#javiears

[alliterative-albatross]

“But you didn’t want that,” you find yourself saying, knowing. 

Javi whips around, wide eyed, his lips parted in an expression of gentle shock. “No,” he breathes, astonished. It’s like he’s surprised that you know it and relieved that he doesn’t have to say it, and in that moment, you bleed for him. For the little boy who was — gentle, discerning, and far more sensitive than anybody ever bothered to realize; and equally, for the young man who that boy grew into — alive and thriving, but alone, alone and desperate for somebody (somebody, please, anybody; know me, see me) to understand. “I didn’t.” 

~ After the Rain

[missredherring]

@disgruntledspacedad

Thinking about Javiears again and then this song came on. 😩

[radiowallet]

@disgruntledspacedad Better Love series is a true masterpiece and the most recent chapter is still taking up the entire space of my heart. When I first read it, I could hear the song Delta by Mumford & Sons playing at the back of my head, and it stuck with me.  This little mood board is dedicated to Jay and her beautiful work and kind soul.  

[disgruntledspacedad]

You guys I am screaming.

Okay, so I commissioned the incredible @heatherbel for some Javiears art, and this absolute masterpiece is what I got in return.

LOOK AT IT. Look at Hannah’s hair. Look at her all wrapped up in his jacket. Look at Javi’s little smile. The way he’s gripping her arm. That precious little brow furrow. The cheekbones. The intimacy and utter contentment between them.

Heather, you were such a joy. Professional and patient, even when I knew nothing about this process. You answered all of my stupid questions and were so kind about it. And I’m sorry, just the talent. Good lord. The ability to take my ramblings and generate something so accurate and beautiful from them. I had a vision in mind when I contacted you, but this? This is so much more than I ever imagined.

Anyway, guys, y’all get ready, because I will be screaming about this until the end of time.

Meet Javier Peña and Hannah Aarons.

[disgruntledspacedad]

Jayyy!! Sweet, slutty in the AM.

Without giving BL spoilers, or maybe you won't? Idk 👀👀 not *cough* fishing or anything *cough*

Can I please have 💖 for Javier??? I'm curious...

Angel out-

Javiears pregnancy headcanons? You got it, babe!

Quick and obvious disclaimer to treat all of these as if they are a Better Love AU, at least until I tell you otherwise. 😘

Any baby that these two have would be a total surprise. Ears never wanted kids, and Javi has never thought long enough about it to decide how he feels about a family. He’s always assumed that was never in the cards for him.

Once the initial shock wears off - and that’s gonna take quite a while for both of them - Javi and Ears both jump feet first into the parenting thing. They each harbor some intense opinions about what a kid should and shouldn’t have to put up with, and there are lots of deep conversations that Last into the early morning hours. They nail down the important stuff pretty early, decide that they’ll figure out the rest with time, and discover a whole lot more about one another in the process.

Ears’ body hates being pregnant. She doesn’t realize it, but she’s got her Ashkenazi ancestry to thank for this. Ears is sick as dog snot clear through her first trimester and well into her second, exhausted and achy and throwing the fuck up. She gets awful migraines, too. There are days when Javi is convinced that carrying this baby is going to kill her, and he worries a lot.

Ears handles all of this as stoically as she can. She’s miserable, but she’s not about to complain and make Javi feel even worse.

Speaking of Javi, that protective streak he’s got goes into overdrive the instant Ears tells him about the baby. Ears has got to constantly remind him that she’s pregnant, not dying, and Javi good god, please just let me do things, okay??

That being said, it takes Javi a little while to connect the idea of Ears being pregnant to Ears carrying his baby. It’s all very abstract to him, to the point that on Ears’ worst days, Javi almost feels a little resentful.

That all changes at Ears’ sixteen week appointment. She’s just starting to feel like a human again, and this time, Javi is allowed to go back with her.

Oh my god, you guys, when Javier Peña sees that blurry, black and white, tiny little baby on the ultrasound screen... yall, his entire world shifts.

Ears notices instantly. It’s kind of hard not to, given how tightly Javi is suddenly gripping her hand. He glances over at him to find his eyes glued to the screen, silent tears rolling down his cheeks. It takes her aback a little. “You okay?” she asks quietly, and Javi nods, drags his eyes away from the ultrasound screen and gives her a soft, wet smile, and something slots into place for Ears, too.

