Forget About Us
Hello this is my first fic in like almost 6 months inspired by Forget About Us by Perrie Edwards
Thanks to my loves @nicohischier @assmanselke and @matthewtkachuk for yelling at me and letting me yell about this fic :)
Summary: Carson meets Jack, Jack falls for Carson, Carson does what she wants.
Word count: 7.4k
Warnings: Swearing, drinking, aNGST
Flashbacks are in italics. Also, I swear I read through this more than once but there might be errors unintentionally 😬
_________________________________________
Looking up into the stands, every game he plays in this city, he’s looking for her. He had been doing it for the past few years, always expecting to see her.
___________________________
“Can you stop pouting? We’re going to go out after the game,” Morgan begs.
“I don’t want to go out. I don’t want to be here or anywhere else besides my bed.”
Morgan rolls her eyes, sitting down in her seat. “Carson, you never go out.”
“Because I never want to go out,” she repeats. “I don’t have the money to go out.”
“The tickets were free from my job and I told you I would pay for your drinks tonight.”
“I don’t feel good,” Carson whines, knowing that it still wouldn’t be enough.
“You’re fine.”
“I’m on my period.”
“So am I, what’s your point?”
“Your period doesn’t make you double over in pain for three days.”
“This is the fourth day of your period when you have told me you always feel fine. And your period has been regular since you were fifteen when you went on birth control.”
“I don’t like that you know that.”
“Then maybe don’t tell me the same thing like a broken record every month?” Carson continues to pout, even though her friend is right. “Do you really not want to be here? We can leave after the first period if you really aren’t having fun. But, you do keep telling me you’ve been wanting to come to a game since we moved here.”
“No,” she drags out. “I just had a bad day at work.”
“What happened?”
The teams start coming out onto the ice for warm-ups, everyone booing the away team. It made no sense. They weren’t even actual rivals. The other team, from Carson’s understanding, was so inconsequential that they shouldn’t even matter. But who was she to argue?
“Anthony came by work today.”
“Anthony? Like Anthony, your ex, Anthony?”
“No, Anthony Michael Hall from The Breakfast Club.”
“What did he say?”
She and Morgan had this same conversation every week. “He wants to get back together.”
“And you told him, ‘no,’ right?”
“I’m grumpy, not stupid.”
Morgan sighs. Anthony kept showing up at the cafe Carson worked at between classes to ask for her back for the last month. He didn’t seem to care about the fact that they wanted wildly different things in their lives and that they weren’t going to work. Carson wanted to get her JD and leave New Jersey for good. She was tired of the debate over whether or not the central part of the state existed, if it was called Taylor Ham or Pork Roll, and which beach down the shore was the best. She wanted out as soon as possible, and Anthony wanted to stay here and settle down. He wanted someone who wanted to be at home with the kids, which Carson really didn’t want. The only way she could think about staying in New Jersey was if her partner wanted everything else she wanted. Whoever she ended up with had to be everything else to her. Anthony wasn’t it.
Morgan slowly forms a smile on her face, one that immediately makes Carson panic. “Whatever you’re thinking, don’t do it.”
“Who said I’m going to do something that you’ll hate?”
“Every past action that you’ve done without talking to me about it first says you’re going to do something I’m going to end up hating.”
Morgan rolls her eyes, pulling out her wallet and handing Carson her debit card. “Here, you go get us beer and pizza so that way you don’t have to see what I’m about to do.” Carson sits there, Morgan shoving the card into her hands. “Go.”
Both of them get up from their seats, Carson feeling a sense of panic as she watches her roommate go down to the ice while typing furiously on her phone. Carson tries to get back to their seats as fast as she can, worried about what antics she was about to be dragged into. She wanted to be home early that night so she could start studying for one of her exams that week. She did not have time to do whatever it was that Morgan was planning to do.
“Here,” Morgan hands her something as she sits back down, Carson still trying to figure out how to balance two overflowing drinks and two slices of pizza larger than her own head. “I got this for you.”
“You got me a puck?”
“Yes.”
“Ok?”
“You could say thank you.”
“Thank you for a piece of rubber that could probably break a bone if you get hit with it hard enough.”
“You’ll get the rest of what I got you tonight.”
“I swear to god,” Carson starts. “I’m not god, but I am close to a goddess.”
Carson groans, trying to focus on anything other than the terror that she was sure was about to come to her tonight. One of the players kept looking up at her, over his shoulder and seemingly ignoring his teammates. “What did you do?”
Morgan shrugs, nudging Carson’s shoulder as she waves at the player. “His name is Jack.”
