?

NPSS: Also likes her.

Interviewer: So it turns out to be a crime of passion… (awakened)

※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※

Interviewer: Is Yun Cai just an inconsequential character? Those Huo family Forbidden Ladies won’t have some sort of emotional development with Pingxie, right? [TN: It does say Huo family Forbidden Ladies… I guess they might be referring to Huo Xiu Xiu, but not sure why there’s multiple. Also, recall that the Forbidden Lady is that tomb creature.]

NPSS: Huo family really did become Forbidden Lady professional household [TN: Maybe like a ‘firm’?]. Yun Cai’s ending is also quite tragic.

Interviewer: Indeed. If transmigrating, don’t transmigrate into DMBJ. [TN: Transmigrate is the common c-drama trope where someone in modern times / average suddenly wakes up in the body of some one in the past or something.] Female beings all have no good outcome.

NPSS: If you’ve already died once, then there’s no need to be afraid.

Interviewer: Oh yeah, will that pink-shirt show face again? (Xlaugh) [TN: Idk this expression, but I think pink-shirt is referring to Xiaohua.]

NPSS: Yes. [??? Young Lord of Solutions ???] Grave-Robbing Prince.

Interviewer: Ahhhhh~~great~~~ >///<~~ The Old Nine Gates [??? Admirals ???], right? … Then Xiao Hei [TN: Hei Xiazi / Hei Yanjing] also has a role?

NPSS: Yup.

Interviewer: The descendants of the Old Nine Gates [??? Admirals ???] are nine golden men? =w=

NPSS: One isn’t. 8 men. 1 woman.

Interviewer: The female is Huo family Forbidden Lady, right?

NPSS: Yup. Counting her.

Interviewer: So that means Tianzhen still has 7 in his harem… Damn, catching up to Cracked Pot’s bunch of shiny guardians. [TN: Idk what that is in reference to.]

NPSS: Cracked Pot? What’s that? [TN: Yay I’m not the only one!]

Interviewer: Cough Cough. Your Majesty, you don’t need to know.

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Interviewer: Will Sanshu come to Nanning for an autograph session?

NPSS: Nanning? Need a Nanning bookstore to invite me.

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Interviewer: If we may ask Lao San [TN: Still referring to NPSS], from Wu Xie’s (or Pangzi’s) perspective, where does Menyouping stand? Just a ‘person who stands on our side’? [TN: Refers to when ZQL told them he was a person on their side.]

NPSS: Now it should be like a son’s role / part.

Interviewer: What? Son? ==

NPSS: A very promising son.

Interviewer: Is Wu Xie having the ‘My son has grown up’ old mother mentality?

NPSS: Not really. More like, my son has bad memory or something.

Interviewer: Wu Xie he is indeed [??? person wife ???] [TN: Uh... term used was 人\妻 which when Googled had the first link to pornhub lol. But I think the slang used is actually this.]

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Interviewer: In Sanshu’s day to day, how often does you use code words? Or is it scrunching your feet and thinking on it for a month or two before coming up with something? [TN: I think they’re referring to Sanshu as in NPSS and not Wu Sanxing Sanshu?]

NPSS: It’s usually simultaneously [??? buckling ???] and eating and typing.

Interviewer: Does it taste good?

NPSS: Often get stomachaches.

Interviewer: …Very toxic huh…

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Interviewer: Can you fill the bit plothole of Sanshu’s storytelling? Your Majesty, do you have any filled pits? == (Hides face)

NPSS: I promised my father I would fill them before he turns 70. 

NPSS: [??? New Year’s Eve pieces ???]

Interviewer: How old is his esteemed Majesty’s father?

NPSS: 60.

Interviewer: …. (speechless)

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Interviewer: What kind of person is Wu Xie’s mother?

NPSS: Wu Xie’s mother is probably a strong / great woman.

Interviewer: I think so too.

NPSS: Beautiful but strict and fierce, which is why Dad is rather pathetic / a good-for-nothing.

Interviewer: Queens are great. Queens usually marry good-for-nothings. [TN: The ‘queen’ here is literally ‘female king’, so more implies a female ruler.] ==

Interviewer: In the end, did Wu Xie inherit his dad’s genes?

NPSS: Wu Xie also has a very dark personality.

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NPSS: I’m nearly at my limit…

Interviewer: Same here… (sleepy)

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Interviewer: If we may ask Sanshu, if excluding psychological factors, in terms of human nature, do you think Pingxie is suitable?

NPSS: I think, the two of them together. Neither can earn money. Parents on both side would not agree.

Interviewer: Can it not be one steals and the other sells stolen goods?

