#its on the longer side i think but. its got you wishing it was wven longer. trust me

[tittyblade]

hello op do tell me what is the wangxian fic you mentioned in the tags of this post https://www.tumblr.com/tittyblade/711997184926711808?source=share i am very much interested in a fic with lots of gender

thank you so much and hv a great day <3

(x) HELLO IM SOOOO GLAD YOU ASKED BC IT MIGHT BE MY ALL TIME FAVORITE WANGXIAN FIC SERIES <3333

See all this and more for just ten dollars a month! by ScarlettStorm

its a modern setting OF au. wangxian met in college and theyve been friends for 10 years, obviously pining like hell and cant do anything abt it for the fear of it messing w their friendship LOL. then things change and they change.

the first book focuses on how their relationship comes to be. its got good conflict n even better conflict resolution <33 if you’re specifically asking for what the post says that doesn’t come until the second book i think? there are still QUITE gender parts in the first book too tho. especially if youre into fuckin around w gender presentation <3 there are certain scenes where reading it gave me so much secondhand gender euphoria. reading this series (n im not even done yet!) made experimenting w my gender both identity and expression wise so much more fun. its definitely a comfort series for me <3

some of my favorite bits abt this series:

lan zhan is autistic and his autism is written rlly nicely. making me reconsider trying to get a diagnosis bc of how relatable he is to me LOL

same with wei ying and adhd

they both fuck up but work thru it together. theyve got really good communication and honestly its so refreshing to read people in a genuinely healthy relationship (it gets worse before it gets better)

^i should add to that. its written from lan zhans pov and quite a few of the first chapters are. anxious. the narration reflects the mental state of the characters so reading those first chapters were a bit uncomf for me but TRUST me. it gets so much better. its still definitely worth to push thru it and keep reading it.

the gang goes to therapy bass boosted! not getting into more details bc spoilers. just read it. its written very realistically which i adore.

nie huisang is nonbinary n goes by they/them <333 incorporating it into my belief system. they’re also a. sort of indie fashion designer WHICH??? I LOVE???? they work w burlesque performers so you can get a sense for their creations <3333

ScarlettStorm, the author, is a burlesque performer herself!! she know what shes writing. which shes Good at. (shes also on tumblr so if youre seeing this HI. i adore your fics)

in the second book, you get social commentary thru the characters’ dialogues abt things like being queer, being a sex worker, etc. which to me felt INCREDIBLY satisfying to read. even just writing queer characters living a good life is a form of resistance.

the smut is like. really really good LOL. thats all im gon say abt it find it out for yourself

[agermanbetweenscots]

Settling In

I wish I could remember how exactly I met every single one of my friends for the first time – and really, people should write way more diaries. We should note down way more experiences, memories are so short lived and it sometimes freaks me out.

Shayna and me were talking about it and unfortunately both of our brains are old and leaky – and we might also be similarly awkward with new people that the pure anxiety of meeting each other for the first time made us delete that experience from our brains but here is what we think happened.

1. I was getting coffee and the Costa in the hospital

2. Martha was there too. Maybe Nico too. Or maybe it was Nico and not Martha. Someone else was there.

3. We sat and had coffee (so somehow we must have been early to class) I know. Back when that was a thing. Back when cycling to uni took longer than pressing the ‘join meeting’-button)

4. Hassan and Shayna came in.

5. Hassan saw us, said ‘look, other medics, lets join them’ and dragged Shayna along with him.

Shayna and me obviously bonded over college in the US, boyfriends on the opposite of the world, older age and feeling a little out of it with all the young, drunk kids.

At some point she brought up studying in coffee shops – and I was just like, HELL YEAH. Coffeeshops + studying (+talking) = friends. Fortunately, the equation worked out. Our first coffee shop study friendate was the 12thof October 2019.

On the 23rd of October, Shayna had organised for the Grads to go to the Escape room in town. This escape room was special as it has the same room four times, so we could all do the same room at the same time and this is how I met Hannah and Dom a little more.

Trying to escape, Hannah and me struggled to put batteries into a flashlight (I know, we’re sooo smart), while me and Dom were in a different room, Shayna and Hannah freaked out when a picture fell off the wall as part of a clue. We did not win (but I think we came second).

After the Escape room, we went to Five Guys to have some burgers, this really made me feel like I have friends. Great feeling.

Also, I had joined two sports clubs. Lacrosse and Triathlon.

Triathlon was a bust, I have had such a great time at ENTC in Edinburgh, I loved the people and how kind and cool and chill the people were. Those had been my people, I loved the training sessions, the running and the jokes. And at first, I told myself, new club, new people, new vibes. Give it time, I told myself. And they weren’t terrible. None of the SUTRI people were mean to me or particularly difficult.