Javi quits smoking cold turkey that day. Seeing his tiny little daughter for the first time put a lot of things into perspective, and Javi decides then and there that he wants to be there for her as long as possible.

The first three weeks are miserable. Javi does his best to get out of the house when he’s feeling tetchy (which is always), and Ears does her best to be understanding, but they get into more than a few little spats.

The makeup sex is 🔥🔥🔥, though.

Ears is not a big girl. When she starts to show, she shows fast, and Javi swears he can see her body change every day. Ears is pretty indifferent. She’s not self conscious - Ears finds pregnancy to be inconvenient, more than anything.

Javier Peña has never seen anything as beautiful as Hannah Aarons carrying his child.

Javi fucking loves it. There’s something primal about running his hand over the gentle swell of Ears’ belly and knowing that it’s his daughter that’s growing there. He’s not one to talk to the bump, but Javi can hardly stop himself from touching it. All the fucking time. Ears will sometimes playfully shoo him away. “Hands to yourself, you animal. I’m trying to nap!”

Seriously, their sex life doesn’t suffer at all. It doesn’t help that Ears refuses to buy maternity clothes. She’d much rather lounge around in Javi’s t-shirts and his old sweats, something that makes Javi’s cave man brain damn near implode every single time he sees it.

Ugh, and he’s sweet to her. Observant and affectionate and accommodating of absolutely everything. Cravings? Tell me what you want, babe, I’ll get three. Foot massage? Come here, mi reina, let me make it better. Yawning through dinner? Go get in bed, Ears, I’ve got dishes tonight.

Javi starts noticing Ears’ puffy feet somewhere around the 28th week or so. Ears swears they don’t hurt, exactly, so they both write it off as one of those weird pregnancy things.

It’s not. Ears has severe pre-eclampsia. Javi only finds this out after Ears gets a migraine so bad that she can’t see straight. Javi carries her to the car and forces her to go to the hospital. They’re there for all of five minutes when the doctor on call deems Ears’ blood pressure to be high enough to constitute a medical emergency, and Javi’s world is turned upside down again when he hears the word “c-section.”

Ears is only 33 weeks pregnant.

Less than an hour later, Javi is holding his baby girl. She’s tiny, the tiniest little human that Javi has ever seen, but she’s got a hell of a set of lungs on her, and Javi has never been so relieved, so stunned, so riveted, or so enraptured by anything in his entire life.

Oh, shit, he’s crying again.

She’s absolutely perfect. Off her oxygen within two days, taking feedings like a champ, and obliterating every goal her pediatrician sets for her.

Javi is so fucking proud when his girl is discharged a full week earlier than the doctors anticipated. She’s still a little small, but growing like a weed, and Javi just knows that between her and her mom, he’s gonna have his hands full.

Ears is fine, just a little sore. There are no long term complications from pre-eclampsia, so as soon as she’s up and sort of moving, Ears in full mom mode.

Ears loves being a mom, but she and Javi are in full agreement on this - one and done.

[disgruntledspacedad]

Your heart cracks a bit at his expression. “Somebody should have loved you like this a long time ago.” Your voice warbles. You mean it. Javi deserves it.

Javi catches your cheeks in his palms. “No,” he answers, but there’s none of that familiar self depreciation in his tone. Just solemn resolve. “No, baby. I’m glad it’s you.” He brushes dry lips gently against your forehead, and you close your eyes and sigh as the heat of his breath warms your skin.

God, it feels so good, the closeness, the grass, the sun, the two of you sharing the same space and air, together.

Just being.

Javi hums a little in the back of his throat, like he shares that thought, and you feel him smile against you, his long fingers winding softly through the curls at your nape. “Would have waited a lifetime, Hannah Aarons, just for you.”

[disgruntledspacedad]

Okay! Javiears thot: I know that Ears loves all of Javi, BUT I think she has a thing for his strong hands and arms (excuse me...look at them in those gifs with Helena!). I could be projecting, but I feel that she loves them.

Sorry, I couldn’t resist.

Okay, so asking Hannah Aarons to identify her favorite parts of Javier Peña is kind of like taking a six year old to a candy store and telling them to pick out one thing. There are so many enticing options that it almost can’t be done.

Javier Peña is dead sexy. Ears knows it, and Javi knows it, too. But if you were to force her, this is what she’d probably tell you:

Hands

They’re huge and skilled and just gorgeous. In fact, it was Javi’s hands that first caught Ears’ attention, funnily enough.