NPSS: At the very least, Wu Xie needs to get admitted to a civil service position. [TN: These are stable job positions lol]

Interviewer: Looks like Lao Meng eats soft rice! [TN: A saying that refers to men who lives off of women lol. Basically that the woman supports the man instead of the expected vice versa.]

NPSS: And also will need to buy a house in Hangzhou.

Interviewer: … Too realistic… == [TN: Lol no joke this is exactly how couples get ‘permission’ to marry each other by the families… Hangzhou housing prices are not cheap either. I was born there and visit often… those prices have gone uuuuuuup.]

(And the two are dozing off)

NPSS: Let’s end it. I can’t hold on anymore.

Interviewer: Ok…

(The physically / mentally exhausted two rolled off to sleep, interview unfinished… ==)

~ End Interview

Whew that was a long ride. NPSS is such a troll lol... 😅I don’t know nearly enough Chinese slang / internet speak to parse this properly, but the general gist is there.

[morkofday]

for the character ask...OUR FAV BOY LIU SANG

(*´∇｀*)/💖

i had to come answer this one bc!! my son!!!! aaaaaaahhhh!!!!!! so thank you sob now i can talk about my second sour grape boy,,, wait. ok well, hissy kitten  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  spot the difference (you can’t)

give me a character

(placing this one under a cut too bc oh boy. i have things to say about liu sang)

How I feel about this character

Good lord. I feel so many ways about Liu Sang. He is absolutely amazing but he also just drives me insane every day. No other character has ever given me such headaches, he must be proud. Finally someone suffers as much as him (because I bet those ears cause him a permanent migraine). I feel sorry for him. I’ll take this pain gladly if it helps him in any way. 

But well. As simply as with Jiang Cheng, I do love Liu Sang. I shouldn’t really be surprised (at this point) that I fell in love with him but back when I was watching Reboot, he hit me like a truck. Which,,, he probably drove that truck himself, judging from the way he was handling the car chase with Jiang Zisuan. Just ruthlessly drove me over. I never stood a chance, not in front of that arrogance and stubbornness and enormous puppy eyes. 

And with all of himself, good and bad, he makes me feel so many things. One of those, probably the strongest one, is protectiveness. He needs someone to protect him from himself because he has a nasty self-destruction streak going. Boy has not known love since he was born. He has gone through way too much to try handle it alone. I can’t even remember how old he is supposed to be in Reboot (maybe 29?), but that is way too many years of fighting a battle he was never supposed to win. But he pulled through. Cynical and prickly and absolutely terrified of any human contact but he fucking pulled through. I want to fight some battles for him now. He deserves to rest. He deserves some peace and quiet and unconditional care. I want to tell him that he doesn’t deserve all the pain he’s going through, all the pain he himself is putting his body through because he thinks he can only be used as a punching bag. I want to tell him he deserves friends. I want to tell him that it’s okay to trust people again. I want to... just protect him. And maybe this is why – because of all this fragile mess I’ve discovered from inside of him while trying to figure out who he is – I struggle so much with writing him. I feel like I’m bringing up things no one is supposed to see. I feel like I’m pulling out words from him like teeth. But at the same time, I know he’s desperate to tell these things. 

So I struggle because I love him. Willingly. But oh boy does he annoy me sometimes, under all that protectiveness and fondness I have for him.  

All the people I ship romantically with this character

I am quite sure at this point that I don’t really ship Liu Sang with anyone. No one clicks with him in my head so well that I could feel myself slipping into the proper shipping territory. But I haven’t minded any of the ships I’ve seen for him, not Pingxiesang (which makes me super soft) or him with Kanjian (which is so sweet) or even @kholran’s pool noodle Risang (which is very interesting and I will read your fic, friend, when I am out of my Pingxie pit! I just need to feed these beasts first). I am mostly just very intrigued by all these ships people come up with because it really plays to my wish to just explore his dynamic with every other character that is available for him. 

But to put it simply: Not one perfect match exists for him yet in my head. Let’s give boy some time to figure out freindships first. 

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Well, this one I love because! This is what he is all about for me, somehow. So I will mention three: Xiaoge, Bai Haotian, and Pangzi. 

First, like I already mentioned in my Xiaoge answer, I adore Liu Sang’s dynamic with his ouxiang. They are both so damn awkward. I feel like I’m following a train wreck happening in slow motion any time I see them interact but instead of death and flames and screeching metal, it’s. surprisingly soft and sweet? They are both very tentative when it comes to people so they somehow get each other? Even if Liu Sang is a mess when it comes to Xiaoge which I totally get because I have once in my life met a person I consider a celebrity and who I look up to a lot and I was just shaking. And giggling. And acting dumbly. So I don’t blame Liu Sang for any of that; I’m actually quite proud that he’s keeping his cool so well and despite the rough start, manages to be a huge asset to his ouxiang. I am so happy that he gets to have this budding friendship with Xiaoge because they both need it.

