#ive been scared to share my fics on my main account..... what if they know.... i write cringe.....

[arachnits]

in my soriku doodle dump some of the tags expressed interest in this one so i decided to break down my walls and share with everyone

theyre from my fics ive written: pink being for (dearly) beloved boy and blue-gray for heavy heart to carry! theyre both very tonally different but i still wanted to draw them on the same canvas lol

[boba-beom]

Angel 💕,

I am sending this to you so late I’m so sorry 😞

I love that! I think it’s totally understandable to have something outside of your irl. Aww I love how you got into writing and tumblr I’m so glad you did!!! 🥺🥺

As for me ever since I can remember I was a reader I loved reading. My mom told me I loved telling stories when I was little like really really little (I am a talker and have always been hehe) the first time I got into reading was in first grade. I remember I got picked on by a teacher for not being able to read Greek very well and I would pause every few words. I was the only foreigner in the class so it was easy to get picked on lol. I remember going back home and telling my mom to go to a store that had books and I got lots of books so I can practice. I practiced really hard. Unfortunately I grew up as the child that moved schools a lot so from kindergarten to the 3rd grade I moved schools 4 times. When my family moved to the states I was in that same cycle of not knowing how to read. Remember sitting in my fourth grade class and being scared I would get picked on. But it was different people in my class helped me and didn’t make fun of me or bully me for not knowing how to read English. I think I recently mentioned how my 6th grade English teacher is the main reason I read so much today. I remember being in her class and always getting a new book to read. During 6th grade is when I stumbled upon wattpad…I am not proud of myself for reading stuff I wasn’t supposed to😩😞 I had no one to tell me what I was doing was wrong. I remember being so obsessed with wattpad the first story I ever read on there was the Lavery twins (IF ANYONE KNOWS IT I LOVE YOU). That was tame when I got into hs I started reading more and more filthy books. I remember my first ever creative assignment I had to do for ap lit I loved it so much. Being able to create something out of my imagination really touched something in me. At one point of my hs career I wanted to become a journalist lol. I think reading and getting to escape our reality for a while is something that relaxes me and I enjoy a lot.

How I got to tumblr…I first created tumblr back in 2017 for my exo fan account 😭 but didn’t know how to use it so I left it and came back in 2021. I came mainly for txt fics it was the same time I came across the fic hub and I joined it. The person I got inspiration from and made me actually wanna write my first fic was actually…you! Like I said you’ve been by my side through thick and thin and I can never thank you enough. I love writing and I love reading ive just taken a break from both in the last few weeks. But yeah that was a lot I’m so sorry 😩😩😩

Hi Angel!! It’s so cute how you found other Filipino moas on tumblr 🥺💕 The way you all found out because of yeonjun as well 🙈🙈🙈 Funny story after you told me today that you found other Filipino moas I got curious so I was like let me see if I can find any of my people as moas 😩 none I searched up on tumblr and Twitter and nothing came up so I replaced moas with kpop and found a few accounts that commented and I was like I FOUND MY PEOPLE….the latest comment was from 2021. I bet you were so excited 🥳🤭

my reply under the cut <3

aw angie :< that must've been difficult being on the move a lot esp when you were younger but I'm so glad your classmates helped you read english! I remember being on wattpad not for long because I lost touch with my kpop stan side from high-school to early college, and then uni got me back into it again bc I wanted to keep reading txt stuff.

omg wait :<< I'm super honoured that I inspired you enough to start writing, I remember actually talking you through just before you did, and then you did it!! I can certainly tell that you enjoy writing and that your imagination goes beyond you, so I'm honestly grateful you shared your story <3 may you find more inspiration to continue doing what you do bby, always gonna here to support you and help you out >3<

alsooo, yes! there's more filo moas than I thought! they're like hidden gems hehe, what were the chances a couple of them are my moots! 🤭 aw love, I'm sure regardless, all moas are lovely! it's just a little exciting when you find your people hehe

[first-only]

Despite the fact that I am getting more comfortable with being SaLS on main, I still get incredibly anxious when I get an anti message