If you watch closely, Javi’s hands give away a lot of what he’s feeling - when he’s nervous, he reaches for a cigarette or fidgets with the nearest available object. When he’s pissed, his fists go to his hips. When he’s beyond frustrated, he rubs his face or pinches at the bridge of his nose.

And when he is with Ears, those beautiful hands roam all over her body. Javi can communicate an entire soliloquy with a single touch, and he worships Ears, body and soul, with those hands.

Ears adores them. She’s not a big girl, but Javi’s hands absolutely dwarf her. And, though she’ll never admit it, the warm, possessive weight of them on her bare skin makes Ears feel so , so safe and so, so loved.

Nape

This is mostly because of how Javi reacts when Ears turns her attention here. The back of Javi’s neck is his number one erogenous zone. Ears like to think of it as his weakness, or better, her secret weapon.

She knows that she can start anything, anytime, anywhere, just by zeroing in on that nape.

Javi hisses and writhes whirls around to grab her if she so much as kisses him there.

And oh, god, if Ears bites... Javi damn near comes unglued then, and there’s nothing Ears loves more than watching a man as suave and confident as Javier Peña fall apart for her.

Checkmate.

Tummy

Javier Peña is all sharp angles and lithe muscles, expect for that subtly soft tummy that’s hidden beneath his shirt.

Ears just adores it.

Maybe there’s something about how cozy Javi is to snuggle up with, or maybe it’s just the allure of a well-kept secret - really, you’d only know about the tummy if you had Javi naked, and there’s something appealing about the broody, taciturn Javier Peña being a softie where it counts. Either way, Ears can’t keep her hands off of it, and she isn’t very inclined to try.

Javi doesn’t mind this one bit.

Shoulders

And arms! And really, just Javi’s entire silhouette. Understated but strong, broad without being beefy, and deliciously masculine. Ears loves the fact that Javi has no trouble picking her up and hauling her around, and loves it even more when he pins her to the nearest wall.

It’s all thanks to those gorgeous shoulders.

Neck

Goddamn, though, doesn’t Javier Peña just have the prettiest neck you’ve ever seen?

Ears certainly thinks so.

Eyes

They say that the eyes are the window into the soul.

Ears always thought that was some flowery melodramatic horseshit, until she met Javier Peña.

Javi’s eyes are so dark and so expressive. Ears learns quickly that Javi can bullshit with his face and body, but he can’t hide what’s in his eyes.

Not that she would want him to. Javi is a beautiful man, inside and out, and Ears is pointedly, poignantly reminded of that every time their gazes connect.

[disgruntledspacedad]

“My oldest, Sofia.” Chucho had chuckled, indicating her on the family photo that hangs above the hearth, the same one you’d wondered over several times in the week that you’d spent at the ranch. It’s a black and white snapshot, four reluctant people staggered awkwardly for the camera. You’d recognized Javi instantly, and his mother soon after (you’d been shocked by the resemblance), and then, Chucho. Fresh faced and startling young, he’d had his arm wrapped around the shoulder of a stoic young woman (Rosa, you’d learn eventually; her name was Rosa), wearing a wide, proud smile. 

“She’s all grown up now, married with three three boys,” Chucho’d continued, still gesturing to the single stranger in the photograph, the girl who leans chest to back against Javi. They are so close that their cheeks nearly brush, her dark hair spilling freely over his arm, matching grins plastered to matching faces.  “Leobardo, Oscar, and Alejo.” Chucho’d sighed a wistful sigh. “They live in San Antonio.” 

~ After the Rain

[disgruntledspacedad]

I told you guys not to let me get a Better Love tattoo.

[disgruntledspacedad]

Would JaviEars have a courthouse wedding or a church wedding?

So, hypothetically speaking…

I cannot see either of them being super eager for the church wedding experience. Ears would flat out tell you it’s a pain in the ass and a waste of money. Javi agrees. He has some negative memories there, sure, but mostly, he’s your average guy about stuff like this. If the big traditional wedding was important to Ears, he’d endure it and possibly even enjoy it. A tiny bit. Maaaybe.

But Ears truly could not care less. At the end of the day, Javi is just content to be with woman he loves, regardless of what that looks like.

[disgruntledspacedad]

JAVIER PENA IS THE LUCKIEST MAN ALIVE!!!

