#jaskier: the fact he doesnt hunt for sport makes him better than you

[roughentumble]

I've also been thinking about Geralt and Jaskier being stuck at Jaskier's parents' for a few days while the necessary papers regarding their marriage and Jaskier's access to the family funds are drawn up or whatever so they're just awkwardly stuck sharing Jaskier's old room while his parents awkwardly try to make small talk

Like, Jaskier's dad will be like, "I'm going on a deer hunt today, perhaps the witcher would like to join us?"

Jaskier immediately goes, "like hell am I letting you take my husband/future husband into the woods so you can shoot him like a rabid dog then claim it was a tragic hunting accident!"

Geralt quietly pipes up, "No deer around here to hunt, anyway, the wedding party scared them all of"

hjkhrkfbekdnnd ohhhh my god

not to absolve the pancratz's of their usual Bad Family sins within the AUs we create, but the funniest possible situation here would be if also jask's dad. genuinely meant it. like he was gonna be weird and snide the whole time, but he was just gonna take the dude hunting. i cant stop thinking abt it and giggling

also, either way, im definitely picturing geralt saying something like "also i dont hunt for trophies, just for meat."

which. would 100% put everyone in the room on edge. geralt means it factually(its just a true statement about him) but somehow to these people who Do Not Trust Witchers, it sounds. extremely intimidating. very "im going to eat you specifically." jask's mom goes pale, his dad breaks out into a nervous sweat, while jaskier is just proudly like "yeah! that's right! he's very noble like that. kind soul, y'see?"