Then! Bai Haotian. I’ve been thinking about them a lot lately and the more I rewatch some of their scenes together, the more I notice that they really develop a bond during Reboot. They are in a very similar position: brought in because of their idols, young, sometimes overlooked, struggling, and usually falling behind. And oh, definitely in need of some saving and with tragic backstories. They could be such amazing friends, and I think they come to trust and care for each other during their trip to Thunder City. Bai Haotian is so caring by nature and then Liu Sang is just right there. And Bai Haotian is so lowkey about her care; she doesn’t push if people don’t want her to, which works so well for Liu Sang. She’s there when needed. She doesn’t ask too much. She knows how it feels to look up to one of the members of the Iron Triangle and then curl your own life around them. (She also knows how it feels to have a crush on that same member and then notice that crush will never lead you anywhere, though I guess Bai Haotian comes to realize that during their trip instead of years before but well, details.) She doesn’t judge Liu Sang and somehow Liu Sang comes to rely on her a lot. 

And last but not least (never the least!): Pangzi. God I adore these two to bits. Their banter is just *chef’s kiss* and when I look at them, all I can think about is a big dog trying to pat a hissing kitten with its paw. Which then turns to the kitten play fighting the dog’s big paw. And then getting tired. And falling asleep. While the huge dog just curls its body around the kitten to keep it warm, and maybe the kitten swats at the dog slightly for show but actually it enjoys it. Because it’s nice and soft and very warm. So yes, I love it how Pangzi and Liu Sang start off as enemies but come to care for each other. I cry about the peanut scene every day. Yes please adopt this poor stray kitten, he deserves a loving home ;; Give him food and a blanket and maybe he will hiss a little less (Pangzi also gives great hugs and Liu Sang deserves a dozen. For starters.) 

My unpopular opinion about this character

Once again I am at a loss with this. I don’t really know what this fandom thinks about Liu Sang? I feel like our tiny Liu Sang hyping corner here on tumblr is very much unified with the opinions. We all love him a lot and want the best for him, case closed. So maybe I’ll just talk about my hypersensitivity headcanon for him? Let me do that for fun haha

So, I know he’s sensitive to sounds. Understandable, with his skills. And I feel bad for him for that because it must be horrible at times (we get introduced to him through him vomiting because he can’t handle a train station with all the noise, christ) but I also somehow relate to that. I get sensitive to sounds sometimes too. A simple click of my mouse can be annoying at times. I require absolute silence quite often, and this intensifies if my emotions are on the negative side. So, somehow I’m taking things from that. Touch hurts when he’s feeling bad about himself. Noises annoy him when he’s angry or scared. Lights look too bright or he feels like he can’t focus his gaze when he’s sad or panicking. Smells and tastes are intensified when he’s stressed. I dunno, just simple little things. Him feeling through his senses. Him just generally being sensitive with his feelings because this world is a demanding place and pushes you into feeling things. And I feel like a lot about him is already tied to his hearing so why not his feelings too? I’ve read so many nice takes on him which somehow support this so I feel like this just fits right in. 

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon

Liu Sang joins the final celebration!! Him just disappearing doesn’t make sense at all!!!! Let him get hugs!!! Let him be happy!!!! Oh my god. I was so mad about that and still am because no way did he just leave and not join his new friends for this final evening!!! Dammit. No matter how much he feels like he doesn’t belong and like he’s just “a hired talent” among them, he’s not that dull!! He got those damn peanuts and some hugs and shoulder pats from people, he was there saving the day, he managed to create bonds!!! And god, knowing Wu Xie, he would never allow Liu Sang to think that lowly of himself!!!! He would be there to offer Liu Sang the world if he wants it!! Gaaaahhhh

So yeah, give Liu Sang his moment with his new family or I am throwing something, for fuck’s sakes

thank you again for sending me these asks ♥ i’ll answer the rest during these next few days! you’re amazing!!