Goddamn, isn’t he, though?🔥🔥🔥

Side note that I have not even seen most of these. 👀

Red lips??

Wedding dress?!?!

Be still my beating heart

But let’s be real. The one on the stairs is

classic Ears.

[disgruntledspacedad]

The Deck

A Better Love Series headcanon

Jack Aarons met Naomi Goldmann in 1944 when he was stationed at Barkston Heath. He was 25. Naomi was 17.

Naomi’s uncle owned a local where all the RAF boys would gather on the weekends. Naomi worked evenings there, and that’s how she met Jack.

Jack thought Naomi was gorgeous, with her dark eyes and wild hair and sweet smile. He asked her out three times.

There times, she turned him down.

But she’d always slip him an extra pint when the boys weren’t looking. “On the house,” she’d say. And sometimes, Jack would stay until closing just to have the chance to help Naomi clean up for the night.

Naomi is very easy to talk to. Jack finds out that she moved to England from Warsaw with her younger brothers during the summer of ‘38, that her uncle had taken them all in. He finds out that she’s got a wry sense of humor and a wicked sharp tongue. And one Friday night, well after the regulars are home and in bed, Jack finds out that Naomi Goldmann is an excellent kisser.

He finds himself confessing all sorts of things to her. How he worries about his kid brother back home, how lonely it is here, how he’s bored stiff in the barracks.

Naomi hums. She’s got that thoughtful look on her face. And the next time she sees Jack, she slips something into his breast pocket.

It’s a deck of playing cards.

The fourth time Jack Aarons asks Naomi Goldmann out, he decides on a whim to play for keeps. Jack asks for her hand in marriage.

And to his utter shock, Naomi says yes.

They marry in the spring of 1945, just weeks before Jack returns home. He and Naomi exchange a letters for several months, and in the fall of ‘45, Naomi says goodbye to her family, backs up a single battered duffel bag of belongings, and catches a boat to New York to join her husband in the United States.

Jack loves Naomi so much that he can hardly breathe when he looks at her. But rural Kentucky is a huge culture shock for Naomi, and being the young foreign wife to a military man is hard. By 1959, there’s more distance and silence in the Aarons house than there is anything, and Jack makes the worst mistake of his life.

He sleeps with another woman.

He confesses immediately, but Naomi’s had enough. She takes the boys and leaves, and Jack never sees her again.

It absolutely breaks him.

Jack doesn’t realize that he has a daughter until five years later, when the police show up with three kids in tow.

Hannah is his special kid. She looks so much like her mother that it steals Jack’s breath. Has that same fearlessness and tenacity, too. Jack doesn’t have the first clue how to be a dad to a little girl, but he does his damndest for Hannah.

He teaches her to play cards. Hannah has a sharp mind, and it helps Jack with his grief, making new memories with that old deck.

After Jack’s accident, Hannah takes the cards. Dad can’t use them anymore, anyway. She figures they’re hers, now.

When her apartment is bombed in December of 1992, losing Dad’s playing cards is the biggest blow. In a lot of ways, that deck of cards is all that Hannah has left of her dad.

Which is why it’s such a huge deal that Javi replaces them after the bomb. Not only did Javi pick up on the fact that those cards were important, but to Ears, it kind of feels like history repeating itself. She knows the origins of the cards. Dad had told it all to her, one late night after he’d had one too many beers. So having them replaced was kind of like Mom, and now Javi, saying, “hey, you’re not alone anymore.” Ears took it as a sign for the universe that Javier Peña was a man that she could trust with her entire heart.

And she wasn’t wrong.

[disgruntledspacedad]

I just had a major breakthrough for Ears - her motivations, her conflicts, her struggles, her goals, during season three. I’ve been working hard on this plot for the past couple of days, and it just tied itself up into a nice little bow for me. I fucking love having these ah-hah! moments with my characters. I think it’s what makes writing worth it.

Now I just need one for Javi.

[disgruntledspacedad]

I’ve done so much traveling this week and it’s making me think- how are Javi and Ears after a long absence? Nothing dramatic, just being assigned to different cities for long stretches, or one of them having to travel for weeks at a time. Is there a routine? Who picks up whom from the airport? Does it take them a minute to get back on the same wavelength?

