#itsybitsybabbles

[ah-bee-blogs]

Shout out to Unknown for demonstrating that serious injuries do have long-term affects on your body and your mind.

There isn’t an episode that goes by where we aren’t reminded of everything Qian has gone through to get to where he is. And it’s not just from flashbacks. It’s in the scars that remain on his body. The nightmares that haunt his sleep. In his interactions with women. His fierce protectiveness of his family. Qian’s triggers and responses to them make sense and don’t just appear out of the blue for dramatic effect.

So much of the emotional and physical trauma that Qian has experienced continues to impact his daily life in a way that makes him feel less like a character with a tragic backstory and more like an actual person with lived experience.

[ah-bee-blogs]

“I may not be able to completely forgive you now. But it’s not that I’m not happy that you came back to me again.”

The scene with Babe and his father was so good. It absolutely delivered on the complexities of that reunion. The way Pavel delivers lines while choking back tears and gasping for breath in emotional scenes is so real and raw. Poor Babe really went through the wringer and Pavel made me feel it every time.

When Babe meets his father, he is angry. But also heartbroken and cautious and frustrated and confused and hopeful. And this scene captured that so well.

Being abandoned by his father, his only parent, his only family, has deeply affected every aspect of his life to the point that he can’t trust anyone. He doesn’t even believe people can truly love each other. He doesn’t believe he can be loved.

(The way the frame focuses on Babe but you see his father in the background and they both turn away makes me think of those subconscious habits that two people who are related to each other share, but they turn opposite directions because they’re not reconciled with each other.)

The pain in his eyes, his voice, his body language. Babe is hurt, and he’s not afraid to let his father know. All the brokenness he’s experienced points back to the moment his father abandoned him. That’s not a small thing.

I’m glad this wasn’t an “omg I’ve missed you so much glad you’re here back in my life!” reunion.

It was very much a “you f*cked up my life and I don’t understand why you made the choice you did, I might never understand, but I’m willing to try figuring out a path forward” reunion.