[mejomonster]

(8) ok imma be real with u chief ao far one of the gayest things ab this show is that like. This all happens within like two days. Xiaoge and Wu Xie barely know each other. Wu Xie is just That Much of a damsel in distress is Xiaoge is just That Weak to a pretty face. Like theyve said maybe eight words to each other but somehow that makes it even gayer

less than 8 words and xiaoge feeds him his blood, saves him like 8x times, what do u do? xiaoge has lived so long disconnected to the whole WORLD and in less than 2 days has become irresistably connected to humanity again because of one curious cat naive relentless bastard wu xie...

xiaoge’s Whole Fucking Life just changed n turned on its head (or at least is now starting irreversably to), and its been... less than 2 days. And all wu xie did was... be himself. (U haven’t seen Time Raiders yet but given THIS perspective, honestly not that surprising that Also happens in a day and they’re like in love)

really tho like. 

i do wanna hear an actual review of like. if it felt as gay as like idk guardian? or the untamed? idk? just cause i... i would assume... maybe...? that tlt1 did it unintentionally...somehow. or else i am still lost on why they did it on purpose... still pondering it... 

also if pingxie is in fact such an obvious ship as my dumb brain think it is given How Much they are just. like this.

not gonna lie the immortal/human drama of it all in TLT2 and Reboot in totally different ways just. Hits every note i love. uvu Whereas the TLT1? Its just the intro lol.

i assume u still haven’t seen xiaoge in the suit. >o> you will o3o

[merinnan]

DMBJ Explore with the Note Ep 2

Okay, I wasn't sure if I'd get to ep 2 today, but I need Iron Triangle shenanigans to cheer me up after the feels fest that was Train to Busan

So here we go! DMBJ S2 Ep 2!

The counts at the start of ep 2! 

Season 2 Xiaoge Rescue Count: 1 for Wu Xie, 1 for protagonists, 2 for everyone 

Season 2 Wu Xie Swoon Count: 0 

Cumulative Xiaoge Rescue Count: 11 for Wu Xie, 16 for protagonists, 18 for everyone 

Cumulative Wu Xie Swoon Count: 6

- Opening with Wu Xie wandering around somewhere, so I'm guessing this is another dream/nightmare 

- 'Somewhere' turns out to be a sunken ship 

- Minus all the water 

- I'm expecting a jump scare any moment now

- Not as bad a one as I expected, but still 

- a wild Sanshu suddenly appears! 

- This dream Sanshu being just as creepy as the dream Sanshu in the previous ep 

- And just as murderous 

- And now he wakes up thanks to Pangzi, and it's daytime now 

- Looks like the storm is over, too

- OMG Pangzi that is not how you're supposed to meditate 

- lol @ Wu Xie's confused reaction to it 

- Hahah, A-Ning was not successful in hiding the booze from Pangzi 

- Wu Xie, baby, I love your confidence here about there being no complicated traps, but it's entirely misplaced

- He definitely has to suspect that that's Xiaoge after the whole ghost ship thing, he wouldn't be giving that cute little smile otherwise

- Oh god, the English dubbing is so bad. The words and lips don't sync at all 

- And it looks like her boss is a foreigner this time? 

- This water is so murky 

- This swimming around underwater making exaggerated gestures bit could have been much shorter than it is 

- Like seriously

- It wouldn't be quite as bad if the water wasn't just this constant murky green so that you could actually see properly 

- But as it is I'm mostly just looking at this dirty green screen with some shapes moving past sometimes

- I get padding out an episode, but it's been almost five minutes of this now 

- Oh, at least now we're at least getting little flashes of Wu Xie recognising this stuff from his grandfather's notebook 

- But still 

- HURRY THE FUCK UP AND GET TO THE TOMB

- 5 1/2 mins before something even marginally interesting happens >.< 

- Because apparently now the statue is opening its eyes. Maybe. 

- Wait no, I counted wrong 

- 7 1/2 MINS 

- 8 1/2 mins before they get to any breaking and entering 

- 8 1/2 mins to do what should have taken 2

- It wasn't even marginally interesting filler >.< 

- Just....dirty green screen with some dark shapes, and the occasional close up on faces or wrist notepads 

- And this knife is cutting through the mortar holding these bricks together suspiciously easily

- Oh, the evil hair is making its first appearance 

- Evil Hair Count: 1 

- Yes, touching it is a great idea! Well done! 

- Oh, it scared it away this time 

- Apparently, the evil hair being scared away is what triggers the brick door to automatically open for them

- Oh, I like this shot of the wetsuit hood almost looking like a hoodie hood. I'm not sure if that was intentional, but I still like it.

- SUDDEN CORPSE APPEARANCE 

- Oh, sudden thing swimming real fast into/around them 

- Most of this episode has just been...murky green

- Like. They've been in the water for 10 minutes so far. And the only important/interesting things that have happened have been finding Sanshu's stick, finding the statues that reminded Wu Xie of shit in the notebook, Wu Xie thinking the statue eyes opened, the appearance of the evil hair, the door opening, the corpse appearing, and now this thing swimming by them. All of which could have been done in, like, a third of the time.