“Just because I’m studying law, that doesn’t mean I’m above breaking at least one of them.”
“Yes, it does.”
The game starts, Carson’s eyes staying on the one player who had been watching her before. He gave her the vibes of someone who would end up naked and drunk in the hallway of her dorm in college, passed out and unsure of where his pants or keys were.
“He’s cute, isn’t he?” Morgan asks once the second period starts.
Carson doesn’t make a noise, just nodding. He was the exact type of mistake she would make on a night out when she needed to forget about something. “Why does he keep staring?”
“Probably for the same reason you’re staring at him even if you do look like you want to kill him.” Carson turns to glare at Morgan. “I’m just saying, you might be hot, but you also look like you could commit a felony right now.”
Carson sighs, waiting for the end of the game. She had no idea what was going on, but Morgan seemed to be into it at least.
Carson lets out a yawn as the fans start to file out of the arena, Morgan dragging her along behind her. “Can we please just go home?”
“No, I have a surprise for you.”
“Last time you had a surprise for me, I ended up needing three of my tires replaced.”
“And they gave you the fourth one for free, anyway,” Morgan grabs Carson’s hand, pulling her in the direction of some bar she wouldn’t remember the name of in the morning.
Carson knew that no matter how much she complained to Morgan, her friend would have something to counter every whine. They had lived together all four years of college before finally somehow scraping together enough money to each get their own places, despite the fact that they were still neighbors in their apartment building. Morgan, unfortunately, could get Carson to do anything she asked her to since she knew exactly how to make it so Carson wouldn’t say no. Most of the time, it involved physically dragging Carson places, like she was doing right now, but it always somehow worked.
“I’m paying for drinks,” Morgan tells her, dropping Carson’s hand as they two walk into the unreasonably crowded and slightly smelly bar.
“Yeah, like that was in question,” Carson tells her.
“You go sit down, I’ll find you.”
Morgan leaves Carson alone. The scene around her made her want to run away, except for the fact that Morgan could track her location and would not be above chasing her down the street and dragging her back to the bar. Everyone seemed like they were five drinks in, Carson feeling anxious about being what seemed to be the only sober person around.
“You ok?” a voice comes behind her, snapping her out of her potential spiral. She turns around, the guy from the game standing in front of her.
“This isn’t real,” she mutters, shaking her head. How the hell did Morgan manage this?
“What?” the guy asks, understandably confused.
“Sorry,” Carson says. “I mean, yeah, I’m fine.”
“You don’t seem fine.”
“I’m dehydrated.”
“Can I get you water, then?”
“No.”
“But, wouldn’t that help with the dehydration thing?”
Carson stares at him, dumbfounded. “I can get water myself,” she says, her tone a little harsher than she intended it to be.
“I’m Jack,” he introduces himself, not getting the message at all.
“That’s nice.”
“Do you have a name?”
“No, that spot on my birth certificate has been blank for the last twenty four years. Everyone calls me whatever nickname they can think of. The current one is ‘Maverick.’”
Jack opens his mouth to say something, Morgan appearing in between them before he can get a word in. “You actually came!”
“How could I pass up coming to meet someone as sweet as your friend here after the game?”
Carson barely knew him, but she already knew he would be a thorne in her side.
“She’s already been mean to you, hasn’t she?” Morgan laughs, finally handing Carson the drink she got for her.
“Hey,” Carson tries to protest, despite both of them ignoring her.
“It’s fine. It’s kinda hot,” he smirks, staring at Carson. She didn’t care that she couldn’t help but stare back, her cheeks bright red at his words.
___________________________
She always sat in the same general area, a few rows from the top of the section right behind their bench. It was easy to find her. How could he not at least try?
___________________________
“Why are you anxious?” Morgan asks, plopping down on Carson’s couch.
“Who said I was anxious?”
“You’re scrunchie.”
“What could that possibly mean?”
“You’re scrunching your brow so much and frowning so hard that you have wifi symbols showing on your face. You only do that when you’re anxious.”
“Please don’t say that to me ever again.” Carson lets out a sigh. She shouldn’t be anxious. She’s done things that were so much more difficult than this. She graduated with a 4.0 GPA in high school and college. She participated in every possible extra curricular that she could, and did so perfectly. She had her life scheduled down to the minute, when she would study, eat, have free time. She didn’t have time to be anxious. “Jack is supposed to be here any minute.”
Morgan lets out a squeal so high that Carson covers her ears. “You’re finally going on a date with him?”
“If you want to call it that.”
“Tell me everything,” Morgan says, plopping herself at Carson’s feet.
“No.”
“Carson,” Morgan whines.
