#ivanttakethis answers

[ivanttakethis]

top 5 worst ivan mischaracterizations ( aka could you list five worst traits people give him that are just totally wrong) i love to hear people complain but if you don't want to you can ignore this ask have a good day

Anon I am SO glad that you asked!

Ivan is my favorite character in Alien Stage because he’s really complex.

I could talk about him and his characterization/mischaracterization all day and still have more to say after that. Now you’ve given me the perfect opportunity to write a bunch of my thoughts down.

These complaints are in no particular order and are ultimately subjective.

Also, I’m not a Patreon supporter, so I can’t comment on anything that might’ve been confirmed or debunked over there.

Top 5 Worst Ivan Mischaracterizations:

Ivan is an unfeeling and emotionless person

Ivan was trying to kill himself and Till during Round 6

Ivan hates Mizi

Ivan is arrogant

Ivan is violent

This is going to be a long one, so I’m putting everything under the cut. Let’s begin!

1. Ivan is an unfeeling and emotionless person.

I find this mischaracterization to be one of the most frustrating because there is so much evidence to the contrary.

As a child, Ivan is described as someone who struggles to express his emotions and connect with others (imo he’s neurodivergent-coded, but that’s a whole other discussion). But notably we’re not told that he doesn’t experience emotions.

This official art kills me every time I see it because it shows that Ivan knows he’s different from the other children and that it probably makes him stick out and he wants to fit in somehow so he tries to practice/fake it so maybe he won’t be so alone (the imitating behavior is also coded imo).

Beyond all of that, we see plenty of times throughout the series that he feels things, rather intensely even. He’s wistful about the stars and meteor showers and the thought of freedom. He has a curious nature, observing others, wanting to learn more about how they work; how he can emulate them.

And then there’s all of the feelings that well up when it comes to Till. The most obvious is that Ivan loves Till, in his own fucked up way. But there’s more to it.

He wanted attention from Till (maybe the first time he’s ever wanted something in that way). He did everything he could just to get Till to even so much as glance in his direction. All of the fighting, and the bickering, and the instigating was because Ivan craved reciprocation. He grew obsessed.

When Ivan managed to free both himself and Till, he was thrilled!

And when Till let go of Ivan’s hand to return for Mizi, he was very clearly heartbroken.

Ivan felt jealous of Mizi and Sua’s relationship, knowing that he would never have that chance with Till.

Ivan felt lonely because he thought Sua was just like him, only to realize that wasn’t true (because Mizi loved Sua back) and he had no one to relate to.

Also, the entirety of Black Sorrow?? Hello??? He was yearning for more than what he could get. He was resigned to his minuscule place in Till’s life. The song is full of mourning and sadness and grief.

In Round 6, I believe Ivan knew what he was going to do.

He was desperate for anything he could get from Till in his final moments. I think that’s part of why he kissed Till. If his only goal was to deliberately lose, why not skip the kissing and go straight to choking?

Ivan was a dying man overwhelmed with emotion and he desperately wanted Till to look at him, see him, make him feel content for the first (and last) time in his life.

Even if some of these emotions are not necessarily healthy, it shows that Ivan was capable of feeling something.

So… yeah. That’s why I really dislike the emotionless characterization of Ivan. There’s so much depth to his emotions and character, but some people just skim the surface and reduce him down to nothing more than a cold and stoic person.

2. Ivan was trying to kill himself and Till during Round 6.

This one is probably more often a misunderstanding than a mischaracterization of Ivan. I think some people may have seen IvanTill referred to as “toxic” or “obsessive” love when it came to how Ivan felt and behaved around Till and thought Ivan was on some “if I can’t have you, no one can” shit, but that completely ignores the wider context of his character. Ivan was devoted to Till to a fault.

To Ivan, Till was his reason for being. Till was his universe. His god. Till was something to be revered, protected, and worshipped. Ivan couldn’t live without Till. That’s why he sacrificed himself, so he wouldn’t have to continue on in a world without him in it. But he also wanted to protect Till, no matter the cost.

Pretty much everything Ivan did was to protect or care for Till: trying to escape Anakt Garden with him, watching over him after Till was attacked by the aliens in the club, freeing him from his collar over and over and over again, every chance Ivan got.

Nothing about Ivan’s feelings or behaviors toward Till suggests that he would ever harm him, let alone kill him. There’s a reason why when Ivan was “choking” Till it didn’t look like he applied any pressure, there was no struggle for air on Till’s end (even if he had mentally given up, physically there will be some sort of reaction to having your airway compressed), and we don’t see any marks on Till’s neck afterwards.

It didn’t matter what happened to Ivan as a result. Till was the only person who mattered to him.

He would do anything for him. He would quite literally rather die than have anything happen to his god.

Ivan only ever knew how to give all of himself to Till, giving up his life was inevitable.

3. Ivan hates Mizi

I’ve seen this one more so in fan fiction, usually for angsty circumstances, but this just completely sidesteps their canon relationship, which is positive and, dare I say, friendly.

He gave her piggyback rides when they were kids! In the lead up to Alien Stage, we see them chatting and Ivan being pleasant towards her in a sort of “big brother” type way without hiding some sort of darker emotion behind it.

Now, is Ivan envious of the relationship Mizi has with Sua? Yes. Does he hate that he’ll never get to have the connect they have with Till? Yes. But Ivan hasn’t given any indication that he hates Mizi herself. And I think that’s an important element of his characterization.

Yes, he has negative feelings surrounding Mizi, but he never takes them out on her or lets himself feel negative towards her as a person.

Edit: I started writing this section BEFORE we got the official art of Ivan hanging out with Mizi, but holy fuck am I glad I took so long to finish this because now it’s canon that Ivan got along well with Mizi and they were even close as kids despite the fact that Ivan loved Till and Till loved Mizi.

In conclusion, Ivan and Mizi were reasonably close and (imo) would’ve been besties in slightly different circumstances. Ivan is NOT a Mizi hater!!

4. Ivan is arrogant

Yes and no. On the surface, Ivan comes across as mature, confident, and in some cases arrogant, but as we see more from his perspective it quickly becomes clear that the arrogance is just a mask he wears for others.