- Since they all took only a few seconds each

- Oh, it was evil hair lady, who is now swimming away super fast when Pangzi shot at her. 

- I'm amazed he could see clearly enough in the murk to even aim, tbh 

- Oooh, dramatic music 

- It would be nice if I could see clearly enough to know the reason for the dramatic music

- PANGZI. WU XIE. YOU HAVE NOTEPADS ON YOUR WRISTS. 

- YOU DO NOT NEED TO TAKE OUT YOUR OXYGEN MOUTHPIECES TO TRY TO TALK UNDERWATER 

- YOU ARE WASTING YOUR OXYGEN 

- OH HI EVIL HAIR LADY 

- I will make that Evil Hair Count: 2, because it was a lovely shot of her hair as well

- Oh, they've made that maelstrom-like tunnel the entrance to the tomb in the drama 

- Oh god, the greenscreen 

- I think Chongqi is the only one I've seen so far that does greenscreen even halfway well 

- It took them 11 1/2 mins to get into the tomb

- An entire quarter of the episode was just them fucking around underwater where the viewer could barely see what was happening at the best of times 

- Since the ep is 45 mins including opening and ending credits

- Oh, they've come out into the room with the pots, except it has a pool in it this time 

- Sigh. Of course they gave A-Ning pink-accented gear.

- They all have a different colour on their goggles to tell them apart, but in the underwater stuff it was too dark to tell what colours she and Xiaoge had. Now that they're out of the water, I can see that hers is pink. 

- And I'm like 

- WHY 

- PLEASE 

- STOP

- Why are there spiderwebs in the underwater tomb? 

- The babby zombie footprints! 

- Yes, Pangzi, those tiny little footprints are Sanshu's 

- Hahah, I love little shit Wu Xie 

- Apparently spiders even have to be built into underwater ones. Either that, or spiders can now dive

- Maybe when they built the tomb, they made sure to have spiders in there. Which also means they had to ensure there was spider food in there. 

- Oh, hey, in the drama they actually think to look inside the jar! But babby zombie is not in there this time.

- Oh, it was in one of the other jars instead 

- Okay, time to follow the baby in the jar 

- Oh, this hallway 

- A-Ning is about to be a very bad girl 

- Also, so many cobwebs 

- So many

- I think that lends credence to the 'spiders were put here when the tomb was built and so have lived here for thousands of spider generations' 

- WHY ARE ALL THE CANDLES LIT 

- WHO LIT THEM SO RECENTLY THAT THEY'RE STILL BURNING

- I still can't get over them subbing 'Sanshu' as 'Uncle San' 

- And random English because why not

- I was about to say the traps are stupidly obvious in this hall, then I remembered the Starfinder adventure I ran where the trigger was a giant mosaic on the floor that practically screamed 'trap' & the PCs just walked over it. And then were surprised when the trap triggered.

- Oh, here we go, A-Ning's about to do the thing 

- Complete with evil villain smirk as she does so 

- I wish there was better lighting in this hallway, because A-Ning's moves are amazing and I would like to be able to see them better

- Xiaoge Rescue Count: 2 for Wu Xie, 2 for protagonists, 3 for everyone

- Those are some wuxia-esque spinny moves from A-Ning there 

- Nooooo, Xiaoge, don't leave Wu Xie there without you! 

- I wondered how they were going to have Wu Xie get hit by them since Xiaoge stopped him from being hit by the initial shots 

- Dammit, A-Ning

- I appreciate that Pangzi's first reaction is to run to check on Wu Xie 

- Even though that got him shot himself 

- lol, these two dummies sitting there screaming once they notice all the arrows that they hadn't noticed before

- Good Pangzi, showing off that you're actually smart by realising Something Is Up with these arrows 

- "Does it feel this good to be shot to death?" 

"I've never died before, I have no idea" 

 - Hahahah, waving the arrow to see it that would attract more firing

- Then oh so carefully peeking up over the edge 

- Ah, finally Xiaoge reveals himself properly! 

- That face mask is just ridiculous 

- lol, Wu Xie's reaction 

- Those wide puppy eyes 

- lol, Xiaoge's little smirk at Wu Xie

- And again. THEY'RE SO CUTE I CAN'T

- Here we are at the first chamber switcheroo 

- I wish they'd subtitle at least the important parts of Wenjin's notebook when Wu Xie reads it and gets clues 

- They were good with subtitling the wrist notepads when they were aimlessly swimming around for 11 mins 

- But nothing else

- "Do you have Alzheimers" OMFG, Pangzi 

- Pangzi gonna Pangzi 

- I seem to say something along those lines about all of the Iron Triangle 

- But it's true 

- Ahahah, Wu Xie's facial expressions when he's brushing off Pangzi here 

- It's little shit Wu Xie all over

- Look, okay, flashbacks are fine and all, but does it have to be a flashback to the FUCKING GREEN MURKY WATER 

- Okay, at least that part wasn't too long 

- That container is not sealed, that paper should not have been dry

- Certainly not so dry that exposure to air made it crumble and blow away

 - Professor Zhang? 