I'm just so scared to have a callout post written about me, and you can never know who will or wont try to set you up for harassment (especially if they are an anti) It doesn't help that I'm incredibly anxious and paranoid a lot of the time

congrats on getting more comfy!! and yeah anxiety is a bitch but i believe in you! at some point you kinda get callous and desensitized to random messages lol

i dont mean to make it worse at all, and if that line of thinking doesnt work for you i apologize, but here's a few things ive picked up over the years:

it doesnt like... /really/ matter what you post. things that you or a wider audience consider "problematic" arent the only way you can get "cancelled". like i got called racist for pointing out that two phrases in different languages can be translated in the same way in english. like literally ranting in the tags about my own language ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ so for people determined to look and sift for 'material' it wont really make a difference if youre posting incest fic or like.. oogling over the celebrity of the day, they just wanna pick a fight. so do what makes you happy anyway, it wont give them teeth if you dont worry about the content yourself. bc yeah it doesnt matter on the internet if you post fic or just aesthetics, they have the same 'moral' value and if you dont assign them different weights then someone else doing it shouldnt bother you either

in the.. absolute best gentlest and encouraging way to say this. you and like. all of us are just some randos on the internet. the chances of someone leading a /personalized/ harassment campaign against you, or even someone finding you that juicy of a target to have more people message you is like. /really/ low. even if you get messages from time to time, a whole ass campaign is unlikely unless you have a lot of followers/are a BNF/are the lead content creator for a rival ship to the main one (bc lets be real all this is one giant ship war at the end of the day)

callouts or "block" lists are usually mass things in my xp. like you get put among 20 other usernames and then you bond w the others over the experience and are happy that you found new likeminded mutuals. the amount of times ive followed an entire list of ~problematics ive been featured in lol. its ironically a bonding experience and with a few blocks out of the way its kinda.. positive in the best case?

and really. really. i might be like. a bit too callous but at this point. even if there is a harassment campaign. even if you get a huge callout. even if half tumblr blocks you. so what? block out the haters, lie in with the mutuals, vent to some side friends. and just. keep going. so what if a bunch of rabid antis are raging out of their skin because youre having fun and trying to tell the other antis that youre having fun. yes you are. so what. what are they gonna do, make fifty accounts? send more anons? catch even more blocks? (reminder that if you block someone on anon it catches their entire ip so they cant make more accs to harass you). like yes, take precaution not to get doxxed (no sharing of identifying info, including where you live) but thats common safety anyway, and most antis arent tech savvy enough to dox anyway. you'll be fine. even if an account gets mass reported you can always write down mutuals' urls and start over (my own mutuals have a lot of experience, the propara community is fun lol) you can still share content, have fun, be yourself. its not a deadly situation. not to be 'the internet isnt real life it doesnt matter' bc yeah it can very much be anxiety inducing and horrible, but at the same time taking a step back yourself and evaluating the situation can help a lot with emotional regulation (just like in real life! some relationships are worth stepping away from, or getting less invested into if they become toxic)

so yeah thats my general view of the problem, again brains are weird and no two work the same, but these things help me and make me feel better, so hopefully if not you personally they might soothe someone in general ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

really hoping you find your community and comfort anon. fandom is a great place with it and a barren wasteland without, but imo its worth sharing even if for that one thrill /you/ get when someone likes it or when you find some gem

[myaoiboy]

heyy sorry dunno if ur ok with ppl asking for advice, but ive been on the twitter mgs fandom for a little while (mostly as a watcher rather than participating other than liking, rting and occasionally commenting or posting some art) and after a while i realized (a bit too late) that quite a few people that i interacted with are aggressively anti and i dont know how to pull away from them now.

Some were mutuals, i stopped following most of them but they still follow me and im not sure if i should just ignore it or whatever. My main account is very clean when it comes to pro/anti discussion and NSFW in general, altho i do like/rt/discuss a lot of anime art and media that has some questionable content in it (like the monogatari series for example)

Anyway, im just a bit scared they might see these "cracks" and it gets to a point of agression/exclusion/doxxing etc and im a bit terrified of that. Sorry if this sounds dumb, but could i ask you what you experience with the mgs fandom is like on twitter? Have you ever been in a similar situation?

It's totally cool to ask for advice! I'm not sure how much help I'll be though.