Deep down, Ivan is very insecure and his self-esteem is almost nonexistent. He views himself as insignificant, twisted, unworthy. He vilifies everything that he feels and does. (“Thank you for being a victim of my shallow emotions” anyone?) Ivan fully convinced himself that Till wouldn’t give a shit about him if he died to keep him alive. That’s not the behavior of an arrogant person. Far from it.

His arrogant mask acts as a shield to keep others from seeing the monster he thinks he is. He’s even kept parts of himself out.

I think that’s also where his tendency to be an asshole comes from. Keeping people away, not wanting or knowing how to drop the arrogant mask, internalizing everything, projecting onto others (like that whole talk with Sua about self sacrifice).

So basically:

Characterizing Ivan as an insecure person who hides behind false confidence/arrogance to keep people from seeing the real (and somewhat fucked up) him? Great. Fantastic. Love to see it.

Characterizing Ivan as an arrogant asshole “just because”? Terrible. Hate it. You burned my crops and killed my cow.

5. Ivan is violent

I don’t know how this one came about, but it rubs me the wrong way so I’ll touch on it here.

We know Ivan instigated physical fights with Till when they were kids because that was the only way to consistently get Till’s attention (not saying I condone that btw). But outside of that, I don’t think Ivan has been violent with anyone else? And would he even be violent with Till like, recently?? I would say no.

Now I do think Ivan would resort to violence to protect Till, but nothing beyond that. I don’t don’t even think he would use violence to protect himself.

He’d probably just revert back to being a “perfect” obedient pet to avoid or diffuse confrontation. That’s what he did as a child; while Till fought back every chance he got. Till’s fighting spirit is probably one of the things Ivan loved about him. Maybe in part because he couldn’t find it in himself.

————————————————————

Anyways, those are my Top 5 worst Ivan mischaracterizations! Thank you for coming to my TEDTalk 🖤💙

[ivanttakethis]

This is one of the biggest reasons why I think Ivan is still alive tbh. I can’t imagine Vivinos/Qmeng dropping this information about Ivan’s unique past and then never addressing it again.

Outside of character development and background, there is so much world building potential in exploring Ivan’s life on the streets as a very young child.

We know the horrors humans owned by aliens are put through. What is life like for humans who aren’t?

Something that we are most likely not going to get from this new anniversary volume, but I would love to see are medical records and pictures of Ivan when he was first taken right off the streets and put into the system. I want to get a better idea of the circumstances he was in because, given how hostile the Segyein world is to humans, he must have been barely holding on physically and mentally.

This part of Ivan is so interesting to me, but as of yet we've hardly gotten any content for it. There's no way that this kind of backstory isn't important when it comes to his character, and while we already speculate how having to live like that at such a young age would have effected him (especially his worldview), it would be nice if we could get some actual canon content of what happened during that time.

[season40]

ALNST SEASON 40 OFFICIAL ROUNDS

Side A

Round 1: Ciaran v. Brandon ( @starry-skiez / @neverforgetyou )

Round 2: Zero v. Can ( @apriciticreveries / @paradisedisconcert )

Round 3: Yumi v. Asahi ( @rockwgooglyeyes / apri )

Round 4: Sirius v. Dante ( @junebluues / rock )

Round 5: Casimir v. Clementine ( star / @chevalperd )

Round 6: Innamorati v. Yael ( @alien-til-i-stage / @lookatmysillies )

Round 7: Toki v. Clove ( @verdantlights )

Round 8: Sebastian v. Yvonne ( @sotogalmo / @aakaneeee )

Round 9: Monica v. Isla ( @nottoonedin )

Round 10: Numa v. Maya ( june / @cloverandstuff )

Round 11: Juliet v. Jiu ( @yunoftheclouds / @severedscales )

Round 12: Eeta v. Ambrosia ( kellie / @rosedeleca )

Side B

Round 13: Mill v. Ava ( @waterydream / @tinypaperstar )

Round 14: Yuna v. Willow ( star / syd )

Round 15: Kioku v. Eri ( para / star )

Round 16: Leto v. Asuka ( sun / rock )

Round 17: Gaia v. Eliana ( @subzeromoron / akane )

Round 18: Aamon v. Xael ( akane / june )

Round 19: Mentha v. Naz ( rose / blue )

Round 20: Wren v. Atlas ( @ivanttakethis / akane )

Additional Information:

Round matchups will no longer be changing.

Round 1 will begin on December 24th. If your character is in this first round, please let me know their song ASAP.

All rounds will begin at 12:00 AM CST and end after 24 hours.

The announcers of S40 (Faisal and Zhuli) will sometimes make comments on the events of a round if it is interesting/important.

The announcers of S40 will have a popularity poll at the end of this season. Whoever loses will die.

If your character has to die/will escape in their round, please tell me! I'll have to know so I can prepare an announcement after their round is over.

If two characters tie, it is either up to the creators to choose the loser OR I will spin a wheel to decide their fate.

Feel free to send in any questions about how rounds operate! I will answer to the best of my ability.

[verdantlights]

I need my personal space, honestly.

Sona!Zen Intimacy levels with as many sonas as I can think of that I have created lore with. <3 If your sona isn't here, please don't take offense! Also, sona!zen's feelings about your sona do not reflect how I feel about you IRL, ofc mwah ily all

Nadohan @alien-til-i-stage - 65% "They're clingy and way too comfortable with the segyein for me. I can tolerate them mostly because I know they at least have a good heart." Noir @alien-til-i-stage - n/a "Supposedly the brother I remind Nad of. I just hope they don't use me to cope with his death."

Star @starry-skiez - 95% "He's my brother and I love him dearly. That's all there really is to it, aha."

Daian @apple8ees - 85% "I'm... I don't have the heart to tell him a few things. He's my sworn little brother and I just want to protect him."

Plip @awaggaa - 15% "They're strange as hell and I love it, 10/10."

Kay @imperfectnothing - 60% "He's odd. He's good to Daian and that's fine to me, I guess. He's hiding way more than he lets on, though."

Aoki @lookatmysillies - 40% "He's odd, too. Especially when you put him next to Kay. They're both weird. I can't make out anything about Aoki specifically just because he's generally off-putting."