- HOW WERE THE IMPRINT OF WORDS LEFT BEHIND IN THE DUST?! 

- IDK why they needed two archaeological teams in this flashback 

- Also, hi, flashback Xiaoge 

- Hey, it's the copper snek fishy

- Oh, that was a good cliffhanger to leave this episode on! 

- Xiaoge remembering that he has been there before

So! Ep 2 ends with: 

Season 2 Xiaoge Rescue Count: 2 for Wu Xie, 2 for protagonists, 3 for everyone 

Season 2 Wu Xie Swoon Count: 0 

Season 2 Evil Hair Count: 2 

 Cumulative Xiaoge Rescue Count: 12 for Wu Xie, 17 for protagonists, 18 for everyone 

Cumulative Wu Xie Swoon Count: 6 

[merinnan]

DMBJ Explore with the Note Ep 5

Okay, now that my workshop is finished, time for DMBJ Explore with the Note ep 5! Otherwise I will spend the entire afternoon just fucking around in WoW instead (one day I will show you screenshots of my Iron Triangle-as-WoW-toons).

We start ep 5 with the usual counts 

Season 2 Xiaoge Rescue Count: 2 for Wu Xie, 2 for protagonists, 3 for everyone 

Season 2 Wu Xie Swoon Count: 0 

Season 2 Evil Hair Count: 3

Cumulative Xiaoge Rescue Count: 12 for Wu Xie, 17 for protagonists, 18 for everyone 

Cumulative Wu Xie Swoon Count: 6

- It's been a few eps since we had updates to the rescue or swoon counts, so here's hoping for Ep 5 

- Ah, yes, the baby archaeologists just discovered the heavenly palace 

- At least this girl is marginally less annoying than she was in the novel 

- ...okay, I take it back

- Sweetie, it's a fucking tomb, why are you upset that there's a corpse in there? 

- Those are some impressive fingernails 

- lol, and they were all so distracted by the girl that no-one noticed 'Xiao Zhang' going all Zhang Qiling to get up there to check out what freaked her out

- I am disappoint that they didn't keep the present time crew in form-fitting wetsuits for the whole underwater tomb investigation like they did with the flashback crew 

- OMG the look on Wenjin's face, I love it 

- I think she's starting to realise that he knows what he's doing

-Very good questions, Wenjin 

- Oh, so that wasn't just better set lighting, the tomb was actually fully lit somehow? The better question in this case is not 'why is it suddenly so dark' but 'how the fuck was this underwater tomb so well lit?'

- THEN you can follow it up with 'why has the mysterious lighting suddenly gone out?' 

- WHY would you bring such a group of easily scared kids on an archaeological expedition to EXPLORE THROUGH TOMBS? 

- That seems like a bad idea even if you didn't think anything weird would go on

- ISTG, Sanxing, Wenjin, and Xiaoge are the only level-headed ones of the bunch 

- A mural. They were in hysterics over a mural. 

- I mean, yeah, there's a lot of high mountains, so not surprising you can't tell which one it is

- I was gonna say she's super judgey for an archaeologist but...nah, yeah, that tracks for academia, speaking from experience XD

 - This episode has been taunting me with potential rescues that never quite get there, so it better actually pay off with one of them this episode

- Oooh, bitty shadow 

- Wonder if it's the baby corpse from the jar earlier 

- ...oh, right, Sanshu's still running around in some weird trance

- Awww, the lights go out in the heavenly palace room, and the entire set lighting goes from lovely and well-lit so you can actually see what's on screen, to super dark and shadowy, even outside that room

- Sorry, sanmei, I know I said I’d stop talking about lighting, but...I live in eternal hope of good lighting. The flashbacks here were actually GOOD up until now. So I am sad they've gone back to bad lighting. 

- I'm embarrassed to say that it's taken me the entirety of Guardian, Granting You A Dreamlike Life, DMBJ 1, and now partway through ep 2 of DMBJ 2 before I've realised that I can pause Viki playbacks by hitting my space bar.

- OMFG, how many rooms are there in this tomb with a set of porcelain vases arranged in a particular order?

- Smart, Wenjin, conserving flashlight batteries like that. 

