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dingochef · 11 months

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Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x You (OFC)

Warnings: Swearing, Smut (MDNI 18+ Only), Stalking, P in V, oral (female and male receiving), Semi-public sex, light spanking, light bondage, blindfolds

Summary: Even though you should be the belle of the Annual Top Gun Navy Ball, you're more of a brat and Jake enjoys every minute of the teasing and the consequences later.

Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Chapter 12

Word Count: 5.5k

Chapter 13: Belle or Brat?

Your Hallmark movie of a Thanksgiving trip to meet Jake's family ends Saturday at the Austin airport. Tom and Sharon have driven you and Jake to the airport and are giving you hugs and goodbyes on the curb.

Sharon is beaming when she goes to give you a hug,

"It has been so good to get to know you. I couldn't be happier that you and Jake found each other. We'll see you guys sooner than later. Take care, Elsa."

"Sharon, thank you for the wonderful time and being so welcoming. It was honestly one of the best holidays I've had in a long time."

Tom gives you a hug and you overhear Sharon talking to Jake as she hugs him goodbye.

"Love you, Jakey. Hold on to her," Sharon tells Jake.

"Love you too. I will, Mom. Don't worry."

The flight is uneventful and soon the plane is starting the intense descent into San Diego. You grab an Uber and head home, breathing in a sigh of relief as you unlocking your front door and step inside.

"Home sweet home," you say walking in. You look through the mail and think of the upcoming week. Nothing too insane for work and then the Navy Ball for the Top Gun team and a few other departments at North Island this coming Saturday.

When you and Jake had discussed it a few months ago you were unfamiliar with the concept of military ball.

"Have you ever been to one before?" you asked Jake.

"Yes, they're pretty standard throughout the Navy. I've never brought a date though. Seemed like a lot to ask someone I was only casual with. So, I'm excited to have you on my arm with me at this one."

"What am I supposed to wear?"

"Probably a fancy dress, evening gown thingy?"

You laughed,

"Very helpful."

"Cyclone said his wife would be available to take you and Lydia to a dress shop that's pretty good for these types of things."

"That'd be helpful, does Mrs. Cyclone have a name?"

Jake laughed and flipped through his phone,

"Maddie Simpson, I sent you her contact info."

–

The week before the ball flows along as expected, work is busy but not too much. The schematics for Darkstar 2.0 are getting finalized. Lydia and you meet Friday after work for pedicures and manicures to get all dolled up for the ball tomorrow. You select a light pink for your toes and a golden beige for your nails, keeping it subtle. You and Lydia chat and exchange info on what to expect tomorrow.

"Rooster said to be prepared for a whole bunch of speeches, so his advice was to hold off your bathroom break till the middle of those," Lydia reports.

"Jake mentioned there's a receiving line where we get to meet all the big wigs," you offer up your bit of intel.

"It sounds like a prom mashed with a wedding."

"Well, it sounds like this won't be the only one we attend."

She gets a dreamy look on her face, "Yeah, I think these guys are sticking around. Who'd of thought, me going after some random guy I thought was hot at the bar for a quick fuck would have ended us up here?"

"I'll salute your sluttiness, it paid off this time, you laugh and stick your tongue out at Lydia letting her know you're joking. You continue,

"You realize we're going to have to come up with some fake story to tell our kids of how we met their dads till they're old enough. Something about your Aunt Lydia thought your Uncle was hot and was curious of how big his cock was and then your mom completely humiliated your dad in front of his friends. Then they went to a baseball game and fell in love. I don't think that's going to be kid appropriate for a looong time."

Lydia is cracking up.

"How about we say we all met at a church picnic?!"

"Let's go with that."

"So you thinking the whole deal with Hangman? Marriage and kids?"

"I know we're on the marriage train, I asked him when we made all this official if that's where we were headed. Kids are more of a question mark. The way he was with his nieces in Texas was so freaking adorable. It was easy to imagine him as a dad and for like the first time ever I felt my biological clock. Like I felt I needed to give him babies."

Lydia is half laughing and half in shock.

"You are in deep, you'd be good parents."

"You and Rooster?"

She pauses,

"I think he's going to propose. Rooster's been a little weird lately. I keep walking in on him writing something and muttering something like 'That's not it'. And he's been a little cagey like he's planning something."

"Is it a problem if he proposes?"

"I don't think so. It does feel a little soon."

"Would you say yes?"

"Yes, of course I would."

"Then don't worry about it."

"You're right."

At that moment your nail technicians let you know you're done. You walk out doing your best to keep your nails smudge free. Waving your goodbyes to Lydia you promise to see her tomorrow at the ball.

Jake and you have a quiet evening in and an easy Saturday morning, not doing too much knowing you have a big event tonight.

The cocktail hour starts at 5 pm so you're ready by 4:30 and walk out to meet Jake in the living room. He is sitting on the couch fiddling with his phone and he stands up when he hears you on the wood floor. You are treated to a look of surprise and utter adoration from Jake.

"Oh El, you look gorgeous," he declares and

You do a little twirl around showing him the full look.

Your dress is a dark navy one shoulder style mermaid style dress with a plunging back and strap across the back to hold it together. There is a slit down the side to help with movement. When you were picking out dresses with Lydia and Maddie Simpson this one stood out to you for the bare back. It was easy to imagine the feel of Jake's hand on your back.

He walks around the couch, eyeing you from head to toe.

"God, I'm not sure we're gonna make it there, you look so good."

He also looks extremely good in his dress uniform. It's his most formal one with a dinner jacket with tails, bowtie, and cumberbund. You hold back the girlish sigh on your lips on how unbelievably handsome he is.

"You keep your hands to yourself mister, this took a lot of work."

"Fine, fine, I'll take you out and show you off," he stands behind you and leans in as he brushes his hand up your back,

"I'll just have to wait to have my way with you, I can tell the way you're eyeing me you've got ideas too."

You let out a traitorous sigh,

"Maybe, but we should get going." Jake just chuckles and kisses your temple.

When you arrive you pick up a name tag at a table near the entrance that says, "Dr. Elsa Matthews, PhD, PE, Guest of Lieutenant Jake Seresin."