June @heyojuno - 0% "He makes me sick and feverish any time I'm near him and my heart starts palpitating. I just get nauseous... he makes my stomach hurt..." (he has a crush on him, he just cant tell LMAO)

Ish @chevalperd - 70% "I have no reason to dislike her, but we're still not too close. She's incredibly nice, and I don't want to get attached to that, if I were to be close, she'd be around the same as Daian, an 85%."

Mercury @soulful-roses - 50% "There's something about them. We have similar mindsets and yet we're so incredibly different. They're interesting for sure, but we're not close and I have no intention of getting closer."

Airin @apriciticreveries - 35% "...They're distant, but they seem to be a good person. They're just a little off."

August @junebluues - 0.1% "He's fucking hilarious. I stole his song and made it better. Karma's a bitch."

Azrael @4listr - 0% "Get this gay shit off my feed and stop touching me."

Erichii @regulusisapainter - 50% "He's hiding something. He's chill but there's... it's like he knows something, or has a plan for something."

Neli @friedclownshrimp - 70% "She's kinda the same as Ish. She's super sweet and bubbly, but she's not someone I want to get involved with or attached to. She's also... incredibly young?? Like damn..."

Para @solei-eclipse - 0% "...They scare me."

Gam @gamcub - 0% "Who?"

Toon @nottoonedin - 75% "She's a diva! Slay."

Vant @ivanttakethis - 60% "She's chill. Not close to her, but she's a vibe."

MJ @subzeromoron - 15% "I don't know anything except what they look like, so they're fine?"

Yun @yunoftheclouds - 15% "Same thing as MJ, I don't know them very well except for their looks, so I can't give an answer."

Akane @aakaneeee - 50% "Oh she's pretty cool. I really like her piercings and wish I could have some similar."

[lookatmysillies]

Character Intimacy Levels: S39 Pt. 1

Based on the character intimacy percentages from the art book. Covering my characters’ intimacy levels with characters they have notable relationships with within and outside of their classes. This is part 1 for my S39 kids, then there’ll be Non-Competitors (Eddy and Itsaso), S40 (Naz and Yael), and S41 (Light and Halo).

Send me an ask if I miss your character and you want to know the intimacy level between one of my ocs and yours!

Tallis

Himei: 100% You picked me, of all people. I don’t know why you picked me. Sometimes I worry you just took pity on me.

Tov: 100% Is this what it’s like to be truly understood? I never knew it could be like this. It’s unlike anything I’ve ever felt.

Eddy: 85% We met under the worst circumstances. Maybe that’s why I’ve grown to love you so fast.

Lang: 80% I just like to… sit with you. And watch you make things from nothing. You calm me.

Khoi: 78% We used to be closer, but after Sai and Vera… well, we’re just not as close anymore. Still, I think I love you very much. You taught me more than anyone ever has.

Nyx: 76% You can be cold and sharp, but I know you’re full of good. You’re my friend. I feel safe with you.

Stasya: 65% My roommate. You keep your things tidy like me. I like you a lot.

Sai: 64% After everything, I still wish the best for you.

Castor: 60% Your inability to take things seriously gets on my nerves. But you look out for me.

Noora: 45% What a sweet girl. You’re the first human I ever saw.

Flor: 25% I don’t get you…

Daiki: 25% Maybe we could be friends in another life.

Cirrus: 12% If only I knew you better. I feel like I can see the answer to life itself on your face, and then a million new questions.

Azure: 5% I think Tov likes you? You make me nervous.

Castor

Kyo: 100% Kyo, lovely soul, I’ve never deserved you, your gentleness, or your grace for someone who only hurts the people he loves.

Nyx: 96% Baby brother, I’d like to think I’d do anything for you. I hope I’m right.

Haneul: 88% You make me feel safer than I’ve ever felt. I used to find you difficult to understand. I understand you now.

Aurien: 75% You make me feel such love and protectiveness. And yet your trust in me scares me.

Faolan: 73% Hehe, you remind me of my Kyo!

Jae: 66% You make me laugh every day.

Flor: 50% You remind me a bit of—well, me.

Evon: 45% I hated when Kyo had a crush on you, but I could never hate you. You’re beautiful. You gave him solace in ways I couldn’t.

Dian: 31% My little redheaded buddy! You’re good for Nyxie, following him around all the time. He needs to not be in his thoughts so much.

Moran: 12% Therapy party pooper.

Tov: 10% Uptight and unnerving. You have qualities I respect, though.

Azure: 1% Ugh.

Solei: 1% Sometimes I can’t help but loathe you for flying. For saving Aurien. Because I couldn’t.

Cinna, Leto, & Light: 1% I’m sorry.

Ok boy oh boy let’s see who to tag

@ivanttakethis for Tov. @pwippy for Lang. @bittersweet-adagio for Sai and Khoi. @imperfectnothing for Nyx, Dian, Han, and Fao. @billwasnot for Stasya. @kamersona for Noora. @sotogalmo for Flor. @daiki1k for Daiki. @cirrusoftheclouds for Cirrus. @azureitri for Azure. @aurienneirua for Aurien and Cinnabar. @kofeedoggo for Jae and Evon. @geospiral for Moran. @solei-eclipse for Solei. Aaaand @14-alc for Leto. Jfc okay time to retag like 80% of these in comments now that I have all the users in one place

[skzkiof]

find me;

ivantill, 4.1k, inspired by this post by @ivanttakethis Ivan returns - alive - after round 6 despite all odds but something is different about him. Wrong. Till is on his own to figure out what happened and how to fix it.

Till didn’t know how to describe what he was feeling – that wasn’t quite true; he had an idea. He was numb. He thought he’d been numb, before, but after watching Ivan die… now he knew what true numbness felt like.

He might not have expressed it enough, looking back. Just how much he appreciated having Ivan around. Maybe, he hadn’t even known yet how terribly empty this place would feel without him.

And now he would never get to tell him. He would never even get to talk to him again.

It was over, and frankly Till was too tired to keep fighting. It didn’t matter. His next opponent was Luka and he wasn’t naive enough to think he could win.