I have a twitter that's mostly MGS-focused, but I've been building up defenses against the anti movement for a long time before that. I used to be mutuals with someone who was a really notorious asshole twitter anti, actually. I broke that when they started publicly slandering me, but before they could actually dox me, and they still followed me on side accounts for a couple years after that. I got very careful about vetting who I regularly interact with after that.

I got lucky dropping into MGS fandom, I've found a bunch of people who enjoy freaky stuff as much as I do. But I also had one of those friends get doxxed a while back over ship discourse that was spun as something much worse.

Personally, if I see a callout post and it looks fishy (only includes accusations of fic or art, etc), I will a lot of times block everyone that's retweeted or liked it. It's made me sad a couple of times to break mutuals, but I know I'm saving myself the pain later of potentially seeing them fall for it with me. This, when my friend got doxxed, ended up causing me to block like half of the twitter MGS fandom ngl.

Honestly, my secret to not accidentally making full on anti friends is that when I get into a new fandom, I look up their discourse and who antis say shouldn't be shipped together. Then I look and see who makes art/fic of those ships. If I don't like those ships specifically, I find people who ship both that and whatever I like. Usually I end up liking one or more of them anyways (solimiller...). Or I'll go through that fandom's fics with warnings on them and check out those authors' other works.

That's how I keep accidentally meeting a lot of people in fandom, it turns out. I read a fic, I look at the author's other works or their profile, it has a social media handle, or a discord link, or whatever else, next thing I know I'm talking to them and 5 more people they recommended about whatever freaky kink I found of theirs.

I do actually have a (mostly nsfw) discord link that I would share here, but given some of the weird interactions I've gotten tonight I'm gonna wait a couple days before I post it publicly. It's fandom neutral technically but a lot of us like our war boys (mgs/cod mostly). But uhhh if anybody sees this and wants in feel free to dm me/send an off-anon ask and I'll slip ya a link real quiet.

I warn people some of the heavier content that I regularly post as well, even though I don't explicitly use any discourse labels, but honestly the biggest thing is just pulling your interactions like weeds. People on the internet are, mostly, strangers. You don't like someone's vibes? You can block 'em. You see them being a dick to someone else and don't wanna risk them doing the same to you ? Definitely block. Someone makes posts you don't like and it keeps filling up the tags you frequent? You can block that!

[ruby-whistler]

Are you normal or do u sometimes go "IVE BEEN SCARED OF SLEEPING WITH THE LIGHTS ON(off? Idk its hard to decipher)"/lyrics -curious anon

me: oh boy, can't wait to try and make a tumblr blog! Before i do i should research it- *what in the hecking heck is an xkit*

djskdjsk i had no idea what an xkit was until yesterday and when i got it i got too confused and uninstalled it - dw curious anon i don’t use it either i just vibe and do whatever i guess. if you tag correctly and make good posts things should work out, can’t wait to see your acc around!

I got some sad-ist merch :DDD!!

yooo!! that’s so pog for you! it’s probably pretty comfy :D

me standing ominously in your askbox waiting to rec my fav fics:

fjsjdjsk i literally just finished passerine i still have 80 more (some of which are like 300k words long) on my to-read but uh if they have c!dream mischaracterized i’ll not be reading them anyways so it’s very hit-or-miss, will probably get through some of them quicker-

After many moons spent under the dsmp, seeing discourse and analysis alike, i have come to the conclusion i simply do not have the energy to care about any lore outside of c!tubbo and c!tommy's and will only defend them. And that is ok. It is ok to not watch or care about all dsmp or want to discourse about them or analyze. Idk man was thinking deep thoughts today

it’s ok to watch entertainment and enjoy it the way you want to! it’s great to want to enjoy or talk about your fav character!

the problems come up when you attack other people for their perspectives on the medium or spread misinformation about different characters based on only watching the perspective you like, but you know - if you’re not doing analysis, you really don’t need to look that deep into it.

it’s ok to just chill. your feelings about characters are valid! :D so yeah i agree with you! let people with different opinions exist if they’re also being respectful (e. g. tagging correctly).

Hey ik u worked with animgician's newest vid and i found a not-crit (i rlly think) little thought on it if u wanna see it

yoo feel free to send it in!!