"Jake, you didn't have to put titles on my name tag," you chide him. He laughs,

"It's not to boost your ego, it's a tactical move to annoy one of my coworkers, Jenkins. He's convinced that there isn't a woman smart enough to have a PhD in aerospace engineering so I thought I'd pump up your credentials to mess with him."

"How mature," you respond. You make your way to the bar, get a drink, and prepare to mingle.

Jake sees Rooster and Lydia first, "Look there's Rooster and Lydia. Let's grab a table with them while we can."

You make your way over to Rooster and Lydia and greet them on the side of the giant room.

"Lydia, Rooster, you guys look great," you say giving them each a hug. Rooster gives the compliment back, at least to you,

"Elsa, you look stunning. Hangman, you look adequate."

Jake just laughs,

"I'm wearing the same thing you are, but I make this look good. I'd give you a solid C+."

Rooster opens his mouth to send another volley, but Lydia stops him,

"Let's grab a table so we can make sure we all sit together. I need Elsa as my emotional support animal to get through this."

You snag a table near the back and on the edge.

"Strategic," you say, "Makes bathroom breaks more subtle."

Jake leans in so only you can hear, "Or sneaking off to do other things." He winks as he leans out to join the conversation.

Rooster looks over your head and groans a little,

"Here comes Jenkins."

"The one who doesn't think women can be engineers?" you ask Jake.

"Yup."

A guy with black hair in a buzz cut and a pudgy face with a scraggly mustache appears with his date, a petite blond that looks like she could get blown away in a stiff wind.

"Hangman, so this is the infamous girlfriend, Elsa. I'm Paul" he says, grabbing your hand and kissing it in greeting,

"Enchanté."

You're shocked he would do that in front of his date/ girlfriend. Jake is rolling his eyes at the over the top gesture.

"Nice to meet you, Paul," you turn to his date, "and you too."

She responds,

"Sarah, his sister."

You feel slightly better that he's not a total sleazeball.

"Sarah, these are my coworkers, Hangman and Rooster. This is supposedly Hangman's smarty pants girlfriend," he leans uncomfortably close to your chest to read your name tag out loud verbatim,

"Dr. Elsa Matthews, PhD, PE."

Sarah and you nod at each other.

"What's the PE for?" Jenkins asks.

"Licensed Professional Engineer."

"So basically a nerd license?"

Jenkins laughs jarringly like a hyena looking around the group to see if anybody else is laughing. No one is.

"Yeah, something like that. So, Sarah, do you live in the area or are you visiting?" you ask, trying to divert the conversation to something more interesting. Jenkins isn't having it,

"Alright, if you're actually a doctor in aerospace engineering, tell me something smart."

"I didn't think this was going to turn into a job interview. You could just look at my LinkedIn page if you want to know all my professional accomplishments."

Jake smirks as he watches. Jenkins doesn't give up,

"Naw naw, Doc. Say something smart."

"Will telling you I have three parents for hypersonic aviation modular life support systems, out of a total of 22 patents, shut you up?"

Jake and Rooster are smiling into their drinks watching the conversation. You can tell they aren't particularly fond of Jenkins.

"Okay, okay, I get it. You don't have to be a show off. If you're so smart then why are you with Hangman? I'm on the market, baby."

Jake has snorted his beer through his nose and is coughing, Rooster pats him on the back. Rooster and Lydia are waiting for your next verbal volley like they're watching a tennis match.

"It's because he has a giant cock. Do I need to describe that in great detail so you understand, too?"

You respond with an accompanying hand gesture, slowly, like you're talking to a child, a particularly slow child with a bad mustache. Sarah hides a smile at her idiot brother. Rooster coughs into drink.

Jenkins barks out his hyena laugh,

"I like this one, Seresin!"

Sarah grabs her brother's shoulder and urges him to walk away. He looks over his shoulder as he turns,

"Hey baby, if you find you get bored with the Hangman and want to hang out with a hung man," he gestures obscenely to his crotch, making you gag a little,

"Give me a call, sweet cheeks."

Rooster calls out to Sarah,

"I'd keep him away from the bar for the rest of the night, just a word of advice."

You look at Jake,

"What the hell is wrong with him? And please tell me he doesn't fly a plane."

"Multiple things, probably dropped on his head as a child, many, many times," Jake responds,

"And no, thank God, he is not a pilot. He's in charge of aircraft parts, so a glorified inventory clerk."

"Please tell me that's your weirdest coworker," you plead with Jake and Rooster.

"Yes, everybody else is pretty normal." Jake answers.

You lean over to Jake,

"I'm not going to get you in trouble for that big cock comment, am I?"

Jake looks at you,

"Don't worry about it, the higher ups don't believe anything he says. I would probably recommend not saying that to Cyclone, it might be a bit of a weird conversation starter."

You laugh, the tension easing.

You and Jake circulate around and meet more of Jake's coworkers and the rest are pleasant and not obnoxious jackasses.

Soon dinner is served and the speeches start up. They feel a lot like corporate speeches but with more patriotism sprinkled in. You are definitely bored by the end of the first one. Maybe it is the champagne on an empty stomach, but you decide to mess with Jake a little bit. You slip your heel off and nudge Jake's pant leg with your foot making contact with the skin under the fabric. Jake's eyebrow raises and he gives you a slight smile as he realizes what you are doing. After a few minutes you put it back in your shoe.

At the next applause break, you pretend to fiddle with your earring and pop it off into your hand.

"Oh no, I think I just lost my earring," you say loud enough to catch Jake's attention,

"I think it fell off that way."

You point towards Jake's feet. You lean over to peek under the tablecloth and as you do you cup Jake's crotch. You know the view of your actions is obscured by the tablecloth and your body. You're rewarded with a quick breath in from Jake.

You emerge from the tablecloth holding your earring, stating,

"Found it," as you put it back on. Jake is staring at you more pointedly now, eyebrow raised in question.

You lean to whisper so only he can hear,

"I'll stop if you say stop. I won't do anything that would embarrass you, just want to rile you up for later."

You pull back to see his response and he leans back in to whisper into your ear.

"Just know you'll face the consequences later," he smirks.