Strangely, he felt an odd sense of calm alongside the numbness. He was ready to go. He was ready to see if the aliens were truthful about this one thing, at least. Was there much of anything after death or just eternal darkness?

Nothingness?

Maybe that really would be better. To feel nothing. Be nothing.

Till heard a familiar bell; it was dinnertime. He curled up tighter, hugging his knees and closed his eyes. He wasn’t hungry.

-

He wasn’t sure how long he’d been asleep when he was finally jostled awake. He blinked, once, twice, eyes having a hard time adjusting to the brightness of day.

When he lifted his head, he was met with the face of a girl about his age, dark hair and dark eyes. Unassuming. He was pretty sure he’d seen her around once or twice. They’d never talked.

“I thought you might, um.” She was wringing her hands nervously. Till shouldn’t care. He had given up caring about anything, especially whatever she was struggling to tell him.

He sniffed. “If you have nothing to say, please go away.” He just wanted to go back to sleep. Sleeping was the only time he didn’t feel completely hopeless. At least in his dreams, he wasn’t alone.

“I know we haven’t talked much or anything,” she continued, speaking just a little too fast, “but I thought you might want to see this. You, um. You were close to him, right?”

She didn’t say his name. She didn’t need to.

Till didn’t even bother answering. He just blankly stared at her. Apparently, that was answer enough.

“You really need come see this,” she said again, this time with more urgency.

Till frowned. He should just ignore her. He didn’t want to entertain whatever game she was playing.

“I’m serious,” she was fidgeting again. “Please.”

He could’ve ignored her, but he didn’t. Even now, he supposed his curiosity had a way of getting the better of him. Standing up, he winced when his back cracked and his knees popped.

She smartly didn’t say anything and just led the way. Till followed slowly. It was only when she stopped abruptly that he finally looked up, barely avoiding running into her.

“Hey,” he barked. “Watch it!”

She stepped to the side, opening her mouth, probably to retort, but he couldn’t hear anything over the rushing in his ears.

There, in the middle of a small crowd, was Ivan.

He didn’t even know what to focus on first – his hair, brushed back with a small clip on the side to keep it out of his face. His clothes, pure white and pristine. The smile on his face, warm and sweet.

But none of that mattered, really. Nothing mattered but the fact Ivan was here.

Ivan was alive.

Till didn’t even wait to see if the girl had anything else to say; he rushed past her and joined the crowd, pushing people out of the way. Some of them glared at him, some yelled, but he didn’t care.

He needed to make sure he wasn’t seeing things. He needed to know Ivan was real.

When he finally reached the center of the crowd, he let out a shaky breath and just stared. Ivan was really there, standing right in front of him with a confused tilt of his head and an unnervingly polite smile.

Then Ivan opened his mouth and asked possibly the dumbest question he could:

“Are you okay?”

Till felt anger rush to the forefront of his many conflicting emotions, red hot and burning. “Am I okay?” he repeated in disbelief, and suddenly grabbed the collar of Ivan’s shirt. Ivan blinked, but didn’t move to stop him. “You seriously think you can do all that and then just ask me if I’m okay?”

Ivan stared back at him with a familiar blankness before suddenly he was smiling, soft and kind, “I’m sorry,” he said, and Till couldn’t remember ever hearing him apologize, before. “I don’t know what I did but I assure you I didn’t meant to upset you.”

He reached up and gently touched Till’s hands, still clutching his collar.

“If you would let go, maybe we can go somewhere private and talk.”

Till blinked, once, twice, before suddenly letting go like he’d been burned, his hands curling into fists at his sides “You don’t know what you did?” he repeated, slowly, icily. “Is this some kind of sick joke to you?”

His heart was thumping in his chest too fast, too hard. He felt like he was struggling to breathe.

“I really don’t,” Ivan replied softly. It was unnerving, hearing him talk like that. “But I’m assuming I did something to hurt you, and if I did, I really am sorry.”

Till bristled, fists tightening. He could feel something wet in both palms of his hands; blood, maybe, from where his nails were digging too deep.

“You really don’t remember?” he asked, terrified of the answer.

Ivan smiled again; it was too sweet. “I’m afraid I don’t.”

“Okay.” Till swallowed, forced his hands to relax at his sides. “Okay.”

Without waiting for any kind of response, he turned and ran.

-

For a while, he isolated himself and just tried to figure out what had happened. Maybe some kind of head trauma? That would’ve explained the memory loss, maybe, but Ivan was acting like a completely different person.

Before he had seen Ivan again - before he had gotten confirmation he was still alive - he had gone over all the things he wanted to say to him, good and bad.

Now he couldn’t bring himself to say any of it. He avoided even crossing paths with Ivan for the first few days but then he realized something:

Ivan was avoiding him too. Not on purpose, it seemed, but somehow that realization was even more terrifying.

He used to do anything to get his attention - steal his things just to return them, start trivial fights, ask him to teach him about music (he never paid attention). Now he barely looked in his direction most days, too distracted with the handful of other contestants who were seemingly glued to his side.

Before, he hadn’t had any friends. Not for a lacking of trying - many people wanted to be friends with Ivan - but he had never even bothered trying to act interested.

Eventually they had stopped trying, of course, but now that had changed. It was like people could smell he was different, and they were right.

To make matters even worse, Till had overheard a few of Ivan’s conversations with some of the contestants. He wasn’t sure if Ivan meant it but when they would flirt, fluttering their eyelashes, pouting a little, Ivan would seem interested, smiling coyly.

That was possibly the most obvious sign something was very, very wrong.

Ivan didn’t do friends - not beyond what championship he had been able to forge with Till and Mizi, possibly Sua (before) - but he certainly hadn’t flirted with others.

He hadn’t even flirted with Till prior to their round, despite seemingly having some kind of feelings for him. Or maybe he had, but in unconventional ways. He certainly hadn’t been obvious about it.

(He wanted to talk to him - the real Ivan - understand what he really felt, but now he couldn’t. The Ivan of now apparently felt nothing for him.)

Could a head trauma do that? Till wasn’t educated in that kind of stuff; some of the others were, the way he was interested in music, but even they hadn’t had many chances to explore it with their limited resources. So when he asked, they simply apologized and said, honestly, “I don’t know. Maybe?”