“Morgan,” Carson counters. “I don’t even know where we’re going. From what it sounds like, it’s not even going to be just us, it’s something with the team.”
“He’s taking you to meet the rest of his team?” she yells.
“If you get that loud again, I’m throwing you out the window.”
“We both know your window doesn’t open far enough for me to get out of it, we’ve tried. Anyway,” Morgan continues, ignoring Carson’s annoyance, as usual. “That means something if he already wants you to know his teammates.”
“It means he already had plans with them when he asked me to go out with him and is dragging me somewhere I wasn’t otherwise invited.”
“You could be positive sometimes, you know.”
“There’s no fun in that.”
“Carse,” Morgan says, “He wouldn’t be inviting you if he didn’t like you. He wouldn’t have been texting you every waking moment that he could if he didn’t like you.”
“It’s kind of annoying.”
“That’s because you are a black hole personified and he’s the human equivalent of a dumb puppy.”
Carson scrunches her face while she looks at her friend. “That’s mean.”
“I’m trying to say that you two are different. And that’s ok. He’s more extroverted than you are. You’re still going to have fun because you’re going to be with him.” Carson looks at her, unsure. “If you’re not fine, I have your location and I will come join you guys, or come pick you up.”
“Why am I nervous?”
“Probably because this is the first guy you’re going out with that doesn’t look like a dead baby bird.”
“Sometimes, inside thoughts can stay inside.”
“My point,” Morgan starts, pulling Carson up to lead her out the door, “Is that he’s not your normal type and you don’t know what to do, so you’re panicking. But, again, you’ll be fine.”
Before Carson could say anything else, a knock came from the other side of her door. Morgan opens it, Jack standing there with his hands in his jeans pocket.
“Wow,” Morgan verbalizes what Carson was thinking as she tries not to ogle at Jack. His jeans fit him way more perfectly than she would have liked, the t-shirt he had on showing off his arms in a way that made her feel like she was actually about to start drooling. For fucks sake.
“I think Carson is supposed to say that,” Jack jokes, leaning against the door frame.
“Jesus Christ,” Carson groans, Morgan laughing as she pushes her way past Jack to head back to her place.
“Actually, they call me Jack.”
“If you keep this up all night, I’m not leaving this apartment.”
“Is this your way of asking me to come in?”
“Absolutely not. We’re going now to meet your friends or you’re going by yourself.”
Carson didn’t see Jack physically swoon at Carson as she walked past him, a stupid grin on his face as he watched her walk away from him.
___________________________
Morgan was sitting next to her, the two of them seeing less of each other now that they didn’t live with or next to each other anymore. Carson was laughing at something Morgan was telling her, the smile on her face reaching her eyes.
___________________________
“What are you doing right now?”
Carson groaned, knowing that any time Jack was asking her to do something lately, it was to pull her away from something she actually had to get done. “Studying.”
“When’s the test?”
“Next week.”
“Come out with me.”
“No.”
“I’m picking you up, I’m turning onto your street now.”
Jack hangs up before Carson can protest, her immediately texting Morgan to tell her she was being kidnapped.
‘You aren’t being kidnapped, you aren’t a kid.’
‘Kidnapping is anytime a person’s liberty is restrained by force and taken to another location.��
Before Morgan could text back, Jack was knocking at her door.
“I’m not going.”
“Come on. Half an hour?” he begs her. Carson glares at him. “I’ll buy ice cream.”
“I’m lactose intolerant.”
“Says that three cheese pizza you downed the other night.” Carson continues to glare at him. “Please? I’m leaving tomorrow for a week and a half. It’ll be the last time I can bother you until then.”
Carson rolls her eyes, shutting her textbook with her highlighter keeping her page like a bookmark. “I’m studying in the car.” Jack smiles at her, holding his hand out for her. Carson smirks, grabbing another book from her table and putting it in his hands instead.
Jack runs to follow her, his free hand on the small of her back, a smile on his face as she didn’t fight it. They get in his car, the windows down and the radio blasting as he peels away from where he was parked.
Jack starts talking, Carson not listening in the slightest as she continues to read the book in her lap, just like she promised.
“Wait, shut up,” Carson finally says, reaching over to turn up the music that was already loud. “I love this song.”
Jack laughs, glancing at her as he pulls up to a stop light. “Seriously? 1985 by Bowling for Soup?”
“My childhood best friend and I would listen to this song all the time growing up,” Carson explains,the smile on her face something Jack rarely got to see but loved every time. Jack’s smile mirrored hers as she started to sing along. He couldn’t help but laugh again as he listened to her. “What?”