It's your turn to get a little flush and give him a knowing smile. Another speech starts and you keep your hands to yourself for the entirety of the speech. At the end, you use the moment to excuse yourself to the bathroom. When you're in the stall you slide off the lacy thong you chose for tonight and ball it up in your hand. As you sit back down you sneak the underwear in Jake's pants pocket. His hand goes to investigate and the moment he recognizes that it is lacy fabric and his jaw clenches ever so slightly. He looks at you eyebrows raised and the corner of his mouth quirked up in amusement.

The room darkens for a video on a screen up front. You use the opportunity to slide Jake's hand to the slit on your dress, that is conveniently on the side nearest him. You place your napkin over his hand to obscure the scene. His hand is on your skin and ever so slowly creeping around to your inner thigh, trying to flex his fingers up towards your pussy. The video ends and he discreetly pulls his hand back to clap, making eye contact with you the whole time.

The speeches are over and they announce that the dance floor is open. Jake stands up and extends his hand, "May I have this dance, El?"

The music is classical and you recognize it as a waltz. You're surprised when we get to the dance floor and Jake leads you in a perfect waltz.

"Should I add ballroom dancing to your list of many hidden talents?" you ask Jake as he gives you a twirl.

"Yes, among others. My mom insisted we learn to dance the classics. And how are you so well informed on ballroom dance techniques?"

"My mom made me go to cotillion. I remember all the dances and how to set a 36 inch place setting."

"What a useful skill in this day and age," he laughs.

After a few more classical dances, the music has changed to more contemporary pop and rock and roll making the dancing more informal. Lydia and Rooster make their way to you on the dance floor. The lighting has changed and the room is darker and by the DJ stand there are colored lights that change with the beat of the music. It feels like a high school prom with some of the music choices, and you have fun trying out cheesy moves mostly to make everyone else laugh.

The song switches to a song you recognize, Eric Clapton's Wonderful Tonight. Jake places one hand on your back on the bare skin and takes your hand in the other. You place your free hand on his shoulder and start to sway in time with the music. Jake is singing along just loud enough for you to hear and his deep voice reverberates through his chest against yours. You wonder if you can fall even more in love with him the way he's looking at you when the song ends.

Borrowing a lyric from the song, you say,

"It's time to go home now."

He laughs at your choice of words and lowers his head to tell you,

"Someone also needs to face the consequences of her actions, like putting her panties in my pocket so I know you're bare and there'd be nothing in my way."

You swallow hard and just dumbly nod, no coherent thoughts forming, Jake sees the look on your face and just smirks. You make our goodbyes to Lydia and Rooster and head out to the car.

You are barely buckled in when Jake's hand finds the slit in your dress. Pushing his hand up toward your pussy, he extends his fingers and just gently parts the folds around your clit, and then suddenly retreats his hand. You whine at the loss of contact.

"Does someone not like getting teased?" he laughs.

He leans over the console and puts a hand behind your head to catch your lips and mouth in a deep kiss that you feel all the way to your toes. He pulls back and starts the car, leaving you breathless and needy.

"El, you're lucky this is a stick or you'd be getting a lot more teasing on the drive home."

You are never happier that you live only 10 minutes from the base. Jake drives you home in what feels like a deliberately slower manner. You finally break,

"Jake, I need you inside me as soon as possible."

"Ooh, you are hot and ready to go. This'll make what I have planned for you even better."

"What do you have planned, besides fucking me the instant we get inside the door?"

"Oh, so much more, sweetheart. Just you wait."

Mercifully, you arrive home. You feel like you are sprinting to get the door unlocked and Jake is taking his sweet time getting to the porch. You step inside and Jake follows. He pulls you back to his chest and starts to kiss a line down your neck. Jake guides you to the bedroom and unzips your dress leaving you completely naked. He pushes you onto the bed so you are sitting on the edge.

"You were a wretched little tease tonight," he grabs your chin and tilts it up to look at him, "I've been thinking of all the ways I could have you when we got back here."

His thumb rubs across your lower lip and you take it into your mouth and suck on it earning a low groan from him.

"Teases need to learn some lessons in patience," he purrs as his hand slides down to cup your breasts and pinch your nipple, ripping a ragged moan from you.

"Lay down and wait, I'll be right back," he looks at you and says with deadly seriousness, "Do not touch yourself. understand me?"

You nod in agreement. He leaves the room and you slip off your heels and lay down on the top of your bed.

He returns holding a small bowl and the belt from your silk robe. He puts the small bowl on the dresser and kneels next to the bed.

"El, I'm going to tie you to the bed and blindfold you. Are you okay with that?" He is searching your eyes for any hesitancy.

"I'm very okay with that," you practically purr.

He breaks into the panty dropper smile and says,

"Good, we can stop this at any time, just say red light."

He is referencing the system you agreed upon for communicating in bed.

"Sounds good, green light."

He lifts your hands up above your head and the cool softness of the silk robe belt encircling your wrists and the fabric tightens as he ties it to the headboard. You flex your arms and find that you can't move them far. Jake is now standing next to the bed staring at you. He has pulled his dinner jacket off and thrown it over the back of the armchair in the corner, the medals clinking as it lands. Next he pulls off the cumberbund and sends it over to join the jacket. He unties his bow tie, throwing it down to the bed next to you and unbuttons the top few buttons of his shirt. His next move is classically sexy and makes you press your thighs together to get some kind of friction. He pulls his cufflinks out and puts them on top of the dresser next to him and then he methodically rolls his sleeves up revealing his tanned and muscular forearms.

"Enjoying the show, El?" he laughs.

"Very much," you breathe more than speak.

"Good," he says as he sits down on the bed taking the bow tie in his hand and he ties it gently around your head pulling the fabric to cover your eyes.

You take a deep breath and relax into the bed.

"Good, El?"

"Very good, Jake."

The first thing you feel is Jake's hands sweeping up your legs and just skimming the inside of your thighs short circuiting your brain. You try to thrust your pelvis towards his hands and he evades your motions and continues up your body. You whine out a little pout. Jake just laughs. His hands move along to cup your breasts, just pinching at the nipple to a firm point before he leans down to kiss them. He pulls back and you are lost without any contact from him.

The bed dips around your waist and the crisp fabric of his dress pants stretches across your thighs as he straddles you. You are unsure what his next move will be until the cool metal of his dog tags fall on your chest, eliciting a squeak from you. He huffs out a little laugh.

