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#ive always headcanon Thomas takes care of his little weirdos and convicted criminals. i.e everyone from Scavenger.
i-bring-crack · 2 months
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Scavenger Guild Incorrect Quotes (plus Christopher):
For context: Emma Laurent is a newly created Solo Leveling Arise character (Edit: NOW I have an idea... She isn't part of the scavengers but eh, we gonna ignore that right here. Alicia Blanche is said to be her friend.)(I just wanted to make more Scavenger related things so hurt future me if everything i said here was wrong. Edit: It was lmao.)
Laura: Someone care to explain why we have 6 dogs in our apartment?
Thomas Andre: They're golden retrievers, dude. They retrieve gold. I did this for us.
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Thomas Andre: I’m not mad, I just need to know why you two had a fake ID.
Emma Laurent: *Incoherent mumbling*
Thomas Andre: Huh?
Alicia Blanche: …You need to be 18 to hold the puppies at PetCo.
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Christopher Reed, Entering Thomas Andre's room: Hwang Dongsoo did it again.
Thomas Andre: Peace disturbance?
Christopher Reed: What no-
Thomas Andre: Arson..?
Christopher Reed: NO, JESUS CHRIST, HOW MANY-
Thomas Andre: uh....Attempted murder?
Christopher Reed: NO, THEY ATE ALL THE FOOD IN THE FRIDGE, BUT WHAT THE FU-
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Emma Laurent: Seriously, I have no idea what to do.
Emma Laurent: Oh, wait! Yahoo! Answers.
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Thomas Andre: The best part of an oreo is the cookie part, not the frosting. Deal with it.
Laura: Darkness without light is an abyss. Light without darkness is blinding. You cannot have a coin with one side.
Hwang Dongsoo: YO SOCRATES! IT'S A FUCKING COOKIE!
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Police: You’re under arrest for trying to carry three people on a single motorcycle.
Thomas Andre, with Laura and Christopher Reed behind them: Wait, what do you mean THREE?!
Police: Yes…three.
Thomas Andre: Oh, my God— What the fuck!?
Police: Wha-
Thomas Andre: Hwang Dongsoo FUCKING FELL OFF!
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Hwang Dongsoo: Hey, do you know the password to Laura’s computer?
Christopher Reed: Fuck you, Hwang Dongsoo.
Hwang Dongsoo: Hey!!
Christopher Reed: No, you misunderstood, the password is "fuckyouHwangDongsoo".
Hwang Dongsoo: Oh, no numbers? Not very safe.
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Hwang Dongsoo: You bought a taco?
Emma Laurent: Yes.
Hwang Dongsoo: From the same truck that hit Thomas Andre?!
Emma Laurent, with a mouthful of taco: Well, me starving ain't gonna help them.
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Thomas Andre: Christopher Reed, my old friend!
Christopher Reed: I think you tried to kill me at some point.
Thomas Andre: That was obviously just my way of getting to know you.
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Christopher Reed: It’s not that I don’t trust Thomas Andre, I just... don’t ’t trust their impulse control.
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Emma Laurent: The clock is ticking! We don't have time for this asinine tomfoolery!
Thomas Andre: This unmitigated poppycock?
Christopher Reed: Extravagant hogwash!
Emma Laurent: Okay, stop.
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Emma Laurent: That’s the key slice of truth we need to complete the entire truth pie.
Thomas Andre: Ooh, can we get some actual pie?
Emma Laurent: I like the way you think.
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Laura: What’s wrong? You look 10 seconds away from ripping someone’s throat out.
Hwang Dongsoo: Fucking Thomas Andre and Emma Laurent were trying to invoke one of the minor gods again last night. I didn't get an ounce of sleep, thanks to their bloody chanting.
*They were doing Karaoke night.*
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Emma Laurent: Laura, gather the others. We need to have another Hwang Dongsoo-is-doing-something-stupid-again-and-we-have-to-stop-them-before-they-hurt-someone convention.
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Laura: What do we say when making bread?
Emma Laurent, glumly: That's the dough rising.
Laura: And what do we NOT say?
Thomas Andre, sadly: That's the yeast fucking.
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Emma Laurent: So, everyone, what does a story NEED?
Alicia Blanche: A character!
Christopher Reed: A setting!
Hwang Dongsoo, a gleam in their eyes, in a near-whisper: REVENGE.
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Hwang Dongsoo: WHO THE FUCK-
Laura: Whoa, language!
Hwang Dongsoo: I speak fucking English!
Laura: ...
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Emma Laurent, in a high voice, holding Barbie: Hey, Ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career!
Alicia Blanche, in a deep voice, holding Ken: Nonsense, Barbie. You’re staying home and having my kids.
Laura: What the fuck are you guys doing?
Emma Laurent: Playing systemic oppression.
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Alicia Blanche: The first time I ever got upset in front of Thomas Andre, they put their arms around me and it was so awkward that I had to ask them if they were hugging me or reaching for something on the shelf behind me.
Thomas Andre: I was doing both, for your information.
Emma Laurent: The first time Thomas Andre hugged me, it was such a disaster we didn’t make eye contact for, like, a week after.
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