“You are a horrible singer.”
“Yeah, because you would be better,” she snides, looking back at her book.
“Oh, of course I would be,” he says, starting to sing along with her.
Carson cackles, a sound Jack had never heard from her before. “You are just as bad as I am.”
___________________________
He thought of her whenever that song played, his heart beating faster every time the opening guitar riff played through whatever speaker he was near. He never purposefully listened to that song. The song never played in any of the arenas they played in, except for Rogers Arena, like it was now.
___________________________
“What do you mean, ‘we’re going out tonight?’” Carson groans.
“You just finished finals, Quinn is in town, and we’re heading down the shore for the weekend.”
“So I have to pack for a whole weekend?”
“Unless you plan on wearing the same thing for four days, I suggest you do,” Jack says, Morgan laying on Carson’s bed laughing.
“I wish you were helpful,” Carson says, throwing a shirt at Morgan. “I’m not here to be helpful, I’m here to be comic relief.”
“Then you should try being funny sometimes.”
Jack laughs, his phone buzzing with a call. “I’ll be right back,” he says, getting up and answering it out of Carson’s room.
Once he was out of earshot, Morgan sits up, a giddy look on her face that caused a pit to form in Carson’s stomach. “You’re going away with him for a weekend!” Carson grimaces. “You aren’t excited?”
Carson sighs, getting up to close her door so Jack can’t hear them. “I think he wants more from whatever this is than I do.”
“What do you mean?” Morgan whispers.
“I can’t see a relationship with him.”
“Carse, he’s perfect.”
“He kind of is. Which is why I don’t see it. Anthony was perfect.”
“No, Anthony was the human equivalent of a stale ham sandwich who, if brains were money, wouldn’t have been able to buy a cup of coffee.”
“Go eat something.”
“What?”
“Your metaphors turn food related when you’re hungry.”
“My point is,” Morgan says, getting up. “Anthony is not Jack. Don’t ruin something before it starts because of something that happened with someone else.” “Hey,” Jack says, startling both of them. “Sorry, Luke was asking if we were on his way to pick him up. Are we ready to head out?”
___________________________
He was so busy staring at her that he didn’t realize that Luke had skated up to his side.
“You didn’t know she’d be here?” Jack shakes his head. “Quinn doesn’t know you still love her?”
He shakes his head.
___________________________
Carson hated to admit it, but she was having a good time. She hated to admit that she needed to relax, especially after the intensity that she had when she was taking finals. They were sitting around a fire one of them had set up on the beach, the smell of smoke hitting Carson right in the face, the night air starting to chill around them. The guys were all laughing, their partners sitting in their laps as a few of them fell asleep.
“Where’s Quinn?” Luke leans over Carson to ask Jack.
“You have his location,” Carson says before Jack can answer. The brothers keep anticipating Quinn with every new person that shows up, their usually prompt brother still MIA.
“I don’t know where my phone is.”
“What’s that in your left hand, bud?”
“Right,” Luke draws out as Carson and Jack both laugh at him. “He’s supposed to be here any minute.”
Luke gets up to head back to the house for what he claims is to use the bathroom. “He hasn’t been drunk in a while. He gets dumber as he drinks,” Jack tells her.
Carson checks the can of beer he left behind. “Isn’t this his first drink of the night?”
“Yeah, why?”
“This can is still full.”
“He might just be dumb.”
“Bold of you to call someone else dumb,” an unfamiliar voice comes from behind their circle around the fire.
“I was just about to say that,” Carson says to the guy who must be Quinn, given how much he looks like his brother.
“God, I never realized there’s two of you,” Jack says to Quinn, the color draining from his face.
“I don’t think you’d survive with two of me,” Carson says, Jack mumbling something about going to the house for a minute as he gets up, a smile on his face anyway.
“So, you must be Carson?” Quinn asks her.
“What was your first clue?” she tries to flirt, taking a sip of her drink while maintaining eye contact with him. She knew that Jack was cute, but there was something different about Quinn. She and Jack were opposites. She and Quinn were the same.
___________________________
He still loved the way she looked in that old hoodie that she stole, the team logo faded and cut through, the number that was supposed to be the right side of her chest gone. He remembered when she stole that, the way her eyes lit up the first time he saw her in it as she told him she liked that she could wear it while he was traveling and he would still be with her.
___________________________
“Who’s picking up Carson?” Ellen yells up the stairs.
“I am,” Quinn and Jack both called at the same time, Jack’s mind running wild at the fact that his brother answered with him. Since meeting Quinn a few weeks ago, Carson had been mentioning him a lot more in their conversations. He shouldn’t be bothered by it. They never actually established that they were dating. Sure, they had hooked up, and sure, it was all Jack could think about since, but they were never dating.