He was grateful for the honesty but it had brought him no closer to figuring out what was going on, or how to reverse it (if that was even possible. He really hoped it was possible.)

-

Till finally reached a breaking point after Ivan won round 7.

(Since nobody had expected him to survive, and it was unprecedented, they had decided to add two new contestants to the lineup; one to go up against Till and one to go up against Ivan, extending the season to 9 rounds overall. The finale would make history as - for the first time - three contestants would go up against each other at once. Till really didn’t care about dissecting what that meant for them, in the future.)

Obviously he was glad he had won - he had been watching the broadcast with bated breath - but he had won by singing a new piece. Till felt an odd sense of comfort, hearing his voice again (maybe the only thing that hadn’t changed) but then he had started to pay closer attention to the lyrics.

And it was wrong. All wrong. Since when did Ivan sing of birds flying through clear blue skies, free and fearless? Of requited love, sweet and true?

It might’ve been his voice, but those weren’t his words. Something was wrong. Ivan was here, but he wasn’t.

Then finally Till made a realization. It was a working theory, of course, but at least it was a start.

-

It started with Till watching Ivan even closer (something he didn’t think was possible). He started to slowly notice other details that were wrong.

Just little things. Things that might not have been noticeable to other people. Like the way Ivan’s laugh was a little off (slightly too high-pitched compared to before). The way his eyes were brighter, now, but somehow lacking life at the same time.

Till realized he reminded him of a doll. Too happy. Too polite. Even Mizi - sweet as she was - hadn’t been nearly as perfect. It was unnerving.

Once - still testing his theory - Till had even spilled his soup on him during dinnertime. Just to see. Ivan had barely spared him a glance, a polite smile. “Don’t worry,” he had said before disappearing to change.

He returned with another white shirt. Laughed with everyone else at a joke that was objectively not funny.

That was when Till was certain he was on the right track. They had done something to him. It wasn’t surprising, in a way. They had experimented on Till many times before, after all, but this was different. This was Ivan; the pride and joy of the season.

It was risky to mess with him, but he supposed if it was that or his death, the aliens had weighed their options and decided this was the better outcome.

And truthfully, it had worked out for them. Ivan had gotten even more support than ever after his latest round; brands were lining up to work with him, he had a new interview being published almost every week.

But Till wouldn’t be so easily satisfied. Even if this Ivan was easier to deal with. Even if he smiled more. Till missed tussling and rolling around in the grass with him. He even missed the times Ivan would steal his things just to return them a few days later.

He missed Ivan, his friend, and possibly something more, one day. He still wasn’t sure; wouldn’t be until they could actually talk about what had happened on that stage. But either way, he would find a way to snap him out of this.

-

Easier said than done. Now it was hard to even get a moment alone with Ivan, seeing as he was always surrounded by people.

Finally Till did what he had to do (and he wasn’t exactly proud of it): he pretended to be hurt, and Ivan - this new version of him, at least - couldn’t resist the bait. He helped him to his room and stood there, seemingly unsure of what to do next. Till pretended to massage his ankle.

“Thank you,” he said, and a part of him meant it.

Whether or not this was the Ivan he knew, he still didn’t like him looking so lost. It was jarring, compared to the easy confidence he usually carried himself with. Before and after. The confidence had always been the one consistent thing across both versions of him, although it had certainly manifested in different ways.

Ivan smiled then, looking more sure of himself. That smile - bright and full as it was - still didn’t manage to quite reach his eyes. Till knew this was it. He had to take this chance and find out a way to reverse whatever they had done to him, if that was possible.

(It had to be; he didn’t know what he would do if it wasn’t.)

For now he just had to keep him here with him, separated from all the others.

“Can you sit with me for a second?” he asked, and Ivan didn’t even hesitate before joining him on the bed that felt more like a concrete slab with a blanket over it.

He even sat politely, hands together in his lap, back a perfectly straight line. He was still smiling. “Did you need anything else?”

Till hesitated for a moment, mentally scrambling for an excuse to keep him here longer. “My ankle really hurts,” he blurted, “even worse than before.” He paused, biting his lip, still thinking. Then he thought of it, the perfect excuse. “Could you maybe look at it?”

“I’m not sure I’d be able to tell you anything,” he replied despite already moving to the floor. Till watched, heart pounding in his chest, as Ivan gently touched his ankle, lifting his foot a little.

He should’ve prepared a bit more, maybe, because his ankle was perfectly fine. No bruising, no cuts. Still he winced, frowning. “It’s sore,” he said, pointing to a random spot. “Around here.”

Ivan nodded, softly running his fingers over the spot with pursed lips.

Till knew he should’ve been thinking more, formulating a plan. He couldn’t just keep Ivan here forever looking at his ankle, and he was no closer to finding out what the aliens had done (or how to reverse it.)

Until he saw it:

A ring, perfectly discreet, around Ivan’s finger. It wasn’t quite silver but an odd hue that nearly blended into the color of Ivan’s skin. Like he - or someone - hadn’t wanted others to notice it.

Till felt his heart beating a little faster. There was no way, right? Surely it couldn’t have been that easy. All these weeks - all this pain - had been caused by a ring?

“Your finger,” he said, voice thick. He hoped Ivan wouldn’t notice; he didn’t, seemingly, still focused on Till’s ankle. “Where did you get that ring?”

Now Ivan looked up. For a long moment he just stared before finally he blinked, once, glancing down at the ring around his finger. “It was a gift.”

Till nodded slowly. “From who?”

“I - ” Ivan stopped, eyebrows furrowing as he idly spun the ring around his finger. “I don’t quite remember, it seems.”

Till knew this was it. He was onto something. He slid off the bed to join Ivan on the floor; Ivan gasped, just a quick breath, gesturing at his ankle with eyes full of concern. Till didn’t know if it was real - his concern. He didn’t know what was real anymore but in this moment he liked to believe it was, as unfounded as it was.

“I’m okay,” he assured him. “I just, can I - ” How did he ask for this, he wasn’t really sure. Finally he gave up and just grabbed Ivan’s hand.