Emma, dearest, you are a mind-reader. I’ve just been plotting out some season three stuff that deals with this a little. 😘

Neither of them like it, that’s for damned sure. As many long distance phone calls as they can afford. Javi, in particular, wants to know every single detail about Ears’ day. Ears is less concerned about details; she wants to know how Javi is doing, not what he’s been doing. There’s a lot of yearning and I missed your voice and oh yeah, you did?? that turns into full blown phone sex really fucking quick.

They both handle themselves pretty well, but certainly, they’re better together. Ears fills the silence by staying busy, and Javi throws himself into whatever work he’s doing, too.

Javi might struggle with separation a little more than Ears, especially in the early days after her kidnapping. Waking up to an empty bed takes him right back to those awful weeks when he’d laid awake in the dark, staring at the ceiling and imagining fates worse than death. Javi’s mind has a tendency to run away from him, and he might check in with Ears a little more than she checks in with him, just to reassure himself that she’s safe.

Texting, when that finally becomes a thing, is a mercy. Javier Peña is a menace in a text message. Not just to reach out and say, hey I’m thinking about you, which he does often. This man invented sexting, and the immediacy, novelty, and inherent naughtiness of it is instantly addicting to both of them.

Seriously. Catch these two sending each other dirty pictures during a business meeting...

Who does the picking up depends on who’s done the traveling. There’s tight hugs and poorly restrained public kisses, lots of fumbling around to decide who carries what bag and a big rush to the car to get home and reunite properly.

And teasing. Always teasing with these two.

They usually don’t have a problem falling right back into sync. The forced separation of Ears’ kidnapping taught them a lot about the value of communication and just priorities in general, and for the most part, they don’t sweat the small stuff. They’re both just overwhelmingly grateful to have the other - the rest will work itself out in time.

[disgruntledspacedad]

Oh shit, Ears is openly bisexual?? How did that conversation with Javi go?

I wouldn’t say that Ears is openly bisexual during her time in Colombia - that came later.

We know that Javi is aware of her sexuality during Aftershocks, because in Azafatas, he reacts to Ears’ interest in flight attendants, not necessarily Ears’ interest in women (assuming that Javi assumes that most flight attendants are women).

Telling Javi is a complete accident.

This is pre Rules, back when they were “friends with frequent benefits” at best (and fooling absolutely nobody).

It’s the first time that Javi takes her dancing. He’s absolutely appalled at Ears’ complete lack of skill, but her confidence in spite of that is sexy as fuck, and they both manage to get a little sloshed.

Ears makes a comment about the lady in the red dress. “Goddamn, those hips.”

Javi tells her in a filthy whisper that he can teach her to move her hips like that. Reaches for her. Teases her.

Ears laughs and lets him pull her in (seriously she does not mind) but also “No, Javi. Not her hips for dancing. For biting.”

And Javi falls still. Not because he’s exactly shocked. I mean, he is. It’s more that his whiskey addled brain is trying to catch up with what’s going on.

And Ears stiffens, too. Because unlike Javi, she realizes exactly what she’s just said.

“Fuck.”

“You like women?”

They speak at the same time. Ears is like a deer in the headlights, because, at this point in her life, her personal relationships getting entangled with her career is her nightmare scenario.

But Javi is still staring at her, waiting for an answer, and Ears won’t deny it. “Yeah.”

Javi’s brow furrows just a bit. “And men?” Again, he’s not judging. Bisexuality is just something that he hasn’t ever thought much about.

And he’s pretty drunk.

Now Ears is annoyed. “You know I like men, Javi,” she growls. She reaches firmly toward his belt, intending to prove her point.

Javi grabs her hand. Stops her. Is still wearing that tiny little frown that says that he’s thinking, his tongue darting out to lick at his top lip.

“Is that a problem?”

That snaps him out of it. “No!” He answers a little too loudly. Somebody glances at them, and Javi glares until they turn away. “No.” His voice is quieter now. A little rough. “It’s fine.”

Ears hardly has time to relax before Javi is pulling her into a sloppy kiss. She nips at his bottom lip, both in retaliation for keeping her hanging for so long, and because Javi’s lips are warm and fat and just perfect for nipping.

The kiss quickly turns heated, and the entire conversation is nearly forgotten by morning.

[disgruntledspacedad]

Listen, post Colombia Hannah Aarons is well dressed because Javi does all her shopping and most of her laundry, okay?

I don’t make the rules, I just relay the facts.