He wasn’t Carson’s boyfriend.
“We both are,” Jack amends, running down the stairs when he hears Quinn do the same.
The brothers get in Quinn’s car, a smile across Quinn’s face while Jack can feel himself start to panic. “So, you’re excited to see Carson?”
“Yeah,” Quinn lets out. “I’ve missed Car.”
“Car?”
“That’s what I call her sometimes, yeah.”
“Doesn’t everyone else call her ‘Carse’ if they don’t call her Carson?”
Quinn laughs. “She said she likes when I call her ‘Car,’ instead.” Quinn keeps talking the rest of the way to the airport, both boys getting a text from her saying that she had just landed.
Neither boy had seen Carson in weeks, but it seemed like she had been talking to Quinn much more than she had been talking to Quinn.
Quinn pulls up to the airport, both boys getting out to go find the girl they wanted to see. Jack felt like he was racing Quinn to get to her first, Quinn having no idea what was going on in Jack’s head.
They get inside, both of them looking for her.
“Thanks for introducing us, by the way,” Quinn says, breaking the silence between them.
“What?”
“Me and Carson. When you told me I’d love her, I didn’t realize how right you’d be.”
Jack swallows, the pit in his stomach making him feel like he wanted to throw up. Quinn couldn’t love Carson the way Jack did.
The way Jack did?
Jack spots her first, shaking his head of the thought of loving her when he sees the Canucks sweatshirt with 43 on it hanging on her body. Jack looks at Quinn, Quinn’s favorite sweatshirt on the girl Jack wanted to be with.
Carson spots them, a smile on her face as she runs towards them, her suitcase clumsily trailing behind her. She lets go of her suitcase, it rolling towards Jack as she runs into Quinn’s arms, acting as if Jack wasn’t there to begin with.
___________________________
Morgan says one last thing to Carson, heading back towards the concessions, probably to get them drinks. Knowing Carson, she was out with Morgan on the condition that she didn’t have to pay for drinks. Jack couldn’t help but laugh to himself, Luke giving him a strange look while he stood there, lost in thought.
___________________________
Why would Carson want to be out right now?
She wouldn’t want to.
So why was she out right now at a bar that was way too loud, smelled incredibly bad, and was so crowded she could barely move a muscle without hitting another person?
Morgan.
Well, and Jack.
But, mostly Morgan.
“I hate you for this,” she yelled over whatever music was playing.
“No, you don’t,” Morgan and Jack say at the same time, both of them laughing despite Carson sending both of them a death stare.
“You haven’t been out of your apartment in, like, two months,” Jack says as Morgan walks away to get another drink
“We went to get coffee together four times this week,” Carson rebuttes, her phone in her hand lighting up with a text from Quinn.
She couldn’t help but smile at the sight of his name, not paying attention to the clear awkwardness that Jack felt when he saw his own brother’s name on her phone. She loved texting him, talking with him every free minute the two of them had. She was falling for him, and she was falling for him fast.
Quinn loved that she was a lawyer, that she was passionate about helping people, he respected all of her decisions when it came to her uncertainty with her future. He made her laugh, he constantly made sure that she was ok and genuinely showed he cared about her.
He was everything he wanted in a guy, except that he was on the other side of the continent.
“What’s Vancouver like?” she asks Jack, again having to yell over the noise.
Jack shrugs, “It seems a lot like New Jersey, honestly. I’m never there long enough to find out.”
Could she see herself in Vancouver? She had looked into it, she just had to take another exam and be approved by their judicial system and she would be ok to practice law.
Quinn had officially asked her to be his girlfriend when she went to visit the boys a few weeks ago. She wasn’t sure if Jack knew yet.
“I’m going to get another drink, do you want anything?” she asks, elbowing her way back to the bar when he says he’s fine.
“Haven’t seen you in a while,” she hears from behind her once she orders her drink. She turns around, trying not to audibly groan.
“Anthony.”
“How are you Carse?”
“Fine.”
“Just fine?”
“Do I need to give more?”
“Well, it’s a genuine question.”
“‘Fine’ is a genuine answer. What do you want, Anthony?”
“When can we get back together?”
Carson scoffs, the bartender handing her her drink that she was now tempted to throw in his face. “We’re not.”
“Come on, Carse,” he says, taking a step toward her, his hand trailing down her arm. “We had so much fun together. Why do we want to throw all that away?”
“I have a boyfriend, Anthony.”
“I don’t see him.”