- I know that this Wenjin must be older than the Wenjin in the Chongqi flashbacks, but why couldn't we have had this Wenjin in those flashbacks as well?

- Chongqi Wenjin is ok, but this one's more level-headed and competent. And much better at de-escalating semi-hysterical girls. 

- Then again, I suppose if Chongqi Wenjin had this Wenjin's skills, they wouldn't have been able to have had that dumb ~DRAAMAA~ with the love triangle

- Tunnel floor is suddenly wet again instead of dry. Wish they'd make up their mind 

 - Evil Hair Count: 4 

- This time creeping on random guy at the back of the party 

- Who is mildly disturbed that he's suddenly got water down the back of his neck. Don't blame him

- Judging by the way Xiaoge just clapped a hand over his mouth and nose, I'm guessing that they all just got gassed. 

- And it must be a REALLY FAST acting gas if they all collapsed like 5 seconds after Xiaoge covered his nose and mouth, and he seems to be fine

- Oh, no, spoke to soon, down he goes 

- Okay, Sanshu. A) That's creepy, and b) why aren't you also affected? 

- ...something that takes down Xiaoge for long enough that he wakes up in a hospital bed concerns me 

- I do not blame him one bit for looking so perturbed

- OMG, that GRRM roast, that's fantastic 

- I hope Xiaoge is just leaving out all of the unnecessary family stuff that he doesn't think Wu Xie and Pangzi need to do, otherwise he just implied that the Zhangs have just, like, misplaced him for 20 or so years and not looked for him?

- Wu Xie is always so desperate to believe the best of Sanshu, it's really cute 

- Ah, I see we're back to the requisite pingxie staring for the episode. Excellent

- Here's the clearest sign yet that S2 does not follow on from S1 at all, as it completely ignores changes that S1 made to the plot and instead is referencing novel events that did not happen in the drama. 

- I would have been SO FUCKING CONFUSED if I hadn't read the first novel

- lol, Xiaoge. Giving a tiny almost-smile and clapping someone on the shoulder after dropping a bombshell like that on them is NOT how you're supposed to talk to your crush

- And it looks like we're now back to Wu Xie's nightmares from the first ep 

- ...is that last one supposed to be Xiaoge? It's hard to tell with the angle and (yes, sorry, sanmei) the lighting 

- Way to ruin the moment, Pangzi 

- ...omg Pangzi 

- I'm kinda cringing now

-  Hahah, the look on Wu Xie's face. Like, same 

- Those are good points, Pangzi, but wouldn't you still have the problem of being underwater without oxygen tanks? That tomb is pretty far down and mostly buried in the sea bed, after all 

- ...Wu Xie that maths made no sense at all

- Rude. Pangzi has said useful things before now! 

- LOL at all the "don't touch anything" "i mean it" "also" "DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING" 

- Because we all know that Pangzi is gonna touch stuff and try to steal at least one thing 

- Oh, there you are, A-Ning 

- How did you get in there?

- This is an unnecessarily long sequence of Xiaoge running his fingers over the door and Pangzi messing with his hair, set to super annoying BGM. Was it really necessary to have a full 1 minute 40 seconds of that? 

- That should have been done in, like, 30 seconds tops.

- I do like how excited this Wu Xie is to see the cool architectural stuff like the moving doors in here 

- After that first hallway, they all seem so unconcerned about traps 

- Tombs are usually, quiet, Wu Xie. Hence the saying 'quiet as the tomb'

- Xiaoge's tiny smiles at Wu Xie and Pangzi's banter are just adorable

- OMG THEIR FACES

- But guys, you really should have looked for traps first 

- Before the walls started trying to squish you like pancakes 

- "Start climbing", says Xiaoge, as he just fucking leaps up the sides of the walls

- Good thing these walls are conveniently not smooth and straight, with regular hand and footholds 

- Xiaoge Rescue Count: 3 for protagonists

- Not quite the dramatic rescue I was hoping for, but I'll take it since it's been so long 

- The closed walls has now made them a cute little tunnel to crawl through

- Oh, wait, annoying girl was from one of the Nine Gate families? 

- Which one? I'll have to look her up later, I've completely forgotten her name.

- Xie Lianhuan is talking Sanshu into taking him along on the original expedition. Honestly, dude, you dying is all your fault, you weren't even supposed to be there

- Oh, Qiu Dekao was involved in the 20 year ago bullshit as well. Why am I not surprised? 

- And with the tomb from S1, too, also 20 years ago

- Wait, if Wenjin was the leader the whole time, how come she kept deferring to Sanshu? 

- Dramatic bgm! Dramatic reused footage! 