Jake leans down and holds his lips just above yours, the heat from his mouth apparent on your lips as he talks,

"Sweet, sweet, El. Who knew you were such cock tease and so naughty."

He traces a finger down your cheek and across your lips as he talks. You try to lift your head to kiss his lips and he pulls away before you make contact. Your head falls to the bed in defeat and then Jake is kissing you hard, tongue invading your mouth. He pulls away and you lift your head to chase his lips for more, earning another soft and teasing laugh from him.

Jaken kisses a line down your jaw and neck, continuing his path down your chest and finally settling his lips just under your left breast. The feeling from his lips intensifies and he sucks a bruise there, the slight pain from the blood vessels breaking blissfully radiating out. You're so tightly wound that anything, any feeling, pain or pleasure, soothes you. You moan loudly at that thought. He pulls off and gently kisses the sensitive area.

Ghosting his lips down your stomach he swerves at the last second avoiding your very wet and very needy pussy. You whine out in frustration, and plead to him,

"That's where I need it, please, Jake."

"Are we frustrated, El?"

"Yes, please, please touch me. Anything." you plead, sounding a bit desperate.

"It's okay, El. I'll take care of you," Jake coos reassuringly. The bed springs up and the weight of Jake is gone leaving you a little unmoored. Sounds you can't identify filter over from the far side of the room and suddenly you are overwhelmed by a cold burst of wetness on your nipples, they pebble and firm up instantly. An undignified yelp escapes your mouth with a

"What was that?"

"Ice," Jake laughs as he settles in the bed, and you can practically hear his smirk. He resumes his position over you and his cold lips trail down your torso and engulf your clit with no warning. You respond by squealing a mix of pleasure and pain and lifting your hips as far off the bed as possible, unsure if you want to retreat or want more.

"You are so much fun to tease. So responsive and sensitive," Jake says as he pulls back.

"Not fair, I need you, Jake," you respond, emphasizing the word need. He returns his cold mouth to your clit and begins to lick it fast and hard. Two fingers into you without any resistance and join his tongue in his fast rhythm. It doesn't take long for his mouth to warm up and push you to the edge of climax.

You are a moaning mess, and all you can sob out is,

"So close, so close, don't stop."

He pulls his face back and keeps his fingers in you at the same intense pace.

"You don't get to come till I let you, El."

If it was possible that statement would have made you even wetter. It's not helping how turned on you are. He plants his mouth hard on your clit and keeps licking.

"Please, can I come?"

Your begging question fills the air. "Please?" You ask again. You are so close that you know Jake can feel your walls fluttering around his fingers. Every second you're kept waiting is an exquisite mix of overwhelming bliss and the pain of almost coming.

Abruptly Jake pulls back everything. His mouth and hands are gone and your hips lift to chase him.

"What the fuck, Jake?"

You try to sound more indignant than needy. He just laughs as an answer. The bed shifts as Jake stands up. The sound of his clothes hitting the floor is followed by the ties at your wrists being undone.

The bed dips and Jake flips you over with the ease that only he can achieve. You are still blindfolded and unsure of his next move. He grips your hips and pulls your ass up as he gently pushes your head down to the bed. Your knees are being pushed apart with his knee and his hard cock brushes against your thighs enticingly. He is so achingly close to tight where you need him.

Finally, he takes pity on you and runs the head of his cock through your glistening folds.

"You ready, El?" he asks, still teasing your slit.

You practically shout,

"Yes, please fuck me, please."

"So needy, the tease doesn't like to be teased?"

He is laughing as he kisses down your spine.

You reach a hand back to try and touch yourself for some relief and you are treated to a stinging slap on your ass. You bite your lip to keep the moan it pulls out of you in, not wanting to give Jake the satisfaction right now, not when he's teasing you so mercilessly.

"Do I have to tie you up again? You'll come when I tell you, El."

Your whine in response is pure lust and absolute need,

"No, sir. Please fuck me, I need you."

He obliges and plunges in without any more warning or teasing. You almost come before he has bottomed out. With how hard you're gripping the comforter in your hands holding 9ff your orgasm, you're slightly afraid you're going to rip holes in the fabric, not that any part of your brain can be bothered to care. Each of Jake's thrusts pulls out a moan that sounds more like of a sob of relief than of pleasure. Jake pulls all the way back out and for a second you are lost. He pushes back in and starts to fuck you slowly. You try to speed up his thrusts by pushing back your body.

He laughs and grips your hips hard to still you, the thought that he might leave bruises makes you clench around him,

"Remember, who's in charge here?"

You don't respond and feel another harsh slap on the other cheek of your ass. This time you can't help the moan and accompanying clench of your pussy on his cock.

"Answer me, El."

"You are, Lieutenant," is all you can choke out, your need to come overwhelming you. The word triggers something in Jake and he is now fucking you at a relentless pace. His body is starting to tense, a sign he is getting close to the edge; he mercifully slips his hand down to touch your clit. You are right back at that edge of ecstasy within seconds and you hear yourself begging again,

"Please, can I come? Lieutenant? Please?"

His body stutters and you know he is close. Through gritted teeth, he says,

"Come around my cock baby, I want to feel how much you need it."

That is all the encouragement you need. You shatter around him clenching hard. The orgasm is so overwhelming that if you hadn't had the blindfold on still the room would have grayed out.

Your head thunks down to the soft mattress as the pleasure rolls over you, Jake thrusts a few more times to chase his release, his hands gripping at your hips hard to keep you from moving up the bed.

"Fuck, El, gonna come, gonna fill you up," he grits out. You are still in the throes of your climax that you are almost too out of it to say anything.

"Please, Jake, give it to me. I've been good, please," you rasp. He comes with a mighty roar and bends down, his chest against your back as he catches his breath, one hand planted on the bed to support his weight, the other rubbing soothing circles on your side.

He reaches down to your shoulder and pulls you up to his chest tilting your head to kiss you sweetly, a contrast to the intensity of a few minutes ago. Jake pulls the blindfold off and slowly pulls out of you. He gently lowers you to the bed and lays down next to you pulling you into his arms. Your head settles on his chest as you both come down from your mutual high. After a few minutes Jake kisses your forehead tenderly.

"Are you okay?" he asks.