Before Carson could answer, she feels Jack come up behind her, thankful that it was him and not some other stranger. “Babe, I told you, I was paying for drinks tonight.”
Carson looks up at him, turning toward him so Anthony couldn’t see her mouth a quick ‘thank you,’ to him. “I put it on your tab, don’t worry,” she turns back to Anthony, the smile on her face because of the stupid look on his face. “Anthony, meet my boyfriend, Jack.”
Anthony mumbles something, walking away before either of them could say anything else.
“I owe you,” Carson says once Anthony is far enough away neither of them could see him.
“Well, drinks are on me tonight,” he says, earning a laugh from her. “Nice job, lying about the boyfriend thing. Think we’ll have to keep it up until we leave?”
Carson laughs again. “I wasn’t lying about having a boyfriend.”
“What?” Jack asks, Carson not noticing the panic on his face.
“Quinn asked me to be his girlfriend.”
Before Jack can respond, Morgan runs over, squealing something about how their song was playing and that they just had to go dance. Carson quickly hands her drink to Jack, running off with her friend.
Jack downs the drink, ordering another.
His brother got the girl.
___________________________
He sees Carson waving to someone down on the ice, his heart racing in the worst way because he knew it wasn’t to him. Jack followed her gaze to Quinn, who was waving back at her, a smile on his face while he was on the ice when he was notorious for looking like he was having an existential crisis all the time. He should hate the guy who got to love the girl he wanted to be with. But how could he hate his brother?
___________________________
“You’re what?”
“I’m moving to Vancouver.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
“I’m coming, too.”
“No you aren’t.”
“I can’t live without you.”
“Morgan,” Carson whines, “You’re going to be fine.”
Morgan groans, rolling her eyes. “I’m being dramatic, let me mourn.” The girls laugh, Carson getting up to grab a drink. “So, you and Quinn are actually serious?”
“Yeah, I mean, we have to be if I’m willing to move across the continent and to another country.”
“Are you going to be able to practice law?”
Before Carson can answer, a knock at her doors follows with someone walking in.
“Are you a murderer?” Morgan yells to the stranger from Carson’s kitchen, prompting Carson to roll her eyes.
“Definitely,” Jack says, appearing in the doorway. “I got us dinner,” he says, holding up a bag. “What are we talking about?”
“If Carson can practice law or not.”
Jack laughs, setting down the food. “How did you manage to get disbarred already? You passed like three months ago.”
“I shot a man in Reno,” Carson deadpans. “I didn’t get disbarred. I’m just,” she hesitates, knowing that telling the two people who were her best friends was going to be the hardest. “I’m moving.”
Jack’s attention snaps to Carson, a look of panic on his face. “Where?”
“She’s moving in with Quinn.”
“You’re moving to Vancouver?”
“Yeah. Quinn asked me last week to move out there with him, and I told him yes today.”
Jack didn’t hear anything else while the three of them sat at Carson’s table and ate the food Jack brought. She would be able to practice law in Canada with a few more steps to get there, she would be living with Quinn.
She would be away from Jack.
She would never be with Jack.
___________________________
He could see the engagement ring on her finger from here, the sapphire in the middle catching the light in just the right way. His mother had their grandmother’s engagement ring, something much more simple, that had been intended for whichever boy wanted to give it to their future partner. Jack didn’t want to give it to anyone. He knew that their grandmother’s ring was picked for their grandmother. He wanted to give his person a ring meant for them. He wanted to give a ring he knew would suit her and would make her think of him whenever she looked at it. That’s why he and Quinn had helped the jeweler design it in the first place. It had to be made for her.
___________________________
Quinn had texted in the family group chat that the ring was ready and that he was picking it up from the jeweler that day after practice.
Everyone in the family congratulated him, his mom gushing about how excited she was to have a daughter, and how happy she was that it was Carson. His dad talked about how he was glad Quinn found someone who made him happy. Luke gave a thumbs up and texted in the group chat without their parents something stupid that Jack still hadn’t read yet.
Jack said nothing.
And he wasn’t sure anyone noticed.
Quinn and Carson were going to be engaged soon.
Jack didn’t know who to talk to, his finger hovering over Carson’s contact. He shouldn’t call her. He could call Morgan. But he knew Morgan was busy doing something with her job. He didn’t want to bother her.
He pressed it, turning on the speaker and pushing his phone away from him before he could hang up.
“Hello?” her name comes out of his speaker. He opens his mouth to say something, realizing he had no idea where to begin. “Jack, are you ok?”
“Yeah, yeah, sorry, dropped my phone,” he lied, lunging to grab it. “We haven’t talked in a while.”