Ivan let him, even as his eyebrows furrowed again, watching as Till gently turned his hand in a few different directions. It was a simple ring, no stone or decorations. It was loose enough for Ivan to spin it around his finger with ease, but too tight to fall off by any accident.

“Do you mind…?” he asked as his fingertips brushed the ring. Surely it wouldn’t be so easy, but it was still worth a try.

Ivan blinked; there was something lost in his gaze, almost like he wasn’t quite seeing. Then suddenly he was pushing Till back with enough force he yelped as his back hit the edge of his bed.

“Don’t touch me,” he said, icily, as he stood and turned toward the door.

It was all wrong. The Ivan that had been, here, for the last few weeks would’ve never reacted like that. So aggressive and cold. That was when Till knew there was no other option: that ring had to go. Whatever was going on, it was clear the aliens had put in some kind of safety measure to keep Ivan from letting anyone take it off.

Whether or not it would magically fix everything was unimportant. It was a start, at least. Till scrambled back to his feet and grabbed Ivan by the arm, yanking as hard as he could. Ivan stumbled, for just a second, but it was enough for Till to get the upper hand he needed.

He spun them around and pushed Ivan onto his bed; he fell with a huff. Before he could fully recover, Till was on top of him, pinning his arms down by his sides. Ivan had always been stronger than him but thankfully with the element of surprise and whatever adrenaline was coursing through his veins it seemed he had managed to subdue him.

“What are you doing?” Ivan asked; his voice no longer had that icy coolness to it, but he was obviously still not happy.

Till squeezed his wrists, hard. “I know you don’t remember me or - or what happened,” flashes of that night on the stage, painful and sharp, played through his mind, “but I know you cared about me and I don’t know if you knew at the time how much I cared about you too.”

Ivan just stared up at him, unblinking. Till took a shaky breath.

“I wish I had let you known, before that night.” His eyes burned but he forced the urge to cry back, swallowing thickly. He needed to focus right now. “Maybe if you had, you wouldn’t have done what you did. Maybe we could’ve found another way. You had always been the smartest out of any of us. If anyone could’ve done it, it was you.”

Ivan finally blinked, his mouth pressing together into a thin line. Till couldn’t spend too long wondering if any of this was getting through to him. He just had to keep talking.

“Instead you felt like the only way to save me was through sacrificing yourself, and - ” It was too late; his eyes watered, blurring his vision just a little. “I was so mad at you, at first. I was so angry I was sick. You - ” Till paused, shaking his head, hard. “You had no right to do that. To decide for me what I needed.”

He paused, took another shaky breath. Ivan still didn’t say anything.

“I missed you so much, Ivan,” his voice wavered with each word. “I thought I was never going to see you again and I was so numb. I realized I cared about you, more than I ever realized and - and you weren’t even here for me when I needed you the most.” He sniffed, squeezing his wrists even tighter. “You selfish asshole.”

Finally Ivan opened his mouth to say something. His eyes looked shiny, glistening. Till didn’t even bother waiting to see what he had to say; he surged down and slammed their lips together so hard their teeth clanked together, sending a jolt of pain through his jaw.

Ivan made a small noise in the back of his throat. Surprise, maybe. Till used the moment to let go of his wrist and feel for the ring; as soon as he found it, he yanked it off without hesitation and threw it across the room. He heard the distant clattering and then Ivan was kissing him back with fervor, taking his face in his hands.

Till felt something warm in his chest - hope - as he shifted, deepening the kiss. He was almost afraid to stop, afraid that he’d been wrong and nothing would be changed. Afraid he was kissing a stranger, not the Ivan he knew and desperately needed back.

But finally he had no choice; he pulled back and stared down at Ivan, eyes half-lidded, mouth wet and swollen from the aggressive kissing.

“Please,” he whispered. “Please say something.”

Ivan blinked, some clarity seeming to return to his eyes. His tongue poked out, licking at the corner of his mouth where there was just the smallest spot of blood, probably Till’s fault.

“I’m sorry,” he said, and for a moment Till felt the world stop. He had failed. But then Ivan’s hands were at his sides, holding on gently. “I never even considered how you would feel.”

Till sniffed, waited. Didn’t want to get his hopes up too much.

“I can’t even lie and say I thought you wouldn’t care.” Ivan smiled, a small thing. It was nothing like the fake smiles he’d been giving for weeks now. “Because you’re you, and you care more than you let on.”

He didn’t even realize he was shaking until Ivan smoothed a hand down his back, trying to calm him.

“But one of us had to die up there, didn’t they?” Ivan’s hand stopped, low on his back. He let out a soft sigh. “And it couldn’t be you. I couldn’t let that happen.”

Till swallowed around the lump in his throat, almost too big to breathe. “You kissed me,” he said. It wasn’t an accusation, just a quiet acknowledgment. “You asshole, you kissed me and then left me here to try and pick up all the pieces by myself.”

He wasn’t really angry.

“And you just kissed me,” Ivan said, slowly. “Good way to distract me, hm?”

Till couldn’t do this. He couldn’t let things go unsaid between them, not after everything. What if something happened again? What if this was his only chance?

“I did use it as a distraction,” he admitted, but then, “I’d been thinking about it for a while.”

Ivan’s hand twitched against his back. “You had this plan for that long?”

“No,” Till answered truthfully before leaning down a little; their noses were only a couple inches from touching. “You should’ve told me, Ivan. Given me a chance to decide what I really wanted.”

Ivan stared back at him, unwavering. “You wouldn’t have chosen me,” he said with a confidence that sent a pang through Till’s chest, and maybe he would’ve been right, once upon a time, but things were so different now.

They could never go back and change the past, as much as Till wanted to, but the least he could do was be honest with himself moving forward.

“Maybe not back then,” he admitted, because he wasn’t fond of lying and it felt important to be honest here. “But I’m not the person I was back then, am I?”

Ivan gazed up at him with an intensity that made him shiver. “No,” he agreed. “I suppose you aren’t. Because you never would’ve gone through this much trouble for me, before.”

“I always cared about you, Ivan,” he replied, softening his voice, needing him to hear it. “I think I just didn’t know how much.”