"Yes, way better than okay, in fact great," you respond. He laughs at your effusive gushing and his lips are on your forehead again. You roll over to your stomach so you can see his face.

"That's definitely been a fantasy of mine, never really trusted anyone enough to let go of that control," you tell him as you trace idle circles on his chest with your index finger.

"I remembered from one of your trips to Bakersfield. Did it live up to your expectations?" he asks.

"Not that this is a Yelp review or anything, but 5/5 greatly exceeded my expectations. Would have sex like this again."

You're rewarded with one of Jake's deep laughs,

"How am I supposed to keep my ego in check if you're telling me that kind of stuff?"

"You earned it, stud." you yawn, aware of how late it is.

"Is Cinderella out past midnight?" Jake teases.

"Yes, and she is quickly turning into a pumpkin. I'm going to wash all this makeup off and then I'm going to cuddle up to my handsome stud of a boyfriend and fall asleep."

"Sounds excellent," Jake yawns back in agreement. You head to the bathroom and when you return Jake is already asleep. You turn off the lights and slide into bed and lay your head on his chest before sleep overtakes you.

Up next: Elsa's family comes to town for Christmas and it's not all hot chocolate and hugs...*foreshadowing*.

Chapter 14

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ladyoriza · 11 months

Text

@vampireninjabunnies-blog and I were talking about how Hannah would have figured out what Joseph did to Esther in about three seconds, called Suze, and had her rescued within a day or so, and my brain produced this:

Hannah got into her car and punched Suze's contact info before she'd even buckled in. Esther's "funeral" had been a bit of a shitshow, and while she felt bad for leaving John with Joseph, getting a hold of Suze was the current priority. Getting a hold of Suze was how she was going to help John. And Esther.

"What did he do now?"

Hannah startled, because Suze usually screened her phone calls. She hadn't expected her to actually pick up.

"I can call you for things besides Joseph's bullshit."

"Yeah, but you always text before those calls. So now what did he do?"

"I'm almost certain he just murdered, or attempted to murder, John's wife, Esther. Or he's abducted her." Hannah pulled out of the dirt road leading to Joseph’s church and turned right, away from the peggies, and her ex-husband. It had been awkward as hell, and she’d left the twins with Kim and Nick, claiming they both had colds and she didn’t want them spreading it to half the county, but she wanted to be there for her colleague’s funeral. Esther was a brilliant psychologist, much like Hannah herself, and she’d joined her practice a few years after Hannah set it up.

"The mad cute redhead? The fuck for- ohhh. Oh. She finally talk John into leaving?"

"Well, apparently there was an…argument. A few nights ago. Joseph got physical with her and Jacob had to pull him off. He says he'd never seen John so pissed off."

"So they left. Together?" There was chatter in the background- she sounded like she was home, which always tended to be filled with people.

"As far as I know. Apparently her car went into the Henbane and only John made it out." Which was the first sign, the river wasn’t terribly deep, and she knew John was, in fact, a fairly strong swimmer. Not that he couldn’t have been knocked out or otherwise incapacitated, but it still raised the alarm in her mind.

"Oh, that's fucking obvious. Let me guess- some conveniently placed peggies fished him out and left Esther?" The chatter in the background died, meaning Suze had likely moved into her bedroom, and considered this a relatively serious situation.

"That's the thing- she wasn't at her own funeral."

Suze groaned, and started laughing. "Why is he so fucking bad at this? What does Jakey think?"

"Let me get him, if Joseph has Esther somewhere, he's going to know where she might be, he's got a map of all the bunkers in the county."

"Even yours?"

Hannah huffed, "It came with the house! And it's an excellent storm shelter."

Size laughed, again, "Yeah, yeah, excuses."

Hannah pulled off the road to punch in Jacob's number to start a three-way call. It rang a few times, then he picked up.

"Hannah?"

"Hey. I have Suze here, too."

"Wonderful. Why?"

"What do you mean, why? Did you not notice what a farce Esther's so-called funeral was?"

"This really isn't the time for your issues with Joseph."

"If they got John out of the car, they could have gone back down for her. Joseph could have had your scuba-certified chosen go down and get her, or hook up the car to something to pull out of the water. Instead he what, leaves John's wife down there? Lets him go mad without anything to bury? We both know he never liked her." She braked for a group of turkeys on the road, who took their sweet time crossing.

"It's the most basic-ass cover up. It's even more basic than arson. Come on, Jakey, use that giant head of yours for once." Suze didn’t like any of the Seeds, especially not Joseph, but over time she and Jacob developed a strange sort of understanding.

"So what, you think he's got her somewhere?"

"He has to, it doesn't make sense otherwise. I don't know if it's just his usual possessiveness over you two or something else, but I know she's not dead."

"And before you ask- I'm why he hasn't tried this shit with Hannah. I can be here in 6 hours, tops, and I have Whitehorse on my side."

"How the fuck did you do that?"

"Because I'm a fucking delight. And her kids are the darlings of Hope County, all I had to do was loan a few of my guys to him and we're golden- yeah, yeah, get that ready and load up my bike, too. I wanna be in the air in an hour, tops." The background chatter resumed, but Suze now sounded echo-y, like she was in her garage, giving orders to the Saints that managed her vehicles. Neither of them had asked Suze to come, but she didn't wait to be asked, ever.

"You're positive Esther is alive?" Jacob sounded like he believed her, but didn’t want to.

"Jacob, we both know it wouldn't be out of character for Joseph. We both know he hates how happy she makes him, and we both know he'd stop at nothing to keep you two under his thumb. I know you love him, but you're beyond sticking your head in the sand about the type of man Joseph is. And I know the only reason he was even at the birth of our children is because you made him fly to Ann Arbor." He’d never told her that part of it, but he had slipped up once and mentioned that Joseph almost missed his flight because he was too busy preaching. In retrospect, that should have been the moment Hannah dumped Joseph, but she was young and naive. Now older and wiser, it was too easy to slot the rest of the pieces in.

"Wait. You think he could be trying to replace Hannah? Like, being divorced is a bad look for him. You think he's trying to pull some stepford wives bullshit? He'd get a replacement baby mama and knock John all the way back to rock bottom."

"Considering the fit he pitched when I was given primary custody? He might be wanting to reassert control."

"...Hannah. This sounds insane."

"Do you think I'm wrong?"