Carson laughs, Jack’s insides jumping at the sound he hadn’t heard in a while. “Yeah, it has been a while.”
“How are things?” he asks, silently smacking his forehead at how stupid he sounded. He used to be able to talk to her with ease, having conversations that would go on for hours before either of them even found any silence between them.
Now he could barely talk to her, the sound of her voice something he wanted to hear so badly, something he missed more than he could actually put into words, and he didn’t know what to say so that he could listen to her.
“Things are actually really great,” she says. He could hear the smile on her face coming through the phone. “Quinn and I just work together, you know?”
“Yeah, yeah,” he repeats to himself, trying to hide the pain he felt hearing that. “Have you and Quinn talked about…” he starts, his voice trailing off, the words catching in his throat knowing that Quinn could technically ask her at any moment.
“About what?”
“About you guys getting married?”
Carson stays quiet for a second, a smile on her face forming that broke Jack’s heart with every millimeter it grew. “Yeah, we have.”
“And?”
Carson’s cheeks turned red. “He hasn’t told me outright, but I think he’s proposing soon.”
Jack’s heart fully shattered, a fake smile on his face. “That’s great.”
“He hasn’t talked to you about it at all?”
“We, uh,” he starts, running his hand through his hair as he laid down on his bed. “We haven’t been able to get each other on the phone lately.” The two of them sat in silence, one of the first times neither of them knew what to say to each other. Conversation used to be so easy between them. “Don’t do it.”
“What?” Carson asks, Jack unsure if she didn’t hear him or thought she didn’t.
“Don’t get engaged to him.”
“Jack-”
“Carson, I still love you,” he blurts out, leaving Carson stunned. “Carson, please say something.” He wasn’t planning on telling her during this conversation. He wasn’t planning on telling her at all.
“Still?”
“I think I started falling for you the first minute I saw you.”
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
Jack swallows, trying to stop his voice from cracking. “By the time I realized it, you were already falling in love with Quinn.”
“Jack.”
“How could I tell you I love you when I was watching you fall in love with my older brother?”
“Jack.”
“How am I supposed to sit here knowing that you’re going to spend the rest of your life with someone who is perfect for you knowing that I was so close to being that person?” he says outloud.
“What do you want me to say?” she whispers.
“Tell me you won’t do it.”
Carson squeezes her eyes shut, a tear rolling down her cheek. “I can’t.”
“Carson.”
“Jack, I love Quinn. And he loves me. It has to go both ways. I can’t tell him ‘no’ because you feel something for me that I never felt for you.” Jack says nothing, mostly because he doesn’t know what to say. “I have to go. Quinn will be home any minute.”
Carson hangs up, without saying another word, the front door opening as she whipped away her tears.
“Hey,” Quinn says, placing a kiss on the top of her head. “You ready to head out?”
“Uh, just give me a minute. I was talking to Jack and got distracted.”
“Yeah? How is he? I haven’t heard from him in a while.”
“He mentioned that,” Carson nods, getting up from her chair. “I’m gonna go grab my shoes.”
Quinn watches her walk away, checking his pockets to make sure he had everything he needed for the night.
Phone, check.
Keys, check.
Wallet, check.
Engagement ring.
Check.
___________________________
Quinn skates over to his brothers, who were still standing next to each other. The crowd starts yelling, as they normally do when the three brothers are on the same ice at the same time. Luke and Jack greet Quinn, Jack trying to pretend like he wasn’t distracted.
“Hey, wait,” Quinn says when the two are about to skate away. Luke hangs back slightly, pretending not to listen. “Carson wants to get together after the game, all four of us.”
Jack looks at Luke. “Uh, we have a flight out tonight.”
“Luke said you guys are leaving until the morning.”
“It got changed,” Jack lies, making a mental note to turn off his location and hope he can convince Luke to do the same. “The weather’s supposed to be too bad to fly out in the morning.”
“Come on. It’s the last time we’ll be able to get together, just the four of us, before the wedding.”
___________________________
“Ready to go?” Luke asks, suitcase in hand as their boarding group gets called.
“No,” Jack mumbles.
Luke rolls his eyes, yanking Jack by the arm to pull him towards the plane. “What’s your problem with Carson?” Jack fastens his seatbelt, pretending not to hear his younger brother. “Dude.”
“I don’t have a problem with Carson.”
“Then why do you shut down and act like a prick any time we go see them, or anytime her name is mentioned?” Jack doesn’t say anything. “No, we have 6 hours on this plane, so either you are going to use that time to tell me why you have a problem with our future sister-in-law or I’m going to tell Quinn that I’m worried you’re going to Richard Ramirez her in her sleep.”