Ivan opened his mouth, closed it. Till didn’t know what he was going to say, but that was okay. He wouldn’t push it. They had a lot to figure out over the next few hours - like how they were going to hide Ivan breaking through whatever the aliens had done to him, or if they even could hide it because Till didn’t want to risk putting the ring back on, or even where they stood as friends or more - but for now none of that mattered.

Ivan was back, he was here with him, gazing up at him like he used to, when he used to think Till was never looking (and he wasn’t, most of the time, but not all the time.) And Till knew he would do anything to ensure he never left him again.

[ivanttakethis]

Till has to have known Ivan had a crush on him right. He's not that oblivious. He didn't think Ivan was trying just to bro it out with him like bros do right. He didn't think they were just pals palling around. He didn't think that his very much straight friend Ivan was just asking for a kissy right.

I feel like this Alien Stage Friday post is going to come back to haunt us later

THIS ALIEN STAGE FRIDAY IS GONNA HAUNT ME FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!!!!1!!

Source

Honestly, I don’t know WHAT is rattling around in Till’s skull.

He may not know that Ivan likes him in the same way that he likes Mizi, but I hope he doesn’t think this is average bro behavior 💀

Kissing your guy friends isn’t just “guys being dudes” Till! That’s guys being gay!! (Or bisexual, at the very least)

And also, what the FUCK Ivan?!?

You think the guy who considered KISSING YOU as a BIRTHDAY PRESENT doesn’t care about you AT ALL????? 🤨

Till wasn’t in Anakt Garden chatting it up with fucking Acorn like “Yeah bro when’s your birthday? I’ll kiss you on the mouth as a gift, no tongue tho.” IT’S JUST YOU.

If any other guy even thought about asking Till to kiss them, he would probably punch their lights out. Actually, I’m surprised he didn’t punch YOUR lights out!!

But the fact that he didn’t means SOMETHING!!!

You think Till wouldn’t be TRAUMATIZED over you SACRIFICING YOURSELF FOR HIM after KISSING HIM LIKE YOU ASKED FOR YEARS AGO?????????? LIKE HE’S NOT GONNA REMEMBER THAT SHIT?????????

[ivanttakethis]

WHAT R UR FAV ALNST THEORIES/ ANALYSES!?!?!!

GREAT QUESTION ANON!!!

These my favorite theories in no particular order, with some of my own personal theories mixed in.

Most of these are about Ivan, but he’s my favorite character so yeah lol.

Long post under the cut. Let’s go!!

1. IVAN IS ALIVE (yes, the capitalization is necessary)

I believe this one for a few reasons:

- We haven’t seen any official art about Ivan’s death (which is inch resting imo)

- At one point, there was a post/comment/rumor that Vivinos/QMENG (not sure which) said no one else was going to die after Sua (of course now I can’t find where I initially saw this, so take it with a grain of salt). This could’ve been said to mislead us or maybe they changed their minds later on, but I’m still holding onto this — assuming the statement was made/is true.

- Ivan didn’t get shot in the head. If they wanted to kill him to stop him from “hurting” Till, why waste bullets on shooting him several times in non-lethal places when they could’ve just sniped him one time in the head or neck and been done with it?

- Ivan’s owner Unsha is an alien underworld mobster who has a rivalry with Till’s owner Urak. I don’t think Unsha would take Till (and by extension Urak) “winning” Round 6 in the way he did lightly enough to let Ivan rest without a rematch. But maybe he’s not as petty as I would be idk.

- I’m delusional 🙂

2. Luka isn’t branded.

- This is one of my theories. I think Luka doesn’t have his name branded anywhere on him because he was grown in a lab.

- If the aliens are capable of growing humans, they probably also have the ability to “edit” or design them however they wish. They could’ve made Luka into the perfect Alien Stage contestant: beautiful, musically talented, charming, eternally youthful, but also cunning and cutthroat.

- I think they made him obedient on a fundamental level, more obedient than Ivan or Sua. It’s part of his DNA.

- He’s incapable of rebelling, so there’s no need to brand him. There’s no need for a reminder of who’s in charge because Luka wouldn’t step out of line in the first place.

3. Sua was turned into an android.

- Based on this official art that continues to haunt me.

- Also this post about Vivinos saying Sua will appear again “no matter what form she takes” makes me go hmm 🤔

- If Mizi and Hyuna get captured, I could see android Sua being brought in to break down Mizi as some sort of psychological torture method. (Wow, that got dark. Anyways…)

4. Ivan will appear in the 10th video in the series.

- I talked about my reasoning behind this theory here, but to summarize: the three numbers in this pic with Ivan could represent Round 3 and Round 6, which he appeared in both, and the 10 could represent him appearing in the 10th video in the series. This also ties into theory #1 on this list (IVAN IS ALIVE)

- This is one of my favorite theories because it gives me big “cork board and red string” conspiracy vibes lol

5. Ivan has a connection to the wagyeins.

- Based on the official art we have of Ivan being close with a wagyein as a child. I did a mini-analysis about their relationship in this post.

- Ivan also has some of similarities to the wagyein that we don’t see in any other humans (red pupils, sharp tooth, etc.)

6. Ivan was experimented on.

- Another one of my personal theories is that Ivan was experimented on, though not to the extent that Till was.

- This might explain why he was able to tank like three bullets without flinching much in Round 6.

- And also why his blood might be a different color, as mentioned in this post.

Finally, and perhaps most devastatingly:

7. Till did look at Ivan, he just didn’t notice.

- I think Ivan is an unreliable narrator who is deeply self-deprecating and always sees the worst in himself. And because both Round 3 and Round 6 focused heavily on Ivan’s perspective, we as the audience end up seeing the world how he saw it, rather than how it actually was.

- Ivan thinks that Till never noticed him, but I think he did. Just— not when Ivan was looking. There’s some art/screenshots to back this up too (his eyes being closed in some of these 😭).

Those are all my favorite theories as of now, but I’m sure there’ll be more in the future.

Thank you for the ask anon!