Jacob was quiet for a long moment, long enough for Hannah to pull into the Rye's driveway to pick up her kids. She quickly texted Kim to tell her she was on a call, but would be in shortly.

"I understand that accepting this aspect of Joseph is hard. You want to protect your family- but Esther is also your family. Fauna and Ethan are your family. And if did this to John, what would stop him from doing something to me, or to the kids?" Hannah sighed, "Look, we don't like each other. But you are the only person in Eden’s Gate that has my full trust. I wouldn't have called you if I wasn't completely sure that Joseph's done something. Besides, when do I ever call you when it's not a genuine emergency?"

A heavy sigh, "When will Suze be here?"

"Choppers set to lift off in like, half an hour…so about four hours. I'm coming with a handful of guys, too, just to cover my ass."

"We can talk in person when she lands, if you want to surprise visit the twins as a cover." She felt slightly guilty for using the twins to sweeten the pot, but, he did love them. And didn’t really need any reason to go see them.

"Want me to bring John?"

"If you think he can handle it, yes. Otherwise I'll leave that up to you."

"Alright. If you're right about this, what's the plan then?"

"Beat his ass." Suze said bluntly. As if she ever had a different plan.

"Fair. Seven?"

Hannah looked at the clock, it was currently 2pm. "Seven works, we'll just have to be quiet since the kids go to bed at eight."

"I'll give them coffee."

Both Hannah and Jacob let out an exasperated "Suze", because she'd done it before and absolutely would do it again.

"Ah, and you two say you don't get along. Alright, I'm out, see y'all later." Suze hung up, leaving Hannah and Jacob alone on the line.

"I am hoping to be wrong, if only because this would really be a new low for Joseph."

"It wouldn't be. See you at seven."

#hannah lamb phd

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things-that-are-weezer-green · 5 months

Note

It's everyday bro With the Disney Channel flow 5 mill on YouTube in 6 months Never done before Passed all the competition man PewDiePie is next Man I'm popping all these checks Got a brand new Rolex And I met a Lambo too And I'm coming with the crew This is Team 10, bitch Who the hell are flippin' you? And you know I kick them out If they ain't with the crew Yeah, I'm talking about you You beggin' for attention Talking shit on Twitter too But you still hit my phone last night It was 4:52 and I got the text to prove And all the recordings too Don't make me tell them the truth And I just dropped some new merch And it's selling like a God, church Ohio's where I'm from We chew 'em like it's gum We shooting with a gun The tattoo just for fun I Usain Bolt and run Catch me at game one I cannot be outdone Jake Paul is number one

It's everyday bro It's everyday bro It's everyday bro I said it's everyday bro

You know it's Nick Crompton And my collar stay poppin' Yes, I can rap And no, I am not from Compton England is my city And if it weren't for Team 10 Then the US would be shitty I'll pass it to Chance 'Cause you know he stay litty

Two months ago You didn't know my name And now you want my fame? Bitch I'm blowin' up I'm only going up Now, I'm going off I'm never fallin' off Like Mag, who? Digi who? Who are you? All these beefs I just ran through Hit a milli in a month Where were you? Hatin' on me back in Westfake You need to get your shit straight Jakey, brought me to the top Now we're really poppin' off Number 1 and number 4 That's why these fans all at our door It's lonely at the top So we all going We left Ohio Now the trio's all rollin' It's Team 10, bitch We back again, always first, never last We the future, we'll see you in the past

It's everyday bro It's everyday bro It's everyday bro I said it's everyday bro

Hold on, hold on, hold on Can we switch the language? We 'bout to hit it

Sí, lo único que quiero es dinero Trabajando en YouTube todo el día entero Viviendo en USA El sueño de cualquiera Enviando dólares a mi familia entera Tenemos a una persona por encima Se llama Donald Trump y está en la cima Desde aquí te cantamos Can I get my visa? Martinez Twins, representando España Desde la pobreza a la fama

It's everyday bro It's everyday bro It's everyday bro I said it's everyday bro

Yo, it's Tessa Brooks The competition shook These guys up on me I got 'em with the hook Lemme educate ya' And I ain't talking book Panera is your home? So stop calling my phone I'm flying like a drone They buying like a loan Yeah, I smell good Is that your boy's cologne?

Is that your boy's cologne? Started balling, Quicken loans Now I'm in my flippin' zone Yes, they all copy me But, that's some shitty clones Stay in all designer clothes And they ask me what I make I said it's 10 with six zeros Always plug, merch link in bio And I will see you tomorrow 'cause It's everyday bro Peace

what does this MEAAAAAANNNN

#ask green guy

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trashcatsnark · 4 years

Text

FC5 GFH: Deputy Dahlia Hale

I was tagged by the awesome @shallow-gravy, to do this uhhhhhh a while ago, but this took a lot of time. I will be tagging @enchantedbythebidders and @kizucute and @madsismad if any of you want to, and anyone who wants to do it please do!

TW: A dark humor jokey mention of suicide, cause my baby is a depressed dumbass

Selected as GFH:

“Coming your way, mon cher.”

“You got it.”

“Won’t let you down.”

Combat

Seeing Threat:

“Peggies, up ahead.”

“Careful, enemy spotted.”

“Watch out, cultists.”

Stealth/being told to go stealth:

“Good thinkin’”

“Stay low.”

“We got this.”

In Combat with Peggies:

“Fuck oFF!”

“Is that all you got?”

“C’mon, you can do better than that.”

�� Pushing an Enemy Down:

“Stay down.”

“Eat shit.”

“Pathetic.”

Killing an Enemy:

“Where’s your god, now?”

“I told you not to fuck with me.”

“Lights out, motherfucker!”

Post Combat:

“Just what I needed, more blood on my hands.”

“Well, that was exciting.”

“I need a smoke...”

When she’s hurt/dying:

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.”

“I’m fine, I’m fine, I’m okay,shit,fuck.”

“No pressure, but I’m kinda dying here!”

Thanking Player:

“Fuck, I owe you one.”

“Seriously, thanks.”

“Anything I can do to thank ya?”

Reviving Player:

“No dying on me, mon cher.”

“Stay strong, we can do this.”

“C’mon, we can’t do this without you.”

Player Points Weapon at her;

“You got a fuckin’ problem with me?”