It was just the whole vibe of being too focused on times and races and how good someone did on their last race. I remember being at a social and them being a bit weirded out about me not wanting to get faster for 5K.

What I wanted was a chill, chatty running group, a chill trainer, getting better technique with no pressure – I think I found the opposite.

However, I found that in the Lacrosse Club in Soton. LAX was and is still so chill about your skills, they noticed when I didn’t come for a training session – which is always good to know. I like it if the people notice whether you are there or not, so you feel part of the club wven though you just joined.

I wasn’t the only German to sign up for LAX, for the first session, Pauline, Basem, Jana and Larissa were there, too. Jana and Larissa stopped going pretty early on – Pauline and Basem stayed though.

LAX was great. Every Tuesday evening, we went to training – rain or sun. Although, having placed Lacrosse now for two years I notice that holding a wooden stick with bare hands in the cold Southampton rain is the worst. My poor knuckles and joints. Wide Lane (the pitch we play on) is across from the airport and therefore really far out of the way. The cycle up takes around 25 minutes. On the way there, its fine. Its mostly downhill, you are still full of Energy, excited to play Lacrosse, get out of the house, stop studying etc. On the way back, however, IT IS THE WORST. It is uphill – my bike cannot change gears, you just ran around in the cold, you’re hungry, cold and annoyed and now you get to be sweaty and out of breath as well.

This was mine and Pauline’s first Lacrosse game – we played the Fresher Team of the Uni – we lost (not really a surprise) but it was so much fun to play.

The next picture is of one of those forfeits – basically we play and train and have mini-games we play. And If you lose or aren’t as fast or quick or good as the other team(s), they get to punish you. Sometimes it will be a wheel barrow race, sometimes it is a human pyramid. Most often however, it is having to roll down a hill close to the field – I think I spent most of my time before Christmas muddy, cold, clammy and full of grass spots.

So here I was, settling into life in Southampton. Tuesdays Lacrosse, Mondays Triathlon and inbetween study dates and the occasional social or pub drink.

Shayna and me became closer and started to have study dates after every uni day. We would take the Bluestar 17 down to the city centre and study in Starbucks at the Central Station for hours afterwards. Then we would head to hers and eat dinner, or I would head home.

First term uni was wonderful. I enjoyed FoM being easy (as already mentioned) but the subjects I enjoyed the most were Anatomy, Pharmacology and Pathology.

Anatomy:

I loved the lab. It would be taken from us way to early and way too abruptly but 2019-us didn’t know that. Anatomy overwhelmed us regularly, but thankfully we settled into quite quickly.

We started with the introduction to the different systems of the body that we would learn more about later on: a little breast, a little penis, some GI and lots of histology. Although those slides still look just pink, purple and white to me. Ooops.

The overwhelmingness of Anatomy caused me to buy a skeleton though. And that’s how I got Buddy.

Pharmacology:

Taught by my absolute fave professor Tony Sampson, who is a simultaneously frightening, terribly sarcastic and darkly humorous, we started with pharmacodynamics – and like histology I don’t remember much. But learning about the drugs, drug interactions and side effects made me feel like a doctor in the making.

Pathology:

Karwan was a lot. Lots of definitions, lots of pathological tissue changes that we looked at. Learning the difference between Ischaemia and Necrosis (so subtle) or how hyperplasia and hypertrophy are technically different and still somehow the same. Similarly, to Pharmacology and Anatomy, Pathology added Medicine to the biology and general sciences we studied.

While I was writing this blog post, Dom came into the living room and reminded me of the lecture that scared him in first year.

And it didn’t scare him because of the content. Or because the lights went out, or fire alarm turned on or because zombies invaded the theatre (although first year freshers are often zombies at a 9AM lecture) but because someone fainted. I don’t remember being scared however. Worried for the person and a little bit in awe of how nonchalant the profs react to whenever someone is fainting. This prof (trauma surgeon, talking about traumas and A&Es) was literally just standing there, sighing and then asking the friend to bring the faintée (let’s pretend that this is a word) outside to give her space and a more distance to the powerpoint lecture with gruesome pictures.

I remember someone fainting in the Anatomy lab though, the first person ever to be fainting in front of me. Here, I remember how quick and non-dramatic fainting was. It was just a drop to the floor, knees giving away. I think in my mind, I always imagined fainting to be more dramatic, almost overacted, like in Jane Austen novels or films. Fainting in my mind was a dramatic sigh, a hand to the forehead and then a fall backwards. It is not. I am unsure of whether to be sad or relieved by this fact.

I like thinking back to first year. I remember the strange mixture of pride, confusion, panic and struggle. How many talks have I had with my friends about the workload? I wish I had known what was gonna come my way.