No one: me: *shuffles around* wanna hear about my cool warden c!tommy au?

may i interest u in a little bit of my writing? If not that is ok i just wanna see if my writing is any good before working on a fic lol

Anyways if i am not in the askbox for a little it is because i am now writing a proper fic thing out. Wish me luck o7 -curious anon (i have three different lyrics i am going to be incorporating and a little analysis and just a smidgen of projection)

Ruby do u wanna read a little something i wrote? *does the little fingers thing* its really short just a headcanon with a little prose

i sure do! that sounds rlly cool - are you sure you don't wanna make a post about that on your own account though? i don't mind seeing it at all but i think the c!tommy tag would be able to appreciate that au better than my followers. you've gotta find the right target audience, y'know? /lh

though of course i'd love to see your writing, i'm sure it's great! looking forward to it :]

Ayo i remembered u talking about how punitive punishment doesn't work the other day so i want to discuss. What would u consider to be a fitting "punishment" for c!dream's canonic killing of mexican dream?/gen

i mean... we're not trying to - being against punitive justice is about the fact punishment is wrong, not just certain types of it. asking me what a "fitting punishment" would be is sort of very not getting the point.

hurting people further is not going to teach them anything and it’s not going to help anyone, why is it necessary?

so the answer is: none. he shouldn’t be punished, actually! he should learn on his own that what he did wasn’t right, and that’s about it. that’s the thing about transformative justice. him becoming a better person who Wouldn’t Do That again because it goes against who he is.

however, there’s also restorative justice, which is working to “make it up” to the victims. to which i propose; dream has the revival book and could literally bring him back once he is out of the prison. give him some powder maybe. md would probably be chill w/ that.

Yknow. In all my time in dsmpblr i can confidently say that the main differnece between c!dream apologist/enthusiants and c!wilbur/sam ones is that the c!wilbur/c!sam ones want their fav to have a breakdown and c!dream ones want theirs to get positive reinforcement /hj /lh

i’m pretty sure the sam and wil ones also want them to get better/get redeemed, at least deep down, but i get what you mean! you’re *glances at the 🟩⛏ gc where all we do 24/7 is write angst about c!dream being terribly hurt and then we cry about it* 100% correct. no angsters who like the pain here *nervously laughs* we all just want him to heal and be happy for the rest of his life with no heart-shattering breakdowns whatsoever! /s /lh

Hope ur having a great day m8 :]] -curious anon (also i have a new canon fact i wanna share. In quackity's alt lore stream yesterday he said (to the best of my memory) that "no law/juridsiction exists on the dream smp to prevent one from building anywhere" so i guess that clears up the big debate on wheather or not c!dream had a right to enforce rules (or basically the arguement that he owned the server by divine rule)

no i’m - i’m pretty sure that’s just how it works. dream still owns the smp, but he himself has said wayy back at the beginning “everyone can build and go wherever they want” and that was that. it was one of his rules on the smp, it was his main problem with l’manberg. being able to build anywhere were the rules that he “had the right” to enforce. and he did, not because he was a god, but because it was his smp, his home that he claimed for his friends. wouldn’t call it a big debate, it’s really that simple.

.AGONY. HURT EVEN. THIS IS HOW IT IS FOR CURIOUS ANON. I LAUGH, I CRY, I FIND AN ANIMATED GIF ON TWITTER THAT SQUEEZES MY C!TOMMY ENJOYER HEART INTO OBLIVION. (i am being dramatic btw for the funnies just so ya know) I AM NOT GOING TO FINANICALLY RECOVER FROM THIS. AAAAAAAAAAA UEEEEEEE

OK THAT FREAKING

O U C H-

also for the old phil ask. Hes a bad dad because of how he treated ghostbur. I will elaborate if u want

didn’t ghostbur just say “i’m not wilbur” and philza said “you’re not my son” and they went on with their day? weren’t they actually in agreement that he wasn’t the same as wil when he was alive? i don’t remember him really treating him badly tbh other than disowning him which seems fair to me, because ghostbur was a literal stranger to phil at that point?

wish you a nice day, curious anon! (i’ll be back on my essays and answering other asks now, so i might not reply right away :])