“Put that down, before I make you.”

“If you’re looking for a fight, I’ll give you one.”

Player Attacks her:

“We’re on the same side, asswipe.”

“Fine, you know what, let’s go, asshole!”

“You really think you can take me?”

Has to Kill Player:

“Traitor.”

“I thought we were friends…”

“I didn’t want to do this.”

Idle:

“Everyone looks at me weird when I call them mon cher, but I swear it’s just a thing we say in Louisiana, at least where I’m from.”

“People keep talking about when things are back to normal. But, that’s not how it works. Trauma lingers, trust me, none of us are gonna be the same after this.”

“Quite frankly, I don’t give a damn if the world is ending. If the world dies, I’ll die with it. Better than living in some freak’s bunker.”

“Guns are cool and all, but nothing beats a proper fist fight, knife fights are a close second though.”

“I wanna smoke so bad, but everywhere smell like gasoline and I don’t wanna go up in flames, at least not right now.”

Holland Valley:

“John’s real fucked in the head, but when he loses his cool is when he starts making mistakes, he’ll get sloppy and we can take the valley back.”

“Something about John never sat right with me, he’s so fake, feels more like a mannequin than a real person. Pissing him off is pretty fun though.”

“John’s capture parties are annoying, but they aren’t as well trained as Jacob’s hunters, I managed to dodge the fuckers for days. Actually? Are they still after me?”

Henbane River:

“God I fucking hate this place, the way it fucks with your head is just ugh. Damn that Church Mouse.”

“Like, how does this shit even make sense? I know Bliss fucks up your head, but how can they control what we see? Like, not everyone on an LSD trip sees the same thing. Is it the power of suggestion or, I mean Faith can’t be an actual siren, can she?”

“You know, I use to not get why everyone was so fixated on how pretty Faith was, too delicate for my taste I guess. But now that I know she can kick ass, not gonna lie, little more into it. Uh, don’t tell anyone I said that though, please.”

Whitetail Mountains:

“You think Jacob quotes that alpha omega wolf bullshit? I bet he does, shit ain’t even true, scientist who said it took it back.”

“Jakey Boy’s gonna pay for what he’s doing to Pratt and I’m gonna make damn sure of it.”

“Big Red out here is obsessed with creating soldiers, the ultimate tools, he uses people like it’s nothing. If you’re not careful, he’ll get in your head and use you like a puppet.”

Joseph’s Compound:

“Where it all began, blegh, I wish I could have kicked Joe’s ass right then.”

“You know I came here for church once, just to check it out, I puked behind the church. Hope that fucker stepped in it.”

“Joseph preaches this bullshit about welcoming misfits, outcasts, pariahs of society. Every peggie is someone who didn’t feel like they belonged anywhere else, they think he saved them. But, you wanna know the truth? Joseph Seed preyed on them. He saw they were vulnerable and he swooped in like a fucking vulture to eat ‘em alive. And they thank him for it.”

Dutch’s Island:

“Dutch is ornery old man, makes me wonder why he ain’t out here fighting with us.”

“Bunker man Dutch knows everything about everyone, also got camera all around, it’d be creepy if he wasn’t such a cool guy.”

Falls End:

“Mary May is a grade-A badass, don’t let the baby face fool ya.”

“Hudson, Pratt, and I use to hang out at The Spread Eagle after work, almost every day, it’s weird going there without them now.”

“Jerome is officially the only holy man I trust, everyone else can get fucked.”

Wolfs Den:

“Eli is incredible, seriously, I don’t know what we’d do without him. He’s just, so fuckin’ awesome, I-uh, that sounds weirdly gushy doesn’t it. It’s not like, I just- He’s a cool dude, shut up!”

“Every time Eli compliments me, I could scream, like in a good way.”

“You think we could hook up the beacons to blast Wheaty’s music? Be better than those weird animal moans for sure.”

Hope County Jail:

“May sound weird coming from a deputy, but, uh, I kinda figured I’d be in jail someday.”

“Whitehorse has always been like the station’s dad, having him here means a lot.”

“Virgil means well, but I’m pretty sure he’s on Tracey’s last nerve.”

With Boomer;

*in cutesy voice* “Who’s the cutest boy in the whole wide world, that’s right, you are!~”

“Any peggies hurt Boomer and they’re gonna get my boot up their ass.”

“Sorry, bud, I ain’t got any treats on me.”

With Peaches:

“You wanna see me carry a cougar?”

“Ahhh, she’s so fuckin’ cute, she could claw my face off and I’d thank her.”

*Meows back at Peaches*

With Cheeseburger:

“Awwwwwwwww, you’re so cute, so beautiful, what a precious boy!~”

“Do you think I could pick him up?”

“What’s new, Paddington?” *Cheeseburger growsl* “Oh, I’m sorry bro, that’s rough.”

When paired with Sharky:

“He is the fire boy; he is the one ignites. That was a dumb joke, please ignore me.”

“Set me on fire and we’re gonna have problems, Boshaw.”

“Wait, you had a job, Sharky?! Uh, that sounded mean, didn’t it? Sorry…”

When paired with Adelaide: (anytime Addie says anything sexual) “Please stop, please stop, please stop, please stop.”

“Any hole? What the hell does that mea-I don’t wanna know, do I?”

“I still don’t get what you saw in Hurk Sr, but I’m damn glad you got out of that mess.”

When paired with Hurk Jr.:

“So, not a stealth mission, got ya.”

“I’m gonna kill you, Hurk, seriously.”

“Why do you smell like beer? Are you drinking right now? Seriously!?”

When paired with Jess: “Arrows are cool and all, but being able to beat the fuck out of a peggie is way more satisfying, you can fight me on that, mon cher.”

“Hey, Jess, you think any of these stores have working slushie machines?”

“You got any idea what you’re gonna do after all this? Pff, me neither.”

When paired with Grace:

“I never got to meet your dad, but he sounds like an incredible man.”

“You know a lot about PTSD, right? We’re all gonna be fucked up after this, aren’t we?”

“Could I theoretically pay you to blow my brains out? Yeah, yeah, not funny, I know.”

When paired with Nick:

“Don’t do anything dumb, man. Kim and that baby need you.”