Jack looks at his brother with a look of horror. “What the fuck? I’m not the Night Stalker.”
“Talk,” Luke pokes his brother’s side.
“I liked Carson before she met Quinn.”
“You’re acting like this because you had a crush on her?”
“I’m acting like this because I fell in love with her and she never even thought of me that way.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, oh.”
“Every interaction you’ve ever had with her now makes sense.”
“What?”
“Every time you talk to her, you have that look on your face like she was telling you she killed your first born.” Jack looks at him horrified, again. “Yeah, like that.”
“Stop watching CSI.”
“There’s so many seasons.”
Luke keeps talking about something while he doesn’t realize Jack is barely paying attention, interjecting with a generic confirmatory noise every once in a while until Jack finally pretends to go to sleep.
His brother eventually falls asleep instead, leaving Jack alone with his thoughts without his brother’s voice in his ear. He hadn’t seen or talked to Carson since the night she called him before Quinn had proposed. She went from a stranger, to someone he could see in his life forever, back to a stranger.
He couldn’t even talk to a girl anymore without thinking of Carson, how she compared to her, how her humor and deadpan delivery wasn’t the same as Carson’s, how she didn’t look like Carson or walk like Carson. He was in love with his brother’s fiance, on his way to their engagement party.
___________________________
Jack barely processed what happened during the game. He made the plays he had to, passed the puck when he needed to, but his mind was empty.
After the game, Luke comes up to him once they're both dressed. “Ready for this?”
“No.”
“Let’s do it, then.”
They wait for Quinn outside, the adrenaline coursing through him more than he wanted to admit. He wasn’t sure he could face her, even after all this time.
“Hi,” he hears behind him, the voice he once loved now sending panic through him.
“Hi.”
___________________________
“Alright, you’ve got to get it together,” Luke says as they get out of the car that brought them to the venue. Their parents were already inside, Carson and Quinn definitely inside.
“I’ll be fine,” he lies, a gift in shaking hand as he opens the door with the other to let Luke go first. He took a deep breath, bracing himself to go in and face Carson for the first time since their phone call the night they ended up getting engaged. “I’ll be fine.”
The party was set up in a way that made exact sense for Carson, it was classy and elegant, while still having shades of Quinn’s chaos thrown in here and there. He didn’t know exactly why it made sense for them, but it did.
Because they made sense.
“Hi,” he hears behind him, causing him to jump. Carson stands behind him, a short white dress fitting her perfectly in a way that made his heart race. He knew there was a reason to wear a black shirt, and it was to hide the sweat that he felt coming on just being around her. “How are you?”
“Good,” he says, holding out the gift. “This is from us.”
“Us?”
“Um,” he shakes his head, letting out a nervous laugh. “Me and Luke. You didn’t expect him to pick something out on his own, did you?’
“No, not at all.”
They stand in silence, neither of them knowing what to do. “You look good,” he says, probably one of the first opinions he shared that actually had some semblance of truth to it.
“Thanks, you do, too. How are things?”
“Things are good,” he says, trying not to cringe at how awkward this whole thing felt. He shouldn't have come, but how was he going to say no to the girl he loved and his own brother? “I’m seeing someone, actually,” he hears himself say, surprised by the lie he didn’t know was coming.
“Really?” her eyes light up. “Jack, that’s great. Quinn didn’t tell me that.”
“It’s still new. I haven’t really said anything about it to Quinn yet. I don’t want to jinx it, you know?”
“I get it,” she nods, a smile still lighting up her face. “I’m so happy for you.”
She pulls him in for a hug, Jack keeping one of his hands in his pants pocket. He knew himself too well; if he hugged her too tight, he wouldn’t want to let go.
He hated how corny and stupid he felt. She is his older brother's fiance. He had to forget about her in that way.
“Hey,” Quinn joins them, pulling Jack in for a hug. “Sorry to interrupt, but Car, there’s someone I want you to meet.”
“Go, go, I need to find my way to a drink anyway,” Jack waves them off.
Carson takes Quinn’s hand, turning to be led off somewhere by Quinn. She turns over her shoulder, smiling at Jack, as he watched the two of them walk off. She turns away, Jack staring up at the ceiling, not wanting to watch her walk away.
___________________________
The four of them get to a restaurant Quinn had taken his brothers to before, despite the fact that Jack couldn’t remember the name for the life of him.
Jack sets his phone on the table, the rest of them doing the same.
As they order, Jack’s phone lights up with a text from Morgan: ‘When do you come home? I miss you.’
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