#jate everthing

[half1spin]

Day 3 of the flu: It’d Bad

[irregardlessly-tish]

I went to bed at 8pm and woke us two hours later with my stomach screaming for food like I hand't had a meal in weeks, it literally hurt. So I got up to look for something and I decided to make a sandwich because what am I going to do? Cook in the middle of the night? Ugh, I think the fuck not. And there was just a single mignon and I realized that I was pretty lucky to have that because my brother eats all the fucking bread of the house. I love my brother more than I love myself but after that realization I was filled with hatred because I have nothing else to eat because he gets bored in the middle of the day so he mindlessly eats the fucking bread until there is no more. He wasn't even hungry. I swear he eats so much it sometimes annoys me and now it just pisses me off. Do you think my dad tells him anything about the amount of carbs he's consuming? Never. But whenever I want to eat something delicious like just a fucking sandwich he's behind me like "are you sure you want to eat that? You should eat a piece of lettuce instead" so this just makes me feel even angrier because it's not fair he gets away with eating so much when I'm starving and shamed for eating.

Sorry for ranting. I don't know if it all makes sense because I'm still groggy, hungry, in pain and angry.

I thought the waking up and feeling like I'm starving had ended now that I got my period but I see it hasn't so I can only hope it ends when my period ends? I hate it so much. I jate this feeling because if I don't eat, it's painful and I can't sleep but if I do I'm sure I'll feel fat and it won't be just a feeling and I'll get fat.

Now it's 11 and I'm still hungry. There are some cookies and biscuits but that probably won't make me feel full and it'll just make me fatter and uglier than I already am. I hate everthing

Does anyone want to come to my housea nd shoot me in the head?