“One more pun and I’m climbing in that plane to kick your ass.”

“You and Kim are adorable, seriously.”

#far cry 5 #fc5 #dahlia hale

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leggigoesabroad · 5 years

Text

do you remember when we got lost in the city?

Lyric from Steve Moakler’s “Cleveland” that’s been stuck in my head this entire trip on repeat. I had full intentions of wandering around Prague and getting lost, but I’ve made a friend so it didn’t work out that way and I’m still thrilled!! I’ve been hanging out with Lizzy, the friend I mentioned in the last post who lives here in Prague and will be ER’s new local host for our Prague apartment this summer. She’s one of my friend Mckenzie’s best friends from Denver and is here for school with her husband. We went out to our last group dinner last night (MORE ON THAT COMING) and then she and I went to a wine bar afterwards and met up with her husband, who I also fully love, and then hung at their apartment a little bit. Their penthouse place in Prague looks directly over ER’s apartment! Small fuckin’ world. Right now it’s 11:30 am on Wednesday, May 1st, and Lizzy and I are at a cafe across the river doing “work” (she actually is, I’m writing this blog and researching my trip to Paris.) It is incomparably amazing to have an American friend here who knows the city but is also from Denver and gets everything about that life too. Basically I adore her.

So! Yesterday my two colleagues and I went on another private guided city tour, of course this time in Prague. Our young male guide was nowhere near as enchanting as Ilse and I found myself pining for her and her quick wit and humor and princess-like red hair. This guy wasn’t great at reading the room and said a lot of facts that were too detailed and I zoned out during. HOWEVER, I did still learn a lot of cool facts about Prague! For example, 80% of the country are athiests!! Back in the day, all sorts of folks and crusaders tried to bring Catholicism here and they protested, saying church and state should forever be separate and that religion should be a private relationship, etc., and one of their kings/emperors whatever was burned at the stake dying for the right to be religiously free. (Facts are shoddy but you’re getting the gist.) Then the religious folk thought the problem was squashed, but actually his public death just ignited their flame even more (no pun intended) and they all said FUCK THIS! and became athiests! There’s this gorgeous memorial that says “ZAPRAVDU” that is built such that you can only see it on sunny days for a few hours a day (which I got to see) and it means “For the Truth” and it’s built to remember this martyr. Pretty baller shit. Idk what I’m willing to be burned alive for... maybe Taylor’s honor? JK but really? Or one of my nieces?!

We also lucked out having another dope-ass gorgeous weather day, which really adds to the whole vibe. I was very sleepy when we got home and Gina decided to bail on dinner because she’s pregnant, fair, and I was dreading it. It was just going to be me, Lizzy, Marlena (colleague I’ve been with the whole time who let’s just say... I’ve had enough meals with), and Yiri, our other local host who is Czech. I was so tired and couldn’t fathom making conversation over pretending to like fancy food and being embarrassed. Side note, Yiri is cool as shit - he’s quiet and Czech, but married to a Chinese woman who he met in Prague when she was working here as a Chinese/Czech translator. They have three GORGEOUS boys (obviously) and are incredibly into hockey, so we obviously bonded. I showed him my phone background of Ovi hoisting the Cup and he says, “Do you know Jakub Vrana?” Um, DUH! Jake the Snake! I get overly excited and he tells me Vrana is from Prague (should have realized) and brought the Cup here this summer and paraded through the streets. His son also plays on the same junior team Vrana played on in Prague and Jakey is basically a celebrity here. Hockey: the universal language.

So we get to dinner, and turns out it’s a Michelin star restaurant. Double fuck. I read the menu and it all looks literally repulsive. I try to be classy and just order the least gross-looking things... here are the words of my appetizer and entre: “raviola with beef cheek and saurkraut sauce,” and “veal fillet with green peas, seasonal mushrooms, and Perigourdine sauce.” I was like “.............” It was either this or rabbit?! JFC.

I vowed to myself I’d try not to be embarrassing and I’d taste everything. Luckily these dumb fancy restaurants give small portions so I knew it wasn’t much to get through if it sucked. They start with an amuse bouche that’s some cold-ass pink beet soup. Pass. Then they brought lots and lots of bread and I had All Of It. Safe way to guarantee being full if everything sucked. Then I actually really enjoyed both the starter and the entre!!!!!! I was extremely, EXTREMELY proud of myself. It was also paired with a very light Sauvignon Blanc and I can honestly say it was the first time I’ve ever seen the point in a “pairing.” Yes, it’s a happy coincidence that I chose the appetizer that paired with my favorite wine, but it also actually tasted really nice with it!! God, who am I. Then we ordered dessert and I got a gorgeous selection of sorbets that I’ll post a picture of after this. And it was entirely paid for by Marlena’s company, and free food does taste better. Afterwards, Lizzy asked if I was up for wine by the river with her husband, and we stopped at this awesome wine bar and sat in window seats with cushions and a palette for a coffee table and had three glasses each. Everything is so cheap here - I secretly paid the waitress at the end and they were so floored by the generosity. But I haven’t spent a dime since I’ve been here since Gina is expensing everything, and I am so grateful to have American friends I’d pay any dollar amount for their kindness!

Went back to their apartment after and played with their dogs and smoked a little from their vape pen - ahh, feels like home. Which, by the way, update: no more insane sleepless detox nights since that other one I talked about in my last post! Could be because I had a Unisom, half a Xanax, and a sleep gummy before bed... but hey, whatever works. I doubt I’ll have any more #weed while I’m on this Europe trip and I think I’m all out at home, so I might ride this train and see how long I can take it. Look into that “clear head” feeling all the people talk about.

I booked an Airbnb right near Lizzy, and I’m storing my bag at her house for the day until I check in later. We’re going to keep walking along the river and then see the Prague Castle in the afternoon, and then get some dinner and meet up with her husband again. I’m researching options for tomorrow. Originally I was going to head straight to Paris, but I realized I don’t really need five nights in Paris when I’ve already been. I might take a train to Nuremberg for the night because it’s along the route, and then stay in an Airbnb and take another train to Paris on Friday morning and spend the weekend there with Angie. All TBD but it’s kind of fun. “Penniless, she’s flying by the seat of her pants...”

Pictures to come! Prague is dope. (Hot travel takes from Leggi.)

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