[ivanttakethis]

I love that weird two-headed alien thing in Anakt Garden so much and especially that pic of ivan resting in its jaw. I know the picture isn't intended to be cute but when I see it I just think of when mother crocodiles scoop up their babies in their mouths to carry them. Ivan was that things little buddy

I do too! It’s one of my favorite pieces of official art. They just look so cute!! I love that you called Ivan the wagyein’s little buddy 🥹

You’re right about mother crocodiles, I never thought of it that way before. Maybe the wagyein saw Ivan as its baby? Or rather, something that needed its protection?

Another thing I love is how there are so many ways to interpret what the picture means.

Perhaps we’re meant to focus on the similarities between the two: red eyes, prominent teeth/tooth, obedient, monstrous (the wagyein literally and Ivan metaphorically).

Or it could be Ivan symbolically surrendering to the ugly parts of his inner self.

I like to think the picture shows an understanding between them.

They are both odd and somewhat solitary creatures, misunderstood by others. There are ugly parts in each of them that they can’t hide. But they find comfort in one another.

Ivan, resting in the wagyein’s mouth surrounded by all of its teeth, is extremely vulnerable; which we rarely if ever see him be at any other time in the series. The wagyein is also vulnerable to any attack beyond its teeth, throat, etc.

The fact that Ivan isn’t afraid of getting torn to shreds by the beast and the wagyein let Ivan so close suggests that there’s a level of mutual trust as well.

I wonder how Ivan felt when he gained the wagyein’s trust.

We know he struggled to connect with his classmates. Did he feel further ostracized when he had an easier time connecting to some sort of alien creature than other humans?

Did he see too many of his own features in the wagyein (red eyes, sharp teeth, and so on) to even think he was as human as the other children?

Maybe that’s where the idea of Ivan as a monster came from.

I firmly believe the similarities between the two were intentional.

[ivanttakethis]

as the #1 ivan mischaracterization defender, what do you think of seme top yaoi nepo baby ivan

So glad to finally be addressed by my proper rank, thank you anon 🫡

I’ll break down this characterization into parts:

Seme: Ivan is NOT seme-coded, he’s just a babygirl!

Like, ignore him being tall and well built for a second. That man is not domineering at all!!

Look at him!!! (and I say this with love btw) (+0 points)

Top: He’d be into whatever Till is into (not him lol), so this could go either way. (+0.5 points)

Yaoi: Factually accurate. He’s 100% gay. He invented being gay, actually. (+1 point)

Nepo Baby: Considering his owner is a mob boss of the alien underworld, Ivan is not beating the nepo baby allegations I fear. (+1 point)

Overall this characterization gets a 2.5 out of 4 Black Sorrows 🖤

[ivanttakethis]

"I can't believe the first time we see him cry is when he's dying" Wrong! The first time we see him crying is when he's ABOUT to die as a child! Hope this helps!

You will start coughing in 7 days.

[ivanttakethis]

Glad to see my works are well received :)

Absolutely! The color choices for the words were fantastic. Your post also got me thinking more about how Round 7 might go.

You mentioned a coming eclipse, and originally I assumed that Luka would be the moon, since we’ve seen him with moon motifs before, and Till would be the sun. But now I think there’s a good case for the roles being switched. Your reference to gold and silver also fueled this idea.

Luka is personified gold; his hair, his eyes, even the moon set behind him in Round 5 is tinted gold. He is the reigning champion of his season, by all accounts a gold medalist. And he’s radiant and captivating, much like the sun.

On the other hand, Till is personified silver; his hair, his piercings, the collar around his neck. He’s sharp and biting like the edge of a blade. They make swords out of silver. He could be a weapon if he wanted to. But to Till, he is the moon to Mizi’s sun. He only shines because of her.

(Maybe Till will embrace his Black Sorrow era and wear all black to contrast Luka’s all white outfit.)

I have a feeling that whoever represents the moon will win Round 7 (if the round goes as planned), but that’s most based on this art that’s been knocking around in my brain for a bit. I want it to mean something real bad lol.

Thank you for sharing your work! It was lovely to read 🖤

[ivanttakethis]

no no unsha just isn't AWARE (also in denial)

At this point, Ivan’s only hope is these two:

[ivanttakethis]

thoughts on freak (said with affection) ivan?

Oh Ivan is 100% a freak. Always on some freak shit. Nobody can match his freak. His freak level is over 9000.

I don’t even think most of his freak tendencies are a result of his life circumstances (idk how to connect the whole blood licking thing to like, some sort of trauma). I think he just… came here like that.

Even if you took Ivan out of the canon universe, the freak would still be there. A modern day coffee shop au would not un-freak this man.

10/10 characterization. No notes.

[ivanttakethis]

You once said you thought Ivan would only resort to violence to protect Till. What scenario do you think would cause that to happen?

I think Ivan would only use violence when someone was actively harming Till. Like Ivan seeing Till getting beat up and being able to intervene.

Though he probably wouldn’t beat the aggressor until they no longer posed any kind of threat, like Till or Mizi might.

Ivan strikes me as the kind of person to react with violence only insofar as it draws attention away from whoever he’s trying to protect and onto himself.

Yeah that means he’ll get beat up too, but as long as Till is safe he wouldn’t mind.

However, if there was simply a threat of violence, he’d probably just put himself between Till and the aggressor (because he has no sense of self-preservation when it comes to Till).

[ivanttakethis]

You said that you liked that one image of Ivan looking annoyed because he looked genuine/he didn't seem to be trying to mask his natural expression, so I was wondering if you've seen this guest art by ANIYA (Ivan had a few guest artists that you can see in his wiki gallery. I'm not sure if these people work for Studio Lico or if the artwork was even posted for Alien Stage Friday or Twitter, but they're on the Wiki so I'm guessing they're official).

Honestly I think it might be one of my favorite pictures of him that we've gotten outside of the videos. He just looks tired... maybe this was him before he adopted his "Charming Prince" persona?

I’ve never seen this one! You’re right about him looking tired. He looks pretty young, so maybe this was around the time he was adopted? 🤔

I think the lines around Ivan’s eyes in these “natural” expression artworks that make him feel more… endearing? Real? Not sure of the right word to use.

Nevertheless, it’s an interesting juxtaposition between these works and how we usually see Ivan.