- Oh yeah, the looks on their faces, I know exactly who just popped into mind for Pangzi and Wu Xie at that 

- Because who else could have done it?

- ...okay, except Sanshu, point 

- Oh noooooo, more fucking underwater diving scenes 

- This show is instilling in me a visceral loathing of underwater diving scenes. They're awful

- Like, seriously, after 5 eps they've already shown enough underwater goddamn diving scenes to fill up a full half of an episode 

- An entire quarter of one episode was made up of them 

- Oh my GOD that bgm. That was...something

- Okay, Xie Lianhuan was supposed to have dug this passage? Seriously? 

- He was only missing for a day before they found his body, how the fuck was he supposed to dig a loooooong passage, high enough for a fully grown adult to walk crouched, in less than a day?

- Ah, and that's ep 5. 

 Count updates: 

 Season 2 Xiaoge Rescue Count: 2 for Wu Xie, 3 for protagonists, 4 for everyone 

Season 2 Wu Xie Swoon Count: 0 

Season 2 Evil Hair Count: 4

Cumulative Xiaoge Rescue Count: 12 for Wu Xie, 18 for protagonists, 19 for everyone 

Cumulative Wu Xie Swoon Count: 6 

Season 2 is decidedly lacking in swoons so far. It better up its game.

[mejomonster]

not the comparison ANYONE is looking for in this chilis tonight but

to dear myself’s yiming? he is DESPERATE to have the kind of love wen kexing and zhou zishu have goddamn.

he’s like trying to trust and be open and pour his heart out First like zhou zishu. and wants to be with the person he loves forever. and make things work.

and his girlfriend just. does not want to meet him halfway. she does not want to find the common ground they could live together forever happily compatible in. she wants her way or no way, and its subtle but its there. and for her if yiming is gone its no big deal. he’s in her life as accomodating to her completely, or he’s not. but to him its like he Wants her in his life, wants to love her his whole life, and is willing to put in the work. and its a fucking slow burn tragedy. after ep 1 i dont know if i could even watch more and bear it.

meanwhile yeah zhou zishu fell in love with a murderer on an unhinged streak dang dude. but wen kexing IS willing to try and meet him back, to answer when asked, to come back when they have a disagreement, to see if there’s a way they can both do their life goals and wants together. he’s certainly imperfect - he’s not supposed to even be functional, and they’re in a larger than life wuxia lol. but STILL those two can decide ‘yes you are important to me and i value u in my life and acknowledge you value me in your life and will work on maintaining this relationship.’ Because both are also mature enough to know they could still choose to leave if the other wasn’t trying. ahhhh

also while im on the subject. yiming ALSO wishes he had what fucking wu xie and xiaoge have ;-; In Ultimate Note xiaoge tries SO hard to make things work and meet wu xie in the middle so they can make this relationship work long term and consistently. and wu xie was always trying. and like. literally just the DESIRE to make a relationship important in both ppl’s lives is a significant part of the work! and without it good luck, and yiming just does NOT have that part.

 for all his girlfriend is or isn’t compatible, for all he wants to put in effort to meet her in the middle, etc. If she wants him to want the exact same thing as her or else she’s moving on, then they’re not gonna last. No one wants exactly precisely the same things. She can’t say ‘fuck it communicating when i leave the city on a plane isn’t important AND i’ll lie about not answering my phone’ and also think their conversation about the issue solved anything. Now? If she’d said ‘sorry but i PRIORITIZE work and im NOT answering my phone at work’ then that would’ve fixed things! or her saying ‘ok i get it you worry when i leave on a plane unexpected, i’ll text u when i leave without notice faraway so you don’t think im kidnapped lol’ or ‘i’ll answer a text within a few hours if i leave suddenly far away and im missing and forget to let u know. then he wouldn’t even be stressed - he’d know 1 she’ll let him know when he shouldnt plan surprises, 2 if shes ok, and 3 that she values work over him and he needs to respect work time as time he wont get contact. 

But instead the way she answers him just kinda lets us know if she cheated she probably just Would go leave the city, not answer her phone, sleep around, and lie since she does not wanna fix minor communication issues when its over this basic stuff. And she just wants to tell him ‘u worried over nothing, and i was busy.’ when like... if it Keeps happening she could at least say ‘i will NOT answer at work so if its work hours just know i wont answer.’ at least that would solve the issue! instead of pushing it down the road! (but like even most normal people... if they got THAT many calls texts they’d assume someone’s in the hospital and its an emergency and call anyway within a couple hours of THAT many messages, so the fact she still ignores it like... what if he ends up in the hospital and she also responds by ignoring it... that’s gonna be a trainwreck)